Puget Sound weekly Argus. [volume], November 16, 1877, Image 2

About Puget Sound weekly Argus. [volume] (Port Townsend, W.T. [Wash.]) 1876-1882

Image provided by: Washington State Library; Olympia, WA

                
WEEKLY .\l:ul'.~
M Tm“. Monm- Cmny. V Y
ALLII '11! "no! at Prom-Lu
Joy (iv-HI II the Inning
I hot “on Io run in the Inn mm,
A“ u‘n Illa! um. . ud Inn-l.
h‘ 0|! II"! b yvy Ohm the mm: In“!
In [lnflow amount «4 bounty mull.
We m In the mnnm not
Olr ud bum lung (or Ihr mm, day.
when the lmuhlu n! lilo dull raw.
When flu lurk} undo-n nun fie guy.
And the bow wc'u- cherished no mm (It
ny—
lu the «In F" darn-l pure.
“(not lhm in gvh-f in the night :4 pain;
There . lormwu nml hiuu In".
Out but It toned on the hlllmvy main-
But the gloomy shadows begin to wane,
Pot the glorioun dly Ippurs.
anow we Ire and when the rhllllnx hlnd
0! the emu-l of Death lellld
0n the cherlshed Imm: of the household
head.
And we long and nigh {or the better lend,
Where the flowers shell never lsde.
I know there I: peace in the “by and by,"
When the ulnte shall he gathered home.
We shell 1m our eyes to the sunny sky,
‘And about. for joy as the ehldowe fly,
And the glorious day Ihul come.
—Lilla D. Avery.
-_-=—___.-:_-= '
Wedding Fee Egfiaordinnry.
It is not uncommon to hear of good
natnred clergymen who accept a half
bushel of beans or a few poun aof dried
apples as a. recompense for performing
a marriage ceremony; and there are in
stances on record w new they have even
omeiated on credit. But the Dominion
ministers are made of sterner stufi'. A
clergyman at East Bolton, Quebec, re
cent y seized a bride as security for the
non-payment of his fee by the imgecu
nious bridegroom. and the husban had
to give security for the $1.25 ere he could
obtain his spouse.
We clip the above item from one of
our exchanges, but do not believe that
many clergyman ever had a more laugh
able experience in that line than one of,
our best known New York preachers, who
once accepted a strange fee, nolena octane.
This is the story.
Many years ago, he was sitting in the
office of a lawyer who was one of his
members, chatting on various subjects,
and asthe pastor happened to speak of
the hard times, and the dilatoriness of
the church in paying his small salary,
the lawyer remarked:
“Now I hardly agree with you, pastor, ‘
in your assertion that ministers are paid ,
less for their work than any other class‘
of Yrofessional men. They have a rest
dea given to them in one way and an
other, donation parties, Christmas pres
ents, etc. Then the item of wedding fees
alone, which' you seldom hear them speak
about, but which must. amount to quite a
sum, several hundred dollars in the course
of the year, brings them in a good rev
enueJ
“Do you think 303” said the clergy
mnu. “Now to come right down to dots.
what do you suppose is the average fee
Ith I receive!"
“I should say twenty dollars was a
low estimate," eeid the lawyer. Here in
New York I have often knowu persons
to give one hundred dollars, and a fifty»
dollar fee is quite common, but consider
ing the fsct that you marry s good many
of the poor, or those who are only mod
erstely well off, as well as the rich, I
should think, as I said, that twenty dol
lsrs was a pretty low avenge.”
“That celculution is rather large," said
the minister, “but still I cannot tell exact
ly, es 1 have not reckoned up what I have
received this test year."
“No.l presume not,” said the lawyer.
“I have noticed that ministers don‘t gen
erally know how much they have re
ceived, when the sum is pretty large, but
I rather think they would if it was a
small one. But I will tell you what I
will do. I will give you ten dollars for
half your next fee, and don't: believe I
shell lose anything by it either. Do you
secept that?“
The minister hesitated s moment and
then seid, “Yes, well, yes; I'll accept
thigh—ten dollsrs for half the next fee."
