Vermont farmer. [volume], December 09, 1870, Page 8, Image 8

About Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877

Image provided by: University of Vermont

                
8
VERMONT JPARMER.
PEN-SPATTEES.
An objoet oflntercst Sovun-thlrties.
Du.iivr tlmn lifo Fiislilormblo funurnl.s.
Men who tukc Ihlngs us tlioy conu; stlong
Thiuves.
A go:it tliuuglt gooil ns a milkiT, auccvuiU
best sis n buttur.
Wlmt goes most tigsilnst a farmcr'a grain?
His rcnpcr.
Our girls aro poorly eililcnted, but our boys
will nevcr find it out.
Why is :m cm'pty gingor bcur bottlo llku an
orpbun? lk'causo it has lost ita "iop."
Ho tuniperato iri tllet. Our first-pnrcnts
atu themsolvod out of houso nnd homo.
A yoiing lady in SUiunton, Vn., kccps a list
of lior nmlu acqiiaintnnces in a pockot diary,
nnd calls it her him- book. ,
A Georgia darkoy bet 810 ho could drink a
quart of Atlanta whiskuy. Tho wager was
proinptly paid to liis widow.
A siek man wus told that his wifo would
probably nmrrj- again. " AH right," said ho.
"for thuro will bo uno man that will lainont
mydoath!"
" IV said a littlo friond of ours, " wliat's
tho usc of giving our littlo pigs so mucli
milk? Thoy mako liogs of thumsolvcs." Pa
walkod away.
When a man nnd a wonian aro niaile one,
tho quostionis: "Which ono?" SoiiictiiuiM
thero is a long strngglo butwuuii tliom boforc
tho niattor is scttlod.
Old gcntleman disgusted : " Ilere. waitor,
here's a catorpillar in this sonp!" Waitor,
ilippantly " les, sir. Abont tho tiine of
yoar for 'cm just now, sir."
A Wisconsin editor was callcri out of bcd
ono night to receivo a subscription. Aftor
that ho set upniglits forover a woek, but tlio
oflonco was not ropoatod.
" Wlicnovor I find a handsum woman en
gaged in tho ' wiinmin's riglits biznosa,' "says
.Josh IHIlings " thon I am gomg tow tako mi
hat undor nii arm nnd jino tho proeossion."
An Irishman, boing asked why Iio rtifuscd
to pay n doctor's bill, said : " Sliurc, ho didn't
givo any tiiing but somo oinotics, and not a
ono would stay in my stumniick atall at nll."
A man in U'ayno county, Misaisslppi. is
feeding his cow on junipor borrios, to got hcr
to givo gin and milk. It cannot bo dono, any
moro than a hon can bo mado to lay scrnm-
bled cggs by stirring her with a pole.
A gentleman tnking his moming wnlk on
tho Fitehburg railroad track, noar Boston,
thought he feU something toueh hini from
bohind. Tho coroner's inquost decidod that it
was a locomotivo, propolling a tr,nln of
lrelght cars.
Tho foliowing touching epitaph is to bo
found on tho tombstono of a Colorndo doacon
" When ciroumstancesrondoredit impossiblo
for him to attond tho statod proaching of tho
gospol, he made it a sacrcd rulo to kill an
Indian every Snbbath."
An Arkansas man, scnterieed to bo hanged,
ia in a bad way. The neighboring carpenters
refuso to build the gnllows, and tho Sheriff
don t know how. Tho prisoner is a carpcn
ter hlmsolf, and tho Sheriff has tried sovernl
timps to havo him build it, but ho says " ho'U
bo hanged if ho will."
Tho artof saying disagreeablo things in a
pre'tty way has beon brought to great pcrfoo-
tion by Fronoh womon. Tho othor day two
"doarcst friends" wero in convorsation.
" My dear;" said tho "eldost, "do youknow
that your husband told mo last night thatmy
cheeks werollko rosesP" " Yes, lovo, Iknow
ho did, Ho spoko of it to mo nfterwnrd, and
Those who will assist us in cxtcndin the
circulation of the Farmer, will hcar of llboral
tenns by addrcssing a notc to the publishcr.
