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HBHH (pTrtPEWjr 'gp v SS??wpj?5 " 5f 'ssjv VSv' V X r. THE PITTSBURG- DISPATQB, SATURDAY, JULY 26, I860. J. nook jt the luerary spread, the literary spread. ALL ITresh And Original, offered by TO-TirORROWS 7"lRPATCH. O-JilORROW'S JLISfATCH. OH PAGES. READ I'nA PAGES. 4) PAGES. I THE LIST 6) PAGES. AKD THE CONTRIBUTORS. A NEW IRON MOUNTAIN. Jorrir Dennis, Jb. HOW IO BEAT WALL STREET, Heney Clews. BIDING OVER THE WEST. James Newton Basket. STAND FAST, CRAIG-ROYSTON, William Black. WIDOWS OF HEROES, Miss Gbundt, Je. 8TOPPING AT THE SAVOY. JOON- l'AVIi BOCOCK. OHIMNEr CORNER PUZZLES. E. R. CHADB0T7BN. A CABIN IN THE WOODS, R. W. Shoppell. GOSSIP OF GOTHAM, CLABA BELLE. FRESH DOG &TORIES, KBANK G. CABPEKTEB. EMBALMED ALIVE; a Story. Edward Stevens. SEASHORE COSTUMES, MEG. THE SOUBRETTE'S WOES. , CHABLES T. MUBBAT. WESSONS OF THE CENSUS. James C. Kjbdt. A TRD? ABROAD FOR J200, The Country Pabson. HOBNOBBING WITH ROYALTY. JOHN D. PbINQLE. HOME DECORATION, C. B, CLIFFORD. HOW COCAINE IS OBTAINED. . Fannie B. Wabd. HIS DOGGED LITTLE DAWG. PicTOBiAL Sketch. OUR DRINKING "WATER, THE MUCH-ABUSED PORKER, Ellicu Sebxha. BT. MATTHEWS GOSPEL. Rev. George Hodges. HAPPINESS .EVERYWHERE AND NO WHERE. BESSIE BRAMBLE. TWO-STORY CARS IN EUROPE. Eli Perkins. ENGLAND'S TALLEST SPIRE, B. G. Johns. ST. SWITHEN'S DAY', Louts T. Pbalk. MIND AND MATTER, Mark F. Gbiswold. FOOD ADULTERATION, L. T. Jekeyman. ROWING IN ENGLAND, Pringle. JOHN BARLEYCORN'S MENAGERIE. DlDIMTTS. Cable Letters. Exclusive News, Full Ball scores, ALL THE bPORTS. Metbopolinan Events, Congressional Doings, non-partisaifpolitios, AND ALL THE NEWS GIVEN IN ADDITION TO THE AB3VE. THE DISPATCH G0E8 EVERYWHRE. IT lb THE NEWSPAPER Fob 1 n f FoB News, S Business, Facts, r t Homes. . OsiGixALrrT, I PAGES. I Offices. PUSH, J PAGES. (.EVERYBODY. CARRIERS. NEWS AGENIS, TRAIN AND NEWbBOYS SELL IT AT ALL POINTS. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1848, VoL 45, No. MB. 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One Year :n "B r.nifr.T Dispatch, One Year 1S5 The Dailt Dispatch Is delivered by carriers at 3t cents per week, or Includine fcunday edition, a t SO cents per week. PITTSBURG. SATURDAY. JULY 28, 1S90. THE DISPATCH FOE THE SUMMER, Persons leaving the City for the summer can have The Dispatch forwarded by earliest mall to any address at the rale of 90 cents per month, or ft SO or three monthsl Sunday edi tion included. Daily edition only. 70c per month, ft or three months. The address may be changed as desired, i care be taken in all cases to mention both old and new address. THE SOUTH PENN DISCOVERY. The facts which have been ascertained by a special investigation on behalf of The Dispatch into the present status of the South Fenn enterprise, are of the utmost importance, and in some aspects hare an al most sensational significance. As will be seen from the correspondence published in this issue, it is beyond doubt that work bis been resumed for the construction of the line. All the movements of the engineers in the new snrvevs that have been made have been surrounded with secresy. Every effort has been made to keep information from reaching the outside public. The lips of the railroad magnates who are connected with the South Penn enterprise are sealed. But the evidence is conclusive that new surveys "have been made, and that arrange ments are in progress for an early resump tion ot the actual work of construction. This would be very good news to Pitts burg if it were not that the indications of the resumption of work are accompanied by equally clear indications that the work is being done under the direction and control ot the Pennsylvania Bailroad. The engineers are nominally in the employment of the Cumberland Valley road, one of the minor ramifications of the great corporation; but they are clearly the employes of the Pennsylvania Bailroad. It is thus made a prima facie conclusion at least, that the Pennsylvania Bailroad has taken possession of the property, and has resumed its effort of five years to control it, even to the degree of building it under the cloak of one of its proprietary corporations. On this theory there are several very in teresting aspects. la the first place, the construction of the line as a secondary track of the Pennsylvania Bailroad will rob it of the great public benefits promised by the original project It was as a competing line in Pennsylvania's vast freighting busi ness that the former enterprise was wel comed by the people; and it was to main tain that beneficial character that the con stitutional provisions were appealed to and upheld by the courts. If the construction of the road is not to serve that purpose, but is only to extend and perpetuate the monopoly of the Pennsylvania Bailroad in the State's traffic, the public benefit is turned Into injury, and the power of the corporation to ignore at once the pnblio welfare and the requirements of the Consti tution, is manifested to a remarkable degree. Another pecnliar phase presents itself here. The railroad magnates at the time of the South Penn bearings asserted with the weight or expert testimony that the South Penn road would not be a competing line because its grades were bad; because it. ran; through a mountainous and - thinly populated seotion, and a number of other reasons of the same exquisite cogency with regard to through competition, but all asserting the worthless nature ot the road if it should be finished. President Boberts was the leading railroad magnate to make these assertions on the witness stand. If the Pennsylvania Bailroad now completes the road it will demonstrate that the worth lessnesi of the project only existed as long as it was in the control of some one else;and it will be a somewhat grave question for these eminent railroad officials to explain the manufacture of testimony to suit the supposed exigencies of their case. But this is not the most serious aspect of an attempt by the Pennsylvania Bailroad to build the South Penn road under the cloak ot an intermediary corporation. The gravest phase as regards public rights and the subordination of the creatures of legisla tion to the fundamental law, is presented by the fact that if the Pennsylvania Bail road does this, it will be doing exactly what it is forbidden to do by the general prohibi tion of the Constitution and by the specific injnetion or the courts. It is forbidden to "in any way control a parallel or competing line," and especially this one by the injunc tion affirmed by the Supreme Court. Of course the effort to avoid responsibility is used in the present movement; but that can afford it no more shield than in he quo warranto cases. Two or three intermediary corpora tions were employed to shift the legal re sponsibility then; but the law saw through the disguise and forbade any such attempt to do through an agent what the great cor poration is forbidden to do for itself. The resumption of the attempt to do the same thine with changed names can hardly take any other aspect that a deliberate declara tion of the Pennsylvania Railroad's ability to override the mandates of Constitution and courts alike, and lay down its own law, that no competition shall be allowed in the rail road traffic of this State. Snch an avowal carries with it an asser tion of corporate supremacy that is likel to afford food for thought to every reflecting citizen of the State. SHOTGUNS SUPERSEDED.' A correspondent writing from Alabama assures us that the shotgun policy has been superseded by the plan of buying influen tial negroes who can control a following of men of their own color. The details of this proceeding are very