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v. I f ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, iiia Vol. 43, No. 331. Entered at Pittsburg I'ost- offlce, November 14. If 47, as second-class matter. Business Offlce-97 andSQ Fifth Avenue. News Rooms and Publishing House-75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street TLU paper tuning more tbnn Double the circulation of any other in ibe Mate outhlile of Philadelphia, it advantages as on adver tising medium will be apparent. t TEKJIS OF THE Dl-sl'ATCH. postage mis m the united states. J1JLTLT Uispatch, One 1 ear. 8 00 Daily Dispatch Per Quarter. 500 Daily Dispatch. One Month m Daily Dispatch, including basilar, one Tear 10 00 Daily Dispatch, including fcunday, per quarter 150 Daily DisrATCU, Including Sunday, ons month....... ........... ........................ ) Eckday Dispatch, one rear. rso Weekly Dispatch, one'year 13 Tur Daily DI6PATCU is delivered by carriers at IS cents per week, orlncludingthesundaj edition, at g)eent per week. PITTSBURG, WEDNESDAY. JAN. 23. 18S9. SUCCESS P0B THE EXPOSITION. The $37,000 of subscriptions secured at the Exposition meeting last night, made the gathering itself a gratifying success, and put the Exposition project fair on the road to an equally signal and manifold more gratifying triumph over its difficulties. One of the promising features of the meet ing was the disposition shown by all classes from the largest business men to the smaller merchants to join in the support of the Drojeet The subscriptions of fire thousand, one thousand, five hundred, and one hun dred dollars, were all indicative of the readiness of the wealthiest as well as the email business men to furnish whatever funds are necessary. There is still much work to be done in raising all the funds required; but with the start secured by the last two meetings every one will be inspired with faith in its com plete success. WHAT WILL THE HOUSE D01 The tariff bill was passed by the Senate yesterday by a strict party vote. The bur den now rests with the House of saying whether the tariff dispute shall be settled this session, and the surplus, of which we heard so much about a year ago, reduced 'without waiting another year. Of course, as the Senate bill in most respects represents a. wide variation in policy from the House bill, the lower branch cannot be expected to accept it entire; but it still has the responsi bility of deciding whether it will kill tariff legislation by various pretexts of delay for the six weeks that are left, or push it to a compromise in conference committee. While both measures are open to criticism, the ma jority of the people who can view the sub ject free from partisanship will think it bet ter for the country to have the matter ended, if it is possible to reach a fair compromise, than to have the uncertainties prolonged for another year. SUBSTANTIAL PE00FS. Itecent numerous transfers oflarge blocks of Pittsburg real estate in the business part of the city show the faith of capitalists in the growth of this place. The immense buildings put up in the past few vears are to be followed by others on a still larger scale, particularly on Fifth and Penn ave nues and Wood and Smithfield streets. Thus events are shaping themselves in the direction foreseen and predicted fully by The Dispatch at various times in com paring the future of Pittsburg with that of other cities which until lately were making more pretentious declarations of their "booms." Here there has been no extrava gant bulling of property. Hardly a house has changed hands on mere speculation. What has been bought and what has been built has been in almost every instance to supply an actual and pressing need of business already existing. In place of the erection of immense structures to ac xaodate and invite business not vet in be ing, Pittsburg has simply moved under the pressure of business already here. The large investments now under way on every Bide are the outcome of no mere visionary expectation of "booms." They are under taken in nearly every instance with refer ence to wants already felt Thus they are the most convincing evidence at once of the present prosperity and of experienced judg ment as to future prospects. The extension of the Vanderbilt interests and the promised early completion of the South Penn road are also straws in the same direction. Prom all present signs it is safe to regard 1889 as opening with brightest out loot for this district oi any year in our local history. THE HONONGAHEXA CASE. The argument on the condemnation of Lock No. 7 of the Jlonocgahela Navigation Company's works, in the United States Cir cuit Court yesterday, opened up some very important issues, not only in connection with this immediate case, but with regard to the appropriation of any corporate prop erty by the Government The most promi nent of these in the arguments was whether in the condemnation ot corporate property, the payment must include, in addition to tbe value of the works, the value of the franchise, or in other words, for the earning power which the corporation has obtained by the public grants. The other one. which is less prominent at present, but which is likely to arise if it is held that the franchise must be paid lor, is how the damage to it is to be estimated, when it is left undis turbed on six other locks and dams, through-which all the traffic from the prop erly condemned must go and pay tolls' These are puzzling questions, and the pr lie will await the final decision on ' 1 A with great interest even if the w a;tjn(r covers the term of years necessary to ., f! ruling on them from the United States Su preme Court. A EESULT OF THE AGSESjgJSSj; Tbe lauure 01 tbe stock marr et to respond to the assurances of the P -oclripnt'c w.n. ment by wh!ch dividend are t0 be . -ccted into an immense amnnt of watered stock, is generally to indicate the Jack ?.y e Part of the public iD the pledges of t magnates. That may have somethir . JV. ... . . ... , menu .g 10 uo niiu 11, uui. iuc ueveiup which are gradually being made con- cer .!... .1... A i.tilr.. .(..I .nnn.ef anntltn.. -nfluenee which throws a good deal of light on tbe railway-policy. It must be remembered that concurrently with the publication ot the agreement, there was a unanimous announcement that rail way stocks were to become very profitable jiroperty. All the railway authorities and the entire press agreed to that, with a lew chronically independent exceptions. But sothwithstanding the combined boosting, stocks failed to go up, and the Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe stocks developed alter a few days a decided disposition to go down. The explanation of this is furnished by the fact leaking out, that in pursuit of its policy of pushing its lines ahead of develop ment on the financial qualities of wind, that company has swollen its debt to $70,000,000, and, in addition to the recent suspension of unearned dividends, now contemplates a deficit of some 57,000,000. This certainly is enough to account for the decline in values; but it does not make the connection with the great railway agree ment quite clear, until weobserve the reviews of the stock transactions, which point out that as soon alter the agreement as the ap pearance of a bull movement conld be worked up, some one commenced unloading that stock on the market. In a single hour of Tuesday of last "week 92,000 shares were sold. There is no question but that the agreement was useful to the Atchison in siders in enabling them to dump-some 510, 000,000 or $15,000,000 of the stock they had made worthless on the market. It is intimated