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Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, October 12, 1889, Image 7

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vrn ere 8A MA ii wa s.
A farmer Lad some wheat stolen a
few nights since, and lit was so sure
that he knew who the thief was that
he came into town and secured a war
rant for a certain young man living
near him. When the case came up for
trial the defendant said he could prove
an alibi. In order to do this he had
brought in "his girl," a buxom lass of
22. She took the stand and swore that
he sat up with her from 7 ih the even
ing until broad daylight next morning.
"People can be very easily mis
taken," observed the plaintiffs lawyer.
"1 don't care - T know he was there,"
&ho replied.
"What did you talk about?" '
"Love!" she promptly answe?ed.
"What time did the old folks go to
"I gave'm the wink about 10."
"Sure he was there at midnight, are
' Yes, sir."
"Why are you sure?"
She blushed, looked over to her lover
and laughed, and getting a nod to go
ahead, she said :
"Well, sir, just as the clock struck
12 the old man jumped out of bed uj)
stairs and hollered lown : 'Sarah, yer
mar wants some o' that catnip tea,' and
we got such a start we broke the back
of the rocking chair and went over
backward kerplunk."
"Then the jury must understand that
you were seated on Samuel's knee ?"
"I object !" put in Samuel's lawyer,
and his Honor remembered the days of
his youth and sustained the objection.
Preston Times.
According to Dr. Leuf, when water
Is taken into the full stomach it does
not mingle with the food, as we are
taught, but passes along quickly be
tween the food and lesser curvative to
ward the pylorus, through which it
passes into the intestines. The secre
tion of mucus by the lining membrane
is constant, and during the night U
a considerable amount accumulates in
the stomach ; some of its liquid portion
is absorbed, and that which remains is
thick and tanaelous. If food is taken
into the stomach when in this condi
tion it becomes coated with mucus,
and the secretion of the gastric juice
and its action are delayed. These
facts show tho value of a goblet of
water before breakfast. This washes
out the tenacious mucus, and stimu
lates the gastric glands to secretion.
In old and feeble persons water should
not be taken cold, but it may be with
great advantage taken warm or hot.
This removal of the accumulated
mucus from the stomach is probably
one of the reasons why taking soup at
the beginning of a meal has been
found BO beneficial.
Miss Bluestocking Lydia and I have
been to the health lecture, and you
can't think how interesting it was! If
we could but get all the poor people to
attend the course, I am sure there
wouldn't be halt the misery and tick
Bees that there now is in the pariah.
Anxious Mother But, my dear, how
pale you look.
Miss Bluestocking -Yes, mamma, I
feel rather ill. The fact is that after
the lecture Lydia and T had three ices
each, and then Dr. Stethoscope insist
ed on buying me a bi box of chneo
ate creams, and as he wouldn't have
any of them, of course Lydia and I had
to eat them all ourselves. London
PirL-Me-1 p.
i in: itEsr rosiTios.
"Now. Maggie, let us understand
one another thoroughly before we are
married. You, of course, will recognize
me at the head of the house ?"
Yes, Clarence, you are to be Pres
ident, provided you grant me my
"There, ii is granted."
"Thank you, darling. Thai I am
unanimously elected Treasurer.
American Commercial Traveller.
ii:.' of Denver's leading and wealth'
test citizens has just built an elegant
residence on Cupitol Hill, says the
Timeeol that city. It is intended as
i welding prosciit to it diiuliter who
i- t.. in- narried soon. The geotleman
ajso ei us two hits adjosning Iboee ui.on
which tlie hotise is erected. Tlie
anger davnghtei
oi beiiig okei
mmmI bet si.ste
if the genUeman,
to illioilt the title
sji, ami e are K'oinK' I" put a shfn
t l.o tvo atljoiiiiiin I. .t s with those
i,i. mi it : ' These lota uo with the
Colonel Sid Jones, who is associated
with John It. Jeffrey in J publica
tion of the Annual Theatrical (inkle,
and Directory, is a veteran. No one
would ever know this unless he looked
up the record of Colonel Jones' past i
career, because he never hints at his !
soldier life. He does not take much
stock in the If. A. R., and he is not
looking for a pension. He can earn a ,
living without it. and lie is oue of the :
... - a . ,
minv hravA soldiers who (In not ad- :
vertise their prQWeSl with the decora
tion of a bronze badge or button.
