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THE NEW NOKTHWEST, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 1880.
THE MIRTHFUL MUSE. MISCELLANEOUS ADVERTISEMENTS. MISCELLANEOUS ADVERTISEMENTS. MISCELLANEOUS-ADVERTISEMENTS. PLAIN TRUTH. He' swears that he will cleave to her, His best, his ownest love; Then leaves hex In the theater, And goes out for a clove. THE FEMININE DAUBER. Shave, lady, shave with care, And If to see a sight so rare Should rouse a customer's dandalre, You know your weapon pull his hair. FATE. A little peach In the orchard grew A little peach of emerald hue. A little boy he climbed the fence, And took that peacli from hence to thence. A FRAUD. Whan a man wears patent-leather pumps, Or canvas Oxford ties. The boot-black, seeing him, sits down And mournfully sighs. ITS PRICE. The rosebud that burns In her hair, And makes her look sweet and sublime, .And lights up her features poetic and fair, Cost Just half a dime, PASTORAL. He softly kissed his sleeping wife, Then, with a lingering look Of fond affection, straightway went And kissed her pretty cook. Alas 1 for him the gentle wife He thought Hsleep vras not, Ami for her cook, and hubby, too, She made it mighty hot. A GARDEN IDYL. J see her in the garden path; She seems a thing so coy and shy, I stop and gaze, but not in wrath, Upon hor beaming eye. Whereat she timidly withdraws Behind a bush, from human ken; .No chagrin at my bosom gnaws She Is a speckled hen. A MIGHTY WARRIOR. "I fought .with Hancock," said the man To the admiring crowd, Who greeted the assertion bold With cheers both long and loud. "But," he went on, "'twas when we both Were boys attending school. I fought with him and lleked him till He bellowed like a mule." THE BABY'S PAP. "Here, John, don't eat those crackers up," SaM she with hateful snap; They're some I saved on purjxe To pnt In the baby's pap." Well," said John, edging (on the door, Ami reaching for Ills hat, - What makes you so cross about it, then? Ain't I the babys pap ? MARITAL DEGRADATION. .Captain Corn, J ii the garden. Straight and strong and tall No matter how high his netghbora grow, ' lie overtops Diem all. AVttlt silken attune and bright green eJok, He really eats a tfaeh: Hot when he inacrleo lima lleaa, He'll lose his rank ttB awful mean And be jtlain Soeeo Taeh. A FOSSlbfAN BALLAD. I sine ttte Xtekajo, The eamtreretK Klnkaloa, Who fell In love with the prodigal mm Of an aatedltavtan mastodon; And when in tore eo prond she grew The prehensile tall of MIm Kinkajou Curled round with an extra kink or two. They danced the mataehln, -roe eiegam auiacntn. . They'd hardly aeeomplisbed a step or two. When the plantigrade heel of Ulm Xlakajoa l, psri toe coiiaaiai lonn oi ine one She lored yea, even the graceful son Of the antedilaviaa wintlodon. Alas! for the mataehln. For the stately mataehln. Uprose the nachyaermatoox son Of the anteditavlatt mastodon, And bade her adlea, with never a tear. Bat munched an aiutwah yp90a. Commenting on heels In a manner severe. Alas! for the Krnkaioa, The deserted Ktakajba. She wept for the antoeehedlastical son Of the antedilarlan mastodon; Then wiped her eyes, and wearily sighed, Uncurled the toil, now tihorn of its pride. Turned np her plantigrade heels, and died. Hie Prussian Government is seriously thinking of abolishing civil ninrriages. It is shocked at the vMe spread of irreligionand rationalism, and con siders that some step like that contemplated is necessary to recall the people to a sense of their religious duties. At thirty we are all trying o carve our names m big letters upon the walls of this tenement of life; twenty years after we have carved it, or shut up our jackknifc. PROFESSIONAL. JOKK K. XITC1IKI.T. KAI.l'lt M. DKMKNT. MITCHELL & DEMENT, A ttorneyg-ai-Law. OFFICE Corner First and Morrison streets, in rooms for- jmerly oeenpled by mienters ncmre tjanery. 