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The San Saba news. (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, March 01, 1889, Image 2

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Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn84022097/1889-03-01/ed-1/seq-2/

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Tie baseball has a growing compctitot
Jit the American colleges ia the football
T cncral Sherman the
opposes annexa
tion of Canada He says that we have
enough foor land already
The London Lancet discusses at con
siderable length the remedies by which
the habit of coughingin church may be
Tho Cuing Ttffoaeol the Prohibition
papers of Nebraska published at Orir
lia proposes that by common consent
the name of the ProhibUioa party be
chinged to The Progressive patty
Among the members of the present
Congress who will not answer to the roll
call of the next are three of the wealth
iest men in the House Scott of Fcnn
sylranla William Waller Phelps of
Now Jcrsoy and Beriah Wilkins of
The railroad is regarded as a ncisan e
in Persia A short time ago in tint
country a man was run over and killed
by a train The people at once turned
out tore up the track wrecked the cas
and escorted the railroad men over the
The Saltan of Turkey has become
intensely interested in mind reading
With his usual luxurious methods of
stantinople lorsotto time and receive
large salaries for devoting their talents
to his emuscment
The announcement is made that the
American baseball players who have
gono to Australia may make a tour of
Europo before returning to this country
According to theKew York Work it is
T probable that our National game would
make a safe hit en the Continent A
wellcontested game of baseball is fully
S3 exciting and may be as disastrous to
life and limb as the ordinary revolution
in the Balkans
The beauty of the White House for
the next four years will be Mrs Russell
Harrison wife of the Presidentelects
only son She is a young and blooming
blonde wilh magnificant hair and
brilliant eyes Her figure is superb
and she carries herself with a vast
amount of grace and dignity Miss
plunders was her maiden name Russell
Hrxiison her husbicd is a quiet well
dressed man exceedingly proud of his
handsome wife
In perhaps forty schools in different
trtntes saving banks have been estab
lished The purpose of these savings
V hanks is to impress on the minds of the
t pupils the lesson of economy and it is a
lesson that may well be learned to con
nection with their literary studies for it
is a lesson that combines both business
and thrft Wc are told that the sav
ings banks are popular wherever the ex
periment has been tried the pupils en
tering into the movement with earnest
cess and zeal
Many of the labor organizations arc
takingground against unrestricted im
hood thi3 resolution was adopted Re
solved That while we welcome to our
shores all whocome with the honest in
tention of becoming lawful citizens we
condemn tho present system which al
lows the importation of destitute labor
ers and we urge organized labor every
where to endeavor to secure the enact
ment of more stringent immigration
In an experimental observation of 38
boys of all classes of society and an
average health who had been vising to
bacco for periods ranging from two
months to two years 27 showed severe
n ury to the constitution and insuf
iiicicnt growth 32 showed the existence
of irregularity of the hearts action dis
ordered stomachs cough and a craving
foralcohol 13 had intennittency of the
pulse and 1 had consumption After
they had abandoned the use of tobacco
within six months time one half were
free from all their former symptoms and
the remainder had recovered by the end
of the year
The Henry Ward Bcecher monnment
to stand in Prospect Park Brooklyn
will havo a rortialt statue in bronze
about eight fees in height showing the
popular preacher bareheaded wilh his
soft felt hat in his right hand by his side
and his left hanging down The head
is up and turned a little to the right
He wears an overcoat with a cape and a
cravat knotted under a broad falling
shir collar On one side of the nine foot
pedestal of granite will be a bronze
colored woman reaching up to lay a para
leaf at his feet on the other side are two
white children offering flowers in some
what the same way The monument is
toccst 35000
traveler tell < tho follow
orj to
Illustrate too inswasiCility of Maoris to
pain My friend he lays had given
a Maori a pair of boots but they Were
toe short for him For some time he
endeavored to force them on b it this
was impossible so he reized n small
tomahawk hatchetand cut oI his large
tosjta the length of his other too and
tbenjipplied some juice of the axplant
toi the cut to top the bleeding and
pulled on the 1 oat which was not re
moved until the too healed He put on
the other boot after a similar operation
I havo known several instances wh ch
appear to prove than the Maoris are loss
sensible to pain than EuropcaruijfSpr
Elevator races for the best record in
sp ed are popular aJair in Gotham
Among the boys who divide their atten
tion between running an rlevtor nnd
reading a dime novel theio has urown up
a strong rivalry in the matter of quick
time Tbe best record thus far is that
madeby an elevator in a thirteen story
building which made the run frmn bit
tempo top 123 feet in si nnd a hjlf
seconds the second best being uu feet
in eight seconds Tho elevator doc a
S9 A I in merely removing the
8fy oI climbing upstaits without
regard 4o its speed but that is m t
enough for that impatient nnd exaciing
being mu Jt jnust not only do
that b i eleritv M well
co lirocenes
jio and boo V
fe you buy
Along tho sky sAjt aire are still
Across the era tha moonbeans fall
Upon the night strikes sweet tho trill
Of nightingale and whlppoorwill
And down tho valo I hear tho call
To Dancing in tho Barn
Ab mel
8o long ago it seems to be
That Dancing in tho bam
Tho torchlight falls on each young face
As wheeling in tho country dance
Now in now out our shadow chase
About tho dear oldfashioned pi ad
Can aught in life So much entrance
As Dancing in tho Barn
Ah no
For youth is fair but it most go
Like Dancing in tho Barn
Bat ah that night when as of yore
I heard tho haunting old refrain
When love is done it comes no more
And ah my heart Low you were sore
And yet my feet lept time again
With Danciiig in tho Barn
Tco late
Tho hour had struck of life and fate
To Dancing in tho Barn