Colonel Jones organized the first com
pany ever raised in the State of Ken
tucky for the Federal army. He was
in commaud of a company of the State
Guard, located at Ludlow, Ivy., and
w hen war was declared General Simon
Bolivar Buekner called a meeting of
the officers. He wanted them to de
clare themselves. Just then the State
Guard were in camp. Well, the situa
tion was talked over, and Jones de
clared Ids intention of quitting the
camp and coming out for the Union.
With him was another company com
mander and the captain of the bat
tery. Colonel .lones had eighty-four
men in. camp. After the conference
he canvassed his men. All but one
agreed to accompany him. and before
morning the objector joined the rest.
General Buekner told the three com
panies that they must leave their arms
behind, but they did not. The next
morning they marched out of camp,
and. outside ol a lew hisses and groans,
they were unmolested. The went
and fought for the Union. Chicago
The Tiute Indians of Southern Cali
fornia esteem the nut-pine worm a
great delicacy. They chiefly use them
in soups, of which they never tire. The
worms are called nut-pine because
tl icy feed on the nut pine trees. In
August these trees begin to be cov
ered with green worms, as thick as a
man's finger and front one and a half
to two and a half inches in length. The
worms soon grow wings and fly into
the trees. The worm, which should
now be dignified by the name butter
fly, does not leave the tree, but soars
around among the branches extracting
the oil from the nuts. In about a
month the body is full of oil; so full,
in fact, that the entrails have been
forced out. Then the wings fall off.
It is about this time that the Piutes
make their appearance and camp
among the trees. They come in large
numbers and provided with sacks.
The worm having lost its w ings again,
it crawls along the limbs of the tree to
the trunk and falls to the ground. In
cidentally it falls itdo a trap prepared
by the Indians. To prevent the worms
from escaping they dig trenches around
the root of the trees, the trendies hav
ing concave sides. As many as fifty
tons of these worms are collected in a
single season.
i.'nj ust Taxatioa.
It is utijiirtt to tax the htomach with burthens
that it cannot bear, Many silly people thus ty
ranniss that faithful servitor until it rebels ami
punishes them si tbsy deserve, Dyspepsia is
usuaUy the ohUd of gastronomic (oily, but
whether tin's or the natural associate of Inher-
sat feebleness from obildhood, it li itirely and
nleaaantlv remediable with Hoatstter's Stomach
Hitters, tho finest nml must highly lanfttonsd
caatric tonic in existence. Ai a result of the
tone Impacted, to the stomach, ami tho iBflSSIISSrl
activity of its digestive ami assimilative action,
insured by the persistent use of this benign iu
vigOient, general stamina is augmented, the
nerVS strengthened and trnntjuilizoil, and a
tendency to insomnia and hypochondriasis de
feated. Biliousness, chilli and fever, rheunia
tiHin and kidney troubles aru eomiuercd by this
adiniruble mi dictns.
1)11 1 I, 7 HESH l I N I tfD.
The return wkich 1ms just been pub
lished tf the convictions I'm- drunken
ness in England and Wales during the
four years from 1nn. to XHH, inclusive,
is not ptrticulatly cheerful reading,
The total convictions decreased daring
the Brat three years, falling from 154,
601 in 1886 to 189.493 in 1887. lint in
hhh there was a sudden rise to 156,
609, a number which happily does not
nceessurily mean that alhitil si persona
out of every 1,000 not only pet drunk
but diagrai e themselves in sued a man
ner as to he taken before a magistrate,
We mav take comfort from the retlec
tion thai tin-re are repeated cases of
the conviction of tin- same person.
Iii Wales tie pnipoilioa is about one
ooaviotion to every l
he n intn. being parth
by the figure! for the
inorifan, here there a
"7 people, the
a eoiltlte.1 lor
county of i la
i re 1,7 1: 1 casa
iillte !otl Which
III KMii Hix nil mt JOM.M
1 1 i ii i 1 1: mi .