interesting. They show that a more humane method of controlling votes than shooting the voters has been adopted by the white politicians. There is no secrecy about the means by which the supremacy of the white population is assured. It has a strange sound to our ears. "We have not in the North yet come to talking openly ot buying voters, or deluding the ignorant by trickery. But the conditions of Southern life must be considered; they are not considered enough generally. It seems likely that the nation will be forced to study the Southern problem more attentively. BANKRUPTCY LEGISLATION. The passage of the national bankruptcy bill by the House, the other dav, is an re assuring indication that in the intervals of partisan legislation, Congress can attend to some of the business required by national interests. It is hardly to be hoped that a measure sent to the Senate at this late day, will be passed this session; but the bill will be left in a position where it can be passed next winter. Twelve years ago in a fit of anger at the fault of the old bankrupt law, Congress and the country threw it away altogether. It would hardly have been more trouble to amend than to repeal it; but the number of dishonest bankruptcies was so great that a sudden and rather senseless impulse secured its entire abolition. It did not take very long for the business public to learn that in repealing the law instead of amending it, a grave mistake had been made; but our polit ical conditions are such that twelve years have elapsed before a new bill is passed by one branch of Congress; and it will proba bly be thirteen years before the false step is entirely retraced. The Tarrey bill which was passed by the House and is summarized in this issue avoids the faults of the old bankruptcy law. It has the indorsement of commercial bodies all over the country. If the Senate would take time from political squabbling to pass the bill at this session, it wonld do the country a decided service. The provis ions of the bill are fully set forth in another column. BE WANTS BLOOD. Mr. Henry S. Chase, of St. Louis, must be a most excitable person. He is sending circulars of the most blood-curdling char acter all over the country. A packet of these pronunciamentos has reached The Dispatch. According to Mr. Chase civil war is about to break out, and Mr. Chase proposes to help it along if he can. He calls upon the people to build fires on the hill tops a -most dangerons proceeding at this dry season; to hold mass meetings, to write letters to the Senate and finally to read the whole of the Federal election bill. If Mr. Chase's advice is not followed we are told that there may be a cry of "To arms 1" and our stteets may be wet with blood. There may be danger to the liberties of the people and there may be serious cause for anxiety, bnt they spring from the hysterics of such hair-brained shouters as Mr. Chase. The people can deal with the force bill without resorting to bloodshed, and the bill is a good way yet from being made a law. It is a pity that the South cannot'keep its lunatics in the asylums. NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. The general disposition to ascribe all sorts of subjects to the scope of thef Inter-State Commerce law is unconquerable, notwith standing the fact that it reveals a most re markable ignorance of the nature of that' enactment The Dispatch has referred to this matter before; but the last two in stances are so striking as to call for a special notice. In a recent trial of au original package case in Dakota both the court and the at torneys made frequent references to the Inter-State commerce law, as if it were that enactment which prevented the States from stopping the sale of liquor in original pack ages. The fact is that it has no more to do with that subject thau the tariff laws. The ruling of the Supreme Court in the original package cases does not contain a single ref erence to the Inter-State Commerce law. The Inter-State Commerce clause of the Constitution on which that decision is based is an entirely separate and much mora far reaching provision, A similar exhibition of failure "to com prehend the scope of the Inter-State Com merce law was famished by the recent ac tion of the railroad firemen's convention, "asking Congress to so amend the Inter State Commerce law as to compel all later State railroad companies to use only auto matic brakes and couplers." The enactment asked for is a good one, but it is wholly dis tinct from the purposes of the Inter-State Commerce law and canoe made the subject of au enactment by itself, much better. than to be tagged on to an enactment of entirely separate purposes. The Inter-State Commerce law is an exer tion of the power of Congress under the Inter-State Commerce clause ot theConstitu tion to regulate a single phase and function of Inter-State Commerce, namely the im partiality and reasonableness of railway charges to the public It does not go be yond that function in any clause, and there is no reason why Is should. Other features of Inter-State Commerce, if enactments are necessary concerning them, should receive entirely separate treatment THE WORST WITNESS. The .New York Prut indulges in severe and minatory janguage. concerning the pernicious Democratic papers who keep on asserting that the United States revenues for the coming fiscal year are likely to show a deficiency as compared with the expendi tures. It quotes the Boston Eerald as Democratic authority to sustain it in its assertion that the whole agitation is a "bugaboo." If that Js so, should not the reproofs of our esteemed co temporary be directed to those administration organs which have given intimations that such a deficiency is likely to arise. As a place where its correc tive efforts may have some effect, we re'er it to the editorial columns of the New York Press. It is only a little over a 'week since that journal presented its plan for keeping revenues and expenditures square by omit ting the $49,000,000 appropriation for the sinking fund. As the sinking fund is established by law and as its maintenance amounts to a contrapt obligation between the Government and its creditors, the ad mission that it is necessary to disregard that vital obligation, is one of the most striking confessions of deficiency that could be made. Tne Press should take the Press in hand. When it admitted the necessity of throwing overboard the sinking fund appropriation, it gave up the whole case 'as regards a future deficiency between revenues and ex penditures. REFORM THE DESKS. The chfldren are all at play, and the pretty schoolma'ams and the stern peda gogues are all enjoying freedom and fresh air, but it is none the less a good time to make improvements in the schoolroom. As will be seen elsewhere there is considerable ground for believing that the equipment of our public schools in the matter of desks is far from what it should be. The reasonable claim is made that the scholars are treated in the schools as if they were made for the desks rather than that the desks were made for the scholars. The desks are not adapted in many cases to the growing boys and girls who use them. The big boys get low desks, the little boys high ones, and so on. This is -bad for the children's health. Now is a good time to examine the facts and prepare a way for the needed reform. Make the desks suit the scholars. As an alleged reply to the praises of Postmaster Hendrlx, of Broklyn, recently re moved by the present administration, the New York Tribune says: "Now, it turns ont that all the principal places in the .Brooklyn postoffice are filled by Republicans, who were found In office by Mr. Hendrlx and retained br him be