He soon bade him good morning, and
went home to his dinner. While he was
at the table the bell rang. and the ser
vant came'in, saying a man at the door
wished to see him a moment. He found
I rough-looking farmer standing there,
who Iccosted him thus:
“Good morning, Dr. A. I came in to
no if you could just tie me up, this
morning. Sal and Ihave been talking
about it a good while, and we've come to
the conclulion that ‘tuint any use to wait
no longer.“
“Oh, yes." laid the doctor, “walk in.
Will in. Where did you want to be mar
tied!"
“Right here," Mid the farmer, “if you're
willin'. 311': in the Wagon, and I’ll
bring perju." _ _ ‘ ‘
80 ha brought in a blooming country
maid, and the minister, who had dofi'cd
hi: gown and slipped on his best Sunday
god-meeting cont, made them one. in his
most impressive style. After the cere
muy ad the congratulations, the farmer
d:
“About the fee. pastor, We bain‘t much
money. but I thought your children
might be fond of pew“) I m‘d Sal [
would just bring one of our pups." Sny
ing which be tipped up 3 mm] box, and
out rolled I little white pup upon the
pine.
-. ~'v' 1 1..tl m i‘uu _\' ||"lln h
~ ‘ "' .s-l '.‘-i|"i"_'l'"ll.
'l ‘ . "It ”-1. I -|..A‘ 'n‘fll'ni
' . : ‘.. PM“ I;na-t!I!L""‘i
: 4 H '.-!.l'~i::.-v'"un
_ " ' . : [- ‘-..'-?-. \ Link Alli-Hm
' x i'.l m ' ‘til‘il":s.|llili-‘Tlitt'
an. - '| I
ll - 'lil a..~ -'-. '.- Milli.“ I m n-r
‘ m ... uni Imt'iw I vlwl tr IMMi
.‘. ~~ ' "l'\ "\ 9.|\ll'_
'29. Q“ 1, ~ M: a. “it i) l ‘H'II'P'J". _\"-l.'l
‘ r " :~ [ll- I:..ig, ’tul i-ii tutni lime in
t m. .t s-A'H t- t ‘vm IL-m-i lhnrully
:I. m l s! ..u. t Futu- u'u ptui it in: If“! k}
v) tail kuuwnl wutuuntryncuuple
i“ «iu. mm urem- ,u. h an unu-ual snd
unruu'h-‘l it‘i‘, Hem-rally tin-w is not
w mm In «i'li'rrrurr ill them. but this mm a
pelt-wt slirpll-I' tn the." ‘
~-_\'.. imi'kihg out. now." suid the law
yq-v, "tint hmguin was fuir and square,
and you I'lillrt hold to it. ilrre‘s your,
uh «I '“lliP; hnnd over the (00!"
The minim-r demurred a moment, told ,
him he should beware how he made such 1
rush promises again; but finally, unfast
ening the cover of the bonsnid: “All
right, l'll stand by the burgsin." tum
bled out the pup upon the lawyer‘s desk,
and with the blandest smile upon his
lace, waving his hand and bowing polite
ly. he said. “Here is the fee—which hay
will you tnket"
The blank look of amazement and dis
gust w hich oversprend the countenance of
the lawyer as he looked at the roll of
puppiness, was amusing to see.
“You don‘t mean it, that you married
a couple, and that. was your fee?"
“indeed it Was,“ said the minister,
“and the farmer who presented it thought
he was doing it handsome thing!"
Then, with s hearty laugh, the lawyer
handed him the gold piece, and told him
that he thou ht he had nothing more to
say in regardl to the enriching of minis
ters hy wedding-fees.—Hra. James 8.
Dickinson, in the Standard.
The Christian Revenge.
