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A AD THING TO NEGLECT. Don't neglect the kidneys when yoa eotice lack of control over the secre tions. Passages become too frequent er scanty; urine is discolored and sedi ment appears. No medicine for such troubles like Doan's Kidney Pills. They quickly remove kid acy disorders. Mrs. A. E. Fulton, 311 Skidmore SL. Portland, Ore., says: My limbs swelled terribly and I was bloated over the stomach and had puffy spots beneath the eyes. My kidneys were very unhealthy and the socre tions much disordered. The dropsical swellings began to abate after I began using Doan's Kidney Pills and soon I was cured." Remomber the name Doan's. For sale by all dealers. SO cents a box. Foster-MIlburn Co.. Buffalo, N. Y. Vhats the Answer? ttc re redy to quit: After sending two r rrK tiy rhymed, carefully scan- ned j , a.-urably sentimental pieces of roe . .r.k to seventeen magazines and haung them returned seventeen times we turn to the current issue of a ae monthly and Had & "pome" modeled after Kiplins's "Vampire." and In which home is supposed to rhyn" virh aioae. mn on page eleven v 1th all the swell Arlycues ordinarily surrrjndlng a piece of real art If poetizing is a gift we are convinced that this poet's must have been. As for us., we are on our way to the wood shed to study the psychology of the ax or any other old thing that hasn't to do with sellins poetry to maga zines. A BURNING ERUPTION HEAD TO FEET FROM "Four years ago I suffered severely with a terrible ecsema, being a mass of sores from bead to feet and for six weeks confined to my bed. During that time I suffered continual torture from itching and burning. After being giren up by my doctor I was advised to try Cuticura Remedies. After tbe first bath with Cuticura Soap and ap plication of Cuticura Ointment I en joyed the first good sleep during my entire Illness. I also used Cuticura Reso'v. r.' and the treat n. nt was con tint' J f, r about tLr. wevxs. At tbe end f hat time I was able to bo abo t the heute, entirely cured, and hav fe'.t no ill ef?- is since. I would adr.se ary person f ;ffe ring from any form f skin trouble to try the Cuti cura IN RH-dles, as I know what they did f.-.r me. Sirs. Edward Nennlag, 1112 Saiina St, Watertowa, X. Y., Apr 11, 1909." Well, Vrtsn't He Right? 1 Tho minister was addressing the j Sunday school. "Children. I want to j talk to you for a few moments about ; one of the most wonderful, oae of the j most important organs in the whole i world." he said. "What Is that that ! throbs away, beats away, never stop- ping, nevev ceasing, whether you i wake or sleep, night or day. week In j and week out, month ic and month j oui, year m ana year out, wunout any volition on your part, hidden away in in i by j the depths, as It were, unseen you, throbbing, throbbing- rhythmically i all your life long?" During this pause for oratorical effect a small voice was heard: "I know. It's the gas meter." Tactful. A woman with a pronounced squint went to a fashionable photographer. He looked at her and she looked at him and both were embarrassed. He spoke first "Won't you permit me," he said, "to take your portrait In profile? There ls a certain shyness about one of your eyes which is as difficult in art as It is fascinating In nature." Beacon. Artistic Temperament. "Hamlet seemed to speak with au thority in his advice to the players. "Yes," replied Mr. Stormlngton Harnes, "although he was rather quiet and patient. Out in his other scenes he was as nervous and Irascible as a regular stage manager." Tho morning after Is responsible for many good resolutions. To greet misfortune with a smile i ls decidedly a one-sided flirtation. I '- . , . j . . . 1 Delightful Desserts and many other pleasing diihes can be wade with Post Toasties A crisp, wholesome food alwaysrcady to serve. "With fruits or berries it is delicious. "The Memory Lingers" A Utile book "Good Thing Mads with Toasties" in packages, tells bow. Sold by Grocers pkp. 10c ad 15c, roSTUM CEREAL CO.. LTD. Battle CreeV, Mich. 