ii
f.
3
VOLUME 12-KUMBER 10.
BARTON, VERMONT, FRIDAY, MARCH 8, 1867.
WHOLE NUMBER 672.
" -1 TT
BUSINESS DIRECTORY
f II. BINBKE,
ATlORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW
NEWrOKT, VERMONT.
Special attention paid to the collection of all
claims iitf.iinst tlie government.
jTt. alle.v,
.v rorney and counsellor at law.
NEWPOKT, VE11M0NT.
ClIAKLES I. VAIL,
ATTORNEY, PENSION & BOUNTY AGENT.
IUVSKVllOII. VlHMONT.
DALE At UOBI.NSOX,
A TT0UNEYS AND COUNSELLORS AT LAW
DEKBY LIXiTANU BAUTON, VT.
!.(. X. KALE. i- B. KOHIXHON.
IY-hmoiis, bounties and ull Military Claims pro-
.1.
av.m. v. ;ih;t,
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW
AND CLAIM AGENT.
Ii.WlTO.N, VEKMONT.
Will attend the Cuurts in Oi lcans and Caledonia
Counties.
S. CI KKIKK,
MANUFACTURER SASH, DOORS, BLINDS.
HAHTOX, VEIIMUXT.
Will alwavs lie ready to attend to all calls in
his line. Call at the oid shop.
SAMUEL STANFORD,
DEALER IN PLOWS, TINWARE, FLOUR.
IUAH1UU01I, VLHMONT.
Also Horses to let at all times, and general job
nm'. te.im work done. S itistuetion given.
i:. hawson,
W AT JH MAKER AND JEWELLER.
1IAUTOX, VERMONT.
Dealer i:i Clocks, Wau hes, Jewelry, Silver and
Plated Wnrc
J. .. WEUSTEK,
V H O T O G R A T II E R .
llMtTOX, VKltMOXT.
Pliotoiiraphiir done in every style of the art.
Sin ill pictures copied and enlarged to any size
:i.id limhed in India Ink. A large assortment
oi' Alliums and oval frames always on hand, and
for s:ile che.ip.
II A I.I. A; JOSLYN,
DEALERS IN DRY GO 'DS, W.I. GOODS, &e.
I1AUTON, VKiiMOST.
A yootl assortment of Hardware, Hats, Caps,
Boots, Shoes, Flour. Salt, Nails, Clothing, &c.
VVM. JOSLYN A: SONS,
ApotlH'i-HiH'H and Wholesale lru;j?its.
1UHTON, VEKMONT.
1 1 T It V (II A II It Kit LI .
tin-shop stove and iiollow ware.'I
IIAHloN, VEKMONT.
William-' Soap Stone Stove, ( he-t thing yet in
vented) Pumps Sinks, Ac. Repairing done.
joiin jevsess,
PROPRIETOR OF THE UNION HOUSE.
(il.OVEU, VERMONT.
An excellent home for the traveler. No pains
will lie spared to promote the comfort of guests
It. II. LITTLE,
PROPRIETOR OF THE BARTON HOTEL.
ItAIlTON, VlltMONT.
(irria.-s in attend. nice on arrival of train s.
The Stages all stop at this House. Also a good
Liverv in connection with the came.
m. in i;h vki,
HOUSE. SlON AND CARRIAGE PAINTER.
11M1TON, Vl.UMONT.
Imitator of Wood and Marble, Taper Hanger,
Glazier, ftc.
11. S. ItK'K I'OKl),
CARRIAGE MAKER AND REPAIRER.
ltWUON, VIIKMONT.
Good work and ready iay. Always at home.
LVNE V A D.V.MS,
C O M M 1 S S 1 O N M E RCI1ANTS,
and wholesale dealers in
I-'i.oi k. Ill in it, Ciu:ii: a i ALL kinds of
Col'NT It y Phoiuii:.
o7 Main Sireet, Sprinuli Id, Mass.
li. U. LAN K. O. I.. ADAMS.
'. II. DHIM'.LL,
DEALER IN ALL KINDS OF FURNITURE.
1IAK10V, VhllMONT.
Also dealer in Cassino's Spring Mattrasses, Cot'
fins and CaUcts.
j. r.. mvir.LL,
FURNITURE DEALER AND REPAIRER.
OLOVr.lt, vr. 11 MONT.
Rest of Furniture always Kent. Sofas, Lonn
l'cs Curtain Fixtures, Bureaus, Bedsteads, Mir
..rs Picture Frames, Smiled. Cane and Wood
scat Chairs, Tal.les, Cribs, Cahs.CasMiio's Spring
M.ittrasses. Al-o Collins, Ca-kcts. Furniture re
paired. A sood assortment of wool, oil and
hemp carpets, room paper, oak chamber sctts.&e.
Farn turc rep ined and made as good as lieu.
i:. ii. run: a- to.,
V U R N I T U R E DEALERS.
