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THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH, SUNDAY, JANUARY 13, 1889.
B$pltfj, ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1S1CL Vol. 43, Ac 311. Entered at Pittsburg Post- office, A'ovembcr H, 18S7, as itoond-ciass matter. Business Office 07 and99 Fifth Avenue. News Booms and Publishing' House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. This paper Laving more thnn Double iho circulation of any other In the Stato outside cl Philadelphia, its advantages as an adver tising medium will be apparent. TERMS OP THE DISPATCH. rOETACE FREE IX THE CMILU STATES. PAILT Disr-ATCR, One Year. f 800 DAILT Dispatch, Per Quarter -W Uailt Dispatch, OncMonth Daily Dispatch, Including bandar, 0n8 year 1000 Daily DisrATCii, Including bunday, per quarter 50 Daily Dispatch, including banday. one month. P0 J5DXDAT DlSPATCn, one year. - 150 Weekly Dispatch, one year J 23 The Daily Dispatch U delivered by carriers at 15 ccnU per week, or Including tueSunday edition. at 2) cents per week. Voluntary contributors should keep copies of articles. If compensation is desired the price expected mutt be named. The courtesy of re turning rejected manuscripts uill be extended when stamps for that purpose are enclosed, but the Editor of The Dispatch trill under no circumstances be responsible for the care of un solicited manuscripts. PITTSBURG, SUNDAY. JAN'. 13, 1SS9. FEMINUTE I0GIC. Bessie Bramble writes from South Caro lina to declare that if the South suppressed the negro vote the North is just as bad, be cause it suppresses the rote of women. She then proceeds to show that in the Southern State where she is sojourning women are not given the legal rights that they haTe in the Northern States; which also makes a rather wonderful display of that mysterious move ment known as feminine logic. The argument that because the law which restricts the right of suffrage to one sex is obeyed in one part of the land, and that which gives it to a certain race is overridden in another, therefore, the two sections are equally wrong, is sufficiently unique. It is surpassed, however, by the surprising logic which attacks the North alone for repressing women, and then goes on to declare that the South represses the women more than the North does, and somewhat more than it does with the negroes. This almost leads us to the conclusion that, in onr correspondent's view, the South atones for its injustice to women, in their legal rights, by putting them in the same sategory with the colored people. ME. BBENKEN'S DENUNCIATION. Mr. "William Brennen, Chairman of the Democratic county organization, unpacked his heart at the meeting of that body yes terday, to the extent of a speech, abounding with assertions that there were "never such shameless, damnable and diabolical means resorted to" as in the late election; that Senator Quay was chosen to conduct the campaign for the Republican! as "a man who can out-general, out-trick and out-steal all opposition," and finally, that the Demo cratic party "cannot be charged with perpe trating or tolerating such a shameless out rage." The Dispatch lias expressed its wish that every man who has had anything to do with the corruption of politics should be exposed and puuUked; but the policy of a general cry of "stop thiei" at the other party is not likely to amount to much. Such assertions as Mr. Brenncn's are likely to provoke the retort that Senator Barnum's "innlc transactions" are as damnatory as Dudley's "blocks of five;" while no politi cal corruption has ever been more clearly demonstrated than the cipher dispatch agreement to pay a big sum of money for an electoral vote "if done only once," there is great need for the purification of politics; but it is not to be accomplished by claiming that the rascals are all in one party. NEW LINNEE ETIQUETTE. One of the bloods of New York recently vindicated his claim to that title by thrash ing a hotel waiter. The offense of the Ganymede consisted of bringing in the card of a caller while the high-toned real estate broker for that we believe is the profession of the aristocratic person was enjoying his dinner. Such an infraction of the rites of dining could not go unpunished, and the offending waiter accordingly got his head punched. The mysteries of dinner etiquette in New York have recently grown so complex as to puzzle all but the members of McAllister's Four Hundred and their most devoted neophytes, among whom the pugnacious real estate broker is probably classed. The large collection of forks from which the diner must select the appropriate tool to use on each course, the exact brand of wine which he must drink at each critical junctnre, together with the occult rites of the cards before and after such ceremonies, have constituted the arcana oi New York culture. To these mysteries a new rule seems to be added. "Whether it is that if a card is sent up during dinner, that meal must be varied by thrashing the waiter, or that no cards must be sent up at all, is still an open question; but as soon as the waiters fully comprehend this new frill on etiquette, it will be likely to amount to the same thing. It is necessary to suggest that there is a certain inequity in the working of the rules. If anybody is to be thrashed let him be the person who sends up the card. That would preserve the usefulness of the waiter and give the'diner more enlivenment for the rest of the repast. The maintenance of the rule by walloping the humble manipulator of the napkin ought to simplify dinner eti quette a good deal by subjecting the walloper to the more easily understood but equally unyielding rules of the workhouse dinners. NOT PE0DUCED BY THE LAW. It is remarked by the Philadelphia Times that "the formation of the Inter-State Kail way Association bears out the opinion re cently expressed by Charles Francis Adams, that the effect of the Inter-State Commerce act was to promote the combination of trunk lines at the expense of the shortlocal lines." It would be interesting for the Times and Mr. Adams to explain how this deduction is possible in the face of the confession of Mr. Adams and the practical admission of the New York meeting that the Inter-State Commerce law has not been obeyed. Ex actly how an unenforced act can force the combination of trunk lines, is rather ob scure, though not more so than a good many other feats of railway logic such, for in stance, as that which induced the esteemed Times to declare a year ago, that the law prevented the railways from issuing com mutation tickets, or giving lower rates in proportion to distance, on long hauls than short ones. The fact is that the railway agreement only shows the determination ot the railway interests to escape competition. As far as its practical results are concerned, it need not be feared by the people. But its spirit fe is shown by the agreement that new lines, no matter how legitimate or solvent, are to be placed under the boycott of capital as represented by Messrs. Brown Bros., Kid der, Peabody & Co. and J. S. Morgan & Co. The idea that all the other enterprises and industries of the country must be held subor dinate to the grand purpose of forcing divi dends on inflated railway capitalization was not produced by the inter-State commerce law. It existed before that measure, and was one of the causes leading to its enact ment. It remains to be seen whether the law or the railway combination will prove most powerful. CHEAP GOLD. An enterprising Parisian who announces himself to be the "Alchemist of the Nine teenth Century" has made a discovery or says that he has which entitles him to take rank as a combination of Mege, the inventorof oleomargarine; Mulberry Sellers, Prof. Keeley and the electric sugar refiner. M. Tiffereau, who is the alleged discoverer, stated in an address the other