Ieng after in a crowded street
A poor old blind man feebly playol
Just whtra the town and river meet
My heart stood still my steps delayed
For that old tune which stopped and staid
Was Dancing in tho Barn
And oh I
What tales it told of long ago
That Dancing In tho Barn
Ah poor young love I thought you deadl
And yet I shed these sudden tears
After so many silent years
It seemed a requiem oer your head
4That a ncing ln tho Barn
But deep
In my poor heart that dcth sleep
With Dancing in tho Barn
Mrs De Koran in America
Twentytwo years ago when I had a
sneep ranch at tho intersection of the
Murrumbide and tho lachlan Rivers
New South Wales tha Australian bush
ranger was at his best I was the agent
200000 acres of land and as many sheep
and was at the same time buying
shipping living curiosities to thcVeat
animal dealer at
Hamburg Tho natives
of Australia have been thumped about
by tho English soldiery until they have
no spirit left but in those days a portion
of them were as bad as the Apaches of
the United
Out in tho wilds
they were on the alert for travelers and
pioneer and though tho English al
ways affected to despse them it is a fact
that cvwy bjttle ground on the vast
island has proved them tierce fighters
W hen I finally got settled at tho point
1 havo named 1 had quite an army under
me We had about twenty huts a
stDckado enclosing an acre of ground
several big sheep pens two or three
horse pens a dirt fort surrounded by
palisades and the numberof natives cm
ployed as herders was over fifty Most
of these had their whes and children
with them and as there were five white
men resides myself it will be seen that
needed o be We had gone a full hun
ttred miles beyond civilization and ri ht
into the strongiold of the bushrangers
and thecghting natives Three differ
ent surveying parties sent out by the
Government the last accompanied by
scventyfbe soldiers had been attacked
and routed with severe loss It was ex
pected that I would have trouble and
we arranged for it About thirty of the
natives had previously been employed
in sheep
herding and were used to tire
arms I bought two pieces of artillery
at Sydney and took them along for our
fort ind we were plentifully supplied
with mmkets repeat nr rarhn
infr 1 06 h Lad P cted their
plans to attack hid
us We at that time
only about 20 000 sheep and over haU
the herders could be spired for tho work
tockadeT he DeDS aad erCCtinS he
Our village was erected on a fine pla
teau o about two acres in extent The
ground fell away gradually on all sides
and the nearest scrub
was about a quarl
ter of a mile
from us on the cast A bit
of land which we called the thumb
broke away from tha forest to tho cast
and pushed it way into the prairie
ft1 ° or thumb
h f a mile
long and not over twenty
rod wide and offered
splendid caver to
fwuadrDff Pon us I saw atonco
Vlt he P ° int f attackand
at the end I built
a sheep pen a hundred
SET9 wo hundred icet long
side toward us was ten feet hcE
with shell IpJnders wcre hen l03de < M
and trained upon the pen Wo
dug two rifle pits ou the flanks of our
fort facing this thumb
and a week be
fore the alarm came we had everything
m good shape for
a fight I wa
anxious to have it come It was bound very
to comesooner or later and until wchad
been attacked
good thrashing there could be no such
tning as security
One day when I was almost cursing
th3 natives for their slowness in attack
Ilnew them forbushrancersataglance
TLey had the attire and the demeanor
and were mounted on fine horses and
earned rifles and revolvers One of them
dismounted at the door of my office and
came in He was a fellow about forty
years old stout as an ox and evidently
had plenty of nerve or he would not
have shown himself there at all When
we had passed the time of day he asked
for whisky tossed down a big draught
and then said
Now Captain to bizness Hev yo
come to stayj
I have
How muchar ye willin to pay
for what
Pur bein let alone You was gettin
settled and was all upsot and it wouldnt
her bin manners to call on ye sooner
The boys want to know now what thej
kifr cciint nE
I dont exactly understand you I
Vou dontl I took you fur an old
campaigner This ere land belongs to
us We ar willin to rent it to you for
a fair price If wc make a bargain it
will include ourpurtection
This is Government land or was un
til wc filed our papers and made a fiist
SVas it Dye see any Guvment
round ere anywherea I Any redcoats at
hand to protect ye
Wo can protect ourselves If your
gang and the natives want to livo at
peaoj with mo all right If you want
trouble Ill j ivo you fighting until you
are sick of it
Whew he exclatmed in genuine
astonishment Well if that dont
beat me So you dont propose to pay
us rent
Xot a cent
And you dont want our purtec
No sir
Why man yo must be crazy Thar
ar a dozen or mote of us bushboys and
we kin raise a force of thrco hundred
natives to swoop down on yc By Sun
day yo wont have a sheep nor a hut nor
a man left and Ill have yer cars fur
Come and try it I replied Let
me alone and Ill let you alone but if
you attack mc Ill not rest until the last
of you is under ground
He looked at me as if lie doubted my
sanity ard after a bit helped himself to
another glass of whisky and went out
without a word After a confiib wfth
his companion he returned to tho < Ioor
nd explained
Say Kurnel wc like yer pluck but
ye must come dorm with the rent or
take yer chances It wouldnt do ye
know I If wo let up on you thard be a
doten fellers in ere with their sheepscs
inside of a year and wed hev to cut
sticks or go to tho poor house
Come as soon as youlike I replied
without looking up at him and ho mut
tered a curse and rode off
I called in some of the most intelligent
natives and we were soon agteed that
no attack need be looked for under
three days It would take the bush
rangers that long to stir up tho natives
and get them together When the na
tives were asked how we would bo ap
proached they pointed to the thumb
and criticised my action in erecting the
sheep pen which offered an enemy a
shield of observation No native Aus
tralian will move by night if it can be
avoided and no night attacks are ever
made by tliem We decided that on the
third night the attacking force would
gather on the thumb and be ready to at
tack us at daylight and our plans were
laid accordingly Neither the bush
rangers nor the natives knew that we
had cannon Thoy knew that we had
muskets but they could not say how
hiany We should have to depend entirely