that the agreement was not strong enough to enable all the stock to be unloaded, that the people wished to get rid of; but enough of it was done to make it a pertinent question whether the railway policy requires the Presidents to get up agreements in order to let wreckers unload worthless stocks on the confiding public? A SUFFICIENT EXPLANATION. The intimations that the Farmers and Mechanics' Bank of the Southside had been victimized by its former officers were given a substintial basis yesterday by the news that a 540,000 check was discovered, drawn to the order of a Chicago grain broker, but not entered on the books of the bank. This is accompanied by declarations on the part of some oi tbe Southside people, that the former cashier and his brother had been speculating in grain. These statements, if accurate, furnish a full explanation of the failure of the bank. There has not been a bank failure for the past five years that was not caused by specu lation, and the number of institutions that should be fiduciary, but have been be trayed by the speculators, is legion. It is thought strange that men holding such positions should violate the trust that is placed in them for the hope of making money by speculation. But when we reflect that the hope of speculation is to get the money of other people without giving a fair return for it, what wonder is it that men who are tempted by the glittering but deceptive prizes of that dishonesty should be led into borrowing the money placed in their charge and which they al ways intend to return? The wonder should rather be the other way. It will be strange, When the tempta tions to speculation are present on every side, and the great fortunes won bj thimble rigging the markets are dangled before all eyes, if the ruin and loss to financial insti tutions and honest depositors is not multi plied ten, twenty or even a hundredfold. OF TIMELY INTEHEST. That the quality of Mercer justice in deal ing with the liquor question is stern enough to satisfy the most exacting may be inferred from the sentence of three months impris onment and $500 fine yesterdav imposed on a well-known Pittsburg druggist, Mr.FIem ing, who was held guilty of breaking the law by sending liquor to that prohibited dis trict C. O D. Had the custodier paid for the goods in Pittsburg when ordering them, Mr.Fleming presumably would not be held, the sale then taking place here. The case presents an awful warning to druggists and wholesale liquor dealers to be careful to see that cash accompanies orders-in transactions with local option counties: but that the ter rors of such legal proceedings will be power fully operative in the interests of temper ance is to be doubted. The buyer and seller will simply evade the legal penalties by having their agreement made and the money pass outside of the prohibited district It the exhilarating fluids which STr. Fleming supplied to Mercer county were intended for re-sale there in violation of the law, or for general distribution in any form, there might be good reason for the Bench exercising great severity. But if the party ordering them wanted them solely for private consumption, and not pro bono pub lico, as it were, the sentence must be re garded as quite salty. The Supreme Court, it is announced, is to have a say on the legal bearings of the fatal C. O. D. arrangement. Meanwhile ti e further development of the case in that hv rh and mighty tribunal of last resort will, be watched with keen, almost painful, interest by the people of the whole State, who, should the Constitutional amendment patf, next June, will want to know under w'hat safe restrictions and commercial usages they are thereafter to get their "wet goods" from abroad. THE COMING QUESTTOX The vote on the joint resol'jtion submit ting the prohibition amendment to the vote of the people, in the House, yesterday, was as The Dispatch had predicted, a very strong one. It may be taken as a foregone conclusion that t'je vote in the Senp.te will also be decisive. While the question is not a party one, as "nas been said of Ip.te with re gard to the a doption of the araendment by the people, tnat with regard to its submis sion has been made so muUa party one, that the Senate will not tr ke the responsi bility of reversing the ac tion taken by the House. This leaves the que' tions with regard to the future of the amendment, (1) what will be the result of the pr ,pular election; and (2) what will be the cor .rse of legislation it" the amendment is ra titled. The activity of some of the leaders in introducing amend ment s to the li cense law shows that there aTrs many arr.ong those voting for the amendment -who do not believe that it will be ratified. If they thought prohibition would be the law of this State after next J one it is certain that they would not now be introducing license bills to be come a dead letter before they were in full operation. Their judgment may. however, be no better than that of anyone else; and the readers of The Dispatch will have an opportunity of judging for themselves from our special correspondence on the subject before the vote is taken. Should the amendment be adopted, it is tolerably clear that it cannot receive im mediate enforcement without a session of the Legislature. But it may occur, in this connection, that the governing powers of Pennsylvania have displayed considerable skill at times, both in failing to pass legis lation to enforce Constitutional provisions and in omitting to call extra sessions to supply needed legislation. There are a good many possibilities intervening between yteterday's vote and the entire extinction of the liquor traffic THEY SHOULD TAKE TIME. An interview with Representative Laf ferty, who introduced the bill containing that remarkable provision excluding all new street car lines from Pittsburg, except by consent of the existing lines, gives the following statement as coming from him. "The bill was handed to me just a lew mo ments before I presented it, I bad no time to read it and consequently knew nothing of its provisions." We have no doubt that Mr. Laflerty's statement is correct, and we have little doubt, also, from other indications, that the practice is becoming somewhat common for members to introduce bills which are handed to them by someone else, with a very slight knowledge of the provisions actually con tained. This makes it pertinent to urge upon our lawmakers, not only the good policy, but the urgent duty of delaying the introduction of their bills until they know what is in them. Xcgislators are responsible to the whole State for the measures that they introduce. It would seem from the remarks of some of them that they regard themselves simply as messengers, not to say puppets, of some other persons, and that when they receive bills all tbey need to ao is to perform the errand without troubling themselves to in quire into the character of the measure or to consider whether it is such as they ap prove or disapprove. Responsibility can not be escaped in that way. If a member proposes a measure which will confiscate the property of all the private citizens in the State it is no excuse that the bill "was handed" to him and he "had not time to read it." Members' who understand the duties of legislation will take time to read their bills, and further than that, will introduce no bills that they do not approve. The prac tice of proposing legislation on important matters just because some outside party tells you to, is quite susceptible of abuse. Me. Blaine voting the proxies of Barnum and Bayard at the meeting of the West Virginia Central Railro.sd, affords an evidence