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VOL. XII.—NO. 33.1
I SHE^ASHINGTON§TANDARD 18 ISSUED E VKRY SATURDAY MORNING BY J(//JC.Y Mu*R*KR MVBPltr, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. Sitbrfcri pilau llntftf s Per annum. s:t oo " six luoutiis 2 oo Aflvertl«iii|f Knlrm Ouo square, one insertion s:j 00 Each additional insertion 1 Oil ltusiness Cards, per quarter ..... 5 00 SvA liberal deduction will be mailt in fa vor ut those who advertise four squares, or up wards, by the your. ear i notices will be clnir(te-l to the attorney or officer authorizing their insertion. B4STAI vertisements sent from ft distance, mill trans'ieil notices, must be accompanied by the citsh li'if Announcements jf births, marriages nud deaths inserted free of charge. thf Obituary notices, or "poetry" append ed to marriages or deaths, will be charged one half our regular advertising rues. We will not herealter deviate from this rule K'aiks, bill-i.eads, cards, circulars, catalogues, bills of fare, posteis, programmes, pamphlets, etc., printed at reasonable rales Ut'HK'u—Corner of fa'ecoud aud Washington Streets. HOW THE ACCOUNT WAS SQUARED. The Cincinnati Times prints the follow ing IVoui its fit contributor : Let me relate an incident of travel tli.it occurred when I was a frisky young matt with ti fondness for young lathes' society. Cuder>tand inc, I have no distaste for young ladies' society now, but they dou't seem to hanker so much for mine us thoy did, say twenty years ago. This is natu ral enough, 1 duu't blame litem—only they don't know what they tire missing. A friend and myself got ou board an express train one iiltenioou to make u short trip. The car we entered was lull. Only one vacant seat iu fact, and that was alongside of a very charming young lady. Friend and I each made u dash for that very desi rable vacant seat. It isn't a fair thing to do, as a general tiling, to trip a friend, but it was allowable under the circumstances, and 1 gave hi ill just the slightest trip in the world, just cuough to enable me to get (lie start of him and obtain the coveted >cat. .My friend took a seat on the wood i) ix, and looked disconsolate enough. I think I added to his discomfiture by cer. tain triumphant winks, nods, and motions iu which 1 iudulged. The young lady was attractive, and some casual remarks ou one hide or the other—young folks will drop a remark occasionally, and are more ready to pick it up agaiu than old ones —afforded an opportunity to glide easily and pleas, milly into conversation. She was witty and sprightly, and I grew unusually bril liant ; that is, to the best of my recollec tion at this somewhat remote day. My friend observing this looked madder than ever. At length we reached a statiou where the train stopped a moment. My friend abdicated the wood-box and rushed out on the platform. Suddeuly he re turned, and coming quickly to me seized mo by the collar and said in a toue heard nil through the ear: '-Quick now, get right off here. You can get a job here just as well us not. They tell me there is only one shoemaker iu the place, and lots of work. So take your kjt and get off before the truiu starts. No use of looking any further for work. Tramping ull around the country for a job of shoemuk iug wou't pay. Take work where you find it. That's my utotto." lie almost forced me out of my scat with his vehemence, nud if I hadn't made a vigorous resistance lio would have had me out on the platform. The young lady gave tuc one look of su preme disgust—a tramping jour shoe maker !—then directed her gaze out of the wiodow, nud kept it thcro for the remain der of the journey. My friend rcmouuted the wood-box, nud indulged in sueli a sc. lies of lieudish grins and malignant chuckles as would have justified me in liurling him from the car, only 1 was too stupefied by tlio proceeding to proceed against hiin. When I left the cur the young lady looked to see if I hadn't for. gotteu my " kit," and I aui satisfied she thought I had got off to " kick for a job," us they generally say iu shoemaker's par. lanco. nr A telegram from Washington,, dated May 15th, hays : " The coalition in Connecticut, between the Democrats and Republicans, by which the Legislature of that State decided to-day to re elect Sena tor Ferry for sis years from the 4th of March next, has excited very general com ment here, and is looked upon by the sup porters of Mr. Greeley as one of the