upon ourselves as a troop of soldiers
could not have been sent for and reached
us inside of a week
On the second day after the visit from
the bushranger some of the herders saw
signs of the coming attack The natives
were moving swiftly about in considera
ble numbers and it was further evident
that spies were watching U3 That night
I had the sheep herded between tha
lachlan River and a bluff where ten
men could hold them safely The night
passed quietly Next day the signs
were more numerous and toward sun
down one of my scouts came in with the
information that a force numbering at
least four hundred natives and twenty
white men was coming through the scrub
in the direction of the thumb This was
good news to me The sheep were
brought in and herded as before nnd
when night had fully come I put fifteen
natives in each rifle pit and gathered all
the rest of my people into the fort We
had talked matters over until avery one
know what was expected of him My
natives were promised certain things in
case they fought as I directed and they
were only too anxious for the day to
break and the bail to open At mid
night one of them crept down and found
the big sheep pen crowded full of men
and there was no longer any doubt that
the attack would be made with the dawn
Some of us caught a 1 ttle sleep as the
night wore on but we were all wide
facing each other and it didnt take mo
a minute to make up my mind that the
stranger was my old enemy the bush
ranger Instead of waiting to ambush
me he was coming out for a fair right
I had a sevenshooter carbine and a re
volver and he bad the same I halted
my horse slipped out of tho saddle and
as he came thundering on I shot his
horse in the bea t and he went down
The rider was up like a cat and kneel
ing beide his horse ho fired five shots
at mc as fast as he could pull trigger I
heard tbc ping of every bullet though I
was busily shooting at him His carbine
fouled with the fifth shot and he sprang
up and pulled his revolver I still had
two shots left and I knew I could kill
him He must come nearer to make his
pistol effective and ho was gathering
himself for the run when Providence
stepped in to prevent mc from sheddng
his blood lie was standing < ncar the
hind feet of his horse The dying animal
suddenly drew up both feet and gave a
tremendous kick aud the outlaw was
knocked over and over on tho grass As
he lay perfectly quiet I finally advanced
to find aim dead his whole right side
crushed in by thejpowerful blow I
found about fl u ingold about him
together with three fine watches he had
taken from travelers and it was evident
from the way he had packed things that
he was only waiting to kill me before
leaving for some distant part of the coun1
try He was the last bushranger seen in1
that district which today contains five
or six towns and a while population of
thousands Ifca Tori Sun
Johnny Cake
Take a cup of corn meal
And the meal should ba yellow
Add a cup of wheat flour
For to make the corn mellow
Of sugar a cup white or brown at your
The color is nothing tha pint ix the
And now comes a troublesome thin to
For the rhyme and the reason they trouble
me quite
For after the sujar the flour and the meal
Comes a cup of sour cream but unless you
should steal
From your neighbors I fear you will never
be able
This item to put upon your cooks table
Fcr sure and indeed in all towns I re
Sour cream is as scarce as June tu s in
December °
So here an alternative nicely contrived
Is suggested your mind to relieve
And showiog how you without stealing at
all >
The cround that seems lost may retrieve
Instead of sour cream take oco cup of milk
Sweet milk what a sweet phrase to utter
And to make it croam like put into thaxup
Just three tablespoonfuls of butter
Cream of tartar ono teaspoonful rulejdiet
etic j
How nearly I wrote it down tartar emetic
And so the alternative makes itself ottt
Of soda the half of a teaspoon ful add t
Or else your poor corn caka will go to the
Two ejrgs must be broken without lemf
beat C
Then of salt a teaspoonful your worlTwiU
complete jSL
Twenty minutes r bafcfngnro xSeotiTTo
To the point of perfection this awful cood
Mrs J Webster in Sunshine
A Use for Old Carpets
A good way has been found to utilizo
old carpets Cut them into strips
three quarters of an inch in width sew
them together and send to a carpet
weaver Have him weave this material
in breadths as long as vou wish your rug
to be Tell him to leave five inches in
tho warp at each end for fringe Sew
the breadths together knot the fringe
and tho result will be a very pretty rug
for the living room lltwmcijc
Cheap Cuts of Meat
Many of the socalled cheap cuts of
meat are preferable for instance the
enough awake when the first signs of shoulder ot mutton is much more delicate
daylight came When it was light than the leg andas most persons know
enough for ns to see the pen a mass of the price is low Tho Euglish who of
natives suddenly swarmed around each all cople know what good mutton is
corner of it and made a da h for the always give the leg to the household and
fort We talk about the yells of our In save the shoulder for guests or first
dians but a native Australian can out table However meat is not theinly
yell three of them They swarmed over thiig you must learn to choose Lvery
the plain in a great mob yelling fhrick housewife docs not know that a de
ing mid brandishing their spears and liciousstew may be made of round steak
club and they might have thought us which costs a mere trifle compared with
asleep until they came within pistol shot i the choicest sirloin and porterhouse
Then they were between tho rifle pits steaks First pound the round steak
and a volley was lired which took the then cut it into small pieces and proceed
pluck out of them in a minute We with any meat stew
swept them with a tire in front and back
they went for shelter leaving over forty
dead and wounded on the gra s Not a How to Polish Steel
wfrte man had come witn them but 1 Small steel and iron articles in tha
soon discovered the reason They had hous are very diticult to keep bright
divided themselves into two parties nnd They easily become oxidized and always
had skulked around to attack our rear want continual polishing no waJi
I called in five natives from each rifle and a very simple one is to pickle them
pit and in a few minutes we were pasted First of all plunge the articles into a
to meet all dangers It was ten minutes boiling solution of causticsoda or potash
