Putnam patriot. [volume], August 07, 1908, Image 3

About Putnam patriot. [volume] (Putnam, Conn.) 1872-1962

Image provided by: Connecticut State Library, Hartford, CT

                
The
Scrap Book
„ a ... 0e Arranged.
* "f . . ,,j the mistress of the
""'aLv.:.j anJ Jobu t>o4b want a
it t!:r same time: 1 can't spare
*-T ‘J.a. wav Sou can go tomorrow.
Ji;i„ ca:', take the next .lay "
** «ee. ma'am, we was ar
•Wei
,i ne that way. But 1*11
. j, pc. married, and I'm afraid
twain
Thank ye.'
tHE WAT to glory.
_ . . , t,od things await
rt wro earr. not to be great
“■“* j. -. rs or serves the state.
jr faioe in our rough island
_duty was the way to glory.
£,£, walks i. only thirsting
J”'., right and learns to deaden
r*r Z „ ; before his Journey closes
j£",ial dn! the stubborn thistle burnt
re„, pert es which outredden
Twluptuous garden mses
xL .Mice ir '» •* if our ta,r isl»n<J atory
** M’h of duly w ts the wajr to glory
_ ' , ,vfr f owing her commands.
^ with toil of heart and knees and
long gorge to the far light.
M-* upward and prevailed
jj“ And the toppling craga of duty
c‘ s. upon the shining table lands
Xb which our God hinjself is moon and
—Tennyson.
A fair Reiort
A .-entiemnn hiub school teacher was
merely reprimanding one of his pu
pils for not having his algebra lessons
tetter and Mated that before George
Wiabfngt'tn was his age he was com
retett and a' e to take a compass and
do surveying
The pupil re: 'led. “Yes. and before
I* was your ige he was president of
tig Tubed s' ' s"—Judge's Library.
/til In th« Family.
p. Jit;,..*- i: An sell, the president of
P* fairer- ry of Michigan. was In
r ed to 1 r. »r at the Chinese legation
U wssbinst • some years ago.
The ! vtor - it at the right hand of
(be id :j -ter The floor of the dining
(win was waxed and slippery and
there were in nigs. He endeavored to
B(|l-e ba h;s ihair. It slipped and
dignified educator slid under the
table
He arose mu It confused, but not a
Chinese said a word or gave any sign
of having seen the accident. Ten min
im later h.s Chinese host tried to
move back his chair, and he. too, slid
under the table. He got up and re
turned his seal, aud noue of the Chi
nese made a s:gn
Theu at regular intervals every
Chinaman around the table slid out of
b< chair and under the table. The
doctor thought they were making game
of him and protested.
“ily dear sir ” said the host, "we are
paying you the highest compliment we
esa In order that you may not feel
oatarrnssed > ■. r the accident we have
tti'b met witli tli.- same mishap, so we
in* all brothers t gother.”
He Renseiroered.
Several >.•*:: g members of a I’hila
lelpbla family tlull spent the summer
h flu* IV! : in* tins were exchang
ing re!',;n;- . .. , - their trip, when
IBs of the g . - exclaimed:
"Oh. Tnin. .I■ * you remember thal
"be I r*-ii . i;11 '«-r?" related Tom
‘‘s.re! V, ■ an the daj we gol
Ibere It was the swellest dinner I
Her httil in nix iife I was so hungry!"
slippiucoit's
lot All the Time, but—
4 oiaa saw a waiter In a restaurant
a tureen of tomato soup over a
Via* lady's white gown
Hie young .ady. iust* ad of flying lute
tseion. . .-,1 She said it didn’t
-■’ter. She continued to eat and tc
- as th nothing had happened.
This so ii pressed the man that he
Han intro 1: tlon to the young lady
r l1* ! to her at the end of a mouth
r >o and w is h . opted.
s “h* time after the marriage he
"■it "? ti e tomato soup accident
"1 stall never forget It." said the
t." said the man. "was
“Tour
Blrab
"I ret.
flare
»b yoi
she said, "that 1 did
*' at that time, but I
■ ! I. *'e seen the marks ol
■' : iin -::lie jpost that night!”—
Home .lotirtirtl.
sod intent ons.
