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Psbllahod every Saturday hv John M ltche'l.
?Jr.. at Bll Nortb Fourth h-treet. ^m"m~m - i ????????? JOHNMITQHELIhJR., editok. An rco mvnici" frns mtenfletl ror puMl -atto should b? eent so aa to reaoh us by Wednesdsy. ' TXBM8 IN ADYANCX. ? SBw* Copy, one year.-.41 .So XBa* Copy.elghi months....._ 1.0B ?9a* Copy, alx months.?._. AS Oie ?opy, fonr months.- AS faeCopy. three months,.4S PBagde Copy_.^. .at ADVKRTIS1NO RATE8. Bafww lnch.one lnsertlon_._...?_._I M Flroef lnch each snbsequent lnsertlon... Bfi Bwtwe iBches, three months...~~-~ SOS IFwr twolnanes, alx months. 1000 t**r two lnehes, nine months. 14 06 t**r two Inchea. tw?lve moath*. B0O0 afariiage and funeral notloea,. 60 atanding aad trauBientn >tlces per llne..... 10 tfOSTAGE 8TAMPS OF A T n-NOMINATION aQGBER THAN TWO CENTS <?OT RKCF?yBD 3BT aUBSCaUPTIOKS. m ttjbPlabbt ls lssued weekly. Thesubscrip ?ton prta> ia *1.50 a year. In advance. There are focb wats by whieh money ean be jsaatt by mail atour rlak?1b a Post OfBoe Money twtier , by Bauk Cheok or Draft, or an Kxpreas SXooay Order, and when none of these can be awoonred, 1b a Registered Letter. afOBsr Obdsbs.?Yon oan tmy a Moaey Order BByour Poat-Offlce, payable at the Riehmond IPast-Omoe. aadwe will be responslble for its eBBB? arrival. Bxpress Money Ordars oan be ob <a\ioed at any ofBce of the American Expreaa Co. *k* . i;lted Statee Kxpreas Co.. and the Wella. *y*l - ?nd Co.'s Kxpreas Company. We will be easvob-lble for money aentby any of these oom gBPle- The Expreaa Money Order lsaaafeaad SBanvenrent way for forwaralng moaey. kitimd Lbttbb.?If a Money Order Post loe or an Kxpreas Offlce ia not wlthrn your lekmr Postmaster will reglater the letter BJSaa wiah to send bs on payment of ten cents. xken. if the letter is lost or stolcn, it o.ri ba Bvaeed. Yob can aend money ln thia mannerat mr rlak. W*?>?anot be responslble for money aent ia ln any other way than one of the fonr ?BBw* .lentlonod above. If you send your mon *BF ? *?y o'"_-r way, you must do it at you: wm rtak. ?*) > ?.?./*>.?. etc.?Ifyondo not want the Pi.ah ' aoattancd tor another year after your aob BBSaiSllop has run out, yoa then notify us by ansaraai Card to dlaeonUnue lt. Tatecourtehav 21d*d that subseribers to newspapera who d< korderthelrpaperdlacontlnuedat theexpir <Sa of time for whieh it hae been paid are 4 Uable tor the payment of the subeciiptior JB> W> Batei when they order the paper dlacc COMBttJKlCATION :?When wrlting to a. ?? rsnew your subacription or to dlacontlnut ?ar paper, yoo should glve your name and * wtL fall, oUaerwlae wecannot flnd you asae aa oar boeka. CBAK8i?r Addbxs*:?In order to ehange ' addreae oi' a sibacrlbrr we mnatbe BBWSBbS - as well a* the present address. ??> IBBaBBBBl la thaPoat Offlce at Riohmoud, Va. i ?eoad aiaastsatter. SATURDAY, JAN. 13, 1900 All white men sre r.ot our enemies, b muat prsy toOr d for our oppres* He knows wbat to do with thsm. Colobbd men, the law gusranteea asertaia rights snd the Negro-hatera <*efy the law. ?Good behaviour will halp ua wonder aVally. We muat put down tbe lawleta aslements in our midat. aVx ill-msnnered eoiorad peraon ia just aa bad as an ill-mannered white gaaraon. L.srr ua mske friend a with as many -white people aa we aan, eolored men. "Tha time ia now at hand that we need rtfaeir friendship : yes, we need it bad tjr. _ ? colobbd man atande no more aure Sm a eontroveray with a white man in ?the oriminal cor-rta of thia common wrealth than doea a "bob-tailed mule an ?y time." Wi should be polite and obliging.Our ?aondust towards white men should ba ?a gentlemanly aa that towards color? ed anea &ACB prejutiise alwaya cost aome BtuBg, but in thia case it is propesed to transfer the expenae to the ahouldera of the railroad eompaniea. They na -turally object. Hob. Joun E. Eppb aeeme to think that ha waa aent to the legialatore from Ri?hmcnd to represent only the white people. If thia ba txua, fair-alaj would dietata that at leaat one of the zrenreeentatives thculd be of the color easl perauaaion. TffB ahould like to kcow whether bHod. John E Eppb has ever thought of ?that oath of efflce sinee he took it, snd wra ahould like to propound to Hon. B. *. P. Patterson the asme queatioo. