Putnam patriot. [volume], September 18, 1908, Image 3

About Putnam patriot. [volume] (Putnam, Conn.) 1872-1962

Image provided by: Connecticut State Library, Hartford, CT

                
The
Scrap Book
l,|‘ Price.
v known actor win taking din
' at a fashionable Chicago hotel j
t\I-n « young man came In ami sat
.3 #t the same table. He apparent
b r,. ed the actor, for after gai
jL at u m Intently for a couple of
rniii''' he Pu!le<3 a two dollaf bill
ostentatiously from a large roll and.
aaorirr it acroaa the table, remarked:
-i always feel as if l bad to pay to
c a famous man. don't you know.”
Ttte “fatuous man" calmly tore the
fro dollar bill in half and returned
^ section to the young man.
-Cbl'Jten half price.” he observed
fOtnpo-olly. _
LISTEN!
ffv... r you are as you read tMs,
W v ■ , ver your trouble or grief.
1 *ir you to know and to heed this—
your draweth near with relief.
jj0 sorrow, no woe. la unending
Th .ugh heaven seems voiceless and
dumb.
^ as your cry Is ascending.
So surely an answer will come.
Whatever temptation Is near you
tv> .• eves on these simple lines fall,
p... r good angels will hear vsu
Ar.J help you to stand if you call.
Ttie-ru stunned by despair. 1 beseech
tv V vrr your losses, your need.
Belie., when these printed words reach
Belie ie you were born to succeed.
—Ella Wheeler Wilcox.
Got Half of It Back.
The famous painter Corot nnd his
sister were joint owners of some house
pmi’erty in the Faubourg Polssonuiere
tme d. y one of the tenants a tailor,
came to Corot and said be could not
I it his rent. "Wliat can I do for you?”
s«kisl Corot. “1 cannot intercede for
jou « my sister because I am not
on good terms with my family.” As a
matter "f fact. Corot was regarded ns
a -f t .re" by his family. “However,”
be added, "bore Is the money to pay
the ret ' only don't let any one know
I have -even it to you.”
The t ilor after this used to return
periodl' illy when his rent was due and
obtain the money from Corot, who re
marked on one occasion, "I appear to
tie very generous, but I am not, be
ca'ise i get half of It back from my
sister us my share of the rent."
Barred Out.
Tv. souls approached St. Peter, side
by side, and the younger was repulsed
sternly by the saint on the ground
that since he had never been married
he had never known suffering.
The older man advanced, with glad
confidence. He stated that he had been
married twice.
But hlta, too. the saint repulsed, say
ing
“This Is no place for fools.”
Mi* Improvement Plan.
\ Chester lawyer married a young
Siiii.:1 i of exquisite mind—a thin, lug
tr i led girl In spectacles,'' said a West
V _ man. “A friend from the oasr
»as i:.' ■ luced to the lady one night,
and r on the bridegroom said to
faun
" id ge, what do you think of her?'
g puffed thoughtfully on his
cigar
Well he said, ‘to tell you the
trjP: -' e isn't much to look at. is she?'
“The husband's face fell.
" Ah. but,' be said eagerly, 'what a
IB::.! - - has.' Externally peril.ip- slv
Isn't ill that could be desired, but
within all. George, she has a beautl
fu! mind”
"George smiled. Then have her
turned, he said.”
Tre First Eviction.
An lt i>h tenant who had Just bought
tr.: hr he purchase act boasted to tin
tf-nt h it bis landlord was now "God
A h glity” and that he need fear noth
lug
"I’mi't you lie too sure, Pat.” was
the rei i “Remember God Almighty
«vicn i his first two tenants.”
A Cock to the End.
"A .. .I cook lias the spirit of cook
*r.' in him.” said a French chef,
‘hh : i. him it never dies. II is first
li-; I a by word is of food, and a
®“h e ■ a navnriu is the subject of hi'
tost i. g breath.
"i i ever hear of poor Gaston
l~v.' at. ike distinguished cook of Pall
la:.- t.aston went on a voyage to
the somil seas lu ISbo. His ship was
wrecked, and he and bis party were
captured by catinilmls. Being plump.