day, that he could manufacture gold. He is more frank than Keeley in telling how it is done. All that you have to do is to combine silver and copper in the right proportions under the action of the sunlight and nitric acid. In this way he can convert $30 worth of mate rial into $720 worth of pure gold, and he hopes, with practice, to reduce the cost of the metal to $15. This sounds very attractive; and its natu ral outcome would be the formation of an International Gold Manufacturing Com pany (unlimited), par value of shares $100, ten cents paid in, and the rest to be made out of the confiding public But a mo ment's reflection will reveal the fact that if gold can be made at that cost, the inevitable result will be to reduce the value of gold to exactly the same figure. Probably the rapidity of the fall in the prices of gold might be stayed somewhat if M. Tiffereau and his supporters should get up a trust and maintain rates for gold. Bnt that might be opposed by a movement to preserve the distinction between real gold and the manufactured jnst article just as we are now trying in this country to keep separate the real product of the cow and the other discovery of French chemical ingen uity. These would be a few of the troubles aris ing out of such a discovery; besides the troubles of having every commercial staple wcrth forty-eight times as much in gold as it now is. That explanation would create some very big fortunes apparently; but after we had studied it out a while we might find that $48,000 then, with a pur chasing power exactly equal to $1,000 now, wonld not be any larger sum than the pres ent thousand. On the whole, the world will prefer to believe that the French alchemist has not discovered the grand arcanum. THE KISSING ICE-CE0P. This is a life of compensations and draw backs. The mild winter has saved the peo ple of other cities a large sum in their coal bills, although the natural gas bills in Pitts burg run along without regard to weather. It has also coniounded the peach crop liar up to date, although there is reason to fear that he will turn up undiscouraged in the early spring. But against the economy in coal and the blessing in abundant peaches we are confronted with the danger that the harvest of ice will be a total failure. The rivers and lakes, where the translucent blocks are generally quarried out at this season, are still open water, and the ice houses, where the frigidity of winter is stored up for the alleviation of the dog days, are empty and desolate. It is difficult to estimate the difference be tween these gains and losses. Heat is nec essary to sustain life in the storms of winter; but coolness is required to make it worth living in the dog days. "Will it be a com pensation to have more than we can eat of the luscious peach if our cream turns sonr,if ice-water is unknown, ice-cream an attain able luxury and cobblers only a tantalizing dream? The prospect of an uniced summer is truly alarming. The talk of ice-palaces has so far been a barren ideality for lack of the raw material; but if ice should appear it would be wasteful extravagance to build them nntil the stock of ice was safely stored away for next summer. The best ice-palace in a winter like this is the humble and un esthctic but useful icehouse that is full of ice. AETISTIC PUGILISM. The artist on the warpath is a rather novel and interesting subject; and especially when the creator of symphonies in hitherto un known colors, recounts his pngnacions acts in humorous style the matter becomes doubly sensational. It is not surprising, therefore, that London is excited over the sudden and unexpected appearance of Mr. Whistler, whose eccentricities have heretofore mani fested themselves chiefly in his personal re marks and his productions, in the character of a shoulder-hitter and a historian of his own battles. The occurrence arose out of the fact that a brother artist expressed to Mr. "Whistler the opinion that the latter manip ulator of pigments was a coward and a liar. "Upon this Mr. "Whistler sailed in. Having accomplished what Prof. S ulli van calls "get ting his opponent's head in chancery," hav ing in Mr. "Whistler's own lingo, "decorated his eyes with an arrangement in black and blue," he kicked bis too frank critic out of doors. It is further reported that in what is called a humorous strain, the irate artist wrote a letter, stating the facts and asserting that the measures he took would "prevent in the future such results." If Mr. "Whistler's estimate of his fighting powers are correct, it would certainly ap pear that his course seems calculated to dis courage insults. The "humor" of the letter seems to be a good deal like that of Punch, and is there fore calculated to penetrate the British brain. But we question if the thumped and kicked artist will perceive the humor. Be yond that, Mr. Whistler's method of dis couraging insults is almost as uncertain as his compositions in color. Suppose that the other fellow had proved to be the more vig orous thumper and kicker, would not the discouragement have rested with Mr. Whist ler? We can hardly approve of the pugilis tic method of settling artistic differences of opinion. If Mr. Whistler wished to avenge himself on his antagonist he could have ad ministered a peculiar and unique punish ment by sending one of his own paintings to the reviler. The phenomenon of rainfall in connec tion with the condition of the atmosphere caused bv explosions, is referred to by the New York 2r6une as illustrated by the rain which fell in flint city after the ex plosion of the gas tanks on Wednesday evening. Rainfall may have been produced by explosions in some cases; but in this par ticular instance what will the esteemed Tribune do with the fact that the rain storm was brought across the country on the wings of the hurricane, having leached Pittsburg at noon of that "(lav? Did the concussion uf the Brooklyn cas meters have such an effect as to produce rain in Western Pennsylvania six or seven hours before the explosion? The Electric Trust, with only $12,000,000 of capital, does not seem to amount to much beside some of the other combinations. Bnt the promise that it will be watered up to $24,000,000 at the earliest opportunity testi fies that it is true to the regular principles of the trusts. A rather curious moral is drawn from the Beading disaster by the bright New York Evening Sun, which remarks: "Awful as was the disaster at Beading in the fall of the silk mill it might have been made more frightful had the building been heated otherwise than by steam. The horrors of fire in the ruins were not seen." This appears to enforce the lesson that if people put up buildings that are liable to fall down in a gale of wind they must furnish them with steam-heating apparatus. With that rule adopted, the steam) heaters might furnish a good sign of warning to people to keep out of the buildings. The two reports about the Blaine family yesterday were that the elder J. G. Blaine will be the Cabinet and that the younger J. G. Blaine has gone to work. The first is rather threadbare; but the second affords compensation by its startling and novel character. A SPEAKEHin the New York Dairymen's Association the other day advocated the establishment of schools in dairying, for the benefit of young farmers. Young farmers, as a rule, have a pretty thorough school for dairying on the paternal farm; but the pro posed institutions would be of great benefit to young artists who are desirous of repre senting dairy scenes. The artistic world is suffering for lack of technical knowledge as to which side of the cow the milker must be pnt. Wiggiss' great storm for the 15th of January was ahead of time, but Wiggins will claim it just the same. It would be a tough January for tbe weather prophets that did not tarn up a storm for them within a week or two of the