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entered Second Clatt Matter October 11, 1IN, at the Pott Offlea at Chicago, Illinois, undar Act of March a, 1879. INDEPENDENT IN ALL THINGS, NEUTRAL IN NONE Kntered aa Second Claas Mattar Octobtr 11, ISM, at the Feet Offlea at Chicago, Illinois, undar Act of March a, 1171. TWENTY-FIFTH YEAK, NO. II. CHICAGO, S A TUltD AY, DECEMBER 1JI. 101. 8INQLB COPY FIVE CENTS WHOLE NUMBER 1,2(50 ROAST ROUTERS County Board Boasts the Alleged Bureau of Public Efficiency and Its (rang in Their Own Grease. The Fight for County Gossip from Individuals and Parties Race and What They Are Their Country. Items of Interest About People in Public Life and the Ambitions of Both Them and the Men Behind Them. liie Heard of County Commission ers stood up for Its own dignity and reputation on .Mondny Decemhor 8, Hi 13, when tho following? preamble und rt'HolutloiiH Introduced by Commission erDanlel.l. Harris wero adopted by It by n vote of 8 to (i: Whereas, A cortuln body parading under tin- name of the Chicago Uu reuu of Public Klllcloncy bus inudu and Is making persistent and per nicious attempts to Interfere und med dlo In the uriulrs or Cook County as planned and put Into operation by tho olllelnls duly elected by tho peopio to conduct such affairs, and WhoreuB, Such body under the guise of non-pnrtlsanshlp has Bought to In .loci Into tho ordinary business nlfulrs ot tho County Hoard factional political fights with n vlow to drawing tho pub lic mind away troin thu elllclenry and economy that tho present Uoard of County Commissioners has Inaugu rated und Is Becking to maintain, and Whereas, It has been repeatedly shown that tho so-called 'experts" em ployed by tho l'.ureau are wholly In competent to administer even the siuullest and most inconsequential of public affairs, ami Whereas, Agents of this body were given c-art blanche In one of the ofllceB now under Democratic control for u period of four months during which they raked over every book and paper in that olllcu and then silently with drew and refused to publish the re sults of such Investigation becuuso It rellected gient credit upon a Demo cratlc administration, and Whereas, In this same office an other Investigator carrying the cre dentials of this Hureuu refused to In vestlgate any of the affairs of that of lice bhowlng unfavorable conditions previous to the time that It came un der Democratic control saying "thut U not what I was sent ufter," and also so) lug, "Show mo the snmo kind of thing since the Democrats came In and ue will go to It," and Wheri-tiH, Another Investigator em ployed by this Hureau was shown to have been paid fit) u day while muklne his "fair and Impartial Investigation" arid at the same time was being car ried upon the payrolls of an ofllce un der llepubllcan control lor 250 every calendar month, und U'heivnH. Iii number Instance tho Investigators of this bureau sent to I a Democratic olllce were so youthful, .-allow and Inefficient us to become a hindrance to the work of the olllce to which they were nsslguod, while their Illppautly told obscene stories and ri buld Jokes wero so nauseating to men of clean mind as to make their pies euce In the olllce objectionable, und Whereas, An Investigation recently made by n joint committee duly ap pointed by the legislature of the state of Illinois dUclnsed to the people of this country that this same self-styled hureau of eillcleucy was founded and Is being maintained by person's whose wealth -)b wrung from the labor of .voting women, and WheieiiK, This sumo legislative com mittee brought to light the fact that these young women aro compelled to labor long hours for a wage that does not even permit at the purchase ol the bure necessities of life a wago tho insulllciency of which causes the bea con lights on the path of vice to glow with added temptation, und Whereas, Agonts of this body di rected by their political musters und United States Senator, State and Treasurer .and for Mayor Fully Under Way. confreres have In the pusl resorted to studied methods of embarrassment de signedly calculated to "try the pati ence of .lob," methods that could not fall to arouse the resentment of all red-blooded m6n; and lmmedlutclyir few Etrong adjectives were used in resentment they were seized upon and given wide publicity us hud been de signed, showing again that the solo purpose of this Eo-cnlled bureau, Its musters and owners Is to vllllfy, ma lign, und Injuro Democratic olllclals only, now, therefore, be It Resolved, by the members of tho Hoard of County Commissioners of Cook County, That it resents tho In truslcn ol tho employes of this bureau during the consideration of the annual budget and that it directs that till of liners, agents and employes of the said Chlcugo Hureau of I'ubllc Kfllclency be excluded from all future meetings. I'ic3ldent Macaroni has an uwful nerve to expose the hundreds of em ployes In tho Court House, not to HpL-uk of Judges, Juries and the lax paying public to the possibility ot sinullpox and other epidemic sickness which might be brought here by disease-laden tramps from other cities. This laddlst has over-reached him self by recommending the Court House as a hobo's roost. While .Macaroni can find lunds und sympnthy for out-of-town tramps, he is unxloiis