promising indications of a coalition at Dal. timore. While Mr. Ferry had not openly identified himself with the Liberal Itgpub lican movement, his recent votes and speeches show that he is heartily antago. iiistic to tho extreme legislation which the Republican party continues to press in Congress. To-day, on tho news of his re election being received in the Senate, ho was only congratulated by Messrs. Trum bull and Schurz and other Liberal Repub licans. The Administration Republicans Jroui that State in Congress declare that tho Connecticut coalition breaks up the caucus system there, and turns the State «vcr to the Democratic party for the fu ture. Srwted to dtyujs, fjolitits, the gissemiitatiou of Useful Jnfopatiw, and the promotion of thq gest Jnterests of Mlashiugfon DOLL* VARDEX. O Dolly ! Dolly VHrilcn, Is it lady's :orui n garden, Tlmt tliou inudly triiilst it o'er Willi n thousand vines or more? Now its every turn discloses Lilies, pinks mid blushing roses, Violets, forget-me-nots, Larkspurs, and I don'l know whatf. All the colors of the year Iu a single gown appear ; Flowers of every season, In and out of reason, All a single yard iu liast tbou, Dolly Vardcu. Dolly ! Dolly Vardeu I .Still thy pranks we pardon ; For a very witching thing Is the whimsy thou dost liring ; Every pretty maiden, With liiy wealth o'erladon, Takes w here er she goes Charm of added rose, Spell of all things fair, Itlooni of everywhere. ll.til to thee ! liut pray put guard on Those who can't, dear Dolly Yurdeu. Every human form divine Can't be graced with flower and vine, Hearing o'er its back quaint story Traced iu bloom ol moriiiug-glory— Every dame can't be a garden, As tliou know'st, poor Dolly Varden. Vainly, Dolly Varden, We our hearts would harden. Witching one, new born of spring, Full of dainty blossoming 1 Whether though dust come in lawn, liright and misty as the dawn ; Calico that wakens clioler With its every yard a dol'nr ; Or in softly rustling silk, Wool, and fabrics ot that ilk— •Still thou'rt winsome, gay and fair, i'eerlcss past all base compare. Let old fogies ask your pardon, Nor paternal purse keep guard on. Never more our hearts we'll harden ; Tbou hast conquered, Dolly Varden I KITTY'S STRATAGEM. Such a little witch as she was, this Katy Day, of whom I write. She couldn't help flirting if she tried, and it wasn' her fault, of course, if men were taken in by the round, childish face and great, innocent, blue eyes. For they were, scores of thorn, und Kitty went on her way rejoicing— completing their bewilderment by the shy looks and smiles, and blushes, that really ineant nothing, but were very effective, nevertheless. lint iii mi unlucky hour fur Kilty, she said " Yes" to a dark, melancholy, young man, who ha>l been her shadow fur months. She wasn't in earnest, but did it for the '•fun of the thiug," and because she wanted to know how it felt to be "engaged." It resulted seriously, however, for, in spite of express commands to the contrary, the accepted suitor went directly to her futher and told him all übout it. Mr. Day looked at his daughter mischievously that night, as she sat behind the tea urn with such a comical assumption of dignity. " So I am to lose my little housekeeper before long, am 1 ?" questiuued he signifi cautly. " Why, papa what do you mean ?" and Kitty blushed scarlet. " Mr. Gilbert called on me to day. lie is t<n excelleut young man, and the son of ono of my oldest friends. I heartily ap prove your choice, my dear." " He prnmisod to keep the engagement a secret," said Kitty iu a vexed tone. '• So he told me, but concluded after wards to broak his promise rather than act dishonestly. For it wouldn't have been quite fair to have concealed the engage ment from me." " 1 don't know why, I'tn sure. It's only a bit of Diy fun, anyway. I never meant to marry him." 31 r. Day looked at her sternly. " I'm not jesting," she added, pettishly. " Me threw himself into such a passion that I was fairly frightened into saying ' Yes,' and sorry enough I've been for it since." " Are you in earnest, Kitty ?" " Yes, I am," and the blue eyes flashed defiantly. " Is it possible that a daughter of mine has so little feeling and principle." " Now, papa, what is the use of lectur ing. You kuow me of old. I'm in trouble aud want you to help me out of it. " But you've given your word Kitty, and must abide by it." " Didn't he break his ?" "Yes, and was justified in doing