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\ol.lMK Xl,\ 11.-MJMHER 32. u.Vax«liinijTOU # tnncVavd, ISSUED titRT FHIOtY ETEIIIiD IT JOHN MILLER MURPHY Klituiilli l Proprietor <*ut»4rrl|itlon lUtrr. |*.«r .'Mr in advance $1 50 Six mourns, in advance 75 A <ll ei t iai ng Kale* «>n" ejnaro tlncli) per year tl2 10 " per quarter 400 Ono g'juare,one insertion 1 00 " suhse<|Uent insertions.. 50 Advertising, fours pistes or upward bv the v«ar, at liberal rates. liOgil 11 swill tie charged to the att irney or officer authorizing tlieir inser tion. Advertisements sent fr >m a distance, and trinsicnt notices must lie accompan ied bv the cash. Ann uinepiiients ot marriages, births ami deaths inserted free. Obituary notices, resolutions of respect and oth T articles whieli do not possess a general interest will lie inserted at one bait the rates for business advertisements. BOSTON KITCHEN AND Oyster House. 526 MUN STRFET, - - - OLMPIA Private Parlor* tor l.adle* and t'nmlll<'*. MEALS - ~ 15 CENTS The neatest and most attractive din ing rooms in the citv. S. J.' BURROWS, Proprietor. || Charlie's jj SALOON ;; Olympia's Popular Resort I: < ' All the liest brands of Im- J [ J [ ported and Domestic Wines < > < ► Liquors and Cigars. ... < 1 |i BBQE6EB & BIRCHLER || 11 PROPRIETORS. <! i ► la. 108 Wnt Ftarth Street. Pkoie lan 27. < > PAUL © HOLTHUSEN'S NOTED FOB QUALITY OF THEIR LIQUORS THE FINEST Wines, Liquors and Cigars Olympia Beer a Specialty life FOUtTil ITKEIT. Conrteous Treatment to All. PAUI. PETHLEFSEN, C. HOLTHUSEN. Proprietor*. Milt EM | J! C. F. KALER a SON, PROPRIETORS <; J ► DEALERS IN J I j; Fresh | Cured : Meats < ;! VEGETABLES, ETC. ; < J Telephone Main 199. < j, 507 Fourth Street, Olympia. ' I THE | KHVI In the City at the | | BON TON BATHS > JAMES LASITYR, Prop. 5 j Fourth St., next to Oxford Saloon 8 JOHN M. WILSON Attorney at Law Byrne Block, corner of Fourth and Mam streets. Olynipia. Wash. General law practice, loans, collec tions and real estate. i DwirrwooD u I U J BY LUE F. VERNON U X,\'A x caa (leorge Washington was not so great As people would imply, I've known at least five hundred men Who could not tell a lie. They ilid not think the feat so great Nor did one of tliein claim, r.ecause he could not tell a lie. An everlasting fame. A matter, of course, it was to them, Nor did they e'er succumb, For besides their being all born deaf, They also were born dumb. Roosevelt and Harriuian will light it out if it takes all summer. A literary failure—the new method of spelling, as approved by President Roosevelt. Noah must have been a great poker player. He had a pair of everything in the Ark. Absenee conquers love they say. but. sometimes, the truth is, that it strengthens it. France has tendered its good of fices to the United States. You can't boat the French for politeness. Free lunch is a thing of the past in saloons of Seattle, but from re ports, bad whiskey is as plentiful as usual. The pyramids are so culled, no doubt, from the fact they appear amid the general desolation of the desert. While a few Seattle people were busily engaged hunting " Raffles" there were many others searching for waffles. Whether a lynx can whip a wolf in the open, won't matter so much to Roosevelt, as whether Taft can get the Indiana delegation. Luundrymen in Seattle have raised prices. This will mean the return of the " dickey" and " paper" collar to many residents of the Queen City. A man who drinks, and tells me he doesn't like Olympia beer—" it's the water" —cannot ever expect to twang on a golden harp and wear a crown. Keep your hand on your 25-cent coin when you visit Aberdeen, or your relations may receive a message saying your body was discovered in the bay. The booster who always Iwosts and the knocker who always knocks are very tiresome and obnoxious indi viduals and should be shunned by the rational. Money is a golden mask. What does it not hide? It makes the old young, the ugly beautiful, and wraps a mantel of innocence over the scarlet breast of Crime. Sunday in the Queen City is one of rest and sorrow, if report be true, to all those who forgot to lay in a supply of " red eye" and Olympia " It's the water." It doesn't require any more time for a woman to curl hair and put her hat on than it does a man to tell about the fish he hooked, hut got away. Not a