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-Kg If? C*i 5:3^2V^ THE- MOVEMENT FAILED. Ai Attempt to ltspress Brtnmiuw bl Draw Among Hired Girls. There Is a young one of the small cities matron living in is in the interior of New York State who doubtless, in her moments of honest self-communion, wishes she bad let well enough, or ill enough alone. She undertow recent* ly, single-handed, a crusade from whieh many an older and bolder wo man might have and has shrunk. Her sense of ness tire of ner own ana Her friends' women servants. Gay colors, silk and satin fabrics, flowers, feathers, ribbons—all the fripperies which the soul of Bridget delights in—she felt were neither suit able nor becoming, and she determin ed to bring about a change. To this end she drew up and circu lated for signatures among her friends a petition or resolution which should bind every signer not to employ or re tain in iter service any maid who would not consent to restrict her at tire to certain prescribed limits, which were, practically, plainly made dark fowns with cap ami apron when on uty, and nothing better than a woolen tav own of simple design for Sunday and off use. feut, alas, for the loyalty of friends! Although many, indeed most of the recipients of the pledge had joined with its author in complaints of the evil it strove to mitigate, when it came to taking a bold stand in the matter their courage was lacking. The paper made its round and returned siguer less. But it was not without result. One of those whom it was designed to educate got a knowledge of its exist ence and mission. 'The story spread from kitchen to kitchen, gaining force and length as it flew. The maids at tempted a coalition and succeeded bet ter than the mistresses. A boycott was declared against the young matron who foolishly thought to make head way against'the independence of Amer ican help, and her corps of servants is now secured from outside places. A complement and moral to this story, says a writer in the Sun, is the recent experience of a Brooklyn lady. Christmas brought her a coveted seal skin sacqite, of which her colored nurse was, as events proved, a most sincere admirer. The maid was about to purchase a winter cloak, and the horror of the mistress may be fancied when she appeared in it. Although of coarse brown plush, iu color, style and general effect it was the fac-simile of of her owu costly fur garment. The lengths of the two cloaks did not vary half an inch they were both of sacque shape, and so identical iu appearance that at a glance tiicy appeared to be twin garments. To increase the wretched uess of the situation, the mistress was in mourn ing, and the maid had a black cloth dress for usual wear. It was the lady's habit on every pleasant day to take her nurse and baby over to spend an hour with her invalid mother, aud to do so she must traverse a couple of blocks of a fashionable thoroughfare. On^ordeal was enough. She tried to induce the nurse to exchange her gar ment for one of another style, offering to pay any loss she might sustain, but Topsy was indignuut, and clung to her elegance. Then, as the sealskin could not go, the maid had to. The nurse lost a good place and the mistress a faithful servant through incompatibili ty—not of temper, but of clothes—all of which the young matron may read with complacency. "Catt •pilars." The catterpilnr is a cralling thing and hears all over his back and fannie found one down her hack and it made me crall like everything, birds eat cat terpilars and give them to their children to eat. I don't see how they can eat them, I know I could not eat them, they are such horrid things, they look so so offly and feel don't know how. Cattcrpilars clirb trees, the other day saw a big, big catterpilat and he was so ''orrid that took a stick- and kild him with it and threw it away to let the swill man pick it up and take it home period catterpilars have 1,000 or more legs, he may not have so manj*, and he may have more the big ones have more than the little ones gess that but don't know. Catterpilars eat flies and other in sects such as ants, micatos. and others like that. Also they eat leaves, plum leaves and iu short all kinds and some flowers to,some have baby catterpilars, in short ail of them. Catterpilars drink water, in short everything they can get. Catterpilars. can not say much more about cattcrpilars. but one good rool is never throw a catterpilar at a man or anybody for it gives them such a fright have told you all they eat, drink how many legs it has and the rool. A catterpilar can climb, you can not. Ma bo some of you can, I cant, but most of the things that a catter pilar can do we can not, and most of the things that we can do they can not. —Quoted by the Buffalo Express. Panl Smith Has the Right Idea. Paul Smith has been known as a re markably successful and prosperous hotel keeper in the northern part of the Adironback wilderness ever since Murray set the tide 6f fashion flowing toward the woods. It may be that he is entitled to a still more honorable reputation. Mr. Smith owns 28,000 acres of woodlawn, including the St. Regis lakes, and many ponds', having added 4,000 acres last spriug at an ex pense of $25,000. Mr. Smith's purpose in purchasing is described by himself as follows: "I brought to keep out the lumber men and have the woods remain as nature intended them. It is my in tention to make a large preserve and give everybody opportunity to enjoy its benefits to be as free to the public as the air that is breathed. No signs for bidding tresoass shall be posteclon my property, will protect it from dese cration and convert it into a inaguifi cent park which people will be wel come to enjoy. I trust when I am dead and gone 'Old Paul Smith' will be re* uienibered with" gratitude for this action by thousand of people who will come here and enjoy happiness in roaming through the forests,campiog by lakes aud pouds, shooting, and fishing. 