so. Dut you are not. Still, I'll give you a choice of two evils, if you think marrying youug Gilbert one. Few girls would. Either keep your promise nod make the best of circumstances, or break it and pus the wiuter in the country with your Aunt Dorothy. For I'm not going to have you play and loose with men's hearts after this fashion. Kitty looked up in her father's faee dis believingly, but determination was writteu there; and, filled with sudden dismay, she OLYMPIA, WASHINGTON TERRITORY, SATURDAY MORNING, JUNE 15, 1872. began to plead for a repricvo of tho sen tence. But Mr. Day wouldn't listen. " You can stay in the city and participate in its gayeties on one condition only, and that I've mentioned," said he. "•Was ever anything so provoking?" muttered Kitty, after her father had gone dowo town. " Aunt Dorothy lives in a forlorn-looking old place, and it's a perfect wilderness around her, and papa knows she is the crossest old maid in existence. But I'll be even with him yet." The next morning Kitty announced her intention of remaiuing in the city. " But, papa, if Mr. Gilbert himself should grow tired of the engagement, after knowing me better, you'll not punish me for that, will you ?" and her eyes trem bled mischievously. " Certainly not, child. What a question to ask." But Kitty had a motive in it. A plan had suggested itself to her mind for out witting both father aud lover. But she didn't mean to hurry, and began to pave the way for its success cautiously. As good luck would have it, who should call on her that morniog but Cousin Joe, the firm ally and abettor of all her childish mischief, aud as ready to help her uow as theu. "Oh ! Joe, such trouble as I'm in," uud she clasped her bauds with a pretty little gesture of appeal. "What! you, Kitty? Is your canary bird fractious, or is it something about a new drees or bonnet that don't equal your expectations ?" Kitty looked at hiin so reproachfully that he was sobered in a minute " Tell me all about it," whispered lie. *' I'm engaged," and if slic'd been an nouncing her own funeral, sho couldn't have done it in a more solemn voice. Joe flushed up to the roots of his hair, and clasped and uuclaspcd his hands iu a nervous sort of a way, but dido't say any thing. Kitty watched him maliciously. " It's to that young Gilbert. He's a splen did fellow, aud his great dark eyes and the darkest little moustache. You know him, don't you ?" '• No—yes—a little," stammered Joe, to the delight of his listeuer. " But what is the trouble about ? Wou't your father consent ?" and he looked so utterly wretch ed that Kitty, with a faint twinge of re morse, hastened to tell him the true state of the case. He brightened up wonder, fully. " Then you don't love the man af ter all ?" he asked. " Well, I don't know," HIIC answered meditatively. " I never looked into the matter much. I suppose he's as good as any one, but I'm not in a marrying mood at present." Joe's countenance fell again. " Will you tell me just what you want ?" said he a little sternly. " Now don't be cross, Joe; you're the only friend I've got iu the world." and Kitty raised her soft eyes imploringly. lie was mollified at once. " Why not break with Gillbert and accept the alter native ?" suggested he. " 'Twon't be so very dull at Aunt Dorothy's. I've a col. lege friend in the neighborhood, and can visit you occasionally." Poor Joe! the idea of having her all to himself was delightful, and he waited for her answer with subdued eagerness. " Is that the only plan that has occurred to you ?" answered Kitty sarcastically ; " you haven't much ingenuity if you can't devise some other way of getting me out of this dilemma. I've no intention of becoming an animated fossil. Now listen to what I propose?" Then Kitty disclosed her plot, and Joe listened approvingly, and the two heads were still bent close together when Gilbert called an hour later. He entered unan. nounced, and Kitty made such a start and blush at him, that Joe's hopes again sank to zero. But if he'd been sensible he'd known that her embarrassment was the re sult of surprise rather than emotion. She was very arch and winning that morning until after Joe left (the little witeh knew he was on nettles all the time), then she changed her tactics and grew cold and dis tant. "So you had to tell papa, after all," she sneered, " men can't keep a secret." Her lover tried to explain, but she wouldn't listen, and gave him