OCR Interpretation

Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, June 01, 1872, Image 1

Image and text provided by Washington State Library; Olympia, WA

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn84022770/1872-06-01/ed-1/seq-1/

What is OCR?

Thumbnail for

tßaslnixgtoii mm :
VOL. XII.—NO. 31. (
JOB.Y MIL lbs A fvff Par.
Mnbaei'lptloii tinted
Per nnnum ...» s.l 00
" six months 2 00
AilTrrf|ilii| KMC* I
One square, one insertion $3 (i 0
Kucli additional insertion 1 00
liusiness Curds, per quarter 5 00
A liberal deduction will he made in fa
vor of those who advertise foursquares, or up
wards,by the year.
Legal notices wil! be charged to the
.attorney or officer authorizing their insertion.
efar Advertisements sent from a distance,
and transient notices, must be accompanied by
the cash
JfeSfAnnouncements of births, nmrriuges
nnd deaths inserted tree of charge.
BiiaS"Obituary notices, or "poetry" append
ed to marriages or deaths, will be charged one
half our regular advertising rates. We will
not hereafter deviate from this rule
CtaJT Blanks, blll-i.o\ds, cards, circulars,
catalogues, bills of fare, posteis, programmes,
pamphlets, etc., printed at reasonable rules
OKHCIC— Corner of Second and Washington
—Diauiouds have been fouud in Arizo.
—A Boston lawyer is compiling the
Mosaic law.
—The snow is now thirty feet deep in
some parts of Canada.
lowa University has opened all its
departments to women.
—over*lo,ooo emigrants nrrived nt
Castle Garden in one d.iy recently.
—Twenty thousand women gain a living
in Switzerland by working in the watch
A school for Jewish girls in the city
of Jerusalem is supported by the Raroue&s
de Rothschild.
—A number of prominent Swiss gentle
men purpose visiting Tennessee in the in
terests of emigration.
—Th<! fund* derivea from the new " So.
cinl Kvil Ordinance." at St. Louis, have
ulrcady reached 810,000.
—Under the late law of Congress, the
pensions are to bo paid quarterly, requir
ing 87.000,000 each quarter.
—lf a inao should insult you, don't erect
n Mansard on hint, or fit liiin for a tin nose.
That's stale. Just bust the flange off his
—The Boston Jubilee Colliseum is to bo
550 feet long by 356 wide, mid in tho
center the roof is to be elevated 140 feet
from the floor.
A thirteen-year-old girl in Warsaw,
Ky., is said to piny two tunes on the piano
ut once, one with each liand, while vocali
zing another tunc.
—Women under tho name of" assistant
pastors," do pastor.il and missionary work
for several of the St. Louis churches, and
receive compensation therefor.
A respectable lady in Boston was re
cently put under the influence of laughing
gas, at a public exhibition, and while under
its power shouted: " Kcno on 66!
That's my pot!"
—A lad, aged sixteen years, was arrested
in Jonesvillo, Wis., recently, for assuming
the dress of a female, and, as such, obtain,
ing a situation as maid servant at a house
jn the city.
The Rev. Spurgeon says he never
wrote nor memorized a serman in his life.
He uniformly carries a " brief on a half
sheet of note paper iuto the pulpit, but
seldom refers to it.
—A luw linn ju-t been passed which will
make those who fish in :iny of the streams
of the interior of lowa liable to ti five <lol
lur fine for every fish caught by oilier
means than a hook and line.
—A congress of chess players will he
in London in August next, under
4ho auspices of the BritUli Chess Associ
ation, and the preliminary arrangements
are said to be nearly completed.
—Tn the Electoral College, of 357 vo'es,
this year, the former s'ace holding States
will have 187 votes, tho Western Slutes
102 and New Knuland and Middle States
109, und the Pacific States 12 votes.
—The Dulnth Herald says that 1.000.-
000 ties. 500.000 telegraph po'c«. I<\ooo
piles, and 0.000,000 of low. at. the very
lea«t. have been cut on the Northern Pa.
cific Railroad line during the past Winter.
rv The Marysville Standard say. un
der the provisions of Cole's new land bill,
which has become a law. settler* miy pre
empt 16) acres of agricultural land. 64A
acres of lumber or pasture hind, or 40
acres of placer mining land. Two y< ar* of
bona fide residence on agricultural land
■entitles the settler to a patent free of
charge, and mineral I ind at the price now
prescribed by law. No lands are disposed
of otherwise than as provided in the act
under consideration. This makes all lands
except Government reservations open to
We publish the above from an exchange,
but incline to the belief that it is local io
application and applies to California.