1 consider this good-will of the public a priceless heirloom to hand down to my children.—Syracuse Christian Ad vocate. Probably Made Up for liost Time. "Seems to me. Maud, that ankinson staid pretty late Did he have any pressing last night. business?" (Blushlngly) "Not till just before hc went away, mamma.' v- v,v Old Male*. ^C ••. VERY HARD CASH. A MATTER-OP-FACT ROMANCE BVCRARLES REABB. CBAPTEB Llll.—-CONTINUED. LAW. MINUTE study of my fellow creatures has revealed to me that there are many intelli gent persons who think that a suit at law commences in court. This is not so. Many suits are fought and decided by the special pleaders, and so never come into court and, as a stiff encounter of this kind actunlly took place in Hardie v. Hardie, a word of prefa tory explanation may be proper. Suitors come into court only to try an issue: an isBue is a mutual lie direct: and toward this both parties are driven upon paper by the lawB of pleading, which may be thus summed: 1. Every statement of the adversary must ei ther lie contradicted flat, orconfcsBed and avoided: "avoided" means neutralized by fresh matter. 2. Nothing mast be advanced by plaintiff which does not disclose a ground of action at law. 3. Nothing advanced by defendant, which if true, would not be de fense to the action. These rules exclude in a vast degree the pitiable defects and vices that mark all the unprofessional arguments one ever hears for on a breach of any one of the said rules the other party can demur the de murrer is argued before the judges in Banco, and, ifHucceKBfully, tlie faulty plaint, or faulty plea, is dismissed, nnd often of course the cause won or lost thereby, nnd the country saved the trouble, and the suitors the expense, ol trying on issue. So the writ bung served by Pit.'s attorney and an appearance put in by Deft.'s, the pa- his junior counsel, Oarrow, and ran thus, after specifying the count and the date: Alfred Hurdie by John I'ompton his attor ney SUCH Thomas Hardie For that the Deft, assaulted Pit. gave him into custody to a certain person and caused him to bo impris oned for a long space of time in a certain place to wit a Lunatic Asylum whereby tne Pit. was much inconvenienced and suffered much anguish and pain in mind and body and was unable to attend to his affairs nnd was injured in his credit nnd circumstances. And the Pit. claims £5000. Mr. Compton conveyed a copy of this to Alfred, nnd said it was a beautiful declara tion. "What," said Alfred, "is that all I have suffered at the miscreants' hands? Why, it is written with an icicle." Mr. Compton explained that this was the outline: ''Counsel will lay the colors on in court as thick as you like." The defendant replied to the abovo declara tion by three pleas. 1. The Deft, by Joseph Henthfleld his attorney says lie is not guilty. 2. And for a further ilea "the Deft, says that be ore and at the time of the alleged imprixonment Pit. was a person of unsound mind and incompetent to take care of him self mid proper person to be taken care of and detained nnd it was unfit nnsafe improp er and dangerous that he should be at large thereupon the De't. being the uncle of the Pit. and a proper person to cause the Pit. to be tnken charge of under due care nnd treat ment in that, behalf did cause the Pit. to be BO taken charge of and detained under due care and treatment, etc. etc. The third plean-ns the stinger, but too long to cite verbatim: it. went to this tune, that the plaintiff, at and before the time, etc.. had conducted himselt like a person of unsound mind, etc.: and two certificates that lie was iriKuiiehad been given by two persons duly authorised under the statute to sign such certificates, and the defendant had believed and did bona-fide believe these certificates to be true, etc. etc. The first of these pleas was a mere formal plea under the statute. The tecond raised the very issue at common law the plaintiff wished to try. The third made John Compton knit his brows with perplexity. "This is a very nasty plea," said he to Alfred "a regu lar trap. If we join issue on it, we deny the certificates were in form and yet the plaguy thing is not for them?" "Mr. Colvin, sir." "Make a note to employ him in our next •tiff pleading." Alfred wns staggered. He thought to ride rough-shod over de endant, a common ex pectation of plnintiffs, but seldom realized. Lawyers fight hard. The pleas were taken Gn"row he said there was but one course to demur to No. 3. So the plaintiff "joined issue on all the defendant's pleas, and as to the last plea ths plaintiff said the same was bad in