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Conducted from *1»*« to mi. Forty-eight jtmm. under tho Editorship or WILLIAM WALLACE SCREWS. ■.**■ T. SHEEHAN .. ■ -CHA8. H. ALLEN.Publisher. Entered at Montgomery Poetofllce *• second • glass matter under Act of Congress of Marco i. l»7». Wembers of Associated Proas and American i,; Newspaper Publishers’ Association. t -- COMPLETE REPORT OP_ _ THE ASSOCIATED PRESS R: DAILY- and SUNDAT (By Carrier or Mali.) g Per Annum ....17.10 One Month ....I .}• £ Six Months .... 1.00 One Week . .11 Three Months .. 1.05 Single Copies .. .05 $ Sunday Edition alone, per year .11.00 | All communications should be addressed “ and aTl money orders, checks, etc., made pay* > able to THE ADVERTISER COMPANY. Mont : gomery, Ala. . ^ ELLY-8MITH CO.—Foreign Representatlre. Lytton Bldg., Chicago; 210 5th Ave.. N. Y.. City. J.The AdTertlaer Telephone No. Private Branch Eaehnnge Connecting All Departments. APRIL. 1017. .<.18,001 I....20,080 4.18,080 8.18,18* *.19,414 I .19.888 8.22,711 ,8.19,841 10.19,802' II .19,838 1*.19,811 }*.19.801 If.83.078 in 17 18 18 10 II 11 23 24 25 25 27 28, 28 80. ...18.802 ...18,813 ...18.636 ...18,630 ...16,841 ...23.188 ...18.648 ...18.580 ...18.541 ...18.480 ...18.416 ...18.425 .. .12.788 ...18.388 Total . *oi.m Ltw Returna . 17,701 Net Total. 114.111 Daily Average, April, 1917 ....-18,935 Sunday Average, April, 1917 ... 22,195 i. Ia Boeahana, Circulation Manager of The Montgomery Adrertiaer, being duly aworn. •ay a: The foregoing atatement of The Adver tleer'a circulation for the Month of April. 1117, la true and correot and compiled after returna and apoiled copiea have been do* ducted. THE ADVERTISER CO.. J. U BOESHAN8. Circulation Manager. Sworn to and aubacribed before me thla Second day of May. 1117. (SEAL.) ^ W. F. LEE. Notary Public, Montgomery County. Alabama OPPORTUNITIES FOR TRAINED WOMEN Easily .the moat popular and Important - line of-development In America In future will , be in the rural life of the nation. We have had frontier development, mining development, business expansion, monetary f reform and polltloal upheaval and evolution; we are now experiencing a readjustment of. our nation to the other nations of the earth, an awakening of the "National conscious* ness." In future the'chief matter of Importance will be expansion of rural life activities. We are being forced to put our minds to basio problems In economica This being the cdpe there is no where elee to turn but to ' the farm. A happier and more proeperous day la at hand for the farmer, and con sequently to the rest of ua as a result of this turn In the publto mind. A paternal government la endeavoring to run Its lines to all the farms of America Agricultural colleges and schools known to every State; especially to Alabama schools and colleges which emphasise home eco nomics, are symptoms of the new day. Agri cultural literature, free to everyona falls from the presses of the United States De partment of Agriculture by the bala Farm demonstration agents are present In hun -dreda of American counties to give expert aid to the farmers la Alabama tn ueparimem or junior ana Homo Economics Extension, under the direc tion of Prof. I* N. Duncan of the Alabama Polytechnlo Institute, Is a significant and highly useful service to our people. This division of the extension service Includes the poultry club'.work In charge of Miss Uary Femlnear; the pig club work In charge of J. C. Ford and the corn and four-crop club work In charge of L B. Karlin. Canning ‘ Clubs and home demonstration agents are now present In many of our counties, the canning club work being under the direction of women who are specially qualified to give expert advice to the girls of the clubs on the canning of fruits and vegetables which for merly went to waste or were canned and preserved at no little Inconvenience and ex pense of time and money. Women qualified to do this work are scarce. The work being comparatively new, there has not yet been sufficient time In which to develop trained demonstrators The * result Is that at this very time there Is a hopeless demand for young women to take the position of county demonstration agent with supervision of the canning clubs. Wo men prepared to do this work are wanted now; as the work expands In this and other States as It will surely expand, naturally the demand for demonstrators will Increase. Salaries range from $75 a month up to be yond |100 a month and traveling expenses. To do this work a woman must first have 'been schooled In the technique of her pro fession ;she must have energy and personali ty, the ability to organise girls and women and Interest them In the work. It Is a digni fied. pleasant and Interesting work, more desirable In some respects than teaching, stenography or salesmanship because It af fords greater diversion and permits of greater freedom; and It pays welL From some of the canning clubs In Ala bama consignments of canned vegetables snd fruits have been sold at profitable prices. We have knowledge of one girls’ club tn Ala