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tßaslnixgtoii mm : VOL. XII.—NO. 31. ( jfHE§fASHINGTON§TANDARD IS ISSUED EVKRY SATURDAY MORNING BY JOB.Y MIL lbs A fvff Par. fiOITOR AND PROPRIETOR Mnbaei'lptloii tinted Per nnnum ...» s.l 00 " six months 2 00 AilTrrf|ilii| KMC* I One square, one insertion $3 (i 0 Kucli additional insertion 1 00 liusiness Curds, per quarter 5 00 A liberal deduction will he made in fa vor of those who advertise foursquares, or up wards,by the year. Legal notices wil! be charged to the .attorney or officer authorizing their insertion. efar Advertisements sent from a distance, and transient notices, must be accompanied by the cash JfeSfAnnouncements of births, nmrriuges nnd deaths inserted tree of charge. BiiaS"Obituary notices, or "poetry" append ed to marriages or deaths, will be charged one half our regular advertising rates. We will not hereafter deviate from this rule CtaJT Blanks, blll-i.o\ds, cards, circulars, catalogues, bills of fare, posteis, programmes, pamphlets, etc., printed at reasonable rules OKHCIC— Corner of Second and Washington Streets. GATHERINGS BY THE WAYSIDE. —Diauiouds have been fouud in Arizo. na. —A Boston lawyer is compiling the Mosaic law. —The snow is now thirty feet deep in some parts of Canada. lowa University has opened all its departments to women. —over*lo,ooo emigrants nrrived nt Castle Garden in one d.iy recently. —Twenty thousand women gain a living in Switzerland by working in the watch factories. A school for Jewish girls in the city of Jerusalem is supported by the Raroue&s de Rothschild. —A number of prominent Swiss gentle men purpose visiting Tennessee in the in terests of emigration. —Th<! fund* derivea from the new " So. cinl Kvil Ordinance." at St. Louis, have ulrcady reached 810,000. —Under the late law of Congress, the pensions are to bo paid quarterly, requir ing 87.000,000 each quarter. —lf a inao should insult you, don't erect n Mansard on hint, or fit liiin for a tin nose. That's stale. Just bust the flange off his ear. —The Boston Jubilee Colliseum is to bo 550 feet long by 356 wide, mid in tho center the roof is to be elevated 140 feet from the floor. A thirteen-year-old girl in Warsaw, Ky., is said to piny two tunes on the piano ut once, one with each liand, while vocali zing another tunc. —Women under tho name of" assistant pastors," do pastor.il and missionary work for several of the St. Louis churches, and receive compensation therefor. A respectable lady in Boston was re cently put under the influence of laughing gas, at a public exhibition, and while under its power shouted: " Kcno on 66! That's my pot!" —A lad, aged sixteen years, was arrested in Jonesvillo, Wis., recently, for assuming the dress of a female, and, as such, obtain, ing a situation as maid servant at a house jn the city. The Rev. Spurgeon says he never wrote nor memorized a serman in his life. He uniformly carries a " brief on a half sheet of note paper iuto the pulpit, but seldom refers to it. —A luw linn ju-t been passed which will make those who fish in :iny of the streams of the interior of lowa liable to ti five <lol lur fine for every fish caught by oilier means than a hook and line. —A congress of chess players will he in London in August next, under 4ho auspices of the BritUli Chess Associ ation, and the preliminary arrangements are said to be nearly completed. —Tn the Electoral College, of 357 vo'es, this year, the former s'ace holding States will have 187 votes, tho Western Slutes 102 and New Knuland and Middle States 109, und the Pacific States 12 votes. —The Dulnth Herald says that 1.000.- 000 ties. 500.000 telegraph po'c«. I<\ooo piles, and 0.000,000 of low. at. the very lea«t. have been cut on the Northern Pa. cific Railroad line during the past Winter. rv The Marysville Standard say. un der the provisions of Cole's new land bill, which has become a law. settler* miy pre empt 16) acres of agricultural land. 64A acres of lumber or pasture hind, or 40 acres of placer mining land. Two y< ar* of bona fide residence on agricultural land ■entitles the settler to a patent free of charge, and mineral I ind at the price now prescribed by law. No lands are disposed of otherwise than as provided in the act under consideration. This makes all lands except Government reservations open to settlers. We publish the above from an exchange, but incline to the belief that