^s'!ou. alas, was the first of the ill
fated party to be consigned to the
srtat iron casserole. And the surviv
ors say that nothing could have been
mere touching and more sublime tliau
haston's last cry from the great pot
** the water began to smoke anil bub
iile and he tiegan to cook—Gaston's last
•ralm cry of a great artist:
“■Come, come! It is already past
time for the pepper and salt." ”
In Rich**.
Hn that is proud of riches Is a foo!.
If he be exalted above bis neigh
hors because he hath more gold bow
*°ocb inferior is he to a gold mine!—
Jeremy Taylor.
A Noiiy Process.
iir i'ietcber was a plasterer and
trililayer. The chimney projecting
from the roof of his one story cottage
**s in the last stages of dilapidation
Deeded to be torn down aud re
hjiit. hundred times or more Mrs.
*•“' r had called his attention to it
® • i t« c.-ed him to mend it. but he was
*u‘- t > busy. He would attend to
11 * h n he "jrot time.”
•t there catue a bright clear
■n he had abai*inTely nrcbing
■1 his wife promptly suggest
he take up that long delayed
finish it
t can’t do it today. Emily.” he
On a day like this l ought »o
nji.,1 What does that
eln’i” asked tfie caller.
; it means.” said Mrs Hetch
• a smile, “that my husband has
! his mind.”
■ he land s sake” exclaimed the
"Ikes it aiways make a noise
< w** that wui-ii
chaogeft hi* mindr*
B#dly Injured.
' mm
ift'PTBWQ ar»<! sakt she
a lawyer on a rather ii
ter, * said a lawyer **!
prim and self possessed
M ‘What can I do for *.
“•Well/ ?he sokl in
*®T busbetod was hurt
the other day *
tny office one
" r^l to S»*e
ti!j«ortant mat
She " is very
ouT I ashed,
an easr tone,
its the wreck
“! notion! sbe to dressed in nxwtrn
!na. but fmoi her indifferent tone I
gathered that it bad no conneotlon
eitti her husband's accident.
“'Was your husband badly injur
edI asked.
•■ ves.' she answered in the same
quiet voice 'He got his bead tut off.' '*
—Kansas City Independent.
Ltver and th« Archbishop.
C li.-tTies 1 .ever, the novelist, was once
the truest of I>r. Wbately. the arch
bishop of Dublin, at his country seat
Anion,- the other guests were some of
the expectant ciergy. who paid sub
missive court to their host While the
archbishop ami his guests were walk
ing through the ground the prelate
plucked from a bush a leaf which, he
declared, had a most nauseous flavor.
"Taste it." said he. handing the leaf
to on, of the clergy The latter smil
ingly obeyed and then, with a wry
face, subscribed to the botanical ortho
doxy of the archbishop.
"Taste it you. Lever." said the grst
Itied prelate, handing the leaf to the
novelist.
"No. thank you." said Lever, laugh
ing "My brother Is not in your grace’s
diocese.”
An Unreassnable Wife.
John \ Igors complained one night
at supper that the tea was weak, the
meat tough, the |>otatoes soggy, etc.
llis wife at last burst into tears.
"John Vigors.” she cried. "I have
cooked faithfully for you for seven
teen years My one thought has l-een
to please you. There is not a man in
this town has la-tter cooked food than
you, and this is all the thanks I get—
growlings and complaints, growling*
and complaints day after day Why
can't you pra se me once in awhile’”
"You are the most unreasonable wo
man I ever saw." he said goldly
"Many and many a time I've sat down
to a meal ami never sai l a word about
it from start to finish Wasn't that
enough of a compliment for vou?
Don't you know perfectly well that If
there had lieen the least little bit of a
tiling to find fault with I’d have found
it ?"
Chaos In Knowledge.
And so l say it most conFdently. the
tirst intellectual task of our ago Is
rightly to order and make serviceable
the vast realm of printed material
w hich four centuries have swept across
our path To organize our knowledge,
to systematize our reading, to save out
of the relentless cataract of ink the
immortal thoughts of the greatest, this
Is a necessity unless the productive in
genuity of man is to lead us at last to
a measureless and pathless chaos To
know anything that turns up is In tlit?
infinity of knowledge to know nothing
To read the tirst bonk we come across
in the wilderness ol books Is to learn
nothing To turn over the pages of
ten thousand volumes is to he prac
tically indifferent to all that is good.—
I'redcric Harrison.