cause of their exceptional efficiency:" which is one of the best evidences of the good results of keeping experienced men in office a role violated by Mr. Hendrix's removal. Colonel Elliott F. Shepard declares that 1000,000 Americans will spring to arms to enforce the Federal election. On the supposi tion that they will be led by that renowned warrior. Colonel Shepard, the rally to the tented field will be an awe-inspiring sight. Shepard's warlike propensities are becoming unconquerable through long suppression. Mb. Abkell, of Judge, is now engaged in writing letters declaring that Mr. Rnssell B. Harrison has no connection with that pictorial publication, and knew nothing of the cartoon entitled "Jealous Jim." Perhaps the best evi dence in support of Mr. Arkell's assertion is to be found in the fact that the cartoon failed to rise to that height of bold imagioatlon required to represent Mr. Blaine as jealons of President Harrison's success In conrting the Renublican party. "The census padder ought to be given ten years," remarks the Philadelphia Times' bnt it fails to say anything abont the fate that should await the censns enumerator who does not get all the names. Is it the Philadelphia idea that the man who leaves the census work undone is less pernicious than the one who overdoes T The godfather business seems to be ex panding. Mr. Bradley, of Asbnry Park, went into It on the wholesale plan the other day, by standing godfather to 200 babies at once. It is evident, however, that he cannot endow the Infants as liberally as Godfather Grant did in the same line. Ten thousand times two hundred is two millions; and two million dol lars wonld make godfathering entirely too ex pensive. The statement that the Sugar Trust has sued itself might be taken as an Intimation that it bas beguu to realize what it deserves. Bnt an examination of the proceedings shows that it has set np a dummy plaintiff in the hope of forestalling more genuine proceedings against its monopoly. Speaker Beed is to reply to "X. M. C." in the next number of the North American Re view. He might improve the occasion by also replying to another public man who has most completely exposed the Insincerity of his pres ent position. That man's name is Thomas B. Reed, and his speeches and writings of a short time ago furnished the most complete com mentary on the Speaker Reed of to-day. The New York papers are raising a great f nss over the proposed Columbus statue; which indicates that the enthusiasm will continue un abated until the New Yorkers are asked to put up the money to pay for It. The spectacle of Hon. William E. Chandler assailing the gallant Field Marshal Marat Halstead for opposing the Federal elec tion law, is one that promised to 'afford more fun for the outsiders than for Chandler. Mr. Halstead may have been crowded into the background lately, bnt when he has got some to pitch into him and be made mincemeat ot In return, then Mnrat is himself again. Met With Tbetr Canal Success. The lawn fete given by the congregation of St. Stephen's Episcopal Church In Bewickley, last evening, was crowned with the success that always attends the efforts of that congregation in anything of the sort. Ice cream was sold in great abundance and eaten in like abundance by the many who thronged the pretty grounds surrounding the church. Blntne'a Audience. From the Providence Journal. Secretary Blaine is not talking to the present session of Congress so much as he is to the American people. " DEATHS0FA DAY. Brother Yincrar. Bourn Bend, 1jtd July is Brother Vincent, one of the builders or the University of Notre Dame, died Wednesday nljrbt at the ace of almost 100 years. Although other senses were intact, ho had been blind for tome time. He eamt to Notre Uaire with the Very Kev. father Sorin In 1S, beta; oat of the tatter's four companions on that eventfnl fonrncv. Brother Lawranaa and Krnthe Hustln are dead, while the third, Brother Xavler is the undertaker at Kotro Dame, and Is very old. THE TOPICAL TALKER, A Prophecy About Mr. Blaine That Tlmo Hi Proven Tme What n Colared Man Thinks of the South A Shrewd Circus Trick. couple of months ago In Washington a membef of Congress and a newspaper man discussed in my presence the political prospects of Mr. Blaine. The Congressman was not a Blaine man, but knew him well personally, and his family still better especially Mr. Blaine's brother, who is employed in one of the depart menta. My notebook reminds me that the Congressman said: "The mismanagement of Mr. Blaine's ante-nomination campaign In 1588 will not be repeated la 1892. If things run on as they have been doing for a year past Mr. Blaine will be forced almost, whether he likes It or not, to be a candidate at the next President! election. There Is no likelihood of Mr. Blaine's Jetting any opportunity slip to present himself upon some pnblic Question of creat lmnortanpn before Congress rises this summer. When he does begin the fight there will be no suoh blun ders as European trip allowed in his cam paign. I know that he still has the ambition to be President, and his friends are as eager as ever to help him." The opportunity to which the Congressman referred bas arrived, and every day is showing that Mr. Blaine means to take all the advan tage he can of it. An intelligent colored man who has had a considerable experience of life in the South, although be now prosecutes his trade in Plttsourg, said to me a day or two ago: "There is no great desire among most of the men of my race in the South 1 am speaking of my friends and relations for new legislation in their behalf. They wonld prefer to be let alone. The generation that t has grown up since the war bas taken part in a good deal of what people call the building ot the new South. There are exceptions of course, but the majority of the men I know in Southern towns and in the country have a strong attachment to the soil and to the whites who live with them. The two races are more closely related than most Northerners suppose. psoBABLY ltwasnotwiththe knowledge of the Barnum and Bailey management that Forepangh's people, when their circus was here early in the spring, declared that an ar rangement had been made by which Barnaul's circus wonld not visit Pittsburg this season. In former years some such division of territory has been made, Barnum taking the Eastern States and Forepangh the West or vice versa. A good many Pittsburgers be lieved Forepangh's assurance that the only Barnum would not get here after his return from the conquest ot Britain, and they spent their half dollars and dollars in Forepaugh's big tent. Now Barnum's circus looms np tremendous upon the horizon, and whole carloads of parents will be compelled to lay ont more dollars against their willst on circus tickets. The small boy is the only one who will not kick. If we except the small girl who bas just as warm a love for the tanbark and the clowns and the animals and the peanuts and the lemonade as hr brother. Perhaps it is all for the best, Bnt economical parents and gnardlans will be a little shy about swallowing announcements of the "only circus this year" in future. PEomHErrr people. Mb. Gladstone makes it a rule never to travel on Sunday. an dbew Caeneoie has offered to give $50, 000 to build a free library at Ayr. R. B. Hates. Grover Cleveland and James G. Blaine are the only living Presidents! candi dates nominated prior to 188S. It is stated that Pattl will visit this country in 1892 on the same conditions as on ber last four visits namely, that it will be a farewell tour. J. Wabben Keifeb emerged the other day and was f onnd to still cling to the preceding J. to his name and" the subsequent splketalls to his