The Wahpeton times. [volume], April 27, 1911, Image 4

About The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919

Image provided by: State Historical Society of North Dakota

                
Humor and
Philosophy
«r •V/rcU/r M. SMITH
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
TT is easy enough to explain a thing
away, but it frequently refuses to
•tay away after the explanation.
You can't keep a bad man down.
Be always bobs up with a plea for
vindication.
The only safe way Is to believe ev
ery man guilty until be is arrested.
It doesn't take a man long after be
begins to talk to show just where his
grouch is located.
Train up your children in the way
they should go and when they are
grown they will have the same kind
of a row with their own offspring.
Most of us are vain, but it would
puzzle an expert to show justification
for the vanity.
A clock is about the only thing that
strikes and keeps on working.
Hanger taken in liberal doses before
seals Is an excellent cure for indiges
tion.
SThs man who bss to eat his own
jurords seldom has an appetite for
repetition.
The coming man counts among his
assets a good presp agent.
Guarding, the V»uth.
The wipe and sage commute*
SPRING REMINDERS
SEEDS
We have every
thing for the Field
Garden or Lawn,
and all our Seed
is pure Seed.
House
Cleaning
All of
Pa in t, Varnish,
H. E. RICE,
"T5To "Rio~aungeohTeafllti#
In nearly every city
The books our boys are reading.
These works give life a glamour
That life Is not possessing,
And so they take their hammer
And do some things distressing.
These little minds, unfolding
Like blossoms In the garden.
Need very careful molding
And care lest they should harden.
The books that have Incited
Our boys to blood and thunder
Are for the crime indicted.
And Is It any wonder?
The book on which the "popper"
Had fat and early feeding
Is not regarded proper
Or most exalted reading
For those acquiring knowledge.
If father Is a sample
He is, you must acknowledge,
A horrible example.
The busy little starter
With facts must All hlq gable.
Farewell, then, to Nick Carter,
To Optic and his fable!
These books are undeserving,
But do not think to lose them—
While no one is observing
Tho youngsters will peruse then.
Looked Well Preserved.
"I wonder what the seventeen year
locusts are like," said the blushing
girl.
"Don't you remember them?" asked
the horrid man.
"Of course not. I was too young
when they were here before."
"Weren't you us old then as you are
now?"
Net Qualified.
"You say that she wouldn't be able
to keep house If she were married?"
"I don't think she coukl -do lt very
well."
"Why do you hold that opinion?"
"Well, for one reason she thinks ba
bies are brlc-a-brAc."
Ready For Matrimony.
"I don't think that girl ought to mar-
AUTO
OWNERS
When next you
need Oils or greas
es, give us a call
we carry the fa
mous Polarine oils
we also carry pol
ishes and other ac
cessories needed
t0
404 Dakota Ave. Phone 25-J
A FEW MORE DAYS OF SUNSHINE
And then everybody will want their
Painting and Decorating
done at once. Better let me give you an estimate now, so I
can book your order and arrange to do your work, when it
would be most convenient for you.
Auto
pU^ y0ur
Polishes, etc., in jn g00C[ shape.
all sizes and for
all purposes.
PLUMBING
Now is the time to have
an estimate made.
Let Us Figure With You
WAHPETON HARDWARE CO.
THE PLACEJOF QUALITY
Phone
172-J
WAHPETON
•ARBLE and GRANITE WORKS
Manufacturers of and Dealers in
Foreign and Domestic Marble
and Granite Monuments
Coping and Iron Fences
Hsierences. First Nat'l Bank Breekeniidre
Minn. Citizens Nat'l Bank, Wabpeton. N. J)
H. J. Korf, J. B. Veling, Props.
"Why?"
"She doesn't know how to manage a
house."
"But you should see her manage a
man!"
A Hint.
"What makea
your baby cry
so?" asked the
unwelcome visi
tor.
"He is hungry."
"Does he al
ways cry when
be is hungry?"
"No."
"Then why does
be cry now?"
"He knows we
don't feed him
before company."
Why He Was 8ure.
"Have you seen anything of my son
John?"
"No. nor your son Bill."
"I have no son Bill."
"That Is what I thought. I told my
Wife so wben 1 didn't see bim go by."
The Way It Goes.
"Jack and I kissed and made up."
"Did?"
"Yes."
"Different here."
"How is that?"
"Charlie and I kissed and fell out."
Every Time.
"Pride goes before a fall."
"Tea."
"Do you know what comes after?"
"No."
"The merry ba-ha!"
r-
Hew He Fell.
"Pa, do you tblnk tbe harem' skirt
trill ever come in?"
"Not In this house."
Unappreciative.
A man won't take his good advice
And paste it In his hat.