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? All of oar dally Journals sre playing ?>? tha politieal harp. snd the tuna iat -JKeep the Negro down!" He ia "go ing to*' get ap brathren, he ia ' going ?o get up" aa aure as yeu are born. It ia ' eonioling to know that .tha white folka grare-yarda are fllling up. Tha msmLora of the legislatara will all asave places - on tha hill-side. It'a a aglorioua thought, brathren when wa Biatan to the rantinga of tha Negro aBB>ten agsiast us Taaa lyna&ing of eolored men haa led ?*? ths lycehmg of white ones. The ?ad of the iaf amy aannot be far off. wKewpert Naw s by thia exhiMtioa of ?BTtgery whieh took away th? life of tha whi.* msB. W. W. Watt- Friday raas. Iti, 1930, daalt itaeif a ar more levdooia hlaw thaa it did the '.aotim. Maa troettea aa far ef this world it eotiperned are ended, these of the eiiy have ju?? begun. It ia true that Watts ai< *harged with a heinoua erime, but the 1?wb of Virginia proride death for even th? att-nipt to cornmit it. It ia Btrange indeed that governm* t in thia eoontry ah uld he eonatant y proring itaelf a failure and aworn obligatione eaat atide. The ljnehera of Watt* are guilty of murder, ? erime as heinoua aa the ene with whieh he at^od oharged. U d?r tha law. they hare tnerited death and it ii a r.fl etion uaon our lpgel irati tu o ia that the offiocre eatruated wi'h the eoforeement or the atatutes ahould qutil b-fore the lawleta and deeliae to dothair full dutr- Lyneh-law mutt go! A PLBA. TOR 8BPAEATI0F. The Riehmond, Va., Divpatoh in its iaaoe of the 9th inat., proe8eda to dia eaia "Sepsrate Ctrs." It aays: 'The plea ia made that a aeparate oar law would be humilisting to the Negroee. They aay it would be, and they ought to know their own feel in*?." The abore ia a eoneeaaion whieh ia thrown aa a "aop to the whale." It continuee: "But why would they be any more humiliated in bninc eomp^lled to go to themaelvea tban the whitea would betogoto tbemielre* ? Aa we riew the matter, the real humiliation eon sista in their being williog and anx ioua to go whorr- they naust know they are not wanted." The -bore ia a fair queation and is entitled to a fair anawer, They are no more humiliated tban white men would feel under aimilar eondition. Pas8 a law debarrinc a eertain elaae of white men from entering Pullman Pslaee tJars, simply beeauee they ooald not traee a lineage to the "rero luticnary fathera" and this elaaa of white men would feel aa mueh humil? iated aa doea the Negro of to-day. When you plaee a rrquiremsnt whieh ia baaed upon an alleged ioferi ority on the part of the peraona di? crimlnated against, you then humiii ate them and awaken a apirit of an tagonitiu whieh inereaaea aa the ob jeetionable featuras of the require ment are enforeed. You will see therefore tl.at the Ne groea are no more humiliated than the whitea would be under aimilar eondi tioni. The Dibpatoh eontinuea: "They muat know the whitea do not wjrjt them :n the aame railroad ear with them. yet deapite thia knowl fdgo thf Negroea will inaiat upon go? ing there." Thia ia the enuooiation of a very dangeroua dootrine, that the wtshea of only one elaaa cf the body politie are to be eonsulted without any regaxd for the wiahea of the other elaaa. The majority can foroe upon the minority any kind of