1. V. IWLFK. K. C. JiHONACGH. JOSKl'JI SIMON. C A. nOMW. DOLPH, BRONAUCH, DOLPH &. SIMON, Attorncys-at-Iaw, -ODD FELLOWS' TEMPLE, PORTLAND, OHHfON. 2-MU DR. J. C. CLENN, Dentist, SonUiweat corner First and Yainhlll streets. PORTLAND, OREGON. MISS DR. ANCIE L. FORD. OFFICE Rooms 1 and 6, Monnastes Building, 187 ami llv rirm. mm. II JCSIDEN CE No. M West Iark street (corner of Stark). iW Special attention given to Diseaees of Women Mtd unuwren. MRS. DR. M. J. SOLANDER, JVcio School Physiofan, BfAS RECENTLY ARRIVED IN THIS CITV. AND L will pay parUeular attention to the Chronic iksanees of Women ami Children during hor stay. Shewn Its ami suited free at Room 17, Occidental Hotel. She is nreimred eoHu!tayon sir! oily confidential w kWrYlTl .1 "www women. All oet MARSHALL & CO. Stalls TXos. 4, 5, 6 and 7, Central Market The Central Rendezvous and Depot For everybody to purchase nil descriptions of STAPLE AND FANCY GROCESIES. We are now displaying AN IMMENSE STOCK OF NEW GOODS, Purchased with special rcferonce to the demands of our Large and Increasing Trade. Our Prices are lower than those of Any Other House in the City, and our Goods are all Fresh, Hew and Well Selected. XTTE EARNESTLY INVITE THE ATTENTION ' of Housekeopeers, Heads of Families, Hotel and Boarding House Keepers, etc. to whom special Inducements will be otrered to our facilities for supplying thorn with the bait-cla of goods at the Lowest Possible Price. nsrGoods delivered free ami promptly to every part of the alty, also to nil trains and stenmhentg. REMEMBER THE PLACE, The Central Market Grocery Store, Stalls Nos. 4, 3, G and 7. W. H. MARSHALL & CO. USE ROSE PI LLS. FUEISCHNER, MAYER & CO., Front and First streets, between Atsh and A, Importers and Wholesale Dealers. FALL SEASON. TVifR. MAYKR HAS MADE VERY EXTENSIVE PUR iU. ehaaes of a tall line of MXLI-,IaV3SX5.'Y GOODS, Direct from the Manufacturers and Importers lit New York. Oar Stock will consist of the latest styles and shades of Feathers Plumes, French Flowers, HATS, SHAPES, Plain, Gros Grain and Fancy Ribbons, SILKS, VELVETS, SATINS, ETC., Towhteh we Invito the attention of the Millinery Trade of Oregon and Washington Termor'. Being the only Wholesale HouBe In the State importing MILLINERY GOODS direct from New York, wo will bo prepared to oiler extra Inducements to our Friends and Patroiip. 5-fK FISHEL & ROBERTS. GRAND REDUCTION OF PRICES I IN Fall and Winter Clothing! Manufactured by Mr. Roberts in New York Spe cially for Fine Trade. BOYS' AND CHILDREN'S CLOTHING A Specialty. FISHEL & ROBERTS, Cor. First and Morrison Sis., PORTLAND "'"wn i humw, sMjmes ees mi. OREGON D. W. PRENTICE & CO. The Leading Music Dealers NORTH QF SAN FRANCISCO. THE LARGEST STOC K OF PI A3STOS ! I'rtim 8-00 to 8L000! THE LARGEST STOCK OF O DEL Gr 3ST S ! I'rom 8100 to $7001 THE IjARGKST STOCK OF SHEET MUSIC AND BOOKS! In the Northwest. Instruments oj all Kinds SloW on liasy Payments. X. AV. PRENTICE .Sc GO'S Monthly Musical Journal, Whleh contain from $15 to 2u worth of new voeal aitd Instrumental music ami valuable anil interest ing reatiluft matter etteli year. Only Tn Cents cr "Vottx. D. W. PRENTICE fc CO., No. 107 First