bit. Money is a very good thing to have in this world. One does not discover how really valuable it is until he feels the want of it. With money one is king, without it a beggar. Bandmaster Duss announees that it takes real technique to play the base-drum. This will at once give someone the idea of starting a corre spondence school to teach it. It doesn't always pay for a man to " toot his own horn." Bandmaster Wagner was tooting his cornet in a funeral parade when he was knocked down by a street car, in Seattle. His ankle was badly twisted. What is more disgusting than to see a man making the bed, washing dishes and sweep, while his wife, strong and healthful rocks a poodle dog to sleep. I know of such a thing right here in Olympia. Ugh! Man is a fool generally where a woman is concerned. They will wind the poor, shallow idiots around their fingers, break their hearts, crush their vanity, and then laugh at the triumph of their power. The bishop of Galway says there would be less lunacy in Ireland if the children were fed more on potatoes and oatmeal and less on tea. This is one of the best sermons I have ever heard a bishop accused of speaking. It is a far more difficult task for some men to hold an umbrella over a woman for the distance of a block, than it is to carry twenty-five glasses of beer —Olympia " It's the water" at that—for a distance of two miles. The man who wrote that " Charity covers a multitude of sins," should have added that a golden mask cov ers all crimes. Dazzle the eyes of the world with the yellow, glittering dross, and they are blind to aught else. First Man: "It is just impossible for me to keep a lead pencil. People are always borrowing, you know, and they always forget to return." Second Man: " Why, I never have any trouble. See, I've a whole vest l»ocketful of pencils." First Man: " Doesn't'that prove just what I said?" Portland is to be a "closed" town. It always was a "close" burg any how. Sleepy old Portland, with its muddy stream, for some unknown reason called a river—the Willam ette. Well, nolmdy, outside of some one who has missed a train, and is compelled to remain over night in that cemetery of a town, will care if its "closed" or "open." "Hew to the Line, Let the Chips Fall "Where they May." Ja k London lias told the press that " Teddy ' does not know so much alnnit animal nature as he thinks he does. "Teddy" has criti cised als 10k of Jack's. Now it's up to the editor of the Is/.,,,,/ /'aunty Tillus to tell the "aforesaid [jondon" that during all " Teddy's" career the /Tot tiie United States never has advanced any opinion as to the nature of wild adimals. I notice in one or two exchanges that Congressman Cushiuan. it is rumored, will edit theTaeoma Lnliirr. Can you imagine anything more silly than this fake yarn? Do you sup- IHise that a Republican Congressman would give up liis position of telling " funny" stories to the government representatives in Washington, D. C., to take his " pen in hand" and soon, in editing a daily newspaper? Perish the thought. "Hetwecn you. me. and the gate post. it's like finding a whole oyster in the soup, or a full-sized elain in the stew, to wake up in Seattle," said a friend of mine, Monday, who was down to Seattle last week, "and see a full Ixittlc of Olyinpiu ' It's the water,' smiling at you. after you supposed you had not left a drop the night before. Hut as 1 never found the oyster or the elain, neither did 1 the Itottle. Hut isn't it delight ful to build air eastles of ' it might have l»een?' " Gratitude sometimes turns into hate, apparently without reason, ex cept that the weight of obligation is t<x> heavy to be Imrno with ease. Many a man and woman in this world has —like the snake —turned upon and stung the hand that has befriended them. Gratitude is an uncertain ally to count upon in this world's 1 Kittles. There are some in this life so worthless at heart that the more you do for them the more they think you ought to do —who really hate you because they <»#•< in debted to you. The wholesomeness of hot bread has IXHMI a subject of argument be tween the North and South from time immcmorablc, and it is no near er a settlement to-day than it was twenty years ago. Northern physic ians and dietists say hot bread is ruinous to the digestion, and that it will undermine the most vigorous