before the natives could get their cour for a few minutes This removes all the
age up to charge again but when they greasy matter on them Then place them
did come they evidently felt sav in a weak pickle of sulphuric acid mil
age The three bodies assailed us at ing about half a pound of acid to a gal
once and for five minutes it was hot Ion of water 1 et then remain in this
enough for the oldest veteran The pickle for about half anhour This will
bushrangers were surprised to find us loosen the scale Then rinse the articles
inside of stout earth walls and palisades t and afterward dip them by means of a
but they fought well and broke bade perforated stoneware bos ket into a
only when they saw how useless their litrong olutipnjifjjnitric acid Only let
andwnenfhTThargrrCwere killed onkj enTovedr After ra ncidJoran
Sscce Rub one tablespoonful of
butter with two of pulverised sugar in
a bowl place the bowl in a pan of bail
ing water stirring in two tablespoonfuls
never was a victory more
complete of ch erries and canned fruit
The she Is produced a panic which did i aP
jou have opened that is tart
not abate with tho natives for yCa
Not a black rested under twenty miles I Potato Balls One pint of cold
and for the next six months not one was mashed potatoes ono egg beaten light
seen within fifteen m Ics of us A great r0 e potatoes in small round balls
district was actually depopulated and I diP Jn eSS nen bread crumbs fry in a
personally inspected three different set i deep kettle of hot lard have ready
tlements or villages which had been brown paper to absorb grease serve in
abandoned as hastily as if a plague had a napkin
been announced I Rosst Ciiickejj Singe tho chicken
About twe weeks after the battle an on < i epl down the back wipe dry
English tourist camo into the station on i dredge well with salt and pepper cover
foot and badly used up He had been softened butter and dredge both
captured by bushrangers at apointabout sides with tine dry bread crumbs place
twentyfive miles away robbed of horse iJn a pan inside down bake in a hot oven
money and clothing and he came to us forty minutes serve with celery leaves
as naked as the day ho was born The or parsley
leader of the ruffians who despoiled him j Celery Socr Ono pint of milk and
was the chap who paid me a visit before a little over a pint of boiling water rub
the battle He had received a bullet I togetherone tablespoonful of butter and
through the ralf of the leg and panted two of flour stir into boiling milk until
for revenge He spared the tourist in smooth add one teaspoonful of salt and
order to make a messenger of him He one of celery extract use one half a
sent me word that he would have my bunch of celery boiled leaves and all
lire if he had to wait a dozen years for a in the water given in the receipt boil
chanco to take it and I was not egotist one hour
enough to let the warning go unheeded
I felt that I was safe about the grounds
and I never went off them without being
on my guard I was fond of hunting
and often rode long distances aad if
the bushranger was still thirsting for my
life lie would seek it on some of these
occasions Several rnouths went by
however and as I had neither seen nor
heard of him I naturally grew more
careless It was five months I believe
before the hour of peril came
At noon onevery hot day I was riding
across a prairie oi several miles in ex
tent having been out to locate a grazing
ground for flock I within
FitiED Apples axdBacox Coreand
slice round without paring some tart
well flavored apples Cut into thiiij
slices some middlings of excellent bacon
or pork and fry in their own fat almost
to crispness Take out the meat ana
keep hot while you fry the apples in the1
fat left in the pan add a little sugar to
taste Drain and lay upon the slices of
Cheese Stkaws Grate three table
spoonfuls of any kind of cheese add
thrco tablespoonfuls of flour a little red
p pper nnd salt add to dry ingredient s
one tablespoonful of melted buttcroneof
a was a
mile of the scrub when a horseman rodo i and 10 J0k of one egg
thin for cookies
out of it and charged at me We were as cut
in strips five
inches long and one half inch wide Bake
fifteen minutes Serve on plate and
fringed doiy Build the straws up like
a log cabin They are delicious with
Tclcgraphin Without Batteries
Scnor Iicdrahita an electrician of
Bogota has patented u telegraphic in
strument which he claims will revolu
tionize telegraphy as it works without
batteries The Government appointed a
committee of experts to examine into the
merits of the machine In their first re
port they say We proceeded outside
the city and placed the new apparatus in
connection with the tclegnph to tho
city and without a battery we held
communication with the main office
Wc practiced another test and sent mes
sages over a wire six hundred meters
long which was hungon posts without in
sulators and somo portions of which were
allowed to trail along the ground Once
our machine was in order we sent mes
sages over this wire in Spanish French
and English and they were received
without difficulty Tho strength of t o
current received from us wa3 tested and
it showed a density of 400 ohms eTJual
to a distance of seven and a half leagues
and over thi rairge we could haveobm
municated hat our wire stfttcbfd that
In An Oullcinc Stood Dolus Him
a Rank Injustice Ho Saw
Several neilsln on
a Bet Etc Etc
First Kcntuckian Say Colonel
theres a Mormon eder down the road
preachin to a crowd o1 younjj women
ansingin Would I Were a Bird
Second Kcntuckian Well I kin
furnish the feathers Tou git some tar
to stick cm on Philuldphia IlteorJ
Doing Him a Itnuk Injustice
Sumley to Brown Brown I un
derstand that Kobinson referred to mc
yesterday as an old foci I dont think
that sort of thing is rght
Brown Why of course it aint
right Dumley You cant be more than
forty at tho outside Hxar
literally cumbered the eirrmT J from the nitric acidv plunge itiiMP 0JhSrM > Tmonth n < MbaBk
ct thBHbusmws TjponxawuaBiM
Now for the field piece The mob water The articles can then u
had gathered in the big sheep pento re pcred silvered or gilded very easilyd down in their constitution ana
form and we could hear their angry left bright Xail and JJrjre iu make it
iij a permtl
laws tnib win iuuno j
chatter and
the oaths of tha white men I
when I gavo orders to tiro The two re1 7E5Hv Members can be
ports sounded as one and the two shells Recipes
went screaming through the pen It was EsrALorED Tomatoes One half can