bama which supplies eggs for dally use at the leading hotel of Birmingham. These girls were shown how to classify, asaembls and pack eggs In approved fashion by a county agent. They are not only lessening the cost of living for themselves, but they are earning extra money and doing a work which Is Interesting to them and useful to society. _ * * Good roads, good people, scientific farming and the government extension service will In time make rural life more attractive and profitable, reduce the number of young peo ple who annually desert the farm and In time correct our most pinching economic til, which Is the price our people must pay to live, educate their children and Insure an old ags freer from cares than they could hope for otherwise. BOUNDING UP THX 8PKXDBB8. Th« fact that Montgomery has not had a automobile accident in ths past month Is undoubtedly duo to a dispensation of Providence. For If any city In ths country has been cursed with automobile drivers, mad for speed, and reckless of human Ufa that city Is Montgomery. And, while we have had no .fatal automobile accident, the number of smaller accidents has * increased at an alarming rata .In .the meanwhile, on many of the most Important and most traveled streets of the city, hut man life Is constantly Jeopardised. All this Is common knowledge. While the people liv ing on the otreetr that lead to th$ South, streets like Perry, Court and Hull, are the greatest sufferers from the pest and danges of wild motor car drivers, they are a con tinuous nuisance and menace In all the suburbs of the city. Automobllea three abreast, have been seen to race for miles through the residential sections of the city. On some of the asphalt ed streets, In the heart of the most thickly settled portions of the city. It Is nothing un usual for a reckless chauffeur driving his car at from forty to sixty miles an hour. The noise of these care, to aay nothing of the menace to human life. Is enough to de mand an energetlo enforcement of the speed laws. When a Chautauqua performance Is con tinually Interrupted, when It has to be suspended every night because automobiles are racing up and down the streets on the outside. It Is time for a city to take stock of Itself as a lawless community. Repeated complaints have been made to the Board of Public Safety and to the Chief of Police by leading cltlsens of Montgomery. The au thorities now propose a vigorous campaign to make the streets of the city safe and to make life endurable for people, who under existing circumstances are living on. paved streets In Montgomery. This vigorous cam paign, The Advertiser ie certain will have the earnest support of the mass of Montgomery oltlsens, who want to see their streets safe for men, women and children. This cam paign will Involve not only arrests, but vigorous prosecutions In the courts; tbe Chief of Police announces that In future cases against automobile speeders will be trans ferred to the Court of Common Pleas, to avoid the leniency formerly shown such of fenders In the meanwhile automobile owners should co-operate heartily with the police authori ties They should curb the practice of chil dren, or boys. In driving cars recklessly and they should see to It personally that their chauffeurs stop the practice of flying through the city streets at the (hlghest speed the cars are capable of making. GEN. WOOD IN THE SOUTH. Major Oanaral Leonard Wood, at hta new post ae commander of the department of the Southeast. cornea Into the moat Important and exacting duttea of any of hie colleagues, with the exception of Pershing, who goes to Prance. General Wood will direct the or ganisation and training of the soldiers at twelve mobilisation camps. He will have more men under his care than any other commander. But General Wood la equal to the task. A newspaper recently alluded to him ae the Kitchener of the American army. Hie genlue for organisation la notable. -Hta capacity as a soldier la likewise notable. Long the best known and moat picturesque figure In the army, the men In hie command will be pleased with hta leadership. General Wood has been warmly and heartily received by the people of the South. Many social courtesies have been extended the newcomer at Charleston, as will be the case at other points which he will visit on his tour of Inspection. If the sending of Wood to the Southeastern Department was done to "take him down a button-hole or two," the General la giving hie new post the character of reward for services well done. He la putting the South eastern department on the map. INDIAN WAR PENSIONS. Under the Indian War Pension bill recent-' ly passed by Con cress, provision Is made for a pension of 120 a month for all soldiers of the regular army and volunteer troops, who served In any of the campaigns against the Indians between ltM and 1S91, having reached the age of <1 years. It also pro vides a pension of *12 a month for widows of such soldiers, regardless of age. "As the new law,” comments The Richmond Journal. "Includes ex-Confederates who were prisoners of war, and