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The SEATTLE REPUBLICAN
VOL VII NO. 7 TWICE TOLD TALES That an Observant Person Will Hear as He Perambulates the Streets of the Great Queen City of the Northwest In Most Cases they are both I^aughable and Ludicrous and in Some Instances of a Rather Serious Turn —Many Morals to be Drawn from Them by the Street Philosopher. An observant person can see many things of general interest in as large a city as is Seattle, and there are always some people who take advantage of such fl,n oppor tunity. Things that one occa sionally sees often goes beyond the laughable point and verges very closely on to the ludicrous. For an instant, a few days ago the city patrol wagon, in which evil doers are hauled to the police headquarters, ran over a dog, crashed into a wagon, came very near running over a woman and little child and finally only lacked an inch of toppling over in the street as it turned a sharp corner, at such a rapid rate was the wreck less driver urging his fiery team through the crowded streets, as he hurried to some station to arrest a man for fast driving. No one has made application for that police driver to be sent to the assylum as yet, but it is doubtless only an oversight on the part of those citizens knowing the facts. One day this week Bonney & Stewart's fine hearse team, which is noted for its gentleness, was standing waiting for the wagon to be loaded with a dead body, when all of a sudden the horses pricked up their ears and without further notice or warning took out at a Jay Eye See speed. Down the street they went knocking wagons and other vehicles helta skelta until the dead wagon crashed into a telegraph pole and brought the horses to a stand still. A kid, who saw the run away replied to a question as to what caused it, "Why the undertakers were pre paring to put a Mick and a Coon in the hearse at the same time and the horses wouldn't stand it. "I want to know what is the matter with my paper as I never get it? 1' disgustedly demanded a postoffice employee of a news paper publisher one da}' this week. "The paper is mailed regularly and if you do not get it, it is the fault of the postoffice department," was the publisher's reply. Where upon both of the men went to the office and after inquiry found the carrier's papers all in the office marked, "party unknown." Now this was not only laughable as well as ludicrouß, but it was also damnable, und, it was excusable on the part of the publisher, when he used invectives more forcible than polite to the man having charge of that particular depart ment One day this week a cook m one of the prominent restaurants of this city was complaining of having the dyspesia very bad. "Since I have been working at this restaurant," said he, "1 have not been able to get anything fit to eat and the \ay the food is gotten up is enough to kill a mule let alone a man," at that moment he remembered that he was the chief cook there, and he tried to smere things over by explaining as best he could, what he meant by using such language, but the more he explained the more ludi crous became the whole situation, until even he was compelled to break out in a roar of laughter. No wonder the average citizen kicks on restaurant grub, when even the man who prepares the grub declares that it is enough to kill a mule. A rather devout appearing young man, who talks long and loud at church meetings on Thurs evenings, was seen not many evenings ago in such a beastly state of drunkness as to be lament able. "Is not that Mr B. who is a devout member of the church?" was asked. "It is," was the reply. "Then I will go and talk with him." On adressing the young man and asking, "do you think that you are doing the right thing, and do you think you are practicing what you preach on Sundays?" the following came from the gentleman who had imbided too freely of pepper and ginger: "well now, my friend, you must not do as I do, but do as 1 tell you to do," a bit laconic,, nevertheless scriptorial. Those who heard it burst forth in a roar of laughter much to the discomfi ture of the would-be chastising administering angel. "I-came to live in Seattle for the express purpose of getting a divorce," said a delicate looking little lady one day this week in Judge Bensou's court, who was asking to be legally separated from her husband on the grounds of non snpporfc and cruel treat ment. This was a fatal admission in her case, and, for a time at least, it will prevent her from getting her separation papers. From the above it would appear that Seattle is the place where divorces are easily gotten if the applicants only know wheu to stop talking in their own defense. Al most as many divorces are granted in this city as there are marriage licences issued, which, to say the least, is deplorable. In this in stance neither laughableness nor ludicrousness play any part, but deplorableness is the entire shoot ing match. If what the quid nuncs said were true, something occurred in connection with the patroi wagon ooe day last week that was very amusing. A man who had been taken to the headquarters to sleep off an excessive jag, proved to be rather sick when he woke from his gagged state. It was decided to take him to the hospital for a few days since he had quite a bit of money on his person, which the police failed to find while he was gagging. On his way to the hospital in the patrol wagon he ordered the driver to go to a saloon and then he ordered drinks for the gang, which, owing to the onlookers, was refused by the policemen, but the fellow took in a couple of glasses of beer and bought a handful of cigars. He was waited upon by the dough faced policeman who sits in the wagon while the fellow drives at break neck speed through the streets. While this was going on a great crowd gathered around the wagon and some very laughable things were heard about the policemen driving the prisoners out to get wined and dined at the prisoner's expense. "Want a shave and hair cut, said a man last Sunday as he walked into a barbershop and his disheveled locks fell over his grizzly beard. The artist that attends to such, was not slow in getting the matted stuff off his face, because