that in the corporate affiliations of statesmen party lines are not drawn. The report of a Pig Iron Trust need neither worry nor rejoice anyone. With a capacity of furnaces out of blast and ready to go in at any advance of prices, sufficient to increase the production fifty per cent., acombination of that sort would be likely to break its own back at starting. When the Steel Beam Trust is going to pieces, the pig iron industry is not likely to attempt the impossible. The African Arabs have long been noted as a trading people; and they are true to their character now in offering to trade prisoners whom they have captured for po sitions which they wish to hold. Colonel Elliott F. Shepabd, ex plaining how he publishes a horse racing column daily in his paper, in order to spread the evangelical work among the sporting men, is a sight calculated to pro voke the laughter of gods and men. The report that are being published from the Pittsburg railroads show a good business from this locality, however the other lines may have suffered from throat cutting. And now we hear 0 f charges of bribery in connection with that Minnesota Senatorial election. Is it possible that a Washburn had to demonstrate I lis qualifications for Congressional honors by coming down with the boodle? , Now- that the Standard Oil Company lias got the whole Lima oil field safely in its grasp, we may hear another tale about the merchantable character of that odoriferous fluid. The news that ojet Lafayette Hall is to be replaced by a modern business block foreshadows an improv ement of our archi tecture, but with it ithe destruction of a place replete with reminiscences to the older Pittsburgers. OVEB all doubts and discouragements the meaning of. last night's meeting shines out to the eOect that the Exposition must and shall be a big success. Me s. Eawson, from t he testimony in the last Vial to which she is a party, appears to be t. very bad lot. Jud-nng from the ac tio ns of the other peoplt in the case it may a) so be suspected that the complaint is con- 1 .agious. v The Spottsville, Kentuc ky, bridge disas ter only affords another example of the policy of settling business disputes by petty civil wars. When the Times' lawye rs attempt to im plicate Archb'ishop Walsh in their work of attacking Parneli, some discreet friend should be at hand to warn them that they had got hold of the business eml of a boomerang PUBLIC PEOPLE PARAGRAPHED. The wife and daughter1 of Mr. Halford, General Harrison's private secretary, are spend ing the winter in Florida- Hiss Halford is noted as a singer. Captain William S. ldams, of Kingston, who died not lone ago, nas a good friend of his calling, for heleft-11125,000 to the Boston Marine Society and SbO.OC O to the Boston Pilot Society. Lady Salisbury and 1 "jady Uoseberry called at the residence of Mr. Phelps, the United States Minister, in Lowndes Square, London, yesterday afternoon, and informally presented Mrs. Phelps with a saperb bracelet Two of the young Africa n natives whom Car dinal Lavigerie sent to 1 Jlle, tbsre to study medicine, have just obtan ted their degree of M. 1., after passing their examination in a brilliant manner. Their n mes are Frederick Mahomed and Vital Harriet L Here Euqen Richter calculates, from re cent military statistics, tlia. t Germany now has at her disposal a war am ly of 3,513,416 com pletely drilled men, not coi inting those belong ing to the reserves and the i2uandstraui, who are not drilled in'time of peac e- A millionaire, named Tagllable, who died recently at Milan, bequeat hed the sum of 50, 000 francs to the street sn ecpers of that town, on condition that they would all go to his funeral in their working c Jotbes. In his youth he had himself been a.knij rht of the broom and shovel. The Czar of Russia is an enormous eater. He considers three poun Is of meat and two quarts of champagne a irery liqht luncheon. His dinner would be snfna ient for three men of ordinary digestive ability. His insomnia is due to his gormandizing, but hie prefers sleepless ness to dieting. He Emotes constantly, and altogether lives an existen ice which would kill any man devoid of an iron constitution. THE Cotnte d'Oultrem ont, an ex-officer of cavalry, and now one of t be members of tho Chamber of Brussels, has prepared a carefully elaborated bill for the establishment of uni versal obligatory service, by which the effective force of the Belgian army is to be carried in time of war to from 250,00010 300,000 men (it is now about 130,000 men), w ithont any Increase of the military budget. Count von Moltke is- particularly fond of music, and spends many in evening in the com pany of his aid-de-camp,. Captain von Moltke and bis wife, who sing aud play a,;reeably. He Is also an excellent player at wlust, He has plenty of bonhomie when he is in the presence of company, and is not at all the tveiturn per son frequently represented. He is an inveter ate smoker, and enjoys his glass of beer. His handwriting is remarkably clear, c onsidering his age, and by tbe few erasures mad e it is evi dent be rives everything careful thought be fore committing it to paper, and never writes a word more than is necessary. Tula Tear's Cotidn Crop. Charleston, 8. C, January 22. The Newt and Courief says the cotton crop of this year will be the largest ever made, ana will approx imate 7.500.000 bales. THE TOPICAL TALKEB, Woodpeckeri, Sleight, nnd n LUtlo Heap of Very Conflicting; Subject Treated Lightly. One of the Superintendents of Corstruction in the service of the Western Union Telegraph Company showed me the other day a section of a telegraph pole, which had been turned into the semblance of a pigeon-hole rack by the bills of thrifty woodpeckers on the line of the Cen tral Pacific. I had seen similar curiosities be fore, but my friend of the Western Union told me something that was still more surprising. 'The woodpeckers," said he, "are just as troublesome in the South. Tbey drill boles in the telegraph poles and everywhere else they can, fill up the cavities with acorns and then calmly watt till the embryo oaks decay and breed worms. The woodpeckers can see a long way ahead when they're preparing a feast of worms. This practice of the birds gives the Western Union a good dealot trouble, and there Is no way to abate the nuisance. Tho woodpeckers would honeycomb the wooden truss bridges so common on Southern railroads were it not for the close watch kept over the bridges by men armed with shotguns." .. The aspect of Wood streot from Fifth ave nue toward tbe Monongahela will be greatly changed. The wind storm of January 9 and what a jury has declared to be the negligence of certain builders, contractors et al., has wiped out a very sqa&t and unbecoming row of houses. In their place big buildings worthier of this city and day will go up. Lafayette Hall, an ugly old barn in spite of Its hlBtorlc appendages, is to be razed to the ground ana its successor will be a far handsomer structure. The rapidity with which Pittsburg is ex changing the short coats and knee pants of childhood for the costume of a matured city is amazing. It isn't safe for a man to leave the city for any length of time now, for In his ab sence it may outgrow him and have no place for him when he returns. V 'What can I do for you to-day?" said the liveryman with a wave of his right band toward tho sleigh department and of his left toward tbe rear of a highly decorated hearse. "1 want a horse and sleigh," said the young man. "AH the horses are out except Polly will she do?" Young man remembers that Polly killed her man last week after a brief runaway, but with a burst of bravery