substance." Defendant rejoiced that the same was good iu substance, nnd thus Hardin v. Hardie divided itself into two capes, a question of law for the judges, and au issue lor the mixed tribunal loosely called a jury. And I need hardly say that should the plain tiff win one oi tlietn, and the defendant the other, the case would bo won by the de fendant.. Postponing the history of the legal ques tion. 1 shall show how Messrs. Heatlifield fought off the issue, and cooled the ardent Alfred nnd sickened him of law. In theory ererv Englishman has aright to be tried by his peers: but in fact there are five gentlemen in every court, ench of whom has by precedeat the power to refuse bim a jury, by simply postponing the trial term after term, until the death of one of the parties, when the action, if a persoual one, dies too and, by a sin gular anomaly of judicial practice, if a slip pery Deft, can't .persunde A. or B. judges of the common law court, to connive at what I venture to call Tne POSTPONEMENT SWINDLE, he can actually go to C., D. and £., one aft er another, with his rejected application, and the previous refusal of the other judges to delay and baffle justice goes orlittloor noth ing so that the postponing swindler has five to one iu his favor. Messrs. Henthfleld began this game un luckily. They applied to a judge in Cham bers for a month to plead. Mr. Compton op posed in person, and showed that this was absurd. The judge allowed them only four days to plead. Issue beingjoined.Mr. Comp ton pushed on for trial, and the cause was letdown for the November term. Toward the end of the term Messrs. Heathfleld applied to one of the puisne'judges for a postpone ment, on the ground thut a principal witness could not attend. Application was supported by the attorney's affidavit to the effect that Mr. Spears was in Boulogne, and had written to bim to say that he had met with a railway accident, and feared that he could not possibly come to England in less than a month. A respectable French doctor confirmed this by certificate. Compton op posed, but the judge would hardly hear him, and postponed the trial as a matter of course: this carried it over the sittings into next term. Alfred groaned, bnt bore it patiently not so Doctor Sampson: he raged against secret tribunals: "See how men de teriorate the moment they get out of the full light of pnbleecity. Whnt English judge, sitting in ths light of Short-hand, would ad mit 'Jack swears that Gill says' for legal evi dence. Speers has sworn to no facks. Heathfleld has sworn to no facks but th' existence or8peer's hearsay. They are a eonple o' lyres. I'll bet ye ten pounds t' a •hilling Speers is as well aa I'm. Mr. Compton quietly reminded bim there was a direct statement—Th* French doc tor's certificate. "A medical certiflcut!" shrieked Sampson, amazed. "Mai— dearr—sirr, a medical cer tiflcut is just an article o' commerce—like an attorneys conscience. Gimme a guinea and I'll get you sworn sick, diseased, disabled, or dead this minute, whichever you like best." "Come, doctor, don't, fly On this Compton offered him the shilling. Un* h« decHned to take it "The lie was said he: "and here's a judge '5°®' A. ,Bd ITS-" .•s^f/jT^.. V/' VP Compton de laerfr Ths next tern cans. Mr. livered the briefs and less, saptenaed th* wit nesses, etc., and Alfred cams up with a good heart to get his atlgma removed by twelve honest men in ths light of day bnt first one cass was taken out of its order and pnt be fore him, then another, till the term wore near an end. Then Messrs. Heathfleld applied to another judge ol the court for a postponement. Mr. Rithard Hardie, plain tiff's lather, a most essential witness, was ill at Clare Court. Medical certificate and letter herewith. Compton opposed. Now this judge was a keen and honorable lawyer, with a lofty ha tred of all professsional tricks. He heard the two attorneys, and delivered himself to this effect, only of course in better legal phrase: "I shall make no order. The defendant has been here before on a doubtful affi davit. You know. Mr. Heathfleld juries in these cases go by the plaintiff's evi dence, and his conduct under cross-examina tion. And I think it would not be just nor humans to keep this plaintiff in suspense, nnd civiliter mortuum, any longer. You can take out a commission to examine Itichard Har die." To thiB Mr. Comptoa nailed him, but the commission took time and while it. was pending, Mr. Heathfleld went to nnother judge with another disabled witness Peggv Black. That naive personnge was nursing her deceased sister's children—in an affidavit: and they had scarlatina—surgeon's certificate to that effect. Compton opposed, and point ed, out that blot. "Yon don't want the children in the witness-box," said he: "and we are not to be robbed of our trial because one of your witnesses prefers nursinir other people's children to facing the witness-box." The judge nodded assent. "I make no order." said he. Mr. Heathfleld went out from his presence, and sent a message by telegraph to Peggy Black. "You must have Scar, yourself, and telegraph the same at once, certificate by post." The accomodating maiden telegraphed back that she had unfortuaately taken scar latina of tho children: medical certificate to follow by poBt. Four