Extra NuMUiiits. Pcrsons subscribing
now for the Far.mbr one vear, will rcccive it
during thcrcmaindcrof this and for the cntire
yenr 1871.
Singlc numbers in wrappcrs ready for
maiting may- bc hnd at the oflicc of publication
frte, by those who may wish to send a copy
to thci'r friends.
This numbcr of the Farmer is sent to some
of the Icading nL'riculturists in the statc and
out of it, in the hopc thatthcy will be plcascd
with its appcarancc and forward thcir sub-scriptions.
Itwill be uselcss to order the Farmkr un-
lcss the pay accompanies the order. The
margin of profit left us is too small to allow
us to pay any attcntion to collections or
keeping books.
The Farmer is printcd in convenient form
for binding, and we would bc glad to have
subscribcrs .preserve each numbcr for that
purposc. An index will be printcd with the
!ast numberof the volumc, making it a very
uscful book for refcrencc.
Papers on Trial. We desirc that all
subscriptions. shall be at least for onc yenr,
but to those who may not be rcady to sub
scribe for a year, but would likc to try the
paper, we will send it three months for twen
ty-fivc ccnts, paid in advancc.
Wc give no prcmiums and have no' club
ratcs. All sUch gratuitics we glve votTTJr
the subscnption pnce,. feeling assurcd that
each subscriber would prcfcr to keep in his
pocket the extra twenty-fivc or fifty cents he
would othcrwise have to pay us.
As our lcrms are fay in advatice no one will
have any difliculty in stopping his paper. at
ai.l papers will stop when thc subscriptions
expire, unlcss renewed, but we shall endeavor
to notify each subscriber at the time his
subscription cxpires. Rathcr than to forcc a
paper upon a subscriber we shall endeavor to
make it so valuable that no onc can afford to
bc without it.
Our Terms. As we are a firm believer in
small profits and largc sales, wc have fixcd
the subscription price of the Farmer at the
very small sum of $1.00 per annum in a"d
vance, at which it will only be remunerative
with a large circulation. The first part of the
contract then, the small profits, is settled in
advancc, and now if those in whose intereits
we labor will pretty generally respond to the
second part in advancc, the success of our en-
terprise is certain, We believe they will, and
that the Farmer, in due time, will rcap a
fruitful harvest.
Book-Binding. We are agent for the
largest and bdst Book-Bindery in Vermont or
New Hampshire, that of the Claremont Man
Ufachtring Company, and take orders fqr
binding magazines, papers, sheet music, pic
tures, or any thing that anyof dur friends may
wish to have put into a neat and serviccable
binding, and dellver the work at the Farmer
Ofiice, at the same prices you would have to
pay were you to goto the bindery yourself, the
Company paying frcight both ways. We are
sending work to the bindery very often, so
that orders may be brought in any time, and
they will go with the next lot. Samples may
VERMONT IIISTOIUOAL GAZETTEEK.
vot. 1.
ADDISON, BENNINGTON, CALEDONIA, CIinTKXDKN,
AND KSSKX C0l)NTIKS 1103 pp., IJ.00 la paper.
VOL. II.
FRANKLIN, GRAND ISLK, LAMOILLE, ORANQK, AND
OKLBANS COUNTIKS) H7J pp., (completed now to
WeitAeld) $5.00 la paper tlll adrerttaed from preaa after,
$7.00 at retall. Due la December.
Vol. II haa flne ateel portratU of llou. l'ortua Baxter,
Hcr. P. II. White, Hon. and ller. A Lyon, Kx-Oor. i. 0.
Smlth, Oen. Stannanl, Ocn. lllchanlwn, tic.
MISS 1IIMENWAY,
JCd. Vtrmont Gaiettttr,
1-12 Burlington, Vt.
THETFORD NURSERY
Kefbllahcd ln 185.
Applc, Pcar nnd Pliim Trccs,
, Such as are adapted to thts cllmate, aUo
Grape Vines, Gooseberries, Strawberriei,
Easberries, Blackberries,
Currants, &c.