scheduled dates. Me. Ignatius Donnelly, in replying to his critics, makes the following rather questionable statistical assertion: "Nine tenths of the graves of the world are filled with unadulterated fools." This may or may not be true; but it is a rather singular source of solace for Mr. Donnelly to resort to for the ill-success of his cipher, in the reflection that so many of the fools died before he could reach them. The Eiffel tower, at Paris, has got to the height of seven hundred feet. This will be an exceedingly lofty altitude to fall from, if the reports of its insecure standing have any foundation. Me. James O'Connor, the crushed tragedian of the East, bas introduced a new stage device. The shower oi missiles when he was playing at Philadelphia the other night was so severe, that he bad a wire gauze curtain drawn across the front part of the stage, behind which he continued the play in shelter from cabbages and cats. Thus Mr. O'Connor selves the problem of protection for the actor. The House deadlock being over, business will go on until some other member has a pet measure which he insists on caring for, by stopping everything else uc'il he has his way. The discovery that there have been big frauds on the revenues in the New York Custom House is rather hard on the Demo cratic administration. But the existence of similar things under Republican supremacy makes it unfair to turn it into a matter of pure partisanship. It simply proves that rascality is not a matter of party lines. The proposition to extend Allegheny City to take in Sewickley may be to the idea that Pittsburg might also be extended so as to' take in Allegheny. Philadelphia is all torn up by the order of the garbage authorities that all garbage must be set out on the front door steps for the convenience oi the garbage gatherers. But Philadelphia will console herself when she perceives that this will give a pretext for scrubbing off the steps an extra time each morning. The highway robbers who have resumed operations in East Liberty do not appear to have the fear of the law or police before their eyes. Colonel Elliott F. Shepaed made a rather bad break at the Boston banquet the other day by alluding to the hands of Boston that stretch all over the continent; but he is excusable. There has been a great deal said on that occasion about trusts, and Colonel Shcpard naturally had their habits in mind. PERSONAL FACTS AND FANCIES. Mrs. Stowe is steadily gaining health and strength. Me. Gladstone receives no letters from England during his Italian visit. The rported robbery of Raphael's Entomb ment r.om S. Pietro, in Perugia, so circum stantially set forth, turns out to be a stupid hoax. No such picture ever existed in Perugia. Charles II. J. Taylor, ex-Minister to Liberia, has established himself at Atlanta, Ga., as a lawyer. He appeared in court yester day f oi the first time, and won his case through his brilliant cross examination. He is the first negro lawyer to appear at the bar of Georgia. Tbe jury was white. James Brown Potter witnessed his wife's debut as Cleopatra on Tuesday night in New York, ana heard the comments passed upon the performance in the lobby. Few or the first-nighters knew that the stout, handsome young man who strolled around and listened attentively to aU that was said pro and con was the husband of tbe "star." The tablet unveiled in the Connecticut State House this week in memory of John Fitch bears this inscription: "This tablet, erected by tbe State of Connecticut, com memorates the genius, patience and persever ance of John Fitch, a native of the town of Windsor, the first to apply steam successfully to the propulsion of vessels through water." It also bears the dates 1787-lSSS. Canon Haweis still retains his stall in Chichester Cathedral and occasionally preaches with great vigor, though he is 84 years old. He is a son of the Dr. Haweis who was chaplain to the famous Countess of Huntingdon, and is the father of the Rev. H. R. Haweis, the funny little man who visited this country re cently ana is preacher, lecturer, musical ana art critic, author and newspaper man all in one. Chicago's Rival. From the New York World.! According to a recently published consular report, Port Said outstrips even Chicago in the matter of divorces. That the great Suez Canal is not altogether conducive to conjugal felicity is shown by tbe fact that there are no less than 27 divorces to every marriage. Stocking Its Chamber of Horrors. .From the Washington Star. The new year has made extraordinary head way in stocking its chamber of horrors. THE TOPICAL TALKEE. WhyMr.Laflenbnch Will Not Pat Much In the-Collection Plato This Year. "Hand me tbe Bible, Susan," said the pro prietor of tbe Railway Hotel In our town Saturday night a week ago to his wife. They were sitting in their small parlor between the bar and the kitchen; and when Mr. Laffenbach called for the sacred book his wife quietly arose and going to tbe sideboard on which a silver teapot lorded it over some plated tank ards, a pitcher and a waiting salver, drew out from a drawer a largo volume which notwith standing that its black leather covers were worn with use. was undoubtedly a Bible. If anyone had doubted the title of the book, be might hare read on its first page in florid and not very easily deciphered capitals the abso lute proofs. It would be very pleasant to picture the stout and jolly botelkeeper coming up from the cellar, where he had been tapping a new barrel of beer for the evening trade, to set down in his parlor to read a chapter of the Good Book. But the picture would lack the essential ele ment of truth. Mr. Laffenbach took the bigvolume from his wile's hands and, resting it on his knee, pro ceeded to extract from between its gold edged pages sheets of memoranda, biUs and re ceipts. When he had taken out perhaps a score of these documents, he closed the Bible with an Irreverent slam and then put it away in tbe drawer of the sideboard. With a small piece of lead pencil and a sheet of white paper Mr. Laffenbach proceeded to compose the weekly balance sheet. Nobody but Mr. Laffenbach nnderstood the use or convenience of this balance sheet, but every Saturday night it was made. Mrs. Laf fenbach would have been seriously alarmed bad her husband allowed a Saturday evening to pass without taking out tbe big Bible and figuring up the results of tho week's trade. It is rather unfortunate that Mr. Laffenbach is not a good arithmetician. He confesses that to this very daythat the multiplication table is not on good terms with bim, which is not hard to understand, when the bill he rndered to Chief the other day contained this queerly cal culated item: To 3 dozen Beer SI 00 S3 50. When Chief asked Mr. Laffenbach how three times one could make three and a half, tbe latter replied that be supposed ho had been under the impression, in making out the bUl, that it was for Abel Swartzman. It is a curious fact that this Abel Swartzman is suffering from partial paralysis, which has caused bis mental faculties to fail. In the customary course of events it was usual for Mr.Lallenbach to spend half an hour arranging tbe balance sheet and then about two or three hours, usually till the hotel closed at 10 o'clock in fact, finding out what its gen eral meaning might be. As a rule tbe sheet showed that Mr. Laffenbach was on the verge of bankruptcy this was sura to be the story the figures told when the week's business bad been unusually profitable. Last Saturday night, however, after Mr. Laffenbach bad covered no less than three half sheets of note paper and the blank margin of au tne nrst page oi tne -fuonc jjejenaervmn marvelous and mazy columns oi ngures, ne came to the extraordinary conclusion that he was actually what sporting men would term "a winner on tbe week." For a wonder the statement Mr. Laffenbach bad arranged was fairly