coat. It Mr. XJepew is a candidate for President of the United States it may bo stated that his campaign is moving along very satisfactorily in England. Colonel Mokeow has-withdrawn from the Gubernatorial contest in California, and H. H. Markham probably will be the Republican candidate. It appears that the powerfnl name of Russell Harrison Is attached to the Judge staff for ad vertising purposes only. And yet Russell is an able journalist. The reigning belle of Madrid is the Countess of Villa Gonzalo. She is a woman of till and graceful figure, with large, lustrous black eyes and a beautiful complexion. She is married and has one child. The Duke of Fife has a dozen suits of clothes in constant use, and a gossipy chronicler says that be keeps bis various patrs of trousers on shelves labeled "Monday," "Tuesday," and so on to the end of the week. John Saboent, the American portrait painter, who lives most ot the time in London, has picked up as high as $80,000 In four months at his profession. He is the only American artist who can command 5,000 for a portrait. Mbs. Elizabeth Stdaet Phelfs-Wabd is described as a shy woman of delicate features. Her eyes have a look of sadness In them. The strength of her face appears in her forehead. She is a quiet but engaging talker. Abraham Bonnafield, Clerk of the County Court of Tucker county, West Virginia, who died a few days ago, was born without legs over SO years ago. Yet he was an excellent cavalry soldier in the rebel army all through the late war. The Folly of Fortnnc-Telllna-. From the i'ninn tawny Splrlt.i The pernicious folly of fortune-telling was forcibly Illustrated in Pittsburg the other day when a young lady committed suicide because she bad been told by a fortune-teller that she would not live a month. It is a most ridiculous superstition to snpposo that an old, ignorant crone who mumbles off a lot ot stuff learned by rote knows any more abont your future than you do yourself, and persons who encourage such idiocy by patronizing these itinerant frauds become partners in the wrong. CUBEEHT TIMELY TOPICS. Speaker Reed and Johnny Davenport wonld make a great running team In 1892. The former could do the voting and the latter the counting-, A boycott oftentimes proves a boomerang. It's the tame war with correspondence a great deal of Ink has been wasted andpaperspolled over a trtillng matter. Albebt Haweiks, colored, for 22 years coachman at the White House,ha been dismissed. He will be given a position in the departments if the proper place Is vacant, but a Government em ploye is hardly ever known to resign, and a va canoymay not be forthcoming for maty moons. Miss Specie South, a Missouri woman, has Just died at th e age of 112 years, bhe attended the inauguration of George Washington, but, strange to relate, her father did not hold a Government position. The leading colored man of St. Louis has been arrested for allowing crip playing in his hose. Bas the colored manrno rights that the law Is bound to respect? It hardly seems possible, but nevertheless it is a fact, that a Western member of the present House of Kepresentitlves has refused a renoml natlon. When the fact Is noticed that when he was elected three candidates were in the field, his refusal to take any chances are easily accounted for. v -The weather is reported as delieiously cool In bt. Louis. If that Is the case overcoats must be In good demand in Chicago. It Is said that the love existing botween BpeaVer Keed and Mr. Kogers, of Arkansas, is so intense that the smiles exchanged would freeze a two horse power iee-freezer. Nevada has a population of about 45.000, Including the two United States Senators, mem ber of the Honse and one millionaire who Is away at a summer resort. The theaters are receiving their annual sum mer coat of paint and general overhauling pre paratory to reopening. When they are all in full blast K,n " Pty good indication that fall is approaching at a rapid gait. Gejjebal A. T. Goshobit reruses to act as general manager of the Chicago Exposition. Be has been t' -jo once, and he's too old a bird to be taught a ondtlme, - J A BIT OF BUSKED PAPEB. A Strange Incident of the Late Western Union Fire In New York City. From the Funxsutawney Spirit. We received a letter from onr brother, L. D. Smith, of Jersey City, dated July 18, which on account of the weird nature of its contents, is herewith given: Dead Bbothsb Among the incidents of daily occurence a few of them might be deemed wonder ful, if anything In this age or marvels could be so called. In this case it may be only 'strange,' but it was strange enough to make an impression on me, and perhaps it may on you when you learn the circumstances. The Western Union Tele graph building was burned in New York to-day, and while standing- on Fler K, in Jersey City, al most directly onposlte the scene of the conflagra tion, bnt probably a mile away, a little piece of burnt paper floated down through the air and lit at my feet. What induced me to pick It np I do not know, but 1 did, and turning It over found what will explain Itself to you. Was it a message? There was a time when much Importance would be attached to anything of that sort, but the days ot signs and omens have passed, and reason tmly jisieoa o cause aau eueci. lei wnat is (msr xoe only piece ol paper I knew of to fall there. It bad a long fllghf-half way across the city of Mew York and across the Hudson and It came direct tome. This bit of burnt paper, which was enclosed In the letter, was about the size of the bottom of a mucilage bottle, and directly across its face, in the center, was printed in bold-face type the name of "W. O. Smith." Of coarse it was a mere coincidence, but a very uncanny one. Perhaps, as old Granny Grumpklns used to say, it may be the sign of a token. Who knows? At all events were we soon to quit this mortal frame in any violent or unexpected way, superstitious people would believe that this little bit of paper, which floated away from the burning telegraph building, was obliging enough to augur the event to oar brother. BITTEN BY A SHAKE. The Parent Awakened by ibe Cries of Their Infant Child. From the Morgantown New Dominion, 1 John Carroll lives on Trace creek with bis wife and Infant child, two miles from Hamlin. Sunday night the little family retired to bed as usual, the bed sitting la a corner of the room next the wall, the latter being built of logs and the cracks closed with boards. At 2 o'clock in the morning the parents were awak ened by the cries of the child which complained of its hand. Lighting a lamp the parents dis covered a small incision on the child's baud bleeding, and surmising at once that a snake had Inflicted the wound, applied the mouth of a bottle filled with turpentine to the wound and were soon rewarded by seeing a greenish substance issue from the wound. Mrs. Carroll instituted a harried search about the bed and discovered what she at first supposed to be a mouse's nest behind a board on the wall. Patting her hand on the crevice sue qujcKly withdrew it, when the horrid copper colored head of a snake reared up a hideous slgbt in the pale light. Seizing an axe the terrified mother struck the reptile a blow, severing the bead from the body. Meanwhile the child's- arm began to swell and turned black. The agonized father ran for a horse and taking the child in his arms, galloped to Hamlin through the darkness ana roused ap Dr. Thicker. The doctor immediately administered such power ful antidotes for poison as the child could re ceive and soon had the satisfaction of seeing the death-dealing poison injected from the fang of the snake being counteracted. A H0BB0B TO TSES. The Bishop of Manchester Speaks on Effem