'Fire Drill in the FIRE." The word was pn?ed around among amateur firefighters of the gor ramest prtatlnjc office one afternoon recently. The lire brigade is said to j consist of about a doz-n laborers, , RMnr there was no fire about the ! big printing offiw. save In the engine room furnaces aad under tbe smelting i nots. i Some one high la authority at the j printer)- had read a rt-aspaper ac- count of a disastrous conflagration lu ! the west. The story of tbe blase put ; the notion in his bead to resurrect a j "general order" of several years' standing which provides for a fire drill I at intervals. ! It was near to tbe hour for closing j down "the works." 4 : 30 o'clock, when the edict went forth that the nre bri j gmde was to assemble quickly and j from the new building attack an lm j aginary conflagration In the old struc I ture across the alley, which separates the new from the old. "Con" Men Find Virginian Easy Mark KEi? IT "VV2HT A STORY told at police headquarter by Clarence Davis of Glenalieu. ; Vs., recalled to older members of the ; force the day when confidence men I ha I full sway here. The Virginian j I.. J aft 1 i 1 nuiii-u mm itsrte mea naa lnvrigiea him Into matching twenty-ßve-cent ! pieces in a room at me Kaleign hotel. : and that tbey bad dlsapt eared, one of them taking $4SS belonging to bim. When Davis reached the city and he registered at a hotel near John Marshall place and Pennsylvania ave noe, he was seated on the coping at the northwest corner of Pennsylvania avenue and 7th street when a strang er spoke to him. He did not hesitate to tell the stranger he was from near Richmond, aad the latter said he was acquainted with people a Richmond. Tbe Virginian informed tbe strang er that be wae thinking of going to ! New York, and that be was a hr!t. ltrer by trad $, n i M bricklayer." the stranger S(l,d ad Vm work Army of Bees Sting 1 TEAM of horses, stung by a couple j V of bees, plunged madly Into twer- ty hives, upsetting them, releasing an nrmy of 80.000 angry bees, which ttung the horses to death, a few days ago, over on the Virginia side of the Potomac river. The negro driver, who ran at the first alarm, did not escape unwounded. Thousands of bees pursued his flight, and he was terribly stung, but lives. A dozen or more Irresponsible bees were flying about the grounds at the home of Dr. Reginald Munson. on the Columbia pike, near Arlington, whore he has forty hives. The horses, at tached to a coal wagon, worried by thdr humming, slapped at the beos wlth tl,0,r ta,ls- Tne bees retaliated, stinging the horses. The borst'S. wild with alarm at the . unusual attack, plunged madly about j the yard, upsetting twenty hives and j releasing some tea bushels of bees Fervid Vocabulary THE ton., policeman who stnnd3 1 ! 1 guard by the District building In Washington was making his rounds placidly when there dawned upon bis horrified mind the fact that a hor.se was standing with hla fore feet upon tho District building's own sidewalk. The horse was bitched to a two seated surrey. Upon a seat of the surrey sat a gentleman with a broad black hat. "Get that horso off the sidewalk," said the policeman. "If yeu want this horse to get off that sidewalk you put him off your self, you" The remainder of the sentence was more In the way of ex pletive than explanation. "You better shut up and get that horse where it belongs," the police man pursued cheat cm. T? IIa. Jäswsyr Big Printing Shop Upon the receipt of the order from the front office the amateur firemen got busy without delay. Tbero was a dragging forth of hose and other ap paratus for fighting "the red demon." A tall man. who seemed to be in su preme command of the firemen, gavo th orders in cool, confident tones. Innumerable hose lines wore con nected with fire plugs in tho new building. Nozzle were aimed at tbe v i.erxbie structure across Jackson al ky. As the streams of wai$r began to play and the spray was rising in clouds, like the mist from Niagara Falls, the printers, bookbinders. woj man folders nod other workers began , to HI out of the outlüings. There is an order that tbe exit of the workmen en 1 workwomen must be through the side doors along the al ley and G street. Consequently, as the htad of the line of workers reach ed the doors on the alley and wit nessed the deluge of water crashing against the walls of the old budding and flying back In foaming masses, they tried to force thier way back in to the new structure. Hundreds of toilers behind, not aware or tbe conditions In front, pressed