Derated to Jftuis, golitics, fhq gissemiuata of Useful Jafoptaftim, and the gipmotion of tty gest Jntcipsts of Spritorg.
There was a grand time over Buck Fan
shaw when he died. He was a represent.
ative citizen. He had " killed his man"
—not in his own quarrel, it is true, but in
the defence of a stranger beset by num
bers. He had kept a sumptuous saloon.
He had been the proprietor of a dashing
helpmeet, whom he could have discarded
without the formality of a divorce. He
had held a higti position in the Fire De.
part in out, and been a very Warwick in
politic!). When he died there was a great
lamentation throughout the town, but es
pecially in the vast bottom stratum of so
ciety. On the inquest it was shown that
Buck Funshaw, in the delirium of a wast,
ing typhoid fever, had taken arsnnic, shot
himself through the body, cut his throat,
and jumpel out of u f»ur.story window
and broked his neck; and aflor due dclib
oration the jury, pad and tearful, but
with intelligence uulilinded by its sorrow,
brought in 1 verdict of death "by the
visitation of d>d." What could the world
do without jilies ?
Prodigious preparations were made for
the funeral, All the vehicles in town were
hired, and »| the saloons were put in
mourning, al!lha municipal and fire com
pany fligs we 4 hung at half mast, and all
the firemen orfcred to muster in uniform
and bring thei*. machines duly draped in
black. \
llogrctful re«utions were passed and
various conimitifc were appointed; among
others, a conimitle of one was appointed
to call on a milliter—a fragile, spiritual
new fledgling frol an Eastern theological
seminary, and alyet unacquainted with
the ways of the lines. The committee
man, " Scotty" BiLgs, made his visit.
Being admittedlo his presence, he sat
down before the civilian, placed his fire
hat on an uiifinislld manuscript sermon
under tho minister nose, took from it a
red silk liandkerchiF, wiped hi* brow and
heaved u sigh of isnial itnpressivcness
explanatory of his ■siucss. He choked
and even shed tears,kut with an effort he
mastered his voice at said, in lugubrious
•' Are you the ducMhat runs the Gospel
mill next door ?" 1
" Am I the—pardolnie, I believe I do
uut understand ?" 1
With another sigh aU a half sob Scotty
rejoined: \
'• Why, you see, we « in a bit of trou
ble, tho b"ys thought i«y be you'd give
us a lift, if we'd tackle yi; that is, if I've
got the light of it, and pu are the head
clcik of the doxology wols next door."
" I am the shepherd l charge uf the
flock whose fold is uext dy."
" The which F" I
" The spiritual adviser atlie little com
pany of believers whose sAtuary adjoins
these premises." I
Scotty scratched his ha, reflected a
moment, and then said : \
| " You rather hold over he, pard. I
> reckon I can't call that haul Ante and
pats tho buck." |
" How ? I beg your pardot*. What did
I uudorstaud you to say F"
'• Well, you've rather got tl bulge on
me. Or may be we've both gthe bulge,
somehow. You dou't smokeko and I
don't smoke you. You see onel the boys
has passed in his checks, and 1 want to
give him a good send-off, and site thing
I'm on now is to rout out soubudy to
jerk out u little chin music foiis, aud
waltz him through handsome." 1
'• My friend, I seem to grow kre and
more bewildered. Your observilos arc
wholly incomprehensible to me. fonnot
you simplify them some way? .Arst I
thought perhaps I understood yl but
now I grope. Would it not expedil mat
ters if you restricted yourself to agor
ical statements of fact unincumbertwuh
obstructing accumulations of mefthor
aud allegory F" 1
Alio!her pause, and more refldjpa.
Tlieu Scotty said:
*' I'll have tu pass, I reckon."
•• How f"
" You've raised me out, pard."