^«bo lingers was station master at
wD»r-Atigus. on i he Caiedoulan rail
*f He was a pious man. John was
aviEi'er of t|le iooa| Burns society
M intended the annual dinner. He
among the "wee stua' ’oors."
himself with difficulty and
down on his knees beside the bed
j*l*f*titij muttering.
biis the matter. John?" asked
^better half Are ye no feeitn'
'm fe*,,n’ a' rlcht, but A’ canna
* damned wlrd o’ ma prayers."
No Eulogy.
, ,Wltte<1 l,y comrades for his
to wia a laudatory sendoff in
• Vk . p*l>,’r9- Ueneral Miles
r* blowing story:
rarir days of the west an Itin
,, P^oher stopping for refresh
, ^ ®t the pioneer borne of
11 Parishioners, was served.
p*otber things, with apple pie It
t ' gL,xl pl*- Th<! crust was
s,jur, but the encomiums
^ T clergyman heai-ed ui>ou It
jJ. , "^he good wife knew that
^ *.id bad luck with the baking.
t .was Ip reality an excellent
d«-,ortr!ned that the next
tat pteai :er came her way he
J sa * a pi, ;bat was faultless.
** ' r it he was to return,
e r. ““ "be set %K‘fore bloi hd
, '* ' s the real thing lie
1 * r astonishment, vouch
5 " 'll - if eont meEMla tion
” than the housewife
exclaimed. “when
•named of. but you
•■ *aj iu it* favor. I
r,” replied the preach
served me a fi w days
need of praise, and
in that directloo, but
ivijuir*? any «*uh>
>iMif tit-art, not
a st*t of dia
"Why should that
..
Because you wil
v.m win now have to spend
of money when you can so
at make yon weep?”
such a lot
ill afford It."
Courtship In the Cumberland*.
Ar> I sut on the dv»orstep smoking
with a Cumberland mountaineer one
evening, writes a traveler, a young
man shout two and twenty came out
of the woods and slowly approached
us. He was barefooted and wore only
shirt and trousers. The mountaineer
was telling me about how he was kick
ed by a mule, but he broke off to aa
lute:
"Howdy. Abe! What yo’ all want
around yereT'
“Him got aunthln to say." replied the
young man as he almost turned his
back on us
"Then shoot 'er off "
“Him's a itranger." .S'd Abe as he
Jerktvi his head toward me.
"That don’t count. Wanter borry tbs
mewl?”
"Noop."
“Wauter borry the gun?"
"Noap "
"Say. Abe, mebbe yo’un ar1 hard up
and want the loan of a dollar or some
bacon or meal?"
"Noap "
"Then what on airtb do yo’ want?"
"Wanter marry Linda.”
“Wanter marry I.imla, eh? Hev yo’
coted her?"
"Yep."
"Hev yo’ axed her?"
"Yep."
“Then why In thunder don't yo' mar
ry her? And. stranger. that mewl he
Jess Whirled on me and kicked with
l*oth feet and lifted me clean over the
brush feuce afore I knowed what was
up."'
How to Live Lonq
Worry less, work more; ride less,
walk more: drink leas, breathe more;
eat less, chew more; preach less, prac
tice more.
He Knew.
"1 want some collars for my has
hand." said a lady ia a department
store, “hut I am afraid 1 have forgotten
the size."
“Thirteen and a half, ma'am?” sug
Rested the clerk
“That's it! How on earth did you
know ?”
“Gentlemen who let their wives buy
their collars for 'em are almost always
about that size, ma'am.”—Everybody's.
The Making of a Journalist.
When Joseph B McCullagh was edi
tor of the St. Louis Glola- Democrat lie
was annoyed by a memler of ttie stalT
who was continually late. But the
younR man always had an excuse—he
overslept, they failed to call him. the
cars were blocked, etc.
Finally McCullagh issued an order
that no lie re excuses would l*e accept
ed and that unless the young man
came In on time he was to tie dis
chained.
On the very next day the loiterer was
tardy again hy forty-live minutes, lie
was scut to Mr McCullagh.