clear and comprehen sible even to himself. So be did not, as gener ally he did, call in half a dozen neighbors to extricate him from tho web of his applied math ematics. Instead, he put tbe balance sheet into tho big Bible and asked bis wife, who had retired for the night, to throw down his bank book over the banisters. This she did, and Mr. Laffen bach, with two of his oldest friends, namely. Chief and Mr. Goodblood, drew up their chairs about the parlor fire. The bar was closed and tbe hotel only open to Buch passengers as might break the record and leave the express from the East to stay over in our town on a Saturday night. ., Mr. Laffenbach would have been very much offended if Chief had not asked as Boon as the first glass of steaming whisky punch had disappeared: "Well, landlord, how's business been this week?" The question was a time-honored part of the Saturday evening ceremonies. It was some thing like tbe "Fine weather, your honor I" that District Attorney Porter throws to the Judge on a second morning of a murder trial. Mr. Laffenbach chuckled softly and slapped bis bank book. Then he opened tho book and wrote In pencil the total of cash that had been taken during the week, as stated in the halanco sheet. There was silence for a moment as Mr. Laffenbach's pencil slowly traveled up the page of the bank book, then down again, then up and down thrico more. Mr. Laffenbach chuckled again when ho had completed tho operation. "Mine friends," said he, "fill up your glasses and drink mlt me der pissness is grader dan cferl" They did drink with Mr. Laffenbach, in fact they kept on drinking with him till Mrs. Laf fenbach asked In a rather chUly way from the top of the stairs if she was to bo allowed to sleep at all on the Sabbath morning. The next morning Mr. Laffenbach went to church as is bis wont. Before he went he took out bis balance sheet, all the memoranda in the Bible's custody, and the bank book, and spent half an hour figuring out bis financial condition. He was pleased at what he found; but even more astonished than pleased. It was no won der that be marveled, for repeated footings up of his bank account had resulted in the dis covery that he was nearly $2,000 richer than he had thought himself to be. In tho collection plate which Deacon Good blood deposited in the hands of his pastor and Mr. Laffenbach that morning was found a $100 bill. Such a contribution had never been seen in our church before. The pastor made inquiries, and finding that Mr. Laffenbach was tho generous donor, thanked him by name at the evening service. Consequently Mr. Laffenbach was a proud man last Sunday night. . Bet he wasn't so proud when he returned from tbe bank on Monday morning. The cashier, yon see, called Mr. Laffenbach's attention to the fact that he had overdrawn bis account 10. Then Mr. Laffenbach produced his bank book and laughingly asked the cashier to correct his books from that Iho cashier took the bank book, checked off tbe amounts and returned it to Mr. Laffenbach with the re mark that there was no mistake, about the over draft Mr. Laffenbach footed up the column and gave the cashier the total as he found it Tbe cashier scribbled for a minuto on a pad, and said: "You are just S1.8S9 out of the way: let me look at the book!" The cashier laughed as he observed that Mr. Laffenbach had for his own convenience written tho figures 18S9 at the head of his ac count for January,.and then included them in tho total of the credit side of bis book. Mr. Laffenbach didn't Hugh. His contribu tions to the support of tho church are likely to be very, very small for tho rest of 1S89. Hepburn Johns. A SHOWER OF DIAMONDS. Jewels of Talno Thrown by a Chamber maid Into the Gntlcr. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. New York. January 12. The, diamond car rings which were found in the pocket of an Italian beggar yesterday have been claimed by Mrs. George Frank, a resident of Murray Hill. She says she left them on her piano yes terday morning. The chambermaid shook the piano cover and earrings out of tho window. The Italian says that he found the diamonds in tho gutter be fore Mrs. Frank's bouse. DEATHS OF A DAY. Colonel John M. Johnston. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Carlisle, Pa., January 12. Colonel John M. Johnston died after a long Illness at 9 o'clock this morning at tbe Indian Training bcbpoL this city. The deceased was aired 64 years. He was promi nent in U. A. K. circles, and from 1863 until three months ago was city editor of the Lancaster In telligencer. Ills remains will be taken to Lancas ter on Tuesday morning for Interment , Andrew Pnxton. Chicago, January 12. Andrew Paxton, the widely known general Agent or the Chicago Citi zens1 League, died of peritonitis to-day at his residence in this cltv. He was 63 years old. Mr. Paxtnn'a chief distinction lay In his successful efforts In Chicago and other cities to secure the enforcement of the laws against the sale of In toxicating liquor to minors. A CUfilOUS CHALLENGE Addressed to the Colored Men North of tbe Beautiful Ohio Klter. Washington. D. C, January 11. The Hon. Tbeophile T. Allaln, for 2U years a member of the Louisiana Legislature, where bis eloquence won him the sobriquet "the colored Demos thenes," one of the most prominent and influ ential colored Republicans in tho South, has recently published in tho New Orleans Times Democrat tho following curious challenge, ad dressed 'to any colored man north of the Ohio river:" "I would say that in the parish of Iberville. La., within the last live years I have competed against abont 50 white levee contractors before the Stato Board of Engineers, under Governors McEnery and Nicholls (being under bond with the State of Louisiana for the amount and will have constructed when mv nresent levees in Iberville will have been completed) for about 833,000 worth of levee work with white superin tendents and colored superintendents, white laborers and colored laborers working side by side for the same wages, Now, to tbe point: If any colored man north of the Ohio river will send me to Soulouque, La., a certified certifi cate from the Secretary of State of any of the States north of the Ohio, showing that said colored man did in person compete before a board of State public work; and that he is him self in charge of a State work for over $2,000, and is under bond and that he has under him white superintendents and colored superintend ents, white laborers and colored laborers, all working for the same amount of wages accord ing to their positions on his work I will ship to his address, freight paid, a Jersey heifer, which is registered in the American Jersey Cattle Club book, of New York, worth $250. This wager will be kept open for 90 days. White and colored newspapers in tbe United States will please copy. I speak not as a Democrat, but as a Grant, Blaine and Harrison Republi can of the South." THE LYCOMING CONTEST. The Judgeship tllnddlo to be Straightened Out by Court, Bnt nt Grent Expense. Bpecl&l Telegram to the Dispatch. Wiixiamspoht, Pa., January 12. The con test over the office of President Judge is daUy becoming moro exciting, and tho interest of the people is on the ascendency. The court, con sisting of Judges Mayer, Rock. eUer and Bucher was in session to-day, and James L. Meredith and Frank P. Cummings were appointed ex aminers to proceed witb the taking of testi mony. The examiners were directed by order of the court to proceed with all possible dis patch and collect all the ballot boxes from every voting district in the county, the boxes to be placed for safekeeping in bank vaults or other fire and burglar proof depositories. As there are 50 districts in the county, and the boxes from two to three feet in length, by a foot wide, with six or eight inches high, It will require a very large vault to bold them. The