Solon Shingle Owens was fonder of
a joke on himself than of one on the
other fellow. In his last stock-actor
days at the Madison Square Theater.
where hecveated the pari of I lid Rogers
in "Esmeralda." he devoted hil ample
leisure to gin and genialty. It was his
delight to surround himself with young
men of the right son and regale them
with tales of his personal adventures
between pulls at his pale but potential
i! 1 .
"A long while ago thus runs one of
Owens' stories I w as doing a star tour
in the West. One night we gavve a
double bill, Shingle and Live Indian,
in a town iu Indiana The next morn
ing we took a train tor Indianapolis.
In our car was a native who had evi
dently spotted me, and after the cus
tomary remarks concerning the weath
er, asked me if I didn't belong to the
"1 assured him that the show de
longed to me same thing, you know,
Hayseed laughed and added : 'Gosh
darn it! I thought I knowed you;
that's why I spoke. 1 seen yon las
night; you acted the clown fits' rate.
I've got a boy to hum that'll make a
fits' rate clown, an' I jest thought I'd
kinder ask if you couldn't give him a
job. He's jest full of comical capers,
an' las' night when me an' the old
woman was a-lookin at you cuttin' up
monkey-shines. Martha sez to me:
"Beub, that's what our boy ought to
be a doin'." That's why I mention it.
I'm sure Benb'd make a fortune
amongst you downs, for he's a reg'lar
nat'ral born fool, anyway.'" Ex
change. A Neu Departure
From ordinary business mstheda Is mads
by iho manufacturers ..f Dr. Pisroe's Golden
Medical Discovery, in guaranteeing iliis
world-fumed remedy to cure all diseases
arising from derangements of the liver or
stomach, as Indigestion. dyspepsia, bil
iousness, or "liver complaint, or from im
pure blood, as hoils. blotches, pimples,
eruptions, sculp disease, salt-rheum,
scrofulous sores, and swellings and kindred
ailments. Money paid for "Dlsoovory"
promptly returned if. "ii fair trial, it doesn't
Don't hawk. hawk. Mow. spit, and dis
trust everybody with your offensive bronth,
but use Dr. Sage
end it.
itarrh R01 ly and
"Mr. Sims, take my advice and never
get married, J am bo sick of married
life, I have not been homo for two
days. "
"Is that so, .lolin ? Why, I should
think you ought to lie happy. I heard
your wife fell heir to 610,000 only yes
"The deuce you say! Usee you to
morrow, Sims, So long." -American
Commert ial Traveler.
To-Night Md To-Worrow Niuiit,
And ouch day and night during this week
you can get at all druggists' Kemp's Bal
aam for the Throat nml J.imgs. acknowl
edged to be the most successful remedy ever
sold for tho euro of t oughs, ( roup. Bron
chitis, Whooping; Cough, Asthma and Con
sumption. Set a bottle to-day and keep it
always in the house, so you can check your
cold at onco. l'rico 50e und ILU0, Bample
botllo free.
Be cheeful; do not brood over fond
hopes unrealized until a chain, link
after link, is fastened on each thought
and wound around the heart. Nature
intended you to be the fountain-spring
of cheerfulness and social life, and not
the traveling monument of despair and
The Difficulty Experienced
In taking Cod Liver Oil is entirely overcome
in Scott's Emulsion ..f Cod Liver Oil ami
Kypophosphites. ' Is as palatablt as milk.
Mini the most valuable remedy that has ever
been produced for tlie cure nf Consumption,
Hcrolula and Wasting Diseases. Do not fail
to try it. ( i
Tnr. iiiiin of whom society makes a lion
is uevor inclined to growl. -SotnervilU
Is it trononvy to save a few cents buying
a cheap snap ..r strong wssblng powder, ana
otdollart In ruined, rotted clothes? If
not, use 1 lob ti ins' Electrlfl Soap, whito as
snow and ns pure. Ask your grocer for it.
It happens a little unluckily that
the persons who have tin- most infinite
Contempt for money are tlie same that
have tlie atrongeal appetite for the
pleasures it procures.
Oregon, thm PanMUae f fanners.
M fld, eqoabla climate, certnin and abundant
eropa. Heat fruit, (train. Rraaa and stock m
try in the world, Full Information free Address
the Oreo,,,, Iuimic.riit.ion Hoard, Portland. Orcm.