who enlisted In the United States army and served In western campaigns. It Is highly Important that Its terms be given wide publicity In the South. The Journal advises that any veteran who is eligible for pension money should state his record; If the widow applies, her hus band’s term of service and name of regiment which must be forwarded to the pension de partment CURBING THE SUBMARINES. Great Britain feels that It has met the crisis of the submarine war and that Its real menace Is now left behind. The submarine will not cause Great Britain to lose the war and It will cause no starva tion In England. This Is the conservative but positive statement of David Lloyd George, the British Premier. The British government has made many and costly errors In the war, but It has never made the error of bragging too much or, of assuming too much confidence. The British government Is given more to understatement than to over-statement. When the Premier an nounces to Parliament, and through Parlia ment to the world, that the submarine menace has been brought within such bounds that It no longer endangers, either the ultimate victory of the allies or the food supply of England, the statement can be accepted at Its face value. More effective blows, the Premier said, had been directed at the submarine within the past three weeks than at any time since the beginning of the war. The May losses will show a notable reduction over the April losses. The war. ha said, would not bo won by aubmarlnca. that much waa certain, and If Oermany expected victory In that Indirect way her hopes would be doomed to disap pointment. The British Premier waa generous enough to say that Amylcan aid was beginning to tell In the submarine war. We are aet able to tell, at this time, what effect the Amer ican navy, together with American Ingenuity, will ultimately have on submarine warfare, but we are bound to realise that the' fleet of torpedo boats, already in European waters, greatly Increases the patrol powers of the British navy. Moreover, the greater help of America Is not being rendered now, but will be rendered In the future. The world expects with calm confidence that the Inventive genius of Amer ica will grapple with the submarine and rob It of its terrors. It Is certain, too, that the huge number of American ships now build ing will constitute an Important factor In offsetting the work of the U-boats. The world does not know what new methods are being used against the sub marines, but It can clearly see that whatever are the new methods, they are having good results. As much as we enjoyed the Russian revo lution, we could enjoy a German revolution even more. •' "• -. American soldiers have gone to the front In France, and we are reminded by French officers that In view of the addition of Amer icans tp the soldiers In the trenches, there will be necessary a readjustment of eating habits. American soldiers require a man’s slse breakfast, but the other two meals are comparatively light. French soldiers require a light breakfast, but a heavier dinner and supper. The French are polite. It has been our observation that American soldiers want three square meals a day. Mr. Lloyd George, In characteristically nool and dispassionate English style, announces that the English people are not going to be starved Into submission by the submarine. The submarine is In better control than "at any time" during the war. Germany is ''mis calculating" terribly If she hopes to win the war with the submarine, he declares. One thing Is certain—Germany cannot win the war without the submarine. Something to marvel at: Americana are offering their services to the United States government free. RECRUITING. When the blood begins to flow, my led. The blood begins to flow, •Tig no time for you to tarry, lad. When the blood begins to flow. • They are fighting out.In Flanders, Underneath the wintry sky. For you and me they are fighting. For you and me they die. They are fighting out in Flanders For the freedom of the man; And for the cause they are dying. As only English can For the liberties of Europe They face the wintry eky; For the only earthly hope. And for that hope they die f For you and me they fight, sir; For you and me they die. For Europe and the nations They front the wintry eky. These men but do their duty As dead In front they He ' They lire In song and story Such men can never die. The blood Is flowing free, my lad The blood la flowing free, 'Tia no time for you to tarry, lad. When the blood Is flowing free. —W. H. TAYLOE. Unlontown, Ala. ( Letters to Editor | PUTTING PEOPLES ON THE LAND. , Prattville. Ala., Mar 18, 191T. Editor The Advertlaer: Tour editorial of Tuesday, May 21, entitled “Put the People on the Land,” la pre eminently right. I am glad to aee you have come out to the aide of Improving and peo pling the old landa in preference to spending money on vast irrigation areas. I have been of this opinion for years. The United States has a fixed number of farmers. When new lands are opened up for allotment, farmers move from one farm