supplemental answer of Judge Metzgar to tbe amended petition was filed. It is a de nial of all the allegations contained therein and in addition preseuts 23 additional specifications of frandulant votes cast In various districts, ranging in number from 20 down. It contains amendments to sections of tbe original answer in which tbe number of fraudulent votes speci fied are increased. Counsel for Metzgar moved the court to orderthe petitioners to file a bill of particulars containing the names and residents of all alleged illegal voters claiming that they could not properly prepare their defense with out this information. This motion was not allowed by the court The examiners were allowed CO days to take testimony, 30 days being allowed to each side. HER LUCKI HORSESHOE. One Ohio Woman Who Has Implicit Faith in the Iron Mascot. From tbe Albany Times. A certain popular Congressman is now, for tbe second term, representing a Republican district in Ohio, though he is a Democrat He was first elected through personal popularity and divisions among the Republicans. The idea of a re-election was considered preposter ous, and his wife tried to dissuade him from running again, and he used every endeavor to avoid a renomination. His wife was at a summer resort when she received a telegram announcing his renomina tion and acceptance. While she and some friends were walking In tho hotel grounds they discovered a horseshoe. A Washington gen tleman picked it up and handed it to the lady, saying: "You are feeling badly about your husband's being obliged to spend time and money in a hopeless contest Now, tills horse shoe may change your luck. Here's the shoe that Is for his election: and here are three nails these are for three majority." Tbere was a laugh over the absurdity of the idea; the shoe was hung up and tho Incident forgot ten bv the lady until It was recalled by a tele gram from her husband tho next day after tho election, announcing bis election by three. The official count gave tbe Congressman only two majority, which was doubtless owing to tho fact that while the wonderful horseshoe was being banded around for inspection one of tho nails fell out HAS NO SUPERIORS. How Tho Dispatch Is Appreciated in the Prosperous Beaver "Valley. From the Aew Brighton News. Among all the newspapers that we are privi leged to see and read, tbero is not ono that we appreciate more highly than THE Pittsburg Dispatch. In every sense of the term it is a great newspaper, and has no superiors in its own city, and few. If any, in the country. All the news of the day appear in its richly laden columns, and always so bright and crisp, as to attract the attention and hold the Interest of the people. Nothing in the way of news is per mitted to escape,and its readers can always de pend on the very best in ali departments of hu man interest The paper has made most won derful strides, and is advancing at a rate so rapid as almost to make one dizzy. In the realm of literature, choice correspondence and tho product ot the best minds of the country, the reader naturally turns toTnESUNDAT Dispatch, and is never disappointed. MAI HATE ICE YET. Idaho's Weather Prophet Says the Severest Winter Weather Is to Come. OGDEN. January 12. Old Man Wiggs, a well known weather prophet of Northern Idaho, an nounces that tho -n inter yet to come will be the severest ever known. He bases his predic tion on the assertion that the moon is away out of its place In the heavens, being several de grees further north than usual, which, in his opinion, is an unfailing sign of cold weather. "I never knew It to fail," he said tbe other day, in discussing the matter. "If the moon had only gone a little out of its way I wouldn't say a word, but here it is at least 5,000 miles further north than it has any business to be. Throe times now since I have lived here this thing has happened, and there has always been killing weather. One time it was so cold that the earth cracked and men were frozen stiff standing up. I never saw the moon so far north before though, and I tell you to look out for what's a-comlng." 0UTSW0RE THE OLD MAN. A Poor Fellow Whoso Wife Keeps nim Baying Nlghtkcys. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. New York, January 12. Mrs. John Quinn showed a Police Justice to day the strap and broom handle with which Mr. Qulnn beat her. Mr. Qulnn retaliated bytelllng how Mrs. Qulnn made him sleep on the doorstep. He has boncht three nigbtkeys since election day. Mrs. Qulnn tooK them from his pockets while he Slept so that be could not get Into the house when she wished him to stav out By dint of hard swearing Mrs. Quinn and her daughters induced the Police Justice to send Mr. Quinn to the Island for three months. NO MONEY FOR LOBBYISTS. Tbe Actors' Fund Must Not Be Used to Securo Legislation. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. New York, January 12. The Superior Court told the officers of the Actors' Order of Friend ship, to-day, that they must not spend tbe order's- funds to secure federal legislation against foreign actors. The officers wished to use the order's money in sending a committee of lobbyists to Washington. The order of the court requires the officers to show cause on January 17 why the injunction should not be made permanent Restless In Gowns. From the New York Telegram. The members of the Supreme Court of Penn sylvania have been pnt in silk gowns, and the average bucolic- legislator is dissatisfied with this "Mother Hubbard" aid to the majesty of tbe court He sees in it the beginning of in novations that will not cease until the State Senators are clothed in togas and the Governor assumes the purple. Only eternal vigilance will preserve the trousers and coat of the American citizen in high places. POLITICAL COERUPTION. An English Editor Comments Upon Ameri can Election Methods. From the London Spectator. Men will often abuse their own side when very eager to convict their opponents of wrong doing. Again, too, onr readers must not, even if the charges of corruption are not disproved, jump at once to tho conclusion that therefore American politics are hopelessly corrupt, or draw flattering comparisons between England and the United States. In the first place, Americans aro always proving that they are true-born Englishmen by their eagerness to wash their political dirty linen in public Just as in England so in America; it tbere is a pub lic scandal it is sure to bo written up and talked up entirely out of its true proportions. Neither branch of the English race tries to hide its blunders from the view of the world as do Frenchmen and Germans; but both insist not only upon the fullest publicity and the fullest criticism, but on a certain element of sensa tionalism Jeing introdnced into the discussion, which must always be allowed for by outside observers. It would seem that beyond the question of actual corruption, the recent voting has caused great dissatisfaction in regard to the working of tbe ballot Considerable attention is now being paid to tbe matter in several of tbe States, especially in New York and Indiana tbe two States in which the recent contest centered and in Connecticut, where it is said that im mediate steps are to be taken in the direction of reform. In many of the Western States, also, the public mind is being turned to the consideration of this subject The English system of voting appears on tfle whole to find most favor with those who desire pure elec tions. We trust however, that the use of En glish experience will not stop at the ballot but that the American State Legislatures will con sider whether those provisions of the corrupt and Ulegal practices act which limit the money to be expended at each election, might not be usefully adopted. In England, though corruption may still exist to a certain limited extent, the Act has worked remarkably