oppresaire legia lation or pcliey without any regard for the inherent righta of the minority orthe eommanda of the eonatitution, whieh is the eompsaa of the gorern? ment itaelf. The rieh hare the right to diaerimi nste against the poor and the truata againat the people. It aacrlflsea the bed-roek prineiplee of the Deolaration of Independenee and ia a miid expreaaion of the dirine right of kinga, the eupremsey of the ariatoeraay orer the de&rees of the people. By this deelaration, the inherent righta of the iumbleat eitizen are ssc riUoed upon the altar of prejudioe. The argumsnt ia ao absurd aa to al most proroke ridieule. It is a deela? ration that our demooratie form of gorernment ia a failure. The Dibpatoh aay8: "If there were any queation asto the olaaa of aeeommodationa afforded them, the matter would aaaume adif fereot aapeet, but in all lawa provid ing for aeparate eara for whitea and blaeka proriaion invariably ia made rorbiding discriaination in the quali tj of aerriee." It ia a promiae "made to the ear and broken to the hope." There ia not a atate ia the union whieh haa prorided aeparate cara for the eitizena of eolor bat what the aerriee is inferior on the aide of the blaeka and auperier on the aide of the whitea. It aays: "Again, it is aaid that in the inter eita ot edooation we ought to be will ing to allow the preaent eondition of things to eontinue, ao thst the blaek man may proflt by observino the hab ita and demeanor of the white man The snawer to that ia, that we hare been doing that rery thing for thirty odd years and we cannot aee where it haa been prodnetive of muoh good." Trulj haa it been aaid 'that there are none bo blind aa those who will notase." Thst the eitiz ?n of eolor haa im prqred is sustained by testimony and atatiBtica. We riolate no eonfidenee when we aay that the example aet for ui haa in rnany easea been anything bat ereditable. W. W. Watts at Newport Newa, Va., aet an exsmple whieh ia in keeping with aimilar aetions on the part of white men etsewhere. We preaume you know that he was eharged with eriminal aesaalt upon a white woman. We preaume you remember the eaae of Tom Pbns. who eommitted a aimilar erime upon Liba Havxa (eol? ored) at Danrillo, Va., sereral yeara Bff>. It eontinuea: "In the Judgment of moat of the whitea the eolored peopie's morala asd inaabars are not iraproring." Is thia. they are miataksa. It Is trua that ws hare a largs number of booriah, ill-behared people, who were "brought sp in the eornfleld" so to speak without the ieflaenee of good trsining bat they do nst embraes the iaielligent, sabstantial elansent whit h ?s now protesting sgaisst the diserimi nationB on the railroads. It ahould not b-? forgotten too that the masses of our people do not travel upon the railr >ad% snd the lsboricg elementa to whieh you refer, invariably gra>i 'at* to the smokmg or seconu-clsss Oar. Itsaja ?*8o fsr from it, great number* of them show posiiive deteriorstion sb eompared with the <*ondition of their raee in th* days of alavery." We do not belirve th'a f? ^e trus, expresaive as it is of sn opicion of one intereutW opposed to the intereats of the raee. During slavery, we owned aothing not evea ourselvea. Now, our weaith ia eatimated at 'our hundred million dollsra, with our theol >gisns. physi oiane, aeiantiata, atsteamen.resl eatate agenta, authora editora, bsnkers, law yerv, snd members of the ra-e in all of the voeatiosB of iire. A man who eaanot see progreaa is in lina with the man who will not aee it. Iteontinuea: "It a*enaa that the maa??s of them are not proBiing by the oppirtunittes and sdvantages put beforj them, and we believe the time is rapidiy ap proaohing when every Southern Statp must eonsider very aerioualy, inde-d. whethtr the monev exp?nded in Ne gro sducation