judges out of five were now awake to the move. But Mr. Heathfleld tinkered the hole in his late affidavit wit.h Peggy's telegram, and slipped down to Westminister to the chief judge of the court, who hnd had no op portunity of watching the growth and dis semination of disease among Deft.'s witness es. Compton fought, this time by counsel, and with a powerful affidavit. But luck wns against him. The judge had risen to go home: he listened standing Compton's coun sel wan feeble: did not feel the wrong: how could lie? lawyers fatten by delays of justice, as physicians do by tardy* cure. The post ponement. was granted. Alfred cursed them all, and his own folly in believing that an alleged lunatic would be al lowed fuir play at Westminister or anywhere else. I'ompton took snuff, nnd Sampson ap pealed to the press again. He wrote along letter, exposing with fearless irony the post- E[ardie onement swindle as it had been worked in v. Hardie aud wound up with tliij fiery peroration. "This Englishman sues not merely for damages, but to recover loBt rights dearer far than money, of which he says he has been unjustly robbed his right to walk in day light on the soil of his native land without being seized, nnd tied up for life lik* a nigger or a dog his footing in society a chance to earn his bread and a place among mankind ay. among mankind for a luuatic is an ani mal in the law's eye and society's and an al leged lunatic is a lurutic till a jury clears him. "1 appeal to you, gentlemen, is not such a suitor snci-ed in all wiso and good men's minds? Is he not defendant as well as plain tiff? Why his stake is enormous compared with the nominal defendant's and if I know right from wrong, to postpone his trial :t fourth time would be to insult Divine justice, and trifle with human misery, and shock the common sense of nations." The doctor's pen neither clipped the words nor minced the matter, you see. Reading this tho water came into Al red's eyes "All", stanch friend," he said, "how few are like you! To the intellectual dwarfs who con spire with my opprcssors, Hardie v. Hardie is but a family squubbie. I'arvia omnia parva." Mr. Crompton read it too and said from the bottom of his heart.. "Heaven de fend us roni our friends! This is enough to make the courts dccline to try the case it all." And, indeed, it did not cure the evil for next term another malade afildavitaire wan set up. Specie to wit. This gentleman de posed to having come over on purpose to at tend the trial: but having inadvertently step ped aside as far as Wales, ho lay there strick en with a. mysterious malady, and had just strength to forward medical certificate. On this the judge, in spite ol remonstrance, ad journed Hardie v. Hardie to the summer term. Summer came, the evil day diewnigh: Mr. Heatlifield got the venue chunged from Westminister to London, which was the fifth postponement. At last the cause came on: the parties and witnesses were all in court, with two whole days to try it in. Dr. Sampsnn rushed in lurious. "There is some deviltry afloat." said he. "I waB in the House o: Commons last night, and there I saw the defendant's counsel earwigging the judge." "NonsenBol" said Mr. Compton. "Such suspicions are ridiculous. Do you think they can talk of nothing but Hardie v. Hardie?" "Mai—dtarr—sirr—my son met one of Heathfieid's clerks at dinner, and he let out that the trile was not to come off. Put thiB and that together now." "It will come off," said Mr. Compton, "and in five minutes at furthest." In less than that time the learned judge cams in, and, before taking his seat, made thiB extraordinary speech: "1 hear this cause will take three days to try and we have only two days before us. It would be inronvsnient to leave it unfin ished, nnd I must proceed on circuit the day after to-morrow. It must be a remauet: no man can do more than time allows." Plaintiff's counsel mads a feeble remon strance: tlifn yielded. And the crier with sonorons voice called on the case of Bread v. Cheese, ia which there were pounds at st ake, but no principle. Oh, with what zest they all went into it, being small men escaping from a great tiling to a small one. Never hopped frogs into a ditch with more alacrity. Alfred left the court and hid himself, and the scalding tears forced their way down his cheeks at this heartless pro ceeding to let all the witnesses come into court at a vast expense to the parties, and raise the cup of justice to the lips of the op pressed, and then pretend he know a trinl would last more thaii two days and so shirk it. "I'd hnve mnde that, a reason for sitting till midnight," said poor Al red, "not/ for prolonging a poor injured man's agony four mortal months." He then prayed God earnestly tor this sreat postponer's death as the only event that could give him back an Englishman's rights of being tried by his Eearted. off: you said you'd bet ten pounds to a shilling Speers is not an invalid at all. 1 say done." "Done." "How will you find out?" "How? Why set the thief-takers on so, to be sore." He wrote off to the perfect oi police at Boulogne, and in four days received an an swer headed, "information in the interest, of families. The prefect informed bim there had been no railway accident bnt that the Sienr Speers, English subject, had really hurt nil J'PT getting out of a railway carriage six weeks ago, and had kept his room some days but he had been cured some week*, and goiugaboat his business, nnd made an ex cursion to Paris. an -attorney couldn't. their lives sifting evidence, too. OI niad!" ii2SBif£&£E&?lUtsu.