Putnam patriot. [volume], September 11, 1908, Image 3

About Putnam patriot. [volume] (Putnam, Conn.) 1872-1962

Image provided by: Connecticut State Library, Hartford, CT

                
The
Scrap Book
.1 sisters.” teiran the old
-j . l net choose any imrtie
^Tw'rt (j montins, but shall preach
__ 1 open the book. and. no
» • '• I shall find the wrath
9 to c o upon the wicked, who
fll; off when they hare shuf
0g this mortal coil. It is now
tad”—
g*e the parson was interrupted by
jfjcon who had been asleep and.
* w the « Tils ‘-open, cut and shuf
forg"t himself and cried out: "It's
,,£!* What did you open on?”
?Tfc. tarjinse of the good man in the
‘ t lt>-it. but the deacon col
when the reply came. “It is
«n Kings-”
HOTV pro TOL- PTE*
jUj you tick's that trouble that came
vonr ■* ' V
^ a res- ite heart and cheerful
. y0;,r face from the light of day
flfo a cran n soul and,fearful?
j trouble 3 a ton or a trouble's an
ounce
(W , trout*-e is what you make It.
*rflt isn t ihe fact that you’re hurt that
Bo/omV'h " d!d >'ou ,ak* lt?
yes are b n to earth’ Well. well.
what si '1 ’
come up » a smiling face.
I*« nothin-’ - st you to fall down flat.
But to He ' re—that's disgrace
<n» hari r y ■ *j re thrown, why. the high
er ecu bounce.
Benroul ; your blackened eye.
g 101-t !;;e fact that you re licked that
counts
Ui r.0w d;? you fight and why?
^ thoueh > ■■»u be done to the death,
what then °
If you batf I the best you could.
If ; play?-5 v ur part in the world of
men.
the cr/ic will call It good.
Lh a crawl or comes with
• s slow or spry,
t that you re dead that
Detth com*
ap,v;r
Ai'A. * '*
It isn't n •
counts
did you die?
Hu Last Joke.
•You say you would llkp more ex
s ! (he death watch to the
c.ndeiuut-i . an. "What sort of ex
tr. «e would you like?”
-I should ; :i to skip the ro|>e,” re
fill the pri- ner with a grin.
He Band.
A Halifax weaver was going to get
carried He went to the clergyman
ami said. "Aw've corned a-tellin' you
as Aw'in genin' wed.”
Tae parsed smiled and remarked,
-You mean you've come to give uotice
(or (be banns."
“Nay. that I haven’t,” said the bud
ding benedict "We're noun havin'
env hands, we re on'y havin' a concer
tin* after tt a."
Too Many Improvements.
An old German woman became III
aid was taken liy her busbaud to a
bspiial for treatment. The first day
sii-was there, when her husband called
t" .tnjuire about her. the doctor said
sir n.is Improving On the second day
b- was ag.i: told she was improving,
aril on the third and fourth days the
ao -anee was the same. This was
King to the old German,
kt when called on the fifth day
be mis tn'd that his wife was dead in
bis grief lie -might his favorite saloon
i drown lbs sorrow. “Vat’s de mat
ter';" a-lod the sympathetic bartender,
ce’ieing lit- customer's despondent coil
0.'oil "A li! My vife iss dead." re
f led the ti'-rman. "So? Vat did she
ifie of?" asked the bartender "Iin
fryvemenls,” replied the bereaved bus
band, calling for another glass of beer
Reilly Sick.
John w. re you really visiting a
friend a<t sight?"
"Sure "
“Ami was he really sick?"
“You let he was. He never won a
Recipe For Oratory.
A n at the end of a bril
lam s',-1 a was congratulated on his
or;-/, try.
""’hat - vmir recipe for good ora
tir.a rter asked.
"I .it 1 oratory comes natural,”
'' ■'’h' y "There is. though, one
r" e old Jacob Walmsby's, but
it c hard satisfactory.”
' i: i . is to be a public speyker.
'' ' Job in Ills Yorkshire dia
^"t w... |>,( ‘Aml thu tbeaks Awm
!l"" ' ! . put tha up to a wrinkle
twi it? ha's right. ! awm. Now.