well, and might be easily made use of In America. By limiting the amount to be spent in tbe case of each voter in the Electoral College, even a Presidental election could be bronght witbin its scope. The details of such a matter, how ever, can only be decided wisely by local expe rience. On one point only do we feel certain. If tbe American people once realize that their system of election has become corrupt, that system will be changed. The Americans bear a great deal in tho way of abuses, and allow Elenty of talk abont corruption eating out tbe cart of the nation. Let them, however, once realize that things have gone too far. and we need not have tbe slightest fear that they win rescue popular representative institutions from tbe slough into which they have momentarily sunk. TIT FOE TAT. How Judge Sharswood Gave Jndge Agnew Some of His Own Medicine. From;tbe Philadelphia Press., Tbe dinner to Judge Mitchell on Thursday night which was made as private as possible, brought out a great many reminiscences and stories of the Supreme Court in other days. One was told by an attorney who has had many years practice before the court When Judge Agnew was Chief Justice tbe rnle limiting time for argument was very strictly enforced. The sturdy old Judge had little patience with the long-winded lawyers. He watched the clock vigilantly, and cut them off on the sec ond. He was sometimes a little severe with younger members of the bar, and it is told that on one occasion when a young attorney .was sailing along in the midst of a lot of eloquence the Chief Justice said: "Yonng man, the Court will be able to wrestle with the question with out further discussion." After Judge Agnew had retired from tbe bench, which he did just ten years ago, he came before the court in a case in which he bad been retained. Sharswood was then Chief Justice. Judge Agnew took the floor to make his argu ment, and had just got fairly started with what he had to say when the hammer of the Chief Justice came down on the desk with a sharp rap. "Your time is up. Mr. Agnew," said Judge Sharswood, and the next case on the calendar was called without more ado. It took Judge Agnew's breath away, but he was compelled to yield just as bo bad often compeUed others to do. LIKE COOING LOVERS. Where Mr. nnd Mrs. Cleveland Take Their Afternoon Walks. From the Atlanta Constitution.! Of late fewpromenaders on Sixteenth street have observed on many afternoons the Presi dent and Mrs. Cleveland taking an afternoon stroll. They generally walk out to the bound ary. The President, while possessed of very many rare qualities, is evidently not possessed of tho rarest of them all that of casting aside the cares of official business while in the com pany of his wife, for he seldom chats with her. He seems to have his mind on other things than tbe enjoyment of a stroll, and as he walks appears to have his eye on something in the far distance. Mrs. Cleveland, on the other hand, seems to enjoy the walks as much as a school girl on Saturday evening, after having been confined in a seminary the entire week. She observes everything, and often speaks to someone she chances to recognize. They, however, meet few persons, for Sixteenth street is not a popu lar thoroughfare. In fact, its unpopularity accounts for the selection. They have been walking in this street of late simply because they could take a quiet stroll in that section of the city without being subject to the gazo of tbe critical. The President is invariably attired in tho regulation black Prince Albert, with a silk hat, while Mrs. Cleveland generally wears a red Directoire elaborately braided In black silk passementerie, with hat and gloves to match. HE OUGHT TO BE INSULATED. So Susceptible to Electricity That He'Cnnno t Ride on a Motor Car. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Boston, January 12. A new feature of the electric car system was brought into startling prominence this morning. Police Lieutenant Brlggs boarded a car, and the moment he stepped upon the platform he received an electric shock which made him helpless. He was completely paralyzed, and the other occu pants of the car lifted bim to the ground with the Intention of carrying him into a neighbor ing house. Then another singular phenomenon wa3 noticed. The moment Lieutenant Bnggs tonched the ground, the electric current passed lrora nis ooay. ana ne recovered tne use oi ail his faculties. He was weak, but otherwise be was uninjured. Tbe Lieutenant is said to be snsceptible to electric shocks, having once been in a bouse when it was struck by lightning, from tbe effects of which be suffered a severe shock. A YOKE THAT IS GALLING. Mr. and Kirs. Magee Tire of Their Old Lovo and Want New Ones. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. New York, January 12. Mr. and Mrs. Will iam Magee are very anxious to get away from each other. They were married six years ago. Tbeywero happy together till last fall. Then, according to Mrs. Magee, Mr. Magee be gan to love Miss Bradley. Mr. Magee says, however, that Mrs. Mageo fell In love with Charles christian, months before that. Mrs. Magee wishes a limited divorce with ali mony. Mr. Magee asks tho courts for an ab solute divorce without alimony. The Professional Beauties of Congress. From the Chicago News. The friends of Senator-elect Wolcott, of Col orado, declare that he will be tho handsomest man in the next Congress. This Is Interesting news for Senator Hiscock, who Is now the 55,000 beauty ot that aggregation of inteUect It is not reasonable to suppose that the New York Senator is prepared to surrender his rep utation for superior pulchritude at the first onset of tbe Adonis from the neighborhood of Pike's Peak. It may be that these two gentle men wUl consent to appear on equal terms, neither claiming superiority over tbe other. It Is to be hoped, at least, that some such friendly settlement can be arranged and that no apple of discord will vex the Senate with jealons strife. Even if that branch of Congress is turned into a beauty show it may yet retain its wonted dignity and serenity. Man Lives and Learns. From the Fort Valley Enterprise.! Many a husband is lost in wonder as he re flects that the glowing band which spanks his children and serves up his cabbage Is the very samo one to which be used to write sonnets, and which he never kissed without a sense of reverence amounting to rapture. He's Done One, Now for? the Other.' From the St. Paul Pioneer Press.b Having divested the playot all traditional coloring, and literally taken Shakespeare out of "Macbeth," Henry Irving should come over to this country and take boodle out of politics. THEIR SMOKES AND DRINKS. Statesmen'! Preferences in the Matter of Cigars and Beverages. '' From the Washington Post." Said an Indiana Republican yesterday: "You may be sure that there will be no temperance foolishness in tbe White House under Mr. and Mrs. Harrison, and no revolutions at tempted. They are both practical temperance people, and by their example and teaching have done much good in that way, hut they will not attempt to regulate the social customs of the people through pure force of their official and social positions." General Harrison is probably much such a temperance man as Senator Sherman is. The latter can drink a glass of beer and enjoy it; well, in fact, he is fond of a cool glass oi iager. Yet he rarely drinks .It, or anything else of an intoxicating nature. He always has upon his table at dinner, both in Mansfield and here, a bottle of native American wine, generally of light Kelly Island claret, which he and bis family drink mixed in equal parts with apol linaris water, which makes avery palatable and refreshing beverage. Mr. Sherman Is as conservative in his smoking as In his drinking. He smokes a good many cigars, but they are small, free smoking, and the mildest that can