OCR Interpretation

The Santa Fe weekly gazette. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.T. [i.e. N.M.]) 1851-1854, September 10, 1853, Image 1

Image and text provided by University of New Mexico

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn84022165/1853-09-10/ed-1/seq-1/

What is OCR?

Thumbnail for

I, Í
Santa ft lUcckhj ajcttc
WEEKLY- liiói year, payable invariably in
Ivancei .ingle copie. 12 l- cents. Advertise
mentí, $1 00 per J" ot ten lines for the first
insertion, and Wd- for every subsequent insertion.
. , . Pennsylvania,
New Hampshire.
ntaFe,J-n.l, 1862-
', .. . . 1Y.
I have removed from the "Nolaml House," to
he "Nebraska House," in Independence, Missouri.
The Nebraska House is a large new building, and
tas rei ently been much improved by alterations
and additions. Having taken this house for b term
of years, I intend to make every effort tu proniul
the convenience and comfort of traveller. '1'he
patronage of my friends and the travelling public
is respectfully solicited.
January 1st 1H53-Iy.
f p HE umlerigne.i begs leave to inform his friend!
I and the public goneially, that he is prepared
to .In all kinds of cabinet ami carpenter's work on
the most reasonable terms. Shop, two doors above
the store of Jesu" Lova.
.san.a Fe, May 7, 18o3.-y JAMES H. CLIi'T.
,, NOTICE. . .
THE undersigned, being nbout to leave this
Territory, hereby gives notioe thai LEVI
SP1E0ELBKKG it his only authorized agent,
fur thi settlement of bis business.
Sant Fé, August 18, l0-4t.
BY "lOW JB."
Text. This is buslling world, and man must
bustle to live.
y friends I all is life in the world we inhabit
F i. ever in action is all )
Life everywhere stirring nay t skips like a rah
M, Uj.ou this terraqueous ball.
My stars! what bustle I
Court Lord! what a tui-lel
How tliey hurry and hussle
One another about.
. There's no pause for the wicked,
- tin rest for the sick head
E ther go or be kicked,
Is the lw given out.
The beast and the birds, from the morning so
Until uncle Day-God has set,
A' hither and thither, and all busy-burly
Because thev've a living to get
And so they must snatch it up,
Or root it, or scratch it up, ,
Or plan it, or hatch it up,
The best way they can
Í From atskill to Tabor,
God1 made them to labor
As well as their neighbor
That animal man,
That inimal, man, is the laziest creature
Th I Heaven or Nature e'er made)
The rngua he exhibits in every feature,
And lying, 'twould seem is his trade,
Now, when the Creator .
Had 'done' th' alligator,
i : ( -avs the second relator)
He pronounced the thing good
'Did he say thus of man, sir ''
- You ask ine I'll answer
As well a I can, sir :
Hi would it he could
Than livk by the toil of hi hand he'd much
Hi r live by his wits all alone )
H'd swindle his brother, and rob his own father,
Were he sure it would never be known.
To this precious sonny
What's sweeter lh.in honey?
Why, money, 0 money.
That 'root of all evil I'
But rather than work for't,
The rssca! would lurk fnr't.
Or scrape, bow and smirk for't
j - Oi go to the devil
Yes, gold ii the stuff for which mortal all scrab-
How manir, though, don't budge an inch I
They look for success on the chance of a rabble,
And hope for good luck on a pinch.
' , , , Then, so lack-a-daisy ? ....
, 1 might say half crazy , ,
', All misty and mazv, 1
i ;! '' They lie off at ease ) -.
' , And no trouble borrow, ,. ,.
, Quite sure that to-morrow
' " ' Will bring them no sorrow,
! ' " But something to pleas.
Now, friends. I'd advise you to stir and keep do-
Do something ye gre t and ye small (
Though should it amount to but kissing and woo-
"iff. , - '
Til better thin nothing at all. '
.!!': Keen on, and keep trying . .
., . i , i Sime truth and some tying i
. , Will keep you from dying, .
