Newspaper Page Text
ll l It V i $ $ I f6 Ije BiMqj. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY ISM. VoL , No. 355. Entered at nttsbnnr Post. ofice, oTciabtrH. IssT, as ti-cuna-ciass matter. Business Office 97 and99 Fifth Avenue. News Booms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 70 Diamond Street. This pnper having more than Doable the rircalntion of any other in ilio State outride orVhiladrlphla, Its advantages as an adver tisinc medium will be apparent. TEIUIS OF THE DlsrATCIL rofTAGE rr.EE cj Tnit united states. IUilt Dispatch. One Year 1 SCO Daily Dispatch, Per Quarter loo Daily Dispatch. One Month " Daily Dispatch, including Sunday, one Tear 1000 Daily Dispatch, Including fcunday, per quarter -50 Daily Dispatch, including &unday. ona roanth...i. TO EtWDAY DisrATcn, one rear. 150 Weekly Disfatch, one year 1 25 The Daily Dispatch Is delivered by carriers at 15 cents per wecl orlncludinictliesundaj edition, at 21 cents per week. Voluntary contributors ihould keep copies of articles. Jf compensation is desired the price expected must be named. The courtesy of re turning rejected manuscripts will be extended when stamps for that purpose are enclosed, but the Editor of The Dispatch will under no circumstances be responsible for the care of un solicited manuscripts. PITTSBURG, SUNDAY. JAN. 27. 1SS9. THE HIGH HAND. The German Consul at Samoa has a long story to tell of the late unpleasantness in those parts, the burden of which is that an American journalist named Klein, at the head of a party of "rebels," made all the mischief. This may do to hold the atten tion with until the facts are officially certi fied. But it is not forgotten that German methods in Samoa had been a subject of complaint long before the recent episode; and that those who are now termed "rebels" are only so because of the foreign intrigue and meddling in the local government, which npsct the rightful ruler. That German methods of extending co lonial interests are fruitful ol broils and agitation is shown by the difficulties at Zanzibar, which are as grave as those at Samoa. The constant irritation between the British and German govcrnmentsoncolonial matters proceeds from the same source. The servants of arbitrary masters are themselves likely to show their masters' temper when away from the restraining eye. That is, no doubt, about the sum of the trou ble both at Zanzibar and Samoa. A JUEY PUZZLE. Previous experiences of the difficulty of getting a jury to try celebrated cases, seem to be surpassed by the trouble which they are having over the jury for the new Cleary trial in New York. This naturally results, not only from the fact that the case has already attracted public attention by its previous trial, but from the utterly irrecon cilable positions taken with regard to the qualifications of jurors. One side claims that a juror who knows nothing about a case of such notoriety is not fit to try the case. The other side claims that a juror -who does know anything about it, whether his opinion could be changed by evidence or not, shall not sit, and the Court seems to indorse that position. There is certainly much ground for the claim that a juror who has formed no opinion about a case of such public noto riety, is in this age of progress fit for lew functions outside of an idiot asylum. But the old theories of law seem to have at least some strength left when we learn that a juror was rejected by the Court because he said that he had an opinion that could be changed by evidence. If jurors who know about the case are in eligible, and those who do not know about it are likewise ineligible,it is likelythat the final composition of the Cleary jury will be of the fearful and wonderful kind, that can surpass even a Pittsburg jury. FATAL EHH0BS. The renewal of the labor troubles in Brooklyn and Buffalo is accompanied by one or two features that call forth the old warning to labor organizations that they must not place themselves in antagonism to the law. In Brooklyn it is reported that the strikers have barricaded the streets and assaulted non-union men who talked of go ing to work. In Buffalo it is asserted on behalf of the striking switchmen that they will not send out trains themselves or allow anyone else to send them out. Such a position, no matter how just the object of the strike may be, is not permissible, be cause it defies the law and makes the men committing such acts enemies of the whole people. Kb class really needs to have the laws respected and upheld more than the working class, and when hotheads take il legal steps the sober and conservative men should be on the outlook to prevent or cor rect such fatal errors. A REPUBLIC HT DAHGEB. To-day Monsieur Boulanger, the "brave General," whose part in French politics has not been without opera-bouffe suggestions, makes the final throw of the dice. He stakes his future on the suffrages of Parisian voters. Paris is still France as much as ever it was. Though Boulanger won sur prising victories among the Northern French constituencies last summer, it is the voice of the capital which will make him a virtual dictator, or relegate him to an obscurity from which he can hardly again emerge. General Boulanger is a candidate with out any specific policy, unless the con spicuous purpose of "turning the rascals out" be accepted in such light. He is a military figure; was picturesque when active in the army and at the war department; and has been loquacious ever since in abusing the French statesmen who are run sing the Government. This has reinforced his personal following by the discontented of all shades of politics, including largely the royalists, the Bonapartists, the clericals, and others who do not like President Carnot or his Ministers. A good many, probably the most numer ous part, of those who support Boulanger make light of his abilities, and follow his standard, solely in the hope that if the re public fall their own faction will come up permost After his duel with Minister Floqnet in July, when the old civilian wounded and disarmed him, he was merci lessly ridiculed, and it was thought his pub lic career was ended. But the causes of his success are other than in himself. The possibilities pf his future were never more threatening than to-day, as his election by Parisian votes would almost surely mean a change of government The Parisian shop-keepers and trades men are, however, a conservative class. They will be slow to vote for Boulanger in the dark as to the changes in store for them. Also, the artisan and working classes, whose support is counted upon by Boulanger, will be apt to think twice before kicking over the republic to make room for this or that ambitious scion of royalty whose only claim of fitness for ruling is that some of his an cestors were in the King business, and failed at it But whatever the outcome, the voting in Pans to-day will be watched with keen interest the world over, as it is iclt that with Boulanger's success a crisis would come of grave import to the peace of Europe. A HUM0E0US CONTENTION. Prof. Brycc has written too kindly and appreciatively of this country in his book, "The American Commonwealth," to please his countrymen in England. Of course he told the truth when he remarked that Amer icans are essentially a humorous people and that they are the chief purveyors of humor in this century; but one can easily under stand tbat such statements of fact are un palatable to a people who pin their faith to the decayed ana effete clowning of PuncA. Still it is a strange thing to find such an intelligent and entertaining paper as the London Globe hammering Prof. Bryce for perceiving that