Got His Fees.
A quaint character was Sugar, the
verger of Halifax parish church On
me occasion a bridegroom after the
service said that lie had no money
with which the pay the verger's fees.
Sugar went to the bride in Ids most
winsome way and asked her: "Hast
aver seen Black Bibles? We’ve a rare
lot on 'em in this 'ere vestry."
■ No,” site replied, not having the
faintest Idea of what a Black Bible
was.
"i'ooin along I'll show yer them.”
He lured Iter Into tile Inner vestry.
“There's the Bible ," be said, point
ing to them, locked up as they were in
i I took case with glass panels, of which
he had not the key. "Wait awhile till
1 room back.”
He turned the key of the vestry on
the in i le and, going to the bridegroom,
mid. "I.a-' i-- ail right, but you'll no
1 have her till y u have paid "
The bridegn mi hastily dug up.
Danger Assured.
An Kng isle an was invited by a
New Yorker to accompany him on a
hunting trip on l.ong Island.
"Barge or small game?" laconically
asked tlie Briton, who has hunted in
every quarter of the giolie
■You don't expect to find lions atnl
tigers on Bong island, do you? que
ried the New Y orker
"Hardly,” responded the Briton, with
a laugh, "but 1 like a spice of dnnger
in my hunting.”
“if that's the case.” answered the
other, with a grin. "I m your man. all
right The last time I went out I shot
my brother-in-law In the leg:”—Har
>er's Weekly.
Did Ha Waa Told.
A well known Brooklyn clergyman
|U a talk to bis Sunday school urped
the children to speak to him whenevel
the. met. The next day a dirty faced
urchin accented him In the street with
"How do. doe?"
The clergy man stopped and eordlal
ly Inquired. "And who are you. sir?"
-I'm one of vour little lat..'*, ' re
piled the boy affably. "Fine day
And. tilting his hat to the hack of bl.«
head, be swap pared off. leavinc the
wiuihy divine speechless with amaze
nient. _
Gasella Hunting.
r.aru-lles i Nut-M nr.- hunt-d by n
(s-werfui lr.<d of h muds in I n!. .
Le-.ee.-hnt heavier than a prey bound
. - i . .if iMii « f ir swifter 'ban the
’lh, j,-.,,:’- fills a victim free
r ,i ,,f c.-nsumtly step
' i ! -,. v to see if if is pur
firs
Kitting Sumas.
'or killing .wit •.«
• rt- „am end* a t • * " , , .
«w t! e tfDmsc. thf-n t- n to -
mac taay I* destroyed t-y I***"*"’
„ attf.r flowering season and t*
... |t sets terries, hot sheep
. work at .ess trouble ami expense
TH«vV» AM Like Th.a.
A yon re and ;-->t:y -choolteMcher
’ ' ' ask*sl her class for an or. Cilia l
| definition of ibe word “wife.”
A w ife *S » r;U," «; hi on* little ciri.
"•'OS a-c g : ::■ g »t. rs." sold *R
i other.
I "A comforter." saId a third.
“An ! > "(-»•)-*n." sai l n f 'Mrtb.
! Altogether the definitions were rath
; er prosy and eommofiplar*. hut finally
i a child of eleven. smiting arclity. said
A wife Is a |»rsi>u for a mart to rim'
fault with when things go wroug.
"tii sal” cri.si the pretty teacher,
laugh.ng “tiiSki I That is the la's;
definition of ail. the beet. the truest!"
Hut that afternoon on the way home
from school the little girl who*- ilefi
oh ion had so p’eused trlp|>ed demurelj
up to the teacher and said:
"Are you going to marry that tall,
handsome young man 1 Sis' you with
nearly every night?"
"Yes." said the teacher
"Well. then, if my definition of a
wife was true"—
“Ah. hut. dear, with us nothing will
ever go wrong, ile says so himself.”
The House's Power of Smell.