^'i> tha' \\ hen tha rises to meek thy
•teydi. hit t.iable and opjieu thy mawtU.
If Bowt conies, tak’ a sup o’ water an'
fc-t taable again. Then oppen thy
Jaawth w .Jer than nfoor. Then, if
® "f comes. ta' thysen off and leave
fablic spec kin’ to such as me.’”
*•»->» Blundering Rtason.
®“*ts. birds and insects, even to the
ttisatest and meanest of their kind.
** *hh unerring providence of In
*nct; man the while, who possesses
* h ?her fa-nlty. abuses It and there
8°cs ‘ hindering on. They, by
l-rir unectisekm* and unhesitating
*Miene«- the laws of nature, fulfill
“ad i.f their existence: he. In will
*ui aeglc-; ,)f the laws of God. loses
*Si! of the end of his.—Robert
*wliey
* Gtnttt Hint.
"K^n i was running a room of my
**r sa:'i a famous billiard player,
clu!k disappeared at a treruen
raio. and I said to my belpef:
'Keep
I'u
l ln-rrer eye on the chalk, Jim.
u ’noire.1
’ t:; the gents wot pockets the
1 said, "but they're regular
r ->' ..sc- - I guess you wouldn't want
_ ! J 'em. would you?*
no.’ said 1, '1 wouldn't. V
j ' ' e them a gentle hint, though
y ■ plomacy.'
J- i und out later, used his
it kiabt. He walked up
iv Inst patrons, who bud
■ J a piece of chalk, ai d he
' i ' e in the milk business, ain't
to,,
m}
^ hyf* the patron istfd.
- 'it so/ IUGttd Jiiu, 'fro.fl thr
kiialk you carry away.
^terprlK, and lie ioid esc
it if you wanted a bucket of
' ami then you cou*d have
welcome ’ **
A Cruel Petition.
The little gir: was T,„
.nit day* ainl ,;i ijj,.
raiirstorw petit**i-h m
fine weather When
ii. J. the «.in s'* ,jie l • ■
tn-rame |BW;a« am. u.
ber grandmother. wh
dear, why ran t you ,,s
it may b*. warmer tom*
aia a rheumatism n
a heavy
jyer for
*ar
>1 ber prt. .. ,|
» said. “Weil,
».T '"h.gbt that
rrow. SO grand
better ?”
“ VII right; I win." Was the eU.,-i
response, and that night as she km
-d.e said. "Oh. I.ord. p>as« make H h„
for grandma.”
No* a Shoe Horn.
After a di;> in the oeean at a fash
ionable resort a lady mevY.|upanied hr
her little dog entered a hath house to
dn*ss. After a bit the dog came run
nitig out of the hath house with a
tmin-h of curly golden hair in its mouth.
Ft tore up and down the long aisle
worrying that glittering bunch of curls,
shaking It and growling at it as if It
had t>een a cat—a funny sight to see.
There was naturally a good deal of
laughter. Then the lady was heard
calling the attendant In a distressed
voice.
"Oh.” she said, “would you please
fetch my little dog back to me? He
has run off with something of mine,
and I can’t get my shoes on without
it."
The attendant was one of those smart
chaps. He yelled back at the lady very
loud:
d es ni. ver little dog’s out hen*, all
right, havin' n spree with somethin' or
other. Imt from the look of it l wouldn’t
say it was a shoe horn."
Etiquette and Ethic*.
At a banquet given nt the house of
tho prime minister of one of the
Balkan states, where commercial moral
it.v is still in its Infancy, a distinguished
diplomat eom|>liilned to bis host that
the minister of justice, next to whom
he was sitting, had taken his watch
The prime minister said:
"Ah. he shouldn't have done that I
will get it hack for you." Sura
enough, toward the end of the even
lug the watch was returned to its
owner. "And what did bo say7’ asked
the guest. "Sh ii! lie does not know
I have got it hack," said the prime
minister.
Perserverance Is Fearlrsn
But little is accomplished because
hut little is vigorously attempted, and
hut little Is attempted because dlffi
cutties are magnified. A timorously
cautious spirit, so far front acting with
resolution, will never think itself In
possession of the preliminaries for act
ing at all. IVrhaps perseverance 1ms
been tile radical principle of every
truly great character.-John Foster.