humor is most at home to day in America. The Globe evidently is not disposed to underestimate the importance of humor as a national possession. In two columns it undertakes to prove that Americans are not humorous and that Englishmen un doubtedly are. The Globe constructs a list of representative English humorists, naming the authors of "Vanity Fair," "Pickwick," "Essays of Elia," "Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures," "Alice in "Wonderland," "Vice Versa," "Happy Thoughts," the "Bab Bal lads," "The Jumblies," and asks who the Americans have got to put against them. Like a wise philosopher the Globe answers its own question. "Jokes are undoubtedly made in the States as they are in other countries," the Globe condescendingly admits. "Humor there certainly is among that great and free people mostly bad humor," and then our cotemporary appends a list of American humorists, which does not contain the names of Lewis. Kobert Burdette, Bill 2Jye, and seveial other noted writers in this category, but does include Max Adeler and George W. Peck. Taking such premises as these the Globe naturally does not encounter as great difficulty in demonstrating the superi ority of English humorists as it would if all the facts were stated. But it does not need many words to de stroy the effect of the Globe's comparisons. Of the writers mentioned as England's knights of humor, Thackeray, Dickens, Charles Lamb and Douglas Jerrold are dead and their works belong to a period from thiity to sixty years ago. In the list of American humorists only one is not still contributing to the literature of the nation. And this reminds us that what Professor Bryce undoubtedly referred to when he asserted the pre-eminence of American humor, was the literature of the world in this day. Still we are willing to admit that the contention of the Globe is in itself a pretty specimen of British humor. In fact, we consider it superior to the deadly "Happy Thoughts" of F. C. Burnand, which the Globe assures us is a representative product of the English humorist. THE TALK ABOUT STANLEY. There is a good deal of unneces sary talk about the mystery of Stanley's appearance and disappearance on the upper Congo, which, accompanied as they are by hints that there is some crookedness in his connection with the English Government, appears to be mainly the product of envious imaginations. "What crookedness the ex plorer could perpetrate to the advantage of any government in the isolation of the Equa torial Province, is not stated. If he did in tend to secure some profit by bringing Emin's stores of ivory to the Congo, it would be no more than a legitimate reward for the enterprise which fitted out his expe dition and opened a hitherto unknown route from the Congo to "Wadelai. If he should accomplish the more improbable feat of capturing Khartoum and opening up the Nile, it would be an achievement which all civilization should praise. Either of these purposes is unlikely; but the condition of things renders it foolish to talk of any advantages which an explorer can secure by his work, as "crookedness." The fact is that Stanley's purpose is clear and his record furnishes a lull answer to all such talk. He went to to Wadelai to re lieve Emin Bey, to supply him with stores it his position there is tenable, and to bring him away if it is not His return to the Congo for the stores with which Bartclotte was to have followed, and without Emin Bey, shows that in their opinion, the foot hold of civilization at "Wadelai could be maintained. They may be mistaken; but their judgment is better than that of those who criticise them in the ease of European and American offices. The record of what Stanley has done is also a clear answer to the hints of mysterious and illicit purposes. He found Living stone, explored the Nvanzas, discovered the Congo, and founded the Free State for the benefit of the whole world. Envious peo ple have circulated discreditable talk during his absence on other expeditions, as they do now, but the world will remember what he has done, as a firm ground lor confidence in what he is doing. TESHIT0EY NOT WANTED. It is suggested by the Buffalo Courier that the Samoan Islands are not worth getting into a dispute over, being only nine vol canic islets, the biggest of which is but twenty by forty miles in extent, with less than 60,000 savage population and no trade worth mentioning. This is quite true; and it might be further remarked that if Samoa was a continent as big as Australia, it would not be worth a war to the United States. "We do not want any foreign terri tory at any price. But it may be worth while for us to do some fighting to enforce the rights of our citizens in foreign parts and the respect due our flag. Our main in terest at Samoa is a coaling station; but if it were only a watering trough the principle would be the same. "We do not need terri tory; but we do want fair treatment from other powers; and it is getting about time to let them know it INVESTMENT AND SPECULATION. In a very interesting article, from a spe cial contributor, in this issue on some new forus of building associations, the assertion will be found that "in a certain sense," "the day laborer who buys a $500 building lot In the suburbs, or the average toiler who invests in a building association," are, like the stock speculators or buyers of staples for a rise, "speculators, playing their cards in a more, or less intelligent fashion for an en hancement of values." The statement has, in the form in which it is pat, sufficient foundation to establish its truth; and yet it presents two widely separ ate business methods as if they stood on the same basis. If the laborer buys his lot sole ly for the purpose of selling it again, when real estate is on the boom, or the toiler in- vests in a building association exclusively with the object of unloading his shares when they are at a premium, they are en gaging in speculation of a more conserva tive kind, perhaps, but still of the same es sential character as the plunger in stocks or grain. But in the vast majority of such cases the expectation of enhancement is not the only other chief motive. The laborer buys the lot that he may improve it by building on it, and enjoy the income from the increased value he has given it by his labor. The investor in a building associa tion puts his money in for the legitimate purpose of borrowing or lending money to be used in like creations of actual value. Throughout the whole field of legitimate operations, the effort is to increase the value of the staple handled. In speculation the effort is to obtain the benefit of an increase in value which comes with no effort on the speculator's part. The distinction is an important one; al though it is not a vital point in the valuable contribution to which we refer. But in these days it is well worth while to make as prominent as possible the essential differ ence between the forms of business gambling and the legitimate efforts of industry, fru gality and enterprise to create new values instead of waiting for others to create them. The report that the New York authorities have resolved to restrain the high-kicking features of the French ball maybe expected to evoke a protest against trenching on the vested interests of terpsichorean intoxica tion. Tiie surprise with which a verdict of murder in the first degree in the Demmy case is received may be principally based on the slight ground for expectation that an Allegheny county jury would ever find a murderer guilty in a degree that would hang him. It must be said that a good many men have escaped hanging in this county whose crime was