The Wahpeton times. [volume], January 26, 1888, Image 3

About The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919

Image provided by: State Historical Society of North Dakota

                
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Y.y founder of tho American Short-liorn
HardBook, and for many years its
$uhliaber,as wellaa a broader of the
jtod roiiu^ contributes the
to thelaat Country Qentle-
ng-time friend, Judge Jones of
rather takes me to task in your
of the 8th loiL, that after more
orijyyeaire* experience as a breed*
'sir of 8hort-horn cattle, ud advocating
their exoellenoe for both iieah ud milk
uperiority in my own exclusive use,
"mild adopt cross of Guernsey bloc,
nponhlgh Short-horn grade cows tor
batter-production.
I tr^l start fair with him in his advo
cacy of the superiorityof the Short
bom over other breeds for the dairy as
Well as for flesh-production. 'Be is hon
est in it, as well from his own many
years' experience in braeding them as
in observation of the many individual
aaimala ud herds which, have passed
nnder his inspection, enabling him to
judge accurately their merits. From
the year 1831, when my' attention "was
first attracted to examine the early
herds of Short-horn cattle which had
some years previously been ftnportcd
into (ftr country, together with tho
produce descended from them, no one
has been a more cbnstant admirer of
them than myself. Their grand and
stately contour in sixe' and symmetry,
u'd color so picturesquely intermixed
in red and white roan, wholly red,
purely white, or plashed with both
colors in seperate parts on their bodies,
present a picture to the artistio eye
nnequaled by any other breed within
my knowledge. Their early maturity
in amassing flesh on the most valuable
parts of their carcass and that flesh of
the choicest quality for consumption:
the excellent daiiy qualities of the cows
in the early years of their breeding in
England, and of the cows early import
ed into our country, together with their
decendants so fostered and continued
by their breeders, filled all the require
ments demanded by their intelligent
propagators, as the beau Heal of the
bovine race.
All these qualities more or less pre
vailed—chiefly more than less—for
many years among the decendants, as
Well as among the originals from
which they sprung, down to the famous
Scioto Valley importations of 1834, '35
ud '36, as mentioned by Judge Jones.
Yet the superior qualities rapidly took
'precedence in opinion of their later
importers and breeders, particularly in
1^4
we8tern
States, over those of their
4 ^dairy qualities—the latter of less im
porfenQetb them than beef-production,
wh!8h their interests were largely
^1' ^pgaged. /Of course the milk-produc
tion 4e measurably neglected for
the, to them, more important item of
profit In the eastern States, where
the dairy interest was still looked after
%. by their breeders and owners, the dairy
t"' faculty was prepetuated, and to a con
'y'vt siderable extent still prevails, both in
thoroughbred cows and their grades
from the native or common cows of
onr country which-are scattered among
f- them. In my own practice I always
strived for such results, and measura
.j bly succeeded, both in-the quantity and
JJ* good quality of their yields.
i&rtr
ain
*orc®d to say that the
yy grand dairy as well as flesh-producing
cows from tiie famous old herd of Eog
lish breeders, Maynard, Witherall,
f. Bates, Whitaker, and others, imported
by the enterprising gentleman of New
England, New York, Philadelphia and
Baltimore have almost altogether gone
but of date and been supplanted by
those living where the predominence of
flesh over the dairy quality has been
preferred, and attracted the admira
tion and choice of spectators who have
1 seen them at our various cattle exhib
Anions throughout the country. For in
^stance, at large cattle shows—no mat
ter much where—a iirst-ciass cow of
•'yj super or milking faculty, in ordinary
working condition— and always in rath
4
er
l®an condition when so yielding her
milk—yet capable of piling on a
superb quality of meat when dried off
I and fattened, is placed by the side of
an inferior one loaded with flesh
Ip- the latter one lakes the judges' prize—
b.' for flesh in cattle, like charity,
$2^ covers a multitude of sins, al
though there are few even in the
fatter ones, but more than her dairy
fit competitor exhibits—and walks proud
ly out of the ring with the ribbon on
her horns. This Judge Jones has Been,
scores if not multitudes of times, al
though in these days no owner of a lean
'cow, with an uncommonly good dairy
backing, dares to take such a one to
the exhibition. As a sample of that
kind of prize-taking, look at the select
herds in several of onr western States,
stimulated by high feeding from calf
hood on extra nurse cows—for their
dams could not feed tiiem—the contin
uous stuffing on choice foods to suitable
ages, which have been professionally
driven from one Stato cattle show to
another, and won their exclusive prizes
over others just as good as they, bar
5- ring tiieir pampering, feeding, groom
'p fog, washing and brushing as aforsaid.
ido not much object to this extraordi
nary showing. as it exhibits the remark
able development of which the breed is
capable.