He writes It on a piece of Ice
And lets It go at that.
Wanted Them Green.
"Two Btarboard lights." said tbe
diner to tbe waiter in a Broadway res
taurant
The waiter looked over the wine list,
and his eye ran down to the liqueurs,
for his two patrons bad reached tbe
post coffee stage of their dinner. He
looked blankly at tbe list. He could
see no such cordial.
"Starboard lights, sir?" be asked.
"Yes: starboard lights—two—and
hurry!"
Tbe waiter sought the maitre d'hotel
and asked what tbe drink might be.
"Creme de mentbe," said that imper
turbable person. "It's wbat they call
'em in England."—New York Press.
A Big Drawback.
A man was praising tbe improve
ments by a friend in bis dwelling.
"Your bouse looks a lot better now
that it bas been painted."
"Well." tbe man who had been re
decorating admitted gloomily, "it does
look a bit better, but we sball have to
clean the windows more frequently to
keep in harmony with it"
A Calamity.
Neighbor—My! My! So tbe story
is true and your husband bas really
eloped with tbe servant girl. De
serted Wife (weeping)—Yes, and she
was tbe best girl 1 ever had, too,
perfectly lovely cook, and so quiet snd
respectful. Dear knows where I'll be
able to get another! Philadelphia
Times.
Meney.
Money is character money also is
power. I have power not In proportion
to the money 1 spend on myself, hot in
proportion to the money I can, If: I
please, give sway to another.—Bulwer
Lytton.
Bait.
She—Why, Charlie, you seem to have
become quite a man of fashion—such
clothes, such Jewelry! He—Yes yon
see, my creditors are very anxious that
I should get married.—Slmpllcisslmns.
Their Use.
"Do you enjoy your meals, old manV
"Enjoy my meals?" snorted tbe In
dignant dyspeptic. "My .meals are
merely guidepoBts to take medicine be
fore or after."—Washington Herald.
The Way of the World.
"Isn't it awful? According to the
papers there Just seems to be one rev
olution after another."
"Yes. Tbafs the way the world goes
round."—Judge.
In cases ot rheumatism relief
from pain makes sleep and rest
possible. This may be obtained
by applying Chatrinberla in
Liniment. For sale by all deal
ers.
Miss Bessie Walker heft this
morning for Grand Fotks. She
will return the fore part of next
week.
Mrs. Ruby DeMund of Staple a
Is visiting in the city.
Fandol—Dtatz
On Wednesday morning Apr.
26th, at St. John's church in
Wahpeton, Miss Irene Dietz
was wedded to Victor C. Fan
del, Fr. Ridder officiating.
The large church was well
filled with invited guests and
relatives of the bride and^
groom.
The bride was attended by
her sister, Miss Thresa Dietz,
and the groom by his brother,
Mr. Julius Fandel. Tbe bride
and bridesmaid were dressed
in white, the bridesmaid carry
ing a large boquet of pink
roses and Little Thelma Edel
brock as ring bearer carried a
large boquet of bride's roses.
The groom and best man wore
conventional black. George
Reeder and Joseph Dietz acted
as ushers.
A wedding dinner was served
at the home of the brides' par
ents at which about forty
guests attended, moetly rela
tives. The happy couple left
in the evening for a short wed
ding trip and after July 1st
Mr. and Mrs. Fandel will be at
home in the Wasche residence
on fifth street.
The bride is the daughter of
Mr. and Mrs. Valentin Dietz
and is one of Wahpeton's most
beautiful and accomplished
young ladies. Mr. Fandel is
one of Wahpeton's progressive
young business men, being a
member of the, Bee Hive Dry
Goods Company.....
The grpoma father, mother,
sister and brother of St, Cloud,
were here for the wedding.
Miss Pauline Fandel the sister
reached Wabpeton last Satur
day and will be the guest of
Mr. and Mrs. Siefert about a
week.
The Times joins in with their
host of friends and wafts to
them its heartiest congratula
tions, and may their joys be as
deep as the ocean—their sor
rows as light as its foam.
"Our baby cries for Chamber
Iain's Cough Remedy," writes
Mrs. T. B. Kendrick, Rasaca,
Ga. "It is the best cough
re a
coughs, colds and croup. For
sale by all dealers.
Mrs. Kaizer left Monday eve
ning for a. two weeks visit in
Minneapolis and Cheska, Minn.
The Methodist Ladies Aid
society will meet on Wednes
day afternoon, May 3rd, at the
home of Mrs. Randolph. All
members are expected to be
present.
Mrs. Dow and Mrs. Procter
left Tuesday morning for their
claims in Montana.
Mr. and Mrs. Albert Chezik
returned Monday evening from
southern California where they
spent the winter.