Ask your druggist for "Tsnslll'l PttBUB. '
Weak Women
Owe to ISIIBISSllai a get tB tsks II'-ol'-. gsiSSSMI
l.anlla. Hi view . f tlie meat Fallal it hot giVSB ttV M
X'iT onj.iTimnr sad n.t sorrow
Is our dostuirtl on. I or war;
But to not that eaeli to-morrow
Find us farther than to-day.
Tho soul imont so aptly tipffwa ly tha
poet ought in sound like S trumpet to every
-luucish soul, iind animate ihem to now
ana vigorous efforts to Improve their om
ditlon. To all thos" who haw the do-dre to
press forward, hut who are not sure of tho
wav, Wt say. writ'' to B. F. Johnson i.e.
ltu hinoud. Va., and they will be of service
to you.
The rinlit hand thnml) of a hotel visitor
is most uufortunate. It is fio,uently in
tits soap.' Km Orleatu Picayune.
A it.nuiiiui Picture free,
For a 'J-oont stamp ito pav posta an 1
wrapplBat) wo will mail a panel photo
crnvure Ol our popular picture. "Kissing at
seven. Seventeen, and Seventy." Address
the makers of the grsal SQti-DilS remedy,
"Bits Beads," J, r. smith ,v Co., si. Louis,
Now wk know why a Jap wears such a
pained look on his face. The Japawass
cui'iuuboi :s owr three ft-et lony;.
For Sciatica.
"Sb-attyciiral .' Vntrrtfay Crlpphif
at DnrootsTS and DsAiaas,
THE CHARLES A. vOGELER CO.. Baltimore. Md.
Ely's Cream Balm
j III.. -o l .-.il.
Apply BsltO till" each nnMrt'.
ELY BROS., M Warren St.. s. Y.
Mn art tor !.. 'atalogiu
I llll II. (I HI III I .' . ( III,.!... III.
.1 F N I
tills FArEH ...!.'". " ., .....
iu unitD imikio i.v our leant.
e n nuun i ill i.i I I ICS
int. i i i;kin.
Ml I'M i CO.,
111,'IuihiihI. Va.
-IIom Wan,. ii made W.vt. lime
glen, i 'iirrtaws. Hhi m. h. nto..
at .. ni-t. c Si-n.l l..r i;-t i Illi it.e-1 ii.k CO., I liaafa,
ie-NTioN mis rrf R aa. nrnn Taanaau,
W II II P urn ii anieil to l earn 1 nli srai In
lUUnU IU C. s, i ( n at i . ois tunnelled Ulrclllara
it. .-, anarexi valbntini Brom,, JaneHvtlle. WU.
MENTION THIS PAPBK hi, VBITiaa rn ,ii,i,iiiim.
it I (f it. Family Hoale, Brami Itatii and s.'.i..r
mJf n..rll. k OliiOKSonri
MKNTion THIS PAPtS wmN a an
Chicago. HI.
.1. S. I 11,11
ii i u ii.--t ooromlaati n mi.i :n nil-.
I . III., (,11111.. V 11 UK .. I III. UK.'. III.
MB LI I M0 lb, 1
HI si s THIS
latform. tin- l.miti Ih . air, IJU h..
Ion Wauuii Scale. 4U. 9 ton, $'.u. Mat
Alii, r urin scale ( o . i ni. ua'.. ill.
allCN'l II IN THIS I'Ari.K wit, iu . ...
Will cure Blood Poiaon where
ii rcuryfaila, Owned andfor
Tueiucily Co.. Omaha, Neb. write.
i his rAi'KK wats wRiosu t avaavMi aa,
kidder's pa8til5S?H.i:;va!:
ILI.'matuwii, M ,..
Un I U II VI Miniv rim and tat onl; Uflt
A Un ii al ra
1tts Rsstorsr tt
less Itlnista Ti - ' Ito
tial hel.iln j and I
t Vitality silo mi A Merislloua lTirioratr, nllrt
W harmless. Ur mail.
Ml : Tlill
i. o rer . 1 irculars fiee. Da, I'AMi.y iioiwm.
1 A 1' I. It. whin w B i Tl N S To a nr iBTiaaiu.
ee to
i i-i null
ltoohcstcr. N. V.