NLWI-OUT, VF.UMONT.
of Stoves. Crockery, Tin and
Hollow
Ware alwavs on hand. Also Carpets.
it. sti'Bbins, (;i:nt,
11 A U TO N, V I: HMO N T,
For the drover & R.iker,
and Shuttle or
The best in New
I (!; stitch Sew in 2 machines.
i.' ...,i...i i',.r I... ivv and li'dit
family and tailor's
woik. All orders promptly attended to 41m:
It VI.LOI' A IIIHIIAKI,
COMMISSION D E AL E R SIN
Hatter, Chee-e. Flour, K-rj-'s. P.cans, &c, &c.
l V.on-iil Hall Si.iiaie. Boston, Mass.
I. n. liM i.or. lhvl
A. 1. 1IIIIHAKII
1. HIII'ITMISBY.
MERCHANT, CLOVER, VERMONT,.
DF.AI.KU IN'
Foreign and Domestic Dry Goods, Crockery and
H inlwarc, Rc.idy-M.idc Clothing, Hats and Cap-,
W. I. Goods ami Groceries, Flour, Salt, Nails,
Fi-h, Paints and Oils Glass, Patent Medicines,
frarminir Tools Ac. Ac. '-'Stf
LKWIS IIOLMKS,
AGENT nut REYNOLDS' IMPROVED TUR
BINE WATER WHEEL.
8LTT0N, VI'.UMONT.
It reniiiies the least water tor the amount of
power given ot
tec it.
anv wheel in use.
Come and
25t f
U.M. PITCH EK,
HORSE TRAINER.
AVllST AL11AXV, VF.UMONT,
Hill receive hones and eolts at his 'taWc ir
West AHv.uiv, and every attention will he given
them. He lias had a life-Ion? experience in
Irainiii',' horses for Hie turf, saddle, and harness,
and all who entrust their horses and colts with
hi m can rest assumed that he will give thcru his
earnest care and atti'iuiou. lotf
1)11. E. IIINTINOTOX,
(Successor to E. Palmer,)
D E NTIST,
siw ror.T VERMONT,
Olficc in the New Block, opposite the Mcm
phretnasos House. 4Gtt
n. li. SAKUEXT,
KJ: NUFACTURER OF BOOTS AND SHOES.
NEWPOltT, VEKMONT.
He makes the hest nrticlo of hoots and shoes in
he county. Best material used nnd first class
workmen employed. 5(tf
V. I. CKAX E,
ATTORNEY AT LAW. SOLICITOR IN
CHANCERY, AND CLAIM AGENT,
NEWPORT. VERMONT. 50tf
C. W. SMITH,
DEPUTY SHERIFF.
BAllTON, VEKMONT.
I! A LI) WIN &PU0UTYt
DEALERS IN DRY GOODS. CLOTHING
FURS & MILLINERY GOODS,
NEWJ-OUT, VEKMONT.
The richest goods always found at this store,
and at u rcasonahlc price
I70R Fine Gold Rings, call nt
KAWSOX'S.
piIOTOGRAPHIC SALOON FOR SALE.
The Suhscriher wishing to po to tho West, of
fers for alc his Photographic Saloon situated in
Hie Villagooi lrustmrgli- .
He will remain nt Irashurgti a few weeks and
take pictures at the lowest price.
S. STEVENS.
Irasburgh, February 1, 1867. 6-3
Courting under Difficulties.
Kate Blake was the only daughter
Jacob Blake, the old miser of West
J J rook.
She was more than commonly pret
ty, and .her frank, engaging manners
enhanced the charms of golden hair,
pearly skin, and eyes like the blue
skies of summer. At her father's
death she would be heiress to the
n'ce little sum of seventy thousand
dollars, and though men generally
profess not to be influenced by pecu
niary matters in affairs of love, it is
to be reasonably supposed that this
prospective wealth by no means les
sened the number of her adorers.
Among those most ardent, and per
haps most sincere, was Will Dart
mouth, with a heart larger than his
purse, and very little thought or care
for consequences.
Fortunately, old Jacob never sus
pected the partiality of his daughter
for Will ; he would have put her on
bread and water before he would
have consented to the slightest inti
macy with Will Dartmouth.
Jacob Blake was not in favor of
marriage. Those who knew his cir
cumstances were not surprised at this,
for, to use a phrase more expressive
than elegant. Mrs. Blake was a Tar-,
tar. with temper enough for two Tar
tars. Old Jacob had to '-walk Spanish,"
for the most part, or suffer the conse
quences, which usually descended on
his head, in the shape of any domestic
utensil which happened to be lying
around handy.
A maiden sister of Mr. Blake re
sided in the family, whose principal
business seemed to be to act -a sort
of echo toiler brother and his wife.
Whatever they thought, she thought
too.
She regarded it as a primarv sin
for Kate to associate -with the young
men. and this doctrine was persevere-1
ugly drilled into her niece, who tho I
she never dissented, had her own
idea on the subject.
One day Mr. Blake and his wife
went to Delhatn to attend a fair, and
Miss Peggy being absent at a friend's.
Kate was left alone. AN ill Dartmouth,!
in some way, learned the condition of j
affairs, and early in the afternoon he j
came' over to keep Kate company. land in consequence, she smashed the
As her parents were not expected i looking-glass into a thousand frag
home until the evening, AVill felt per-(incuts, and knocked down the clock
fectly secure in stopping a while after
tea; and he and Katie were having a
jolly time popping corn in the old
fashioned frying pan. over the huge
wood lire, when there was a sound
of voices at the door. -Good graci
ous !'' cried Kate turning white with
alarm, "lucre is Aunt l eggv. n
WiU. what shall we do? She will
scold me to death ; and father will U
lurions. (Jet under the lounge, quid; : j Jake stormed, Mrs.'IJ a ;c threatened ;
Oh AVill, do for my sake !" i and at last Katie and Peggy confessed.