"Well." said McCullagh. "you know
what's going to iu ppen to you.”
"I suppose so. hut I assure you it
w isn't lay f:iuit."
“You’ve put in about every possible
excuse, hut liefore I lire you 1 would
like to know, just for curiosity, what
your excuse is."
"It was this way I Rot up early, de- i
termined to get to the office in time I
went Into a negro burlier shop to be
shaved When the barber was half
through u band came along, and he
couldn't resist the Impulse to follow It
It was almost an hour before he came
hack, and I had to wait for him "
"Young mnu." s; id McCullagh. chuc
kling. “I’ll give you another chance. I
want you to w rite fiction for the Sun
day paper."
And Everybody Laughed.
The wife of an army officer who has
been stationed in Culm recently re
turned to Washington and was at
luncheon at the Whitt House She
was enthusiastic about the Pearl of
the Antilles and toid many picturesque
Cories of her sojourn there In which
tile president was deeply Interested
“Oh. Mr. President, were you ever In
Cuba ? You certainly should go there!"
she exclaimed
And she wondered why everybody
laughed.
Very Much In View.
"Y’ou were at Bar Harbor. I believe.
In the summer?" asked the society wo
man of the actress.
“Yes.” said the actress.
“And did you see much of my daugh
ter there?"
• Rather: She wore a bathing suit In
the morning, riding bloomers in the aft
ernoon and low neck at night.”
Th* Request Grsntsd.
He was standing on a corner In the
(hopping district of New York waiting
for a car when a woman, handsomely
gowned and evidently a strauger. ap
proachedniim and said hesitatingly:
“! wish to go to John Wamunaker's "
Instantly he replied In a tone of in
dulgcnt seriousness:
“Very well, you can go this time, but
don't ever, ever ask me again.
WASTED AFFECTION
Talk not of wasted affection Affection
never wa* wa.ted
If it enrich not the heart of another It*
water*, returning
Back to their spring, like the rain ahaI.
till them fui! of refr.ah.-n >nt
That which the fountain f .* f rtn n
turn* again to me fount u
. —Longfellow.
Doing H*s Best.
Xv.-o attorney* of Hurt; ih*
warm friends for htiwi ned t
uwH In a «»*« r!ie
i of mogrilticeut pbj
feet four and buBt to
he opposme <
oitier was a '
ainue niastlt s
JIH
lu the eotit-Mf I>f ivs *rm.m ^ ^
Eark that arotiwn! the ■ril‘
i, .--ary A U» .< Bl 6»*
ii-S at his coattths • '
was liatonwbed to we ' ' '
ivSidi} gesticulating *ad dam. » :-r ■ ■
-What on earth are you try mg to o
/" he esked. , ...
• By Ga« J. »*!», I'« &fhtius. *»»->•
Every tody's.
The OtSer Joshua
Im a soatbm ftstent l cowl an eM
O'! r^J m.iL *;,* ou trial, charge*) with
ruauing au Illicit still.
Wti .t is your name, sir?" asked the
uistiict attorney
”J *>h Hi ils. >ah.**
-Are you tl*» Joshua that made the
•on stand si •;•;••
N a ‘ !l I * d* Joshua dat made
de moon abihe."
H« Announced Hi* Intention*.
A >n.,; g man an,] hi' ladylove at
tend e 1 i protracted meeting which wat
In'iiis held ill the village church Ar
ri\ iug late, they found ti*. church filled,
hut * gentleman gave the lady hi'
seat, while the young uiau was u-itiered
to a seat in another part of the build
icg
The service gre w warm and impress
ive
^ ill those who want our praver*
please stand up?" said the preacher
At this Juncture the young man
thought it was getting late and he
would get his sweetheart and go home,
hut not Just knowing where she sat
he rose to his feet and looked over the
audience.
The minister, mistaking his Inten
tlons. a«ked. "Young man. are yor
seeking salvation?"
"No | am looking for Sal Jackson!*
—Ladies Home Journal.
Corrected if Not Charged.