it is local io application and applies to California. Derated to Jftuis, golitics, fhq gissemiuata of Useful Jafoptaftim, and the gipmotion of tty gest Jntcipsts of Spritorg. "BUCK'S" FUNERAL. There was a grand time over Buck Fan shaw when he died. He was a represent. ative citizen. He had " killed his man" —not in his own quarrel, it is true, but in the defence of a stranger beset by num bers. He had kept a sumptuous saloon. He had been the proprietor of a dashing helpmeet, whom he could have discarded without the formality of a divorce. He had held a higti position in the Fire De. part in out, and been a very Warwick in politic!). When he died there was a great lamentation throughout the town, but es pecially in the vast bottom stratum of so ciety. On the inquest it was shown that Buck Funshaw, in the delirium of a wast, ing typhoid fever, had taken arsnnic, shot himself through the body, cut his throat, and jumpel out of u f»ur.story window and broked his neck; and aflor due dclib oration the jury, pad and tearful, but with intelligence uulilinded by its sorrow, brought in 1 verdict of death "by the visitation of d>d." What could the world do without jilies ? Prodigious preparations were made for the funeral, All the vehicles in town were hired, and »| the saloons were put in mourning, al!lha municipal and fire com pany fligs we 4 hung at half mast, and all the firemen orfcred to muster in uniform and bring thei*. machines duly draped in black. \ llogrctful re«utions were passed and various conimitifc were appointed; among others, a conimitle of one was appointed to call on a milliter—a fragile, spiritual new fledgling frol an Eastern theological seminary, and alyet unacquainted with the ways of the lines. The committee man, " Scotty" BiLgs, made his visit. Being admittedlo his presence, he sat down before the civilian, placed his fire hat on an uiifinislld manuscript sermon under tho minister nose, took from it a red silk liandkerchiF, wiped hi* brow and heaved u sigh of isnial itnpressivcness explanatory of his ■siucss. He choked and even shed tears,kut with an effort he mastered his voice at said, in lugubrious tones: •' Are you the ducMhat runs the Gospel mill next door ?" 1 " Am I the—pardolnie, I believe I do uut understand ?" 1 With another sigh aU a half sob Scotty rejoined: \ '• Why, you see, we « in a bit of trou ble, tho b"ys thought i«y be you'd give us a lift, if we'd tackle yi; that is, if I've got the light of it, and pu are the head clcik of the doxology wols next door." " I am the shepherd l charge uf the flock whose fold is uext dy." " The which F" I " The spiritual adviser atlie little com pany of believers whose sAtuary adjoins these premises." I Scotty scratched his ha, reflected a moment, and then said : \ | " You rather hold over he, pard. I > reckon I can't call that haul Ante and pats tho buck." | " How ? I beg your pardot*. What did I uudorstaud you to say F" '• Well, you've rather got tl bulge on me. Or may be we've both gthe bulge, somehow. You dou't smokeko and I don't smoke you. You see onel the boys has passed in his checks, and 1 want to give him a good send-off, and site thing I'm on now is to rout out soubudy to jerk out u little chin music foiis, aud waltz him through handsome." 1 '• My friend, I seem to grow kre and more bewildered. Your observilos arc wholly incomprehensible to me. fonnot you simplify them some way? .Arst I thought perhaps I understood yl but now I grope. Would it not expedil mat ters if you restricted yourself to agor ical statements of fact unincumbertwuh obstructing accumulations of mefthor aud allegory F" 1 Alio!her pause, and more refldjpa. Tlieu Scotty said: *' I'll have tu pass, I reckon." •• How f" " You've raised me out, pard." '* I still fail to catuh your meauing.'a " Why, that last lead of youro is I many for me—that's the idea, I el neither trump nor follow suit." | | The clergyman sank back in his chl perplexed. Scotty leaned his head on ll ( hand, and gave himself up to rellectio i Presently his faoe cauio up, aorrowful ai I confident. OLYMPIA, WASHINGTON TERRITORY, SATURDAY MORNING, JUNE 1, 1872 " I've got it now, so'a you can savy," aaid he. " What we waotis a gospel-sharp. See ?" "A what!" " Gospel-sharp, parson." " Oh ! Why did yon not say so before ? lam a clergyman—a parson." " Now you talk ! You see my blind, and straddle it like a man. Put it