forward and forced the front rank out into the alloy and Into tbo torrents of flying wnter. The ensued a scene of excitement. "Come to New York with me." Da vis told him. "and I will see that you f:?t a Job." Soon a second man, a red-haired In dividual, who said be was an English man, appeared and was introduced. A drink was suggested. The men had one in a saloon cn Pennsylvania ave nue. Davis said be would go bnrk to Richmond and draw his mone from bank in order that be might hav funds enn-igh to ? o him 'hroug': hii trip to New York Armpanifd by gniith the j,jClf j)avis man w!o first acot"d wnt tt Richmond, de' hia monpv nn ! rrt ;;rml th.. nri: inv r-hR-r man : nd a friend met tfcem ,nd tfce quar.P. went t, th ho tl nhere the all e .A swin.ll.rs hail tak n a room. A game of matching quarters was indulged in and Davis Inrt hat silver change be had. It was then ner ssary for him to get out his rcll cf li-Ii. It was tbe first time Lawrence and Hop kins, as tbe two con" men wen known, bad seen the roll. At th sug gestion of one of the men. Ifcvfs handed bis roll to Hopkins to hold. Lawrenaa then paid he wanted to pet a cheek cashed, and it wss while he was pretending be was looking for a man to cash It that those in tho party became separated. Horses to Death about $0.000 in all. Thse bees ImmeJIately attacked the horses, stinging them so badly that both animals died within an hour. Dr. Munson has long been an en thusiastic apiarist His hives are lo cated In the yard at one side of his house. The coal wagon, driven by George Low, drew up in front of the place about 3 o'clock In the afternoon. Low ! was a little dubious about venturing inside. He could plainly hear an oc casional buzzing that was not alto gether music to his ears. A black swarm of buzzing bees Im mediately flew toward the horsos and Low. The latter went scampering down the road with his hands up to his face, brushing away a thousand or more of the insects which had gath ered about him. The frightened horses wore almost instantly cohered with tho Insects. They started to turn toward the road, but sank limply In the traces, whin neylng wildly with pain. The entire neighborhood wa3 In stantly aroused. A crowd collected at a safe distance to' watch the un usual event. No one dared at first to go to the re&cuo of tho horses. Causs of Arrest And then there followed a contro versy. It was heated, to use a well worn but perfectly good phrase, and In tbe end tho policeman bopped lata tho buggy and took tho broad hattod gentleman around to noli et tin j No. 1. whero it became evident that the prisoner was a southerner and r.ff .irj chared with i.roffe.,it and lots of It, varied, variegated, lurid, personal and original. The southern gentleman kept It go ing to some extent even while he was bolng examined at No. 1. but he did quit In time to let them know that he was not tho owner of the horso. About this time a hatless, breath less real estate agent rushed out ol the District building. "Somebody's run off with my horse and buggy! Whore did they go?" he shouted. Meantime No. 1 had managed to cool the southern gentleman to a state whore he would disgorge $5 as col lateral, the price of his profanity. And all this tlmo no one had found out that the southern gentioman was not the owner of the hcrae it alL OUZ' fljffi CALLS Mexico's President Has Had Many Thrilling Escapes. Near Death on Battlefield Many Times Swims Through Shark Infested Water to Safety on American Steamer. j Mexico City. -Tho career of Sir porflrlo Diaz, who has just been re- electod president of Mexico, forms n veritable romance of ndventuro and thrilling escapes from death. Perhnps his narrowest oscapo from hia enemies, howevor. was In 1S75. after ho had lod n futilo Insurrection against the government At that tlmo Diaz was running for tho presidency against Juarez. The people wanted Dins, the politicians Juarez, and Diaz finally took the field with his sup porters, dot or mined to fight it out. Ho was defeated, driven from Mexico. aad t00j. rofn'g0 jn jfow Orleans. He ritcm communicated with his friends. i arm decldod j u,0 fWjt. to return and continue With this ond In view he took pass age secretly on tho City of Hnvnna under tho name of "Dr. de la Dom." Unfortunately, whon the vessel j reached