inate Men and Maacallne Women Speaking at Preston, the Bishop of Manches ter said: Yon all know that women cannot bear an eifeminate man. Laughter. Very well, then, you ought easily to know that men cannot bear a masculine woman. Renewed laughter. Wben a woman puts on the collars and caffs, the caps and the waistcoats of men when a woman imitates the manly stride, and the bold, manly stare, sba becomes a horror to most of us. But some of the strong-minded sisters would say, "I don't care what men think of me; it is quite enough if I am sat isfied with, myself." Just so, and 1 venture to add that the human race will lose very little if that kind of lady continncs to be an aversion to men until she dies. "Hear, hear," and ap plause. Bnt, ahl ladles, what will happeo If yoa all one of these fine days take ap that rolef Ibelieveitwoold be one of the most awful calamities that could befall the human race. For what does antagonism between the" sexes mean? It means the abandonment of a large extent of marrlaget it means to a large extent the abandonment of the foundation of home tbo true source ot all the virtue, all the grace, all the strength and all the happiness of human life. Ladles, ba sore God bas committed to yoa a very sacred trust. First of all, to be the tender companions and wise counselors of the Inferior sex. Secondly, to be the embodiment of all those:graces of parity, tenderness and wisdom which in memory keep your sons noble and pore, and your daughters wise and good. You must not fall as there, whatever becomes of the small minority of your very strong-minded sisters. Now, I am In favor of the higher edu cation of women just for this reason, because 1 believe that by developing to the greatest pos sible extent the mental and moral and spiritual faculties of women yoa will make them better wives and better mothers. A BEHEFICEirr ISVEBTIOH. An Electric Cane Which la Destined to Fill a Long-Felt Want. The electric cane Is a really beneficent in vention. It consists of a cane, in the interior of which is stored a large quantity ot elec tricity. Till a spring in the handle is pressed the cane is as harmless as any other cane, but if this spring is pressed and at the same mo ment a person is touched with the ferule of the cane he receives a shock tbat will stun him for the next -0 minutes without doing him any permanent barm The same apparatus is also placed in the haadles of umbrellas and of la dles' parasols. With this Invention a man can protect him self not only from assault, but from casual bores. A robber demands your purso as you are walking borne at night. Yon simply touch him, accidentally, as it were, with the end of your cane, and then proceed slowly and peace fully on jour way. leaving him stretched on the pavement. Or a bore buttonholes you. ignorant tbat you carry an eleotrlc umbrella. Presently the bore drops Insensible on the pavement, and yoa leave him to the carious Inspection of the public knowing that presently a policeman will apnear to arrest him on a charge of drunk enness or apoplexy. The name ot the inventor of this inestimable weapon is not yet known, but he is sure to reap the gratitude of every intelligent man and woman in civilized lands. An Enjoynblo Lawn Fete. The lawn fete given last evening by the Y. P. S. C. E., of the Mt. Washington Baptist Church, at the home of Mr. W. T. Bowris, was a yory enjoyable affair. The spacious lawns were brilliantly illuminated with Chlnesu lan terns that gave their usual picturesque and quaint effect The snpper was delightful, and the guests Ttero in their merriest moods. IN THE PARK. You think me a tramp, young feller, I know. And yon reckon I hain't no right to this seat; You're a-wonderin' why 1 don't get up and go, And leave the bull pars: to yerself for a treat. Well, a tramp's what I am; I don't deny that; And that's Jest the reason I'm taaln' a rest; With a coat that's too big, and a number nine hat. And shoes I could swim In, I'm doln' my best, I know it's no joke to touch sHonlders with me, Ferticklerly when you've got clothes that fit; And how you kin stand it, I'm blest If I seel in tbat streaked "blazer" yer quite a "hit." Good clothes is becomln'. of course, that's true; But they sometimes make ye stuck on yerself, Don't let 'em get In their "flne work" on yon. Some day, ye know, they're laid on the shelf. You'd hardly believe I had 'em once, too; A-seeln' me sit here like Misery's twin; It seems jest a dream I was ever like yon. With friends and a borne to be happy in. And I didn't lose 'em through gamblln' or gin, They went in a night like a tale that's told- The spoil or a friend I trusted in, W'ho trlcl-ed mo ol wife, and honse, and gold. 'JThe way of the world, " perhaps you say; Hat somehow I never took heart again, 1 lost my grip, and you tee me to-day. The sport and Jest of my fellow-men. Have you ever thought, when the shadows fall O'er the busy street and the quiet park, Ol the feeling of those with no home at all, In the silent, cheerless, pitiless dark? Do yoa wonder, then, on a glad, bright day, 'Mid trees that beckon and breezes that kiss, Isliould want to pass a few hours away, W hen the night is so different from all this? That's why I'm here, 'neath the beautiful blue, I haln'tnowhcre else to go to, you see. Remember what's only a notiou with yoa Is pretty near Besveu to fellows like me, ft Uovsard &eety in TexOtlSlftingi AMERICA ABROAD. Odds and Ends of lha Lnat Forelcn Mnll A New English Resort Max O'Rell'a Joke on a Publisher A Cole Yonnjr Actress Brown-Seqaard's Elixir Surprises Pari sians. 'J'he Americans evidently appreciate the beauties of Derbyshire. Daring a recent visit I found Matlock Bath thronged with citi zens of the United States, who, instead of pro ceeding direct to London when they arrive at Liverpool, "switch off," as they put It, on to the Midland Railway, and spend a few days amid the lovely wooded bills and verdant dales of what is frequently termed the "English Switzerland." The drive from Matlock Bath to Buxton, through the old town of Bakewell, passing the High Tor, the Heights of Abraham, Haddon Hall (the old residence of the "Kings of the Peak"), is one of the most enchanting in England. Matlock Bath is a convenient and picturesque center for tourists. A glance at the register of the New Bath and Royal Hotels revealed the fact that the greater part of the arrivals were from America. A hill In front of the New Bath has been converted into a de lightful garden of terraces, and amid yews and larches, elms, mountain ash, and stately oaks are artistically planned parterres glowln with flowers. Standius on a pretty knoll of this gar den, on a hillside beneath the shada of a luxuriant copper-beech, and surveying the scene the blight little Derwent river dancing along the valley below 1 thought I never be held a more entrancing landscape. I remember nothing in Switzerland, the Tyrol, qr about the Italian lakes to surpass It lo its combination ot rock and wood, in sylvan and romantic beauty. It is not to be wondered at that the American tonrlst is la no hurry to get away from Mat lock, a Mr. BInckay Cnteri to Royalty. T AST week Mrs. Mackay gave a concert in honor of Princess Louise. Her guests ar rived early to secure places, but ber Royal Highness did not pat la an appearaaca nntll nearly midnight, and Mrs. Mackay had com menced proceedings. Princess Louise has a far more genuine love of musio. than the average society lady, so begged the performers to begin the programme "aliover again." The artists obeyed the royal desire, bat the masic was consequently prolonged into early morn ing. Mrs. Mackay bas made her house one of the most popular In London. In the audience