'* I still fail to catuh your meauing.'a
" Why, that last lead of youro is I
many for me—that's the idea, I el
neither trump nor follow suit." |
| The clergyman sank back in his chl
perplexed. Scotty leaned his head on ll
( hand, and gave himself up to rellectio
i Presently his faoe cauio up, aorrowful ai
I confident.
" I've got it now, so'a you can savy,"
aaid he. " What we waotis a gospel-sharp.
See ?"
"A what!"
" Gospel-sharp, parson."
" Oh ! Why did yon not say so before ?
lam a clergyman—a parson."
" Now you talk ! You see my blind,
and straddle it like a man. Put it there!"
extending a brawny paw, which closed
over the minister's small hand and gave it
a shake indicative of fraternal sympathy
and fervent gratification.
" Now we're all right, pard. Let's start
fresh. Don't you miod mo snuffling a lit.
tie, becuz we're in a power of troub. You
see one of the boys has gono up the
" Gone where ?"
•' Up the fluioe—throw'd up the spoDgc,
you know."
" Thrown up the sponge ?"
" Yes—kicked the bucket—"
" Ah—has departed to that mysterious
country from whose bourne DO traveler re
ItemrD? Well, I reckon not. Wby,
pard, he's dead."
" Yes, I understand."
" Oh, you do ? Well, I thought maybe
you might be getting tangled once more.
Yes, you see he's dead agaiu—"
" Again! Why, has he ever been dead
before ?"
" Dead before ? No. Do you reckon a
man has got as many lives as a cat ? But
you bet, he's awful dead now, poor old boy,
and I wish I'd never seen this day. I
don't know no better friend thau Buck
Funshaw, I know'd him by the back ; and
when I know a man like him I freeze to
him—you hear me. Take him all around,
pard, there never was a bullicr man in the
mines. No man ever knowed Buck Fua
shaw to go back on a fricrsd. But it's all
up. It ain't uo us-e. They've scooped
hiiu 1"
'■ Scooped him ?"
" Yes—death has. Well, well, well,
we've pot to give him up. Yen, indeed.
It's u kind of hard world, after all, uio't it ?
But, pard, ho was a rustler. You ought
to see hiin get started once. Ho was a
bully boy with a glass eye! Just spit in
his face and give him room according to
his strength, and it was just beautiful to
see him peel and go in. lie was the worst
son of a thief that ever draw'd breath.
Pard, he was on it. He was oti it bii^er
than an Injun !"
"Unit? On what?"
"On the shoot. On the shoulder. On
the fight. Understand ? He didn't give
a continental—for any- body. Brg your
pardon, friend, for coming so near saying
a cuss-word—but you see I'm on an awful
strain in this palaver, on account of haviup
to cram down and draw everything so mild.
But we've got to give him up. There
ain't any petting around that, I don't
reckon. Now, if we can get you to help
plant him—"
" Preach the funeral discourse ? As
sist at the obsequies ?"
" Obs'quies is good. Yes. That's it;
that's our little game. We are going to
get up the thing regardless you know. lie
was always nifty himself, and so you bet
you his funeral ain't going to be no slouch;
solid silver door plate on his coffin, six
plumes on the hearse, and a nigger on the
box with a biled shirt and a plug hat—
how's that for for hiph ? And we'll take
caro of yon, pard. We'll fix you all right.
There will be a korridge for you; and
whatever you want just 'scape out and
we'll tend to it. We've pot a shebang
fixed up for you to stand behind in No. l's
house, and don't you be afraid. Just go
in and toot your hi>rn, if you don't sell a
clam. Put Buck through as bully as you
can, pard, lor any body that know'd him
will tell you that he was one of the wildest
men that was ever in the mines. You
can't draw it too strong. He never could
stand it to see things point; wrong. He's
done more to make this town peaceable
than any man in it. I'vo seen him lick
tour Greasors in eleven minutes, myself.
If a thing wanted regulstinp. he warn't a
man to go browsinp around of'er somebody
to do it, but he would prance in and rep.
nlate it himself Ho warn't a Catholic;
but it didn't make no difference about that
when it came down to what a man's ripht
was—and ao when some ronphs jumped
the Gatholie bone yard and started in to
Utske out town lots in it, he went for 'em !
LAnd he cleaned 'em too! I was there and
keen it myself."