Obadiah Lawson and Watt Dood were
neighbors. Dood was the oldest settler,
and from his youth up had entertained a
singular hatred against Quakers. There
fore, when he was informed that Lawson,
a regular disciple of that class of 'peopl'e, ‘
had purchased the next farm to is. he
declared he would make him glad to‘
move away again. Accordingly a system i
of petty annoyances was commenced by ‘
him, and every time one of Lawson’s
hogs chanced to stray uson Dood's place,
he «as beset by men an dogs and most
savagely abused. Things went on thus
for nearly a year, but the Quaker, a man
of decided peace principles, appeared in
no way to resent the injuries received at
the hands of his spiteful neighbor. Mat
ters. however, were drawingtoacriais,
for Dood, more enraged than ever at the
quiet of Obadiah, made oaths that he
would do something before long to wake
up the spunk of Lawson. Chance fa
vored his design. The Quaker had a.
high-blooded filly, just four years old,
which he had been very careful in raising.
Lawson took great pride in this animal,
and had refused a large sum of money
for her.
One erening, a little after sundown, as:
Watt Dood was passing around his corn
field, he discovered the filly feeding in
the little strip of prairie land that sepa
rated the two farms, and he conceived
the fiendish design of throwing 011' two
or three rails of his fence that the horse
might get into his corn during the night.
He did so; and the next morning, bright
and early, he shouldered his rifle and
left the house. Not long after his ab
sence a hired man whom he had recently
employed heard the echo of his gun, l
and in a few minutes Dood, considerably i
excited and out of breath. came hurry-l
ing to the house, where he stated he had i
shot and wounded a buck, that the herd ‘
had attacked him, and that he had hard
ly escaped with his life.
This story was credited by all but the
-newlytt-mpioyed band, who had a dislike
to Watt, and, from his manner, suspected
that something was wrong. He there
fore slipped quietly away from the house,
and going through the field in the direc
tion of the shot, he suddenly came upon
Lawson‘s filly stretched upon the earth,
with a bullet hole through his head, from
which the warm blood was still oozing.
The animal was still warm and could not
have been killed an hour. He hastened
back to the dwelling of Dood, who met
him in the ard and demanded, somewhat
roughly, wiiere he had been. “l‘ve been
to see it' your bullet made sure work of
Mr. Lawson‘s filly," was the instant re
to: t. Watt paied for a moment, but rec
‘ollecting himself he fiercely shouted,
“Do you dare to say I killed hart"
"How do you know she is deadi" replied .
lthc man. Dood bit his lip, hesitated a
Imoment, and then walked into the house.
lA couple of days passed by, and the
morning of the third one had broken, as
the hired man met Lawron riding in
search of his filly. A few words of ex
planation ensued, when with a heavy
heart the Quaker turned his horse and
rode home, where he informed the peo
ple of the fate of his tilly. No threat of
recrimination escaped him; he did not
even go to law to recover damages, but
calmly awaited his plan and hour of re
venge. It came at last.
Watt Dood had a Durham heifer, for
which he paid a heavy price, and upon
which he counted to make great gains.
One morning, just as Obadiah was sit
ting down to breakfast, his eldt st son
came in with the information that neigh
bor Dood‘s heifer had broke down the
fence, entered the yard, and after eating
most of the cabbages, had trampled the
i well-made beds, and the vegetables they
contained, out of all shape—a mischief
iimpossible to repair. “And what did
itbee do with her, Jacobi“ quietly asked
Hhatii‘h. “I put 111-r in the fum ytlrul."