" ' ''A you all may see,
But should the old Harry ; '
Advise you to marry,
, toni(ier ana tarry,
"' ' ' And so mote it be. i ' '
NeatM) YOUTHS. 1 !'.."! l
Tm. Now, Mr. Sh.kipere, tell me, if you
, .; .. can. , ' .. . , , ,., , , 1
, The difference between a youth and a
'": 1 " young man? ' 1
Myheareis: this question was once asked of
my friend bakipere by a drunken, mahogany
faced, carbuacle-no'ed blacksmith The reply
w, that tlieréexitted the nme difference as be
twttg néiei tnd t coddled pple. W e,
i then, that, in the time of the great bard, youth
: was nothing more nor lesa , than an incipient man.
Though physically juvenile, he was selt-opinion-ally
endowed with all the ripened attribute of
manhood. He scorned to be called boy, though
he proved himself I child by pouting when ad
dressed 'my Isd.' Because his mother's apron
strines were then, as now, composed of gum-
elastic, which stretched so as to allow him to roam
omewhat at random, he foolishly imagined that he
had clipped them asunder with the scissors of in
dependence, and was at liberty to enjoy all the
rights and privileges of the adult. Yet boy will
be boys, in spite of their strongest endeavors to
appear men.
My friends i in these degenerate days of our,
we have no youth among the masculine gender.
They are either babes or men. No sooner has a
lad arrived at the age of sixteen than he begins to
curse, swenr and swagger, like a graduate in the
sckool of profanity and pompousness chews to
barco as a horse eats hay smoke cigars as if hi
reputation were based upon the coinmitmenl or
non-' ommitment of the act-drink rum a though
his character might suffer disparagement if be
didn't indulge according to the habits and customs
of his elders; and try to cultivate whiskers for the
sake of exciting the jealousy of his fellow play
mates. How pronj is the fledgling when he first
dis overs a few nenfeathers itartine from his cal
low chin I He is no longer a child then, but a
man in every sense of the word, nnouiu nil mo
ther ever have the temerity to scold him, he calls
her 'no gentleman ' and if the father nndertake to
chastise hin, he complacently draws his linger
across his unper lip as much as to say, 'If you lay
hold of me, von take the lion by the beard.' Oh !
these modern youth ) they are bright enougn witft
out any extra rubbing : let them alone. All they
want tu become perfect men are, heathenish
whiskers, n standing shirt collar, high-heeled boots,
ind a big pneket-book If Ihey don't shine then
In full meridian splendour, they never will But
wh t looks worse upon the cheeks of a boy than a
pair of precocious whiskers? They resemble to
my mind's eye a paucity of half- red lichens en
circling a sickly fungu. And then as for chewing
tobacco : to see such temple of primal purity,
clean and new from the hand of the Great Archi
tect, bedaubed with the filthiest of the filthy, is
enough to turn the stomach of an ostrich. As te
youth imbibing alcohol, thai double distilled dam
nation to young souls, for .he sake "f being thought
men. I would rather that a son of mine should
saw his legs off, nr venture upon a speculation in
Wall street, than be guilty of such a mind-debasing
an t body-destroying practice Then to heir a
lad, before he is old enough to wrestle with full
grown grasshopper, boldly take the name of God
in vain, and set at defiance the hosts of heaven and
the minions of hell, is Indeed most awful. I don't
mind boy's swearing a little, just a little, accord
trg to what he is allowed by those who are older,
and have a right to swear as they choose. For
instance, he may make nse of such expressions as
'Bv Golly,' 'Bv Gosh ' or 'By the great never
living jumping Moses.' These will all do pretty
well) thev ome near to the mark, but don't
toiii-li. T''r toposa not in the least upon the
profane privileges of grown people. But here in
Gotham, this city of iwearing. gmblirir. swagger
ing, hyporricy, foolishness, foppery, affectation,
and all sorts of sin I see no difference between
boys, yrmntr men, and men of mature years Put
them altogether in a bag'of colossal dimensions,
eive them a good shaking-op. and empty them out
in a he p, and it would puzzle Old Nicholas him
self to tell which is the man and which the boy,
This is a great country, my friends i it grows
with its growth, md the undergrowth groweth
with marvellous rapidity. Heaven only knows
what we shall nrrive at in the end ; but I sincerely
hope, and venture to trust, that we shall all reach
heaven at last. So mole it be.