- -. eers, and so went down to Ox ord broken- Dishonest suitors all tr.v to postpone but they do not gain unmixed good thereby. These delays giv* time for more evidence to come in nnd this slow coming and chance evidence is singularly adverse to the unjust suitor. Of this came a notable example in October next, aud made Bichnrd Hardie de termine to precipitate the trial, and even re gret that he had not fought it out long ugo. He had just returned from consulting Messrs. Huuthfield, and sat down to a nice little dinner, in Ills apartments (Sackville Street) when a visitor was announced, and in came the slouching little figure of Mr. Bark ington alias Noah Skinner. DIAMOND CUT DIAMOND. Mr. Hardie suppressed a start, and said nothing Skinner bowed low with a mixture oi his old cringing way. and a certain sl.v tri umphant leer, so that his body seemed to say one thing, and bis face the opposite. Mr. Hardie eyed bim, and saw that his coat was rusty and his hat napless then Mr. Hardie smelt a beggar, and prepared to parry all attempts upon his purse. "I hope 1 see my old master well," said Skinner coaxingly. "Pretty well in body, Skinner thank you." "I bad a deal o: trouble to find yon, sir. But I beard of the great lawsuit between Mr. Alfred and you, and I knew Mr. Heatlifield was yoursolicitor. So I watched at his place day after day: and atlastyoucame. Ohji wns so pleased when 1 saw your noble figure but I wouldn't speak to you in the street, for fear oi disgracing you: I'm such a poor little guy to be addressing a gentleman lik» you." Now this sounded well on the surface, bnt below titers was a subtle something Mr. Hardie did not like at all: bnt lie took thn cue, and said, "My poor .Skinner, do yon think I would turn UP my nose at a faithful old servant .like you? have a glass of wine withme, and tell me howyou have been getting on." He went behind a screen and opened a door, and soon returned witha decanter leav ing the door opened: now in the next room sat, unbeknown to Skinner, a young woman with white eyelashes, sewing buttons on Mr. Hardte't shirts That aitute gentleaangave i?.v heriBStrnstioas, aad important ones. too. with a silent gesture:' then reappeared and filled the bumper high to his taitbral servant. They drank one another'* healths with great cordiality, real or apparent. Mr. Hardie than asked Skinner carelessly if hs could do anything for him. Skinner said, "Well, sir, 1 am very poor." "So am I, between you and me," said Mr. Hardie. confidentially "1 don't mind telling you those confounded Commissioners oi Lunacy wrote to Alfred's trustees, and I have been orced to replace a loan offlve thousand pounds. That BctVl always sides with th insane. That crippled me, and drovo me to the Exchange: nnd now what I have left isall invested in timj-bargains. A month settles my fate a little fortune, or absolute beg garv." "You'll be lucky, sir, you'll be lucky," said Skin uer, cheerfully "you have such along head not like poor little me. The Exchange soon burnt my earnings. Not a shilling left of the thousand pounds, sir, you were so good as to give mo for my faithlul services. But. you will give me another chance, sir. I know I'll take better care this time." Mr. Hardie shook his head sorrow.ully, and said it was impossible. Skinner eyed him nsknnt. and remarked quietly, and half aside. "Ol course 1 tould go to the other party but I shouldn't like to do that. They would come down handsome." "What other party?" "La, sir, what, other party? why Mrs. Dodd's, or Mr. Alfred's: here's the trial com ing on, you know, nnd of course if they could get me to go on the box and tell all 1 know, or half what I know, why the judge and jury would say locking Mr. Alfred up lormad was a conspiracy." Mr- Hardie quaked internally but he did it grandly, and once more was a Spartan gnawed' beneath his robe, by this little fox: "What." said he, sternly, "after all I and mine have done for you and yours, would you be so base astogoand sell yoursely to my enemies?" "Never, sir," shouted Skinner, zealously then in a whisper, "not if you'll make a bid for me." "How much do you demand?" "Only another thousand, sir." "A thousand pounds!" "Why, what is that to you, sir you are rich enough to buy tho eighth command ment out ofthetablo at ten per cent.: nnd then the lawsuit, Hardie versus Hardies!" "l'on have spoke plainly at last!" said Mr. Hardie, grimly' "This is extorting money by threats. Do you know that nothing is more criminal, nor more easy to punish? 1 ran take you before a magistrate, aud imprison you on the instant for this attempt. I will, too." "Try it," said Skinner, coolly. "Where .Him witness?" "Behind that screen." Pegiry came forward directly, with a pen in her hand. Skinner was manifestly startled aud disconcerted. 