“llhl the-- hut her?" "i never bllltt'k
her I blow." “flight. .ht'olo. tight. hit
ulutn to thy “truthful. sud than (IIIDC
eating I null nth-ml In tho- heifer "
Manly ul‘ta-r he hml tini-hwi Lie to
paint law-on mounted in none and Univ
over to haul}, who run ~lttingunlhc~
Err-h In tront of the house. mini is- he
held thn Quaker tii~mnuut, nuipow-l
he Wu coming In QII'II‘IIIII'I [my for hiu
titly. uul wrintly more he woulcl hm‘r
ill L"! [lt lnl‘ for it, if It!‘ 11111. "(i-HNI
tlmrntnu, neighbor 111-ml; how is thy
tnmil)!" utluitm-«i titmiinh, us in
tuountetl the rite.» untl M'MNI himself in
n clnir. "All Well. I believe." mm the
reply. “I lun'eniunell ntl'air to settle
with thte this morning. and I came
5 rather enlly." “So I suplmm-fl' growled
' Watt. "This morning my run found thy
‘ Ihirlmm heifer in my garden. where she
‘ destroyed it good deal.“ “And “hut tlidj
:he do with her!" demanded Dom], his
‘ brow darkening. “Anti nhat Would theej
ilmve done with her, haul she been my;
lheil'er in thy mudenl" asked ()budith
“I'd have ehot. her." retorted Watt, mnd- i
ly. “as I suppose you have. done, but we,
are even now; heifer for filly is only 'titl
for tet.‘ " "Neighbor Dood, thou know
eat me not, if thou thinkest I would
limrm a hair on thy heifer’s back. She is
iiu my furm-yiird, and not even a blow
Illls been struck her. where thee can get
her at any time. I know thee shot my
filly, but the evil one prompted thee to
duit, and I lay no evil to my heart
against my neighbor. I came to tell thee
where thy heifer is, and now I‘ll go
home.”
Obadiah rose from the chair and was
about to descend the steps, when he was
stopped by Walt, who hastily asked,
“Wlmt was your filly worth'l'y “A hun
dred dollars is what I asked for her." re
plied Obadiah. “Wait." And Doud
rushed into the house, whence he soon
returned with some gold. “Here's .the
price of your filly. nnd hereafter let there
be a nlensuntness between us."
Obadiuh mounted his horse and rode
home with a lighter heart, and from that
day to this Dood has been as geod a
neighbor as one could wish to have, be
ing completely reformed by the returning
of good for evil.
Dyspepsia.
It‘ a man wishes to get rid of‘ dyspepsia
he mustgive his stomach and brain less to
do. It; will he of m) uervice for him to
follow any particular regimen—to live on
chaff bread, or any such stuff—to weigh
his food, etc. so long as the brain is in
a constant btllte of excitement. Let that
have proper rest, and the stomach will
perform its functions. But if he .pnss
fourteen or fifteen hours a day in his
office or counting room, and take no ex
ercise, his stomach will inevitably become
paralyzed, and if he puts norhiutr into it
lit a tracker a day it will not (Tigeat it.
Iu many cases it is the brain that is the
primary cause. Give that delicate organ
some rest. Leave your business behind
you when you go to your Ironic. Do not
sit. to your dinner with your brows knit,
and your mind absorbed in cusling up
interest accounts. Never abridge the
usual hours of sleep. Take more or less
exercise in the open air every day. Al
low yourself some innocent recreation.
Eat moderately, slowly, and of what you
please, provided it. should not be the
shovel and tongs. If any particular
dish disagrees with you, however, never
touch it or look at. it. Do not imagine
that you must live on rye bread or.oat
meal porridge; a reasonable quantity of
nutritious food is essential to the mind as
well as the body. Above all. barfish all
thoughts upon the subject: If you have
any treatises on dyspepsia, domestic
medicine. etc., put them directly into the
‘tire. It‘you are constantly talking and
,thinking about dyspepsia, you willsurely
;haveit. Endeavor to forget that you have
a stomach. Keep a clear conscience;
live temperately, regularly, cleanly; be
industrious, too, but be temperate—Ap
pletom’ Journal.
ONE had a watermelon in n basket and
the other ablg piece of corned beef on
her arm, as they met at the Central mar
ket yesterday, and chatted fur a moment.