AVill could not withstand the plcad-j And Jake and his wife were so i c
ing in Katie's eyes, and he deposited i juiced at the prospect of getting rid
himself in the designated place. i of Peirsrv. that thev forgave their
L'ntic r-rnt n-.if tlie lirrlit. nnil d.'irtin r 1
into an adjacent room in a moment
was apparently asleep.
Peggy's voice was heard in the
hall. '
'die careful, Mr. Pike. There i a
loose board there, I don't want todi
turb mv niece
it may creak." :
Peggv, dear, where arc you
re-!
ponded the squeaking voice ot usq. i
. .. . r n
'ike, the widower of a year. j
' I can't tell which way you have
gone.
'There, Daniel! be easy. Good
heavens! Daniel Pike. AVell I nev
er !'' and a report burst on the air
like the uncorking of a champagne
bottle.
'Oh my!" cried Aunt Peggy, "what
would brother Jacob sav ? I declare
1 hain't been kissed by a man since
'Let Jake mind his own business!''
retorted the squire. "You and I can
take care of ours without his help;"'
and thcie followed a report similar to
tlie first only more of it.
I In. ('niiet. Daniel, ar.d let me
ret a liht. !sct riht down mere oe
fore the lire and make yourself at
home.
A light was soon procured, Peggy
divested herself of her wrappings, and
blushing like a girl in her teens sat
down opposite the Squire.
"It's a tine evening," said Peggy, by
the way of opening the conversation.
"Very," replied" the Squire, draw
ing his arm over her back.
' Oh, good gracious ! Daniel, don't
set quite so nigh to me I that is I
don't consider it strictly proper.
Mercv! what's that?''
Doth listened attentively. I
'It was the wind rattling the win
dow, I guess," said the Squire. "Don't
you go to getting so nervous Peggy."
"I thought it wu3 Katie waking up
and if she should, I should never hear
the last of it."
"Hark ! There is a noise I "
"Gracious airth! it's bells. It's
Jake and inarm coming back ! AVhat
shall I do ? We're done ? Oh Squire,
'taint riffbt for us to be nothing to one
'tnt lirr v Tr heln me 1 AVhat shall
I do?"
"Tell me where to go, Peggy I say
the word I'll go anywhere, for your
sake, if it s up the chimney.'
Tinder the lounsre. quick ! It's wide
and will hold well, uicki aon i
delay a minute !"
The Squire obeyed, but the space
wn Sn well filled that it was with
difficulty he could squeeze himself into
so small a compas3. Ana jusi us
succeeded, Mr. Blake and his wife en
tered the room, floundering along m
the dark, for Peggy had deemed it
best to extinguish the light. .Jake
made for the fire which still glowed
red with coals, stumbling over the
cricket, and fell head-long ' against
Peggy, who was standing bolt upright,
trying to collect her scattered senses.
"The duce!" cried Jake. "Look
out there, old woman, or you'll be
down over me. It's dark as a pocket
here, and I've fell over the rocking
cheer, or the churn, I can't tell which
Hullo ! what's that ? reaching out his
hand to feel his situation, and -coming
in contract with the bearded face of
the Squire. By goll ! it's got whiskers !
Peg! Peg! where are you? and
where's Kate ? and what is this ?"
The Squire did not relish the as
sault made on his hisute appendages,
and by the way of retaliation, he gave
a series of vigorous kicks which hit
Will Dartmouth in the region of the
stomach and stirred his bile.
"Look here, old chap! exclaimed
he, I'm perfectly willing to share my
quarters with you, seein' as we're
both in for it; but you'd better not
undertake to do that again."
"Heavings !" ejaculated Peggy ;
whose voice is that ?"
"Who in the duce is here?
that's
what I want to know ?" cried Jake
struggling for an upright position.
"Hullo ! who's fell down over mv
legs ?"
"I'll let you know who's down and
who's up !'' said the voice of Mrs.
Blake ; and the old lady scrambled
up, only to go instantly down again
over a chair. Jake where are you ?
get a light, or I'll shake your breath
out. when I get my feet again.''
Jake started to obey, and just then
Tige the watch dog, who hearing the
uproir, hud managed to break lo s;
from his lair, rushed upon tiic scene,
and set up his best bow-wow.
The Squire had a mortal horror of
dogs, and neither fear nor love was
strong enough to keep him quiescent
now. He sprang to his feet with a
yell: Will followed
Katie full of
alarm for her lover, hopped out of
bed and appeared with a naming tal
towuip leggy uuiig iter siriiissi; uuuu I
,.1 " I I. . 11 . I
the Squire's nock with a cry of terror,
land Jake was silent with amazement,
j Mrs. Blake was the only one who pos-1
sessed her wits. She seized the corn
popper, and laid about her with vig-1
or.