Street, PORTLAND .REGON REMODELED; NEW TEACHERS, NEW METHODS. Devoted lo the preparation for lusineK a flairs of either sex or any age, in H 8jw'iHl course of look keep! tic, pcti inanshlp. iHisiiiexsealrulalion, forniKMiul usaex, eoimner elal law, busltiei correMndeiiee, nnd a practical training in the English branches. For full Information. cull upon or address W. LYNN WHITE, Manner and Proprietor. OPFICH 123 Front street, or Hox lftl, Tortland, Or. au2(5 5 WASHINGTON KTRF.KT, PtiRTLAND, ORK00N.RE spoctfully requewtH all the n-.ulers of the NeNokth WKtiT who have work In hfs line to call upon or address him. Estimates given on application, and all Inquiries promptly answered. 8-11 Eastern and Shoalwater Bay Oysters! .AT.. AUSK1T & HEGELE'S, rirst Street, lietMcen Alder mid Morrison. sel THE AURORA RESTAURANT, Northwest corner Front and Alder streets, Is the Only Place in Portland where you can got A OOOI1 SatAKK ME A I. Foil 2.5 t'EXTS. corbi:tt's LIVERY, HACK AND FEED STABLES, Corner Second mid Taylor NtrectH. Reasonable ChnrBes for Hire nnd Hoarding. Hack orders promptly attended. Day or Night. WOODWARD & MAG00N, Proprietors. NOTICE TO MlLLBNEfiS WE HAVE OPENED OUR HVaEann m otla. Stools. ,.0. MIIililNESRY GOODS! Direct from the Manufacturers, Persons Visiting this City are Spe cially Invited to Examine Our Stock Before Purchasing. LEWIS & STRAUSS, Nq, 123 First Street, OLDS & SU ERS, Xj.ZVEIS ! OILS! Crockery and Glassware I A SPECIALTY OF LAMPS AND OILS! A Complete Assortment of the Latest Styles of Chandeliers. SOLE AGENTS FOR John MaddeckA. Son's Royal Semi-Porcelain, The Best in the Market. rpiIE CELEBRATED "HERO" OIL REST IN USE FOR I Ple Uy w only. Orders from the country promnUv filled. Semi and try HERO OIL. Satisfaction CTaSteed. We are here to please. OLDS A SUMMERS? . NiKlSt First street, Portland, Or. I I,. -JIINOLEK, 1 Portland. F. ( II DBOrRNE, S:in Franciseo. Established 1857. SHJNDLER & CHADBOURNE, Front and First Sis., hot. Morrison and TiuiilillI, PORTLAND, OREGON, Wholesale and Retail Dealers In Furniture and Bedding! OF EVERY DESCRIPTION, 0 Carpets, Oil Cloths, Mirrors, Wall Papers, Etc. OLDEST HOUSE IN THE FURNITURE TRADE. Headquarters for School Desks Fine Furniture a Specialty. FACTORY, FOUR MILES FROM EAST PORTLAND. sel6 tf PORTLAND MECHANICS' FAIR! 18SO. THE ANNUAL EXHIBITION ..OK THE.. Portland Mechanics' Fair Association Will be opened on the Ttli and close on the 23d of October. qiHE PAVILION IS BEING ENLARGED BY THE AD iJf..ll!t! f two w 'W- The south wing is destined for the 1 oral Display, and the north win for the Machinery hlbltejl. INTENDING EXHIBITORS will please fUe am plications for space at an early date, by applying to the superintendent. Room 38, Union Block1, where all Informa tion eoncernlnethe Fair will be cheerfully given. By order of the Board of Directors. s'g ' E. OLDENDORFF, Superintendent USE ROSE PILLS. OREGON TRANSFER COMPANY. Conoral Forwarding and Commission. Freight and Baggage forwarded and delivered with dis patch. Pianos and Furniture moved. Orders for Hacks promptly attended to, Day or Night. Office S. W. Cor. Nccoud nnd Stark St.H. nsj- Mark, Caro of O. T. Co. -SU THE AMERICAN Steam Dyeing and Cleaning Works DYE AND CLEAN ALL KINDS OF SILK. W00LFN and mixed goods, after tho best nnd newest German mid Fronch systoms. Kid Gloves and Feathers cleaned and died by n now process Blankets nnd Furs cleaned nicely. Cleaning and dyeing Gonts' Clothing n speclnlty. J r ,na . - CONRAD & CO., No. 10 Salmon street, Portland, Oregon. A.