to another to mine or exploit the virgin soil. This merely scatters the farmers over a wide area. This means more railroads must be. built, more dirt roads to be built. Had these* same farmers been offered the same Induce ments to remain and develop the settled parts, of the entire yield would have been as large or larger. A compact mass of farmers means good roads, good big schools, telephones and all accessories to a good farming community. A scattering of farm ers means small rural schools and far apart, expensive telephones and every thing ex pensive that adds to life and comfort on the farm. I have often wondered how long would the government continue the policy of scattering the farmers by giving public lands as Inducements. Such a policy builds up railroads at the expense of the farms. If all the farms in the United States were in the eastern half then we would need fewer roads to build and maintain. The money that goes to keep up the roads on the long haul would make better roads and leave a balance to im prove the farms. The goverrfment has been spending vast sums all these years to give the farmers a long haul over rail and dirt roads. A better policy would be to bring neigh-/ borhoods together by getting rid of swamp/ Intervening between good farms that de^ stroys health and sociability to adjacent landa Many of the farms alluded to In your article no doubt have been depopulated on account of some adjacent swamp. Dredging rivers flanked by swamps and irrigating the far distant west. Oh, my! W. A. WADSWORTH. ALABAMA NEGRO REACHES NEW YORK FROM LONDON. New York, May 23, 191V. Editor The Advertiser: I hope I am not forward in again taking the opportunity of thanking you for taking notice of my letter whilst I lived In London. England. I am the colored man who wrote to you from London, England. Well, Mr. Editor, there were thirteen of us who came over In the good ship. Thirteen Is said to be an unlucky number. But we had a safe Journey across the Atlantic. I brought my three children with me. I being sir. a good Southern negro, I could not do otherwise. Our third or fourth day out. it was reported by some of the officers that a submarine was “Rocking Along” I * - -;--—- -— ' . , ,. / sighted in the rear of ua It is said that it was fired on by three other ships, but I am unable to say Just what the results were. 3ur good ship sig-zagged, and if 1 will be pardoned for making, or giving, an expres sion to alang, our ship made her “get away." Many of us the whole trip over slept fully tressed, with even our boots on. And our life preservers always near at hand; Some lays we had life boat drills, and our ship being armed, there was plenty of gun prac tice, so as to give the submarines a warm reception should they appear. I had a lot bf trouble with the Brltsh authorities before 1 was allowed to bring away my ohtldren from England during the war, but I had backers. I went to the U. 8. A. Embassy and succeeded. Now, Mr. Editor, allow me through your paper to warn the colored peo ple of the South not to come North, but to remain South. America, sir. Is the place for the negro, and the South ia our home, and the best place for ua I have not always known thla but I know it to be so now. What a great teacher, sir, experience isl I have been in three contlnenta America, Europe and Africa. I have met negroes in almost everjf walk of life, and I am able to truthfully say the Southern negro Is smarter and more ambitious than any of them. Tea sir, I am glad .to be a Southern negro. So much so that I shall bring my children South as soon as I can. I know now what is good for both them and me. I close, I remain most respectfully youra C. A. MINOR. Care of O. P. O., New York, N. Y. suggestion to naval department. Editor The Advertiser: I do not know how ships are built, but couldn't they fix strong wire netting on each side of a ship to stand off say five or ten feet to stop those torpedoes? The wire might “give" enough not to explode the thing and If it did, would it hurt a ship to explode five feet from it? Well, if that would not do they might pad It with spongo or something soft. It's Just an idea of mine. If it is worth anything they are welcome to It. Respectfully submitted. W. N. MATHEWS. Goshen, Ala. VIVIAM'S ELOftUESCE. University of Virginia, May 17, 1917 To the Editor of The New York Times: The following extract from a letter of my brother, Thomas 1>. Dabney, (who lives at Sevres, France), to his mother gives a vivid account of a wonderful speech made by Vlvlanl before he came to this country. The letter was dated April IS, a few days after the speech was delivered. This Is the extract. "I was present at the grand ceremonial In honor of the United States last week Through our Consul, a Southern man, 1 had seats with the Diplomatic Corps—was In the third row immediately behind the President. The speeches by Hanotaux, of the French Acad emic General Brugere, Adrian Wlthouard, President of the Consul Municipal de Paris, were superb. Then M. Vlvlanl Introduced Mr. Sharp, our Ambassador. You