he says: "Hitch up Polly to a sleigh and r;hcn another horse comes In send the hearse along after usl" V A TOtJXQ sailor who sailed forHayti on the United States man-of-war Atlanta a few days ago, wrote to a relative In this city a very touching letter on the eve of his departure, that is to say tbe letter was meant to be touch ing. After giving directions about the disposal of his worldly effects, in tbe event of his death at the hands of the Haytians or yellow jack, ha wound up with tho following appeal: "Please give my dog, Rope, to Ted Smith, and tell him to take care of him for my sake. I will let you know where you can send me that $50 as soou as we reach Port-au-Prince." "Got a frightful headache this morning, my dear," remarked Mr. Peetsberg to his wife at breakfast yesterday. "Too much dinner at the clut last night" sagacionsly responded bis better half. "Too much dinner? Why, I only had a few oysters, some roast turkey, an entree, et caitera." . "I guess it wasn't the et cajtcra so much as the caitera you drank!" was the terrible reply. V As Italian laborer, who was at work in the coke region, disagreed with his wife a few months ago and decided to leave her for a while and try his luck in Pittsburg. One day last week he received a letter from bis sister, who lives with bis wife, telling him that he was a father for the first time, and that his wife earnestly desired a reconciliation. He made up his mind to meet his wife's overtures for peace In a proper spirit, and started for the Union depot at once to take the train for his home in the country. After he had bought bis ticket it occurred to him that it would be a good idea to send a tele gram to hts wife announcing his advent He tried to tend the telegram in Italian, but the receiving clerk wouldn't take it, so he com pnnnded the following message in til-spelled English: "Coming home next train; much obliged for the baby." And this story is strictly and entirely true. EXCLUDING THE AMERICAN FLAG. A School Board Refuses to Accept Banners From a Secret Society. ITTSTOir, Pa., January 22. Washington Camp, No. 257, Patriotic Order of tbe Sons of America, on January 4 made a proposition to the School Board of this place offering to de fray the expenses of placing United States flags in all the schools of the city. The purpose of tbe offer was to inculcate patriotism In the minds of the young scholars and cause them to become familiar with the origin, history and meaning of the symbols. When the matter came to a vote the proposition was rejected 3 to 2. The opposition is claimed to be due to disin clination on the part of the board to be be holden to a serret society. The action occa sioned much adverse criticism, which cul minated to-day in the starting of a petition asking for a reconsideration of the Doard's action. It is believed that this is the only in stance on record of a school board refusing to admit tbe American flag into the public schools. Similar requests have been made in ether cities and have always been granted nhnnt hesitation. The school board is com posed of three Irishmen, one Welshman and one American. IT LEADS IN ALL THINGS. A Paper That Gives It Patrons Everything NVw, Presented In nn Attractive Manner. From the Unlontown Genlns of Liberty.! The leading dally newspaper of Western Pennsylvania is The Ptttsboro Dispatch. It leads In news and all things which go to make up a first-class daily and weekly, and, as a result leads in circulation. Regardless of cost H gives to its readers everything new which is profitable,entertainingand Instructive. It is complete in all its departments, and those who peruse its pages will find everything of in terest in the news world presented in a most attractive way by the best trained journalists of tbe country. Scrnnton's Municipal Situation. Special Telegram to the Dlapateh. Scraxtox, January 22. Tne Democrats of this city to-day nominated John Quinan for. Mayor, John Gibbons for Treasurer, If. B." Reynolds ror Controller, and Jacob Geiger for Assessor. The nominations for Mayor and Controller will hold only in tbe event of tbe Supreme Court declaring tbe municipal act of IKTi unconstitutional at the hearing on Febru ary 2. DEATHS OP A DAT. " John C. Parker. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Mraoville, January a John C. Parker, one of the best known eltirensof Weatern Crawford, died to-day or paralysis the brain at his borne at Atlanta. Mr. Parker Vas a native of Ireland, and served in the English army during the Cri mean War. He came to America about I860, and enlisted In the One Hundred and Sixty-ninth Pennsylvania Volunteers, serving nntU the war ciosea. lie was ageu o jeara, ijir. i aner re cently became the possessor of a large sum of money bequeathed by his father, 'who died re cently in Ireland. Hon. Brasilia Ilnsaey, U1TTLE Cmek, MICH., January 22. Hon. Erastns Ilnasey died yesterday, aged 89 years. He came to Michigan in 1X4 and lived In this city over CO years. He became a leader of tbe Liberty movement thronghont Michigan in 1847-9. sir. Husscy iru a very strong Abolitionist, and had charge or the underground railroad station here. He sheltered and assisted to escape nearly 2,090 negroes. Reuben Cramer. Mr. Beuben Cramer, an employe of the Mcin tosh, Hemphill & Co.'s foundry, corner or Thir teenth and Etna streets, dripped dead in the mill vesterdav morning. He was In the 59thvearof his age and re-lded atthe corner of Ttrenty-secona 1 eireei&Qu juujnerry siier. n9 icarei a wueanu seven children. Heart disease Is supposed to have been the cause ofhts death. Mrs. James I. Bennett. Anne E. Bennett, wife of James I. Bennett, the forme r well-known Iron merchant of this city, died early yesterday morring at the lamlly resi dence. No. 11 North averfqe, Allegheny. The ro-nu-al services will be held Friday morning at the house. TEE EIFFEL TOWER. V spssswh Tear of Its Falling- Precautions Taken Against Sncu a Disaster. From the London Globe. 1 Confidence Is restored to Paris. It is not considered pleasant in the neighborhood of tho Champ ae Mars to spend 43 hours in doubt whether one is to be buried under the debris of a tower nearly 900 feet high. However, tho Eiffel tower can say "I stood 5" and the experts say, on tbe faith of their theodolites, that it is going to stand, unless anything goes wrong hereafter. But while congratulations must be offered to the people who live about the Champ deMars, sympathy must be extended to the crowds who came together from less menaced quarters some of them with plumb-lines, just as tbey would have brought smoked glass to observe an eclipse to see what tbe monster was going to do. That the monster did nothing, after all this anticipation, was unfair; and it is probable that its further rise in height will be accommnied bv some diminution of popular ity. The Parisians forgot that special provi dence watches over ugly and useless things; and that this is better security even than tho theodolites of science. Were it otherwise, we doubt if the explanations of the constructor of the abomination would carry much comfort to those who have to think, not of their neigh bors' peril, whlcn of course is nothing, but of their t ery own. We are told that when the Eiffel tower does really show symptoms of emulating the tower of Pisa, a hydraulic press of bOO tons power will move complicated machinery concealed in the brick work, which again will remove one or more of the thin plates of steel between the stories, thus throwing the mass back into its perpendicular. Cordially will the neighbor hood of tbe Champ de Mars pray tbat the hydraulic press v ill be always ready, and