health and destroy the beauty of the most perfect complexion. Southern doctors point in refutation of this statement to the health and beauty of many Southern men and women, ami so it goes. Neither faction gives in, and each eats the particular sort of bread his own habits and tastes lead him to prefer. Please pass the biscuits. Reason Named. One day some Americans on a visit to Wales expressed a wish to see a certain old and historic church. The incumbent was only too pleased to show them round, especially as he believed it would end in a donation being given to his parochial funds. He is as proud of the school as he is of the church, and finished up by asking them in there also, and invit ing them to question the scholars. One of the party accepted the in vitation. " Can you tell me, little boy," said he to one lad, " who George Wash ington was?" " Iss surr." said he, "hewass a 'Merrycan gen'ral." "Quite right." said the American, " And can you tell me what George Washington was remarkable for?" " Iss, surr; 'e was remarkable 'cos 'c wass a 'Merrycan an' told the trewth." The American didn't question fur ther. How To Hake Your Canary Happy. A lady of our acquaintance, sus pecting her canary might have lice, took it in the early evening, after it had gone to roost, and sprinkled it well with the insect powder usually sold at bird stores. She then covered the top of the cage with a towel. In the course of the evening she picked 115 lice from the towel. She made that bird happy by killing 115 lice that were living upon it. We have found by experience that noth ing adds more to the happiness of our canaries than to buy little ten-cent mirrors and hang on their cages in such position that neither the sun nor light shall dazzle the birds. They apparently take as much pleas ure in looking at their pretty selves as any young lady or gentlemen who reads this article. Buried Forest*. In the region of tidewater Vir ginia a number of fine old forests of cypress and pine are being gradually but inevitably covered by great mountains of sand. These forests in many cases are several centuries old. their trees having reached immense proportions. The encroachment of the sand has been going on for years. Carried by the wind and waves, it has gradually covered these immense trees with their heavy underbrush until what, in many places, was once forest is to the eye, at least, now merely a series of sand dunes. Great tracts of this ancient forest are ob viously doomed to utter destruction. Animtl Stories. Here are a few animal stories that are respectfully referred to President Roosevelt: Judges 14:5-9. 1 Kings 13:23-28. Daniel 6:lti-24. Jonah 1:17; 2:1-10. Genesis 30:37-43. Numbers 22:22-31. IJy the time President Roosevelt has paid attention to these animal stories and put the writers thereof in the Rev. William J. Long class, we will have some more from the same source ready for him. OLYMPIA, WASH I N(.TON: FRIDAY MORNING, JUNE 21, 1007. GOOD OUT OF AN EVIL EVEN TIDE OF IMMIGRATION MAY BE TURNED TO USE. The President Throws a Tid-Bit to the La bor Organizations by " Recognizing' Pow derly as Head ot a Newly Organized Bu reau of Information Immigrants a Curse to the Crowded Eastern Labor Field It Is Proposed to Send Applicants West, and Claim Credit lor Both Supply and De mand lreland to Revive Her Tobacco Re source —The Foraker and Taft War Still On —The Government Engages in Rat- Killing. (From our lU-eular Correspondent.) WASHINGTON, D. C., June L"«, 1007. The appointment was announced from the White House this week of Terance V. Powderly, one time Com missioner of Immigration to lie chief of a new division that has l>een created in the Immigration Bureau. It is to be known as the Bureau of Informa tion and its object is to distribute the immense tide of immigration over the country rather than have it all settle immediately around New York. It is a good scheme and one much needed, but there remains the ques tion of whether or not the immi grants can be induced to accept its well meant offices. The bureau will keep in touch with the Governors of States and State immigration of ficials. of whom there are many, and will provide all the information that can be demanded as to the latn»r market, available land, railroad lines, fares and other pointers on which newly arrived immigrants