more wanton than that of yesterday's convict Colon el Dudley's backwardness about coming forward in those New York libel suits is a floater that indicates that the tide of affairs is not carrying that able poli tician's fortunes into the sunlight of open court If the Grangers would urge a legislative inquiry into the methods by which the rail roads prevent the consumer from receiving the full advantage from the increased meat supply, they would accomplish more good than they can by efforts to overcome the Na tional Constitution and prevent the people of this State from buying the products of other States. Busioes that Blaine will be in the Cabi net are heard again. They maybe as valuable as all their predecessors; but it is safe to pre dict that if they are true it means that some thing will be heard to drop in the vicinity of Samoa. " It is related from "Washington, that by means of betting the cigars with Bepre sentative O'Neill and others, the motion to set apart a day for the Oklahoma bill, was carried. The cigars paid in consideration of the votes are alleged to cost two-for-a-quarter, which is considerably more than the value of the votes. The Northwest is sending out another blizzard for the benefit of the rest of the country, and may have hopes of a little real winter and something of an ice crop. In view of the fact that an American newspaper man is said to have given Ger many its check in the process of gobbling Samoa, it may yet become an object of news paper ambition to organize a naval force and take possession, just as a jourAlistio beat on Bismarck. The ambitious views of landlords with regard to rentals for the next year will prob ably stimulate the building boom more than the owners' bank accounts. Secretary "Whitney's deliverance on the Samoan question conveys a very de cided intimation to the effect that when the State Department finds out what the policy of the Government is the Navy Department may be able to estimate what it has got to do. Balfoub appears to be on the point of success in his great policy of consolidating the Tory vote in England by driving Ireland into open rebellion. The railroad Presidents met again last week and swore off from rate-cntting. They are beating the ordinary January 1 swear' ers-off this year, by starting in with prom ises to reform, and keeping right along making new promises every week ia the year. The decided policy of Bismarok with re gard to Samoa is balanced by the decided lack of policy on the part of the United States Government The promise of a leading anthracite coal company that it will graciously take into consideration the novel idea of charging the miners something less than two prices for the powder used in the mines is a fresh evi dence that the world does occasionally more. PERSONAL POINTS. Joseph Chamberlain says that the home rule question is losing its importance. Perhaps he will not think so after he has been married longer. At a dinner givenln Washington last week by Senator Stanford to 16 of his intimate friends, the guests were served with hothouse strawberries which cost S3 a dozen. Lord Sackvtlle, who is now at Cannes, will soon issue a manifesto on French politics. There are those who sy he is just the man to succeed Prince Ferdinand as ruler of Bulgaria. Sib Arthur Sullivan, when a choir boy of the Chapel Royal, composed an antbem, and it so pleased the Bishop of London that he gave the little author a half sovereign. This coin, it is said, Mr. Sullivan wears around his neck as a talisman while composing, till this day. The Secretary of the Economic Association of America, Prof. B. T. Ely. of Baltimore, Md., is in receipt of $100 from Mrs. Amelie Rlves Chanler. a sum which she obtained for two son nets. The money is to be offered as a prize for tbe best essay, not exceeding 25,000 words, on child labor. Isaac Holden, member of Parliament for one of the Yorkshire divisions, who was a poor schoolmaster in his youth, is now ranked as the wealthiest man in the Commons. His income from patent rights for inventions by which he revolutionized wool carding, together with his mill interests, is placed at Jl.000,000 a year. The United S ates Senate is to have a new Apollo. His name is James McMillan, and he will succeed Thomas W. Palmer, of Michigan. Mr. McMillan is tall and slender, hascurly gray hair and impressive mustache and goatee. His eyes are bright but their effect is somewhat modified by spectacles. He is very particular about bis dress, and is something of an Anglo maniac as regards his attire. SenatorHiscock, who considers himself the most presentable man in the Senate, will find in McMillan a foe man worthy of his imposing beauty. The Two Sides of tbe rsnmoon Question. From the Philadelphia Times. There are two sides to every question. When Bismarck is interested both sides are Bismarck's. Oor legislators Are Improving Slntton as n Poison A Waiter's Trick and a Dog's Snenclty. "The best-posted authorities assure me, and my own eyes confirm the conclusion, that the members of the Legislature now sitting at Harrisburg are more of a temperance crowd than usual," said a legislator to me yesterday. "Russ" business falling off T" I asked. "No, hardly. There aro enough drinkers in the Lezislature and among the lobbyists and hangers on, to say nothing of the H&rrisburg contingent of native talent to keep up a very fair sized demand for the liquids tbat do in toxicate. A few of the younger members, new to Harrisburg, ought to have a care how tbey proceed in putting down the whisky of High Spire, but they will learn wisdom as they grow older in tne service of the State." Taking this and other facts which I learned from the same authority, the Legislature, as far as the personal behavior of its members is con cerned, is an improvement on most of its pre decessors. V "Ose of my patients," said a Pittsburg phy sician to me yesterday, "puzzles mo consider' ably. Every now and then be comes to me, or sends for me, and exhibits a very sorry con dition of health. Upon inquiry I always find that he has been seized with acute nausea and with violent symptoms of poisoning, immedi ately after eating mutton in some sbape. At first I was loth to believe that the mutton was the real cause, but after a thorough investiga tion of all the circumstances I have been forced to conclude that the flesh of the sheep acts upon this man's system as 'poison. My patient himself has come to a similar conclusion, and although ho likes mutton, he has promised me not to touch it again. The last time he ate some mutton chops he was in a really critical condition for several hours after the meal." "Veal is poisonous to somo people, isn't it doctor?" "Yes to many, and I might almost say to moat people," the doctor replied, "and I con stantly find men and oftener women who per sist in eating veal although they know tbey will surely suffer for it" I know a man who, if he desired to commit suicide in a discreet and retiring way, could achieve his object by eating say half a dozen buckwheat cakes. He is aware of his peril, however, in this direction, as even the odor of buckwheat cakes is sufficient to compel him to leave the breakfast table. In a restaurant which enjoys the patronage of many notable Pittsburgers I noticed a neat trick played by a waiter yesterday. A certain wealthy financier who takes his frugal lnnch at this establishment has kept up his reputa tion for looking sharply after the pennies by never, on any occasion, tipping a waiter. The waiters have observed this, and do not thrust their services upon the great man. Yesterday when this individual came into the dining room he approached a table near