to "reduce the forl'o" In the Court House olllces; throw men with families out of jobs and reduce the pay of those who remain except thut of his own pots. , Kemember your elllclent alderman when your private mull box Is tilled with circulars of dentists, loan sharks and old clothes men. The nlderman alone Is responsible. Ho values the votes of the dentist, the shark und the clothes man more than ho docs yours. If he didn't he would Imituto New York nnd other civilized communities and puss an-ordinance forbidding the mis use of private mall boxes under heavy penalty. ' Dunk is already being handed out by aldermen running for re-election. Down every man who voted for tho Phone Trust. This is the time- to look our alder man in the face und examine the length of his ears. Vote against evory nldurniuu who vlted for the high Phono Trust rates. Tho County President bus now tin ueil ihe Court House over to Hoard and lodging. The Phono Trust will make a IiIk fisbt to re-elect Weeping Hlcheit from the Fourth Ward We have reeolved considerable liter ntiiro ubout an alleged Puiiuma Kx poelllau to be held In Sun Francisco, with n request to publish It, "'o have thrown it Into the wusto basket, Wo aro not working for the PncWc rail rouds, their high rates of tare unci their poor service, Wo cortululy nrt nut luterrslrd In Sun Francisco, which is tlu biggest tnllure In thu city Hue About Men in the Doing for the world has ever seen. It tried to get a reputation for being the tough est city In the world and lost out on that. It tried, or said It tried, to be the bjnessjMnportumof Jhe, J&iclAc-. Coast, and, l.os Angeles, Portland, Scuttle, Vancouver and Sitka passed It as If it was tied up. It Is the home of wind, brnzunncss. distress ami hemtlossness. It Is thu haven of ev ery tough mug who goes West. It can have Its exposition und rob every one who goes to It for all we care. Its newspapers aro owned by two men, and we pity these men. Hut so fur as 'Frisco and Its Fair are concerned, Highly Respected Banker like the rest of Amoiicuu people, we uru tired of both, Uncle Sam wants telephone competi tion. Chicago nldormon do not want It. Your ulderiuun will need your vote three months fioin now. Souk him good for thut Phono Trust vote, We have missed our weokly doso'of Frank Commerford and Kd. Mnhur and the other great lawyers and doc- tor this week. Hope nothing lias happened to the Press Club Scoop or Smiling Will Katon, Its handsome nnd accomplished editor. P.8. The Scoop has arrived nnd Frank Is still tnlklng. Hlue SunduyB and blue week days will follow tocul option In Chicago. If a lot of husky Democratic women from Democratic wards would go Into the County Hoard lobby when some of the strong-minded dolls1- from Hyde Park are looking for trouble, ther might be some orphan geese In Henpeckvllle. The Pennsylvania llullnmd Co. must have a Hue appreciation of the Trust Press of Chicago. Thu dallies usk the road to build a forty million dollar West Side depot, and then agree to move to Twelfth street In ten years. Chicago l.nws. will never stand for Uluu President Alncoronl should post signs in the Court House telling the public to scratch everything but matches. Scratch, brothers, scratch with care; Scratch till your hide Is red and rare. Scratch lor Old Mac and his taxeaters' hoard Of free cots for tramps and Finance far Heard. Local Option Is a cowardly subter fuge of the Prohibitionists. Newspaper Trust heroes are very popular In Chicago. Sniveling Suler, Impeached governor, pride of the Newspaper Trust and foe of Tam many, had Hia people In his Chicago lecture audience. .Most of them had press passes, Get ready to make the drys dry up by beating them nt the polls. President Macaroni thinks much of Hoard, but ho has offered tho Court Houee-rocms for'tJhf-trnmps to-slcep In. IT you feel Itchy after visiting the Court House, lumenibcr President .Macaroni and scratch him when he runs fur olllco again. Old Hoy lends Is still working for the city at f.Vi per day. Wo thought this honey was cut off when his high- ANDREW J. GRAHAM, and Citizen Who Has Dene Wonderful priced report raised phono rates. Now ho Is "Sitting thu high cost." A sift means u lift usually. Judgu Uhllr bunded a hot one to the United Charities on Mondny that was appi eclated by the public. If Republican roughuguttes continue to hiss and Insult public olllclals ut tholr county board neetlugs an erup tion of Democratic roughuguttes might tnko a hand and carry the war Into ! Africa. kkmlkKw $N kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkHt kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkB kHVkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkVb JkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkHE- JERKED TO Macaroni and Traeger, the Highly Paid Pay Roll Patriots, Put in Office Against Their Will. Water. Meter Graft, Telephone Graft and the Latest Efforts of the Trusts to Get the People's Money. Water Meters in Every House and the Sale of Chicagoans to the Phone Trust Are Facts Not to Be Forgotten. The People Can Remedy These Things by Electing Men Who Work for Them and Not for Their Common Enemies. The Chicago public Iuib a great deal to answer for Here are the names of two men who have been ruthlessly torn rrom the pursuit of happiness In private llfo