Such, therefore, is the condition of-,
my of the fashionnbte Short-horn
Jrds
of our country, with like fashion
Jble pedigrees attached to them, show
ing alT the grand characteristics of their
-race. All this is said, not derogatory
to the breed, but as the growing prac
tice of their leading propagators.' My
friend alludes to my regard for the
Bates stock, Duel)
ess and Oxford
tribes. I have always admired and
sed them for their,superior dairy
lilies, when Mr. Bates bred them.
With other good tribes in his possession,
«cU as for their tine flesh qualities
«M when oak of milk, a^njMnt
of thalr grades for tWshahibles. and
see, bytha way, lhit the judge himself
is 'sotaiewliat aSdieted. to the "Bates
blood?' in the uaeofa hlgh-bced Oxford
bull at the -.b^ in which
2 ^laud his judgmahi irhetlier milk
or, fleahbe his choioe. To sum up,
as the lawyers say, this argument, essay,
or whatever it may be called, the
Short-horns still malnt^n, in my own
opinion, all the erfeelleiioe which I have
ever awarded them, not at all detract
ing from the merits of any other bre'ed
of.cattle preferred by their several pos
sessors which have been introduced in
to oiir country, ud so zealously advo
cated by them.
ow, for my own dairy conduct,
ih Judge Jones mildly criticises,
te years ago I sold out the small,
herd of Short-horns which I had muy
years toed chiefly for the reason that,
as many of the fine herds of the kind
had left onr state to western purchas
ers, ud the daiiy interests had largely
extended among our farmers, making
Short-horns less saleable among them
than in years past, and not altogether
suitable for the butter making whioh I
had in contemplation, yet having on
hud a number of high grade Short
horn cows in use, I looked around for a
suitable breed to cross on these cows,
and on the descendents from which I
could rely for first class butter produc
tion. Of all which I have materi
ally examined I preferred the Chan
nel Island Guernseys for their greater
size, richness of milk, and the golden
color of their butter (not at all detract
ing in this choice from the value of the
Jerseys), as best suited for a market
near at hand, at considerably higher
prices above the fairly good article
from the ordinary dairies of our farms.
I bought a fine young imported Guern
sey bull, whose dam was an exception
al good butter yielder, and crossed on
"my cows. From the hoifers thus pro
duced have grown up a fine herd of
young cows, half to three-fourths in
Guernsey blood, which have answered
all my requirements in the yields of
their rich milk and superior excellence
of its butter, and the advanced prices
which I obtained for it. 1 have bred,
during the six years in which I have
used that bull, and from successors to
him of equally good blood, seventy or
eighty females, and every one of them
which has come into use from the pro
duction of her first calf, proved a satis
factory dairy cow in all the points re
quired, and the young heifers, still in
progress of growth, are equally prom
ising.
But all occupations must some time
terminate. Four score and seven years
creeping upon me, although still in
sound health, my 500-acre island farm
withiu near sight of tho city and its
steeples summer hotels, private club
manslbns.and family villas encroaching
on its boarders, and value of soil too
high for ordinary farming (half of it
recently disposed of for park and re
creative uses) my dairy work nearly
concluded and herd gradually dispers
ing, I must bid adieu to the anxieties as
well as the pleasures which an occupa
tion of uearly fifty years, from the
clearing of an almost unbroken forest
into productive acres, has progressed,
and for the few extending days allotted
me perhaps liuger over tho remaining
moietv. There, as I frequently visit it,
seated under the shadowed verandas of
the humble farm-house, gazing upon
the broad river in front and tho attrac
tive landscape of the neighboring city
and its outskirts beyond, like lonely
"Natty Bunippo" of Cooper's "Pio
neers," with his trusty rille ami faith
ful dog "Hector" by his side, on the
Catskill mountains in solitude a hun
dred years ago, 1 can quietly in a
sunny day and 'Solemnize." I trust
that my'old friend Judge Jones will not
in future regard me' as recreant to the
value and merits of the Short-horns.
An Alleged Farmer.