Some years ag, u freshman at Part
mouth college called up'Hj one of tin
profes'ors and askod for medical ad
rice Having received it. he offered tin
usual t-e. but it was refused with the
e\p nation that students were nevet
charged
"till. 1 seo. It would l« too much
like dog ,-at dog "
‘ I’ ’g eat puppydryly corrected tin
professor.
An Easy On«.
I'.n S, iiator 8pooner tells of « niw
ttinl in a \\ iscottsiu court jii which,
durfug the course of the cross exauitua
tion of mi ,*\ i ptionall.r youthful look
iu,r pliy sii'inn. the opieisiug counsel wan
'm! to utter sou e rather sarcastic re
marks as to the probability that so
Jo'irg :l doctor should thoroughly tin
lierstiUoi his business
“Are you." asked counsel, "acquaiut
eil w i !i i!ie symptoms of concussion o!
the brain?"
"I a ;n "
" I lieu let us take a eotnuvte ease
If lav- learned friend, conus*-! for the
defense, and myself were to bung out
heads together, should We get eoueus
sion of the brain?"
" 1 lie probabilities are that coil use
for the defense would!"
They Were Quits.
A city fellow while hunting went out
into tile country one day ami lost his
way, and as lie was standing by n
crossroad he saw a farmer a little
way off lie walked over to the farm
er and said, “Say, Pat, which road
leads to the station?” "How do you
know uiy uame N Pat?" asked the
farmer. "1 guessed it," said the fui
low "Well,’ replied the farmer, “then
guess tile way to the station.”—Judge':
! Library
Inference*.
When a man fails to keep an appoint
me; • :er that you arc seeking tin
favor, not he
Whi n you hear an \mer ■ an latHins
the institutions and customs of Euro **
t lid spi king slighting a of tin* ('nil*
State-, infer that lie will never b
president
Wlien you hear a riiiin "d aring'' am
"dariinging" bis wife in public, i.ife,
that he "damns" her at home
When a woman prattles much abo-i
female rights, infer that she doesn’t
understand the meaning of household
duties
When you hear a spinster gushing
over the many offers of marriage she
luts rejected, infer that site will snap
at the first fellow who comes along.
Winn a crttle is unjustly severe in
condemning a literary production, infer
that it 1ms wounded his pride, vanity
or seif interest.
When a magazine returns a voluntary
contribution, infer that the editor knows
what he wants and you don’t.
When an acipiaiuiaiice invites you to
take a drink, infer that lie expects y ou
to tieat back.
Wliei* it Is pud about the clubs that
y mi ire the most p>; ulnr poker player,
it,:. r that you are 1 ••mg uii the m nicy.
When a man Matters you. Infer that
he takes you for a fool who is easily
» orked.
When an acquaintance vvhi-pers soft
Iy in your ear some dark secret, infer
that he has spread it all over town.
When you lose your job. Infer that It
re .Hires a search n trrant to find s
friend. —New York Press.
Hi* "Cbarsctei."
There is a story of a Scotch gentle
man who had to dismiss his gardener
for dishonesty Kor the sake of the
mail’s wife and family, however, he
gave him a "character" and framed tt
la this way. ”1 hereby certify that A
B. has lieeti my gardener for over two
years and that during that time he got
more out of the garden than any tuan
I ever employed.”—Ladles' Home Jour
nal.
The Governor *nd Hi* Sand.
Ex-President Cleveland tells an ei
perlence be UaJ wheu governor of N»*
Tort
There was a public meeting at one of
the theaters to which the governor and
hU staff were Invited. The staff put
on their moat gorgeous uniforms. There
were fifteen or ststeen of them, and
they were respleodeut In gold lace and
cord.
When the party reached the theater
entrance they found so many people
there that Somebody suggested they
should go sround and enter by the
8?;ij£‘ door.
They encountered a stolid stage door
keeper, who had been at bia post
for years and was used to the wiles of
,, . , who try to get behind the
aceiies.
•■Cjii't get in here." he an id gruffly.
*T- t I am the g .vernor."