may want to act. The conditions in the mid dle oast with the increasing tide of immigration are deplorable. Most of the immigrants settle in New York, most of them in the city and some in the State. Others scatter to nearby States. Then? were nearly a million and a half arrivals last year and of these 80 per cent settled in New York, Pennsylvania, Delaware and Massa chusetts. Meantime the rest of the country was crying for labor and would have been glad to get all of the aliens who were willing to work. It is believed that the Division of Infor mation can do something toward re medying the conditions. Mr. Pow derly, who has been made the chief of the division, was formerly the head of the Knights of Labor. He is a good organizer and an amiable man to deal with. The appointment was palpably made with a view to captur ing the labor vote. News has been received by the De partment of Agriculture through its agents abroad that there promises to lie a marked revival of tobacco grow ing in Ireland. This is of importance to the United States because tobacco is one of the export crops of this country and England is one of our best customers. Ireland used to be a tine tobacco country, but with a view to crippling the country indus trially when the political struggle with England was at its height, a prohibitive tax was laid on tobaeco growing anil the industry was effec tively killed. This was as far back as 1838. Within the past few years attempts have been made to revive the industry, but a special permit had to be obtained from the English government even to grow experimen tal crops. The trial has been a great success, a crop of 14,000 pounds of very good tobacco having biim grown on a 340-aere tract. It is now pro posed t" rcjx'l the prohibitive law and give the country a new and pro fitable industry. An agent of the Irish Department of Agriculture is to be sent to this country to get suitable seed and an application will be made for some expert tobacco growers to go over and superintend the work. The breach betwt*en the Republi can factions in Ohio has by no means been healed according to a statement issued this week by Senator Foraker who is here attending the Browns ville inquiry. Dispatches front Ohio said that there has been friendly conferences between Mr. Foraker's colleague Senator Dick and Chas. P. Taft, brother of the Secretary. The inference was that thore was to be a coalition and a burying of the hat chet. Senator Foraker was intense ly angry when shown the dispatches and said that no such conference had been held with his knowledge and consent and nono ever would be. It looks as though the internecino war in Ohio is to continue. In the same connection, the Knox Presidential boom is assuming no ticeable proportions. Senator Knox is eminently a conservative man and the sort of a candidate who could at tract much strength that would not be openly hostile to President Roose velt and yet that does not wish to follow him to his full length. The commercial interests of the country would feel that they stood more show of influencing him than they would Secretary Taft and for that reason he would be a more desirable candidate from their point of view. Two appointments to one oflice have this week been made in the South with the obvious design of cap turing all the strength of southern Republicanism possible for the com ing convention. Geo. Capers of South Carolina has been appointed Commissioner of Internal Revenue, a confessedly n>l interim appointment awaiting the coming of Pearl Wight of New Orleans, who will take the same office in December. It is gen erally known that Mr. Wight could just as well have taken the office at once, but there was only the one of lice of the sort at command, and of course it had to be used to the best advantage. Farmers, small merchants and householders, in fact everyone, will be interested in the war that the De partment of Agriculture is waging against the rats and mice. The De partment has just issued a small pamphlet for free distribution giving the latest and best advice of its ex perts on rat trapping and poisoning, rat-proof building construction, the protection of poultry houses, corn cribs and the like, it is said that the damage by rats in this country is hard to calculate, hut it amounts to more each year than from all