there!" extending a brawny paw, which closed over the minister's small hand and gave it a shake indicative of fraternal sympathy and fervent gratification. " Now we're all right, pard. Let's start fresh. Don't you miod mo snuffling a lit. tie, becuz we're in a power of troub. You see one of the boys has gono up the flume"— " Gone where ?" •' Up the fluioe—throw'd up the spoDgc, you know." " Thrown up the sponge ?" " Yes—kicked the bucket—" " Ah—has departed to that mysterious country from whose bourne DO traveler re turns." ItemrD? Well, I reckon not. Wby, pard, he's dead." " Yes, I understand." " Oh, you do ? Well, I thought maybe you might be getting tangled once more. Yes, you see he's dead agaiu—" " Again! Why, has he ever been dead before ?" " Dead before ? No. Do you reckon a man has got as many lives as a cat ? But you bet, he's awful dead now, poor old boy, and I wish I'd never seen this day. I don't know no better friend thau Buck Funshaw, I know'd him by the back ; and when I know a man like him I freeze to him—you hear me. Take him all around, pard, there never was a bullicr man in the mines. No man ever knowed Buck Fua shaw to go back on a fricrsd. But it's all up. It ain't uo us-e. They've scooped hiiu 1" '■ Scooped him ?" " Yes—death has. Well, well, well, we've pot to give him up. Yen, indeed. It's u kind of hard world, after all, uio't it ? But, pard, ho was a rustler. You ought to see hiin get started once. Ho was a bully boy with a glass eye! Just spit in his face and give him room according to his strength, and it was just beautiful to see him peel and go in. lie was the worst son of a thief that ever draw'd breath. Pard, he was on it. He was oti it bii^er CP than an Injun !" "Unit? On what?" "On the shoot. On the shoulder. On the fight. Understand ? He didn't give a continental—for any- body. Brg your pardon, friend, for coming so near saying a cuss-word—but you see I'm on an awful strain in this palaver, on account of haviup to cram down and draw everything so mild. But we've got to give him up. There ain't any petting around that, I don't reckon. Now, if we can get you to help plant him—" " Preach the funeral discourse ? As sist at the obsequies ?" " Obs'quies is good. Yes. That's it; that's our little game. We are going to get up the thing regardless you know. lie was always nifty himself, and so you bet you his funeral ain't going to be no slouch; solid silver door plate on his coffin, six plumes on the hearse, and a nigger on the box with a biled shirt and a plug hat— how's that for for hiph ? And we'll take caro of yon, pard. We'll fix you all right. There will be a korridge for you; and whatever you want just 'scape out and we'll tend to it. We've pot a shebang fixed up for you to stand behind in No. l's house, and don't you be afraid. Just go in and toot your hi>rn, if you don't sell a clam. Put Buck through as bully as you can, pard, lor any body that know'd him will tell you that he was one of the wildest men that was ever in the mines. You can't draw it too strong. He never could stand it to see things point; wrong. He's done more to make this town peaceable than any man in it. I'vo seen him lick tour Greasors in eleven minutes, myself. If a thing wanted regulstinp. he warn't a man to go browsinp around of'er somebody to do it, but he would prance in and rep. nlate it himself Ho warn't a Catholic; but it didn't make no difference about that when it came down to what a man's ripht was—and ao when some ronphs jumped the Gatholie bone yard and started in to Utske out town lots in it, he went for 'em ! LAnd he cleaned 'em too! I was there and keen it myself." " That was very well, indeed—at but the impulse was—whether the aet was atrictly defensible or not. Had deeeued any religious convictioua ? That ia to say, did be feel a dependence upon or acknowl edge allegiance to a higher power t" More reflection. "1 reckon you've stumped me again, pard. Could you say it over once more, and say it sl»w ?" " Well to simplify it was he I or rather had he been oonnected with an organization sequestered from secular con cerns and devoted to self-sacrifice iu the interests of morality V " All down but niuc—set 'em up on the other ullcy, pard." " What did I understand you to say ?" " Why, you're most too many for me you know. When you get in with your left, I hunt grass every tiuie. Every timo you draw you fill; but