He is at the fairs again this year—
for we have seen him. He goes strid
ing rapidly past the stock pens, with
an occasional gaze of wonder at an
especially big cow or bull, not knowing
whether it is a Wyandotte or a Chester
White, recognizing that it is fearfully
different from anything he has ever
raised. He pauses admiringly near the
pavilion of the sideshowman, listens to
his oratory, gives him a dime and goes
inside to see the five-legged calf. When
he comes out he runs ugaiust a news
paper man, whose efforts to do any
business with him are in vain—"coz they
don't fool me on no paper—too smart
for that." Next he strikes the wheel
of fortune, makes a liberal investment
in an experience by which he fails to
profit goes oil* to another sideshow,
throws away a few nickels in trying to
ging some canes, and when his money
is nearly gone bangs the rest of the day
over the fence of the race-track,
whooping it up for the horse which
comes in ahead. When he goes home
be tells his neighbors about that five
legged calf, and has a very confused
impression of everything else except
having "kep* them newspaper fellers
from takin' him in." This fellow is
becoming less numerous every year,
bnt still is on band.—.National Slock
man.
A Personal Advertisement
Little Miss Washburn wandered quite
a distance from her country home at
a well-known sumftier resort, uot many
weeks ago, and couldn't find her way
back. But,she was not a bit dismayed.
Sli6 immediately lifted up her voice
and-shouted to the full capacity of her
lungs:
&
"I'm Grace Washburn and I'm lost!
I'm Grace Washburn and I'm lost!"
This she repeated until it reached
the ears of some one who knew where
she lived, and she was escorted home.
—Boston Budget.
Capital va Labor.
When a young man sits in the parlor
talking nonsense to hjs best girl, that's
capital. But when be has to atay in of
evenlnga after tbey an married that's
labor.' Mgt.,
MEXICAN MUMMII
Several BoOtae found Attar Cantar
lee Perfectly preeervadM
Sig. S. Marghleri arrived in tUis city
a few days ago from Mextoo^ where hef
was engaged by the Government in
making extensive amhmilagicel and
mJneralogieal researches. Be brought
with him some splendid specimens of
natural mummies. The group is oom
posed of four persona, two small chil
dren and two adult* a man and tt
woman. A rat was also found.r
The map notable for his perfect
physical proportions ud the robuit
ness of his limbs. The woman Is over
6 feet 6 inches in height and has a fine
ly moulded body ud limbs. To what
race they belong is not known, but it is
surmised that they must be of the fam
ous warrior Aztec race of the agricult
ural and primitive Voltecas. To de
cide is difficult but one thing is cer
tain, says La Voce del Popolo, and it is
that they belong to a race entirely dif
ferent from the Indians who now in
habit the region where the mummies
were discovered.
This is proven by their color, which
is almost white the fineness of .the
hair, which is marvelously well presev
ed in the woman the texture of certain
cloth, now unknown the bent positions
of the bodies, peculiar to those found
in all the tombs of the ancient Aztecs,
and the strange ornaments upon their
person,
The woman has her delicate ears
pierced with a piece of polished pre
oious wood, and in the ears of one of
the children are little pearls worked in
bone, with serpentine pieces of rare
stone as marvellously cut as if it came
from the hand of the moBt skilled
lapidary. The cords about the body
are of line material and twisted with
the reatebt skill, and seem to have been
made from the fiber of different trees
and the hair of various fur animals.
With tho bodies Sig. Marghieri found
a rat, mummified to perfection, aud it
is surmised that it may have been' a
pet in the family, like the little white
rat of our days. These pecimens men
tioned are the rarest kind, the mummi
fication having taken place by the ope
ration of natural laws and not through
the agency of ointment balms, &c., as
in the case of Egyptian mummies. In
the present instance the bodies were
preserved by some peculiar qualities of
the soil in which they were found a
soil that asorbed the gaseous substance
in the body, leaving the skin like
parchment. Under- this natural pro
cess of embalming the bodies may be
exposed to the air for any length of
time, precisely as if they were marble,
without fear of injury.—San Francisco
Examiner.
Then and Now.
"My dear," said Mrs. Popperman to
her husband one evening, "I was look
ing over a bundle of old letters to-day,
and I found this one which you wroto
to me before we were married, when
you was young and sentimental."
'•What does it say?"
"I'll read it."
"Sweet idol of my lonely heart: If
thou wilt place thy hand in mine, and
say, dear love, I'll be thy bride, we'll
fly to sunny Italy, and 'death soft,
cerulean skies we'll bask and sing and
dream of naught but love. Rich and
costly paintiugs by old masters shall
adorn the walls of tho castle I'll give
thee. Thy bath shall be of milk. A box
at the opera shall boat thy command,
and royalty shall be thy daily visitor.
Sweet strains of music shall lull thee at
eventide, and warbling birds shall wake
thee from thy morning slumber. Dost
thou except? Say yes, and fly with
me."