such a rat. ing as would have done oredit to the shrill est and noisiest of viragoea. " la thia a specimen of her temper ?" though! ho escaping into the streets as soon as possible. "Who'd hare thought her soft eyes could flash so, or the lines of her face sharpen in such a curious way ? She really looked dangerous." Had he seen Kitty laugh and clap her hands as she vanished from the scene, he'd have beco moro puzzled than ever. The next time they met she greeted him with such a charming smile, and looked so naive and unconscious that this little epi sode would have passed from his memory if it hadn't been for one circumstance, lie 4*cidentuly overheard a conversation between her cousin and another gentleman. Kitty was the theme of tho discourse. She's a dear little girl, but a regular virago," said Joe. " Everybody's afraid of her when she gets into oue of her tan. truuis. She just raves aud gets on in a way that's perfectly frightful. There's a taint of insanity in the blood, you know ; her aunt and grandmother died in an in sane asyluui." Young Gilbert listened shuddering. These words explained a "scene that had puzzled hiui before and awakcued forebod ings for the future. " You saw her father come down town last week with his head all bandaged up, and heard him tell, per haps, how terribly he's afflicted with neu ralgia," continued Joe. '• Poor old gen tlciuau ! 'twas Kitty did the mischief, for in one of her ancry fits she. threw tho flat iron accross the table and it hit him in the temple. He's anxious to marry her off, and I hear Gilbert's to be the happy man." That individual turned pale. lit* re membered Mr. Days eagerness in forward ing his suit, aud the wish he had expressed that his daughter's marriage should take place at an early date. Though his love for Kitty was strong as his shallow nature was capable of feeling, a vixenish wife would be unendurable. Butwasu'tit pos sible that her cousiu was mistaken, or had colored the picture a little too highly ? He resolved to wait for further developments. They came speedily. A week later he called on Kitty—just at dusk—and was ushered by mistake (?) iuto the library. The door between that uud the dining-room stood slightly oj ir; a womau's shrill voice reached him from thence. Was it Kit ty's? Yes, he recognized it; he had heard it once before, pitched in the same high key. " Don't tell me you didn't mean to," she screeched, more like a mad woman than anything else. " You did, you did, you wretched little imp!" Then there was the sound of a heavy blow and the shriek of a child. "O! don't Miss Kitty ?" wailed a pit. iful voice. '• It was so dark I couldu'tsee when you run against me, and then I stum bled and fell and the pitcher got broken, and I tried to keep the milk off your pret ty dress, but couldn't." " You stumbled anil fell," mimicked Kitty. " Well, I'll teach you not to, another time. Take that, that, that," giv. ing the child blow after blow that resounded through the room. Stop your sniveling, too. Do you hear ? I'll make you, if you dou't." The sobs were hushed, and Kitty went on : " 'Twas the prettiest dress I had, and it's spoilt completely! and all through your carelessness, you little imp! Oh! if I'd only a cowhide! 'twould do me good to give you such a whipping as you deserve." " Kitty, let that child alone," aaid a new voice; and Gilbert recognized it as her cousin's. " I shall do no such thing! Get out of the way, and miud your own business 1" She shrieked, and there was something that sounded like a bottle whizzing through the room and crashing up against the wall. Then a man's groan was heard distinctly. "Oh ! Kitty, how could you t" said her cousin, reproachfully. " You cut my cheek terribly; see how the blood runs!" Gilbert didn't waut to hear any more, but fled from the house, resolved that be wouldn't marry such a vixen, though she had the face and form of a Hebe. The front door had no sooner closed on him, than the actors in the above drama went off into spasms of merriment. Kitty stood revealed iu tho gas.ligbt with dress uninjured ; there was not a cut to be seen on Joe's face; the ehild waa nowhere vis ible. * "Oh ! Oh 'twas too funny !" gasped Kitty; " that whine would havo deceived anybody, 'twas so natural, I half atartod myself, thinking 'twas really a child's voioe instead of yours. You deserve a reward of merit for such splendid acting.". " Give me one, then, and let me choose