Newspaper Page Text
Jasi'ku, Indiana, Friday, June 24, 1910.
S, Unique Literary Scheme of thi
Grost French Writer.
American reader art a customed
to MirprifO? in their newspapers,
bit imagine their astonishment
K ,n!ii ' favorite journal pub
l li ip g faith, in doily install
iiiciN and adapted according to the
nations of ome stalf writer, o
l.i - - s.- such as, for example
1,4! le's "Inferno!" Yet the iwton-
, t.: t excited would not bf
without a Miullel in the annals o'
new paper management, inasnmel
m llomor once figured as a fondle
tunihte for a Parisian newspaper.
When lv.iinas the elder was edit-in-T
his journal, l.e Mmiiquclairc.
1'rbnin l'a-e-. one of his assistant-,
who wa? an cxi ( pt'onully Hue Greek
scholar. .:i one day enthusiastic
alh epnti.!tinr ufHin tho beauties
of the "Ilii'd" and the "Odyssey."
Dumas grew hi ott interested.
"If only you could read them in
the original," sighed Fages.
"Why not?" asked Duma?
"Put," exclaimed Pages, "my
dear fellow, you don't know alpha
"Will you translate for me?"
asked Dumas eagerly.
Accordingly Fages undertook tho
task. Beginning with tho first
book of the "Iliad," ho would read a
lino of the Greek and then give a
l.tr-ral translation. Dumas quickly
caught tho spirit of the, epic. As
Fa03 read he wrote a translation
and signed It.
"In the nomc of all the ancients,
M. Dumas," exclaimed Page's, "but
vou are signing your name to the
"Certainly," responded Dumas,
"that is, to my version of it. It
will appear ns a feuilieton in Le
Fages was filled with dismay, a3
he afterward related, but before
tin h audacity and naivete he felt
helpless. How was he to convince
a writer accustomed to every tri
umph that he was too bold ? '
And so the next day an install
ment of tho "Iliad," as rendered in
half an hour or so ly a man who
could not read the Greek alphabet,
appeared at the bottom of the pago
of Le Mousquetaire, with the note,
"Continued ih our next."
This enterprising bit of journal
ism raised such a storm of criticism
that Dumas was persuaded lo dis
continue it after the third install
ment, though it was doubted that
he quite understood what was the
trouble. St. Paul Tioncer Press.
Hi Would Get Over.
"If he's as good as he looks," said
Uni Archie, "he'll do."
"Thry him, yer honor, thry him,"
aid Delancy "confidently. "I've a
grand field and plenty o' jumps."
The colt was saddled, and Lord
Archie mounted. He first galloped
around the field, about twenty acres
in extent, and then took him over a
couple of hurdles, a wide turf fenco
and finally a stone wall quite five
feet high." King Brian jumped like
a stag, lie could go a good pace, and
his mouth was perfection.
"How about water?" asked his
"Wathcr, is it?" said Delancy,
with supreme disdain. "Sure, if yo
put him at the river Shannon he
"Do you think he'd clear it?"
"Weil. no. vcr honar." replied
Delancy thoughtfully. "I wouldn't
Co as far as that. But, bedad," ho
added, with nil air of conviction,
"hat ho didn't jump he'd swim!"
Bright as the Fire.
When Crewe Hall was burning tho
lato Lord Crewe, father of the pres
ent earl, displayed a humorous
equanimity which St. James' Bud
get deems worthy of preservation in
When the historic mansion, with
its works of art, rare manuscripts,
armor nnd other treasures, was
blazing away Lord Crewe ordered aj
footman to place n table on tho
lawn and bring him an inkstand nnd
some telegraph forms. Ho then sat
down and composedly wrote this
teletrram to Street. thefRoval acad
"Dear Street Crowe is burning.
Come and build it up again."
To his sister he ecnt another mes
sage by wire:
"Vou always used to say this was
a cold house. You wouldn't say bo
If you could see it now." . .
The Grachmtm' of Joe.
Way down crost l he meadow and cow-lot
Thro'paths made by cattllo an' sheep,
Where, cooled in the shade by the tall ellums made,
The old crick has curled up to sleep;
Down there where the wind sighun' mingles
'1th prattelun' waters at play,
And the coo coo coo of the turtle dove too,
Sweeps in from the dim far away;
Down there by the banks of the Wilier
In the spring where the sweet williams.grow
'Twas at this place' at he all the time used to ba
The home of our little boy Joe.