1 have taken all your words down. Mr. Skinner." said Peggy soft ly: then to her master, "Shall I go for a po liceman, sir?" Mr. Hardie reflected. "Yes," said lie, stern ly there's no other course with such a lump of ingratitude as this." Peggy whipped on her bonnet. "What a hurry you are in!" whined Skin ner "a policemnu ought to be the Inst argu ment forold friends to run to." Then, fawn ing spitefully, "Don't talk of indicting me, sir." suid he: "it makes me shiver: why how will you look when I lip and tell them how 'Jnptain l»odd was taken with ap oplexy in our office, and howyou nailed four teen thousand pounds of his senseless body, and forgot to put them down iu your balance sheet, so they arc not whitewashed off like the rest.." "Any witnesses to nil this, Skinner?" "Yes, sir." "Who?" "Well your own conscience, for one," said Skinner. "lie is mad, I'eggy," said Mr. Ilardie. shruggintr his shoulders. He then looked Skinner full in lie face, and said, "Nobody was ever seized with apoplexy in my office. Nobody sver gave me £14,000, and if this is the probable tale witli which you come here to break the law and extort money, leave my house this instant and if ever you dare to utter this absurd and malicious slander you shall lie within four stone walls, and learn what it is for a shabby vagabond to come without itness to his back, and li bel a man of property and honor." Skinner let him run on iu this loud, trium phant strain till he had quite done: then put out a brown skinny finger, aud poked him lightly in the ri'.is, and said, quite quietly, and, oh, so dryly, with a knowing wink: "I've—got—TIIK KECKIPT." [TO III: ONTINRKD. The Actrr'j Hard Life. "It's a wonder that actors live," said a young player the other day. "I don't known how it conies about, but managers seem to have no consid eration for the climate in their ar rangement of pieces. When 1 was traveling with the company we always used to do things like 'Siberia,' that required us to dress -in furs in summer time, and we sweat under them well, I can tell you. Then we invariably did 'Julius Caesar' in the west in the dead oi :PW* V-, **£SWS ^T winter. Good heav ens! it gives me a. chill now when I think of the nights I have lain on the floor of Nebraska barns as the' mur deied Caesar, with my breast and one arm bare and zero breezes creeping up through cracks in the floor and steal ing in through doors and windows at the wings. I had to lie there for ten solid minutes after 1 fell and didn't even have the liberty of shivering. "After awhile they gave me Mark Antony to play, and I don't know but I suffered worse in that, for after the addreBs to the populace I left the stage in a cast iron perspiration and dived into a dressing room full of draughts and a temperature below freezing to make iny change. I have caught malaria in damp dressing rooms under the ground. I have shaken my internal appliances out of place by doing a twenty-foot fall eight times a week for a season. I have been on deck for nearly twenty-four hourB at a stretch, what with re hearsals, matinees and evening per formances. I lmve gone to bed at 1 a. m. and got up at 4 to catch trains. I have played hard parts when I was sick enough to be in bed. I have traveled all niaht and all day, unable to get a sleeper, and struck a town too late for supper, and have gone di rectly to the theater and howled and laugiied on an empty stomach. "I can't abide pork, yet I've been compelled to live on nothing else while playing the uouthern circuit. I've done museum work where I've had to study six, eight and ten parts in a week, comedy one day, tragedy that night, comic opera, pantomime, bur lesque, spectacle, melodrama, farce, sensation and society pieces all in a bunch. I've 'carried the banner' through the streets all night when I hadn't mouey enough to pay for a lodging, and when the ghost has failed to walk I've bad to call 'on my uncle* with my clothes and books and 'ptops' to adjust matters amicably with my landlord. People who have an idea that an actor's trade is all roses and sunshine and genteel leisure and wealth haven't got the correct idea, that's all."—Brooklyn Eagle. Four Million Miles of Blood, The mathematical fiend has recent ly been at work upon a calculation of the work performed by the human heart. His calculations are curious and give the work of the heart in miles and beats. It is based upon the presumption that the heart beats sixty-nine times eoch minute anp throws blood nine feet. Compute thus the mileajreof the blood through the body might be taken as 207 yards per minute, 7 miles per hour, 168 miles per day, 61,320 miles pei .voar. or 4,292,400 miles alifetime ol 70 years!