One had evidently been married but n
few days, as the other queried—
“ Well. how do you like your second
husband?"
W110i), he’s fair—very fair, but you see I
don't understand him very well yen" was
the answer.
“No trouble,l hope?“
"oh,lno, though for about a week I
feared there might be. He Went around
looking and and down-hearted, sighed
every five minutes, and wouldn't: answer
till I had spoken several times. I really
got alarmed."
“And what was the mutter—colic,
heart disease or nguel"
“I couldn‘t make out. as I told you;
but he finally explained that he had an
other wifo in Cunnde and feared she
might comchere. There the poor man
wee worrying athout it for days and (lnyn,l
and I was thinking he was mad or going:
crazy. It wasngrent relief to both of
us when he told me the real fuels, and
now we shall change our name to Thomas.
move into a house facing the alley, and
live as happy as bees."—All. Quad)
A SIAM. colored boy at Chathnm, Can
ada, held one end of a whip-stock in his
month while mming, and, falling, the
stick was driven through the back of his
neck, requiring the strenglh of a power
ful man to pull it. out. The spinal cul
umn was not hit and the child is again
quite well.
THEY are going to dramatize the Tweed
revelations. An opera Ins already been
composed about him.— William Tell.
The Dutch l’ahlon {or Washing.
Every Saturday morning the Dutch
wumcn nah their home. on the outside.
scrubbing them {run pavement to «him
m-y. Any point tint is toolrigh for broom
nr lul-ler may ruch by I {arcing pump.
out of ne-rly (-vvry window any be mu
I wanna, u'retching hem-If half In, ma.
perhn‘ln, lilh a brush Ind clnthu-nch‘
ing u u-r some (untied dirt-rpm! nr duh
ing a pail nr wltgr It it.
It i!- uuderstnod at this time that thtl
{mm is gin-n up tn cleaning. and the
lum-n-by ot‘ the pm-o-im-nt brluw lnu'e
nu right to enuiplnin it they get 3 Iboict
ut' Inter and and‘ over their lit-win. The
spiders have been driven uut nt' llullsind,
or left in disgust; and I do not think I
ever um 8 fly anywhere in the etiuutry.
Nu swalluwn nreullnwed tn dirty up their
houses nr Mahler. und itrnngo tn my. one‘
see: nu birds about whatever. except the
omnipresent stnrku, which are Illuwod,‘
by specinl favor. to build their nests in'
the chimney-tops, owing to a particulnrt
venerutimn which the Dutch have fur this
bird. likely because it is n water-fowl. or
rather n Miter and land-fowl; or like the
Dutch themselves, an amphibious swamp
animal.
As you go through a Dutch town the
most common sight is the women washing
in the canals. ()n tmthpidcmt'rom one end
of the street to the other,they nmy be seen
at. all times of the duym‘ushing everything
from n. bnhy‘s stocking to a tnblccloth;
nnd,when they have nothing else to wash.
they wash out their brooms and brushes
and tubs and themselves. Sometimes the
whole canal hes the appearance of flow
ing with soup-suds.
The Dutch have learned the art of
washing and everything connected with
it so well that other countries often send
their linen there to be washed and
bleached, especially the large mnnufnc
tories. The meadows outside of :1 Dutch
town are fairly white with washed arti
cles stretched over them—Ladiu' Re
pou'tory.
The Canary 11 Very Sensible Bird.
As a general rule, you cannot give a
bird too much fresh air. Even in the
winter time, although it is never safe or
expedient to hang the cage in the window,
it is advisable to throw open the window
once or twice a day and let in the air.