Tamplco a large body of j troops were takon on board. As It happened, the very man who had re- : cently defeated Diaz and his men was among them. It is assumed that Diaz thought ho was about to bo captured. At all events, he slipped off his clothes, rushed from his stateroom 1 and plunged overboard beginning a imr In the distancp. A hnnt wns low- ered, and tho unfortunate goneral was rescued and brought back to the j steamer. j He was a striking figure, and as ho Btcpped on the gangway some of the President Diaz. men thought they recognized Diaz and shouted his name. But luckily a woman who was a friend of the gen eral's saw the situation and, seizing a sheet from the stateroom, rushed down the gangway and threw the sheet over his head, so that he passed through the crowd and so reached his stateroom Capture seemed almost certain. Tho soldiers who had seen Diaz come aboard had reported to the colonel, who prompted looked Into the matter and found that the supposed Diaz had come aboard as "Dr. de la Boza." Ho at once went to the captain and de manded the surrender of Diaz. Th colonel could not speak English, and the captain, could not speak Spanish, so Mr. Coney, the purser, was sent for. Now, Mr. Coney, who, for the Im portant part he played In this exciting episode, was afterward rewarded by the grateful Diaz with the post of con- , sul general of Mexico at San Fran- Cisco, had seen Diaz in the stateroom, and, in response to a Masonic signal ' of distress which Diaz made, had do. ' elded to aid the fugitive to his utmost 1 Coney himself being a Mason. 1 Therefore, when, having translated the colonel's demand to tho captain, : the latter said he could not deliver up the supposed Diaz, but If tho ! colonel liked ho could place entries ' at the door so that Diaz could not os-1 capo. Then as the sentry went reeling to loeward. Coney suddenly opened the door of tho stateroom, and Diaz walked swiftly forward and safely leached Coney's storeroom. Horo he was at once put In clothes press. Each night Coney took Diaz out of bis wardrobe in order that ho might exorcise his cramped limbs, putting him In his own bed and locking him up In the wardrobe raln oarly In the morning. Thus did Diaz elude the suspicious colonel and he was still In the clothes press when tho vessel roachod Vera Cruz. Hore Coney com municated with General Enrlquoz, and Diaz, with his face besmeared with coal dust and disguised as a laborer, was smuggled ashore. Diaz was obliged to skulk through tho foresta from Vera Cruz until he had rallied his forces, which he did with such success that the next bat tle placed him In the Mexican "while house." CLIMAX FOR GREAT TENOR Caruae Approaches Finale In "Marital" Entanglements Through Divorce Suit Against Woman. Florence. -Enrico ' Caruso la ap proaching a climax In his "marital" en tanglements. It will bo remembered that during bis first two seasons In New York at the Metropolitan Opera he was accompanied by a woman whom every one considered to be his legal wife. This woman was really Mine. Glnc Hetti, the wifo of a Florentino mer- chant, who under tho natuo of Mltn! ! Giachettl had achieved n certain suc cess on the operatic stage, aud who Mme. Caruso. j ls a slster of tho better.Unown ,yrlc soprano of the samo name. A year or Glachetti-Doit-Cnruso I ... was reported to have eloped with her chauffeur. Now the Florentine merchant. BettI, ! is suing her for divorce and names Caruso. Mine. Caruso, as she is still genorally known, has written a letter to the press In which she states that she endeavored to seek a divorce from Hettl ten years ago. but he re 1 fused his consent. It wns thon that she went to live with the tenor, since that timo she doclares she has lived with Caruso as his wife, and has had two children by him. She often saw Bettl, who never seemed to resent tho fact of her alli ance nor care one way or tho other. She denies having eloped with the chauffeur and says Caruso left her penniless at Mont Charles on the vary s-ot where they first met and whero he persuaded her to forsake her ar tistic career for his love. Mme. Bettl deplores her unhappy married lifo with both men. whom she accuses of having failed to contribute to her support, although sho admits that Caruso gives her $100 a month a mere pittance, she