never saw such a scene. The whole public rose to Its feet and cheered for several minutes. Then a beautiful woman In heavy mourning was seen to advance to the stage through the public, with an enormous mass of wonderful roses She said: “ 'M. l'Ambassadeur, au nom de toutes les femmes de France, en reconnaissance a leurs soeurs d'Amerlque, au nom de tant de desulls soulages par elles, au nom de tous nos chers blesses oignes et sauves par elles, au nom de nos petlts orphellns recuelllis par elles, Je vous oflre ces roses de France." "You can't Imagine the Immense emotion that seized and shook the whole assembly. But then (after Sharp’s speech), Vlvlanl turned himself loose. I had never heard a really great orator before. The- others had spoken from notes and • * * had placed the whole occasion on the highest possible plane. Vlvlanl spoke without notes. His speech was a series of wonderful climaxes. The words poured forth In torrents, never a hesi tation. It was mountain high. He hlmply lifted you off the earth. The audience burst Into cheers time and time again without his ever pausing to take breath—higher, higher —all the marvelous Ideal of the French race, all their indignant protest, all \pf their amazed Incapability of understanding hoV people could act as the. Boches do—all that_ and then the Intoxicating certainty of the triumph of the Ideal over the material, the wonderful satisfaction of having America, having weighed the situation, with nothing to galp, with great sufferings and privation to look forward to—America's coming for ward and putting her hand there where her heart had ever been, there where her sense of duty to right, Justice, and humanity made her piece it—all the peat glories of French history, culminating in the Barne—Verdun —everything he touched on, with a male flame that set all your veins tingling. "They say he is the greatest orator in Europe, and that he surpassed himself. It was wonderful, a foretaste of victory—and victory was in the air with England’s won derful work." .' RICHARD HEATH DABNEY. NKEP WE BB TINDERT , Chicago Tribune. Seventy-five residential blocks of Atlanta, O*., art in ashes, because Are broke out! among negro hovels and spread. Bo it la easy to declare. "Serves you right. Tou housed your negroes In tinder-boxes. Here’s the result." Easy, yea. But most unfair. Scan the list of conflagrations—Chicago, Boston, Bal timore, San Francisco, Chelsea, Salem, and the rest. That the Atlanta conflagration started among tinder-boxes built for ne groes was a mere detail. American cities, roughly speaking—and the time has come for rough speaking in more senses than one —are tinder-boxes throughout. We detest the old, tiresome, and generally untrue remark, “They manage better abroad," but when it comes to fire projec tion they certainly do. In Paris, for exam ple. Tou can live months in Paris without seeing the Are department. When at l£ht you catch eight of It, the chance is ten to one that a scaffolding has fallen or a sewer caved in. Fire? Nobody in Paris dreads Are. Nothing is funnier, to a Parisian, than the fear our tourists show. Poor, timorous souls, they Imagine their hotel might take lire! Whereas it can’t nor can much else in Paris. Why? Because walls are of stone. Because parti tions are of atone or brick. Because roofs are of slate or tile. Because floors are of slow-burning oak.* Only one source of dan ger remains. The chimney flue. So Parisians keep boxes of sand on their roofs. If a flue starts blazing, up goes the valet-de-cham bre to shovel down sand. There Is a lesson in all this. So long as we build cities largely of wood,'-Just so long we must expect conflagrations.^ Pine doors, wooden partitions, and shingled roofs invite disaster. To use brick, stone, tile and slate instead of wood Involves a serious outlay, but in the long run It spells economy. As things go now, we are continually rebuild ing cities destroyed piecemeal or wholesale by Are. Indeed, one may say of an American city that the upkeep exceeds the initial cost. ORGANIZING ALABAMA'S RESOURCES. Birmingham News. The Importance of Governor Henderson’s proclamation naming a State Council of De fense for Alabama can best be estimated by the Importance of the National Council of Defense to the Nation. The value of the Na tional Council’s service is past all reckon ing. Level-headed scientists and business men were selected—men thoroughly train ed In their respetcive fields. . The State Councils are In a fashion sub sidiary to the National Council, In that the’ sum of all the State’s resources represents the Nation’s preparedness. Each State is going to be a vital factor in this war. “All must serve.” The best service will follow upon discovery of the tools we have, the strength, the materials, the supplies. Governor Henderson's action was taken in compliance with the President’s appeal to the Governors of all States to make reckoning and swift mobilization of the Nation's re sources. Taken by and large, the Governor’s appointments to this Council seems for tunately made. The personnel