me, and the waiter who was hovering near, quietly stepped forward and tipped up all the chairs which signified that the table was engaged. The great man elevated his brows, but he had to move to another part of the room. Then the waiter, as quietly as before, set down all the chairs again. V Many years ago a distinguished woman in this community, who happily still lives to grace it, playfully agreed with a friend of hers of the opposite sex to rest upon the conresslon of the lapse of 40 years of her life if he would do the same. This was 0 years ago. Since then reg ularly as ber birthday has come around the gentleman, whose birthday was on the same day, has called upon her and they have ex changed congratulations. "When this natal day was colebrated recently she said: "David, are we not getting rather old to acknowledge but 40 years I" "Yes," he confessed, mournfully shaking a head touched with the silver rime of GO years, "I think we are." "Let us increase the record, then." "Certainly. How old shall we admit our selves to be?" "Well let us make it 411" And all of yon would join me, I know, if you knew ber, in hoping that the record may stand at 41 till another score of years has gone by. V Hebe is another tribute to the sagacity or reasoning powers of our canine friends. A newspaper man, of this city, has just had a system of electric bells put In his house, more particularly for the purpose of making com munication between his bedroom and the lower regions of his abode, of course easy. Being a night worker, he finds it convenient to be able to announce to bis wife his awakening at midday. He owns an obese, but intelligent and loving poodle, who will be taxed 2 for being, as our Harrisburg correspondent put it the other day, "a lady." She was present when the wires for the electric bells were put up, and appeared to take considerable interest in the operation. Two days after the bells had been Bet up the editor awoke at noon and rang what he calls the "breakfast alarm."' His wife happened to be out of the house at the time, but the bell had hardly ceased ringing when Flossie, the poodle, was heard upon the stairs. She ran up without a moment's hesitation and bounded Into the master's room where she never goes when he is asleep and saluted him with a round of cheery barks. Hepburn Johns. TWO ELECTORAL TRIPS. Tbe Formal Certlficnte Was Not Daly Signed the First Time. Montgoiiert, Ala., January 26. F. C. Meredith, the messenger selected to take Ala bama's electoral vote to Washington, returned this morning. Mr. Ingalls, President pro tern of the Senate, received the certificate from him, but declined to receipt for it because he did not have a certificate of his appointment as messenger, though in the certificate received by him, it was stated that Mr. Meredith was tbe messenger. Mr. Meredith telegraphed Governor Seay, and the electors were summoned to Montgom ery this morning. They met and signed an ad ditional certificate that Mr, Meredith had been chosen messenger, and he left for Washington again at noon to-day. PANIC IN A THEATER. The Cry of Fire Causes Some Wild and Ex citing Scenes. 8t. Louis, January 26. A score of wild ex citement occurred at tbe Olympic Theater this afternoon. Near the end of the first act of the opera "Erminie" a small fire was noticed, and all at once the great audience became panic stricken. Then some one cried "fire," and for a time it looked as though there must be loss of life, as the audience was composed princi pally of ladles and cbildren. Women fainted, others went into hysterics and it was with great difficulty that the few men present restored order. No casualties are reported. A MUNICIPAL ELECTION. Difference of Opinion as to the Term of Hnrrlsbnrg's Executive. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Harrisburg, January 26 Tho Harrisburg Republican City Executive Committee to-night decided to hold their convention to nominate a candidato for Mayor on the 11th of next month. Mayor Fntchey, Democrat who was chosen nearly two years ago by a large majority, claims tbat he was elected for four years, but the Re publicans hold that he cannot legally serve more than two years. Tbe Democrats have not yet determined their line of action. There Stands a City. From the New Haven News. 1 Like to a city of tbe dead. As noiseless and as still, Upon the banks of Delaware Stands Wanamakerville. As Keely's motor never motes, So never runs the thrill Of busy life alone the streets Of Wanamakerville. The machinery Out of Date. From the Mew York 'World.! The Presldental election does not seem to be over.after all. The messengers bearing the electoral-vote certificates of several States have not yet arrived in Washington, and if they do not put in an appearance by Monday some curi ous complications may arise. All of which shows up the ridiculousness of the cumber some old machinery of the Electoral College. Dissipation In Iowa. From the Chicago News.l A 70-year-old Iowa man broke both his legs while tobogganing. People in prohibition States frequently become addicted to very odd I kinds of dissipation. J The Man Who Deposited Gold Washings Long Ago Satisfactorily Identified. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Wheeling, January 28. Mr. Alexander Squires, who has been so much talked about in the Eastern papers, will get bis $2,201 in gold. He came from Philadelphia to Wheeling, readily found the one man, Henry Jackson Wade, who could identify bim after the lapse of 23 years, and will go back to the United States mint in triumph and reclaim the deposit ol gold washings he left there In 183a. Mr. Wade has lived In Wheeling since 1838, and worked with Squires in the city at the Cooper trade until the discovery of gold in Cal ifornia, when Squires went there to seek his fortune. Mr. Wade identified Squlre3 at once, although he bad not seen him since 1855, when he stopped here on his way from Philadelphia to California and told him he bad left somo gold at the mint and showed him the) certifi cate which Is now ineligible from age. The books of the mint, it will be remembered, show that such a deposit was made by Alexander Squires; but as the certificate could not bo read the authorities at the mint required tbat the claimant should be identified. The claim ant of the gold and bis old friend went before United States Commissioner Forbes, and Mr. Wade made affidavits to tho statements quoted above, and others, that leave no possible doubt or Squires' identity. The Government demands. Id addition to this testimony, that Squires shall give an indemni fying bond to rover the amount if another claimant should establish his right to the amount hereafter. He can readily do this, as he is well fixed financially. When Mr. Squires learned that he would have to be identified be fore he could recover the money, he came right to Wheeling to hunt up his old friend Wade. He learned where he lived, and, knocking at the door of 62 Zane street, was answered by Mr. Wade himself. Turning bis face aside to avoid the light Squires asked: "Docs a man named Wade live here?" "Ah, you old coon." was Wade's response, "you can't fool me; you're Alex Squires." A END TO SCALPING. Western Rnllronds Think They Have the Matter All Arranged. Chicago, January 26. The general man agers and general passenger agents of the Western, Northwestern and Southwestern rail roads have agreed on a plan which. If they live up to, will make It impossible for the ticket brokers to do any business to speak of. It was perfected at a meeting held here to-day, at which 20 of the 21 roads in interest were repre sented. The one unrepresented, the Chicago, Burlington and