" That was very well, indeed—at but
the impulse was—whether the aet was
atrictly defensible or not. Had deeeued
any religious convictioua ? That ia to say,
did be feel a dependence upon or acknowl
edge allegiance to a higher power t"
More reflection.
"1 reckon you've stumped me again,
pard. Could you say it over once more,
and say it sl»w ?"
" Well to simplify it was he
I or rather had he been oonnected with an
organization sequestered from secular con
cerns and devoted to self-sacrifice iu the
interests of morality V
" All down but niuc—set 'em up on the
other ullcy, pard."
" What did I understand you to say ?"
" Why, you're most too many for me
you know. When you get in with your
left, I hunt grass every tiuie. Every timo
you draw you fill; but I don't seem to
have any luck. Let's have a new deal."
" How ? Begin again ?"
"That's it."
"Very well. Was he a good man, and
" There—l see that; don't put up an.
other chip till I look at my hand. A good
man, says you ? Pard, it ain't no name fur
it. He was the best man that ever—pard,
you would have doted on that man. He
could lam any galoot of his inches in Amer
ica. It was him that put down the riot
last election before it had got a start; and
everybody said that ho was the only man
who could have done it. He waltzed in
with a trumpet in oue hand and a spanner
in the other, sent fourteen men home on a
shutter in less than three minutes. He
had that riot all broken up and prevented
nice, before anybody got a chance to strike
a blow. He was always for peace, aud be
would have peace—lie could not stand dis
turbances. Pard, be was a great loss to
the town. Tt would please the boys if you
could chip in something about tbat, and do
him justice. Here once, like when the
crowd got to throwing stoues through the
Methodis' Sunday School windows, Buck
Fanshaw, all of his own notion, shut up his
saloon and took a couple of six-shooters
and mounted guard over the Sunday
School. He was the bullicst man in the
mountains, paid; he couid run faster,
jump higher, hit harder, and hold more
tangle loot whisky without spilling than
any uian iu seventeen counties. Put that
iu, pard; it'll please the boys more than
anything you could say. And you can
suy, pard, that he never shook his mother."
" Novcr shook his mother ?"
" That's it—any of the boys will tell you
" Well, but why should b« shake her?''
"That's what I say —but some people
" Not people of any repute f"
" Well, some that average pretty soso."
" In my opinion a man that would offer
personal violence to his mother ought
" Cheese it, pard; you have banked your
ball clean outside the string. What I was
a drivin' at was that he never throwed off
on his mother —don't you see ? No, iu
deed. He gave her a house to live in,
and town lots, and plenty of money; and
looked after her, took care of her all the
time; aud when she was down with the
small-pox, I'm damned if he didn't set up
nights and nnss her himself! Beg your
pardon for sayinp it, but it hopped out too
quick for yoyrs truly. You've treated me
like a gentleman, and I ain't the man to
hurt your feelings intentional. I think
you're white. I think you're a square
man, pard. I like you, and I'll lick any
man that don't. I'll lick him till he can't
tell himself from a last year's corpse! Put
it thero!" (Another fraternal handshake
—and exit.)
The obsequies were all that "the boys'*
could desire. Such a marvel of funeral
pomp had uever been seen in Virpinia.
the plumed hearse, the dirge-breathing
brass bands, the closed marts of business,
the flags drooping at half.mast, the lung
plodding procession of uniformed secret
societies, military batal'ions and fire com
panies, draped engines, oarriagea of offi
cials and eitiuos in vehicles and on foot,
attracted multitudes of spectators to the
aide walk, roofs and windows; and for
years afterward, the degree of grandeur
attained by any eivie display in Virpinia
was determined by comparison with Buck
Fanahaw'a funeral.
—The gamblers in San Francisco wear
masks while dealing.