other animal pests combined. The pam phlet on rat-killing ought to lie a popular publication and is certainly a very practical one. The trial commenced in Washing ton this week of Edwin S. Holmes, formerly Assistant Statistician of the Department of Agriculture, who is charged with being res|tonsil>le for the "leak" in the crop reports al most two years ago. Holmes was a small government official, but he managed to get rich while in office and invested in apartment houses and did other things that indicated an income far l>cyondhis salary. He claims that he made his money in mining sjieculation. but this is a ]H>int that will lie brought out in his trial. The charge against him is con spiracy to defraud the government. Dkm. ————— The Unpreventable. They were going over the morn ing's mail. " Here." said the confidential Sec retary. "are one million live hun dred thousand additional prayers from Americans asking that no more prosperity lie sent them; they've got all they can stand." St. Peter looked worried. "Those Americans," lie exclaimed. " are on unreasonable lot! How can we do anything in the matter as long as they keep the Dingley tariff in force? However, you may hand the prayers to the Recording Angel and have them entered on the books as a a matter of form." Wrapping Piper* for tbe Nail. Next time you are ready to mail either magazines or papers try wrap ping them this way: Stretch a cord along the length of the folded article to l>e wrapped, then roll as usual. The ends of the string will now lie left dangling from the bundle. When the sealing and directing have been done, bring the two ends of the cord together, cross and pass once or twice around the package and finally tie them carefully. Thus fas tened, all sorts of bundles will go safely through the mails, defying even the very roughest handling. A Good Eaomplo. The fruit growers and business men of Nooksaek, met last week and decided to form a co-operative com pany to have in charge the shipping and canning of fruit and vegetables raised on the ranches adjacent to town. Over $2,000 has been sub scribed, and the lumber has been bought and is on the ground for the building of a fruit and vegetable canning factory in Nooksaek. The building is to lie 50 by 80 feet, and work is to be pushed as rapidly as possible. An Aatooiihcii Indian. In one of the engagements of Gen. Sheridan with the Indians, his men, taken unaware by the redskins, hail no time to remove their mountain howitzer from the mule buck, so they blazed away, sending mule and gun tumbling together down hill upon he Indians, wl oflsi in panic. One of them, captured a few days afterward, was asked why he ran away. He replied: "Me big Injun; me no 'fruid of little guns or big guns; but when white man shoots jackass at Injun me light out damn quick." Jnbilation. Avoid worry. Fear ami Hurry; Stop repining, Likewise whining; No use crying. Even sighing; Just keep smiling, Care beguiling; Vow you're healthy. Wise and wealthy; Affirmations, Right vibrations; Transformation I Jubilation I The Largest Steamship. The Auguste Victoria of the Ham burg-American Line, is the largest steamer in the world, Iteing 700 feet long, 77 feet in beam and 54 foot deep. She will displace, when fully laden, 42,500 tons. Her pas senger accomodations include 550 first-class, 300 second, 250 third and 2,300 steerage passengers, while her complement of officers and crew is 600 men, giving a grand total of 4,000 on board. ■■■—■ • • —— THE Northern born sons of a South ern mother were sent to school in a Northern city. One day they came home and announced: "The North licked the South. We're North and you're South!" " Yes," their mother said, as she reached behind the door for the con venient strap, " hut now the time's come, I reckon, to show you how the South can lick the North!" Death From Fright. Fright caused by the sight of a green worm crawling over her buck and bringing on convulsions has caused the death of the 2-year-oUI girl near Grangeville, Idaho, lately. The little tot was playing ulxmt the yard with a pet dog, when she dis covered the worm upon her back. Giving one prolonged scream she immediately went into convulsions from which she never recovered. IK you want boiled meat to lie ten der, don't allow it to boil after the first ten minutes. After this it should