of the twelve committees represent some of the best brain and talent of Alabama. The preparedness that must be engineered by this council Is, as the Governor states, "a preparedness that must be based on or ganization and not on a superficial con ception of wants.” It means that being a committeeman of this council Is no sine cure. This preparedness la going to Involve tremendous labor, an Immense assemblage of facts, laborims and thorough Investiga tion. If a suggestion may be permitted here. The News would say that since there Is much to be done In assembling the necessary facts about Alabama's share In preparedness, the councilmen must be ready for work. There must be no slacking.' Governor Henderson would do well to exact prompt acceptance and pledges of service from the committee men. , Chairman Richard M. Hobble, of the Executive Committee. Is a man of Infinite re sources, capable, with rare ability to set the machinery working. Since swift preparation must be made, and since the Council must direct the organization of each county and precinct In the State, It would seem the part l of 'wisdom to call a session of the Council Immediately. The forces cannot do the best work ecatterlngly. If ever teamwork wars essential, it will be imperative In the big job ahead. Face to face talk in conventionf is better than all the circular letters ever printed. * ’ . , , . • . . WEALTH W lfhE SCRApHKAP. New York World. ”, ' ’» • Confronted by the necesslty' bf utilising every possible trafflc facility for war ma-r terlal, the railroads are going to the scrap heap for additional equipment. They are patching up 'discarded locomotives, and with such good results that, according to Presi dent Willard of the Baltimore and Ohio, chairman of the railroad commission of the National Council for Defense, engines St years old have been rebuilt and made “bet ter than when they were new." Worn or wrecked box cars alpo are nojmger burned, but salvaged and reconstructs^ Military necessity is thus dictating a policy of economical railroad operation at variance with old theories. It is proving that ef ficiency may conslet as much in the conser vation of equipment as in Scrapping and destroying it to make room for new. No doubt the railroad acrapheap Js the largest of all American ecrapheaps, and by that token the one fro mwhlch moat material can be salvaged. But the conditions of railroad was(e and extravagance in the name of ef ficiency equally characterize all American in dustry, and the new railroad policy of re clamation is important as an example and a precedent. What the garbage pall Is as an index of household thriftlessness the sorapheap is as a monument to wasteful methods of manu facture. The war will have exerted a bene ficial Influence on national economy if it leads to the recovery of the wealth that is in them. IS THIS AMERICA'S “BEST NATIONAL HYMN I” Viereck’s Weekly. According to James Whitcomb Riley the j poem printed below is "from a literary point i of view • • • the best national anthem we j have.” William Howells, dean of American, letters, is no leas enthusiastic. We have be- j fore us a letter written by Mr. Howells to I Father Tierney, in which the great novelist | speaks of the American flag as "easily the 1 best” anthem. Father Tierney, poet and ! priest and stalwart defender of Just causes, ; forwarded his anthem to us at the suggea- ! tlon of Theodore Roosevelt. Endorsed by i this distinguished triumvirate,.ws take pleas- ! ure in introducing the poem for the first time to the general public: 1 , THE AMERICAN FLAG. (By Father Henry T. Tierney.) I unfurl the fl^g of freedom. In, behold! The ensign of a people, young and bold; j Repeat our banner’s Story, ] Salute the flag of glory, ] Reveal the stars of freedom in each fold. I Every true heart of the nation deep must fee) j The thrilling, patriotic vim and zeal Which has shaped our glorious fate, ii Making each new grateful state In Old Glory’s azure field a living seal! * 5 God has made our land a nation rich and ; great, | He inspired our fathers with a nation's 1: ' ! Their principles were few, I Immortal, simple, true-« Eternal are His laws for man and state. Americans we are, and brave at heart. And every man of us will do his part. t Let our declaration stand. Soul aflame and flag in hand. We will serve in peace and war with wllllna ; heart t I REFRAIJI. ? The Stars and Stripes shall never kiss the J dust, 1 f The sword of justice never sleep in rust, I O, our hearts are royal, true { To our old red, white and blue— * I Love for God and home and country Is out 5 trust "Did your wife scold you when you came home so late last night?*’ b “You don’t know what It is to have a wif'.y who was once a school teacher. She simply *. made me write a hundred times on a slate, I ’I must be at home by 10 o’clock.’"—New,; York Globe. r | "Does prohibition actually prohibit in thil region?” "Does it?” answered Mf. Gap Johnson, oi Rumpus Ridge, Ark. “Why, podner. the frogi have quit hollering anything but ‘Jifg o i grape-juice.’ ”—Kansas City Star.