says, considering that he draws tho highest salary of any tenor on earth. The famous trial will bo held In i Florence within tho next few weeks, ind tho star witness will be Caruso. NO SHAVE SINCE CIVIL WAR Michigan Man Has His Whiskers That Reach to the Floor Photographed. e Oxford. Mich. Alex Guiles of Or tonville, whose hirsute appendage be gins at his chin and trails on tho ground, was In town recently to have his bid for fame recorded by a local photographer. Although Guiles keeps his elongated beard done up In as neat a manner as the coiffure of a so ciety lady until nothing unusual would be noticed at a casual glance, his ad- Alex Guiles. vent here to have his whiskers "took" by a photographer created no little excitement. Guiles Is the proprietor and opera tor of a saw mill at Ortonvlllc, nnd 'tis said ho locks steps with that trail ing streamers of whispers ns he winds his devious wny in and about the swiftly humming machinery, indif ferent to the wind that whistles mer rily among this luxuriant growth of human foliage. He has not hnd a shavo since war times and does not expect one, striving earnestly to pro tect what ho claims Is tho blue rib bon winner for length, In whiskers,. Ho prides himself on having the longest whiskers In Michigan. And the residents of Ortonville, who havo seen that winding trail of wispy, stringy whiskers floating about the eiw mill over bumming saws and buz "ting et screws, give Guiles credit for as mach courage as ho has hair. - - - A PACU8E MAILED FREE OX REQUEST OF MUNYONS PAW-PAW PILLS The beat Stomach and Liver I'llis known and a posltivo and speedy cure for Con stipation. Indigestion Jaundice. Uiltousnpss, Sour Stomach, Head-" ache, and all aliments arising from a disor dered stomach or slug gish liver. They con tain In form all tho virtues and values of Mun yon's Paw-Paw Tonic and are maj from tho Juice of tho Paw-Paw fruit. I unhesitatingly recommend theso pu:, as being the best laxative nnd cathart.'a ever compounded. Send us a postal or letter requesting a free package of Munyon's Celebrated Paw-Paw 1ax tive Pills, nnd wo will mail same fr.. of charge. MPNYON'S HOMor-. PATIIIC HOME REMEDY rn . 5:j and Jefferson Sts., Philadelphia. Pa. SEA SHELLS??:; Tamijr. l.y malt, fur 25 cent, (ieuui. . C ra -' Cklftci-whHprliiKcliiip,by rr.i ma l. one fur At ctB. or thrre for II uj Sarf I'm one 10 cent or three for 5: - I' ,r.. . i M . , r- 1 '-" - "nur im, wo SIMM on a 1 puis 10 routs, one dozen, 45 cent. X caajrr -neu ror Imltun Arrow Hrota an an Utile. Catalogue of hlauwy bca . agents ana dealers. J. I. lOW.i.X Waukt'gan, 111. I S. 4. DAISY FLY UiU All S u.a. I M wife . i , A II l . I ' Ufa I4.,.,n I UwUtWiki... HE ENJOYED IT. Mrs. Talkalot It's a wonder jou wouldn't be careful about your ova language. You make It a business to pick me up on littlo blunders. Mr. Talkalot No, my dear. I make a rocreatlon of It. Looked Lle a Pattern. "My dear." asks the thoughtful hus band, "did you notice a large shet of paper with a lot of diagrams on :t about my desk?" "You mean that big piece with dots and curves nnd diagonals and things all over It?" "Yes. It was my map of the path of Halley's comet I wanted to " "My goodness! I thought it was that pattern I asked you to get, and tho dresmaker ls cutting out my new shirtwaist by It!" Chicago Evening Post At the Summer Resort. "1 think Fve seen you beforo some whoro." "Yes, I think so. Let's see, you and I were engaged to bo married four seasons ago, weren't we?" Real Reform Knicker What is your Idea of mu alclpal government? Docker First provide an auto and then create an offico to fill It Kind words aro often wasted whero a swift kick would havo been more ef fective. Compound Interest comes to life when the body feels tho delicious plow of health, vigor and energy. That Certain Sense of vigor in the brain and easy poise of the nerves comes when the improper foods are cut out and predigested GrapeNuts take their place. If it has taken you years to run down don't expect one mouthful of this great food to bring you back (for Jt is not a stimulant but a rebuilder.) Ten days trial shows such big results that one sticks to it. "There's a Reason IF Get the little book, "The Road to Wellville," in pkßs. roarruM cerk At co., ltd IUUle Creak, Mica. rt r- m