were Earl and Countess Kilmorey, the Countess of Romney. Lady Florence Marsham and many other people of note in society. Max O'Rell'a Little Joke. MOT long ago Max O'Rell who is jnst now summing up in England the results of bis observations during the uast season in Ameri ca told me of an amusing -experience he bad had with book pirates of the States. He wrote a series of sketchy papers on the Gallic people in bis racy vein for a London periodical. Gil bert's reference to the French race in one of bis librettos abont that time furnished the vivacious Haneur with a title. He christened the papers "That Darned Mounseer.'" An American dook pirate promptly coueuea ana prodnced the papers in cheap form, and they eojoyed a good sale. Now comes tbejokel At the request of his English publisher, O'Rell some time after consented to make a book of the sketches, and ho rccbristened them "Jacques Bonbomme." Thereupon the enter prising pirate promptly reprinted the volume. When he learned that he had gone to the ex pense of duplicating the book be had stolen once before and had the electrotype plates of, bis feelings may be Imagined. Even the pirates may get "left" wben they dispense with the little formality of reading the foreign works they intend to steal. a Plenae Remember This. '"THE American, journals, in speaking of the marriage of the author of "Aunt Jack," print his name as Lawson. Those who have roared at the comical situations of the amusing play in question, tbat the name of the author is Mr. Ralph Lumley, and that he bas several new plays in preparation, wblch in due course will be seon in New York. Mr. Lnmley is the son of Mr. H. R. Lumley. the editor of the Court Journal, who was one of the first journal ists in England to write and print the pungent society paragraphs which are nowadays nopa larly associated with the World and Truth. Years before either of these journals was founded, Mr. Lumley bad a "Metropolitan On Dits" department, in which he wrote, and con tinues to write, many "snappy" lively com ments on current events. Another Shrewd Actress. A young lady of fair ability named Olga Brandon played a nnmber of parts a few years ago on the American stage. She had a pretty fce, and to that interesting fact she owed such tolerance as ber bistrionic efforts were accorded. Even this recommendation to managerial and public favor, however, palled for a time, and then she found engagements few and far between. In this extremity the young lady did a sensible and business-like thing. She bought a steamer ticket to Europe, and settled down in London. For several months little was beard of her. Then her name began to appear among the dramatic para graphs; before long it bad become tolerably familiar to the British playgolng public. It was not that she did anything to attract notice the paragraphers obligingly busied them selves in proclaiming what sbe might, could, should or would-' do to attract it, and in ber case tbat was more to the purpose Having become something of a local notoriety, the shrewd young lady next proceeded to pro care appearances at matinees, and the scribes quick to perceive the fruition of a talent that had concealed itself from the scrutiny of the critics on the other side of the water discov ered that she was gifted with rare powers, and extolled her merits to the 8l,les. bhe has now secured a prominent position on the London Stage, and is regarded as an actros of extraor dinary promise. Offers and engigements have been made ber within the past few weeks bv several American managers, who are bid ding agninst ono another with a recklessness approaching tbat sometimes observed wben a Sarticularly desirable "lot" is put under the ammer by an auctioneer. Four time the amount her English manager Is paying her at the present moment is freely offered by the competitors, while she, profiting by a full sense of ber opportunity, waits patiently until tbo most attractive figure is reached. Brown-rqnnrd nnd tbe Parisians. J-jb. Bbow-Skqtjabd's therapeutic process of rejuvenating man has again been dis cussed in Paris society and the press, in oonse auence of Dr. Goizet's successful treatment of ... ... . .uaJ n,t.A a man for paralysis Dy me new mouuu. .mo man, aged 60, was almost helpless, and Dr. Goizet had given up all hopes of curing him. The patient himself also despaired; but having read of the discovery of Dr. Brown-Sequard, ho asked Dr. Goizet to see whatffect that method would have on him. He was, accord ingly, inoculated 12 times in as many days, and now he is able to walk about. If there bo no exaggeration in this statement, it is certainly a wonderful method, and one which will excite far more cariosity not only among medical sci entists but to the wholo ailing world. It Dr. Brown-Sequard cau really go as far as he says, and give old ags tho energy of youth, his name will co aown to posterity is the greatest thera peutic discoverer the present century has known. But,even without goiugso far as tbat,lf his method cau cure paralysis.as Dr. Goizet as serts it does, evea thtu he will deserve well of tbe profession of which he has so long been a distinguished member. Ho Elves to Ei lay HIi Riches. TJALDwnf, of parachute notoriety, bas set " tied down in America, where he is living quietly on the rortuno he made In England. During the two years and a half which he spent in this country he gained 30,000, it .is said. At the Alexandria Palace be received 100 for every ascent he made. This was always paid to him in solid cash, and be never went up until the two stout bags containing it had been brought into his tent on tho ground, where Mrs. Baldwin divided her thoughts between them and her nervous anxiety for the fate of her husband. Baldwin hlmseu never exnenenceu a tremor in maklnghis perilous aerial journejfi. On the evening after his last ascent he tore his balloon and parachute to tatters, gave a cham pagne supper to his friends, and resolved to rlBk his life uo more. Scrape and Personalities. Lieutenant Hamilton Hutohins,U.S.N., who recently met with a serious accident at Gibraltar, is now in a4 comfortable condition in an English naval hospital. Mb. Hobacb Sedoeb, of tho Prince of Wales' Theater, has gone to the United States on a tour of observation before opening tbe Lyric Theater in September. Mb. David Dudley Field will bead the delegation of the American Peace Society to tbe Universal Peace Uongress that opens at Westminster Hall on July U. It was an American, it seems, who stole the Duke of Edinburg's jewels. His name is Stephen Smith; he hails from Chicago; and be proclaimed himself a barber out of work. Tub Americans in Paris now use the word Elfflesque to indicate anything very high, as Londoners say ode is Rimmeliferons it the perfume on one's moucboir is too pronounced. X HEAB that the Atchison Railway has created a new outlet to Liverpool for grain from Kansas. The route extends to Galveston,, Tex., and thence by vessel to the great Lancashire port. Mb. CAblos Potteb db Gabmo, an Ameri can stopping at tbe Hotel Continental, Paris, at tbe time of the Mario Gagnol murder, was rtoorted by tbe Paris, Gaulols, Justice, Petit Caporat, and VEgaXite as having been arrested on suspicion of being the assassin. Mr, De Garmo bas brought suit against these papers forUbel, laying damages of 23,000 franca on each. Above Petty National Prldo. From the .Norwich Bulletin. The spectacle of a nation like the United States permitting its own mercantile navy to depend upon the good-natured benevolence of Brazil and New South Wales is ooe calculated to make a few Mugwumps happy and to make most other Americans feel IILe hiding their heads in shame. A Wild Exacseratlon Exposed. From