Northern, is known to be in accord with the agreement A new form of mileage tickets was (adopted and unused portions of round trip or through tickets will be redeemable at railroad ticket offices. The mlleaee tickets adopted lacks but little of a photograph of the buyer. Height, weight age, color of hair and eyes, beard and any peculiarities are plainly marked in the book. The buyer must sign his name in the presence of the agent and every time he uses the mileage book be must duplicate his signa ture for the benefit of the conductor. Should he not be able to do so, or should he have changed the out of his beard or perchance dyed it, he must pay his fare and lose his book. The provision relative to the cashing of un used portions of the ticket does away finally with any chance for what is called legitimate scalping. Should a passenger buy a ticket from New York to Kansas city and conclude not to go further than Chicago, he can, without going out of the depot cash the unused part of his ticket at its full value. Hitherto the pas senger has been compelled to sell the unused portion of his ticket for what a scalper was willing to give. SHIPWRECKED MARINERS Tell a Story of a Thrilling Experience on the Ocean. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Washington, January 26. Two young men, A. E. Brown and George Dillon, arrived in the city this morning, after a thrilling experience on the ocean. They left Baltimore several days ago on the steamer Erin for Jamaica, were wrecked off Cape Hatteras. and came on to Washington to take the cars for Tampa, Fla., to continue their journey from that point by steamer. They tell the following story of their adventure: We arrived off Cape Hatteras about dark on Saturday, when something was found out of order with the machinery. We anchored, but on Sunday cot under way again. During the day the second mate fell overboard while try ing to hoist the ensign. The flag staff went with bim. It was over an hour before we Sicked bim up nearly dead from exposure, nnday night during a heavy storm the pro peller shaft broke, and in a little time the water came pouring in tbrongh the shaft hole. The pumps were manned, but the steamer filled rapidly. Several vessels passed us, but were unable to render assistance. About noon Monday the steamer Liscard, Captain Thomas uyrne, unariesion to rsremen, sighted our distress signal, bore down and we took to the boats and with great difficulty got on board her. There was eight feet of water in her hold then, and probably the Erin did not last much longer. It was a narrow escape tor us. The Liscard took us into Newport News, and we came here. Our baggage was rescued, con siderably worse for water. Extremes Meet Lies.l Evan Qwynne, a Welshman and a plumber, who had become discouraged by bad business, committed suicide by hanging himself by a hook in the ceiling of his shop at Hudson and Canal streets last night Evening World. Henry Hlbbertson, an ice man, whe runs four wagons on the product of his ponds near Flushing, Long Island, celebrated the wedding of his daughter with Mr. Georgo Martin, tbe manager of his business, yesterday by present ing the happy pair witb a handsome residence in Brooklyn and 820,000 in New York City bonds. Mrs. Martin, who is an only child, will he heiress to over 500,000. The Star. Discordant Knights of Lnbor. Special Teleeram to the Dispatch. Harrisburg. January 26. Tho Harrisburg Knights of Labor disapprove of the project to have a committee before tho Legislature to look after the interests of the laboring men, and consequently they will have no representa tives at the convention of Knights to be held tnis ween. COLONEL CRfESUS. Have you heard of Colonel Crcesns? Whatl you haven't? Gaze on high. Do yon see tbat comet blazing in the vast financial sky? Note its size and note Its splendor, and the glory of its tail By its side all stars and planets stop their twinkle and turn pale. There are people still in Asia who bow down before the sun, And the moon of many races has ere now their homage won; But tbe idol of the moment Is the comet of the day It's to blazing Colonel Crresus tbat no end of peo ple pray. When his housemaid In the morning goes to shake the mat outside. There are crowds of people waiting, and the mob spreads far and wide; They are waiting for the Colonel, and they jostle, push and try To get near enough to touch him or to catch his kinfllyeye. Statesman, poet author, actor, artist merchant and divine. All in humble adoration come to worship at hl shrine; And their cheeks are flushed with gladness, and there's triumph In their eyes. If he gives them an allotment In his latest enter prise. He's a heart beneath the waistcoat that enfolds his spacious chest. And a hand tbat scatters bounty north and south and east and west; No one asks in vain a favor in his easy-going way -Q He will scatter golden chances 'mong the sup- pllant3 every day. Here's health to Colonel Croesus bluff, big hearted millionaire Who's content his princely fortune with his fol lowers to share. lint he must be getting tired of the crowds that daily come, Greedy Lazaruses waiting at his table for a crumb. He has given them High KIckeys and Alpacas, and the rest. And has told them when in Dayrates they with profit can Invest. He has flung the crowd bis favors, and has loaded all his friends, And they now might leave him quiet Just to make some slight amends. To be pestered and surrounded, morning, after noon and night May not seem to Colonel Crcesns a perpetual de light; And I shouldn't be astonished If one morning he should say, "O, here hang it you're a nuisance! Do, con found you, go awayl" O. JZ. Sims in London Seferte. COBBIDOR CRUMBS. The American Flag In tbe Halls of tbe IegisIatare A Law to Blake Veterans Happy Ventilation Needed and Commit tee Booms Wanted Trying to Find Matthew Stanley Qony. TFBOM A STAFF COKBXSPOXDXXT.l Harrisburg, January 28. When the Junior Order of United American Mechanics per mitted themselves to become angered by lan guage ascribed to Captain Dravo. they laid tbe foundation for a great deal of political rancor and other things too numerous to mention. The House has permitted itself to become all stirred up and to take sides with the members from Beaver. The Junior Order is inpollticsfor the time at least and promises to make itself a closer acquaintance, if not a friend, of the majority of tho members. The differences between the Beaver county members on the subject have been touched on in their various lights and shades by the active gentlemen of the press, nntil tho subject is a familiar one, if not perfectly clear to all. Can- tain Brown's bill was framed by the American Mechanics after tney had read tbe interview with Captain Dravo and was introduced at their request It has passed second reading and from the fact tbat Captain Dravo's bill was killed on second reading it has been supposed Captain Brown's bill would meet the same fate on third reading. Bat it may be given another life after all, if latest reports are credited, and sent to the dignified Senators, to be dealt with by them in their usual cool and unimpassioned way. The veterans' bill Is yet to come up for third reading and final passage, and many who would like to vote against it do not dare to do so. This bill fixes a fine not' to exceed 500 and im prisonment not to exceed six months as tbe ex- treme penalty to be suffered by any State official who does not give a veteran preference for employment above all other applicants. The gentlemen who have visited Harrisburg in tbo interest of the veterans say they want this or nothing, unless it is something more. They would accept for