I don't seem to have any luck. Let's have a new deal." " How ? Begin again ?" "That's it." "Very well. Was he a good man, and » " There—l see that; don't put up an. other chip till I look at my hand. A good man, says you ? Pard, it ain't no name fur it. He was the best man that ever—pard, you would have doted on that man. He could lam any galoot of his inches in Amer ica. It was him that put down the riot last election before it had got a start; and everybody said that ho was the only man who could have done it. He waltzed in with a trumpet in oue hand and a spanner in the other, sent fourteen men home on a shutter in less than three minutes. He had that riot all broken up and prevented nice, before anybody got a chance to strike a blow. He was always for peace, aud be would have peace—lie could not stand dis turbances. Pard, be was a great loss to the town. Tt would please the boys if you could chip in something about tbat, and do him justice. Here once, like when the crowd got to throwing stoues through the Methodis' Sunday School windows, Buck Fanshaw, all of his own notion, shut up his saloon and took a couple of six-shooters and mounted guard over the Sunday School. He was the bullicst man in the mountains, paid; he couid run faster, jump higher, hit harder, and hold more tangle loot whisky without spilling than any uian iu seventeen counties. Put that iu, pard; it'll please the boys more than anything you could say. And you can suy, pard, that he never shook his mother." " Novcr shook his mother ?" " That's it—any of the boys will tell you II SO. " Well, but why should b« shake her?'' "That's what I say —but some people does." " Not people of any repute f" " Well, some that average pretty soso." " In my opinion a man that would offer personal violence to his mother ought to—" " Cheese it, pard; you have banked your ball clean outside the string. What I was a drivin' at was that he never throwed off on his mother —don't you see ? No, iu deed. He gave her a house to live in, and town lots, and plenty of money; and looked after her, took care of her all the time; aud when she was down with the small-pox, I'm damned if he didn't set up nights and nnss her himself! Beg your pardon for sayinp it, but it hopped out too quick for yoyrs truly. You've treated me like a gentleman, and I ain't the man to hurt your feelings intentional. I think you're white. I think you're a square man, pard. I like you, and I'll lick any man that don't. I'll lick him till he can't tell himself from a last year's corpse! Put it thero!" (Another fraternal handshake —and exit.) The obsequies were all that "the boys'* could desire. Such a marvel of funeral pomp had uever been seen in Virpinia. the plumed hearse, the dirge-breathing brass bands, the closed marts of business, the flags drooping at half.mast, the lung plodding procession of uniformed secret societies, military batal'ions and fire com panies, draped engines, oarriagea of offi cials and eitiuos in vehicles and on foot, attracted multitudes of spectators to the aide walk, roofs and windows; and for years afterward, the degree of grandeur attained by any eivie display in Virpinia was determined by comparison with Buck Fanahaw'a funeral. —The gamblers in San Francisco wear masks while dealing. THE ATLAHTIC ICOHTHLY Of COAST. The Boston Atlantic Monthly, recog nised as tho leading Republican magasine of the United States, in its political de partment thna disoowaes about General Grant and his administration: "Neither the Cincinnati Commercial, nor the Chicago Tribune, nor the Spring field Republican, nor th« New York Tri bune, would be displeased if General Grant tailed in tecuriag a reuomination. There are many reason*, too. why General Grant'* continuance in the office would be regret, tod by other people. As a rule, military tuen are not the stuff to make good states' ' men (or an unmilitary and commercial so ciety. For the most part, they entertain a professional contempt lur hw, even when they avow their loyalty to it. Of this pe culiarity, General Giant's admii i tration has given at least one illustration. De. daring himself firuily opposed to inter vention in the affairs of foreiun nations, he has for sometime past maintained a pro tectorate of San Domingo, which is iu re ality, nn illegal war against Ilayti, carried on in the teeth of a distinct provision of the Constitution. Again, Gen. Grant