be moved back and allowed to just simmer, which is a very different thing from boiling. Boiling hardens the meat and makes it tough, Stan&affo. THE TIDE. Once in our lives the tide goes out Leaving a desert of sand, Sweeping our hopes and dreams away. All that was joyful, grand. Tangle of seaweed strewn about, Far from the rocks where they grew, Lifeless anil drear, like hopes thai died, Moments of rapture we knew. Once in our lives our priceless gems That vanish like pebbles and shell. Leaving us bowed in grief and tears — Tears we endeavored to ipiell. Leaving us lone with empty hands, Seeking the treasures we missed, Longing f () r friends gone long before. Yearning for lips we have kissed. <(nee in our lives the tide gi>es out. Yet, while we weep l»y the shore. Foaming and singing the waves roll in, Healing the heart that was sore. Filling our souls with purer joys, 'Kound us its treasures it hurls, Till we behold through tearful eyes Millions of shimmering pearls. —/,«<■ I i riimi. The Sympathetic Judge. A certain judge who once presided over a criminal court was famous as one of the compassionate men who ever had sat on the liench. His soft ness of heart, however, did not pre vent him from doing his duty as judge in that court. A man who had been convicted of stealing a small amount was brought iuto the court for sentence. He looked very sad and hopeless, and the court was much moved by bis contrite appearance. " Have you ever lteen sentenced to imprisonment?" the judge asked. " Never! Never!" exclaimed the prisoner, bursting into tears. "Don't cry, don't cry." said the judge consolingly. " You're going to be now." The Perfect Lover. Mrs. Carrie Chapman Catt. the famous woman's rights leader, said of an untactful motion at a woman's club: " This motion, in its delicacy, re minds me of a Ripon man. " The man got married, and after he had been married several years his wife said to him one night: " ' You do not speak as effivtion ately to me as you used to, Hal. I fear you have seased to love me.' " ' Ceased to love you!' growled the man. ' There you go again. Ceased to love you! Why, I love you more than life itself. Now shut tip and let me read the paper.' " Narital Rights. " You have alienated my wife's af fections," said the visitor, and there was a glint in his eye. "And," said the man addressed, with a covert sneer, "you propose to seek financial salve?" " Salve nothing," replied the visi tor. '' I caine merely to offer sympa thy, and to remark that if my home is broken up the bull pup is my per sonal property, and don't you forget it." Sarcastic " Papa," said little Johnnie Bings, " won't you give me half a dollar to buy a pair of roller skates?" "No, I won't; I haven't any money to squander on skates." " You might," dryly remarked Mrs. Bings, "let Johnnie have the skates you had on last lodge night. 1 am sure they ought to lie good ones, for they cost you enough." ONK of the IX'st articles of furni ture the kitchen can have is a rather high chair, in which to sit when peel in*; potatoes, washing dishes, or when ironing. Lazy? Not a bit of it! Just cheating the doctor and length ening life, that is all; and that is worth looking after. Mighty Was the Fall. George held her hand and she held hisn; Soon they hugged and went to kizn! Ignorant, her pa had rizn— Madder'n hops and simply sizzn— ? *!•!?•! Gee! but George went out whiznl Simple Synonym. His Wifo (writing)— Which is prop er, "disillusioned ' or " disillusion ized?" Her Huslwnd —Oh, just say "mar ried," and let it go at that. Couldn't Go the Payee. A young lady who wrote her name Grayce As a Summer girl entered the rayce; Put she failed to win 'Cause ulie was so thin— And besides she hadn't the fayce. The Eternal Balance. Mary's ma wears bombazine, Mary's gown is silk ; While she skims the magazine Mama skims the milk. Ezperience Will Teach. Rosa (aged 12)— Mother, why is it that they always speak of the God dess of Victory and never of the God of Victory? Her Mother —When you're married, my dear, you'll understand that. His Crown in Weight as Well as Fame. William J. Bryan has grown stout in the last few years. His present weight is 234 pounds, while at the time he entered the campaign in 189ti it was lt!s. He was then thirty-six. It Was a Big Egg. An egg weighing seven ounces was laid by a