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rv-n . r t i . ; ny i- jv? THEOHIOAQO H!j.GHL,E3. vV - it sctU3 strnnge Hint when n m:iu Is InUcu In he imtnHy fwl iut out about Itf rhllaikllililn Hceonl. The rceupr How did you come t fnll lu? The rescued 1 didn't corac to Tall In: I came to tNu. Uarcr' Weekly. tlrowno Salt la cheap the world over. Towue Humiiht IMd you ever buy chloride of sodium at a drug More? Life. "Has his lonWilp exhibited any Kymptotii!" of affection?' "Yes. Ho has tried to Hud out how much we art worth.'-l.ire. "Oh. George, our dinner decoration! nre only white and red." "Well, when we jret the bill ercotlilng will b l)lne."--Bo!iton Tout. William Good It's shocking the way Mint' young men upend money. Jack nastier Isn t It! Now 1 ret everything oa credit. Urookl.ui Life. Mom It drives me frantic to e m-otnen standing In n utreet enr. Fern e! I've noticed that It turni your head. Philadelphia North American. irate citizen (to scorcher) III, there! Have pedestrians no rights lu Uils city? Scorcher (whizzing by)-Ccrtaln-lyi they have funeral rites. Brooklyn Life. Aid (charging furiously up) General, the enemy una captured our left wing. What shall we doV The commander l'ly with the other. Philadelphia In iiulrer. lie I understand that Mls Derwent Is quite a composer. She Yes, she compose tliu greater part of what you we of her, every luortilng. Cleveland I-ender. T wyun OoriibLiJccr won't catch nnjr llsh If he wears that suit. I doubt If he'll even see one. Trlplott He should ut le.iKt seersucker with that coat on. ItoKton Pott. Molly Jack called on me last night and stayed until 11! o'clock. Dolly lis told me this mottling that it was very late before he could get away. Now York .lournal. "Ilnio you seen Maud's rainy day costume? It's too nweet for any use." "Why doesn't she wear It to-day?" "It looks so much like rain." Cleveland Plain Dealer. First truiujt Did yer glvo her ilat gag about belli' too feeble ter work? Second tramp Yes, She said dat wua what wuz iter matter wid de gag. New York Journal. Mr. Ctituso Faugle, what Is the dlf fereuce between a hectic Hush nod bobtail tlushV Mr. Fangle A liectlo Hush Is red. while a bobtail Hush leaves somro'uc blue. Hoston Post. "Then, proud beauty, jou refuse my loveV" said he. "Well," said the sum mer girl, thoughtfully. "I don't know but that I might be willing to take nn option on it." Indlaiiaolls Journal. She I nm quite sure you had too much champagne when you called on mi) yesterday afternoon. He Yes; I thought I'd Just look around to-day to tee If I was engaged to you. Punch. Agnes 1 put u plaster on Iteggy when ho wetit to ask papa for my hand. Meg That was to draw him out, eh? Agues Yet, nnd.lt also mus tered up his courage. Now York Jour nal. "They say your minister and oura had a race to see which would perform the most marriage ceremonies during June. How did It come out?" "Oh, It was a He, of course." Philadelphia In quirer. "We have rather a long account to Fettle with Turkey," said Prince Con Htnntlne, grimly. "Yes," Bald King George, with u slight smile, "and it's a runulng account at that." Cleveland Plain Dealer. "You old plug," said the farmer to his balky horse, "you actually ain't worth kllltn' unless," he added, after second thought, "unless I could innnago to git you killed by tho railroad." Clncln uatt Unqulror. Weary Watklns: "flay, what Is moral courage, unyway'" Hungry Hlgglns: "I heaid n preacher say It was tut power to say 'no.' Weary Watklns: "When you're asked to drink, or to work?" Indianapolis Journal. Hicks: "Did you hear nbout Maeklln? They called tho Rev. Mr. Dudley to his liedsldo last evening." Wlcki: "You don't mean to say ho Is In a dying condi tion?" Hicks: "Oh, no; only a bad case of Insomnia." Boston Transcript. She: "Do yon really believe that Ga briel will t-ound n trumpet for .ill of us mi tho Inst day?" He: "Well, I nra sometime half Inclined to believe that -otno folks will Insist upon blowing their own horns, uven then." Cleve land Leader. Awkward young dramatist (to man ngerj Might I abk how my three-act drama I coming on, sir? Has it bcon accepted? "Tho three members of tho reading committee have read It and think It will do with one act cut out." "I am glad to hear It Is no worse, sir." "lint," continued the manager, "unfort unately, each ono wants to strlko out a different act." I'llegendo Blatter. The red-faced youngster had con ented to becomo the new ottlco boy, I'll give jou $4 per week," said th great and eminent