instance, an amendment to the bill extending its application to the officials of all cities as well as State officials. Between Uncle Sam's pensions and the State's kindness in this line, if the bill should become a law, the old soldier's lot will not be so deplorable as it might be. The professional soldier, who fights tbe war over with bis vocal organs, will cer tally not suffor if the measure passes. Another measure of interest to the survi vors of the late unpleasantness is the one affix ing penalties for the use of tbe various buttons and badges of tbe G. A. It.. Loyal Legion and Union Veterans' Association by those who are not entitled by the rules of these organizations to assume them. As originally presented the bill did not include the last named organiza tion, but its friends were quick to note the omission, and had it fixed before the bill left the committee room. This is one of the meas ures that meets with no opposition on any hand. What the House of Representatives at Har risburg needs as much as anything else is ventilation. The Housa side of the capitol is not as much for style as the gorgeous Senator ial chamber, and there are more people in it breathing the atmosphere, which Alters in all too slowly and escapes in tbe same way. This is why the Representatives suffer from colds and kindred Ills, and probably lets in light on the question of why it is necessary to make things livelier in the lower branch of the Leg islature if business is to be done with a quorum. If the house is deficient in ventilation it is not less so in committee rooms and many other things that would add to the comfort and con venience of the members. The Judiciary Gen eral Committee meets In a corner of the Public Library, where Its privacy is very much im posed upon and its deliberations necessarily interrupted in a variety of ways, all annoying and not all of an interesting character. The City Passenger Railway Committee is forced to wait in patience, while the Committee on Banking considers weighty matters in the pri vate office of the Chief Clerk. Other commit tees have similar experiences and the public business is thereby not facilitated to an alarm ing extent These things argue strongly in favor of calling a halt on the rapidly growing sinking fund and putting some money into new capitol buildings. They are needed, not so much for style as for use. Senator Quay's counterpart, save that he boasts a little more physical weight, is Mr. Lytle, the member from Huntingdon. It is said that he has frequently been accosted for Quay by people who are not on sufficiently inti mate terms with the junior Senatorfrom Penn sylvania to be thoroughly acquainted with his personal appearance and characteristics. Fame, it seems, is not to have your address known by cabmen. A member of the Legisla ture was missing from his seat In the House for a couple of days before Senator Quay left Washington for Florida. The Keystone legis lator bad gone to the national capital to confer with Mr. Quay before his departure, and on arriving at the depot called a cabman and asked to be driven to the Senator's residence, naturally supposing tbat the rnsh of visitors to the influential National Chairman had made his street and nuraDor one of the things the backmen of Washington drove to by day and dreamed of by night Bnt such proved not to be the case, and diligent inquiry was necessary to locate the home of one of the biggest men of the nation. The American flag excitoment of the week called to the mind of ex-Speaker Graham the joy he experienced while once sojourning in Italy on unexpectedly beholding after several months absence from home, tbe colors of his native land displayed on a vessel in an Adriatic port "My eyes filled with tears," be said, "and I involuntarily exclaimed: God bless the Amer ican flagl" '1 have had a similar experience," remarked Chairman Dearden, of the Appropriations Committee. "It does one good to see the old banner when far from home." Simpson. DEIYEN OUT BI GHOSTS. i Uneasy Spirits Greatly Annoy tbe Family of na Ohio Farmer. Mtllersburg, O., January 20. Tho neigh borhood about Sharp's mill, in Killbuck town ship, am somewhat disturbed over spiritual manifestations that are reported to be going on almost nightly in a dwelling occupied by Ransom Shilts and family. The site of tbe present dwelling was occupied about 12 years ago by a small log house, in which a man named Heilman, an honest, hard-working German, his wife and six or seven children resided. In all such cases of supposed spirit visitations there is connected a supposed origin, and this one is no exception, and this supposed origin is the fact that in the fall of 1877, after Mr. Heilman threshed bis grain, in the absence of a granary be stored his wheat and oats upstairs in his log- UUIUC, uuctUj uici bUD luuiu nuciD uo A11U Ills wife and three of his children slept One night shortly after storing tbe grain and they were sleeping, the logs in tbe house spread apart by the weight and pressure of the heavy load, letting the joists, floor and all the grain down on the sleepers, almost instantly killing the wife and the three children. Mr. Heilman escaping with some bruises. Mrs. Shilts, the wife of the man now owning tbe farm, says she hears nearly every night soft footsteps, as that oi a woman witnout snoes on, going to ana iro through the house as if hunting for something, or some one, and then will follow a slamming and banging ol doors. Mr. Shilts also Bays he hears tbe noise, and all efforts to learn the cause have been unavailing. The matter is the talk of the neighborhood, and further investi gation will be made in order to solve the mys tery which so annoys the family. Mrs. Shilts will not stay alone in the house, especially at night and is living in abject fear. What Are Oar Relations With England? From the New York World.! Our relations with England seem to be some what mixed at present. Tbe Samoan affair has placed the United States and Great Britain close together in opposition to Germany, while Lord Salisbury and Minister Phelps are main taining a status belli having its origin in the Lord Sackville incident Are we enemies of England or allies? Did Ben Blade's barn burn up or burn down? Won't somebody please answer these timely questions? Whnt a meeting That Will Be. From tbe Philadelphia lialletln.1 Now that onr mild-tempered and peace-loving Secietary of State is in danger of coming into diplomatic collision with tbe bluff and burly Chancellor of Germany, the effect will not be unlike tbat of a grizzly bear in contact with a chipmunk. A BIG CITY'S GOSSIP. The Crusade Against Battles. tNEW TOBK BUBZaC SPXClALS. New York, January 26. Many well-known women in the city are now issuing their mani festoes against the bustle. Several of them take great pains to prove that they objected to bustles long before Mrs. Cleveland said any thing on the subject Mrs. Ella Wheeler Wil cox says she discarded tbcbustle long before Mrs. Cleveland. Cella Logan thinks she gave Mrs. Cleveland ber first idea of abolishing bustles, when she went bustleleis to a recep tion at the White House, twoTears aco. Belva Lockwood has always considered bustles "dress distorters," and Lillie Deveraux. Blake has dis liked them ever since she put on long dresses, years and years ago. Kate Field says: "The bustle is an invention of the devil." While showing ber dresses to a friend a few days ago. Mrs. Brown Potter said: "If you can find a dresspad or a spring or a steel tucked away in any one of them I will give you the whole wardrobe. Flat? Of course tbey are flat Aren't we born so? No, not quite flat The back, if one has a good back, has