Her
aim was
not alwavs correct j
from its shelf and demolished two
bowls and a pitcher that were quietly
reposing on the mantle.
The Squire broke from Peggy's em-
brace and flashed out of the window,
AVill followed him and Mrs IJiake
would have pursued by the same out-1
let, but she was a little too large to j
get through with ease.
A dreaded counsel was holdcn ;
1 inno litiir .md tnnk Will Dartmouth
mir at the end oi itie year.
Ami indue time, Pcri?v and the
7 j
. .1 1 . 1
tpnre
were made one flesh.
I
One AVay to raise Money. The
fellow who attempted the trick here
deseribed renrescnts a class of oeo-
. far too jaiw W1D arf! too iazv to
.. . ,
!ort !i hvino- hv anvt nncr hut tneir
F3
wits
A new and ingenious means of
raising money has .just been adopted
by an intelligent French sharper. A
few nights ago, some bargemen on the
river Seine, sitting, on their decks
smoking their pipes between eleven
and tweive o'clock, were suddenly
alarmed by a tremendous splash in
the water near them ; and on getting
up they perceived a poor wretch, who
had evidently thrown himself from
the bridge, close to which they were
moored, struggling to preserve his
life. Two of the bartremen, who
were tolerable good swimmers, has
tened to throw off their jackets, and
unhesitatingly plunged into the stream
where they soou came up to the un
happy man. They were fortunate
enough to save the poor fellow ere he
sank and in triumph bore him to
their boat, where after drying him
and plying him freely with brandy
and water, the man seemed perfectly
to recover. It was now time to ques
tion him, and they did so.
"AVhat," asked the bargeman,"could
have iuduced you thus to commit
suicide ?"
"Suicide !" reiterated the other.
"I never attempted suicide."
"Why, you have just jumpped oil
the bridge, and had we not been there
you would have lost your life."
'Pshaw ! vou are fools. I wished
to serve you and myself, so let's about
it. As I was passing over the bridge
I remembered I had not a sou in the
world, so I bethought me how I could
gain a few franco."
"AA'hat, by killing yourself?'
"Not so; I swim like a duck; noth
ing can drown me ; so I threw myself
over to be saved, and as you are the
lucky men come along and claim the
twenty-five franco allowed for saving
a drowning man we II go halves.
The honest boatmen, however pre
ferred handing the rascal over to the
police. "
The New York city authorities are
taking steps to stop the various gift
enterprises and lotteries which are
advertised soou to take place in the
city, in which they will undoubtedly
be successful. Therefore those who
invest in these enterprises are likely
to lose their money. ! ' '
Caught a Tartar.
A lew years ago, we were just
leaving New York for Boston, by one
or the tall Kiver boats, and were
seated with a few friend upon the
promenade deck of the steamer, look
ing down the pier, watching the last
arrivals and preparations for depart
ure, when, just as the last bell was
ringing, a carriage dashed down the
wharf, the driver leaped from his box
and a nicely dressed gentlemanly
looking man rather under the medium,
size, leaped out. grasping a leathern
valice in one hand, while the other
encased in a yellow kid glove,extend
ed a half dollar to the driver.
Coachy, however, indignantly refused
the coin, and demanded a dollar for
his services.
"A. dollar!" said the passenger
"why you have only driven me from
the head of Courtland street; it's not
a five minutes' drive.
"Can't help that, sir," replied the
driver, seeing that the. time was prec
ious. "We alwavs charge" a dollar
when a gentleman takes his valice in
side."
"Take the half dollar or nothing,"
said the passenger, his eyes sparkling
with anger, as lie observed that prep- j
arations were making to take in the!
steamer's gang planks.
The driver made a spring forward
and rudely seized hold of one of the
handles of the valice, saying as he did
so:
"Xo you don't yet don't take that
ere baggage awav till yer pavs a
dollar!"
The yellow-kidded palm that was
outstretched with the half-dollar clos
ed over it, and in a second the closed
fist was delivered in the hack driver's
face with a force that dropped him
like a shot. The next instant he was
on his feet, with clenched fists and
eyes of dire intent a strong rough
looking customer, much heavier than
Ids plucky little antagonist, who had
COT noil'll iki HAnArmiA! Ii-rtlis-vit. f-,-v,-J
u '" ,,,; 1U-U": jLl i
jo the short cloak he wore, and who, ;
i with a tall beaver hat.and kid gloves,
as he struck an attitude, rather excit-1
j cd a laugh at his facing such an adver- j
sary, witli an idea ot anything except j
I annihilation at the first onset. The j
knight of the whip sprang forward.
and aimed a blow which would have
-settled his fare.' had it taken effect.
A slight movement of the head to one
side, a quick horizontal extcntion of
the passenger's arm, and down went
coachy again, amid the shouts of the
spectators on the promenade
deck,
land the tlcligliteU exclamation ot one,
j 'that was a devlish straight counter
''it -
1llt jarvey wasn t satisfied up
again more caut ious lie still look-1
ed upon las little antagonist with '
contempt, and was determined to re-. piece o!" -i'.k dc-ei ihed by the wit
pay, with interest, the damage he I ness for the p:--!-.-.-utrn. a.id thieving
sustained. Another rush, with the , it down ;:i the table before the aston-ii.u-ntion
of getting in a smashing i jshctl law or, exclaimed :
blow, was encountered in a different : -There." take your pay out of that:
style.