it myself," whispered Joe. " Well, what will you have?" and she looked up archly. " Yourself." " What a modest demand !" There was a mocking smile on her lips, but her eyes fell beneath his. "Do you think so ?" and, taking the mischievous little face between his hands, he scanned it closely. What he taw there was evidently satisfactory, for he kissed it over and over, and Kitty, though she re sisted a little at first, finally submitted with a very good grace. " 'Tis well to be off with the old love before you are on with the new," whispered he, slyly. " Gilbert's done for, and I're stepped into his place." "But he didu't treat me iu this way," pouted she. " I hope not. "fwould be worse for h ; tu if he had. I'd shoot him in a min ute aud Joe tried to loook belligerant, but failed wofully. Mr. Day was surprised the next morning by a call from Kitty's late suitor. The young man seemed ill at ease, and stam mered a good deal in making his erraud known. " I understand, sir, that insanity is her editary iu your family," ho began awk wardly, " aud—aud—" lie paused and tried to collect his ideas —" that Kitty's aunt and grandmother died in a lunatic asylum." " All a mistake," responded Mr. Day pompously. " There never was a case of insanity, either among uiy own kindled, or that of my late wife." " But your daughter, sir, has a peculiar disposition, and I find it isn't suited to mine at all. We should be miserable to gether. I desire, thereforo, to withdraw from the engagement." " And have you told her this ?" thun. dercd his listener, white with rage. For Mr. Day really had a violent temper, and didn't need to feign its possession, like Kitty. " Dear me! the father is worse thnn the daughter," thought the young man. Aloud ho answered, " Oh, no; I cauie to you first." (The fact was he didn't dare face Kitty with any such proposition). " Well, sir, all I have to say .is that you are a mem contemptible villain, and if you don't get out of my office this minute, I'll kick you down stairs," and before the words were fairly out of Mr. Day's mouth he started to make his threat good. Young Gilbert made a hasty retreat, convinced that not only Kitty, but Mr. Day, also, was partially insane. Kitty listened demurely to her father's version of the affuir, and the anathemas he hurled against her recreant lover. Once though, during that narration, she shook so with laughter that he looked at her suspiciously. But she put on such an air of wretchedness that he ascribed it to wounded pride. It was not till two years afterward that he learned the troth, and Kitty was married to Joe, who I forgot to say, was not her own cousiu, though she called him so, but a sort of relation. Mr. Day received his revelation good.huiuor. edly (Joe had always been his special favor ite), and was ready enough to laugh with the rest over the way in whioh he had been outwitted. A MUSICAL STOP. l'laying ou a harp with a thousand strings was no comparison to it. What ? Well, I'll tell you. I boarded. I got along very well with the exception of a trouble in an adjoining room. In that room dwelt a genius—a musical genius. He was a well regulated young man— otherwise than being a musical blockhead. He kept very good hours, better thau I could have wished. His vehicle of expression was an aceord. coo. It was a large aceordeon, also a loud one. This young man'a name was Knibbsy. He was a strong young man, and the way ho did work the bellowa was a caution to reeds. Also to nerves with ears attached to them. This youug aspirant for fame knew every tune that was ever written. What time ho was not eating, sleeping, or engaged in playing his aeoordeon, ho wu whistling these tunes. He oould whistle them better than he could play theui, and he wasn't much of a whistler, either. I havo considerable Christian forbear* ance, even for an aocordeonist. I went to bed with oottou in u»y care regularly for six months, without growling, hopiug all the while that be would either learn to * WHOLE NO. 605. play, or that some accident woulJ happen him. lie burst the bellows of l:is<infernal ma chine ono uight, and I managed to set to sleep nt midnight. I hoped it would take at leant a month to repair the the thing, but I'll be hanged if he didn't get another to practice on while his was being mended, and it waa worse than his own. The original melody returned at the end of a week, and that plad genius held high carnival thereat, lie