My oh how long ago.
Nope; none of you couldn't a' knowd him,
Way back there in seventy four,
When Idy an' me concluded 'at we
'Ud edjicate Joe, rich or pore.
I mind how we skimped, scraped an' worried
An' ho our first Christmas was dim,
An' how mother cried when che had to dejide,
We couldn't send not hin' 'to him
An' nobody else dreams the sorrow
'At Idy an me'd undergo.
A livin' that way all alone ever' day,
A yearnun' an lon'un' fer Joe,
High 0' long ago
So Idy an' me went together,
To heor little Joe irradgerate:
Little Joe, did I say? .Viani big anyay:
He spoke on the subject of "Fate"
An, my! but "the effort as splendid"
The tolks said 'at sat b my side
But I never hyurd a sentence 'er word,
An, mother just broke down an' cried
I hadn't the heart fur to ask her
What was the matter, you know;
For I felt she'd' a' said: "Our baby is dead,
I want back my own little Joe:"
Our Joeof long ago.
To follow me down thro' the cow-lot
Thro' paths made by cattle and sheep,
To where in the shade by the tall ellums made
The old crrk is tucked into sleep;
Where sighs of he tired b"eeze whisper
To quiet the waters at play,
An' the dreamy coo coo of the tui tie dove true
Frightens care-phantoms away;
Fer I like to set hyurr a thinkun'
An, astin' the waters at play
What's come o' the dear little boy 'at played here
In the days o' the long ago?
Our Joe: High bo!.
The American Circus.
An Appeal to the Filipinos.
You Filipinos don't know what you are missing by
not wanting to become citizens of this grand country of
ours. There isn't anything like it under the sun. 1 ou
ought to send a delegation over to see us -the land of
the free-land of fine churches and 180,000 licensed sa
loons; bibles, forts and guns, houses of prostitution; mil
lionaires and paupers; theologians and thieves; libertines
and liars; politicians and poverty; Christians and chain
gangs; schools and scalawags; trusts and tramps; money
and misery; homes and hunger; virtue and vice; a land
where you can get a good bible for fifteen cents and a
bad drink of whiskey for five cents; where we have a
man in congress with three wives and a lot in the peni
tentiary for having two wives; where some men make
sausage out of their wives, and some want to eat them
raw; where we make bologna out of dogs, canned beef
out of horses and sick cows, and corpses out of the
people who eat it; where we put a man in jail lor not
having the means of support and on the rock pile for ask
ing for a job of work; where we license bawdy houses
?nd fine men for preaching Christ on the street corners;
where we have a congress of 400 men who make laws,
and a supreme court of nine men who set them aside;
where good whiskey makes bad men and bad men make
good whiskev; where newspapers are paid for suppress
ing the trutli and made rich for teaching a he; where
professors draw their convictions from the same places
they do their salaries; where preachers are piud$2o,OU0
a year to dodge the devil and tickle the ears of
the wealthy; where business consists of getting hold of
property in any way that won't land you m the peniten
tiary; where trusts "hold up" and poverty "holds down ;
where men vote for what they do not want for fear they
will get what they do want by voting for it. Where
"niggers" can vote and women can't; where a girl who
goes wrong is made an outcast and her male partner
flourishes as a gentleman; where women wear false hair
and men "dock' their horses' tails; where the political
wire-puller has displaced the patriotic statesman; where
men vote for a thing one day and cuss it 364 days ; where
we have prayers on the floor of our National Capitol
and whiskey in the cellar; where we spend $500 to bury
a statesman who is rich and $10 to put away a working
man who is poor; whereto be virtuous is to be lonesome
and to be honest is to be a crank; where we sit on the
safety-vale of energy and pull wides open the thrpule
of conscience: where gold is substance-thc one thing
sought for: where we pay $15,000 for a dog and fifteen
cents a doz- n to a poor woman for making shirts: where
we teach the "untutored" Indian eternal life from the
bible and kill him off with bad whiskey: where we put
a man in jail for stealing a loaf of bread and in congress
for stealing a railroad: where the check-book talks, sin
walks abroad in day-light' justice is asleep, crime runs
amuck, corruption permeates our whole social and po
litical fabric, and the devil laughs from every street cor-
Come to us, Fillies! We
gregation of good things, and bad things, hot things
and cold things, all sizes, varieties and colors, ever ex
hibited under one tent.