—St. & ATp? Cigars This Year. From the New York RuaJrJs'»« Thomas G. Delano, an authority on cigars and tobacco, although not directly interested in the trade fi nancially, has just returned from Key West and Cuba. He says that the output from Key West of cigars this year will be 90,000,000. Some years ago, he says, Connecticut seed leaf was regarded by domestic man ufacturers, and even by some in Key West, as standing next to Havana leaf for ci^ar wrappers. It brought a high price. But the Connecticut tobacco farmers have killed their to bacco goose in a queer way. They used for some years certain kinds of manures which gave the tobacco a luxurieat growth, but devoloped certain weaknesses in the tobacco which manufacturers now Bay The latest news from Zululand comes by cable. The warriors have all married they desire in the future peace and happiness ana enough Dr. Bull's Cough Syrup lor the next eeaeon. All foods for plants must be soluble to be available. Horrid Torture. This is often felt in every joint and muscle of the body by turns, by people who, expe riencing tho earlieBt twinges of rheumatism, neglect to arrest the malady, as they may easilv do, with Hoetetter's Stomach Bitters, a professionally authenticated remedy for the agonizing complaint, ltecollect that rheu matism unchecked ten lasts a liietime, or abruptly terminates it when the malady at tacks the heart. Tho Bitters also remedies chills and fever, dyspepsia and liver com plaint. Do not remove the mulch from trees and planta too early. People do not discover it until too late, that the so called washing powders not only eat up their clothes, but ruin their skin, und cause rheumatism. Use nothing but Dob bins' Klectric Soap. Have your grocer keep it. Ground bone is a good fertilizer to put around trees in setting them. TKSTED BY TIME. For Bronchial affections, Coughs, etc., BIIOWN'S BRONCHIAL TBOCIIKB have proved their efficacy by a test of many years. Price 25 cts. Bacy, entertaining talk is only exposed thought. A pocked match-safe free to smokers of "Tansill'B Punch" 5c. Cigar. Freedom is lost with too much responsibil ity and seriousness. S Consumption Surely Cured. To THE EniTon:—Please inform your read ers that I have a positive remedy for the above named disease. By its timely use thousands of hopeless cases have been per manently cured. iBhall lie glad to send two bottles of my remedy FKEB to any of your readers who have consumption if they will send meexpress and post-office address. Re. spectlully, T. A. SLOCUM, M. C., 181 Pearl street, New York. Your Blood Needs a good cleauBln« this spring, In order to overcome the impurities which have accumulated during the winter, or which may be hereditary, and ceuae you much suffering. We confidently recommend Hood's Saraaparilla as the very best spring medicine. By ito use the blood is purified, enriched and vitalized, that tired feeling is en tirely overcome and thewliule body given strength and vigor. The appetite is restored and sharpened, the digestlvo organs are toned, nnd the kidneys and liver invigorated. I was feeling very much worn out and found nothing to benefit mo till I took Hood's Sarsupa rllla. I have now takeu several bottles and it has made me feel perfectly well. I wasalsotroub led with soreB breaking out fnmymoutb.butsince taking Hood's Sarsaparllla have hud no further trouble from them. 1 have recommended it to others who have been very much benefited by using it." MBS MART ADDKHLV, 627 North Water Street, Decatur, ill. Hood's Sarsaparilla Sold by oil druegista.yi sixforg!. Prepared only by C. I. HOOD & CO., Uowell, Mass 100 Doses One Dollar SIGKHEADACHE fositlvely cured by these little Pills. CARTERS They also relieve Die ttMsfroinDytpepsU.Iu digesUoa and TooHe arty Eating, k. perfect rem edy for Diuineu.Neii«e Drowsiness, Bad TMU in ths Mouth, Coated Tongne.Pain In ths tilde TOKPID LIVIB. They regulate the Bowels Purely Vegetable. [TTLE VER PIUS. MM ZS Cents. castzb losicnra co„ hew yoss. Small Pill. Small Dose. Small Price. 55^ OR here. Some people 1 $* mako it unprofitable for a wrapper. For that reason manufacturers import their wrappers Irom Sumatra. The Connecticut tobacco hus depreciated at least 50 per cent, through an un skillful use of manures. In chronic cases of neuralgia, rheumatism, or gout, where the disturbing cause is a cer tain acid which poisons the blood, Salvation Oil should be used. This powerful pain-de stroyer will in time dissolve the poison circu lating in the blood, and bring reliei' when all others fail. Price 25 cents. -tM. TTk t-^^,. »d^f, -tV N* 1 1 With ft big whip under his arm. "Be you the editor?" be aslced. "I am," was the half apprehensive reply. "Here's two dollars—send ms your paper for lifo," he said. You see," he went on, "our daughter was sick and like to die she drooped and grew weak and pale, had headaches, no ap petite, back ached, hands and feetiiko ice, couldn't sleep, hacked with cough, and we thought she had consumption. No medicine helped her until she tried that Dr. Pierced Favorite Prescription mentioned in your paper, when she began to mend in no time A&d is now well AND hundsonio AS A row— put me down as a life subscriber." Now the editor is looking for another scare. The medicine has cured thousands afflicted as was the farmer's daughter, re storing the female functions to healthy ac tion, and removing the obstructions and suppressions which caused her trouble. It is guaranteed to give satisfaction iu every case or price ($1.(0) refunded. It's a legiti mate medicine, not a beverage. Contains no alcohol to inebriate no syrup or sugar to sour, or ferment in the stomach and de range digestion. As an invigorating tonic, it Imparts ONE PELLET A DOSE! $75.00 to .