is wiaely sp ?nt or not." H iw esn the maasea prosper 7 You give their ehildreo about three or four months' edueation and from eight to nine montha' opp^rtunitiea to "un leer ." all that they have learned. You reduee them to the level of serfs, rob them of their erops, aud withhold from them their money. You oppreaathom with oneroua lawa and inflict upon them vexatioua burdena. To aa/ thst the money devoted to edueation hss nr>t been wiaely spent ia to say thst edueation and not the Ne &rro is a failura. How else oould he have made the progreaa eited ? Whenes osme the "genteel Negro." if not through the eivUiring influpneea of edueation and the beneflsent effaota of a Ohriatisn training ? The Dispatoh saya: "We know of bnt one thing whieh ean turn the tide of publio opinion now setting in. and thst ia for tbe Ne gront to abow more appreeistlon of their reaponaibilitiea ss citisena." Thst ia jaat what they ara doing. It is the low. thi vieioua tha preju diced, who are ealling for oppreasive legialstion sgaioat him. tl eontinuea: "Gandor compsla ua to admit thst tha whites of tha rtouth hsve not as much patienee with the Negroea ss they uaed to have. The reason ia piain to aee. The two rsees are no longer brooght together aa formerly. It tskes a vast stoek of patienee to oflset the red-hot icdignation wbish ariaes and cpreads over the whole land when ever sn aaaault ia made upon one of our women. Then, too many Negro tervania?femaie aervants, eBpreisliy? lesd nomadic ltves. They are here to dsy snd gone tomorrow. Thia ia ar evil whieh is not leaaening, but in eressing. 80, ss a rulf, atrung sttach menrs caann be formed between mas ter or mistresa and aervant. Io moat houaeholda tbere ia a never endmg proeeaaioo of s-ivauta?aome gomg, othera somiog " The above needa no anawer It ia a eonfepsion of weakness on the nsrtor this j >urnal. It eonoludea: "In heaitating so iong about order ing sepsrste csrs?"Jim urow oars," they are popuiarly oalled?our patienee has endured longer than that of most of our aouthem brethren. Down youth the separate ear law ia the rule, and not the exeeption, snd it hss not been found to work in jury, either to the blaeka or to tbe raiiroad eompa niea. Ususlly, the rsilrosd eompsny partitiona off each ear and assignB oae eompariment to tbe whites and one to thr blaeka and there'a an er?d of it. "Is tbere any resson to Buppoae thst a system whioh haa worked ao well in other Statea will not work well in Vir Kinis? We think not." The eonditiona exiating in Virginia do not esll for any aueh reatrietive meaaurea. The diaeriminatiens msde in the South on tbe railrosds is ridiea lous and ia a disgraee to the ststea permitting it. It ereatea frietion, rather than avoid it, and eauaes eolored men to regard with auapioion any profeaaiona of gen uine friendahip on the part of the white brother. The humble elementa of the white raee eannot afford to diseriminste againattha humble elementa of the eolored raoe. Let ua have no 'Jim Orow Car" law in Virginia. Cntmr fk? Iaiaeaaa Mr. Bender?Marcha, I shaw some? thlng th-that made m-m-my halr sthand np stralght, Mrs. B**ider?Well, that shows yaur hslr is better on* than yon ara. It can ctand up atralght.?Chlcage Dally News Thea Stlewo* Reijraod. **I aee beef lf flrm,** remarked tha landlady, looking up from the morn? ing paper. "Very flrm, indeedl" grunted the thln boerder, continulng his efforta to dismember the Rteak.?N. Y. JournaL iiatefui Tataar. "There are very few woman oratora, aren't there?" "Why, I don*t know. I had the im pression that the great majority of women were great talkers."