the finishing stioke and it is doubtful or one pint of tomatoes a little pepper
if the records of war can show greater salt butter and bread crumbs Bake
execution by two mssiles We found one half hour in a baking dish sprinklo
twentyseven men killed by those shells bread crumbs on top
and the moral effect was greater than j Cottge Socffie One cgbeaten
the presence of a regiment of soldiers separately one scant cupful of sugar
Two of the victims were bushrangers two tablespoonfuls of melted butler one
making seven we had bagged and it heaping cupful of Hour one of water
afterward learned two more had one tablespoonful of baking powder
died of their wounds On thoe killed
we got a Government reward of upward
of iit0 it transpiring that all were old
offenders The battle d d not last over
a quarter of an hour from the first yell
bake ono half hour
He Saw Several
First Pittsburgcr Beci oa an
lie Dug His Own Grave
An Emblematic Sign
kansas trip I hear
Second Fhtsburger Yes just got
First Pittsburgcr Bid you see any
of the numerous train robbers reported
lately from that State
Second Pittsburgcr See any train
robbers I should say I did There
was a peanut boy on every train
PUtstbiiTQ Chronicle
JIecI ilnr on a Bet
Hello Bromley that isnt the fair
that if side
thing I You promised your
lostthe election youd shave off ono
Well havent Ii
Yes but youve shaved off both of
Oh thats all right I lost the other
ono in the same kind of a bet with Bar
ringer Time
Growing Desperate
Matchmaking Mother I tell you
what you do Charles If you could
have it noised about that Mary is to have
10000 for her marriage portion dont
you think her chances would be greatly
improved i
Sensible Father Wouldnt it be
more attractive to follow the example of
the bargain shop and put tho figure at
J99t JJi BosUm Transcript
Not an Auspicious Incident
Please dont forget my boy that you
may be a future general in the army of
tho United States of America said the
old oHicer to his son during a West
Point call
Ill try not to father was the re
ply By the way who was that old
gentleman you spoke to ou the parade
this afternoon
Oh that was Second Lieutenant
Hoggsby retired He graduated a class
ahead of me I believe
And the boy began to think
Coarting on tho Installment Plan
Miss Jellyby And nowthat Ive said
Yes my dear Claude I wish you would
ask papa as once and whilo you are
about it you might say a word to mam
ma and er Aunt Mary has been so
kind you know just mention it to her
and ask if she is willing and then
Undo George might
Claude Pardon me Miss Jellyby
isnt it a little rough on a fellow to make
him secure a wife on the installment
plan Jitdje
A Wrong Diagnosis
Medicine may modify some of your
symptoms my friend said tho doctor
as he wrote a prescription but noth
ing except a change in your habits will
bring permanent relief You dont take
rt tn j
Some heartless monster has been per
petrating a joke it may not be consid
ered a joke at the expense of the
Womans Club otherwise the Mending
Bureau at Fourth and Chestnut streets
On the Chestnut street side of the house
at the entrance to the bureau a large
sign some six feet long has been placed
against the wall On this sign in large
letters tho passerby reads the wod3
Womans Club
Yesterday morning people smiled
when they saw suspended horizontally
directly beneath this sign a halfworn
broom lauittillt Courier
Flossys Inference
Little Flossy was visiting her papas
sister a maiden lady in the country
The child was painfully impressed with
the samencs and primness of every
thing and one day asked
Aunt Maria what makes you have
very thingall alike
Because I like to havo everything
match replied the aunt
Was that what mamma meant when
she told papa that you were trying hard
to make a match with every old widower
in town asked innocent Flossy Dit
luth Parajrapher
Plenty of Weather
Maine Man I tell you down East
beats the world for quick changes of
weather One day last spring I cut ice
all one morning and had to rush out and
plant sun umbrellas over my tomato
vines in the afternoon
editor it makes him sour if ho doesnt
ketchup with the
Xo no that isnt it cither Give it
up Becauso he makes lots of acres
See Acres achers Spoils tho teeth
you know Make3 acres into lots
And then they roso up as ono man and
threw him out of the window Chicago
Xatnros Voices
Burrrrr said the chestnut Tho
cold snap is very snappy this morning
Time for me to leave said tho
weeping willow
1 ts a cold day for me Everybody S
gone and I am forlorn sadly solilo
quized the beech
I feel kinder seedy too said the ap
ple treo Theres a tired feeling in cider
me so to speak
Chestnut I yelled the hemlock
Did you call me asked the first
speaker with a low bough
And then the whole wood resounded
with lofty larity as the pine tree
termed the hilariousncss that ensued
when describing it later to a lady who
had come that way to buy some fir
jVca York Sun
Pound It
Chicago City Editor to reporter I
see that in writing up a suicide you re
fer to the cold and remorseless river
Iteportcr Yes Ialways like to throw
feeling into what I write
City Editor Thats capital but did
you ever seo a river stricken with re
Keporter I dont know that I have
City Editor Well then go and find
one and by the way dont come back
until you do find one
The reporter goes away vTwo days
later he returns J
City Editor nelloa got back havo
Iteportcr Yes
City Editor Well did you find a re
morseful river
Reporter I did
City Editor What river is it
Reporter The Mississippi
City Editor Why remorseful
Reporter Because years ago it de
cided to run by St Iouis
City Editor springing to his feet
Young man take my seat I resign
Arlansaa Trateler
Carving Buttons of Vegetable Ivory
The other day I happened to visit a
small button factory and was greatly
interested in seeing a tailors bone but
ton made just such a one as you would
find on your ulster or a tweed coat
First of all I was introduced to tho raw
material which lay on the floor of a
dark and dingy little workshop in
which a solitary workman was standing
at his bench
There said the proprietor pointing
to what I took to be potatoes there
you fee what we call vegetable ivory It
comes from South America and grows
in clusters of half a dozen nuts That
is the first state of the button We
then went up to the workman who was
cutting up the kernels of the nuts at a
swiftly revolving circular saw an opera
tion requiring great dexterity for a slip
might cost him a finger This is the