to slave for the heartless public ut high salaries: Ah, Ah .Macaroni nnd Appetite .lohu Trneger. Pity these poor men nnd get them out of their Jobs as soon as you can. They suffer too much for an un grateful people. Filling up the Chicago Court House every night with bumsi is a good way to uttrnck tramps from all over the Work for the West Side. country and crowd tho city with un employed men. Macaroni bus u great head. President Macaroni is great on bunk. He Introduced u resolution which passed the County Hoard do iioiiucliig tho condition of nffnlrs in Mexico. When the Trust Press storts roast ing an olllclnl watch its course uml see it laud on the spoils. That Is the way It broke Into tho Phono Tiust, tho traction deals, the I. combination and others. Now It wants to break Into the collection of taxes and the administra tion of the government. No wonder the peopio are tiled of it und that the most widely circulated dally paper Is only read by .'Kiu.uim of tile S.SSn.ouu peopio in Chicago. Some of the worst aldermaulc enemies of Hie people pusu as re formers. And there are otheis who don't pore, but get there Just thu same. Plume Tiust Aldermen are trying to cut down the valuation of the Auto matic as low us they can so as to make (ho pi Ice easy for tho boss when Phone .Monopoly Is made permanent. President Mncuronl evidently be lloes In cutting the salaries of every body hut his friends. .Macaroni's at tempt to Increase tho salaries of Hub ert K. Ken) on, superintendent of pub lic service, from $.1,(1011 to il,O00; Wil liam O. Chapman, warden of tho Coun ty Hospital, IS.fiOO to $.-1,111)0, and Joseph .Meyer, county agent, from $11, COD to $.-,il(lil, was defeated by thu County Hoard. Judging from newspaper reports, there wero a number of unemployed women In tho lobby nt the County Hoard meeting .Monday. What kind of homes do some of these keep, any how? President Macaroni Is a wise chap. He knew that with Hoard on his staff he would not huo much tumble In turning the Court House Into a lodging house. While the order of the Stuto Utili ties Commission in tho Oregon Homo Telephone case ordering an Inter change ot culls is in principle the mr.ht tar-ruaching decision ever ren dered In the hlstor) of the telephone hiiblnoss In tho United Status, the en ioicemunt of the older will be chal lenged by i the Hell Phono Trust Just ns soon us the necessary legal papers can bo prepared. Under thu guise of local option the dr)s want to make a Puritan village out of Chlcugo. The gull of Piesldeut Macaroni ap pealing to thu taxpu)urs to sustain his actions on thu County Hoard uml thu turning of the Court House Into a trump lodging house Is astounding. An effort has been made to Induce Appetite John, tho City Comptroller, to pay Decuiuher salaries beforn Christmas this year. Ho ought to do It. Former United States Senator I.orl mer Is on his wny to Kurope, coinblu lug thu tiip with business mid recrea tion, Friends of Mr. I.oiimer, discuss ing his trip abroad today, said tills is tho first vacation ho has taken In years. During his contest In the Sen ate, when ho was combating tho efforts to unseat-him, Mr. I.orlmer worked day and night, nnd slnco thu suuatu fight, with thu exception of the tlmu hu was 111 In tho hospital, ho has been nt work dally In his hank. JOBS Close political friends say ho has gone for u lest preparatory to begin ning his light for election by the peo ple to the senate. Although .Mr. I.orl mer has not announced formally his candidacy in the senatorial primary next year, his friends say he Is plan ning to open the tight soon ufter the New Year. President Macaroni of the County Ilonrd was censured In a resolution passed by that body for his attack on Judges Kerston, Scniiliiu und Gibbons, What strange Influence does thu phone trust use with most or the alder men? Ileie Is thu record of Illinois Con gressmen in the lute special session In the matter of attendance: The Senate was In session 'J.ii days, during which tlmu there were 110 roll culls. The House wus In session 1'TI du)s, the roll being called IL'2 times. The number of roll calls on which Illinois members fulled to answer to their names follows: Senate. Sherman i::i Lewis 'J I Dlst. House. 1 Madden , 52 2 Maun .)-, S :t Gorman , 12 -i AlcDormntt 1." .' Sabntli k 12 il McAudrews Ill 7 Huchannn IT S Gallagher II fi Hiitten :ii! Hi Thomson ill 1 1 Coplo) , 55 12 lllnobaugh 52 lit MoKeiule 13 M Tran venor , :s 15 Hoxworth ' HI 111 Stone ii 17 Flty-Ileniy 25 IS Oiiulr : in III Hoichrrs Ill 20 Itnliio) ol 21 Graham f its 22 Halts! 21 211 Foster IS LM Fowler 15 2.-1 Hill II Williams (at large) II Stringer (at largo) 2:1 While they aie llttlug up a floor for tho unemployed, don't forget Appetite John. He has a Job now, hut he wants another olllce In that Com t House, or his name Isn't Tiueger. Piesidont Macaroni tied up the county woik good and last The high salaried olllclals of the charities hunk are working this .Mncur onl unemployed racket for nil II Is woith. "Send In your checks," A. A. Macaroni, A, A. Spraguo II, A. Hoard III and tho public fourth, Is u good combination to remember President Mncnronl has cheered thu hearts of tramps In Indianapolis and other cities by offering them u freu roosting place In Chicago's Court House Heal every Phono Trust alderman.