Canaries are tender creatures, but they
will stand a low temperature—us low as
50 degrees—providing they be out of the
reach of draughts. A temperature not
lower than 00 degrees is perhaps more
desirable, and this should be maintained l
day and night it' possible. More birdsl
sicken and die t'tfim diseases contracted
by exposure to nightchilliness than from
any other causes. Again, the air of the
romn should not he overheated or suti‘used
with gas. If of a morning you should
chance to observe the same tinge gather
ing on the wings of your‘canary that is
constantly noticeable on silver plate in
winter, the chances are that coaLgas has
much to do with it. On the other hand,
the odor of tobacco smoke. instead of in
juring, seems to have the tendency to
improve the brightness of the plumage,
and at the same time to put more vigor
into the canary's song. Vere I writing
without some experience, I should un
hesitatingiy say, never subject your birds
at all to' tobacco smoke. But facts ap
pear to convert any counsel of the order;
for my own birds, whenever tobacco is
lighted, will, if the cage doors are open.
immediately tiy toward the smoker, and
vie with each other in getting Into the
densest cloud. Having sniffed .the are
rua, they will light upon the shoulder,
or the back of the chair, and pour forth
the sweetest harmonies of the day. I’er
mit me to suggest, then, plenty of fresh
air, and even moderate temperature and
occasionally tobacco smoke. Be sure,
however, that during and after smoklugl
a current of fresh air is allowed to pass
through and to ventilate the room—Ap
pletuns‘ Journal.
Thoughts from Emerson.
Friends, such as we desire, are dreams
and fu'hles.
'l‘he armament ofa home is the friends
whu frequent it.
Every man passes his life in a search
after friendship.
Better be a nettle in the side of your
friend than his echo.
To must of us Society shows not. its
face and eye, but its side and back.
The t'ountniu of beauty is the heart,
and every generous thought illustrates
the walls of the chum her.
A house should bear witness in all its
economy that hunmu culture is the end
to which it is built and garnished.
I do with my friends as I (in with my
books—l would lmve them where I could
find them, but I seldom use them.
Bushfulncss and apathy are it tough
hlh-k, in which a delicate organization is
pioleeted I'rmn premature ripening.
Love is the (lawn (if civility Mid grace
in the course and rustic. It makes the
clown gentle and gives the cowunl
haunt.
We see the heads that turn on the pivot
of the spine—no more; and we see heads
that seem to turn on a pivot as deep as
the axle of the world—so slow and lazi
ly. and great they move.
The poor are only they who feel poor.
and poverty consists in feeling poor. The
rich, as we reckon them, and among them
the very rich, in a true search would be
found very indigent and ragged.
Whosn shall teach me how to eat my
meat and take my repose, and deal with
men, without any shame following, will
restore the life of man to splendor, and
make his own name dear to history.
Tum interments in the cdacombl at
Rome are eatimated at 7,000,000.
Humorous Waits.
How to llml nut ninth in game.—
Put it on the buck oi . note.
Ir nu van! to keep Inmquitoon out of
your Led room. sleep on the roof.
Ammonium mine. one of the luxuries
of life—rho c-n‘l llugh in her Ilene. .
A mum: in 80mm hu mused one of
her hens "Mucdutf," to Hunt it may In]
on.
Tun Ihtchuter Democrat lbinkl Chur
ley Rm wu depmiled in I Chicngo 8".
mg» Bulk.
To muke both ends meet—put your tour
in yuur mouth. We Idviw men. 0111]..
“toe" (In it.
(in mm. llnwmn must want Chief
Joseph fur a lecture hurenu. He is cer~
miuly very much afraid of hurting him.
Ax nl’lltul' declaring that fortune
knocked at every man‘s dmvr once, an old
Irishman said: “When she knocked It
mine I must have been out."
HI‘AUE MANAGER (to cull boy.) “John,.
use it the ballet are dressed." John (re.
turning.) “Yen, Fir, about ready; they’ve
nearly got their clothes off." \
A "our: thrust. Doctor: “Now tell
me. Colonel, how do you feel when you've
killed a mun ’l“ Colonel: "Uh, very well,
thank you. Doctor. How do you!“
Wm lhink Mark Twain must be bored
sadly by the manufacturers of new styles
of gumls. They all insist, by their print~
ed labels, thut he shall “Trade, Mark l"
A LITTLE girl, a day or 3va since,
while watching the ruin, turned tuber
mother and said. “Ma,l guess the weath
er's so warm it's melting the clouds."