£ Persons preferred who can tarnish a horse uml give their whole time to the business. Spure mo ments mar be profitably employed alxo. A few vacancies in towns and cities. B. F.JOHNSON 4CO 1000 Main St., Richmond, Va. DO.C. W. N. U. "By helping others may we not help ourselves"? It is a well are very HIGH. MA. PHIL Dear Sir: In reply to yours of the 12th, will say wa sold lots o£ the aid it in Jnte Twine last Year, and could have sold it in preference to most of our customers, if' we had had it, it care ths best of satisfaction. Yours truly, PALMEU A BENSON. WILSON, Kan,, April 18,1880. MB. PHIL STIVMEL, Omaha: Dear Sir: In reply of yours abont Jute Twine we must say: wa sold a aood deal last year, and same worked well on all machiues used i. «. Uke same better than Sisal or Manilla. Yours trury, SCHWABZ ZAVODXIK. STOCKTOX, Kaa., June *8,1W. POMS SMITH. ChlcsM.Ills.: Dear Sir: I have bad but one ^2s I can see, I Utlak It Jast as(oodas W$$b, Jr* *r *1 •V l±4 :!|§t II Sssfti A SCARED EDITOR. A ragged farmer stalked into ths sanctum 1 byusingp^SAPO Best Cough Medicine. Recommended by Physicians. Cures where all else fails. Pleasant and agreeable to the Children take it without objection. By druggists. WESTS NERVE AND BRAIN TREATMENT. Specific for Hjmterfa, Distinesfi, Fit*, Neuralgia, Wake fulness, Mental Depression, Sol'tcniuff of tfco tirain, re wltlngr in insanity and lcadfngr to misery decav and death. Premature Old Ago. Barrenness. Loan of Power in either aex, Involuntary Losses, end Spermatorrhea caused tv overexertion of the brain, self-abuse or over-indulgence. Kach box contains* on month's treat. h9*. or hix for $5, tent mail prepaid. With cach order for *ix hoifts, will send purchaser guarantee to refund tuonev if the treatment fails *.o cure. Guarantees issued ami genuine bold only by HIPPLBR & COLLIER, Tho open all night Drugstore, Cor 7th & Sibley, St, Paul Minn. 1800 No. 19 CHICAGO, His., OMAHA, Neb. known fact that the present prices of Binder twine-* How can this condition be remedied? Simply by the eonsumers using GUARANTEED ANTI-TRUST JUTE TWINE. Our "JUTE" twine was a great success in the harvest of 1889.1^) It is warranted 500 to 550 feet to the lb., 85 lbs. average teneiie"f| strength. It is weather proof and will work satisfactory on all standard V, WRITE US for any kind of Binding Twine. Harvesters. KALOKA, Iowa, April 14,1880. 1/*3 Lltelsg 1 strength to the whole system. For t. vw- worked, •'worn-out," "run-down," AJMH. tated teachers, milliners, dressmakers, ifMccor. atinn^rfwle tl 1 v. iPreecriptionin SIOIC HEADACHE Billons Headaclic, Plniaeai. Conatlnatiiw, s«.*«y^I_ tlou, Bilious Attacks, and all derangements of the and bowels, are promptly relieved and permanently cured by the use of DR. PIERCE'S PELLETS. They are Purely Vegetable and Perfectly Harmless. Aa a ZIIVBR PXIIZI, Vsefuleil c-i— earthly boon, being uneqiialed as an appe tizing cordial and restorative toni "or strength-giver. It promptly cures itntia. indigestion, bloating, weak back, nervous prostration, debility and sleeplcwuess. It to carefully compounded by an experienced and skillful physician, and adapted to wo man's delicate organisation. Purely vege table and perfectly harmless in any oonol* nn rtf 4*Ka awafiUM tion of the system. As a soothing and ine. Favorite Prescription6 is unequaled and is invaluable in allaying and subdu ing nervous oxcitabllity, irritability, ex haustion, prostration, hysteria, spasms other distressing, nervous symptoms, com monly attendant upon functional «~i organic disease. It induces refreshing sleep and relieves mental anxiety de spondency. For a Book of 160 pages on Woman: Her Diseases, and How to Cure them, sealed in plain envelope) enclose ten cents, in stamps, to WORIJJ'S DISPKNBABY MB ICAL ASSOCIATION, 663 Main Street, Bof- SMAZILSST, OHSAP1 HASIE3T TO TASX FESBURDEN '"1 LJ Ibises olid c&ke ofscouringso&p used for cleojiin^ purposes «-e0^vRi9HT* What would you give for a Friend who would take half your hard work off your shoulder» and do it without a murmur What would you give to find an assistant in your housework that would lteep your floors and walls cleanf ami your kitchen bright, and yet never grow ugly over the nuitter of hard work Sapolio is just such a friend and can be bought at all grocers. 580 A MONTH iHoNTH to distribute circulars only SaUriee paid nonthy. Sample of our goods and contracture, «nd 10c. for postage, Backing, etc. WE NIV BUST xss. pyioy 8UPVLY CQjatA 8S RlvcrS ALLEN S IRON TONIG BITTERS Tl« BOB! Blood Purifier, Llvtr InriggrattrTToate ai4 Appetizer ka**a. Th* flr*t Hitlersc*atainiug Iron ttcr advtr* Used la Aaurica. J.F.ALLEJI. DraxcUitCkeaUt, BLPa&l.Miaa. ipEWis' 98ML1E I rowBBD act nsmn. (PATKKTKD.) The ttronqest and purest Ly* made. Will make the best perfumed Hard Soap in 90 minutes without boiling, kt Is the beat for disinfecting sinks, closets, drains, washing bottles, barrels, paints, etc. PENNA. SALT M'F'G CO. Gen. Agts., Phila., Ft. thought it would not go as tar as standard twine, so I bad fanner teat it with a ball of standard twine. The ball of standard twine bound Iff bundles, and a bail of vour twine hnnnd MA hnndiaa V«II taken out of a W-fe of you bale. Va Paii. Stun*..: Dear Sir: Beferrioc to yosr say that I used Jate Twiae exolntlvaly my eoktomers were very 1' Each ball was Yours, MONTGOMERY A SON. LISBOX, Tents, June 7 1MB. To WHO* IT M*T COKCKUI: 1 have tested the Jute Twine In my Empire Binder, and It sfcr feet satisfaction and doe* as good work as the Slaal'I h»a h£iti __ (Signed) a W. Q1VEKS, Prcsldeut of LUbon AUItiaw.