barbers do not like to have animals of that kind in their chairs. He had no, "fine day, sir," for that man, for he was not his kind. Then he may have SEATTLE, WASHINGTON, FRIDAY, JULY 6, 1900. thought there was a shadow of doubt of him not getting his money. The man being worked upon was rater reticent and patiently sub mitted to being turned first one way and then another without much tenderness on the part of the barber. When the work had been finished and the long, lean, lank fellow began to dig down in his jeans and at the same time remarked, "I am just from Alaska, and good shaves like that was a great luxury up there," and pulled out a roll of bills as large as the barber's arm and asked, "how much is.it?" "Ah, ah twenty-five cents. Oh no, fifty cents. No, ah nothing. Yes, something, but just anything you want to give me for such a neat and painstaking job as I have given you." As he finished the awkard remark roars of lauhter came from tha other guests waiting for, "you are next." The Klondiker likewise joined in the laugh at the barber's expense as he handed him a dollar with, "keep the change." "Last Saturday's Republican was a hummer and compliments of it were heard alike among frienfls and foes,'. 1 said a friend one day this week, "and, I was asked, who did the work?" was a concluding remark. It is hard to convince some men, who labor under the belief that a "white skin" is within itself an emblem of superior mental greatness, and it is impossible for one having a different color of skin under any circumstances to be equally men tally great. The only reason the editor of The Seattle Republi can is not classed among the brightest newspaper writers in the Northwest by the leading men of this section, is because they are not able to tear off their masque of race prejudice. Could they ever succeed in doing this for but a short space of time this paper would be supported as it merits, and the editor hereof could eat as regularly as the other fellows- We take occasion to speak thusly because such remarks are weekly made, not that those who make them believe any one else, save the man whose name is at the head of the editorial column, does do the work, but knowing no other way to poke fan he tries to make it appear that a sub rosa editor is kept under salary by the announc ed editor. Where such an editor would ever get his pay from, con sidering the measley support and patronage this paper >gets, its more than we can say, but regard less of the financial rediculous ness of the proposition they con tinue to tell it the same as if it was all perfectly plausable. "Well, if there is any one thing that I take pride in, it is in aiding the building of churches, and I never loose an opportunity in con tributing to solicitors collecting money for that purpose," said a well-known saloon man and gambler, one day this week. Giv ing to the cause of Christ by men who daily rob the Lord of what rightly belong to Him, and then compliment themselves for return ing a small pittance of the' stolen goods, is a new method of finding relief from a guilty conscience, and even saloon hangers-on always smile all over their faces, when the bar tender or the proprietor of some disreputable drinking joint, dig down in his tills and gives up fifty or a hundred dollars for church purposes, for they know twice the number of robberies will be committed therein that night to pay for the amount he has given to the church. 1 Kindly remember our advertisers when you buy. Also speak a good word for The Republican, FIUPIIIO'S_ TITS "Some are Savages, Others Semi- Civilised While Others arc Really Civilised," Says Phelps Whitmarsh—They are all Children in their Habits and Customs—They are Without Sense of Gratitude, yet Gen erous to All Visitors—Have no Originality, But Great Imita tors. Recent events in the disturbed districts in Luzon give especial interest to the study of Filipino character by Phelps Whitmarsh in the current Outlook. General statements upon this subject are difficult, because there are so many kinds of Filipinos. In some parts the native is a savage. In others he is a tamed barbarian. In still others he is semi-civilized. In a few instances he is really civilized. In all cases he is a child from birth to death, frivo lous, unthinking, and constant only in inconstancy. His want of tenacity in his opinions, leading him to accept today what he re fused yesterday, and to hate to morrow where he loves today, is what makes the Filipino so diffi cult for Europeans to understand. The Filipino never hurries or worries, and is destitute of "nerves'" in the Western sense. He endures hardship and calamity with won derful calmness, and is essentially a fatalist He seems to have no sense of gratitude or affection, save that resulting from sexual attraction. Even foster-mothers will leave, without a word of regret, the children they have nursed. He ia prone to sensuality, and the most jealous of lovers and hus bands. But even in his crimes he is childish. He will serve an employer honestly for twenty years, and then run away with $100, out of a safe containing $20,000, to gratify some woman's whim. He is easily impressed by show, and cannot believe that a man who lives simply can be either wealthy or powerful. He is an inveterate gambler, and saves his fighting-cock from his burn ing house before his wife and children. He delights in cere monial religion, and has no con ception of worship without images, lights, and ritual. His only conscience is fear of consequences. He is Jack at all trades and master of none, and will drive a carriage, cook a dinner, or paint a house with equal facility. Despite his nearness to the art of the Orient, his esthetic taste is very weak. The women stick to their picturesque native dress, but the men will immediately seek to imitate any eccentric costume a foreigner of station may choose to wear. Even the women show little taste in color. In the fine arts a Filipino shows no creative power. He has produced but one painter of even second rank. He composes no original music, al though his imitative faculty makes him a rapid learner and clever executant of other's compositions Many natives have studied