The left foot was slipped asidf -;
;tv umv -.w itu. am un;
! hackman's ihi .went far past its desti-j
1-1.1 i .',
IU L' WVlt ( A.' (r1 tA 1 ,n otr o ii . 1 i hii
nation, wmie tlie arm ot ins opponent i
came down directly across the lower
part of his neck, whirling him half j
way round, and bringing his bask ;
close up to the left thigh of the little ;
man. 1 Here was a momentary strug-j,ncn up stairs there just say I didn't
gle the next time up went the driv-j steal it? AA'hat's the use" of vom
er's heels in the air,and down he came i trying to raise tho question of con-
tor the third time, bang upon the
pier, thrown Dy a movement Known
among the -fancy' as 'cross-buttock.'
""I'l"-"111 ' --.- no", uiaii
nnnnnn.l in 1a;q finiA (lion !
it lias taken to tell it and during its
performance the steamer's ropes were
cut off. and, as the driver fell, the
gang planks were drawn in, prepara
tory to starting. The passenger no
ticed this ; so, seizing his coat and
valice, he threw them-upon the boat
and with a run and a jump, alighted
on board, amid the outstretched arms
of the dock hands, to whom he hand
ed the halfdollar, which he iiad kept
clenched in his hand during the en
counter: while, as we steamed awav.
his late adversary, with Ins tace sadly
battered, was seen standing upon the
pier, shaking his fist in impotent rage
at the fast receding steamboat.
" Were you not afraid to go so
large a man ?" asked a gentleman, as
the little gamecock made his appear
ance on the promenade deck among
the passengers.
"Oh no, sir, said he,quietly cocking
his new hat a little more jauntily, and
tightening his gloves that had been
somewhat disarranged "not at all;
been to school, gentlemen '.''
A Goldln Thought. We know
not the author of the following, but
it is one of the most beautiul produc
tions ol the human mind we have
ever read :
'Nature will be reported. All
things are engaged in writing their
own History. itie plant ana tne
U 11 U lllUWVt J -'.' iuiu -s
pebble go attended by their own ihi
ows. The rock leaves its scratel
had-
hes
on the mountain side, the river its
bed in the soil, the animal leaves its
Lones in the stratum, tl e fern and the
leaf their modest epitaph in the coal.
The falling drop leaves its sepulcher
in the sand or stone ; not a footstep
in the snow or along the ground,, but
prints its characters more or less
lasting, a map of its march ; every
act of man inscribes itself . on the
memories of its fellows, and his own.
face. The air is full of sound the
sky of tokens ; the ground is all mem
oranda, signatures, and every object
is covered over with its hints which
speak to the intelligent."
Speak well of the aged.
A Case of Conscience.
Under the above heading the Dan
ville Express relates the following
We have lately heard a capital
story connected with a prominent
lawyer of our village, who has dis
tinguised himself in the defense of
our criminals, as well as in connec
tion with other trials, having frequent
ly, through his skill, aided the most
hardncd criminals to escape from jus
tice. Some time ago, while our friend
was attending court in an adjoining
county, he was applied to by a singu
lar specimen of humanity, charged
with grand larceny-, to defend him.
Tlie lawyer very naturally inquired
what crime he was accused of. The
accused replied that somebody had
been mean enough to charge him with
stealing $150 in bank notes, and had
got hin indicted.
"Are you guilty ?" asked the law
yer.
"That's none of your business," re
plied the accused. "They say that
makes 1.0 difference with you, wheth
er a man is guilty or not, you will try
to dig him out in some way. So don't
talk any more about guilty until you
hear what the jury savs."
"Well, what about the pay?" said
the lawver.
"You just hold on until the trial is
over; give K (the complain
ant) h 1 on tho cross examination,
and the other fellow he has got to
back him up.and you'll have no troub
le about the pay."
The trial commenced and proved
to be a somewhat protracted and ex
citing one. The District Attorney
proved the money in questiou was
composed of two $50 bills on a cer
tain bank, and the remainder .all in
$10 bills, all of which were wrapped
up in a piece of silk. The jury, after
listening to the counsel in the charge
of the Judge, retired and soon return
ed with a verdict of not guilty. The
accused, who was greatly elated with J
t t . .-.t i n t
tne result oi the trial and eilort ot his
counsel, invited the latter into one ol! again. I made my repeater strike;
the vacant jury 100ms. As soon as jit was no more than midnight; so
they were alone he slapped his coun- that, the horrible phantasmagoria has
scion the shoulder, and exclaimed : j lasted no more than two or three
"Free as water, ain't I?" AVhat's j
the use of trying a man for stealing j
when you're around ?
Now I s
pose
you want your yaw
"Yes: have vou got anything to
pay with ?" said the lawyer. j my calculations. I nevertheless do
' Lend me-your knife and we'll see ! not remember a single event iu ray
about that." i life of which the details are deeper
The lawyer rather startled at such engraved on my memory, and of which
a proposition rather reluctantly coin-i I preserve a more perfect conscious
plied. The accused immediately com-! ness."
inenced ripping and cutting away at!
soon ptv d iced ih ; roll of bil's for the
'
stealing of which lie had ins:, boon
tried, wrapped up in the .indicated , :
I ,rU0s there is enough " to oav vou '.