7 in. x r in. 70 pagsa,
i ii.. in in. 1 1 e.i over.
aruT rnCC 1,11 ipplicaUon encli gone
bc.ni I rntt i i atamp, by addreaalni
THEODORE HOLLAND, P. 0. Box 120, Philada., Pa.
Plan's Ttumvly for Catarrh la tho
Ileal, Kaxient lo Uae, ami Cheapest.
Bold by flruijKlsta or lent by mall,
c K. T. Lruieltuii'. WarrsOi l'a.
lr Tav.N OURVHtS CHaNGt QV ut
jbook TO'W0MAN'
i'hl Oldest Mtdu inr m the W orld n probably
This ariTi-ie b S oan rally prauaraal peyalelaa a pro
ar-rlptloiiauii'l has been In eOBMant uae 'or neiirly a
century. There are few dMSStsa to which iiiuiiklml
ar' auhjiM't more illatreaslng than aor" eye-, anil
none, perhaps, forwttlob more remedies hSVfl bees
tried irtthrnit luoocaa PorsllesterasJ Inflammation
oftheeyea it la an Infallible remedy, if tha dlree
tiii an' roiioweii it will never fall. We particularly
Invite the attention of phyatcSani It- merit'.. For
SbjbyaUdrosgUiU JOHN b. TBOJUPBOM, BOlti
co., Tsar, s. v. gatsbllihsn I7SJ.
a tturranUd ' , 8
wg I
I' T i.-1't Iree iinywher,-
' Kit
llre.M "JOSKH lie
p the Iralsht,
ilintfliHrnt"'. N
This Trnan
ir I" on
rsrjir Tim Best
Hi a ' ;:roof
In tho world.
A 1 I H""ii
''f i " ':
Send fcrltat nf t.two artlrtee etone-haf
emit til PI ('Ml. .! C. . rlll.'.l.' 111.
uimii.s mis rink -air. , oaaa.
MCcuta wanted Mi- !. .-at...! V i
I catarrh . QSideBc Samp, t.v ii. all
I I Brew-trr Hull,. Ml. 11.
tru-.tT ru
auc CTiinv
umc o I uu 1 1
:iand. etc . thcmiudi
taught ov "nm ( m alar
tree, llm i . r.rl
NkuCol.UKOE. Hnffalo. X.v
'JIM"N 1 t.l-, I , l K '
twin. ...
hmHIi. ra ' . - i-f rlial H
an, I oaay UUfX Dr. J. U
Mcphenv I.ehanon. olti.k.
u FK ai vaertaa to
TpTjJrT $ 7 5 per m ont hT7T(T" mpc mho
HU L II I O bsJ4mj a'tit man oi woman to Mil our g wl
WANTED " ', lv- h 81" ,"M
" ' prompih and tlfJflsjM ;.. sXlanca. KulUar-
tiai M indurd llvr r
oALAnT. '., Ufc Boi Host..,., Ma.
l ntr,,t, ,l.lune , I tB
I'rlce, line Dollar.
Magnetism and Menthol as a
Remedial and Curative
Presa time In time many invention ami .WI.-m
hc lrr.ii placed upon llx market claimma n BUIS
i-Hlari li. nruraliiiA. hr.'ii.'litlia, cti'.. maul of m Inch
SN aaid u. oetttalB electric or -....u: m curaUr
Dr Palmer ia a Mstiamsai who bai davotad a tifa
ct Html to tlic Mil. ii . I ..I catarrh ami dliestefl "f tin
head, Inroat, an.) Iiiuhh. an.l home time sln.f ha
rommcuceil a aeriea cl etperlmentM with a v'--w to
deaarmlnlns whatiiar any oomblnaUon oould la
orniad whloh woald kill the pareaite sad net as a
lioaluitf power at tlie aama tltua. and at li'iiutli suc
reedeii in detamilnliui thai mentn ol, hen aomblnad
With itiaiitH'tthin. would it" ho, hut how to arranaa
theM aoenilngli opposita aseata no nn to raiidaf
their n,' convenient and "(factual was a qusstton "f
aome difllciilty, m tcnuih he aeooeeded in. losflnlns
w iihin a ( ulcanlta tuba three Inohaa Iodk an.l ahoui
three quartan ..i an Inch In diameter a pert act roaa
II, hi' luitteri Itt ttie form Of a COll Oi Htiel wire. PI
tlie interior Of this batter is st,r,'il a line graile ,.f
imported menthol. The Midi of the tube ar,' oloaaa
bv ui, ket cape, whiohi when removed, admit ct the
free Inhalation ol tt lectro raentbplised sir. Ttia
menthol acts a lermactde, while the tuiiiineto-
alectrio force Niimuiaiinu the weakened nerves of
the diseaaed parta Into healthy action forma twos,
dertul baailni power, tliereby raooesstuuji Itopplnl
any further depredatloni
The (umeawhen InhaJsd are rsfMahins ami cool
InK, ami for the Immediate i el let and apeed ouraos
catarrh, cold in tha head, ha lever, headache, ueu
rajfte, catarrhal deafneaa, etc., it in unaqualed.