A Siiabp BrsTNiosa Lktter. A cotctn
porary publishes tlie following specimen
letter from one of a class who think there
is nothing valuable bnt trade in the world.
It purwts to come from a "cuto" mer
chant, who writes in reply to a boyish
epistle from his son at a hoarding-school,
to his master, to send him home for rea
sons which he thus characteristically ex
plains: "Sir My son's of 10th hist came duly
to hand, rind cont's noted. Sorry to
hear he's been stud'g Latin, &c. What's
use ? I never studied any such thing
nothing hut Webster's Sp'g Book, and
Daboll's Arith'k and P'r Richard's
Alm'k; yet got a long well enough
made money; am Hunk Direct'r, Memb.
Chimb. ( 'oiii , &c . fec, &c Latin!
better look into M'Culloch some use in
in that. Learn all about Dr. and Cr.,
ct per ct cnr'cy, exch., bank facil.,
nidV.e, Ac; that's the commodity of true
knowledge the best md'ze for counting
room always in dem'd always availa
ble in market, when y'r Latin and y'r
Greek would't fetch a soomarkee, as my
captain says.
"But to point. My son is now 14 yr's
old am in want of another clerk must
have finished his ed'n hy tlk time, surely:
would have let him stand anothor half
year thourh, bnt for (he Latin and high
rates of tuition at board'g sch'l. , Please
ship him. on hoard Switoure, with in
voice and bill of lad'g., of books, &C,
consigned to Mcrx & Co. N, Y'k. , . i
"P. S.-Send bill, and will remit by
return mail. Stocks rather heavy. Sh'd
he glad to sell yon a lot of damaged Java
at 7 cts. per ft--very cheap, and good
euongh for board'g-sch'l. Please advise."
A Good housewife should not be a per
Bon of one idea, put should be equally fa
miliar with the flour garden, and the
flour ' barrel; ' and though her lesson
should bo to lessen expense, the scent of
a fine rose should not be less valued than
the cent in the till.' She will doiibtless
prefer a yard of shrubbery1 to' a Vftfii 6f
satin!' If her husband is a skilful Bower
of grain, she is eqnally skilful as a sewer
of garments. . lie keeps his. hoes bright'
by nse, she keeps the hose of the whole
awily-flprdej:,,,,,-,!,,,,, ,7!ii ffl
Cnrin' the Shakee. ..( -
"Thar ! there he goes." '
"Who?" 11 ; ",:,!
"Why, don't yon knowtoAof Well
it's that are darn Professor of mesmer
ism; who cuts up all kinds of shines,
and bedizzens the people with his mon
key doin'sau'thegals with his fine-e-fied
fix-up's an' slick "store close." . JHe can
raise the dead, they tell me, jump out of
his hide, play cards with the devil, and
swaller a pair of tongs! " , ,.
"You don't say so?" , . ,
"Yes I do and he can make spip par,
cut a feller's leg oft' with a piece of sun
shine, and cures the measles for a cent a
dozen." 1
"Do tell."
'Certainly 1 But there lie goes agin
see! I say ytow! s'pose you trot
down here amongst this congregation,
and tell us a little of your experience."
In obedienco to this invitation, the
'Prefesser,' along-legged, red-headed fel
ler from the "Sucker Stait," came down
the Court-House steps and mixed in with
"the boys," who looked at him a lew
miuits in silence, for they heard he car
ried 8 or 10 quarts of thunder in his hat.
After a while Tom Soop, the spunki
est one of the bnnch, took off his cap and
spoke ; ' '
"Prefesser," sez he, "I think yure mes
merism's a nico thing darn ef I lon't.