The Boston Atlantic Monthly, recog
nised as tho leading Republican magasine
of the United States, in its political de
partment thna disoowaes about General
Grant and his administration:
"Neither the Cincinnati Commercial,
nor the Chicago Tribune, nor the Spring
field Republican, nor th« New York Tri
bune, would be displeased if General Grant
tailed in tecuriag a reuomination. There
are many reason*, too. why General Grant'*
continuance in the office would be regret,
tod by other people. As a rule, military
tuen are not the stuff to make good states'
' men (or an unmilitary and commercial so
ciety. For the most part, they entertain
a professional contempt lur hw, even when
they avow their loyalty to it. Of this pe
culiarity, General Giant's admii i tration
has given at least one illustration. De.
daring himself firuily opposed to inter
vention in the affairs of foreiun nations, he
has for sometime past maintained a pro
tectorate of San Domingo, which is iu re
ality, nn illegal war against Ilayti, carried
on in the teeth of a distinct provision of
the Constitution. Again, Gen. Grant
seems ignorant of the elementary princi
ples of economical science to the extreme
of believing that the chief source of wealth
of this country is to be found in the mines
of California. His system of appointments
has been unintelligible. Appointments
such as Mr. Murphy's and Consul Gen
eral Butler's are possible, we sec, because
commissions have been issued to them;
but how the same man who appointed Mr.
Murphy and consul General Butler should
also have appointed Mr. Fish and Judge
Hoar is inexplicable. Besides all this be
has shown » singular want of delicacy, to
say the least, in receiving innumerable
presents, and indirectly profiling himself
out of Government contracts. To own
stock in a commercial enterprise is one
thing, but to own stock in a corporation
which is daily making valuable contracts
with the departments at Washington is for
the President of the United States, qnite
another. We do not impugn his honesty.
He is no doubt inuocent of all shares in
the management of the ' administration
quarry,' but such a scandal ought not to
be possible."
was examining a common house fly one
morning with a microscope, and what was
my surpriso to discover a whole lot of lit.
tie iusects crawling about amongst the
hairs of his head. I counted as many as
seventeen. They were of a bright amber
color, each having six !c:rs, and two long
feelers that they kept flourishing before
them all the while in the most energetic
manner. They wore very nearly the shape
of an ant-lion or " doodle," as we used to
call them.
They were very voracious. I 6aw seven
gather around the lacerated neok where
the head had been torn from the body, and
they ware eating like pigs, pushing and
striking at each other nil the while.
On another part of the body I saw three
engaged in a deadly fight. They rushed
at each other with all the fierceness of mad
bulls. Sometimes they would rear up and
shake each other like dogs.
The hair on the fly's head was quite
thick, standing out like bristles, and these
little fellows would walk right ont on the
ends of them without falling.
Sometimes two or three of them would
wnlk up and down on his hairy nose,
no doubt to the great annoyauce of her
Now I wonder if these little fellows
themselves haven't got something in their
head to bite and snnoy them ?
'•That fleas have tenser fleas to bite 'em.
And these fleas other fleas and so on ad
After this when you see a fly scrstch
his head, you msy reasonably conclude
that he is not always after an idea.
And should you ever be annoyed, when
trying to sleep, by flies crawling over your
face, it may be some satisfaction to know
that oftidies his slumbers are disturbed by
these little ehaps crawling over hia face.
The following funny story is from
Wisconsin : " A Dear sighted school
teacher in the town of Center, took a lady
from Porter, also near sighted, to a church
nn a recent Sunday evening. He drove a
blind horse. The eyeless equine couldn't
keep the road, and the close visioned cou
ple knew not whither to guide the beast.
Alter numerous mishaps they reached the
scene of worship, with one of the tires
missing, sod the buggy box badly bruised,
snd drove triumphantly into the yard which
surrounded the cliuroh. In it, unfortu.
nately. a clothes line waa stretched across
the lot, and under this the misguided
hrute took his course. There waa a sud
den emptying of the buggy, in a back
summersaultie manner which would have
done credit to a first elaas circus tumbler,
and Cen'er and Porter were heaped up
promiscuously in the mud behind the ve
hicle. They didn't so into the church,
but returned home, as solemn as a funeral
procession, with the Porter lady ia the
buggy aad the Center delegate leading the
blind horse. It was a gloomy choerteaa
trip, aad the school teacher vowed, as he
trudged along with the bridle reia over
his shoalder, that be woald never be
caught out again without bis spectacles."