lawyer, as ho looked at the successful applicant In h b. nlguant and Indulgent way. "Say, Ms," responded tho youngster, "why don'tcher say $4 a week. Per sounds as though I wouldn't get it." New York Telegram. Indignant. "lie merely kissed my hand. I could not speak for indlguatlon." "Yes." "He mu.it have thought mo deaf and dumb." But even In such a contingency, was It to l assumed that the hand was to perform all of tho multiplex functions that usually dovolvo upon tho lips? Detroit Journal. Tho unmarried men are becoming more coy and more timid every day, and the unmarried women are becom ing more aggressive and bolder. ALWAYS SOUGHT by, the Best People. FOUND in the Best Places. FOR 58 YEARS HALLET 8l DAVIS PIANOS- Have Been a Conspicuous Sncoess. They are REMARKABLE for ORIGINALITY, BEAUTY and DURABILITY, Sold Only by the Makers, at Makers Prices, Visits of Inspection Solicited. Catalogues Mailed Free,' STEDIWAT PIANOS 8tandard of the World .And the Best. ARE 80LD ONLY BY HALLET DAVIS CO., 239-24 1 Wabash Avenue. Corner Jackson Street. LYON, POTTER &CO., 17, 19, 21 VAN BUEEN STREET, STEHTWAY HALL MURRAY & CO. FLAGS. ESTABLISHED ISSO for Stores Residences TENTS. .'it Manufacturers of TENTS for An purpo,e8' AWNINGS s QWMV of Evsry UlUliU COVERS FLAGS Description. White Canvas and Water Proof. of All Nations. Bml wnaf nana far at tlM Warn ol Bmcmm Field, FIELDFLOWERS TayVv WaaBBaj pvVnl ISSasjBjBSjisj )9tIIt VlVflT The moat btanttlul Art Production ot the cen tury. "A II kaach f tk. amc frtir.it f kit. Sianaatbmt tnm tktraa acm f Iimh riild'a tna.fUvt.' Contain flection or the raoit keautliulof the poem of Eugene field. Hand somely illustrated by Ihlrty-ftve ol the world'a freateat nttltta aa their contribution to the Mon ument Fund. Bat lor tke akl c.atrlkatlM .1 lb. t.tartltUtklikMkcMta a.t ? beta aaaatoc red f.rl7.e. For tale at book tore, or tent prepaid on receipt of f f.io. The love offering to IieCmtd'e Poet Laureate, publlthed by the Com Snlttee to creates fund to build the Monument Wd to en re for the family of the beloved poet. Eugeat Field MosuMcst Souvenir Fund, i. MtarM Stmt, Catatp, lit tf&Fi&asfitX NOT! CHANCE OP ADDRESS: 321-333 S. MML ST. W. M, HOYT COMPANY, WHOLESALE GROCERS OfPOBTlBS AMD JOBBKM OF TEAS In. 1, 3, 5, 7 & 9 MlclUeaa in. aii 1 to 9 Hirer Strut JOHN ADANK, Livery, Boarding, :Ar; SALE STABLES. 331 and 333 Webster Ave. (Tel. North 646.) CHAS. BURMEISTER, UNDER TAKER! 303 Larrabee Street, The Halt ol' thn Knrtli. In 1111 old-fnuliloned lioinu of Now Or lean lliero was u company at dlnin r, ami the laillcH woiu (HhuiihmIuk tlio woman iitiextlon. A Keiitlt'tiiiin priHeiit, after lieni-lug all tlio pro ami conn, facet IoiihI.v remarked that two pivaeli era wcit' tllHCUHHltii; tho phiiio problem rowntly Inthl5 iMjirliiir.-.nml tliy hoth ntceil tliat It portemleil evil, ami "that women with rrximiiHllilo for iiidsI of tho evil In tho world- in fact, women were woico than met.." Ono of tlio la illort Imllemmtly retorteil: "Imlood, tliey aio not; women nre tho wilt of tho tnrtli." "Dnt'B ho, honoy," jiut In old Aunt Sifnn fioin tho Ultehcn; "ddt's do llllilo tttif. foe Hhoro. Women Ik do salt oh do 011 rlh. .ItiHt think oh LotV wlfo." And everybody laiiKln.'il at tho midden and 11 no. petted apiilleatlon of tho old llllilo Ktory. It Ik n lino man who dons not Ioku lih srlp by tho thno ho la CO years old. Livingston Warehouse and Tan Go INCORPORATED. lffl Furniture and Pianos Moved in Padded Vans. STORAGE for Fine Furniture. Private Rooms with Keys. General Express ' Business. Bussa and Sleighs for Parties. OFFICE: 235 WELLS STREET. - LONG DISTANCE 'PHONE NO. 71t Drexel Cafe, Thirty-ninth Street and Cottage Grove Avenue.... nHL Lnncn Her w Bar. Steaks, Chops and Shell Pish Our Specialty. G-SIO. H. XPJE1.XaStrOEC. - ACmixtasox. TILePHONI, LAKE VIKW ISS. HENRY E. BRANDT, Paints and Wall Paper, 446 & 448 Lincoln Avenus. Paintingr. Faperhanfrinfr and J3eoorat.ins; Whilaule: Is. 410 IrtMlul Aft., eir. Lliooli At. TC(k:W.a. GEORGE G. LBNIE, Dealer in All Kinds of COAL and WOOD. 604-608 Milwaukee Avenue. MPlioito West GO. ADAMANT THE PERFEOTION OF WALL PLASTER! AND SECURE PERFECT RESULT 517 Chamber of Commerce, (TsJophon Main 20t8, OHIOAOO. MILWAUKEE, WIS. OETROIT. MICH. WEST lUPEItlOR, WIS. J. E. GOODMAN & CO., Rialto Building, Van Buren and Sherman Sts. a DEALERS IN S3 Grain, Provisions & Stocks Z. R- CARTER. 9. B. CARTE Z. R. CARTER S 8R0.. Wholesale Dealers In Grain and Hay Halsted and 16th Streets, TELEPHONE CANAL 27. . .