Now, I've got a tooth that wants exca
vatin', and ef you'll get it out without
pullin', I'll give yeu adollar, by thunder,"
"Is it a molar or incisor ? "
"Scissors be derned ! its a buster I
got three prongs an inch long, and the
wav it hums is a caution to hornets."
"Well," sez the Professor, takin' off
his cote, "I can extract it without pullin'.
easy entlemen 1 jest tun me a stone lor
to hiod' it out!
One of the boys picked up a brick
which they said would answer the Bame
purpose but when our magnetic friend
turned about Tom Soop was fast vanish
ing over the fields.
"Ha ! " sez the Professor, "that feller
reminds me of a youngster I cured of fe
ver 'nagnr, only lie don't travel half so
spry." " " '
"Tell us about that," sez the boys.
"I will," sez the Professor. "It was
in Briar Swamp; old Squire Hitchcock
had a son who had catched the 'Shakes'
the wnst fashion so he sed and dun
nothin' bnt dance for sixteen munse!
He'd innip out of his boots out of his
breeches into the fire and one day ho
came cussed near being fried to death 1
Well, the old Squire heerd of my popular
way of cnrin' folks, so he sent for me to
come right off, or else his boy would
shake out all his ribs I I went, and when
I got there I asked the old man to show
me the case. líe sed he wonld. He
then took me up to the garret, and there
was a six-foot youth tied up in a bag,
and his jaws were rattlin' lik a barrel of
clam-shells! He'd shook his teeth all
out of his head, and both fhis knee
pans was missin, The boy stared at me.
"Sez he I'm desperate,
"Sez I I'm aware of that fact, and
I've come to cure yon by the time-savin',
go a-head, double-extracted essence of
biled thunder an litenin'. ,
"Then he looked awful'wild, and his
hair stood up like a pitchfork. ,
"When are you goin' to commence !
sez he. . :
"Direckly, sez I, so be easy till I go
down Btairs after the masheen, and I left,
"Now I had a whoppin' big squirt-gun
it held abont.three quarts and Iwcnt in
to the kitchen and filled it with hot wa
ter. Up stairs I went agin the hull
family a follerin' and the boy begun to
yell. While I'd been gone, he'd got out
ot the bag he was up in, an had crawled
in under the bed. "
"Come out of there, sonny, tez I, at
the same time squirting a dose of hot
water all over him, or you'll get particti
larly steamed, ' m -t
"Well, he did comoont a yellin' like
mad and made a lunge for the door. I
after him (squirt) Oh, Lord! I'm
scalded ? sez he chased him down stairs
(squirt again I) jumped over the fence
run him all over the orchard when he
leaped into a big tree, and , sed he was
vuimi ,,,,, ,. , y.
"When I found my patient was well so
quick, 1 went back to the house to imorm
tlie old man of my success. 1 H thanked
m kindly, gave me a V. and when we
both repaired to the spot, there the boy
sot up in the tree well as ever and sed
At a hot (ht pertaters ! , 1
''! ''It was the wust case of the 'Shakes,'
(laziness) 1 eyer heard on," sed the rrO'
feasor, puttin' on his cote, "but I reckon
I urod him botutiiul, don't you
With the exception of French fashions,
it is questionable whether there is any
thing in this world-more subject to caprice
than the female woman. Weathercocks
may be taught to crow lobsters to dance
cotillions, and three cent liquor to
ehave ihulf but who . ever expects to
meet with a woman that is perfectly con
tented either with her house, sell, or em
bellishments? Like a miser, her love of
''change" is without bounds, and full as
much without reason.
She goes to church, not to Bee what is
new in the way of texts, but what is new
in the way of bonnets; and raises her eyes
to heaven, nol because she is thinking ot
her latter end. but because she can't make
out what that "fright" has got on who
occupies "the left hand corner of the choir.