111 11. II
loionuny un1. ;
--Whv, vou villain ! vou stole that;
' i
money aler all, said the lawyer. ;
-Do you expect i can take anv of that i
money T !
-Stole that money ! Whv, what are j
you talking about? Did'nt them 12;
. ,v 1 (
science, alter twelve respectable men
. . 1 A, ,
linen nrnvitt tboil muniAii t h A cil i k.
iavC given their opinion on the sub-
iject? Take your pay out of that
1 ! .
anu asK no questions
Don't be mod
est in takiug: 1 irot
it easy enough
and you've worked hard enough lor
it."
Our informant did not state how!
much the lawyer took.but we presume!
the clrp didn't have much change left, j
alter our triend iiad satislied his "con
science" in the premises.
Gossip with Contributors.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.
Xo notis will be took-
-from this j
letters that I
j,ate hereafterwards ov
haint got a postage stamp onto them.
Don't write only on one side of the
manuscript, and don't write much on
to that.
Don't send a manuscript unless
you can read it yourself after it gets
dry.
AVe pay, all the way up hill, from
tn cents to one dollar for contribu
tions, according to the heft.
nu settlements made promptly
at tlie end of the next ensuing year.
Poetry and prose pieces are respec
tively solicited.
The highest market price pade for
awful ralerode smashes, and elope
ments with another man's wife.
No swearing aloud in our paper.
Isaac Your article on "frogs" is
received.
It made me laff like lightnin.
Yrour idea that "frogs might be in
creased by propagashun," iz bully.
Your idea that "frogs was discov
ered by Kristopher Columbust, in the
year 1492." had supped my memory.
You 'also say that frogs grow more
bobtailed as they grow older." This
iz too good to be entirely lost.
Npah AVe very humbly decline
your essa on the flood.
Your remarks might possibly lead
one more man to think as you do, and
we don't want our coll urns to be held
responsible for increasing the number
of phools.
The world has already got more
phools than there is enny need of.
There ain't no doubt in mi mind
but that the flood was a perfect suc
cess, and I have thought that another
ju3t such an one would pay well now
in some sections of the country.
A Singular Dream. The velocity
of thought while a person is sleeping
is a phenomena which has often ex
cited the attention of philosophers.
1 he best illustration of it which we
have seen is the following account of
a dream of Count Lavalette. At the
time of its occurrence, Lavalette was
in prison under the sentence of death,
which had been passed upon him for
conduct during the "hundred days:
"One night as I was asleep the clock
of the Palaise de Justice struck twelve,
and awoke me. I heard the gate
open to relieve the sentry, but I fell
asleep again immediately. In this
sleep I dreamed I was standing-in
the Rue -St. Honore, at the conor of
the de 1 Echelle. A melancholy dark
ness spread around me ; all was still
nevertheless a low and uncertain
sound arose. All of a sudden I per
ceived at the bottom of the street,
and advancing towards me a troop of
cavalry ; the men and horses however,
all Hayed. I he men held torches in
their hands, the red flames of which
illuminated faces with skin and bloody
muscles. Their hollow eyes rolled
fearfully in their large sockets; their
mouths open from ear to ear, and the
helmets of hanging flesh covered their
hideous heads. The horses dragged
along their own skins in the kennels,
which over-flowed with blood on both
sides. Pale and dishevelel women
appeared and disappeared alternately
at the window in dfsraal silence ; low
and inarticulate groans filled the air;
and I remained in the street alone
petrified with horror, and deprived of
strength sufficient to seek my safety
by flight. This horrible troop con
tinued passing in rapid gallop, and
casting frightful looks on me. Their
march I thought, continued five hours
and they were followed by an immense
number of artillery wagons, full of
bleeding corpses, whose limbs still
quivered: a disgusted smell of blood
and bitumen almost choked me; at
length, the iron gates of the prison
snuiting witn great torce awoke me
1 , r 1
minutes that is to saw the time nec
essary for relieving the sentry and
shutting the gate. 1 he cold was se-
vere and the watchword short. Thej
next dav the turnkey confirmed I
. m
n -V' . I hire llTMV ATM? A vAiinrr
man paving- special attention to aj
young ladv, met with the following
incident during one of his visits:
I Being invited into the parlor to
await tlie lady's appearance, he en
! tertained himself as best he might
! for some time, and was becoming
: weary, when a little girl five years of
jage slipped in and began to converse
! with him.
I can always tell," she said, "when
you are coming to our house."
-You can !" he replied, "aud how
do vou tell it ?"
"AVhy when you are going, to be
here sister begins to sing and get
I good, and she gives me cake and pie,
j and anything I want, and she sings so
O V. .Ht HUVU JUU UIV 111.11,. UUU H UUII
T . , , , ,
I speak to her she smiles so pleasant-
1
Iv. I wish vou would stay here all
the while, then I would have a good
time. But when you go off sister is
not good. She gets mad, and if I ask
for anything, she slaps and bangs me
about."
This was a proof for the young
man.