The Above is Published by request of a prominent Ja.iper Socialist
E. A. Summers
You cannot look about you on the street without see
ing people who have money in their pockets which ought
to l)e in your cash drawer, or to your credit in bank.
You cannot look about you in your store or shop with
out seeing goods that these same people should own
should now be using.
These facts hold good-even if you have been doing
a good business lately, They are the sort of facts wrich
make store-keeping the most interesting in the world
the most tantalizing one too.
You can't go out on the streets personally and take
these people by the hands and lead them into your store
But you can go to them vicariously.
You can make your newspaper advertising your proxy.
You can make it say to them all that is in your mind
all that yo.u could possible say if you had their undivi
ded attention for an hour. And you can make what
you say to them so interesting-so fraught, with purse
importance to them-that they will read eagerly.
Your advertising does this, to some great or small ex
tent, of course. It falls short of its fullest appeal if it
is not as full of enthusiasm as you are. It is only half
good enough if it is only half big enough or it appears
only half often enough. And, in advertising as in the
matter of a coat oradinner-if it is only half oig enough
or half frequent enough, it leaves a good deal to desired.
The JASPER COURIER would like to co-operate
with you to the fullest extent in realizing the possibili
ties of store-keeping, if only you take advantage of it
as a means of interesting "its readers" in your store.
Tho Mail Order Sonjr.
Rnirl Hit? trrocervman to the
BuTcherman, 4 'Really it is u sin
that vou buy your salt on the
wholesale plan and I never see
the tin." Then hied him back to
the grocery store and quickly an
older sent, for a few choice hams
for familv use and a box of fish
for lent- Said the clothing man
tn tho hadware man: You cer-
tninlv don't do rieht, when you
get a suit of an eastern house
with my big stock in sight.
But the clothier wanted a new
steel nnge and it came as tin
npifrhhnrs knew, in a box that lu
tried to hide in a box marked
Gee Hawbuck Co., The business
men tlv n called a meeting to see
where the trouble lay, and they
all agreed it was the editor man
and not the devil to pay. Why
don't he roast ia. mail ordei
sfni'Ps.' these irrouchv knocken
'nid "nnd stand bv them whe
patronize him and give him his
daily bread I So they drew up a
contract long and strong for tin
'editor to peruse, and waited ot.
: him with aspect grim, as he sol
'emnlv dug for tlie news. Bui
'the editor laughed a big horse
laugh till the gang all too to tin
woods lor 'twas written on axk
grease letter heads that came
with a bill of goods
Tho Black Sheep.
"What," asked tho man who hat.
returned to his vative town aftc
an absence of many years, "became
of Ed Ferguson ?"
,rEd? bh, he's doin' fine. , Goi
the best livery stable anywhere
around here and runs the depo1
"Let's see! He had n younge
brother, hadn't he?"
"Yes Lorn. ITc never amount e-
to much. Wrote poetry nnd pnintc
pictures. I guess the family kirn
of disowned him. At least he weir
nwav several vears aeo, and 1 dunn-
what ever became of him." Chic'
His One Chane.
Mother (coming vif tlv) Yh
Willie! .StrSktoff jnr little sinter!
Willie (doggedly) Aunt Frort
fare mndo me.
Aunt Frost furo Why, Willie.
?aid if you did strike her I w.-,a!
never kis vou again.
Willie (still dogged) Well,
couldn't let a chance like that slip
rirst Diner Out I Bhuy, ol chap,
d'you know Wilshon?
Second Diner Out-No. Whntsh lsb
First Diner Out- I dunno. Tatler.
ve got the greatest ag
A Circus Horse In Battle.
Colonel Charles Marshall, who
w.ir uid-do-camd to General Robert
E. Hie and who went through tho
battles of tho war with his chief
told the following amusing story of.
his experience with a new horse:
Iiis old horse ha'd beenißhot from
under him in the figlit of the pre
vious day, and he Had taken posses
eion of an animal that seemed to
suit the work. 'In the battle ü few
hours later he was ridinfc across a
field in which there were numerous
Suddenly the perlormance open
ed. Tho iruns roared, and the air
was filled with Binoke aad noise.