"And I flew." said Mrs. Popperman.
"But if I had been as fly as 1 am now,
1 wouldn't havo flown."
"Why not, dear?"
"Why not? Have you done as you
promised in that letter? When we
«vere married, did we 'fly to sunny
Italy and bask 'neath soft, cerulean
skies,' or. did we go to Hoboken and
spend two weeks fishing for eels on the
edge of the wharf?"
"Weil, yes."
"And how about the pictures? You
know very well that every rich and
costly painting in the house is a chromo
from the tea store."
"Well."
'Thy bath shall be of milk?" Do
I bathe in milk, or isn't it like pulling
teeth every morning to get ten cents
out of you to .buy milk for the baby?"
"Kinder."
"Royalty shall be thy daily visitor.'
The only daily visitor I have are the
book-agents and clam peddlers."
'Tain't my fault"
"Sweet strains of music shall lull
thee at eventide. The only chance I
have to listen to sweet strains of music
is when you and I go out walking at
night and follow a monkey and hand
organ around tho block."
"Oh, I am so sleepy."
"I don't care if you are. Where are
the warbling birds you promised me? I
hear Mrs Maginis' crowing roosters
next door every morning. Perhaps
they aro what you meant"
"Well, never mind."
"But I will mind. I was to have a
box at the opera. Where is it? Tho
only time I go to the opera, is when you
get a bill-posters' ticket to a dime mu
seum."
"it's too had."
"It is really too bad. And then you
said we'd talk and dream of naught but
love. Since I mnrr ed you we've talk
ed and dreamt of naught but rent
Good-night, sir." and Mrs. Popperman
uirned osit the gas and jumped into
bed, le:ivinr Mr. Popperman to bark
his sh iim against the bureau In trying
to gro|e to bed in the dark.— Boston
Herald.
What the Country Needs.
A Texas woman haa invented a p!e
safe, but that is not what thia country
is aching for. A safe pie is the howl
ing need] of the hour.—JfintMopoftt
Jottr-aL
Historical Loxa, ..
Bluketa' were lint made in England
in 18401
The knitting of lace originated in
Germuy about the middle of the six
teenth century.
Two hundred and fifty thousud per
sona periahed in Antioch by the earth
quake of 58S.
Alum was first discovered at Booha
in Syria in 1300 in Tuscuy, 1460 in
Ireland. 1757 ud in Anglesea, 1790.
Astronomy was cultivated in Egypt
and Chaldea2800 B. C. in Persia, 3209
in India, 3101, ud in China, J295&
The invention of atereotype printing
belonga to William Gid, a Scotch gold
smith, Who first designed method
at Edinburg in 1736.
The Saraoena introduoed the sugar
cane into the islands of the Mediter
raneu ud old Spain. Hence it was
conveyed to the Canaries ud the West
Indies.
Calico was prohibited as wearing ap
parel in Englud from 1700 to 1721,
oambrio for wear in 1745, and its use
for any purpose totally prohibited in
1758.
Demosthenes, the most admired of
Greek orators, died by his own hand
322 B. C., at the age of fifty-nine years,
to save himself from Antipater. His
was the fervid, patriotic tongue that
aroused the Greek republics against
Macedon.
On Feh. 17, 1571, Marcby Hill, near
Hereford, Englaud, began to move,
bearing with it the cattle, trees and
hedges on its surface. It con
tinued in motion for two days,
overthrowing a chappie that lay
in its path, and leaving, where
it formerly stood, a chasm forty feet
deep and thirty long. A similar phe
nomenon happened in Dorsetshire in
1583.
The Crimean War opened Oct- 4.
1853, when Turkey declared war
against Russia. England and Franco
concluded a treaty of alliance with
Turkey, March 12, 1854, after two
years of strife between the Muscovites
and the allies, hostilities were suspen
ded Maroh 1, 1856, an armistice was
signed on March 10, and March 30 the
treaty of peace was signed at Paris,
Domestic Wine Making.
Hon. R. W. Furnas, of Nobraska, in
his journal, Western Resources, tells
how to make wine for home use as fol
lows:
"The process is as simple as to make
cider. Pure grape juice should, and
usually docs, possess all the requisite
properties to make good wine. Differ
ent varieties of grapes produce differ
ent wines. The common Concord of
tho west makes a very light, mild,
pleasant, excellent wine. The Ives
Norton and darker polored grapes
make a stronger and loss palatable
wine. Different tastes, however re
quire different wines, or the taste can
be educated. To make the best wino
from any variety, the grape should
bang on the vine as long as possible,
until as the saying is, "dead ripe." Be
fore grinding, all imperfect berries or
impurities should be removed. Some
leave the berry on the stem, others
stem them, using nothing but the berry.