Tums don‘t grr‘w much better, and
families which .uve long ago stolli‘ped
talking a paper are nowseriously thin ing
of selling one of the dogm—Worcaltr
Prraa.
A 0001) m'any country teams are bur
glarizing iu country towns. They are
good cruckamcn and generally make an
inner and then an (mum—Nata York
Harald.
“MADAME," suid un impertinent board
er lo his landlady, “your butter is too aris
tocratic fur my democratic taste. It is
we of the cases in which sweetness is
preferable to rank."
A rum”. CARD was lately received
at. the Fitchhuru, Must. posboiice, ud
dressed to “Mr. K—, the mun lhut works
in the factory and got the cur-load of po
tatoes at Whitefield, N. 11., lust yeah”,
\VIIEN you kiss a San Francisco girl,
she holds her breath until you get
thrnugh, and then limes up, goes into the
next. room, and smacks her lips for u.
whole hour.
A noon little boy who was kicked by a!
mule did not my naughty Words or go
home crying to his mother. He just tied.
the mule within five feet of a beehive
backed him round to it and let him kick.
“I an, Paddy, that is the woretlook
iug hurse ynu drive I ever saw. Why
don’t you fatten him up?" “Fat him up,
is it? Fuix! the your haste can hardly
carry the little mute that’s on him now,"
replied Paddy.
THE best. way to cure a boil is to get a
fine ripe peach—e cling stone in better—
peel it carefully, eat n—then take the
skin, pche it on tho asphaltum aide-walk
in front of Baldwin‘s—mud when the boil
isn‘t looking slip up on the peel.
AT an Eastern uregon wedding. the
bride in a playful mood kicked the
groom’s but off without. touching his
head. All well enough if ul'tcratime
herduxtcrity don't take a turn and kick
his head oll‘ without touching his hut.
AN Irishman frerh from the “old
country" saw a turtle for the first time,
and nt once made up his mind to capture
it. The turtle caught him by the finger,
and he, holding it out at arms'-length,
said, “Faith, and ye had better let loose
the howlt ye have. or I’ll kick ye out 06
the very hox ye sit in, be jabbers."
A LITTLE Athol boy, guilty of some
misconduct, Upon being asked why he
could he so naughty, replied tlmt he
thought he was not doing anything
wrong. “That's no excuse," said his
mother, “thinking doesn‘t. hel the mat
ter." “Wt-11, munmm," amid lie, “what’s
the use of having a thinker, if you can't
think?"
OLD Dr. Hunter used to say, when he
could not discover the cauae'oi' a man‘s~
sickness. “We'll try this and We‘ll try
that. We'llrllout into the tree, and if
anything falls, well and good.” “Aye,"
replied a wug, “I fear this is too com
monly the ease, and in your shooting
nto the tree, the first thing that gener
ally falls is the patient."
“Smoxmo in Holland," said atruvel
ler,"'is so Common that it is impossible
to tell one person from another in a room
full of smokers.” “How is anyone who
happens to he wanted picked out, then?"
askcdalietener. , “Oh, in that case, a
waiter goes round with a pair of bellows
and blows the smoke from before each
face till he recognizes the person called
for. Fact,gcntlemen."
To REMOVE FLY Tuacxs.-.—-The fly sea
son, an exchange cheerfully remarks, is
near at hand, and it will cost only three
onions to try the experiment of keeping
your picture frames, looking-glass framw,
‘etc-o Imm being over by
‘flies. Paint your frames over with the
liquid, and the originator says the file!
will never them. Whether the
size of-the onion must. be determined by
the size of the frames or fly the
I author of the receipt has not yet divulged.