The hors** win leave musty hay nn
touched in his Ivin, however hungry
He will not drink of water objection
ah e to his questioning sniff or from n
bneket which some <xlor makes ofTeu
sive. however thirsty. His intelligent
n-»srril w widen, quiver atul query
over the dainti< st hit offered by tin
fairest of hands, with coaxings that
would make a mortal shut his eyes and
swaliow a nauseous mouthful at a
snip- A mart* is never satisfied Ivy
either sight ,»r whinny that her colt I
really her own until she has a certain
nasal certificate to the fact. A blind
hors**, now living, will not allow tin
approach of any stranger without
showing signs of angei uot safely t<
In* disregarded. The distinct ion :s t*\ i
dently made by his sense of smell an
at a considerable distance. l»ihtd
In vises, as a rvli*. will gallop wildly
atvont a pasture with nil striking tin
surrounding feme The sense of sun,
informs them of its proximity. Horse
and Stable.
Dccci /crs.
There Is nn old I'eiiow who lives in a
“dry Now Kugkind town who has a
very poor opinion of New York, to
which mett*.>j i-lis he recently made a
visit. It may be remarked in passing
that the oil gentleman is one of the
pillars of the church In his native vil
lage. I pon his return home he sat for
some time upon a sugar barrel at the
grocery and then suddenly burst out:
“Them fellers down to New York is
as bad as thieve*! ('heat your eye
teeth out ‘fore you know it!*’
“t• >»sh. Hiram! You don't mean to
say you got bunkoed at your age?” tin*
storekeeper demanded, dropping the
nail tongs.
“Yes. I did, too!" was the angry re
ply * 1 went to a sody water fountain
an* asked the feM«*r for his lvest sar
syorllla. an* 1 give him the regular
wink.’*
"Well?" the storekeeper demanded.
“Well, by he« k. I g vt it!” was the
disgusted reply.
Sharks and Divers.
Contrary » what is generally sup
pos<Ml. the fully equipped modern diver
does not dread sharks in tin* depths,
though th re are eases on record
where these monsters have bitten s.tv
ag ly at the air pipe, causing a serious
leak and almost drowning the man be
fore be could be hauled up. Sharks
are. however, notoriously timid, and
all tin* experienced diver has to do to
frighten them away is to open one of
the air v alves in his dress and cause a
stream of bubbles to rise up all around
him. whereupon the “tiger of the deep*'
will make off in abject terror. A far
more real danger is getting entangled.
—St. Nicholas.
A Mixup.
The hoiiartiuMer smothered his wrath
ami tles<*«Mnlt»«l to the basement.
**Are you the plumber?” he asked of
tlie grimy looking Individual who was
tinkering with the pipes in the cellar.
'Yes. guv’n answered the u in.
* l‘<-*n !••:!£ in t!;o
“ T5out a guvTior.**
“hvi/r make mistake#*?**
“I* t s yer. no. iruv’nor!**
“Oh. then. I sijppos ■ it's ail right! I
Imagined von lia 1 eonne ted up the
r<»,-x i'i.'i-s. f» r the eliandeljer in the
drawl;•:? room is spraying iik»» a foitn
min, an i the bathroom tap's on tire!"
lyOn ion Answent.
A Good Reason
Putnam People Can Tell You
Why It Is So
I loan's Kidney Pills cure the cause
of disease, and that is why the cures
are always lasting. This remedy
strengthens and tone* up the kidneys,
helping them to drive out of the body
the liquid poisons that cause backache,
headache and distressing kidney and
urinary complaints. Putnam (leople
testify to permanent cures.
Mrs. Dennis I'ady, of W ..School gt.,
Putnam, Conn., says: “For three or
four years my husband had severe
pains in the small of his hack which
prevented him from sleeping well at
night. A day or two before a storm he
always noticed that the pains were
worse, and when he caught cold the
trouble was also greatly aggravated.
Added to this there w as an annoying
difficulty from the kidney ^secretions.
He used many remedies but got no re
lief until he began taking Isoan's Kid
\ Pills, procured at Dresser * drug
store. Their use stopped the kidney
difficultv and banished the back
.
aches.
tor sale by ail dealers. Price 80
cents. Foster-Miiburn to., Buffalo.!
New York, sole agent for the t oiled
Remember the name—I loan 's—and
CASTOR IA
For Infanta and Children.
Tbi Rind Yen Have Always Bwgtt
ALCOHOL J PER cE*r.