Black Minorca lien on the ranch of Mrs. K. Quale, near North port. this week. An ordinary egg weighs from 22 to 3 ounces. Being a Fish. Tommy (looking thoughtfully into an utpiarium) " Mamma, I think the worst thing about being a little tish would bo having a mamma with out any lap. " SOME are sure they will find rest in heaven because they are sleepy in church, TURNED THE TABLES.! A STORY OF ARTEMUS WARD AND HENRY J. BYRON. The Famous Wit Started in to Have Some Fun With the Dramatist, but Found in the End That He Had Net Hit Natch at at Chaffing. What follows relates to the first meeting of the late Henry J. Byron and Artemus Ward. It was at the Savage club after one of the Saturday dinners, and Tom Robertson suggest ed to Artemus to have a tilt with By ron and. if possible, draw him out. The genial showman had only Iteen in England a few days, but he knew By ron's "metier" and went for him in this fashion: " 1 fancy I have a seen a face like yours before. Did you ever have a brother Alonzo?" Robertson was lie hind Artemus and winked at Byron. "Alas, I had!" replied the drama tist. instantly catching the situation. " He was a mariner, engaged on the deep?" " That's so." "You haven't heard of him for five years?" Byron affected to lie lost in reflection and deliberately replied: "It's five years ago this very day. How cur ious you should mention it. sir!" " Well, sir." replied Artemus, tak ing out his handkerchief and pretend ing to wipe away a tear, " I sailed the salt sea with your brother. We were wrecked together in the Gulf of Mexico, ard before help came I killed and ate him! The moment I saw you I recognized the likeness. He was a good fellow, full of tender feeling." " I am glad you found hitn tender," interrupted Byron, also pulling out his handkerchief. " But sir, I am awfully sorry I ate him," said Arte mus in the most imperturbable fash ion, "Had I known I should ever meet his brother I am sure I'd have gone without food some weeks longer, but I was driven to it. and you will forgive me, won't you? I liked Al onzo." and he offered his hand to By ron, which the latter shook with cor dality. " Excuse my emotion, won't you?" gasped Byron in his handkerchief. "He never wrote and told me what hud become of him. I hope he agreed with you." "A slight indigestion afterward. He was a little tough," replied Arte mus, " but we'll not speak of that. We both suffered. He suffered most. But remember, sir, the law can't tough me now. It was stern necessity, and necessity, as you may have heard, knows no law. But I am willing to pay you damages for the loss. Alsjut what would you think a fair com pensation?" " Don't mention it," said Byron, who now thought it time to turn tin tables. '"I think your name is Ward?" said he. " Yes." " Arteinus Ward?" " Quite so." " You had a father?" "I had." "He was a Yankee peddler in his own country, was he not? Sold bug pizen and fine tooth combs?" " You've hit the comb —I mean the nail —on the head." " He died in the Black Country of Kngland, did he not ?" *' He did." " Well. I killed him. I knew you were his son the moment I laid eyes on you. He was a nice old gentle men. and I made his acquaintance in Staffordshire. He wished to go down a deep coal mine; so did 1, and we went down together, had a good time, explored, lunched with the miners, drank more than was good for us and proceeded to return to Mother Earth's surface. After you have been down a mine you are fond of your mother, I assure you. The prodigal felt noth ing to what I experienced. We en tered the huge basket and were be ing slowly drawn toward the mouth of the pit when I saw the old rope was about to snap under the strain. It was a perilous, a horrible, a criti cal moment. The weight of two men was too great, and poor father was a broad, bulky man. Self-preserva tion is the first law of nature. An instant more and we were both lost. We seemed to be about 50 feet from the top. I hastily called your father's atten tion to something—implored him. in fact —to look down the mine. He did so, and as I gently tipped him over he went whirling and crashing to the bottom. It was rough on him, but I saved myself. I ciphered it out on the instant like this: t He is an old man, nearly bald, deaf in one ear, two teeth gone in front, with only a few years to live. lam half his