"Fools and children tell the truth,"
j quoted he ; and taking his hat, he
left and returned no more.
Moral Parents wishing their ill
natured daughters married should
keep their small children out of the
parlor when strangers are there.
Ax Incident .of the War. Af
ter the battle of Antietam and when
the hospitals and churches of AATash
ington were filled with the wounded
from that a- i orher holds of carnage,
a Ui.it ! Mates Senator from one of
the Western States desired me to ac
company him on a tour through the
hospitals. To this I readily assented
aiid we proceeded by the Judiciary
Square Hospital. After some time
devoted to the patients generally,' the
Senator inquired for soldiers from his
own State, and was first conducted
to the bedside of a German soldier.
The Senator inquired of the soldier
whether he was severely wounded,
and upon what part the wound was
located. The soldier replied .in rath
er broken English," Very mush wound :
I be shoot on mine arm, on mine right
le?. on mine han and on mine neck.
C7
1 very much shooted."
"But," said the Senator, "how came
vou by all these wounds r Did you
not stop fighting after you were first
wounded?
The soldier said :
"I did not stop so soon as dat
When I was shoot in the leg I fix him
up a leetle mit a rag, and then I could
firht shost as well. Bimebv a ball
come mit t'other leg : not much hurt.
fix him up, and fi'ht shu?t as well.
Then the dam reb shoot mine nan'
not much bad. fix him, and fight shust
as well. After, a while a ball come on
my neck, make big hole, knock me
down, feel very much mad now, put
hankerchief roun' him and fight shust
as well. Soon afttr another reb send
big ball, break mine arm, and then
stop." , - " : '
Newspaper Editors. It would be
difficult to compress more in a few
words than is found in the following
from the Chamber's Journal :
A newspaper editor must, like the
poet, be born to his calling, in the
majority of instances, no amount of
training will fit a person for such a
post unless he have a natural taste
and aptitude for this description of
literary labor; for,although many per
sons are able to write "leaders," or
literary articles, for a newspaper, few
can be entrusted with its editorial con
trol, few can scent out the libel whicl
lurks in almost every communication
few can distinguish the report intend
ed to please the speaker instead of
informing the nation, and the letters
written to serve private interests in
stead of public ends ; still fewer who
can tell at a glance the kind of litera
ry or political material which will pro
mote the circulation of a journal
in fact, a good editor's great difficulty
m not as to what he should nut in.
but what he should keep out of his
columns. Successful editors have hot
been great authors, but men of good
common sense, and their good common
sense has taught them to write but
ittle themselves, but to read.'iudse,
select, alter and combine the writings
of others.
Surratt in Jail at AVashington.
Judge Fisher issued a bench warrant
Tuesday, for rfurratt, to bring him be-
ore the criminal court for the Dis
trict of Columbia. Between four
and five o'clock Tuesday afternoon,
Marshall Gooding proceeded to the
navy yard and upon presentation of
the warrant. Admiral Radford deliv
ered Surratt to him. He was dressed
in the costume of the Roman Zouave,
which he had on when captured at Al
exandria, and was handcuffed. He
was taken in a hack to the jail,whcre
he was placed in one of the cells tit
ted up for murderers and other des
perate characters. There is no pos
sibility of his escape and no one will
be allowed to see him, excepting his
council and the officers of the prison.
The prisoner positively denies that
he is John II. Surratt.
The following resolutions were
ii ii n i (it i i ' : i 1 1 i i iii' fill-
r -
served -when I come to be old:"
Xot to marry a young woman.
Not to keep young company unless
they desire it.
Not to be peevish, morose, or sus
picious. Not to tell the same story over and
over to I lie ame people.
Not to be covetous the hardest of
all to be kept.
Not to neglect, decency or cleanli
ness, for fear of falling into nastiuess.
Not to be over severe with young
people, but to make allowance for
their youthful follies and weakness.
Not to be influenced by or give ear
to the knavish tattling of other ser
vants. Not to be too free of advice, nor
trouble any but those who desire
it.
To desire some good friend to in
form me which of these -resolutions
I break or neglect, and to reform ac
cordingly. Not to talk much, nor of myself
very hard again.
Not to barken to flatterers, nor con
ceive I can in; beloved by a young
woman.
Not to be positive or opiniouative.
Not to set up for observing all
these rules, for fear I should observe
none.
Southern Responses. A Wash
ington dispatch of Thursday says that
Charleston papers declare that the
South will never accept the "Sherman
bill," as they call the new Reconstruc
tion bill in the shape it passed the
Senate, before the House added the
AArilson and Shellabarger amendments.
The Richmond AYhig. also, after de
scribing the bill iu approbrious terms,
savs :
'The States of the South will de
cide the question for themselves,should
the Sherman substitute become a law
but for this State we can sav that the
present generation of Virginians must
pass away, and their sons and thei
sons sous, oeiore sue win seeic any
representation in Congress through
uch means, and especially such rep
resentation. Military rule may be
imposed on her, every device of State
torture may be applied, these will be
the shame of those who employ them,
not hers but she will never confess
a falsehood, nor affix the brand of in-
amy on her own brow. Never. 1"
Mail Robbery. The morning mail
over the Ilenselaer & Saratoga Rail
road, containing the letters mailed at
Saratoga and Fort Edward for the
north and east, on the 18th inst., was
robbed between Comstock,s Landing
ahd Whitehall. Letters torn into
fragments were scattered along the
track lor a mile or more, lne au
thorities are on the track of the thief.