Those using the stem claim more tan
nin is obtained from them than other
wise. We prefer the clean, pure berry.
Grind so as to mash the fruit well but
not to crush the seeds. Let the pumice
stand in tub, barrel or vpt as the case
may be, for twenty-four hours, or until
fermentation is well commenced.
Press out the juice and put in
a clean jug, keg, or barrel. Lay over
the bung-hole or opening a small sack
of clean sand heavy enough to hold it
in place. The vessel should not be full.
In this condition- first fermentation
takes place. The sand-bag permits
effervescent escape at the same time
excludes the air. which would, if ad
mitted. result in acetate acidity. After
fermentation ceases fill the vessel full,
bung up tight, and put away in cellar
or cave whore as even temperature, can
be obtained as poss ble, and leave un
disturbed for three months. Then draw
off carefully without disturbing sedi
ment, and bottle "for use." After this,
the older the better. Everything con
nected with this work must be scrupu
lously clean and neat. All vessels must
be sweet and pure. That in which the
wine is put away should bo fumigated
with sulphur. No foreign element of
any kind should enter into making
good wine, except possibly slight
leaven, to produce quick fermentation.
Wo do not claim to be a wine-maker.
This simple method we have practiced
for years, producing wines pronounced
by connoisseurs as most excellent, and
give it for what it is worth."
The juices of other fruits, as cur
rents, berries, pie plant etc., can be
made into a domestic wine by the same
treatment
A Beautiful Experiment
The following beautiful chemical ex
periment may be easily performed to
the great astonishment of many at a
party. Tako two or three leaves of red
cabbage cut them into small bits, put
them into basin, and pour a pint of
boiling water on tliem let it stand an
hour, then pour off the Iiqu din a de
canter. It will be of a fine, blue color.
Then take four wine-glasses into one
put six drops of strong vinegar nlo
another six drops of solution of sod i:
into a third the same quantity of a
strong solution of alum, and let tlio
fourth glass rematy empty. The glass
es may be prepared some time before,
and the few drops of colorless liquid
that have been placed in them will not
be noticed. Fill up the glasses from
the decanter, and the liquid poured into
the glass containing acid will quickly
become a beautiful red the glass con
taining the soda will be a fine green
that ponred into the empty one will
rema nnohanged. Bv adding a little
vinegar to the green, it will immedi
ately chuge to a red, and on a Ming a
little solution of soda to th'i red it will
aasnma a fine gre«n, tbus showing the
of aclda and alkal ee on vetb
p—Orffcye.Aprf*.
ProtootUm to Stack*
An immense loaa in the aggregate is
sustained each year from ihjnry to hay
from imperfeot stacking, or from fail
ure to provide needed oover or protec
tion to stacks. First, a few words on
the subject of stacking. The great
point in building a stffek is to keep
the middle so full that Mien the stack
la settled the inclination will be tram
the center to the outside, and never
from the outside to the center. In
such case, though the stack may be
well topped out, the water in along
contln ued beating falling. upon the
outside Will penetrate the body of the
stack. The stacker's place should al
ways be as near the center of the stMk
as may be and care should be taken
not to tramp the outsidM as they are
built up. In such case the middle will
be built up the solidest, and though
bearing the greatest weight will settle
the least. There is little trouble in
stacking prairie hay, either upland
or slough, so that it will keep
The difficulty increases when
we come to timothy, and still more so
with clover, which latter can never be
made safe from injury except by a pro
tection of some kind. Where stacking
hay on the farm is. a permanent
business, to be continued from year to
year, it is doubtless economy to build
roofed hay sheds, using telegraph poles
set in the ground for posts and a board
roof, boarding the gables and Aides
down four to six ^ot below the eavos,
and leaving the rest open. But where
timothy or clover Is stacked in the
open ground, however experienced a
stacker may be employed, it is safer to
top out with straw or slough hay, let
ting such covering como well down
over the shoulder of the stack. Can
vas covers, though valuable to protect
stacks of hay or grain while building,
and for use in threshing, and for many
other purposes on the farm are too ex
pensive to be used permanently as stack
covers and exposed to the effects of the
weather. They are valuable, and every
farm should have a reasonable supply
of them.
Tho value of hay for feeding purpo
ses depends upon the digestible nutrit
ive propert es it contains. Aud these
depend upon its kind, its time of cutting,
manner of curing and the way it is kept
after being cured. All the first-named
conditions may be complied with,' and
the hay go into the stock in fino condi
tion. only to there lose a large percent
age of its value because the stack is im
properly built, and has no extra protec
tion from the effects of tho beating rain
storms.—Practical Farmer.