seems ignorant of the elementary princi ples of economical science to the extreme of believing that the chief source of wealth of this country is to be found in the mines of California. His system of appointments has been unintelligible. Appointments such as Mr. Murphy's and Consul Gen eral Butler's are possible, we sec, because commissions have been issued to them; but how the same man who appointed Mr. Murphy and consul General Butler should also have appointed Mr. Fish and Judge Hoar is inexplicable. Besides all this be has shown » singular want of delicacy, to say the least, in receiving innumerable presents, and indirectly profiling himself out of Government contracts. To own stock in a commercial enterprise is one thing, but to own stock in a corporation which is daily making valuable contracts with the departments at Washington is for the President of the United States, qnite another. We do not impugn his honesty. He is no doubt inuocent of all shares in the management of the ' administration quarry,' but such a scandal ought not to be possible." WHAT I SAW IN A FLY'S HEAD.—I was examining a common house fly one morning with a microscope, and what was my surpriso to discover a whole lot of lit. tie iusects crawling about amongst the hairs of his head. I counted as many as seventeen. They were of a bright amber color, each having six !c:rs, and two long feelers that they kept flourishing before them all the while in the most energetic manner. They wore very nearly the shape of an ant-lion or " doodle," as we used to call them. They were very voracious. I 6aw seven gather around the lacerated neok where the head had been torn from the body, and they ware eating like pigs, pushing and striking at each other nil the while. On another part of the body I saw three engaged in a deadly fight. They rushed at each other with all the fierceness of mad bulls. Sometimes they would rear up and shake each other like dogs. The hair on the fly's head was quite thick, standing out like bristles, and these little fellows would walk right ont on the ends of them without falling. Sometimes two or three of them would wnlk up and down on his hairy nose, no doubt to the great annoyauce of her flyship. Now I wonder if these little fellows themselves haven't got something in their head to bite and snnoy them ? '•That fleas have tenser fleas to bite 'em. And these fleas other fleas and so on ad infinitum." After this when you see a fly scrstch his head, you msy reasonably conclude that he is not always after an idea. And should you ever be annoyed, when trying to sleep, by flies crawling over your face, it may be some satisfaction to know that oftidies his slumbers are disturbed by these little ehaps crawling over hia face. The following funny story is from Wisconsin : " A Dear sighted school teacher in the town of Center, took a lady from Porter, also near sighted, to a church nn a recent Sunday evening. He drove a blind horse. The eyeless equine couldn't keep the road, and the close visioned cou ple knew not whither to guide the beast. Alter numerous mishaps they reached the scene of worship, with one of the tires missing, sod the buggy box badly bruised, snd drove triumphantly into the yard which surrounded the cliuroh. In it, unfortu. nately. a clothes line waa stretched across the lot, and under this the misguided hrute took his course. There waa a sud den emptying of the buggy, in a back summersaultie manner which would have done credit to a first elaas circus tumbler, and Cen'er and Porter were heaped up promiscuously in the mud behind the ve hicle. They didn't so into the church, but returned home, as solemn as a funeral procession, with the Porter lady ia the buggy aad the Center delegate leading the blind horse. It was a gloomy choerteaa trip, aad the school teacher vowed, as he trudged along with the bridle reia over his shoalder, that be woald never be caught out again without bis spectacles." I WHOLE NO. 603, OHIHESE ynrw OF EUSOFIAH. 