Then Charlie Knew.
'l imy were walking under a very lit
tie umbrella He seemed to be nervous,
and she finally remarked very softly
and with a note of Interrogation:
"t'lmrile. I'll carry the umbrella. If
you will let me?"
"Oh. no! I can carry It."
"Yes, Charlie: luit. you see. your arm
takes tip so much room that one side
if me is out in the wet.”
"I know, Fanny, but what will I do
with my arm? Won't it tie in the way
ill tli-' same'"
"1 don't know. Charlie. Tom Clark
dw ays knows what to do w ith his arm
when he is under an umbrella with
Mary Martin, because Mary told me
The Sacrifice Balked
A young i hiii who had been con
verted at a camp meeting deciart-d that
ill pride and self conceit had 1-cvn
akeit out of his heart- To prove it he
aid he would go down among the au
lienre and ki-s an old colored woman
\s he went dow n the aisle the old cot
ired woman rose to her feet and said:
I.ook a liver, hruddah. you may hah
ao pride, hut I has Vou can t Hob
-onize me ’fo all deae white folks."
A Friendly Saggestion.
A destitute author went to Dumas
•ere and threatened to suffocate him
self and his three vhlldren unless Du
mas could let him have ."no fnines at
■ roe. lninuis searched his coffers thor
Highly, hut could tied only "no francs
•ltut I must have three, or 1 and the
! tile ones are lost." "Suppose you suf
iocatc yourself and save the little
ties," said Dumas.
Tlie Soft Answer.
It was a wise young man who
(•aused la-fore he answered the widow
■ ho asked him to guess her age “Von
must have some idea of it, she said.
I.itIt what was intended for an arch
tidewise glance. "I have several
deas." lie admitted, with a smile.
The only trouble Is that 1 hesitate
whether to make you ten years young
•r on account of your looks or ten
,-enrs older on account of your brains
Then, while the widow smiied and
blushed, he took a graceful but speedy
pave.
Particular on That Head.
Vn Americau, while visiting Kings
ton. Canada, saw flames issuing from
a house he chanced to be passing at
noontime. Hushing around the comer,
he burst into a Are engine station,
shouting “Fire!"
At his entrance and cry an old man.
the only occupant of the station, who
sat reading a newspaper, slowly arose,
carefully debited his pai-er ou the
chair and hobbled over to a desk, on
which was a large book. "Sow. said
he. taking up a |-one 11 and opening this
volume, while the American stared m
amazement, "wofs Die aud
aumlKTr .
-1 don't know, but U's Just around
the corner!" , s
••Weil, von'd »letter go hack . id
mt the number." advised tlie *J*-* l“4n;
hutting the hook. "When ti>e h»>
- i i, fr,»m e inner and hear there s
■' ... * , m.hv fluikius to know
fire they- I lie I»ett> anv- -
Embraced THtrr, Ati
in Rn**
le ffti ■' *=-<» i
rwUKP l
■, I stingy t1
ue of thrr
oustled i>y
ist a it
■ Kv<
i!l this *
WI-*)
nisi
ry
tta* siiitjt lLat a frn-..J
must
iuue in Bus
sia U.»tl *So fob are • - - !' !1 « ; '
aaKl to rnj frieiHl, to oue <* tb* tin.
tiful Vrou.sk>- triplets, eu: -
frienit rtpHei! -But bow «■ T«*
them apart? tbe ®ao askisi- 1 d^ut
try/ i^aki Eijr frteud.
Hit the Wrtng Target.
f ' Hi nun Nwjsrht a turkey
(Tvm old l nde Ephraim ami asked
b-ni in i nki t the purchase if it «a,
a tan* turkey
''**• Jal' 'ir: It s a tame tu'key «|
; right ”
^ Ephraim. are you sure » a
tame turkey T
i _ ’ ’*'■ y*i». sit: dere's no si t o' lioabj
! "bout dat It> a tame tu'key ol right.*
He coiise.jiieutty thought tin* turkey,
and a day or too later Alien eating it
he came arn-s* several sh >t Uti-r «a
o hen he met oid Ephraim on the
street, be said:
"el!. Ephraim. you told me that
"eas a tame turkey, but I found some
sh ’t in It when ! ash eating It.t
"Oh. dat oar a tame tu’key ol right."
ous Ernie Ephraim's reiterated rejoin
der. "but de fae' is Kies. I s goine to
te i yer in confidence dat dem dere shot
«'as Intended for me."