The Queer Things We Eat.
The French are notoriously addicted
to frogs, which command a high price
in now York, also, where they sell the
large bullfrogs, sometimes weighing
half a pound, as well as the tender lit
tle green animal (rana esculenta),
whose hind legs taste so like delicate
chicken when served with whito sauce
in restaurants and hotels of Paris or
Vienna. Of course frogs do not escape
tho Chinese, who devour everything
with blood and fibre aud the negroes
of Surinam eat the loathsome Surinam
toad. Monkeys are also considered
good eating in somo countries. Afri
can epicures are never more charmed
than when they cau dine off a highly
seasoned, tender, young monkey baked
gipsy fashion in the oarth. The great
red monkey, the spider monkey, and
the howling monkey are all eaten by
the various peoples among whom thejr
aro found. The flesh of tho monkey
is said to be both nutritious and pleas
ant.
The American panther and the wild
cat of Louisiana are said to be excel
lent eating, so is the puma, which is so
like veal in flavor that one hardly
knows the difference. Lion's flesh,
too, is almost identical with veai in
color, taste and texture. Bears' paws
were long a Germany delicacy, and the
flesh is held equal or superior to pork,
the fat beiug as white as snow. The
tongue and hams are cured, but the
head is accounted worthless and thrown
away. The badger tastes like wild
boar. The Australian kangaroo is not
much inferior to venison, and kanga
roo tail soup is better than half the
messes which pass in London under
the name of ox-tail soup.Hashed
wallaby is a dish no one need disdain,
and thero is a small species of kanga
roo as good as any liaro ever cooked.
In some countries even th£ fik is
considered a delicacy in tho Atretic
regions, where fresh meat is stftrce,
when judiciously made into a pie, Vk. la
considered equal to any rabbit under
the same conditions, even bred on the
Sussex downs. But, strange to say,
the Esquimaux dogs, which will devour
almost anything else, will not touch
fox. Cats and dogs readily find pur
chasers and consumers in Cli ina. where
tbey are hung up in tho butchers'
shops, together with badgers tasting
like wild boar and other oddities of
food.—Yankee Blade.
A Bachelors Advice.
"I am going to get married." said a
young traveling man to a bach lor fr end.
"Indeed, Well, I wisii you muiili joy
and (Tust that you realize the responsi
bility you are about to undertake."
"Yes, sir I think I realizu the re
sponsibility. I have settled down, and
changed mv habits very much."
••That's right. Spend vour evenings
at home and read good solid books."
"What would you recommend?"
'1 think 'Paradise Lost' would be the
best thing yon could take for a start
er."—Merchant Traveler.
A Professional.
"Boantifnl!''said the drum mer. "Six
ty birds in two hours and only miss
ed two shots,"
"Allow me to*cohgratulateyon," said
a bystander^ "I Am a professional my
self."
"Profewfcnaj'si
ki"'"
"No pmfesaiOanlliar. I am an agent
of a Milwaukee insurance co «»p*ny"
"Oh!"_aiiJd the (Irummer. "Unit set
ties it IjmjMrawfrom eompelitioiL
•£.
.£jb«.
"A»
m.
TheGreat Irish Editcfc
"And howfe do^ yon- find thug* in
Cuitda this springPV 1 asked Mr.
O'Brien, the gnat Irish agitator, when
he.was visiting this country, says Bill'
Nye, in The New -York World, as he
aatfnu upholatered ohair that must
have cost 913.
"And what thitaga do you refer to?"
asked Mr. O'Brien,, with great inge
nulty.
"Why,, most uything," I said, play
fully. "How's things? How do' yon
find thlngsf Ort did people bring them
to yon?" I added, with a oertain kind
of grim humor,, as I nibbled thought
fully at a cold foul which the hotel
authorities had just sent up. "How
do.yon like the free and unfettered
way in which the people have turned
out en masse ud walked on yon?"
"O. I dislike it, of course said Mr.
O'Brien, as be watched me thought
fully while I hung the wishbone en the
gas-fixture and daintily wiped my fin*
gers on my late hair, in order to show
J*hn that we are just as neat and care
ful in our personal habits here as we!
would be if we lived under an effete
monarchy with proud flesh in it "Had
I thought that Canada would greet me
in the way she did, caving in my tho
rax with paving-stones and planting
large new lumps all over my person, I
do not know that. I would hay© visited
the Dominion'4 at all, but I got a good
many subscribers and several orders
for j^t/jvArK which I will tako home
with me to-morrow."