IN GREAT VARIETY,
Conovcr's Colnsual AHparunus,
POTATOISS FOH SEKU,
Ohoice Flower Seeds !
Oladlolus BnlhK, &c.
Stfit Uiiap for Cutulogue.
H. P. CL0SS0N.
1- TIIKTFOIID, AT.
ATTENTION, FARMERS !
WUI he kept at the itahle of the ftulwcribcr. fur the tmprove
ment of Sw Iuet
Two Pure-Bred White Chester Boars.
Tf mn, $2.00, to lw paid At the time of wrvlce.
II. C. CLGVKLAND,
Coieutry, Vu
E. C. WORCESTER,
FLORIST.
THETFORD, VT.,
CULTIVATOR OF, AND DEALER IN,
Hardy Ornamental Shrubt, Vines, Roies,
' and Hardy Herbaceous Plants,
In the cholceat rarletlea, and thoae lt adapted to the climate
of Northern New England alao,
Tbe Very Cliolceit Varletlea of
GREENHOUSE PLANTS,
Sot bouie culture and for keddlnjr out.
Mt Nuracrjwu eitahlUhed ln 1852, and haiieeurod a
teadily tncreulng patronage ilnce that Ume.
SEND STAMP FOR CATALOOUK.
FOR SALE!
Pure-Bred 'Wlilto Cbester Flfita
Two Boar Plgi, 12 weekt okl. Price, 12M eaeh, boxed
and deUrered at the exprcas offtcc.
n. c. ci.KVKi.Asru.
Corentry, VU, Dee. S, 1810.
TIIE CLAltKMOMT MANTJFACTU1UND
COMPANY,
CLAHKMONT, . NEW HAMP8IURE,
Manufacturen of
PAPER AND BOOKS,
8TJEIIEOTYPEI18,
JOB BOOK BINOCRS AND PRINTERS,
Bolicit jrour orden for anjrthlng under the above
hcadi, and offer
Caah for llnga and Old Paper.
THE BOSTON JOURNAL
K)B 1871.
Then-ubllihen of the H0ST0N JOL'ltNAU In prewutlnK the
Pnrtpcctua of thelr publicaUon for 1871, fcel conndent that Uie
proniinea inmle a year atro have bcen fully rwieemcd. There
hai lieen uo dlmlnutlon of Uielr efforU. no retrenchnient of
thelr exiKitue account, and no laclc of entcriirisc. The rtnult
hai becut Uiat a a
WIDK AWAICK NBWSPAPKIl
It Ii apprcclated hy the reading puhllc of New Kngtand, and
will atart upon it 'f k
NEW VOLUMK
Kncouraiccd b thenott generous pntr,onage erer extended to
a New lingtend newiiwpcr. During the pait year T1IR
J0U11N Ah haa met public expectAtlou by IU full and colou
Lettera from the War (belng thetmly lloston ncwipaper which
lupporta a Bpeclal Korelgn Correpoudeut.) and 1U
NKWS I11I11KAUS
In l'arli, Lomlon, Washington, New Yorlc, New Ilampahlre,
Vermont. Malne and Connecticut hare furntshed Iti colunuu
with a great varlety of
NE1V9 BY TELEGIIAPII AND TIIK BIAIL.S.
The TypoKraDhlcal appearanoe of TIIK JOUltNAL, which
hai been Improred wltliln the puit year, will recelre co"atant
care.
TIIK POLITICAI. DISPARTMBNT
will contaln the earlleat Infonnatton uiwn the great toplca of
the day. and arrunitemenU Iiave been made to iireaent candld
critlcinms uion all jK.lltlc&l erenU.
OUIl COllPS OF COIIIIESPONDKNTS.
will Include Perlty, A. 0. W.. Warrinirton. Toby Candor. F.
K., Hanger, llurlclpli, Oocnilonal, nnd a hiwt of othen, whone
contrlbullon, have given to TIIK JOUUNAL ita rcputatlon ln
mis uejtarttnent.