NkptoMe ftvp*nrion£rA*
Uw Ftvni jotj teftfe
li^lhr SrwsWs niBnwktf
NKWTS.*rHll»R»>
iVoiwUts I>«>f»srtoRfkfnfi*
ness and fesuonuiiw Mkr
Opium.Mocpfum- nr MkhL
Not Narcotic.
•rmi xswnjmmx
w
Apfrfrft Reme<K forCtakp
Hon, Sour Stonvrh.Dkrrtaa
Wormsf onvukwns irwrMk
nss wd Loss of Sleep.
ftaSk* SijMtnrr of
NEW YORK.
\t b months old
Cl NTS
CASTORIA
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have
Always Bought
Bears the
Signature
of
Exact Copy of Wrappef.
For Over
Thirty Years
CASTORIA
TMI M«nw« KIND* M« V»M OUT.
WANTED SUMMER BOARD
Bv thousands of Brooklyn j><-<>j>!»'. Cun vovr take a fi « ' If m>, list vour
house in the BROOKLYN IUll.Y K At ILK FUKK INFORMATION
BUREAU, fur which purpose a printed blank in provided. The service
of the INFORMATION BUREAU
Will Cost You Nothing
The Brooklyn Eagle is the best, advertising medium in the world. It
parries more resort advertisiuents than anv New Y ork paper. It stands
PRE-EMINENTLY at the head
An ADVERTISMKNT in the Eagle costs little, but brings large
results, because the EAOLK INFORMATION BUREAU is constantly
helping it. Write for listing blank and Advertising Rate Card, Address
Infornation Bureau- Brooklyn Daily Eagle, Brookyn N.Y.
Mention the paper in which you see this advertisment.
Scythes, Snaths, Rakes
and Forks.
Sprayers, Various Kinds.
Paris Green, Bug Death
and Arsenate ot Lead.
TheCyphers Incubators
and Brooders
Sharpies Cream Separator
(NONE BETTER)
American Steel Wire Fencing
g#*GET OUR PRICES
Thin Stove
In Your Your Kitchen Will
Save Time Work and Money.
Putnam Light ;■ PowerCo.
R imovtd Cver Prey's Maiket.
turds ra
ild M.u.
The Indian is Chief
OK
Anirriran flnlorcyrles
RidMMftry m ii 1 t ! «,
plenty of pow r, nlwnyj ready.
AfK THE I'AN WHO RIDES ONE ?
TNOI A V \»r >TO('V( |
Alt' *»«*Vk non loti iM'iito l*e thr *t II .tnt,l of >lu unilil M ,p %■«*)! ' t (lid ft OtfM <’% rittl# Nt <f ,{{§
nlnrtlrd <Thru im.nl n» r»*d * i dmnn.. t» *t*. I.iJI i ha» hit h, mn*i«nrpti«n tr*<«
i <1 on Ihr tnok for tIt*- i-m*f m vi n ntn» plot r th»‘*r tv» nt«
Out I1H»K itif»«h U iin« oil f xltilijiioti
A utoiiioliilv f>|u»w, Mii lmiiiii |{ u t I () i n y ,
iiutilin^luii Avr , M •t.ion. hm totivti-t tittf
pruoli tint wo ItHto inuioiMii i it out }•«*r>t r» | ii*
at ion ol supei t<>( tt\ .
THE mm Ifti. CO.,
Springfield, Mass
.1 l« TiTKIf, JH., A|«nt, l*ut»*»>•••
TWO SECOND HAND MOTOR CYCLES FOR SALE
Two New 1907 Indian Motor Cycle* for sale cheap.
TP
STATIC) MERY
Our line of stationery contains supplies for the
business man, the professional man, the student,
and the lady. In buying for this department we al
ways have in mind the store, the office, the school,
and the home. We make our specialty of the best
grades and latest designs, but have in stock the
cheaper grades- Blank books, pens, pencils, inks.
School Supplies for a
Song!
Vacation time has come to a dose, and boy*
and girls will again resume their studies. They
need lots of little utensils and we have nearly every
sort of helps required, and at prices so low as will
certainly astonish all comers.
Edward G. Wright,
Central Block. Putnam
..
—mum n mutt mini.