a lovely con tour, and it's that one wants to display, not . in artificial back of cotton, wool and sawdust. The bustle is a barbarism." Though opposed to big bustles, Mrs. Frank Leslie likes.a "very little one." She says: "A well-formed woman can hardly dispense with a little fullness at tbe back of ber gown. I can't agree with Mrs. Potter. She says ber form is so perfect that she doesn't need a bustle. Now, if she don't need one, that is proof on the face or the back of it that ber form is not good at all." Mrs. Langtry regards bustles as "hideously un graceful," and Mary Anderson speaks of them as "essentially unartlstic" Fanny Davenport also declares that the bustle must go. Wouldn't Die to Please Them. Colonel David B. Churchill, a jeweler of means, has suffered from heart disease for sev eral years. Three times in the last year he has been quite near to death. A week ago he fell ill again, andhis doctors told him he was done for. He was persuaded to make his will and call a minister. Then he began to sink rapidly. Mrs. Churchill hastily summoned his relatives from tbe South and West, and began arrang. ing for the funeral. When Colonel Churchill heard of this and saw all his relatives about the bouse, he became furious. He swore horribly, dismissed bis minister, and declared they all wanted to get him out of the way. He told tbe doctors he had grit enough to get well, just to spite them all. He is doing it He is almost as well as ever. A Narrow Escape. A crowded tenement house downtown caught fire at 1 o'clock this morning. The flames were already well up the stairway before the tene ments were alarmed. Six families, with 15 children, struggled down to the street through the smoke and fire. Three little boys shinned down the fire escape from the third story. No one was injured. Settling tbe Whys Gang. Thomas Power and "Kid" Carbonson. mem bers of the notorious Whyo gang, knocked in the glass front of a jeweler's shop yesterday, and stole 85.000 worth of trinkets. The cuts in their bands betrayed them to the police to-day. After a sharp tussle three policemen locked them np. Their imprisonment will probably put an end to the depredations of tbe Wbyos. who have long been the terror of the East Side. Six Wbyos are now in the penitentiary, one of them doing a life sentence for murder. A COMPLETE NEWSPAPER That Reflects Credit on the Poshing, Boom ing City Where It Is Published. From the 1'ottsvillc Miners' Journal. J The Pittsburg Dispatch Is a newspaper which reflects credit upon the pushing, plucky, booming city where it is published, and one which would be a worthy representative of any one of the largest cities of the country. In makeup, appearance, and the character and quality of its contents it is more metropolitan than a majority of the papers of New York, Philadelphia or Chicago, while it Is questiona ble whether any other city in the country of the magnitude of Pittsburg boasts so perfect a modern newspaper. The circulation of The Dispatch is extensive and steadily increas ing, that of the daily surpassing the issue of any other paper in Western Pennsylvania, Eastern Ohio or West Virginia, while its Sun day issue approximates an average of 45,000 copies. The publishers of The Dispatch are constantly adopting new features to enhance its interest, and arrangements have been made for the introduction of a variety of attractive specialties for 1S89. While the city depart ment of The Dispatch Is one of its strongest features, it Is by no means to be classed as a merely local paper, but with Its full telegraphic reports, interesting special correspondence from Washington, New York and other cen ters of life and business, and able editorial de partment, it becomes a complete newspaper, adapted to the Information and edification of the general reader in any part of the country. PBACTICAL PROTECTION. The American Gold Beaters Will Exclude All Foreign Competition. London, January 26. The circular issued by the New York Goldbeaters' Union continues to engage the attention of tho London Trades Council. The secretary of the council has been authorized to send a communication to the New York union setting forth that their action in imposing an initiation fee of $100 upon foreign goldbeaters would obstruct fraternization among the worklngmen of the world. In vie w of this they will ask the Ameri can union to reconsider the grave step which they have proposed to take. A New "i ork dispatch says: In relation to the circular issued by the Goldbeaters' Union of New York, Mr. Alexander McQueen, the President of the Union, said the only provision of the circular was that it imposed an initia tion fee of 8100 upon all foreign workmen who wished to enter the union. He said this would have the effect of excluding all foreign gold beaters from the country. WHO SAID IT. Deas Swift Is credited with "Bread Is the staff of life." It was Keats said: "A thing of beauty Is a joy forever." "Man proposes, but God disposes" remarked Thomas A. Kempis. Franklin is authority for "God helps those who help themselves." It was an observation of Thomas Southern that "Pity's akin to love." "All cry and no wool" Is an expression found in Butler's "Hudibras." We are indebted to Colley Cibber, not to Shakespeare, for "Richard ts himself again." Edward Coke, the English jurist was of the opinion that "A man's house is his castle." "When Greek joins Greek then was tho tug of war," was written by Nathaniel Lee in 1602. Edward Young tells us "Death loves a shining mark" and "A fool at 40 is a fool In deed." "Variety's the spice of life" and "Not much the v;orse for wear," wero coined by Cowper. Charles Pincknet gave the patriotic sen timent "Millions for defense, but not one cent for tribute." Or two evils I have chosen tbe least" and "The end must justify the means" are from Matthew Prior. To Milton we owe "The paradise of fools,' "A wilderness of sweets," and "Moping melan choly and moonstruck madness." The poet Campbell found tbat "Coming events cast their shadows before" and "'Tis distance lends enchantment to the view." Christopher Marlowe gave forth tbe in vitation so often repeated by his brothers in a less public way: "Lore me. little, love me long." To Dr. Johnson belongs "A good hater," and to Macintosh, in 1701, the phrase, often at tributed to John Randolph: "Wise and mas terly inactivity." Thomas Tasseb, a writer of the sixteenth century, said: "It's an HI wind turns no good," "Better late than never," "Look ere thou leap," and "The stone that is rolling can gather no moss." "First in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his fellow-citizens" (not his country men), appeared in tbe resolutions presented to the House of Representatives in December, 1799, by General Henry Lee. CUBI0US GWDENSATfOSS. Not a single baby has been born in Lib erty, Kt., for 13 years. Liberty has a popula tion of TOOL The fires in London last year averaged about five a day a material decrease compared with 1837. Fresh water always freezes at the sur face first. Sea water during calm weather be gins to freeze at some point beneath the sur face. Rhubarb came from China about 1573, and when introduced into England was called "patience." Turnip leaves wero first eaten as a salad. A deformed "newsboy," who died in St Louis the other day, left money and securities! amounting to 223,000. He was 38, and had sold papers for 25 years. A colored woman testified at a trial in Stanford.Ky., "that she would have been killed had she not seen the bullet which was coming straight at her, and dodged it" A fool California man wrapped up enough S20 gold pieces to make a package ot $1,000 and sent them through