be obtained. General Mahnne teUs with great glee of the struggle Mr. Sherman had with one of his big, strong Perlectos when the Ohio statesman was a guest at the house of the Virginian in Peters burg. Sherman surrendered after half a dozen Suffs, and went to tbe door for air. General ahone went on smoking one after another of the big cigars, ending by chewing the stumps of each. Sherman would never be ranked as a nervous man, while Mahone is a little bundle of nerves. Sherman had a still worse experience, as he tearfully relates, at the palace ot the Captain uenerai oi uuDa in Havana. Alter tne nanquet a cigar was served which was six inches long, black as your hat, and strong enough to para lyze a mule. Of course, Mr. Sherman had in courtesy to smoke one, and it made bim flighty an tne rest oi tee day. While President Cleveland has oeen liberal in the matter of wines. It is well known that wines are not to his taste. Ho is no connois seur of wines, and would hardly be able to teU Rudesheimer from Corden Rouge. He likes beer as a regular beverage, and in the old days drank little else. AVben It came to anything else be practiced In tbe Edmunds, Tburman, Blackburn. Beck, Voorhees, and so on school, to whom tne sweet, effervescent French con coctions are as naught to the calm and de termined Kentucky liquid, that proceeds to business without the gaseous ernditlons of the frivolous beverages of the effete Frank. EEMARKABLE TVEATHER. Violets and Crocuses In New England La mentation From Maine. Boston, January 12.-Judge William L. Fos ter, of Concord, N. H., says: "Tbe remarkable feature of the weather for the year 1883 con sists In the great excess of the rainfall and the total precipitation (rain and melted snow) over that of previous years. The rainfall was 42.48, which is 10.27 inches more than the average of the preceding 32 years, and ha3 only been ex ceeded once within that period, namely, in 1S63, when the rainfall was 46.21 inches. An other remarkable feature is that there bas been no sleighing this winter, and the year closes with tbe ground entirely bare. There were only two days on which thunder and lightning were observed here once in August and once in September." In different parts of Massachusetts and Connecticnt violets are in blossom, columbines, crocuses and other plants are starting up, and tbe buds on cherry, pear and other trees are in a remarkably for ward and dangerous condition. Grass In many places is as green as in August. "Tho Konnebeo river Is open for navigation from Augusta to tho sea. Tbe ice all went out last night Tbe condition of the riveris unpre cedented. The Ice operators are the greatest sufferers; not a ponnd of ice having been har vested up to this time; ordinarily their honses are half filled. Reports from the lumber regions are that tbe lumbermen are In a sorry condition. Tbe snow Is all gone, the swamps are full of water and the streams are even opening so that operations are seriously inter fered with." P0WDERLT ON RINGS. H6 Wants tho Knights of Labor to Stick and Become a Part of tho Ring. From the Philadelphia Record. General Master Workman Powderly attend ed an entertainment of the street car employes on Thursday night at St Edward's Hall. The proceeds of the concert are to be used for prosecuting tbe railroads for working their men over 12 hours per day. Mr. Powderly in dorsed the demand of the men and said he hoped to see fewer vacant seats In the assem blies. He urged each man to constitute him self a committee of one to induce delinquents to renew their activity. "No heed should be paid," said he, "to re ports of dishonesty, "rings,' etc When men feave the order the 'ring' becomes narrower. Stick yourself and make the 'ring' broader and be a member of it. There is room for all the new societies, bnt the ones we hear of at pres entare formed by people who want offices men who have been disappointed in their ambition. When this ambition shall wear off tbe societies will go out with it Tbe more labor scatters the less powerful labor becomes, and. there fore, it is better to be in a big organization with principle at its foundation. If the existing of ficers don't suit they can easUy be gotten rid of." JAT GOULD AN OLD MAN. The Wall Street Wizard Aging Fast Since His Wife's Illness. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. New York, January 12. Jay Gould's ap pearance has changed remarkably since Mrs. Gould fell HI some months ago. His once black beard has become almost white; his features are wrinkled; his shoulders are rounded, and he walks witb a stoop, like some decrepit old man who has left a sick bed for the first time in months. After the long conference at the house of Picrpont Morgan last Thursday, his son George affectionately linked his arm in that of his father, and with slow, measured pace, literally supported him along Madison avenue, toward tbe family mansion on Fifth avenue. LOOKING FOR THEIR HUSBAND. Two Very Yonng Girls In Search of Their Runaway Mutual Spoase. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. New York, January 12. Two very yonng women are trying to find their husband. Con stant C. White. Two years ago Mr. White in duced Miss Amelia McDonough, 14 years old, to run away to marry him. He lived with her happily enough till six months ago. He then deserted her, after a quarrel. Two days ago she learned that ho bad mar ried Miss Daisy Ficst, 15 years idd. She went to his house in Harlem to see about it When he saw her ho ran away. He cannot be found. It Might Proro Beneficial. From the Providence Journal.! Tbere Is some discussion as to who was tho originator of the phrase, "Public office is a public trust" A little more rivalry as to who shonld carry it most thoroughly Into effect might be beneficial. Traveling Ont West. From tho St Paul Pioneer Press. Passenger at Union Depot Please give me a ticket to Philadelphia. Station Agent Yes: with or without Indian apolis stop-over coupon? General Lew Wallace' Profits. From the Boston Herald. The story goes that General Lew Wallace has cleared SCO.OOO on "Ben Hur" so far, bnt the chances are that ho wonld take about 25 per cent off for cash. Depew's Well Heel. From the Chicago Inter-Ocean. Depew's heel is well healed, and the same may be said in a double sense of the great post gastronomic talker himself. BUSINESS. PAT as you go. Never fool in business matters. Do not kick every one In your path. Learn to think and act for yourself. Keep ahead rather than behind the times. Use your own brains rather than those of others. A max of honor respects his word as be does his bond. Do not meddle with business you know noth ing about Hate order, system, regularity, and also promptness. Help others when you can, but never give what you cannot afford because it is fashion able. Learn to say no. No necessity of snapping it out dog fashion, but say it firmly and re spectfully. Ir yon hare a place of business, be found there when wanted. No mad can get rich by sitting around stores and saloons. CUEIOOS CONDEKSATIQiNS. There are 136,000 drink sellers in Bel. gium, or one for every ten families. Knang-Hsu, the young Emperor of the) Flowery Kingdom, has 30 cooks and as many doctors In his household. A musical manuscript of Mozart was soIdafewweek3aKO in Benin for 553 marks, and a letter from Lessing for GOO marks. An alum mine has been discovered in Utah. It yields 80 to 90 per cent pure alum, which can be extracted by simply placing ths crude material in boiling water. The Chicago Times has now $1,118,000 worth of libel suits on hand and does not seem, to oe worried over them a bit Western Jour nalism is not frightened artrifles. A man has just been released from the Jllnnesota penitentiary, after serving ten year for a murder which his brother committed and recently confessed on his death bed. Experimenters at Manhattan, Kan., have