Docs she get a lmro, it will not be a
week beforo she will be teasing "the
bruto" her husband for a piano. Get a
piano, and a month will scarcely elapso
before she will be so annoyed with its
" eternal ding."that she will havestrong
thoughts of placing a leg of it on the
hano-irons, for the purpose of giving a
tone to the kitchen fire. Among the
ladies whose talent for this sort of varie
ty almost amounts to genius, is the wife
of friend Fantadling. For throe months
previous to the birth ot her first child,
"the gentlmau that pays her bread bill "
was kept on a keen jump, like a frighte
ned kangaroo or a lamp lighter. The
moment the markets were closed, she felt
as if she could eat a beaf steak, while
oysters were no sooner out of season,
than nothing but sellfish, in her opinion,
wonld save her from an untimely grave.
One niht we met the poor devil when
thesnowwas nptohisknees whatdoyou
soppose his lady needed then two water
melons and a pint ol strawberries. Ihe
last time we saw him was in January
last, when he was sitting on the wharf,
trying to catch a fresh shad with an oys
ter tongs; his wife looking upon it as
"sinful to use either a saine or a hook-
To end his miseries, he hung himself
about the middle of April, leaving a
"warning to courderoys" in his left boot.
The most singular part of the story re
mains yet to oe told-
Since the demise of the he Fantadling,
his lady has recovered,her stability, She
cats cold patatoes with a constancy and
relish that even wood-cock could not once
excite while her desires for shell-fish arc
limited to semi monthly visitation of
"six-pence worth ot clams. " i rom this
the reader will perceive that a large por
fion of the caprice in the market is no
thing but selfishness while the best way
to lessen a woman's wants, is to deprive
her of her husband. Wives are as easily
Bpoiled as children, and in nine caBCBOut
of ten, from the same cause, too much
humoring. Wether your matrimonial
vovage therefore is a pleasant one or not,
depends altogether on how you allow your
consort to carry sail. Let us sing! N.
i.JJutchman. , . -
Interesting Statistics.
A gentleman who keeps the run of
facts, figures and babies, has just laid
before "an enquiring world" the follo
wing statistics: The whole number of
languages 8oken in the world amount
to 3,064 in Europe, 836 in Asia; 276 in
Africa, and 1,261 in America. The in
habitants of our globe profess more than
1,000 different religions. The number
ef men is about equal to the number of
women. Ihe averaye ol human lite is
about 83 years, i One quarter part die
previous to the age of 7 years; one half
before reaching 17 years ot age, and
those who pass this age enjoys a felicity
refused to one half the human species.
To every 1000 persons only one reaches
100 years of life; to every 100 only six
reach the age of 06. and not more than
one in five nundred live to 80 years of
ago. , There are on thoearth 1,000,000 000
of inhabitants and of these 333,333,333
die every year, 91 324 every day, 3,710
every hour, 60 every minute or one every
second. These losses are about balanced
by an equal nnmbor of births. The ma
rried. are longer lived than tho single, and
above all, those who observe a sober and
industrious conduct. Tall men live lon
ger than short ones. Women have more
chances of life in their favor previous to
being Í0 years of ago than men have,
but fewer afterwards. The number of
marriages is in proportion of 175 to every
1,000 individuals. Marriages are more
frequent after the equinoxes; that is. da
ring (he months of June and December.
Those born in the spring are generally
more robust than others. ( Births and
deaths are more frequent by night than
by day. The number of men capable of
wording or eaniig anus ib cuicuiaieu ai
one fourth of the population. Soma ?f
these statements are rather singular, nl
yet many of them are susceptibly of act
easy solution, That marriages take placs
more frequently in June and December,
than other mouths of the year, was just !
what we had always suspected was Unit
because they can't help it: while thosa
who conuubialize in December. dr an
doubtless, to guard against tho chilly
piuowa winch duuiiiguisu the trost bitten
months of winter. Tho mntchcit wlii.-li
came off in June, are commonly lovo
matches, and are brought about by green 1
fields, and the continuous intliiwicn f
bobolinks and yellow birds; while tlmae
...i.:,.i, t f t i ' i i .
mum uiA-ii ni ieeeinoer, are orougiir
about, in a greut degree, by mixing plain
mamemaricB with the market value ot
flanuel under-garmeuto.