uiude night hideous, he felt so good. Patience, for accident or development of that musical bud, ceased to be a virtue. Those who miuld bo free them* solves must strike the blow; 1 resolved to strike. The door of his rooui wu always open, and a person cuuld enter during the day and examine that musical torment if be wauted to. 1 wanted to. I procured AII ounce of powder. I toek out the musical stop of that accordeon, and I emptied the article into the bowels thereof. I arranged a precussion cap uuder the wiud-valve of that instrument, in. such a maimer as to explode things if he went to patronizing tint flapper with the snap and vim that he usually bent him self to. Night enme and I waited iho result with fiendish delight. I didn't wish to murder that man out and out, but if I could permanently disable that instrument of his, even if he escaped with six weeks in the hospital, I thought I should be do ing a g'Mid thing for science and the com munity generally. That night lie attended a free coucert. He went to pick up some new tunes. lie had picked up hundreds in this way, and then returned home to pick them out on his accordeon. It was about -10 o'clock that night, I heard him coming up stairs whirling the " Devil's Sonota," and I knew that he had picked that up aud was whistling it as he came along, so as to keep it in bis head. He rushed into his room. lie did not even stop to light the gas. He loved to rhapsodise in the dark. So do cats. ' He seized the accordeon. He ran his agile digits over the keys several times. He worked carefully over the sonata for a few minutes, until he had picked his way through it after a fashion, and then began to swing it out. The accordeon groaned, squealed, and wheezed. He was getting warmed up to his work. Hp played faster and faster. The ordinary movement of the bellows did not supply wind enough to give expression to his feelings. He resorted to the wind valve. He resorted to it once too often. There wax a sharp snap, followed by an exaggerated, explosive grant. There was a yell. There was also a rattling of crock ery ware and furniture. Also a wild shaking of windows, a flash and rush for the door. I heard that uiusiual genius bump tho several extremities of his anatomy on the floor and up against the partition. I heard him shout "fire!" and "inurder!" I rushed to his recue. There was every evidence of thorough work. We lit the gns and sought for an explanation. Everything in the room was overturned. That musical genius was paralyxed with fear. He stood trembling in the eorner, and ho hesitatingly asked me if the house was not struck bv light ning. There wasn't enough of that accordeon left to make a respectable toothpick of. I turned to look at the genius. He certain ly looked as though he had been atruek by lightning or something quite u effective. His moustache was gone; also his eye lashes and eyebrows. Hi* hair was shorter than it was, and his whole make up was sadly out of joint. The persecuted boarders gathered iu his room. They vored it a musical mystery. The landlady said it served him right fur playing the Devll'i Sonata, while the others concluded that it was all owing to his throwing so much feeling»into his exe cution. I told him I thought it was the work of the spirit of the dead composer, who could stand the torture no longer, and in this (he genius appeared to coneide, for he has abandoned music and is no* busily en gaged in cultivating eje winkers and hair on bis upper lip. Cy Moses, the man who hauled down the flag of the United States from the ram parts of Forte Sampler, and was frantically applauded therefor, instead of being shot on the *pot, in a Dii-like manner, is said to stand a very good chance for nomination as Governor of South Carohu* by the Grant party. We do not mention this in order to indulge in Pharisaical horror at the idea. On the contrary, we rejoice to to see a probability of South Carolina being Governed by her own oitiiena, if publio opinion is strong enough to drive the carpet-baggers oat of the Stat*. If, however, he ran a ehaooe of nomination by Liberal Republicans, the howl t&at would be raised would be a pelting The thought of any Southerner voting for Gree. ley is enough, in the eyos of the A'lminis trarjf>n orirnn*', to prove the utter baseness of the candidate, but. curiously enough, they make no cowmeuis oo the adhesion to Graut of Lonpitreet aod Moeos ; and other congenial spirit-.