tbe Boston Journal. J The returns already made from Maine and Kansas, each a representative State of its sec tion, Indicate tbat tbe actual amount of mort gage indebtedness is hardly more than a quar ter of the inflated estimates which have found currency In the free trade press. THE FEDERAL ELECTIOH BILL. Philadelphia Public, Ledger: That Henry W. Grady bas departe d this life wonld bo plainly manifest even if not well' known to anyone who reads the Atlanta Constitution's threat to "boycott" Northern trade If the Federal elections bill shall be passed by Con gress. Louisville Courier Journal: The force bill that created so much excitement in the first months of 1875 bad this In common with tbe bill of 1S90, that it was a wholly unwar rantable interference with self-government la tbe States. Both bills are based upon tbe idea, or we should rather say upon the pretext, that the Internal affairs of the States may be better regulated from Washington than by the State Legislatures or the people themselves. St. Louis Republic: In any view of the case, threats of a boycott are nonsensical and childish. The remedy of the Southern States against oppressionlles In the achievement of their Industrial Independence through sonnd business methods which will win where emo tional clack and threats fall. The future of the South is not to be achieved by politicians. It must be worked out by ber business men, coolly and i calmly. The West can and will help. Chicago Tribune: The difficulty with the Southern memDers Is that they have no valid argument against tbe law. It does not Inter fere with any rights of a State, for it deals with elections for Federal offices only, which are created by tho Constitution, and therefore properly under the control of the National Government. Having no sound reasons. Southern members are forced to talk twaddle, as Mr. Calbertsoa does, and to assert that "Southern prosperity" is of such an abnormal character that honesty at elections, a fair vote, and a fair count will do it harm. Chicago Inter-Ocean: Tbe pending bill has nothing whatever to do with home role. Local and State elections are wholly outside the scope of Federal supervision. However un just it is to deny the Republicans of the South a voice in home rule tbe National Government cannot Interfere, provided the State govern ment is Republican in form. Bat whea it comes to the election of members of Congress the General Government has a right of super vision, and that right should be exercised wberever. North or South, such supervision is necessary to honest Congressional elections. Cincinnati Enquirer: Tbe South bas suf fered much; and petulance and even anger may well be excused to it. And yet it seems to the carefal student ol current events as if there was never a greater call upon it for prudence and self-restraint. The great body of North ern people are earnest In dislike of this bill. It would be mournful for this country if threats and bellicose -attitudes were to resur rect ancient differences and rouse once more a sectional antagonism. In the midst of wblch the welfare of our common country should be wholly forgotten. Philadelphia Times: ,Any law that turns legitimate capital from a'ny section, mast be inherently wrong and certainly mischievous. There is not one intelligent and fair-minded business man la Philadelphia who does not sin cerely deolore the Introduction of tbe force election bill, and if it shall be passed nnder the party whip, the business men of this Republi can city will enter their protests in thunder tones at the November election. Lecompton force measures made Democratic Philadelphia Republican in 1858; force election measures would make Republican Philadelphia Demo cratic in 1890. Business wants peace. HEETOTG WITH GBEAT SUCCESS. The Cumberland Valley Snnday School As sembly nt Cnrllalr. ISrXCTAI, TELIOBAJI TO TBE DISPATCH.! Cablisle, Pa., July 27. Tho seveath an nual meeting of the Cumberland Valley San day School Assembly, now in session at Williams' Grove, so far bas been tbe most suc cessful ever held at thatjieautif ul grove. The morning session was opened with devotional services, followed with the teachers' normal section, conducted by Rev. H. B. Dobner, of LancastPr, Pa. "Seven Millions of Roman Catholics In the United States: Cand They be Reached and Sivedr" was tbe title of a lecture delivered bv Rer. Justin D. Fulton. D. D of Brooklyn, N. Y. Bible normal section bv tbe Rev. George B. Stewart, of Harrisburg. Then followed children's hour. Illustrated lecture. "Lessons or Wisdom from Llitle Things," by Rev. R. H. Gilbert, Principal primiry lnstruo tioo by Mrs. Ella C. Logan, of Dillsbarg. Pa. Lecture, -"Japan aud the Japanese." by Rev. Irvin H. Correll, of Japan, followed with Cbantauqa Round Table vesper service and question box. This evening on illustrated lecture entitled "Tramp Through Switzerland" as delivered by tbe Rev. W. L. Davidson and was largely attended. To-morrow is closing day and an in teresting programme has been arranged for tbe occasion. A Long Wnra Offi From tbe Indianapolis Barn's Born.l The time may come when politics will mean all that is noble and good; when a small boy will break an apple in two and give bis little sister the biggest half: when a tramp will work and a stray dog won't bite, but tbe day will never dawn when a fly can tickle a drowsy man's nose without making him jump. Leu Dreaa Parailr. From the St. Louis Globe-Democrat.! Tbe Ohio Republicans are not issuing so many pronunciamentos as they did last year, and are not called upon to make so many apol ogies or explanations. FIGS AND THISTLES. No man ever had a good thought in bis life that was not prompted by tbe Spirit ot God. If your thoughts leave God it will not be long until your bands will be raised against Him. Very few people ever And out this side of the grave how much of the devil they bave in tbem. Evert community is crowded with people who want tho best in everything, except re ligion. Blessed are tbe merciful. Don't forget It wben you have a mortgage on tbe property of a widow, A KAN who hasn't got religion enough to bold him level in a horse trade will bear watch ing everywhere. Baby sins look harmless, but they only need time enough to grow up, and they will raise a family of other sins. A loapeb is a good deal like a cork that has been pushed Into a bottle. It does no good where it is, and Isn't worth flsblng-out. If vou are stingy and mean in money matters, get down under the cross of Christ and stay there until tbe blood reaches your pocketbook. Whbn Jesus entered Jerusalem He drove out tbe money changers, bat tbe great anxiety among many preachers to-day is to get them In again. To be zealous of good works don't mean to hold down a store box and whittle while your wife is at home bard at work trying to make a living, The man with the fattest pocketbook doesn't always smoke tbe best cigars nor wear the finest clothes. It's tbe man who can least afford the cost who wears tbo refldMtnoie, Ram's Born, ' CUEIOUS CONDENSATIONS. In the handle of the newest tennis rackets is a place for a tiny bottle of smelling salts, which the fair players use to invigorate themselves. One o7 the Berlin hotels was lately robbed by two persons in the garb of nuns. Tbey were subsequently apprehended and one ot the "women" was discovered to be a man. A Charlestown" lady became quite sick the other day and vomited a small live fish. Sbe does not know when it passed down her throat, but supposes It did so with a drink of water. Captain Tillman, the leader of the farm ers' movement in South Carolina, is 43 years of age. blind of one eye. pays taxes on l.bOO acres of land, runs 20 plows and has a dairy