that tbe complicated machinery will never fall ont of gear. If soaring ambition should overbuild itself and fall on the other side, the question will have to be faced as to whicb side tbat other is to be; and then even trust in Provi dence may prove as misleading as in the case of people who live under avalanches and vol canoes. JOAQUIN ML-LER'8 ROMANCE. Which Will be Published In Tbe Dispatch, Begtnnlna- "ondny, February 3. From the Uook World. Mr. Joaquin Miller, the famous poet of tho Sierras, has turned novelist by writing a ro mance entitled "The Burled River." It is a bold venture beyond tbe improbable into tbe impossible, for it deals to some extent with that river which some Callfornians have con ceived as flowing under ground below their mines and bedded in solid gold that has in the ages washed into its waters. In that respect it suggests a Rider Haggard phantasy. But Joaquin Miller is ever a poet, and he has placed an absorbing romance of quite reason able if unusual love into that environment of strange adventure. It Is a work that intro duces him powerfully and remarkably into prose Action, according to a publisher who has read the manuscript. "The Buried River" is one of the series of novels which began with Franklin File's "The Colonel's Cards" and is to be continued with "Tho Lily of Rochon" by Mr. Maurice Thompson and a story of St. Clair's defeat In Ohio by the Rev. Dr. Edward Everett Hale. The authors share equally the cash Income of the joint enterprise, however unequally they may happen to gain the rewards of fame by their contributions. At all events, Poet Miller has made a strong stroke for dis tinction as a romancer. THE POTTERS' ASSOCIATION. Business Transuded nt the Annual Meeting at tbe Capital City. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Washington, January 2. The Potters' Association held a very short meeting to-day, principally on account of the desire of most of the members to attend tbe session of the Sen ate and listen to the closing discussion on the tariff and witness the taking of tbe vote. All that was done was to hear the address of the President, Mr. Thomas Maddock, of Trenton; the report of the Secretary, Mr. Alfred Day, of Steubenville, and to appoint committees to re port upon matters of organization and interest to the trade to-morrow. President Maddqck in his address, dealt particularly on the feasi bility and necessity of giving more attention to the production of a finer grade of ceramics, and thus cultivating a taste tor the industry as an art, and educating the wealthier class of people to the fact tbat art goods of this charac ter can be produced in America as well as else where. He also urged upon the convention the im portance of a better display at the pottery ex Eosition this year than there was last year, ecretary Day spoke particularly of the condi tion of the trade, which was stated to be very fair. The importations, however, were reported to be about $800,000 In excess of the importa tions of last year. About 35 pottery firms of the United States are represented in the con vention. Election of officers, reports of impor tant committees, etc., will come to-morrow, and in tbe evening a banquet will be held at Willard's Hotel, where mostof tbe members of the convention are stopping. C0XGER-N0T A CANDIDATE. He Will Support Asa Bashnell for Governor of Ohio. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Akron, January 22. Colonel A. L. Conger, of this city, Ohio's Republican National Com mitteeman, just back from calling on General Harrison, says in an Interview here to-day that be will not be a candidate for Governor of Ohio before the next Republican Convention. He says his large business interests require all his time, and that business and politics do not mix well. It Is understood tbat Colonel Con ger will throw his influence in favor of General Asa Bushnell, of Springneld,and that his with drawal will make the race a close one between Butterworth and Bushnell. An Accident In Washington. From the Chicago News.3 Pedestrian (to TVashlngton polioeman) "What is tbe meaning of the great crowd in the street, officer? Is anybody hurt?" "No; there has been an accident and the street is blockaded, but things will soon be in shape again." "But tell me what has happened?" "Why, you see. Vice President-elect Morton has just met First Assistant Postmaster Gen eral Stevenson, and their titles are too long to pass each other on tbe same thoroughfare. We are trying to indnc? tbe first assistant post master general to resign for half an hour while we get things into shape." Progress of tbe Nlcarnaaa BUI. Washington, January 22. The conferees on the Nicaragua canal bill have agreed. The following House amendments, it is believed, have been dropped or modified: Requiring that 10 per cent, of the capital stock be paid np before any bonds be sold; providing for printing across the face of the bonds of a no tice tbat the United States is not responsible for them, and allowing the United States to fix rates of tolls on the canal. They Will Have No nelp. Little Rock, January 22. To-day the Sen ate passed the concurrent resolution previously adopted by tbe House, Instructing Senators and requesting Representatives from Arkansas in Congress to use their utmost efforts to defeat the measure Known as tne liiair educational bill. Tbe resolutions were adopted by a large majority in both houses. Mysterious Horse Mnlady. West Chester. January 22. A number of horses in this section are afflicted with a fatal malady. Veterinary surgeons describe it as being a species of spinal meningitis. The throat and neck swell so tbat tbe animals can not eat. In Westtown to wnship, Mr. Frederick Brlnton has lost three fine horses, and another is similarly affected. Two Horseshoes at Niagara. Lockport, January 22. Another large piece of rock broke loose from the crest ot the Horseshoe Falls last nlgbt. The contour of the falls now presents a donble horseshoe. The smaller one formed by tbe last displacement is in advanoe of and to the right of the center of the large horseshoe. West Virginia's Go? Politics. From the Washington Star.) Political excitement in West Virginia is re sponsible for many severe threats on both sides, and if all that Is said comes true, General Goff will take bis official cath sword in hand and de liver his Inaugural address while standing knee deep in gore. Gen. Swalm Not Incnpncllated. Washington, January22. Thereportof the Army Retiring Board, appointed to examine Judge Advocate General Swalm for retirement, yias filed to-day, and has not found him Inca pacitated for active service. AT THE SOCIAL SHEIHB. Bin. Park Painter's Brilliant Reception and Several Oilier Nice .Events. One of tbe most brilliant social events was the reception given by Mrs. Park Painter, of Ridge avenue, Allegheny, yesterday evening. The carriages began to arrive about 8.30 and kept coming until the number ot guests had reached fully 200. They were received by their host and hostess, whose assistants for tbe even ing were present in the persons of Mr. and Mrs. G. Edward Painter and Miss Darlington. The floral decorations, furnished by J. R Murdoch, were tasteful and varied, tropical plants and ferns were mingled with domestic carnations. Large balls of these latter were suspended above the doorways, while tbe cur tains were entirely covered by them and sur mounted by festoons of smllax. Six pieces of Uernert & Guenther's orchestra made merry rhythm for tbe merrier leet, until 10.30, when supper was announced. It was served in the billiard room, by Hagan. who did full justice to the occasion, as did likewise the