first process The kernel is easily ex
tracted the shell in which it is enclosed
being very thin and fragile Although
the kernel is a cut it would take a very
strong pair of jaws to craci it and tho
teeth cannot touch it The littlo white
slabs which are cut out by the saws are
taken to the next department where the
button is really formed in the series ot
lathes through which it is passed The
toolmaker whose office is very import
ant works at one end of the room the
first Hthe cuts out the button with the
desired circuni erence regulated by a
scries of gauges the work being passed
on to others for the rim and so on
Two women were drilling thq four
holes of the buttons TIa i > i a
iheir collegiate
Tired tramp in an exasperated sort
of way There Maam theres your
three bushels of potatoes I promised to
dig if youd give me some lunch and I
dont care if 1 never see a potato again
Im sick of cm
AYoman Well you sit down under
the shade o them gooseberry bushes and
lunch 11 be ready in a few minutes
Tramp Whatre you goin to have
fur lunch Mann
Woman Were gointo havo baked
potatoes Ejpoclt
Two Sides or Their Quarrel
Augustus I wish you would not use
powder Belle
Belle If you ever speak of that
again I shall never forgive you never
Augustus Its too bad you arc
offended overy tima I speak of your
Belle Well and isnt it worth
while quarreling for the sake of making
Augustus Yes but it isnt worth
whila making up for tho sake of quar
reling American
Execution Br Stoning the Earliest
3Ictlio < l or Puntstiinc Crimes
Cruel Punishments Anions tho
Romans and Other Nations
Death by stoning was in all proba
bility the earliest method of punishing
crimes the Jews and other Oriental ca
tions being especially given to this forn
of supreme penalty From the extremely
comprehensive code of capital offenses
which appeared in tho Mosaic code it is
to be concluded that a death by stoning
was a very common occurrence and that
the young men of the congregation
to whom was intrusted the duties of exe
cutoncr must have become quite expert
in their office It is quite possible how
ever that personal retaliation antedated
punishment by the co i munity and that
the eye for eye tooth for toothandlifefor
life doctrine was rigorously carried out
For the Instantaneous dispatch of an of
fender the Jews used tho sword but
stoning continued to bo the set form of
capital punishment up to the time of the
Christian era Then crucifixion took its
place a form of death penalty borrowed
from tho Latin conquerors
Though the Romans were greatly
given to crucifying it can scarcely be
said that they had any one national form
of capital punishment They acted
largely after the Mikados plan of letting
the punishment fit the crime Christians
were burned torn to pieces by beasts
drowned in quagmires and rivers and
vivisected Political offenders on th
other hand were thrown from Tarpeian
Rock This was a lofty and precipitous
promontory on one side of the Capitoline
IlilL Runaway slaves when recaptured
were turned adrift into the deserts or
woods overrun by wild animals or else
bound to a reck and left to starve It
was customary for a while in Rome to
permit capital offenders to select tho
manner by which they would meet death
and be allowed to inflict the penalty
upon themselves This custom also ob
tained in Greece and when Socrates was
condemned to death for spreading dis
belief in the nitional religion he chose
to dc by drinking hemlock
One of the most cruel and unusual of
punishments was that which the Romans
in the latter days of the Republic meted
out to those who murdered cither of their
parents Luke Jwen Pike M A
author of the History of Crime in Eng
land in referring to this punishment
says Not in the amphitheatre not at the
stake not on the cro s was tho parricide
to perish A sack was to be his wind
ing sheet in that he was to be sewn up
alive and > enomous serpents with him
He was to be thrown into the sea if the
sea was near at hand and if cot into a
river so that the heavens might be hid
den from him while still alive and the
earth deny him a grave when dead
Often however in addition to the
vipers there were a do a monkey and
a rooster sewed up in the sack with the
victim who was naked The sack was
usually of leather
The Oriental nations have always been
remarkable for the ingenious cruelty of
their death punishments although it is
doubtful whether they have been more
crncl than the selfstyled highly civil
ized nations of the West Death has
come from slow strangulation from a
rope as was in vogue in China for in
stance and at the same time from the
use of boiling oil which was poured on
the joints after they were dislocated by
mechanical means as in France and
Germany from aying or stripping the
skin ofl the body as was formerly done
in England and from pressure between
planks on the upper of which great
weights were placed a was also in voguo
tWsJidnad jtK5J nani rPtjmpEvsrxnisjhn < l
rthiESS J KK h ma d ingenuitjeWfiaVbecWt
taksjrc3Er > Ja
can 31 rapidity T
Western Man shouldnt wonder I i Mostly the poisoning is purely accidental
remember one day in Kansas when I j From its color the acid is liable to be
went out with a mowing machine at mistaken for beer nnd this mistake is
sunrise and traded it for a snowpojgh favored by the carelessness ordinarily
before night but that wasnt a circum j displayed in storing it in bottles of any
stance to the day I went swimming in i and every kind arbolic acid is now
the Missouri River and got carried
far out by the current that I like to have
drowned I just tell you I never ex
pected to see shore again
Eh How did yo get back
The river frozo over and I skated
back Philadelphia Mecurd
Brought In a New Conundrum
I have got a conundrum said the
visitor timidly sitting down on the cor
tprm goesisfinished
their diplomas moyj the polishing and
futheraliovetlie levelV room ate half a
i c Iixe3 revolving in an
a sort of aristocracy Tllcy
contain the
aamnDtion tUCow being polished
by the actidn Trnime hard powder
which is placed with them in the boxes
There is a secret in every trade nnd the
contents of the mixture with which the
buttons are eventually stained are not
divulged to the world Down below I
was taken into another room in which
there were scores of tins containing
dyes and many buckets holding chem
ical solutions When tho buttons are
ready for receiving the dye they are
placed on a tin tray holding a gross
The dye is then blown on to them by a