. Aged Uinliteri. . . .
Your minster is "suiieranniiated. " in
he? Well, call a parish meeting and vote
him a dismission; hint that his useful
ness is gono; that he is giving to repetí. '
tion; that ho puts lug hearers to sleep
Turn him adrift like a blind horse or a
lame house dog. Never mind that ho
has crown crev in vonr service that 1m
! II "en . .
nas smiieu on your mtants at the bap-'
tismal font, giving them lovingly away
in marriage to their heart s chosen; and
wept with you when death darkened your.
door. Never mind that he has laid asido
his pen, and listen many a time and oft,
with coneons grace to your tedious, proy
conversations, when his moments were
:i 1,1 . i .
nneuiu uiibi; never minti mal ne nan
patiently and uncomplainingly accepted
at your hands the smallest pitfanco that
wonld sustain life because "The Master"
whispered in his ear "tarry here till I
tunic. iiever Hiinu uuu I lie wile OI 1118
youth, whom he won from a home of
luxury, is broken down with privatimi
and fatigue, and your thousand untie
essary demands upon her strength, pati
ence and time. Never mind thnt Ins
children, at an early age were ex i M
from the psrsonoge roof, because thera
was not" bread enough and to spurn"
in their father's house. Never mind that
his library consists only of a bible, n
Concordance and a Dictionary; and that
to tho luxury of a religious newspaper,
he has been long years a stranger, Ñu
ver mind that his ward robe would bo
spumed by many a mechanic in our citi
.,..... X' ;.. l .i .i. ..i.
es, never mind thut he lias "risen np
early and sat np late," and tilled tho
ground for earthly "maiina," while his
,.in:a !,,. 11 i.... . i ... ... . ..
kiuiiuus iiituuevi luy in letters tor youi
Never mind all that; call a parish mee-
nng ana vote him "superannuated."
Don't spare him tho startling tear of sen
sibility, or the flush of wounded pride
by delicatoly offering to settle a colleague,
that your aged pastor may rest on hi
staff in grateful, grey-haired independen
ce. No I turn the old patriarch out;
give him time to go to the moss-grown
nliniv,l,.viinl arA t .1...
v.iu.v,ii-jnivj nuu any jtiicwuu Ml llllj lili-
conscious dead, and then give "the right
hand of fellowship "to some beardless,
pedantic, noisv colWe bov. who will snv
yonr sexton tho trouble of pounding thu
puipiicusihions; and who will tell you
and tho Almishtv. in his urAveni nil (1m
nolitical DfiWS of tlin week mvcrau
Smith, in an idrtss recently delivered
in Boston, on Palestine alluded to the
following circumstances. . .', ,r
The Shieks or Arab chief?, ir in th
I L?1 . í I ' .... . . '
uaDii oi otirjing liieir treasures in tin
and of the detert; no matter hat it i,
n American half eagle or a (in box,
anything they wish to preserve lecur-'
they immediately repair to the deint
and deposit it, where none but themselves
tan hope to find it.
When the Doctor visited the Dead se,
he bird Shieks to accompany him as
guides and protectots! he give five dol
lars to each, besides the present a) w ay
ncccesssry at the close of a bargsin;lii
Shieks went immediately out into lh
desert pUce to deposit liieir money. '
Some of these Arabs live to be 123
years old; they continue to bury their
wealth at long at they live; they art re
puted to be wealthy because they have
much wealth buried; increase of riche
make scarce any difference in lUir in.
dulgence, or mode of life. "Tn their old
age they forget wlieie the articles are
deposited, and die without ever leaving
anything for their children1 : ,. ; , s .
It is supposed that no less than a mil
Hon dollar in valuéis thus buried mum
ally! and the time wilt came when ihe
searching for ami recovering tifihis in'J
deu wealth, will ba ti exwiwn and
profitable bnsincss- , ,m ', ,

xml | txt