guests. Supper over, the guests dispersed through the various parts of the house: the voanger ele ment to again pay tribute to terpsicborean art; others again to indulge in con ersation, while again some of the gentlemen enjoyed a quiet hour in the billiard room. Thus the morning hours soon approached, on all too speedy wings. The most prominent society people of both cities were present. THE LAWRENCE RECEPTION. The Lnwrence Young Men's Democratic Club Entertains Its Friends. Tbe Lawrence Young Men's Democratic Club held their first annual reception at Im perial HalL corner New Grant and Seventh avenue, last evening, with a large attendance, the Royals and McMichaels furnishing the music. A lunch was served in the hall by the club to their friends and their welfare looked after by the following aDle Committee of Arangements: J. R. Deegan, Chairman; J. F. Schaffer. D. J. DriscolL H. G. Pilgrim, G. A. Schott, J. Ber ger, J. Leahy, M. W. Kane, O. Loudermilch and Ed Cook. HENDERSON-WRIGHT. A Quiet Home Wedding on Finnkstown Avenue, East End, Last Nlgbt. Miss Retta J. Henderson, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. A. K. Henderson, of Frankstown avenue. East End, and Mr. Charles A. Wright, the Hiland avenue grocer, were married at tbe home of the bride's parents last evening by Rev. C. V. Wilson, of the Emory M. E. Church. The wedding was a qniet one, with just tbe iuimediate friends of the family present; after which tbe bride and groom left on a late train for a tour through the West, previous to settling in their new home in the East End. The First or a Series'. Ths first of a series of entertainments to be given by the Allegheny Cotillon Club material ized yesterday evening at Cyclorama Hall, Allegheny. The hours were from 8 until 2, and about 75 couples were present. Supper was served by Caterer Luther, and the music was excellent. An Annual Dinner. The annual dinner of the Pittsburg Plate Glass Company was given at the works at Crelghton, on the West Penn Railroad, yesterday. About 50 invited guests were present. Speeches were made by the most prominent persons present. A Juntn Gathering. The Junta Club held a meeting at the resi dence of Mr. Willis King, on Center avenue, last evening. A lnncheon was served by Hagan. BAYARD'S SAMOAN YIEWS. ti The Secretary of State Talks of the Recent Trouble. Washington, January 22. The dispatches from London and Berlin in regard to Samoan affalrs,pnbllshed in this morning's newspapers. were shown to Secretary Bayard, at the State Department, this afternoon, with a view of ob taining some expression of opinion from him on the subject. His attention was specially in vited to the statements that "Germany has come to a dafinite understanding with the United States with regard to Samoa." and in response he said: "Of course I expect Germany to live up to her honorable engagements with the United States. I have no right to think otherwise. But you must know that these are matters I do not care to discuss in the newspapers." When asked in regard to tbe policy of this Government he referred the questioner to the President's message to Congress of the 15th inst., and quoted from his letter to the German Minister, dated the 12th inst.. and which was recently published, as expressing bis own views on tbe subject The Secretary also alluded to the agreement entered into between Great Britain and Germany in April, 18S6, defining the boundaries of English and German do minions in the West Pacific ocean, in which it is specifically declared that the Samoan islands are neutral territory. The United States, he explained, has no joint treaty with either En gland or Germany in regard to tbe neutrality of Samoa. Therefore, if Germany has inter fered with tbe neutrality of that country, she has not broken a treaty with tbe United States, but has broken one with Great Britain. 0DR MINIATURE NAYT. The Part It Is Playing In Protecting Amerl enn Ialereats. Washington, January 22. The Ossipee has been ordered to proceed without further delay to Aspinwall for tbe protection for American interests on the Isthmus. This vessel is now at Kingston, Jamaica. She towed the steamer Haytlen Republic from Port-au-Prince to that port. Her departure for Aspinwall will leave tbe United States unrepresented by a war ves sel in Haytian waters until tbe arrival ot tbe Atlanta, which sailed from New York Sunday. Russia's Excluslveness. From tbe Washington Star. ; The latest census and year-book from Russia reveals a remarkable fact in the official state ment that out of a population of 108,000 000 but 721,878 Russians crossed the frontiers of the country going or coming. The excluslveness of China is proverbial, but considering tbe dif ferences in civilization between the two coun tries that of Russia is the most wonderful. FOLLY AS IT FLIES FEOM TUX FEN OF TUB BOSTON FOET PHILOSO PHER. DODBTXD. "Fortune knocks once at each man's door." Tills we're Inclined to doubt; Or If she ever knocked at ours We certainly were ont. HOW W.EASANT. How pleasant now to sit beside The parlor stove And press the maiden's Illy hand And talk of love. The hours swift winged unnoticed gilds, And every care has fled. Until her mother shoots downstairs, You Jane come up to bed I THE FLOOR WALTER. From Arctic regions comes the blast; The nights are bitter cold, Unhappy la the man who has A baby three months oldl Oft when the nlgbt is 1U noon And furious tempests roar. To hush the baby's walling cry He walks the bedroom floor. A cloud of gloom la on Ills brow, A sad, sad man Is he; He knows that happy bachelors Are snoring peacefully, CCRIOCS THINOS. Strange things we observe in this world without doubt The man "taken in" Is always "put out." The sober of mind Will sometimes get drunk, And oft floating: debt The merchant has sunk. And not the least strange Of things of this sort: Occasions arise When tall men are short. SnOtTLD IT BE ALLOWED? Much swearing she causes, Much comfort shemarst The woman who carries A dog In the cars. II she Is pretty we must Give our seat up to her. And our envy's aroused When she fondles the cur. Each time she caresses His rough, hairy face. How we wish for the time That we were In bis placet All from tin Boston Courftr. GREAT GOTHAM'S GOSSIP. Caught In a Small Corner. tNEW TOITE BCBEAtJ SFXCIAI.S.1 New York, January 22. Colonel Elliott F. Shepard, editor and proprietor of the Alailand Express, addressed 200 Methodist ministers an the Sunday question yesterday afternoon. He spoke for an hour and a quarter against Sun day concerts, Sunday newspapers, Sunday stages and Sunday exhibitions. He told how hard he had worked all along to suppress Sun day desecration in New York. At the con clusion of Editor Shepard's remarks, -vthich were enthusiastically applauded, the Rev. George Lansing Taylor, D. D.,' D. C. It, poet and divine, arose with much dignity and great impresslveness. Ho said he was a subscriber to the Mall and Express, and was accustomed to read tie paper every evening with great avidity and much interest "But," said the Rev. Dr. Taylor, laying great emphasis on the word. Every minister there upon straightened himself up and craned his neck to catch what was coming. "But," re peated the reverend gentleman, there Is one question that I want to ask Editor Shepard, and that is why he devotes every evening a col umn to horse racing in his paper?" This was a stunner. The ministers applauded most heartily, and shouts of "Good!" and "Hearl" and similar expressions were heard in every part of the room. The confusion lasted several minutes. Col onel Shepard was tbe picture of despair. After a dead pause ot two minutes more