spray which causes the liquid to fall
yery naturally The trays are then put
into a gasheated oven and afterward
put on to the cards ready for the market
VaUiTall Gazette
Fate or Old Cars and Engines
In the excursion season when railroads
are pressed for rolling stock they often
cannot wait to order new cars and they
go to the brokers and buy up old hulks
that have had new roofs put on or new
wheels or new upholstering and the
people who ride at reduced rates have
to pit up with little a less comfort Then
agam old cars and engines are often
used in constructing new roads Seme
times when a car has passed through the
hands of the carpenter and painter no
matter how dilapidated it was it is prac
tically new and sells at a corresponding
high price Recently VicePresident
Frank Thompson of the Pennsylvania
Railroad cast off his splendid palace
car when it wa3 growing the worse for
wear The old car men got hold of it
puta new face on it and now it is in the
service on one of the Southern roads as
the Presidents private car The prices
at which these old cars and engines sell
varies of course according to their age
and the amount of repairing that has
been done to them An engine costing
when new from if5000 to 10000 will
go under the hammer when the second
hand man has it for from 1000 up and
corresponding prices rule with cars
Not infrequently the roads that get old
stock pay dearly for it in the end An
engine blows up with little provocation
or a car breaks downs and the roadloses
more in damages than would have pur
chased a new outfit Philadelphia
Be Cautions Willi Carbolic Acid
The number of cases of poisoning by
acid is notably on the increase
and this naturally provokes inquiry as to
the cause and also to the possibility of
control This substance is very rarely
taken with suicidal intent although the
case with which it may be procured and
tho relatively low price might alord
some temptation were it not for the
peculiarly painful results produced by it
so largely used that it is difficult to
suggest any measure likely to prevent
these frequent accidents Careful label
ing is of course one essential but it
would be still better to discard the
employment of old wine or beer bottles
in favor of vessels of any peculiar form
which would direct attention to the
injurious properties of their contents
The value of carbolic acid as an anti
septic is sufficiently well known to
ner of a chair that I think is new render any restrictions upon its sale un
Why is a man who lays out a new sub desirable but something must certainly
division like pickles v Ite done speedily to check the frequency
Because hecccumbersihegrjiund of these fatal accidents Lancet
hazarded tho real estate editor J
No that isnt the > ight answer It was too many Roman punches that
Because suggested the exchange rid the business for Julius Ucsai
or medieval days and among nations
professing to be civilized to administer
torture and death It is true that
Japanese offenders have been executed
by the slow passage of a spear upward
thiough their entrails and that Chinese
criminals have been gradually beheaded
with a bamboo saw bat at tho same
time that most barbarous form of inflict
ing the death the
penalty boiling in a
cauldronwas a European invention To
inflict death by this means sulphur oil
and lead separately were sometimes
used Water however was the agent
generally employed Boiling to death
was first inflicted by statute iu Eng
land in 1531 during the reign of Kin
Henry VIII The first person to suffer
this penalty in that country was John
Rooe cook to the Bishop of Rochester
who poisoned seventeen persons two of
whom died The poison wasadmin stered
in porridge The statute declared that
poisoners should be boiled to death with
out having any advantage of his
clergy Future offenses of this kind
the law stated should be deemed equiv
alent to high treason in enormity The
statute was repealed not long afterward
but not until several other persons met
death m the culdron Though prac
ticed in Fngland it is believed however
that this horror was of Italian origin
Death by the serpents bite was a com
mon form of adminstering capital pun
ishment in the Oriental countries in
ancient days and it is siid the system
has by no means become obsolete yet
Instances are on record in which offend
ers were bound naked in jungles in which
vipers were numerous and left to suffer
a lingering and terrible death from tho
reptile fangs Men and women and
sometimes children were thrown into
caerns infested by venomous snakes to
meet death in ita most frightful form in
the darkness among the bones of hun
dreds of persons whose lives had gone
out in the same placo and by the same
means Many British prisoners it was
told were subjected to like treatment by
the Sepoys during the mutiny about
thirty years ago Even at the present
time it is said malefactors in some
parts of India are thrown into lar e
caijcs filled with serpents Travelers n
Persia tell stories about similar cruelties
being inflicted on criminals in tho
wilder and more barbarous portions of
that country All this may be true yet
it is also true the same form cf punish
ment was onie on a time common in
Norway and that for years France
England and Spain were ablaze with tho
fires that onsumed people at the stake
Persons suspected of being witches
however were the most frequent subl
jeets for this form of punishment Pope
Innocent VIII issued a bull against
witchcraft 1481
in Within the next
hundred years thousands of these people
were burned alive Over 5U0 of them
were burned in Geneva in about one
fourth of trie year 131 Iu the Diocese
of Como 1000 were executed in this way
in 1j > J About 10000 met death by
this method in Lorraine in the fifteen
years ending with 1301 In Wurtburg
between I i7 and 1029 127 were burned
alive In nearly cverv part of Europe
which was at all civilized numerous
deaths by fire for witchcraft occurred in
the fifteenth sixteenth and seventeenth
centuries Those which took place in
Germany alone are estimated at upward
of 100000 The deaths by this method
and for this cause in England also were
well up in the thousands In Massa
chusetts and Pennsylvania tho death
penalty for this offense usually took the
the form of hanging Sou Francisco
Mr Gladstone computes that the
hshitual speakers of English have in
creased from 15000000 to 105000000
during the last 100 years that they will
number 120000000 by theyearllOCand
at that rate of increase seven times in a