discovered that tbe use of salt on wheat fields will greatly Increase the yield. It is also announced that salt will kill potato bags. Cats are held in high esteem in Egypt, even to this day. In one of the Khedive's palaces at Cairo there is a free ration distrib uted every day to any cats that may care t apply. The hind buttons used on the coats worn in America cost $2,320,000 a year, and are of no earthly account Think of how many bars of soap that money would buy! And soap is something that you feel the direct benefit of. A citizen of Dubuque went around town pushing an empty baby carriage before him, and was arrested and fined $5. Had there been a baby in the cart, no law or ordinance could nave toucnea aim, wauo no nuuu iuiu ucw no less a nuisance. London has a poor relief society that re ceives as contributions garments Instead oi money. Each member is obliged to contributa two garments a year. These are disposed of in various ways by tbe officers of the society. Some are sold at low prices to the poor; soma are given away; and some are kept in stock and loaned. Wildcats abound this winter in the vi cinity of West Stockbridge, Mass.. and hava played havoc with turkeys and chickens. It is thought, too, that tbe great scarcity of part ridges in that neighborhood is due to tho abundance of wildcats. A Rockland Mills man caught one the other night that weighed 23 pounds. A Massachusetts mother went to the) room where her little girl was sleeping, and, when she turned up the light noticed some thinc dark under the little one's chin. Stoop ing to see what it was, a mouse sprang away like a flash and was gone. The little elrl had been eating crackers in bed. and the crumbs had attracted mousey, who tried to hide under her chin when the light was turned on. The oldest active stage driver in New England is probably Harvey Ward, who drives between East Eddington and Bangor. Although, his route is bnt 12 miles long, it takes him into the woods, away from railroads and telegraphs and where bear and deer cross his road almost daily. Harvey always eats bis Thanksgiving; dinner at a certain Bangor hotel, and last Thanksgiving Day he drove up to the door for bis fortieth consecutive annual turkey dinner on the very same red coach which he drove to the same door in 1S43. The entire aspect of nature along the Hudson just now is far more like spring than winter, and tho ice gatherers are in utter despair. A farmer near Kingston bas jnst been sowing eight bushels of rye; others are plowing for other crops. The steam passenger yachts have been dropped Into tbe water from the dry docks, and are making regular trips aloi-j: the river. Tows are being made up lor varijns points North and South. Contlnuanca ofsnehmild, moist weather Is contemplated with alarm by tbe fruitgrowers. A Chicago man got on a street car, car rying in his hand a quart can of oysters. Ha took a seat near the center of the car and care fully slid the can under the seat near the stove pipe. Tbe conductor bad deadened his fire with fresh coal while going around the "loop," but as the car traveled along State street the coal caught and burned up right merrily, until the stove lid became red hot Then the appe tizing odor of cooking oystera was distributed through the car. The owner of the biralves did not realize what was happening nntil it was too late, and when he alighted at bis destina tion he had a dry stow instead of a quart of raws. Five historical swords have been left by the old German Emperor to the Berlin arsenal. Tboy are the long sword, with a leather sheath, which tho monarch woro from 1810-1834; tho sword worn through the Austro-German and tbe Franco-German wars, on the handles of which aro inscribed the names of the most famous battles of 1808 and 1S70-'71; tbe sword which the Emperor wore at parades, and which was called the "Konigs-sabel:" the sword ha inherited from Frederick William IV.. and his father's old sword, which had been through all tho wars against the First Napoleon, and which, bad its place next to the desk of William I.. close to the famous comer window where the old man was daily greeted by the crowd when tho guards passed the palace. As a substitute for granite blocks, steel paving is attracting considerable attention, its durability being said to be quite a point In its favor, and its cost being somewhat less. It consists of steel strips about two and a half inches wide and one inch thick, rolled with a channel on the side exposed to traffic, and with notches about eight Inches apart: these strips weigh 11 Donnds to the yard, are laid across tha street a distance of about five Inches between centers, and their length Is only sufficient to extend to the middle of the street, so that tho proper slope from the center to the gutters can be secured. They are bolted together, so as to insure them against lateral slipping, and ara fastened to wooden sills. A firmly constructed bed of gravel composes the support for this pavement while between the steel strips a mixture of pitch and cement is poured, filling the interstices to a level with the tops of tha strips, and rendering the surface comparative ly smooth. CLIPPED BITS OK WIT. "Stop the press!" cried a Quaker city night editor In wild alarm. "What's the matter?" Inquired the foreman. There's nothing In the paper about John Waa amakerl" Chicago Times. TIUS IS MOJIET. Great wisdom in this proverb Undoubtedly doth He, And he who said It doubless saw How time can fly. Harper's Bazar. A College Athlete "I hear that son you have at college Is the best athlete of his class, " re marked Mrs. Brown. "Yes, " growled old Griggs, "he can beatanyt thing I ever heard of running Into debt." Keia Xork Sun. At the Church Fair Miss Faraway (after 20 minutes pricing thlngs).-ZIght dollars for this sash? "Why, I can buy it at any of the stores for p." Mr. Lightweight Ya-as, I know. Miss Faraway, but my time is worth something, don't you know. Harper's Bazar. Got Something Anyhow "Ah, you are out with Miss Bromley?" "On.no. She made me a present last night X asked her for her hand, and she gave me the next thing to It." "The mitten?" "Precisely." Harper's Bazar. Perfectly Safe Crimsonbeak So yon; eloped with the Colonel's daughter, did you? Bacon Yes. "Did he raise any objection?" "Well, you know the Colonel lost a leg In tha war, so that It Is Impossible for him to kick." Yonters Statesman. A Campaign Echo "Ah, my darling," murmured J. Court Plaster, as they sat on a sofa In the soltly lighted parlor, "on must forgive 'our ducky for what he said to little brother at tha supper table, bnt little brother was naughty, 'on know. What's the matter with Johany lately, birdie, anyway?" Johnny (from behind the sofa)-He's all right! loleao Blade. Had to be Made Up Country Groom (nervously fingering a dollar bill, to minister). Well. MUter Smlthers, 'bout what are you goln' to tax me for the Job?" Minister Oh, about a couple o dollars. Haw buck, will make It square." Country Groom (reaching down lntohls pocket. -A couple o' dollars (with aslgb). WelL there yon are, Mr. Smlthers. I s'pose it's cheap enough, but that extra dollar Is goln to cut short the weddln' tower, an' don't yoa ferglt It" Harper's Bazar. Max and Moritz-were the only mala youngsters In the family. The first-named one day brought a dog home, a horrid, ugly creature, to the great disgust of the female portion of the household. At length the oldest or the sisters persuaded Utile Max to take the dog back where he found It. or t j give It away, and gave him threepence for his trouble. Max strutted off with the cur, and returned In half an hour, munching the remains of the last of the nuts he had bought with his sister's money. "Well, what have you done with that ugly brute?" the latter Inquired. f "Uuvlftoilorltz!" was the reply-MwMr licit. &..&.. 4&3M jAaL ji&ku$b.i cS(ftJ4-5AEi