Colonel Shepard got up and replied that he published a sporting column in the interest of Christianity. By publishing sporting news he thought he could induce sporting men to buy his paper and read the sermons and moral editorials whicb appeared in other columns. Colonel Shepard did not make this explana tion very glibly, and when he sat down no one applauded. Colonel Shepard's address was not in his great religious daily this afternoon, although heretofore all his speeches have ap peared in it verbatim. Twas Not Mary's Own Article. It is reported that Miss Mary Anderson did not write the article over her name in tbe last North American Review. She merely signed it She is sorry because Mrs. Langtry and Mrs. Potter have been offended by its severe strictures upon society leaders who try to be come actresses in a day. The story is that Miss Anderson has explained to Mrs. Potter and Mrs. Langtry, through a common friend, that she did not write the article, but merely al loived her name to be used. She signed the ar ticle after only a hasty glance at the proofs. The sentences that have caused so much trouble Miss AndersorTunderstood to refer to stag-struck young women of social rank. Miss Anderson, if the story Is true, will probably think twice before she again lends her name to a professional writer. A Bnbe Saves a Number of Lives. Baby Williams, 6 months old, saved a whole house full of persons from being roasted alive this morning. A defective flue set fire to the house of Williams' family, shortly after mid night When the baby awoke the bedroom was full of smoke. Her eyes smarted so tbat she began to cry. The cries awoke the family, who aroused 12 other tenants. All escaped in their nightclothes. The bouse was burned down. Importing n Pauper Reporter. William O'Connor Laughlin, with his wife and four children, was detained at Castle Gar den to-day. Mr. Laughlin is a newspaper re porter of Belfast, Ireland, and had only $5 in his possession when he arrived In the Servia, yesterday. Major J. B. Pond will endeavor to have Mr. Laughlin released. Laughlin acted as Pond's agent when Henry Ward Beecher was in Ireland. Another Man Going After Stanley. Victor Beaumont, better known a3 "Wild Horse Charlie," is selling out his business in Newburgh, preparatory to going to Africa in search of Stanley. He expects to reach Suakim on the British steamship Minora, to proceed to Burba by rail, and then strike off into tbe jungle with a tew followers. He thinks he can find Stanley and get back to New York within two years. He refuses to tell who is sending him. "Wild Horse Charlie" has seen active service in the British army, and has held a commission in the navy. He was with the British troops In Asbantee, when young Prince Napoleon was killed. He is about 40 years old and wears cowboy costume. A Centenarian Lost In Harlem. George Lynch, 102 years old, got lost In Har lem yesterday. The police took bim to a sta tion bouse and advertised him this morning. At noon his son Patrick, 75 years old, called for htm. Ills Beard Cut Off by a Woman. Israel Leitsky has had Mrs. Gougb arrested for cutting off his beard. He tried to sell a pair of suspenders in her saloon this morning. She felt insulted. She caught him by the beard, and, while her husband held bim, cut it off close to tho chin. Leitsky charges her with robbery and assault She will be tried to-morrow. Through America to Jnpnn. The wife and son of Lord Napier, British Ambassador to Japan, arrived here on the steamship Servia yesterday. After a few days they will start for San Francisco, where they will take a steamship for Yokohama on Febru ary 12. No Money Could Save His Life. Max Shillak, 22 years old. ate nothing and drank wine all yesterday. Last nlgbt, on a wager, he drank two bottles of champazne In quick succession. He then fell to the floor in a stupor. The doctor who was called said he would die soon of alcoholic poisoning. The boy's father, a saloonkeeper, offered tbe doc tor $2,000 to save his son's life. At 3 o'clock this morning young Shillak died. NEW NATURALIZATION LAW. An Important Change Proposed to the Existing Requirement. Washington, January 22. Mr. Oates sub committee on Naturalization to-day reported to the Judiciary Committee of the House tho bill whicb it had prepared In lieu of all others amenuatory or tne naturalization taws, rue provisions of the bill, briefly stated, are a re quirement that an alien must reside five years in the United States before he can become a citizen; that at the exniration of that time he must appear in court and prove his residence, good moral character and fitness for citizen ship, and in the case of a United States court, notice of bH Intention mnt be served npon the representative of the United States, and likewise in the case of a State court the repre sentative of the State Government must be no tified and attend tbe hearing. The present requirement of a declaration of intention to become a citizen Is dispensed with. The bill was ordered to be printed, and will be discussed at next Saturday's session. Tbe views that were expressed this morninc an- peared to Indicate favorable disposition of the UJ bill. TJie Quick and the Dead. From the Chicago News. A Philadelphia grand jury has indicted a dead man. It is sometimes hard to tell the dif -T- ference in Philadelphia. THE WORKING W0KLD. Trra city electric lighting plant of Topeka, Kan., is burning petroleum for its steam fuel instead of coal, as heretofore. Manchester, Mo., is a booming manufact uring center, and there is a demand for good machinists there. It has a number of big in dustrial concerns, and others are constantly being established. According to the Scientific American me chanics can give steel tools a hardness like that of the diamond by plunging them when white hot into sealing wax. repeating tbe operation nntil the steel Is too cold to enter the wax. The tool should he then just touched with oil of turpentine. The leading labor organizations all over the country are making unusual endeavors this winter to seenre the passage of certain labor measures by the various State Legislatures. One of tbe things especially desired is the passage of an emplo er's liability act modeled upon tbe English law. A Cautobnta machinist who has been ex perimenting for years with a view to fin ling some means of preserv ng exposed Iron work, has discovered tbat wnen surf ices are coated with finely ground lead, thinned with spirits of turpentine no corrclve action or scaling takes place, even when heavy coats of paint are af terward put on the outside. His theory is tbat tbe thin mixture of turpentine and white lead closes the "very pores of tbe iron." Common paint mixed with oil is too thick, as "the inter stices, to so call them, are too minute to re ceive the body whicb oil gives, but are closed by a thinner compound." CUKIODS CONDENSATIONS. Contraband liquor, valued at $42,500, Is in the hands of the Sheriff at Burlington. laws. A, white weasel was killed in the cellar of the Hudson, N. Y., Opera House the other day. At HawkinsVille, Ga., a spread has just been finished in which 18,677 yards of thread were used. Owing to the failure of the rice crop in Corea the Government has prohibited the ex portation of other cereals. A stone crab was exhibited at Charlotte Jfafbr, Fla., this week, whose claw measured clinches in circumference. A block of fir wood was recently re ceived at Portland, Ore., that was cnt from a tree which was 150 feet high to the first limb. The skeleton of a mastodon has been un earthed In California. It is 30 feet lona and has tusks between six and seven feet in length. Persons