Before Colonel" Marshall knew
what was happening th horse had
his four feet on ono of the stumps
ond was gnyly dancing in a circle.
In the meantime tho firing wn9 in
creasing, nnd the sitnation was any-
Aiing but comfortable. But tho
horse kept on as if he' were enjoy
"It was not until afterward," said
Colonel Marshall, "that I found the
horse had belonccd to a circus and
had been trained to do this pet
amid the firing of cannon."
At the Flood.
Hearing of a rising river at tha
headwaters of the Euphrates, with
a falling barometer and indications
of a flood in the valley, the. Pithe
canthropus changed his mind and
frankly admitted it to Noah. His
manner was that of a chastened and
"You monkeyed too long," said
the patriarch. "Tfo gave you a
chance to i-omc in withns, and you
wouldn't take it. Now we have ar
ranged for all the stock we caro
about trying lo float.v
The general liquidation which fol
lowed had the usual effect upon all
mt the insiders. Puek.
nr I'mfrrrnnlrc noomlcr ntiil !!
Unless tilts alnrm clock falls me,
rc's whero I got the best of "th
arly bird und tins worm" propodtl!
-New York Sun. ,
The Earth's Surface.
The surface of tlw carth can bo
compared to the top of a barrel of
asphult, hard and rigid through nnd
through, Beamed and cracked on tho
Burfe.ce by tho e emonts. For ten
miles iw "a struight line below the
surface the en-rth is probably dry
and. hard, of a rock substance. Tho
prcssure'af this substance upon tho
heated center r the earth keeps it
from getting hot i er than it is, just
ns you ran keep unter from boiling
by an appropriately uflicient pres
sure. The f t ihit Hiere is steam
in volcanic eruptions is the leakage
of the interior piessure of beat in
the earlh. The character of matter
in $e center of the eurlh or its im
mediate environment must be some
thing like pumico stone spongy,
porous, light because when tho
earth's inferibr matter is melted in
tho high temperatures that are
there it dissolves, and there is con
siderable wjitcr in it that escapes
through volcanic craters in steam.
Prpfcssor llallock, Columbia Uni
here is a certain Wilmington
business man, of a rather waggish
disposition, who contends that his
wifo bas no imagination. At dinner
ono mght he chained to mention
a twgic eireumttu"-o he had re-ad
in the evening puper 'n his way
home. A passenpor n a transatlan
tic steamer bad fallen overboard m
midocean, and he had never been
scon a"tthu "Was -ha drowned?"
asked' RH wife. "Of course not,"
answered the irrepressible hubby,
"bin) ho sprained lib ankle, I bc-
Just Her Habit.
A wfdower was being married for
the fourth time recently. Buriog
the cerwnony one of tho guesta is
surprised te bear violent sobi .pro
eeiingtfrom a woman in a conioe
of the church. 1
I "WIjo is that lady who is crying,
po bitterly?" ho- asks of the by
standers. "ÖI, it's only Martha, our cook,"
answers ono of the bridegroom'
children. "She always blubber
when papa gets married!" London
Ought to Be Thankful.
"Doctor," growled the patient,
"it, seems to me that $500 is a big
charge for that operation of mine.
It didn't take jou over Laif a min
ute" "My dear sir," replied the fameus
specialist, "in learning to perform
that Operation in Half a minute I
have spoiled over eleven pecks of
such eyes as yours." Success Mag
azine. 1 He Knew.
They were country people pure
and simple, but they had read tho
papers and thought they were edu
cated up to nil the improvements of
a city;. When they went to Wash
ington they went through the navy
.department and saw the models of
our sh'p? of war. Pointing to a
companion ladder bunging over tho
side of one of the boat, she asked
her bettor half what it was.
i "Oh, that's the fire escape," re
plied the husband. Lippincott's.
I i He Got the Girl.
I He had gone to ask her father for
her hand in marriage.
I "Well, sir, what is it?" snapped
out the old man. "Ilcmember, 1 am
a man of few words."
"1 don't care if you are a man of
pny one word if it's the right one,"
replied the suitor,
j He got the g-ffL.
I Pr off union nl Innlicht
Dr. Sklnn-Wlll the patient stand as
Dr. FllnW think not from the looks
tt this X ray picture. Harper!
Weekly. , . .
imik'itfty ,.ii mi