TIIE UEPOIITS OP MEKTINGS
will contlnue to be a aiwcial feature of TIIK JOL'ltNAU Our
corpa of verbutlm repunera U not eftulcd by any iaier In
aew i-.ngunu. ror eany and reuame reporu our coiuinns
mny alwnys be conaultetl, with the asnuruuce of flndlng an
houest nnd lmpurtlal revlcw of ia8i)log events.
THE BOSTOM iOURNAt,
FLDL13UED MOHNISU AND KVKX1NG.
The edltloiis nre CBitcntlally tvro iiewepairn, lmlepcixlent Im
mauy reeitccu cif ciich other. 'Jlier Aro not Bininlv two ctUtioim
of oue luiinr. but are imiTcct ln all thelr featun;, aud complete
!u tht'tr ttlitorlnl and rtrptrtirlal lalwr. jHjesesnlng U great
iulvantapo tu the rruder of sccurlng fuller and tnore detatletl
reporU thau are furniahed bjr any nenvpnpcr in New England,
Tiik lIoTi) Pailt Joi rsil U publUhed Monilng and After-
tioon, uuiiy (bundays excqitetl.) (Jlty tubacnbeni ruriuslied
by rouU; carrk'rn. One cpy by mall one ytar $10.
In order to nrnt the expuctatloui of the thousundi who look
to Tnv Jot'RXAi. for thelr gener&l lufonnatiou ujwn all cubjects
tthlch come wlUdu the wope of Jourualisin, we shall Issuc m
occuslon demanJi
Uonljle Sheet and Slngle Shei-t Supileiuont.
which will enable us to present many oriKlnal fcatures and to
funiUh a newnmtjer which. for the amouut and nuallty of tts
contenta, cannot be etiuuled lu New Kngland.
and ls valuwl for tts idilp newi, commerclal lntclHgence, anl
news at polnts where bunluemi men find that a seinl-weckly
ater toeeu uietr requlreinent. it u puoiunea iueiuiay amit
Krlday momings.
TERMS i
One copy by nutl,. 900
Five coplesto ooeaddress, 1500
Tea coples to one address.. 30.00
And one to the getter up of a club of ten.
The aucceai acbieved br the BugTOii Wuxlt JonuuL ii
bwlng to the generoua appredatlon by the publlc of the efforts
made by the publlihert to, lay before famlllei of New Kngland
an Intereitlng and unexceptionable weekly vlaltor. which ihall
carry to thelr flrntdea all the new of the week and a vatt
amountof entertalnlng and tolld reading. By maUrur up
tluM, a eopy or thu paper can be aecureu lor tne low price 01
TIIRKE CKXTB PKIl WBKK.
The Weekly U NOT a kmttil vrnatti olMoot of The
Dailf Journal, but the matter i aelected wTth care, and the
newt of the week U care fully culled eipedally for IU columni.
XlHmportant wnl meHU r given gratuiltutly to
icribtre to tke Wttttlt Journal. It lf publUhed Thunday
morning, and reachea lu lubacrlbeni many hundred mllea dli
Unt belore Baturaoy nlgbL Reud the tenna and aend for
t peclmen coplea i
One eopy by mall tli.OO
TlreconlMto one addreu T.50
Ten coplea to one addraa, .15.00
And one to fA ftUir-up ofa club often.
ErAll orden muit be acoomnanled by the mooey. All
papen are dUcontlnued at Uw cxplratlon of the time for
wtdch payment haa been raade.
TO ADVKIITISEU8.
The drcul&tlon of Tiia BosTqa Joobkil among lotelllgent
clataea la treble that of any paper of ta daaa publlahed In
Hoaton. It aflbrda to bualneaa men an Inraluable medlumfor
adTertltlng. IU circulation ln Boaton l unequaled, and to
udvertlaera who wlah toreach the people of New Kngland, the
peraonal evidence of all tntTelera la freely glven to tbe fartthat
The Bostox JocnxiL la found ererywhere.
Addreaa,
JOUIINAI. NEWSPAPEIl COMPANY,
BOSTON, MA99.
.was a pity thoy woro yellow roscs."
be seen at the ofiice.