'The Chi note of Iha interior, wboM b«sL DOM takes to Cantos or Maeao, altijt go the first thing to look at the ff nrnaoaas «■ tho promenade. It is one of tM Most amusing sights to them. They squat is rows along the aidea of the quays, (Hack ing their pipes and fanning themselves, contemplating the while, with a satirical and contemptuooa eye, the English and Americans, who promenade up and down < from one eod to tho other, keeping time with sdmirable precision. Karupeana who. go to Chins, are apt to consider the inhab itants of the ce'estial city vary odd aad supremely ridiculous, and tha provincial Chinese of Canton and Macao pay back' the sentiment with intereat. It is *ety amusing to besr their saroaatie remarks on the appearance of the devils of the West, their utter astonishment at tha sight of their tight fitting garmenta, their wonderful trowsers, and prodigioua round hats like chimney pots—their shirt collara, sdspted to cut off the ears, and making a traiue aronnd such grotesque faces, with long noses and blue eyes, no beard or moustache, but a handful of cnrly hair on each cheek. The shape of the dresa coat puzzles them above everything. They try in vain to account for it, calliog it a half. garment, because it is impossible to make it meet over the breast, and because there is nothing in front to correspond with the tails behind. They admire the judgment and exquisite taste of putting buttoaa aa large as sapecks behind the back vhere they never have anything to button. How much handsomer they think them selves, with their narrow, obliqoe black eyes, high cheek bones and little roand noses, their shaven crowns and magnifi cent pigtails hanging almost to their heela. Add to all these natural graces a conical hat, covered with red fringe, an ample tu nic with large sleeves, and black satin boots with white aole of immense thick ness, and it must be evident to all that * European cannot compare in appearance with the Chinese. SHOW THYSELF A MAN. —Now there arc two courses, either of which you can lake. One is to say : "I am not living nor dressing so well as my companion^,' and I must have fine clothes 'and heller fare." The other ia to aay, with stem manliness: "I hare come here to meke my way; and honesty and simplicity re quire that I should not live any higher than I myself can earn the means of living. I will be no man's panper or benefieiery. I will make what I take; and what I make and take shall support me." The discipline which you get from the latter course of self-denial i* better than going to college. Many a man cradled in learning gets no discipline, hot a young man who, having been reared and MUMS in self-indulgence, leaves hit* father's hooaa and cotues to the city and saya: " I will be beholden to oo man. 1 ean afford to live as plain as any man, both in regard to diet and clothes, if it ia necessary to my manhood, and I will not have anything I cannot fairly ram. I will be indepetxU ent and establish myself." Sueh a young msn gets a discipline which ia worth a university education. By forming that purpose, and adhering to it. he ia edneat* ing himself in the very elemeota of anna, hood. He is making a man of himself. Do you supposo men think lees of yiMt because you dress plainly? Fools may, hut mon do not. Do you .think your ehitnees of life are less because yon feel ashsmed to show a man when your team ia, and where you aleep f Why, many a man has slept in a barn who was bftttr than many auother who aiept in mansions and palaces. A man ought not to be sshamed to say: "I am poor, and I ean. not do so and so." It ia ihe curse of America, aince there are no orders of no biiity here, men are ashamed to admit they aro poor. The young men defends himself and says : •' lam not -so poor an you take me to be." Even the sensible yield to the temptation of the devil, and are ashamed to acknowledge that tfcej work. _ ■ ; Zu .... ■ «#»Tba report of Attorney GMmml Willi* nil, in response to a resolution of tb« Uuuse of K«prettßtotif«i. shows .iail flot persons were arrested in South Carolina 5n {ursuance of tho act of CongvMa of April, 871, aod that fifty-three ooafeassd ia opeo court that they war® or had |ai| members of the ooabioatiow and racies forbidden and made penal by ml act. In North Carolina thirty-sewn per. sons vera convicted or plaMK't'yttyjf ' violations of the law ; 944 pacMM Ml indicted tor aimilar violations; 189 nons have bean iudicted ia the aouthw* and 490 in the northern distriM of ]&. soari. _ J ■• ■ * ' 19* A Philosopher haaantti u Ha who ia impaaaiunata and haatr in naoeraP»Jjpat est. It is your eold, diasiiiibHng crite you should be war* of. ltoaroab deception in a billdtf. It hi mtf- fflli our that sneaks apart Mttft your back ia toraod. makar, rushad arrai- I^Turoovor.