All right, gov- j
il l at the gundy
I t. if 1m .i‘i Kil USt
~:ot>s Itching Instantly. Cure* pile* i
ce/eins -a t rheum, tetter, itch, hive* ]
berpe*. ^calue*-"Itosri * tiintmenl. At :
[ drug storanje. j
ALCOHOL J PER CENT
AVtfrtabtr ftrpmtfKm Sr As
simitotrtilrRwfaUR^
ttngftr SmwjaolIVM-ts i
ntwrtfs DignlfcmjCkmtt
ness and RntXomausMMr
OptimcMarplw* nurMmL
Not Narcotic.
Aperffd RrnWv rorCiMffr
hon. Sour Stomach. nUrrtea
Worms famiriMous .fhrnsA
ness «d Loss of Slup.
ftcSin* Sipwrarr C
&0S&.
NEW YORK.
.-\(h months old
JJ Doses -J5C1 *TS,
MSTOIIA
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have
Always Bought
Bears the
Signature
of
Use
For Over
Thirty Years
CASTORIA
Exact Copy of Wrapper.
WANTED SUMMER BOARD
Bv thousands of Brooklyn people. Cau von take a few ’ If m>. list your
house Hi the BROOKLYN DAILY EAGLE FUFF. INFORMATION
BUREAU, for which purpose a printed blank is provided. The service
of the INFORMATION BUREAU
Will Cost You Nothing
The Brooklyn Eagle is the best advertising medium in the world. It
carries more resort advert isinents |tl:an anv New York paper. It stands
PRE-EMINENTLY at the head.
An ADVERTISMENT in the Eagle costs little, but brings large
results, because the EAGLE INFORMATION BUREAU is constantly
helping it. Write for listing blank and Advertising Bate (’aid, Address
Infornatioii Bureau Broaklyn Daily Eagle, Brookyn N.Y.
Mention the paper in which you see this advertisment.
Worcester Buckeye
Mowing Machines
Ccythes, Snaths, Rakes
and Forks.
Sprayers, Various Kinds.
Paris Green, Bug Death
and Arsenate oi Lead.
TheCyphers Incubators
and Brooders
Sharpies Cream Separator
(NONE BETTER)
American Steel Wire Fencing
fjif-GET OUR PRICES
'This Stove
In Your Your Kilrhen Will
Save Time Work andMoney.
Putnam Light s Power Co.
Removed Over Cray's Market.
TORINO TQ
sld M«im,
The Indian is Chief
OK
Rides as easy as an automobile,
plenty of pow r. always ready.
AfK THE NAN WHO RIDES ONE ?
INDIA Nr VOT<X ' V< ’ !,KH
Art* ark now to h* tla- *tatol<m1 of t low i vrll- . iiMiml inotoi r\r!iat« ord dh»
ti!ru*«*tt‘sl «**port » Tht " I« r of»I in * •' iruh 'lv Wl’jf, rot «i(tti|'tU«n tt'wfu
i tl on tlu* track for th*» t*a*t m-wh unr» prove thr*r ktaU-tncrt*.
• >111 1908 m»\> .»n exhibition at the
Vulotuoldh Miow, Mi«■!•«»*»i< •» K u i }«) t ii n,
Ituulofctnu Av. , |i <1* rol ThniUg
I ('JtKili that W<‘ hor Hi uiulH U.«lil uu» I v| It*
utiou of itijH't iurtl> .
Springfield, Mass
J. || TITKS, .IH, Aitni, fat null)
TWO SECOND HAND WOTOR CYCLES FOR SALE
Two New 1907 Indian Molar Cycles foi saleehcap.
STATIONERY
Our line of stationery contains supplies for the
business man, the professional man, the student,
and the lady. In buying for this department we al
ways have in mind the store, the office, the school,
and the home. We make our specialty of the l>est
grades and latest designs, but have in stock the
cheaper grades- Blank books, pens, pencils, inks.
School Supplies for a
Song!
Vacation time has come to a close, and boys
and girls will again resume their studies. They
need lots of little utensils and we have nearly every
sort of helps required, and at prices so low as will
certainly astonish all comers.
Edward G. W right,
Central Block, Putnam
Call for Sample at the Patriot