The New York Herald confirms
the report which we had from "Perley"
two or three dayb ago, that h. Jr.
Blair, Senior, was to! visit Boston to
reauest Gov. Andrew to' accept the
Dosition of Secretary of state, it is
said that the visit i3 made by authrity
and in the interest of those who favor
universal suffrage and universal am
nasty. Boston Journal. ' "
A merchant's advice in selecting a
wife, was, 'get a piece of calico that
mil wash." ;-'-
TEMPERANCE COLUMN".
A "Word to Mothers. .a short
time ago a lady, moving in the best
circles of Cincinnati a lady whose
father's name was widely know as
an eminent banker and prominent
Christian philanthropist; alady whose
husband's voice had been listened to
with respect in the halls of Congress
and on the floor of the General Assem
bly of the Presbyterian Church she,
the child of the Church was picked up
from the gutter by a policeman and
borne to her home drunk. How Lad
she come to this? She had never
tasted wine till her first child was
born. Her physician recommended
it to her a3 needful for the restora
tion of strength. The demon soon
had the mastery o er her. So has it
been with thousands of the noblest
of women women of culture and re
finement, of warm sympathies and
strong affections. In an evil hour,
recommended by the doctor a man
of skill and eminence in his profession
to take a little wine, brandy, ale,
or bourbon, as a stimulant, to give
strength and tone to the system, mofh-
ers have begun to use intoxicants.
Soon the temptation became irresisti
ble; and then followed such scenes
as described. Nor does the evil rest
with the parents. Oh! no. From
the very nature of alcohol children
suffer.
Sir Anthony Carlisle, has well
said, "Of all errors in the employment
of fermented liquors, that of giving
them to children seems to be fraught
with the worst consequences. The
next in the order of mischief is their
employment by nurse, and which I
suspect to be a common occasion of
drop3y of the brain in young infants.
I doubt much whether the future mor
al habits, the temper, and intellectual
propensities, are not greatly influenced
by the early effects of fermented liqu
ors upon the brain and sensorial or
gans." The plain fact is, that if alcoholics
are drank by mothers, the alcohol
goes into the milk, and is so given to
the child indirectly, and the effects
are all the same. It never improves
the quality, but makes it more watery
with less casein or nutrimen and
even less oil, as analysis has often de
monstrated what the effect is. Dr.
Inman states, "I have known a glass
of whisky-toddy, taken by the mother,
to produce sickness and indigestion in
the child twenty-lour hours thereaf
ter." Dr. E. Smith, in Practical Dietary,
makes a similar statement. "Alco
hols are largely used by many per
sons in the belief that they support
the system and maintain the supply
of milk for the infant; but I am con
vinced that this is a serious error, and
is not an unfrcqucnt cause of fits and
emaciation iu the child."
A"e have no doubt that the convul
sions, from which multitudes of child
ren die. arise in many instances from
inflammation produced by taking the
alcohol in the mother's milk. Banish
intoxicants from the sick room, let v.o
alcohol be taken by the mother, the
nutritious food with which nature has
supplied her for her infants not pois
oned, and not only will the health of
the mother be better, but the children
will suffer nothing from flatulency or
other complaints that torture infancy
nursed on milk poisoned with alcohol.
Their indigestion has not been iujured-
or their tender nerves and brain ex,
cited by spirits in any form, and there
fore are healthy and strong. I lie
command given to Samson's mother
was not arbitrary, but physiological.
Had his mother drank either wine or
strong drink.it would have required
aconstaut miracle from God. to ex
tract the poisonous stimulant from his
frame, and to heal the hourly injuries
that would have inflicted on his stom
ach, brain, nerves, and muscles. In
toxicating liquors might have made a
weakling and a pigmy ot teamson.
And therefore God enjoined "total
abstinence" both on him and his moth
er. Temperance Advocate.
A Bottomless Jug. A clergyman
in his travels met with an emigrant
journeying with his family to the fer
tile regions of the Mississippi. He
had all his worldly goods packed on
on wagons ; and on one wagon there
hung a hnge jug, with the bottom
knocked out. He asked him why he
carried that with him :
"Why," said he, "that is my Taylor
ug,
4And what is a Taylor jug ?" asked
my friend.
"Why," said he, "I had a son with
Gn. Taylor's army in Mexico, and
the old General always told, him to
carry his whisky jug with a hole in
tho bottom ; and since that time I
lave carried mv jug as you see it ;
and I find it is ti e very best invention
l ever met with."
- Water isn't a fashionable beverage
or drinking your friends' health, but
it is a capital one for drinking your
own!
Go not for erery grief to the phy
sicians, for every quarrel to the law
yerinorfor every thirst to the ale-
"Why is a negro's head like an en
gine ? Because it carries passengers.
The age of a young lady is now ex
pressed according to the present
style of hoop skirt3, by saying that
18 springs have passed over her head.
A paper mentions the arrest of a
woman with nothing .on her person
but a love letter and a daguerreotype.
-
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