Quit* Good Enough.
Sin* hail just mis*fv*s| * message
through the telephone and. still hold
ItiR tin* rei-eiver to her ear. said to her
husband:
"The Thompsons want us to dine
with them tonight Is It g,**1
enough?"
Before lie ■.'OHId speak over the w Ire
the answer came:
'es. quite good enough, Come
along "
An Ideal of Patriotism.
I.et our object lie our country, our
"hole country, and nothing but out
o.try And. by the blessing of Ood.
11 '.v that country itself tsssuite a vasi
and splendid monument, not of op
press Ion and terror, but of wisdom, of
peai'e and or’ lilierty. upon which the
world may gaze with admiration for
e' er I la idol Webster
Easy Bookkeeping.
A young husband, finding that his
pretty but rather extravagant wife
was eon sill ably exceeding their In
come, brought l*er home one day a
neat littie account U>ok This he pre
sented to her. together with $50
"Now, my dear.” lie said. "I waul
you to put < own what I give you oi>
this side, and on the other write down
the way it goes, and in a fortnight I
will give yoi another supply"
A couple of wo ks later lie asked for
the look
"Oh. I have kept the account all
right!" said his wife. "See here It
Is "
On one page was Inscrllied, "He
reived from Willie $50." and on the
opposite page was the comprehensive
little summary. "Spent it all."
Calming Him Down.
"If women jus! hud a little tnrt and
didn’t fly to pieces their own selves
when their husbands *rit to jawin' and
tearin’ aronn I. there'd Is' less trouble
In fam'lles." said Mrs tirlm to a neigh
lior.
"I suppose that's so,” replied the
neighbor.
"I know ’tis.” replied Mrs (Jrlm
"I)o you suppose i lose my head and
my tongue and go all to piece- and snj
things I'm sorry for afterward when
tirlm gets Into one of his tantrums''
Well, I don’t. 1 just keep cool and
iaim hint down "
"How do you calm him down7”
"Well, sometimes wllh a stick and
r:in with a broom handle, or tnebhe
I II grab up a pall o' water and douse
t all over him. There's plentv o' ways
• > <altn a man down If a woman will
only keep cool herself and try 'em.”
Declined In Rebuttal.
Authoress (of tin budding variety?—
I got level wilh the editor last night
lie always reject* my manuscripts.
But I have had my revenge. Friend —
IIow did you do It? Authoress 1 de
clined his son with thanks. —l’hk-Me
Driven From Home.
"f>hl you hear that the daughter of
that rich man i t the next street had
fieeti driven front home?"
"No! When did it happen?"
".last after she got Into the carriage.”
Nd Wonder.
.Tuck Yes, h> Jo tin may have had
his faults, but hi* heart was on the
right side.’*
\V gire 1 It possible? No wonder
he died.
A Forcing Effect.
Fresh manure hits a forcing effect
alp.1 tends to produce stems and leaves
a*he expense of fruit and grain It la
therefore lietter for early garden truck
grasses and forage plants than for
cereals or fruit
A Good Reason
Putnam People Can Tell You
Why It Is So
Doan's Kidney Pills cure the cause
of disease, and that is why the cures
are always lasting. This remedy
strengthens and tones up the kidneys,
helping them to drive out of the body
the liquid poisons that cause backache,
headache and distressing kidney and
urinary complaints. Putnam people
testify to permanent cures.
Mrs. Dennis Cady, of .Hchool et.,
Putnam, Conn., says: “For three or
four years my husband had severe
pains in the small of his back which
prevented him from sleeping well at
night. A day or two before a storm he
always noticed that the pains were
worse, and when he caught cold the
trouble was also greatly aggravated.
Added to this there w as an annoying
difficulty from the kidney Secretions.
He used many remedies but got no re
lief uutil he began taking Doan's Kid
nev Pills, procured at Dresser’s drug
store. Their use stopjasl th*- ikidney
difficulty arid banished the back
I for -ale by ail dealers. Price oO
cent*. Filter-Mil bum Co., Buffalo,
New York, sole wnl for the Csited
Remember the name—I loan's—and
take no other.