age, strong and healthy, the father of a young family, with a career before me, a comedy to finish for the Hay market and a burlesque accepted at the Strand. Now, 1 ask you, under the circumstances, did I not behave nobly?" " You did!" sobbed Artemus. "I i would have acted that way myself." " I ain glad to find you so intelli gent. You ate my brotherand found iiim tough, and 1 am the assassin of your dear old father," continued By ron, keeping up the farce of pretend ed emotion. "We are loth avenged. Let us draw a veil over the past and never allude to these heartrending incidents again." "Agreed. We cry quits. Shake!" roared Artemus. extending both hands and dramatically dashing a Hood of imaginary tears from his eyes. Then he summoned a waiter, glasses round were speedily ordered, and everybody was full of congratula tion upon the ready manner in which the two wits had conducted their im promptu chaff. OASTORZA. BtanU* Kind You Haw Always Battel WHOLE NUMBER 2.454- Oiympia-Tacoma pav. Co. TIME CARD. Effective February 4, 1907. CiREVnOC.NI> (Daily.) | Returniug— I.v. Oly in |iih 7.00 a. in I.v, Olyni|iia . . 1.00 |> in Ar. Tacoma . 9.45 a. m |Ar. Tacoma . :<.K p. m Lt. Tacouta iniWa. m.lLv. Taconta ..4UUp.ni Ar. Olympia 12.45 p. in.: Ar. Olympia 6.40 p. lu MCI.TNOMAH. (Daily except Sun.) | Returning— I.v. olym|iia 4 (10 p. m. Lv. Seattle .. -.45 a. nt. Ar. Tacoina .7.15 p. in ' Ar. Tacoina S.UU a. in. I.v. Vacuum .5.30 p. tu.'Lv. Taconia... 7.30 a. in. Ar. Seattle 10.45 p. ran Ar. Olympia .10.45 a. ra. The Greyhound nialtea direct conneetiona at Tacoina with the steamer Flyer at 3.55 p. in. and luterurban limited at 4.15 for Seattle. Passengers leaving Seattle on 8 a. m. and 3 p. ra. Interurban trains, or on the 2.05 p. m. steam - er Fiver will make direct connection with the Greyhound at Taeoma for Olympia. The Greyhound connects with the Sheltou boat on the 7 a. m. and 1 p m trip from Olympia, and on the 4 p. m. trip from Tacoma. Through tickets sold over the Interurban. In cluding street car rides for $1.25 or $2.25 round trip. (iver the steamer Flyer lor sl.lO or t1.75 round trip. Meals served on board for 50 cents. Tacoma and Olympia passengers from Seattle may come aboard the Multnomah at 11 p. m. aud take berths. Fare between Olympia and Tacoma. 75 cents; round trip. (1.2.5. Between Olympia and Seattle on Multnomah, Jl.or sl.7sround trip; viasteam er Flyer from Tacoma, sl.lO, or $1.75 round trip; via Interurban from Tacoma. Including street car rides. $1.25, or $2.25 round trip. Berths, 50c. Meals, 50c. Multnomah leaving Olympia at 4 p. m. makes conneetiona at the N. P. dock Tacoma, with the 7.30 p m. steamer Flyer for Seattle. F. if. MARVIN, J. C. PERCIVAL, General Manager. Secretary. PHONIC MAIN 33 POST. MARR PROPRIETOR HOME DRUG STORE OPPOSITE WASHINGTON SCHOOL Has a well assorted and relia ble stock of Drags, Patent Medicines STATIONERY And Related Sundries Such as Toilet Soaps, Complexion Pow der, Perfumery, Brushes for the hair, the teeth and clothes; Dressing and Fine Combs. Mirrors, Nursing Buttles and Fix tures, Ac., Ac. In scholars' supplies, Tablets, Slates, Pencils, Pencil Sharpeners, Pens, Pen holders, Colored Crayous, Composition and Note Books, Drawing Books and In short such variety as is to be fonnd in a well-regulated Drug and Stationery Store, all ottered at lowest prices, eon sistent with quality, with prompt and efficient service assured to all patrons. ;* THE I'OI'CI.AK i; TONY FAUST RESTAURANT. < ► c. holthcsen, -. proprietor. 4 * "O • ► The table will be lerved with >ll the < ► dellctcie. of tb. KIWU. Oj.en day • ► and night 4« «0 Main Street, Oljapia, Wuli. ♦♦♦♦♦»»♦♦♦♦♦♦»»♦♦»♦♦♦»m< OS© » ALBERT BRUCKER C. 11. KKICIIEL I s <x> I | ALBERT'S PLAGE gj Caters to the Thirsty I 00 5$ BRUCKER A REICHEL, PROPRIETORS FT ME WEST FOURTH STREET OX.TMPIA Coffee House Bread RigHt at Your Door and at 3 Cent a Loaf a • • The finest cup of coffee in the city our specialty. FRED SCHWIN, Proprietor. 420 Fourth Street. Next door to bans dale's Grocery Store. R. J. PRICKMAN. Artistic Tailor, IS SHOWING A BEAUTIFUL LINE OF 600DS Both ataidirl u< uatl. MAIN ST.. BET. FIFTH AND SIXTH CEO. C. ISRAEL Attorney at Law OLYMPIA, WASH Office, Suite 6. McKcnay Block, comer Fourth tad Mtlu streets. Telephone Main l.V> CIIAS. E. MILLER, Attornoy-at-Law South Bend, Wash.