who go throush the streets of Alexandria, Va,. singing or whistling after 10 o'clock at night can be arrested for disorderly conduct. The disastrous floods of the past two years in Georgia are attributed to the wholesale destruction of forests at tbe headwaters of the rivers affected. T. J. Summers, of Americas, Ga., drew something of t curiosity out of his well the other day. Jt looked like an eel. except it had four legs and web feet A Lewiston man has invented a device for stopping runaway horses. It blinds the ani mal by clapping something over bis eyes. The mechanism operates from the driver's seat People do not appear to take as much stock in lightning rods as they formerly did. There are now only three lightning rod facto ries in the country against 83 a few years ago. The Texas Census Bureau has estimated returns showing thepopulation of Texas In, January, 1S87, to have been, in round numbers 2,025,000, an Increase of 26 per cent since 18S0. In the corner-stone of the DeSoto county, Florida, Court House, the arcadians propose to store away, with ceremonies, the names of the "chronic kickers" of the county. C. R. Herr, of Stamford, N". Y., is said to be the possessor of the gold watch which Major Andre, of revolutionary fame, offered as a ransom to his captors If they would lee him go free. A gentleman of Americus, Ga., took possession of a piece of property tho other day that has been in suit for about ten years. It has gono through all of the courts, in all of which be gained it Imported tobacco now finds "a ready sale In Japan and, according to native journals, there has of lato been ome difficulty in meeting the demand. In coneqnence in some localities prices have advanced 10 per cent Fewer passenger conductors Lava been discharged from the Jlissonri Pacific road, It is said, than from any other railroad in tne West Many of the conductors in the road's service have been with it from the start. A Port Jervis, K. Y., man got clear of a charge of robbing a clothes line at Middle town, one day thi3 week, by saying he va3 pulling the clothes from the line with the in tention of making himself a bed on tbeground. The people of Portland, Ore.,are taking steps to mduce the Legislature to establish a vast park in the Cascade Mountains. It is de signed to have the park include Mount Hood and Crater Lake, which would make it a for midable rival of Yellowstone Park. A recent English investigation shows that with men over 25 years of age the intemper ate use of alcoholic beverages cuts off ten years from life. Also that occasional indulg ence, if carried to excess, doubles diseases of the liver, quadruples diseases of the kidneys, and greatly increases deaths from pneumonia, pleurisy and epilepsy. The remarkable result of a tidal wave in the province of Bannam, Java, has been a great Increase of tigers. The land laid waste soon relapsed into a jungle affording welcome cover to the tiger, which became so daring and numerous that whole villages have hid to be abandoned. Last year tigers killed no less than 61 persons there. To remedy the evil tbe Government of Java has raised the reward for killing tigers from 100 to 200jruildersa head. An original sign adorns a brick build ing in Brunswick, Ga. The first floor of the building is used for a negro restaurant the pro prietor of which announced his Intention of serving hot meals to hungry sons of Ham, by painting on one side of the sign these words: "Her Bovs is hot Meals," while on the other is: "Cominandse fo yo self." It Is presumed tbat he wanted it to read: "Here, boys, i3 hot meals; come In and see for yourselves." Eichard West, of Kingston, N. C, was out the other day with his sweetheart horse back riding, when her horse became frightened and ran at great speed. The young man spurred his horse and soon overtook her, and calling out for her to loose her foot from the stirrup, in an instant, while both horses wero running at breakneck speed, he caught her about the waist and snatched her from im minent danger. When he had stopped his horse the young lady was completely overcomo with fright A gentleman who lives near Albany, Ga., had not received his paper regularly. The gentleman WTote to the editor of the paper complaining, and received in reply a letter say ing that Uncle Sam had been enjoying Christ mas, and probably that accounted for the Ir regularity of the mail. The letter was read to the postmaster at the place where the com- glalnant lived, who, as It happened, was named am, and as he was quite old was sometimes called Uncle Sam. When the letter had hen finished the postmaster, with tears springing to his eyes, said: "Yes, I had been dnnkine: the day that man was here, and he smelled it on me; I know he did. and he's a preacher, too. . I wouldn't have that happen for anything." This was a clear case of mistaken identity. A man in Ansonia, Ct, owns and lives in a house that overlooks a large clock. Un fortunately, however, the man thinks hn can not see the clock from his chamber window, as a brick chimney intervenes. To obviate this and have the pleasure of looking to see tho time of day or night while In bed (for the clock has an Illuminated dial), he one day bored a hole through tbe walls of his bedroom, close to tbe bead of his bed, inserted a piece of two inch gas pipe with a glass in the outer end, and now all he has to do is to place his eye at tbe inner opening and he has a foens upon the clock without leaving his bed. His friends asked him, when this was completed, why ha did not have a clock in his room, instead of be ing to so much trouble. And for the first tima it dawned upon bim that it would have been as well. FUNNY MEVS FANCIES. ODEITT OP THE SEASON. It must seem strange, whene'er it snows. To the man who motion lacks; It matters not how slow he goes, He cannot help make tracks. Judgs. The Still Sow Gets the Draff. Friend Don't yonr boys worry yon with their noise? Patient Mother A Utile, but then von know when they aie making a noise they aren't in mis chief. Uoston Courier. Found Him Out Smith I've be" studying Jones ror a long time, but I've found bim oat at last. Brown How did yon find him ont? S. 1 went to his house to collect a bill he owes me, and found him aax. Boston Courier. True Enoph. Young Husband Flour, I see, is arolng up again. Young Wire Nevermind, George, we need not buy It We can buy baker's bread, instead. Be side, It saves the trouble of baking. Boston Courier. A Question of Form. Yallerby Hnh ( I kaln't see, lloie Johnslng, why yo' wear a striped shirt at dls time o' year. Taln't good fawm. Johnson Good fawm! What ran a nlggah know about good fawm who has to wear meal-bag trousers 'cause he kaln't get bis feet through any others? Judge. The Mother's Joke. Mother I would not put too much faith In Miss l'ert, John. Son Why not? She's all rlght. SI.-Don't you think she's a little flighty, apt to change, like a weathercock? S. No. What makes you think she's Ilka a weathercock? It Because she's a little vain. Boston Courier. LIKE AND UNLIKE SCOAE. Two things that average sugar bas a heroine should command. Namely a sweet and melting way and also lots of sand. And, having these. 'Us safe to bet that, on the other hand. On such a heroine there wUl be no flies, yon un derstand. -Hit City Blizzard. Rather Durable. Carpet-dealer Yes, madame; that's a tine stair carpet, ana very dura ble. Woman Will It last weU? Carpet-dealer Madame. 14 years ago 1 sold that carpet to a woman and she nsed It 10 years steady. Woman Then did she throw it away? Carpt-dealer No, Madam. I should lav not. gorthe last four years her boy has worn It tit. everyoay pants. juag .