the mail unregis tered. And just because they got lost on tho way he is raisine a great disturbance. A couple or lads the other day dived from the schoolship St. Mary's Into the Hud son, and then indulged in a swim. The water was ice coiu, out tne boys didn't mind thatand, on emerging, said they "felt like flghtmg cocks." A mule owned in Jersey City per formed tbe remarkable feat recently, of walk ing across a railroad bridge which spans tho Hackensack river. The bridge is trestle-work, with a space of about four inches between each tie. At the festivities attending the Emperor of China's marriage next year will be employed 40.000 horn lanterns, 12.000 glass lamps and 21.000 pieces of embroidered silks, and skilled artificers are now hard at work manufacturing these articles. A New Year custom in France, which falls heavily upon young unmarried men of limited income, is tbat which obliges them to send a bonbonmere to every lady in whose houso they have received entertainment dur ing the old year that Is just dead. In a recent legal action it transpired in evidence that the inventor of the metal plates used to protect soles and heels of boots from wear sold upward of 12,000,000 plates in 1879, and In 1837 the number reached 113,000,000, pro ducing realized profits of $230,000. Paris eats a vast quantity of snails. Every day 90,000 pounds are sent to the city from tbe gardens of Burgundy, Champagne, Provence and Poitoaj where tbey are specially reared for this purpose. Tbey are not only eaten as a delicacy.but also on account of their highly nutritious qualities. A "cheeky" thief has been discovered in Lima, O. He is a boy, too, and after robbing a shoe store returned wi:h some of tbe booty and endeavored to effect an exchange for a pair of shoes that would fit him. It eked out tbat he had stole tbe goods, and the proprietor had him and two youthful pals arrested. A rnde stone cist has been exhumed in Orpblr, Kirkwall, inside of which was found a, textile garment supposed to be woollen, also an amber bead and the nucleus of a glass one. This is believed to be the first cist found in Scotland witb a textile garment supposed to be for covering the body, and tbe beads for or namenting tbe covering. This bunal place is thought to be anterior to the Norse invasion, about the eighth or ninth century. A rich find almost 53,000 in gold, bank notes and silver was made in a bag of oats by a storekeeper of Brentwood, England. He re turned the treasure to the poor farmer from whom be bought the oats, and was rewarded with a bushel of grain and tbe promise of a rabbit. The soil tiller's mother (she died a few months ago) was a miser and is thought to have made a hiding place of tbe bag. which had long been stored in her son's granary. At Columbus, Ga., one of the postofnea officials closed the door to tbe new vault a few nights ago and forgot to turn off the gas. When the door to tbe vault was opened the next morning the smell of gas was so strong tbat he could not enter the vault for somo time. After waiting -about two hours he en tered the vault and struck a match. The air, being charged with gas, instantly Ignited, sing ing tbe official's hair and beard andfrightemng him out of bis wits. The death of tbe flash was as instantaneous as its birth and the worthy official was left to shudder at his nar row escape. When the tall chimney for tbe Sbawmut Fibre Company in Fairfield, Me., was completed a short time ago, the contractor conceived the brilliant idea of floating a bandana from tbo topmost brick. Now the resident owners of tho mill were equally divided on the ban dana business, so on a vote of censure the con tractor knew there would be a tie. Tbe ban dana was an unsightlyred rag to half the mem bers of the firm but a thing of beauty to tho other half. Last week's high wind loosened the brick which held the bandana staff and the safety of the chimney was threatened. The contractor was notified and hewasoblized to build a ladder 1C0 feet in length in the inside of the chimney and go up and haul down his col ors, and repair damages. Quite a number of people have been excited into a promiscuous digging for buried treasure, two miles east of Dalton, Ga. A railroad man was entrusted with a letter from a sick Louisiana soldier during the war, which, in case of his death, was to be forwarded to a certain address. Tbe Federal occupancy of this section delayed the sending of the letter, and it was put away for safety with private papers and forgotten. Recently It came to light, and, with a note of explanation, was for warded. It was not delivered, but returned to the writer. This letter states that a certain amount of gold, possibly $5,000, was buried! under a certain oak tree, which, with the loca-j tlon, was fully described. The information uas, leaked out and tbe work ot unearthing it has commenced in good earnest. Tbe tree cannot be found, but old stumps tbat answer to a pos sibility is being dug around till for several acres is presented the appearance of a prairiu dog colony. CLIPPED BITS OF WIT. TO A GREAT THINKER WITH A BAD STTLE. Most gladly I'd clamber philosophy's ledges. Most happily follow thee mile after mile, But thy Held Is surrounded by towering hedges. And ne'er can I hope to get over thy style. Uarper'1 Magazine. Asking Too Much of Hira. "You all remember the words or Webster," shouted the orator. f "So, we don't" Interrupted a man In the gallery. "He has so many words I can't remem ber more than half of 'em. "Harpcr't Magazine. A Flowery Sermon. "Well, my dear, what did you think of I)r. Verbose' sermoa this morning?" "Why, I was very much surprised. I never knew before ;thst the apparently simple text he chose was so hard to explain." Harper's Maga tine. HE FELT BEBTOR. There was a young man, a poor debtor, Who wrote to his tailors a Iebtor; They answered at once. And called bim a donee. And then the poor fctlbw felt Debtor. Washington Critic. The Seal of Fashion. "I can't imagine how those Gabbler girls have got their repntatlon for style. They are certainly ugly enouih to scare a corpse, and they don't know how to dress, I'll swear." "Ah, my boy. hut yon should hear them talk slang 1' Substantial Knowledge. "Were you at the Ladies Athenian Club this afternoon, my dear?" asked a Koston husband. "Ob, yes, and we had a most reviving- time, and besides that I got Mrs. de Literati's recipe from her own lips for making snowball padding. J.o For Bun. The Wild Western Way. Arizona wife (sarcastically at 3 a.m.) -Well, I suppose you nave been painting tbe town red, as usual. IIusband-(calmly)-Oaly partly. I shot those two tenderfeet you flirted with at the fandango yesterday, and here is a little more scarlet Shoots her and retires to rest. An Audacious Intrusion. (At Mrs. BInshrose's reception. )-Mrs. A. (Indignantly) Who Is that strange, odd-lookin? person, wander ing about as If be knew no one, and no one wanted to know him? Mrs. B. (apoIosetically)-Ssh. dear! That 13 dear Mrs. BInshrose's ahem I husband, you know. Mrs. A.-(scornfuIly) What lmoodencet AFineOpportunity Offered. "Mamma," said a fashionable np-town girl, "there's a gen tleman In tbe parlor who wants to see you." Mamma enters the parlor. H'exeuseme, madam. fornotsendlnkh'Inme kaird. bnt b'unrortnnately I forgot to bring one. Ih'amal'rofessoroftbe h'Fngllsh language at she h'ls spoke h'on Fell Mell and Piccadilly. I thought, perhapa. h'lr there h'are young ladles h'ln the family tbat you would like to have them Join me class h'ln h'orderto catch the correct Flccadlulan and Fell Mell h'aecent." "Why. certainly. Professor, I think I will be glad to do so (touching a bell). James, eallMia Laura."