supplied by 40 thoroughbred Jersey cows. A big herd of camels has been seen on tbe plains near Harrisbarg. Cal. One of them was caught and taken into a camp, but had to bo killed, as every horse and mule went crazy at tbe sight of the strange beast. This is the way the great beast of Africa goes to his extinction. An ordinary elephant produces 120 pounds of ivory, worth $300. Eu gland consumes 650 tons, for which it is neces sary to kill 12,000 elephants a year. There is a large farm in Mississippi in which there is only one old whip, and tbat is not used. The owner will not permit the whip to be used on any of the stock, and the farm does well and the animals work with a will without feeling the lash. The Russian saloon for tea drinking is a'n interesting feature of life in Russian cities. The waiters are attired in white from head to foot, with alarge black parse at tbe waist, and are all men. Tea is drank alone or with lemon, and the sugar eaten from the band. Eleven or 15 caps are not too many for an old tea drinker. Alexander Jacques, a French fasting man, bas begun an attempt to beat the record la London. He propoes to remain for 12 days without any food, except a powder of secret composition. He says be sustained himself and bis comrades for many days on this pow der while be was a soldier and the Germans were besieging BelforC Dissatisfied with the census enumera tion, the Business Men's Association, of Han nibal, Mo., employed two competent men to make a recount of tbe Second ward, the small est ward in the city. Tbe Government enum erator returned the population of the ward at 1.976, The recount, which was concluded on Thursday, makes the population 2,18, a gain of 4SZI Weldless tubes of steel are now made in Germany by the Mannesmann process, out of solid bars. A pair of rolls revolve at the rate of 200 or 300 revolutions a minute. A bar of hot and therefore plastic steel is delivered to them, and by their action it is stretched, and a hollow is made In the center. Tbe tubes made by this process are peculiarly strong and light, A warning against undue physical ex ertion by those not accustomed to it is con tained in the remark of the chief surgeon of the National Soldiers' Home at Dayton, O. This physician said tbat of tbe 5,000 soldiers In tbe home "fully 80 per cent are suffering from heart disease in some form or another, due to the forced physical exertion of their cam paigns." A Scotch writer says thai he has sprinkled wasps and bees with rose-colored powder and has found that thus handicapped they could with ease keep up with tbe fastest trains. They were not carried along by the rush of air caused by tbe train, but would en ter and leave the cars by the windows, some times disappearing for a minute or more and then returning. An argument in favor of the Pasteur inoculation against hydrophobia is supplied by the cases of four persons who were bitten by the same dog at Stalybridge, England. Three were treated by M. Pastenr. and have appar ently recovered. The fourth was treated by the chief constable of Clitberoe. who claimed to have a remedy for tbe disease, and be bas since died of hydrophobia. Some time since, while a woodsman was engaged in catting sawlogs a few miles from Oakland, Md., be felled a tree in tbe center of which, about ten fact from its base, a live frog was found which, when liberated from its wooden onson. hooped off as lively as though it baa not been a prisoner for perhaps 25 years. Tbe tree was more than a foot in diameter where the frog was found. The owners of all cabs in Paris have been notified to supply their vehicles with counters before April 1 next. Tbe counter Is to indicate at every moment tbe distance traveled, the boar and tbe amount doe. When tbe cab is in motion the fare will increase in proportion to the distance gone over, and wben tbe vehicle is standing still it will rise as if the cab were traveling eight kilometres an hour. A retired plumber thus gives a point for the gratuitous relief of householders: "Just before retiring at night pour into the clogged pipe enough liquid soda lye to fill the 'trap' or bent part of the pipe. Be sure tbat no water runs in It uutihthe next morning. During the night the lye will convert all tbe offal into soft soap, and tne first current of water iu themorn isg will wash it away and clear the pipe Ciean as new." The Davison Index tells about Harland Moore, who brought ap from tbe cellar a pan of potatoes, and when his wife began to pre pare some ot tbe tubers for tbe next morning's breakfast sba sawthe bead of a snake protrude from those 'taters. She promptly decapitated bissnakesbip and threw the writhing remains out of ihe window, and did not go into a faint over the adventure. It proved to be a rattler, eight feet long with seven well developed rattles. A A young woman in Parkersburg, "W. Ya., recently advertised for a husband and re ceived numerous answers, to the writer of ona of which a St. Louis man sbe became en gaged. A time was set for the weading, but before it arrived tbe groom met with an acci dent by which he lost a leg. Bat she was a woman of ber word, and after his recovery they were married, blio recently wrote home that ber husband was engaged in steady employ ment and was a good man. A clever swindle is being practiced in Stamford, Conn., by means of a double foun tain pen. one end of which is filled with good, substantial ink, tbe other with Ink that fades away in a day or two. The sharper writes bis agreement, contract or whatever particular lay he may have chosen with tbe ink tbat fades, and bis victim signs with the other end of the pen tbe ink tbat lasts. In a few davs ha has a slip of paoer with nothing on it bat a good signature, over which he writes auy sort of a note that he can most easily turn into cash. FROLICSOME FELICITY. Caller Is your father at home, Johnny? Johnny Course he Is. Didn't yon see his best salt of clothes oa the line? Ma Just washed them. Xankes Blade. Wife What do you suppose baby is thinking about? The Brnte-I 'spose he's thinking- what to cry about to-night. Lie. Charming Susan What is a thick, short neck the sign of? Dear Jones-1 give It up. I never studied necrology. Aw Xork Herald. "Why did the men strike up at the vine gar faetorv?" "Because the elder was working more than tea hoars a day." Xouth's Companion. Cobwigger What makes you think those four pups will please your wife? Young Husband-Because I'm sure she could make such a nice dojc biscuit. Life. Mr. Whacker I don't care whether you think you're right or not, Bobby; you're wrongl Bobby-Isay, papa, don't yoa think It's pretty rough toTom-lteed a fellow this way? Puck. "I was in arms all through the war and I want a pension." Youl You are uot over2S years or axe." 1 know It. I belonged to the intautry." Nuo Xort Htrala. Accepted Suitor But won't yon find it awkward, Blanche, when, yoa meet your first has band In heaven? Fretty Wldow-Mv dear George, I'm not a bit afraid of that ever bapnenlng. Chatter. Edith I'm going to marry Tom Madison. Ethel-Why, how nice, Edltnf We shall be sisters-in-law. Editb What do yoa mean? Ethel 1 promised Tom, a Tew days ajo, that I'd be a sister to him. Light. New Arrival How is it that all the girls refuse to associate with Clara Beachley ? Habltuee She spoiled our fan for the whole season. "Indeed?" "Yes. She got engaged to the only maa in the place before the season was a week old." LigKt, A POETIC REFUSAL. Fair as a rose indeed was she, And I was smitten ah, poor me I Bat whea 1 asked, "Do yoa love me. Kosa!" she eoalda't resist tbe chance sbe bad To make a rhyme although 'twas bad Bo, sailing-, she straightway aoswared, "" tit-Sew Xort Herald. - I s i. M.