A number of friends of Mrs.
Bader planned a surprise on
her last Monday evening, the
occasion being her birthday.
The evening was spent in
playing cards after which a
dainty lunch was served. A
number of dishes were pre
sented her as a remembrance.
St. Paul, Minn., James J.
Hill, the Great Northern,
Northern Pacific railroad mag
nate, sees in .publicity of cor
poration matters and intelli
gent public control of the cor
porations themselves, a long
step towards the solution of the
present era of business stagna
tion.
"And the United States needs
a saviour," says Mr. Hill. "The
people have demanded not only
the best but an improvement
on the best, and they will now
have to pay accordingly. If
they don't pay in money, they
must pay in prosperity. The
business of the country in
creases 15 per cent every year:
the facilities for handling this
new business increase only 1-6
of that. The difference in the
ratio is too great and a balance
must be struck, sometime, else
there will be a complete break
down of service or prosperity.
"Why don't the facilities for
handling business increase
more rapidly? Because the
men behind those facilities are
afraid to spend their money for
extensions and improvements."
Mr. Hill has long been an ex-
ponent of publicity of corpora
tion affairs and looks upon that
as one of the means of bring
ing .corporation and. public to
gether.
"The people are entitled to
know what the public service
corporations are doing and the
conditions under which they
transact business," he says. "I
have believed in, and have ad.
vocated, publicity of corpora
tion reports for many years
When the public becomes con
versant with corporation affairs
and is convinced that it is see
ing from the inside, much of
the feeling against the great
business concerns will pass
away. That will be one of the
effects of publicity."
In the matter of public con
trol of quasi-public concerns,
Mr. Hill is a firm advocate, but
he wants that control to be in
telligent he wants only trained
men in the places of control.
"A corporation is a piece of
paper bearing the stamp and
seal of tbe state," he says. "Its
life is created by the people and
naturally the people should
have some word in making the
rules under which it transacts
business. That proposition is
one I Have preached for years
and now lam glad to see it
making headway among com
mon carrier corporations. Last
week President Mudge of Rock
Island railroad declared for
public control of railroads.
George M. Reynolds, president
Continental and Commercial
National bank ot Chicago did
the same thing the week before:
T. N. Vail, president American
Telephone and Telegraph re
cently made an official report
to his board of directors in
which he took a firm stand for
both publicity and public con
trol.
"But that control must be in
telligently administered. Pub
lic control simply because it is
a control by the public, is not
all. It must be intelligent, as
I have always contended. In
telligent people will ask and
expect nothing more. Vail,
Reynolds and the others are
right is advocating publicity
and public control. Both are
things which eventually will
go far towards making a good
feeling between the corpora
tions and the people, and will
assist in settling much of the
antagonism which now seems
to prevail."
Lame SL.oulder is nearly al
ways due to rheumatism of the
muscles, and quickly yields to
the free apn patlcioiof Cham
berlain's Liniment. For sale
by all dealers.
Schanhaar
He has the best qual
ity
of
When a. medicine mast be
iv to re
should be pleasant to take
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy
is made from loaf sugar, and
the roots used in its prepara-,
tion give it a flavor similar to
maple syrup, making it pleas
ant to take. It has no supe
rior tor colds, croup and whoop
ing cough. For sale by all
dealers.
REPAIRING
Shoe repairing neatly and
quickly done. Repairing of
fine shoes a specialty. Prices
are reasonable.
H. H. ANDERSON
One door east of Electric
Light Cp's. office
•Ma Wanted VorGradtng Road:
Notice is hereby given that
sealed bids will be received at
the town clerks office in Niel
sen township until May 1st,
1911, at 2 o'clock p. m., for grad
ing two miles of road accord
ing to plans and specifications
that are now on file in said
clerks office. Said work can
mostly be done with elevating
grader which said township
can furnish. All bids must be
accompanied by a certified
check to the amount of fifty
dollars payable to Town of
Nielsen as a guarantee of good
faith. In case of acceptance of
bid the right is hereby reserv
ed to reject any and all bids.
By order of town board April
3rd, 1911.
Herman G. Fructel,
Town Clerk,
Postoffice, Everdell, Minn.
Shoes and Ox
for men,wo-
men and children
Repairing neatly done
while you wait
L: J. Schanhaar, The Shoeman
FIFTH STREET BRECKENRIDGE
I
Eggs For Hatching
Purebred S. C. White
Leghorn, White Ply
mouth Rocks
$2.00 per 30 sggs
$3.00 per 50 sggs
$5.00 psr 100 sggs
It half of eggs do not
hatch they will be
replaced at half price
Gsorgs Dusrr
Udgarwood, North Dakota
I
Always Buy Your
SHOES