in European colleges, but few have been successful. In acquiring foreign languages and book know ledge the Filipino is facile but superficial. Mr. Whitmarsh does not believe, contrary to a general opinion, that the Filipino is either rancorous or revengeful, except when his jeal ousy is roused He is too indiffer ent, indolent, and forgetful to pursue even a revenge. He will not tolerate punishment without cause, but his resentment is con_ fined to running away When convinced that he deserves punish ment he suffers with resignation, and bears no ill-will. He is the soul of hospitality, but will rob his guest. He is prodigal when he has money, and yet grasping* Even when he has nothing to con ceal he seldom speaks the truth. No one can predict under given conditions how he will reason or what he will do. "No one can understand his character," con cludes Mr. Whifmarsh, "because he is not yet sufficiently developed to have a character. He is a man with a child's nature." —Inter Ccean. x Irife In Santo Domingo. The homes of the peons are very primitive, merely huts built of plain boards split into strips about two and a half inches in width, and fastened with vines to four posts some twenty feet apart. The ground serves for a floor, while the roof is made of a net work of poles, forming a peak in the center and covered with several layers of palm leaves, fastened down with ropelike strips of the same palm leaf. Back of these huts they usually build a small shed, where the cooking is done over little iron pots, in which they burn charcoal. This pot is about as large as a good-sized wash basin, and has a hole iv the bottom for draught. The houses are furnished with a rough board set upon sticks for a table, one or two small native chairs, and a cot covered with cowhide. Here the peon lives with his wife and more or less naked children huddled together with his pigs, dogs and gamecocks. The native's one staple dish is known as sancoche—a stew of rice, beans, cassava, manioc, pork, plan tain, chicken, and other convenient ingredients. With this and a joint of sugarcane he makes his dinner and dessert. Any morning in the market place one may see him looking over heaps of sugarcane and selecting from them such sticks as his judgment dictates. If he has a trip to nuike, he does not bother with a lunch basket, but takes two or three joints of sugarcane. Having stripped the cane, he chews the pith and nour ishes himself with the juices there from.—lnternational Magazine. William J. Bryan has been re-nominated for President of the United States by the Democrats. The Kansas City conven tion has been one of the most stormy among Dem ocrats since the South Carolina convention, which resulted in an at tempt to split this govern ment in twain. The pa triotic Democrats were determined that Bryan heresies should not pre vail in the convention, but they, for the most part, lost out and the con vention again fastened 16 to 1 on the Democratic ass, though Imperalism is made the foremost hobby. Mr. Bryan was re-nominated without a dissenting vote, but no vice president has been selected [Friday morn ing] as yet. The press for Hill is very great and it is most likely that he will be nominated despite his protests. PRICE K!VE CENTS FOURTH JP JULY Was a Gala Day and Young Amer ica Made the Best of It—Wash ington, Jefferson and Adams Would be Well Pleased- Seattle Parade Covered Itself With Glory—Floats All Made a Handsome Appearence—A Mad Woman Demands Her Team of Paraders and Stops the Procession Another milestone in the Na tion's history lias been past, which brought its usual happiness to all manner of man. Could the sign ers of the Declaration of Inde pendence, promulgated gome century and a quarter ago, have peeped down on young America last Wednesday they would have been pleased beyond measure at the patriotic fires that burned so brilliantly on that day. Never will Old Glory trail in the dust so long as the sons and daughters of her Republic exhibit such a spirit of patriotism. Washington, Jeffer son and A.dams could say without hesitancy of the entire United States from Main to Mexico and from the Atlantic to the Pacific, "These are my beloved children with whom we are well pleased." Seattle's Fourth of July com mitteo promised the citizens a gala day on the Fourth and they more than kept their promise. The day was ushered in with the usual buzz, boom and roar of cannon aud fireworks. The thronging crowds surging to and fro on the streets left no room for doubt that the people were out for a night and a day off aud they proposed to make the very best of it. The steam boats and railroads brought their loads of humanity the morning of the Fourth for the celebration, all of whom but continued to swell the crowd, anxious to see and hear all. Grand Marshal Moore had issued orders that the parade move promptly at 10 o'clock, but it was quite 11 before it got in motion. It may have been slow in getting in motion, but what it lacked in promptness it quite made up in quality. Every feature about the parade is to be complimented even to the excessive amount the bands of music charged for their services. And on this point it has been sug gested that, the brass bands in future be oflered only a reasonable amount for theii services on such occasions aud, if the hold-up prop osition is tried, just cut that part of the procession out, and that excessive charging would not be repeated again soon. The police platoon, which lead the procession, made a splendid showing, and, if they could only capture evil doers as well as their slow and measured treads captured those looking at them in the parade, they would cease to be ornamental and at once become useful to this city. 'Uncle Sam's Colonies," which were to be one of the features of the parade, had a mishap at the last minute by a vioious woman appearing on the scene and de manding the phaeton in which the children were to be drawn, because "her man" failed to get her consent to let the team. "Cuba" was the only island represented. The postoffice carriers made a brilliant turn out, and Postmaster Stewart smiled plum back to his neck as they passed down the streets. Continued to the Fourth page.