"I suppose your paper has a policy,
Mr. O'Brien," said I, languidly read
ing a letter which lay on tho table.
"Do you have a policy for your paper
or do you print it by hand?"
"O, but you know there is no simi
larity iu the two propositions. The pol
icy of a paper and the mechanical part
of it in Ireland is two separate and dis
tinct details involving—the one, of
course, the sentiments, the other, the
mere details of the work."
"Well, letting that pass, do you havo
to contend against the interstate com
merce law where you are, O'Brien, or
do you, when you start out after a
landlord, take your shotgun and ride
perfectly fiee and untrammeled."
"We havo no interstate commerce
law over there over there," said Mr.
O'Brien, dropping into tho words of an
old hymn very naturally. "But we do
not have the time that 1 would like in
which to write editorials. We do not
rely so much on our circulation, though,
as you do. We run a paper more for
the excitement, perhaps, and tho job
work than anything else. We print
anything in our office from a milt ticket
up to a three-sheet poster, and that
with our agitation keeps us quite busy.
We are passionately fond of agitation
in Ireland, and so really I have eujoy
ed my trip through Canada very mucii.
I wanted to get out and see more of the
world, and also to observe carefully the
recent style of curve-egg tossing and
dead-cat fielding iu America, and I
have got many good poiuts."
"Do you propose going right through
from here to Liverpool, or will you lay
over on your way and make observa
tions?" I asked, with a weak attempt
to be grammatical.
"Oh, I shall not make any stops,
but will pull right along. Should I lie
over at all it will only be to lie over
the taffrail and tiy to ascertain what
the wild waves are saying. But I loug
to bo back attending to my agitating
business aud treading the 'jobber.' I
am now packing my trunk in order to
get ready for my journey to-morrow.
So, if you will excuse me, I guess I will
have to ask you to go."
It was more than half an hour after
this that I suddenly decided that I
would remain no longer, for Mr.
0 Brien's cordiality by that time had
an air of insincerity that I hate to see.
Wringing his hands, however, as
though 1 did not observe his coldness.
1 took afresh cigar from tho center
table, and, calling a cab, walked, leis
urely down the street, and was soon
engaged in earnest conversation with a
confidence man on Broadway.
P. S.—Mr. O Brien opened tho win
dow in order to say to me that if I
wished to 1 might add that he was not
a candidate for any office in this conn
try, and therefore he had felt more like
doing as he had a mind to than he oth
erwise might have felt. As I looked
back I saw Mr. O Brien trying to re
move from the back of his coat a de
sign in spatter work, done in oil, by
means of a tooth-brush and a small
bottle of ammonia. People who desire
their agitating done cheaply and
promptly will do well to figure with
Mr. O Brien.
Careless Contributors.
"Yes," said the editor, as he put his
mucilage brush in the ink bottle and
tried to paste on a clipping with his
stub pen, "yes, tho great fault of news
paper contributors is carlessness.
Indeed," he continued, as he dropped
the copy he had been writing, into the
waste basket, and marked "Editorial"
across the cornor of a poem entitled an
'Ode to Death," "contributors are ter
ribly careless. You would be sur
prised," said he, as he clipped a col
umn of fashion items and labelled them
Farm Notes," to see tho slipshod
writing that comes into the editorial
sanctum. Misspelled, unpunctuated,
written on both sides of the sheet, il
legible, ungram&tical stuff Contribu
tors are terribly careless. They are—"
just then the office boy came, in that
dictatorial and autocratic manner ho
has, and demanded more copy, and the
editor handed him- the love letter he
had just written his girl, and, as he
bad forgotten what he had been
talking about, went on with his work
Yankee Ulude.
Knew All About It
Young Mother—"Come, my ehild,
ud learn the beatitudes."
Smart. Child—"Mamma, I do not
want, to learn, the beatitudes. One
of them hiMl rip attitude on my hud
£iie Scot who rt
would never bet against ft'-ltu-r,
very fairly represent* pubUo sul—,
over there.—Aim
An epidemio lf-rWatehsteattfe|^l[
broken out In town, aaid it Will '^Mif
oaae of "run dawn"' #h«iW they
caught up With.—QrtenvfU* ZYmet*
Fruklin's tomb Is in a sadly-neg
looted state, but Philadelphians exouat
themselves by saying they didn't know
the funeral was over.—Boston Ofofe-
Uncle Sam hae now over $100,000,
000. stored awar in his vanlts We
doubt the wisdom of Solomon in telling
the sluggard to go to hie annt—
It will be rather irksome for-, north
ern men to have to' cany their jugs
with them when they go to winter in^v
Florida.—Louisville Courier-Journal,
George Francis Train apologizes- for
being a native of Boston, bnt that oity
is none the less proud for having raised ^1
such a dub "bub."—Richmond Dis
patch.