century they will include 810000000 of
peonle by the year 2000
I sat in my window high overhead
And heard them say below in tho street
MI suppose you know thatoHJones is deadf1
Th n the speakers passfd and I heard their
Hwdlassiy waiting their onward way
Deail What more could there ba to sayl
But I sat and pondered what it might mean
Thus to be dead when the world went by
Did Jones see farther than we have seen
Was he one with the stars In the watching
sky I
Or down there under the growing grass
Did be hear the feet ot the dayliht pass
Were daytime and nighttime as one to him
And grieving and hoping a tale thai In
A kiss on his lips or a hand on his brow
Could he feel them under tha chnrchyard
As he surely had felt them his whole llfo
Though they passed with his youthtime he
and strong
They called him Old Jones when at last ha
Old Jones he had been for many a year
Yet his faithful memory Time deBeJ
And dwelt in the days so distant and dear
When first he found that love was sweet
And recked not tho speed of Its hurryinic
Does he brood in the long night undsr tha
On the joys and sorrows he used to know
Or far in some wondenul world of God
Where the shining seraphs stand row on
> w
ha 1 like a child at the dalight >
And know that the past was a nights short
Is he dead and a clod there down below
Or dead and wisy than any alive
Which Ah who of us all may know
Or who can say how the dead folk thriTel
But the summer morning is cool and sweett
And I hear the live folk laugh in the street
Louise Chandler Moulton
A skylight The moon
Man overtored The editor
Teamsters do a driving business
Fiighty people are seldom blessed with
pinions of their own
In the constitution of childhood there
is no more popular clause than Santa
The soldiers definition of a kiss A
report at headquarters I Mirror and
The baseball batter will soon giva
way to tho buckwheat batter PdUuury
Chron de
The man who won his wife on the
election calls her Election Bet Sew
York Xcict
Those who skate where the ice is thin
Are always in danger of breaking in
Miticaukee Sentinel
Nurse Can I put baby in the crib
maam Mother No doggie is in
the crib Wait till doggie has had his
nap Tho silent watches of the night aro
well enough but the chap who w shea
to rise early needs an alarmclock
Jiotton Bulletin
No man can serve two masters
I think I heard you say
The sailors on a schooner serve
Tnomaster every day
Mr Brown Whatha3 become of tn
girl you hired Mrs Brown Pvef
sent her off She wasnt satisfied witl
my hiring her so she asked me to higher
her wages
Thirtyfive years ago American boyi
had aspirations to become President ofl
th Tnited States NoTtilw unfItlQn
Si JSi SSSLs U pUjerT
sorted to at one time or other in ancientte2BJoRraeK
Time 3 a m Mrs SmUbTss attired
in deepest black Mr Sm th fenterfugjk
Whatdo Isec In m mourning For
whom for which for who Mrs
Smith I am mourning for the late Mr
Smith TtJBiU
There was a considerate crocodile
Who lay on the bants oi tho River Nile
And he swalowed a fish with a face of woe
While Uis tears ran fast to the stream below
I am mourning said he the Untimely fate
Of the dear little fish that I just now ate I
I got it and it was a1 fine one Thi
woous where I stood were rather opei
nnd the timber was large so I could sei
for a long distance The deer wa
about thirty rods away when he firs
camo in sight and I saw at once that hi
was one of the finest bucks I had ever
laid eyes on Ho would have passed
within one hundred yards of me if I
had let him but when he came up I
fired intending to hit him back of tha
fore shoulder The shot brought him
down but did not kill him as I supposed
it had When I went up to the animal
he gave me a big surprise by staggering
to his feet and attacking mc savagely
1 was taken so suddenly that I could
do nothing to defend myself In lesj
time than it takes to tell it the animal
had given me two or three good cuts
with his sharp hoofs and vas in a fai
way to do me up permanently Cf coursa
the only thing I could do was to grab
the brute by the horns and try to keep
my feet 1 could hear the dog coming
and I made up my mind that if I held m <
own for a short t me I would have his
help Those were business moments you
can bet for that buck was doing his best
to down me and I had to do somo liv cly
dodging as he crowded me aound
among the trees The dog came up and
helped me out of that scrape in good
shape If he had not put in an appear
ance ns he aid I hardly know what tha
result would have been Whcnhecamg
up he fastened his teeth in the bucks
throat This gave me a chance to get
my gun in hand and put in a shot that
settled the buck forgood My first sho
struck hm in the shoulder and did no
reach a vital part The rest of tho part
were so tickled over the capture of th
animal that they wanted to buy mo
pajrof pants and to tell the truth about
Fnrlons Fijht with a Wounded Buck
Talking about lively times with
game said Andrew McKcnna an Ad
irondacks hunter to a New York Tmci
correspondent I think the liveliest
time I have had in five years was with a
bucK that I brought down up on the
Oswegatchie in the month of October
When you want a real lively time just
tackle a wounded buck When you do
that you have got a job on hand that
throws a hugging match between a man
and a bear clean into the shade If I
were to choose between fghting a
wounded and ugly buck or a black bear
I would take the bear every time I have
got several big scars on my body that are
the result of wounds inflicted by that
buck in the early part of list month
and I will never take any chances on a
scrimmage of that kind again The way
it all came about was that a party of fel
lows from down East were up in tho
woods after deer and I was along to help
them get one We had a dog that waa
true blue When you got him started
on a runway and he struck the scent he
was good for all day if the deers wind
held out Well we got our party proper
ly scattered through tho woods for a
hunt one day and I took the dog out to
start thoframe Deer were very plenty
up therefthis year and we soon had ono
up After I had let the dog loose I put
myself inii good place and waited for a
shot The rest of tho fellows in the
party were rather green at deer hunt
ing and none of them managed to get a
shot at the game we were after I had
watched the runway for four long hours
before I was rewarded with a shot then
I e liemWh aU0t iUt
tnighte ° c

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