I WHOLE NO. 603,
'The Chi note of Iha interior, wboM b«sL
DOM takes to Cantos or Maeao, altijt go
the first thing to look at the ff nrnaoaas «■
tho promenade. It is one of tM Most
amusing sights to them. They squat is
rows along the aidea of the quays, (Hack
ing their pipes and fanning themselves,
contemplating the while, with a satirical
and contemptuooa eye, the English and
Americans, who promenade up and down
< from one eod to tho other, keeping time
with sdmirable precision. Karupeana who.
go to Chins, are apt to consider the inhab
itants of the ce'estial city vary odd aad
supremely ridiculous, and tha provincial
Chinese of Canton and Macao pay back'
the sentiment with intereat. It is *ety
amusing to besr their saroaatie remarks
on the appearance of the devils of the
West, their utter astonishment at tha
sight of their tight fitting garmenta, their
wonderful trowsers, and prodigioua round
hats like chimney pots—their shirt collara,
sdspted to cut off the ears, and making a
traiue aronnd such grotesque faces, with
long noses and blue eyes, no beard or
moustache, but a handful of cnrly hair on
each cheek. The shape of the dresa coat
puzzles them above everything. They try
in vain to account for it, calliog it a half.
garment, because it is impossible to make
it meet over the breast, and because there
is nothing in front to correspond with the
tails behind. They admire the judgment
and exquisite taste of putting buttoaa aa
large as sapecks behind the back vhere
they never have anything to button.
How much handsomer they think them
selves, with their narrow, obliqoe black
eyes, high cheek bones and little roand
noses, their shaven crowns and magnifi
cent pigtails hanging almost to their heela.
Add to all these natural graces a conical
hat, covered with red fringe, an ample tu
nic with large sleeves, and black satin
boots with white aole of immense thick
ness, and it must be evident to all that *
European cannot compare in appearance
with the Chinese.
arc two courses, either of which you can
lake. One is to say : "I am not living
nor dressing so well as my companion^,'
and I must have fine clothes 'and heller
fare." The other ia to aay, with stem
manliness: "I hare come here to meke
my way; and honesty and simplicity re
quire that I should not live any higher
than I myself can earn the means of living.
I will be no man's panper or benefieiery.
I will make what I take; and what I
make and take shall support me."
The discipline which you get from the
latter course of self-denial i* better than
going to college. Many a man cradled in
learning gets no discipline, hot a young
man who, having been reared and MUMS
in self-indulgence, leaves hit* father's hooaa
and cotues to the city and saya: " I will
be beholden to oo man. 1 ean afford to
live as plain as any man, both in regard to
diet and clothes, if it ia necessary to my
manhood, and I will not have anything
I cannot fairly ram. I will be indepetxU
ent and establish myself." Sueh a young
msn gets a discipline which ia worth a
university education. By forming that
purpose, and adhering to it. he ia edneat*
ing himself in the very elemeota of anna,
hood. He is making a man of himself.
Do you supposo men think lees of yiMt
because you dress plainly? Fools may,
hut mon do not. Do you .think your
ehitnees of life are less because yon feel
ashsmed to show a man when your team
ia, and where you aleep f Why, many a
man has slept in a barn who was bftttr
than many auother who aiept in mansions
and palaces. A man ought not to be
sshamed to say: "I am poor, and I ean.
not do so and so." It ia ihe curse of
America, aince there are no orders of no
biiity here, men are ashamed to admit
they aro poor. The young men defends
himself and says : •' lam not -so poor an
you take me to be." Even the sensible yield
to the temptation of the devil, and are
ashamed to acknowledge that tfcej
work. _ ■ ; Zu .... ■
«#»Tba report of Attorney GMmml
Willi* nil, in response to a resolution of tb«
Uuuse of K«prettßtotif«i. shows .iail flot
persons were arrested in South Carolina 5n
{ursuance of tho act of CongvMa of April,
871, aod that fifty-three ooafeassd ia
opeo court that they war® or had |ai|
members of the ooabioatiow and
racies forbidden and made penal by ml
act. In North Carolina thirty-sewn per.
sons vera convicted or plaMK't'yttyjf '
violations of the law ; 944 pacMM Ml
indicted tor aimilar violations; 189
nons have bean iudicted ia the aouthw*
and 490 in the northern distriM of ]&.
soari. _ J ■• ■ * '
19* A Philosopher haaantti u Ha who
ia impaaaiunata and haatr in naoeraP»Jjpat
est. It is your eold, diasiiiibHng
crite you should be war* of. ltoaroab
deception in a billdtf. It hi mtf- fflli
our that sneaks apart Mttft
your back ia toraod.
makar, rushad arrai-

xml | txt