Basra tka
Brasilia
ft
0TORIA
slu 1*4 fa HWUI8
ALCOHOL 3 FEK CSJIT
Prvpanrro&r As
ZSSSSSSSS
iNf wts -'Children
ftTJWrtraDtgre&wjCkmfi*
nrss aad RntConums mm
Hmimi MimhIi. I,
v '|!Uh( »7iurpni.il
Not Narcotic.
AprrVct Rrtnntv forfwn*R
Mon. Sour Stomach, Dlarrtm
Worms jTonwilswusJnrrisk
wss mi Loss of Sleep.
cSMk Sifufwr of
/CZ£«tf*25T
NEW YORK.
\i to months olu
J5 Dosfn - J^Ci nts
CASTORU
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have
Always Bought
Bears the
Signature
of
In
Use
For Over
Thirty Years
CASTORU
Exact Copy of Wrapper.
■
WANTED SUMMER BOARD
Hv thousands of Brooklyn people. Can von take a few ' If m>. list your
house in the BROOKLYN DAILY EAGLE FREE INFORMATION
BUREAU, for which purpose a printed blank is provided. The service
of the INFORMATION BI IlEAU
Will Cost You Nothing
The Brooklyn Engle is the best advertising medium in the world. It
carries more resort advert laments than an v New York paper. It stands
PRE EMINENTLY at the head. * *
An ALVERTISMENT in the Eagle costs little, but bring** large
results, because the EAGLE INFORMATION BUREAU is constantly
helping it. Write for listing blank and Advertising Rate Card, Address
Information Bureaii’ Brooklyn Daily Eagle, Braokyn, N.Y.
Mention the paper in which you see this advertiainent.
Worcester Buckeye
Mowing Machines
Scythes, Snaths, Bakes
and Forks.
Sprayers, Various Kinds.
Paris Green, Bug Death
and Arsenate oi Lead.
TheCyphers Incubators
and Brooders
Sharpies Cream Separator
(NONE BETTER)
American Steel Wire Fnci 1
g^-GET OUR PRICES
This Stove
In Your Your Kitthen Wilt
Save Tune Work and Money.
Putnam Light i PowerCo.
Removed Cvei Prey's Vmket.
The Indian is Chief
OK
Anirriran Intorrydn
» ■ i r < I i
R d ii > ; : i ■
plenty of pow r, always ready.
AfK THE VAN WHO RIDES ONE 9
iNni a vfmx'vrr^iH
Alt' Ar1innwlr(ltr«,il to l*r (hf of thi %*o»Ut hi *|l %* i'll ir*<oi »i i-«I ttintn m il ilil
ntiMcaHil Thru ir»».t«l m io„.l i hi'tn -i i r l<»M-rh» hip*', n»t lc»Ml
i »l on tht* tt'H) k for th»* f»n*t m i »*n 11 hi' pto\ t tin *f *»;•»* »*-! nli,
Our mixIvU iinw *m ut !(,»'
AuUmmliiit' Mn*w, M< i‘iiniiu-« II u i id i ii ||«
11 iu>( iii); luu Av« , I) mi i hi, Mfi' M'IiVH'.hm
proot* that We halt? inniiiiMinnl oil I l* | U*
Hli<uj oi wu,«t’»u*i til .
THE mm IN. CD.,
Springfield, Mass
j. m T ITICW. j •«., A*.hi.
TWO SECOND HAND »/OTOR CYCLES FOR SALE
Two New 1907 Imlian Motor Cycles (or sale cheap.
A
STATIONERY
Our line of stationery contains supplies for the
business man, the professional man, the student,
and the lady. In buying for this department we al
ways have in mind the store, the office, the school,
and the home. We make our specialty of the best
grades and latest designs, but have in stock the
cheaper grades- Blank books, pens, pencils, inks.
School Supplies for a
Song!
Vacation time has come to a close, and Wy*
and girls will again resume their studies^ They
need lots of little utensils and we have nearly every
sort of helps required, and at prices so low as will
certainly astonish all comers.
Edward. G. "Wright,
Central Block, Putnam
.... ♦hhi
§111IIIMHWMIIMI IMItlllllll