It curea headanha in live 1111111111"". Here throal la
one ot the dlaeaaea Immedlateli aneeted brtholae
baler. One parch taartbitaaiieaka 01 the Inualar:
Nl iM.n.iv. Wis. AiikusI ... IMI '. A, ',',rn,
Chicago, in.; in mi sin Incloaed you will Bud one
dollar (tl.0Di to pay for Inhaler you sent me on Jul
h. i do not kuow whether it wilt oursmeol desl1
BeiS or not, but I do thiol it prevents me Ircm hav
1 11 u tin. beadacbe. 1 have only hmt the iieiniai iia
once alnee 1 reoeiveu it, in."- been very mu.-ii
tpuibled with beadaohe tor two or three years.
Wihhinit von lUCOeaa, ami thankinu Toll for ur
kindncaa. I am. h Mil r.'Kp.'ct. yont a truly,
fmup a. Baxtis,
Beware of Imitation, as there are unaorupulons
peraona ensued In the manufacture ol a ipurlons
inhaler 1 1 1 n t acrongly reaemulea the genuine,
run directiona, taatimoiuais, etc , lentwithaaoal
if M.11 are afflicted with Catarrh, aeml sil.oo ami
gel a Magnetic Inhaler, which is certain tpaftord
iiisiimt reiiei ami 1. permauenl cur.' Addreaa 10.
. (l.WIMK, Weatem igront, 871 ITrauktluHtai
I liloatCOi '"
Warranted tor Five V ..... - hy tha Manufacturer.
8T1 I l AMD I IMNli.
Ornamented Head 00 Iron stand Drop Leaf Tav
hi of Walnut. Oil-pollabad, witii Patent drop leaf
Support: Uothli ( over, with Veneered Panala, I'aaa
oi two Drawara, with Look, Veneered aruuta, and
elegant Miokel-Plated Daop-nlns llaudiea.
Kach Machine Is tUTBlabed with QBS Knot BSSS
ner, OneBorew Driver, One Wrencn, One Oil ( 'an ami
Oil, One Oanse, One Oauge Berew, on" Kxira i'hroat
Plate. I me Ultra Uheck Hprtns. one Paokage ot Me
dia, BU BObbina, and One Inslrm turn Hook.
in nut n 1 8,
In addition to ttia ahove liat of acenaaorlea. wa
f.irmh with each Machine line 'linker, One loot
Kultler, One Hi t oi l'late llemmera. liya different
widtha iii to ot an inch, one Hinder, and one
Thread (.'utter.
w win aend to any person that remits ua a cav
OfBoa or Expraai nonay Order, Hank Draft, ,,r tha
( art, ii, a llealatereil Letter tor KOI ItiKKN lOI,
l.AKS, THK Hill lOO I.KIM. I. It every week
fot oK FkAh, an i i n,' oi in,' above daa, ribei
Bewlna itaenioea, 'lie machine will he earetully
packed In a miliBtantial wooden crate, ailppd liy
nreiSbt over tin- moat direct route, titilotia ordered
ahipped hy aipreaa.
Every ladv in pi ad "t n K',..d, rellahla hewlna Ma
chine ehouTd lake a.lviinlaue ot thi offer and aetoSS)
at tin- manutacturera' whoicKah, pice, whicb , an
riot i.e obtained in any ..ti.o manner unie s ,ma.
Town, County, and State inanity an.l ad lr hn TUB
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