It will cost the emperor of China $5
000,000 to get married, and he won't
get anything then but a bias-eyed1 girl
who eats with chop-stics.—Detroit Free
Press.
In this enlightened age true great
ness consists in smoking three dozen 1
25-cent cigars a day, and having a sig
naturo that nobody can read.—Danville
Breeze.
The favorite amusement of Long
islanders at this season of the year is
hog guessing: Ig. Donnelly's attention
is called to this ciphering on bacon.—
Buffalo Express.
Tho tramp's misery is before he gets
something to eat. The misery of the I
rich glutton—who has gout and dys~
pepsia —comes after eating.—HewOr- Li
leans Picayune. ..
If Chicagoans want to give tho pres
idenC a notion of the place they should
furnish him with a long pole, stout
enough to cut smoke, ud tell him to
feel.—Omaha World.
There is no surer way to escape
hanging than to commit a murder
wait until a reward is offered, and then
confess it to tho police of some other
city.—Missouri Republican.
The man who borrows 95 from yon 'V
and neglects to return it is often
thought to have a poor memory, when,
in fact the man is poor and not tho
memory.—Yonkers Statesman.
It's some consolation that as the
farmers must pay the pensions, the
rain which interfered with the encamp
ment festivities will be a great help to
fall plowing.—Missouri Republican.
An article on the education of the
blind is attracting great attention. If
the article tells how a blind may bo
taught not to slam and creak on a win
dy night it is a masterploce.— fyfe.
The Saginaw Journal says the embo
diment of the hog, the ignoramus, and
the bvpocrile lives in that city—and is a
justice of the peace. We are getting
to have most everything in this state.
—Detroit Free Press.
"Nothing but tho right can ever be
expedieut," says a penny-a-liner phil
osopher, and yet every body knows
that Mr. Sullivan is famous for
deadly work ho has got in with
left—Somerville Journal.
Good for EviL
A certain little boy, who is certainly
not "too good for human nature's daily
food, often has fits of what he calls the
"old naughtiness." One day this week
the bad spirit got the upper hand for a
little while, and everything looked
black in the household, but "Old
Naughty" was conquered before the
dinner was ready, and our hero ap
peared at table beaming with sweet
temper and gayety.
"Mamma," said he, "you have about
given up your diamond ring for lost,
haven't you?"
"Yes." answered the mother ••why?"
"Because I've found it. It was lucky
I was bad to-day, or I shouldn't have
been rolling on the floor and have seen
it banging on the curtain, where it had
caught Don't be hard on Old Naughty
after this, mamma."— Boston I'oti.
Fair's Little Loan toMackay.
John Mackay is reported to have told
some friends in Virginia City that he
did not seek Fair for assistance, but
the offer came voluntarily from Fair.
Mackay tells it this way: "I met hiin
coming along the street, and he says:
'John, I think you are distressed, and
if you are, I've got five million youoan
have if you like, and let bygones go.*
I accepted the ofler, and Jim would
have to kick me all over the bank be-
fore I could be made to think ho wasn't
a pretty good fellow."—Reno (Nev.V
Gazette.
Anarchists Know It Not.
"What are you living on nowK!»
"Fruit" .v
"Dangerous, dangerous."
"Not at alL"
"What kind ia it?"
"Frait «l my owa
''H
A
tho
his
Clear as Mud.
Since George Francis Train broke
loose on the question of hanging Anar
chists, numerous other lunatics in vari
ous parts of the country havo set them
selves going. One in the West sends
us along treatise on the subject, from
which we extract the following lucid
paragraph on the labor question: "To
euro these evils let the profits of inflam
matory rhoumatism be distributed
among labor-saving machines, and let
the ballot-box take the place of con
ductors on cable railroads. The world
moves. I know a patent wringer that
is learning to read, and in a little while
sewing machines will be employing
type-writers. And why not? Do not
4 I 1 1
lamp-posts ask puzzling questions of
tbeosophists, and haven't suspenders
got lungs? Pitchforks think, and cis
tern poles are beginning to discuss pro
hibition. Sunday should be fenced in
and there should be a gradual emanci
pation of the high shirt collar." He is
about as lucid as Train is.—Texas Hi/t
ings.
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