?Philadel phia Bulletin. Afrald to Take Okaaeta. **Tf you think he wants to marry yon for your money why don't you tell him that your father haa failed and that you are consequently pennlless?" "I'm afraid I'd lose him-**?Chicago Post. atoward of Bferlt. Banroad Preeidentr?That waa a bad amoadaat, bnt U might have been a vhiHBBBnd tlmes worsc. Suppose thos* eara had taken Aral Ph*wl Whj didat thayl 8anerintendent?A laxy ttrakamam a-adWcihenresgaout. lNesldent-Raise his .wJat>w?*T. T. Waeklw._ SHE OUTRANKED GRANT. How "Aant Beeky" Stole a Harch oa? Her (oniniandlng Ofllee r. "Aunt Becky" Young ia really not "Aunt Becky" at all; young sfce will always be, althoogh she is now 68 years old. This is the way she tella of the ac quiaitiou of the name by whieh she ia known to many survivors of the war: "Tbr boya began by calling me 'mo ther,' " she aaya, "and I wouldn't allow that. So one of the doctora in tbe hos "Jltal ssJd: Tll glve you a name that you'll k<ep to your laat day,' and he christenod me 'Aunt Becky.' That'a what everybody calls me now. Why, I could n't get my'lttera if they ahould comeaodressed to 'Mrs. Sarah Young.' ? Aunt Becky followed the Army of the Potomac on ita line of mnrch, nuraing -AUNT BECKT OTJTRANXS ME." the ferered r.nd sick patient?. In her laat year she dresscd amputationa tn* tirely. "I took care of one rebel," she saya, "without any arms or legs." i The battlefielda of Fredericksburg, Bpottsylvanlo, Cold Harbor, Chancel lorrilla and Petcraburg all saw Aunt Becky mlnistering to their sufferers. It is with the latter plaee that one of her most interesting experiences ia oonnected. "We had a Iot of men," so she re counta the tale, "who were very aick aaid I knew they'd die If they couldn't be tak?n to Waahington. But we could not get exchanges for them. So I went up to tha quartermast-ar'a ofllee to mnke a call, and thera were a lot of ticketa of exchange lylng on the deak, I shor-ed aome off with my elbow, and whext I got baek I found that I had captured 14 of them. Without sajing a word* to anybody I pinned thera on the worat caaea. and when the siok from the other dirlsion were balztx oarried down to tha boata, I had one mirse carry theae men down to meet them, and they were aafely packed off. "Well, the next morning the doctor came around. ?"Where'a Brother Jouathan?' eaid he, asking for one of the patienta. " 'Gone to Washington,* the nurse told him. " 'By whose orders?* he asked. " 'Aunt BeckyV they said. "Then he came right dbwn to me, and he waa furious. 44 Tll diacharge you at once,' ha threatened. Td like to know on whose responaiblllty you aent those men off.' " "On my own,1 I said, rery quietly. They'd have died if they at&yed here." "So he wen/t stralght to Qen. Orant to oomplain of me, and he told how I had stoles the ticketa for them and all. "Gen. Grant laughed and aaid: Tve got nothing to aay. Aunt Becky out ranks me!' i "I didn't get d'ouharged, you m*>y guess,'' laughed Aunt Becky, aa ahe told thia tale. "And liBten," she called, "those men who went to Waahington all got well."?Philadelphla Preas. He Saw tha Battle. One of the former offlcera of the Alabama ls a reaident of Eaat Orang?e. He narrowly misaed being present at the battle between the Eearsarge and Alabama. He waa in London when he received word that the Eearsarge peo? ple knew that the Alabama waa bound for a French port. He went to Paris and made hia way to Cherbourg, ex pecting- to Join hia ship in time for the battle. He auppoaed that he waa nnknown, but lt turned out that he waa known, and was followcd from the minute he entered Frafice until the moment when muffled in citlzen'a elothing, he atepped into a rowboat and asked the man to row him to the Alabama. At that moment a French offlcer tapped him ou the ahoulder and said: "Pardon, *nonsieur, the Lieut. Uillmore, of the A.'abama, but you are my prisoner. France haa not recog nized the c-onfederacy and h?a warned your ahlp away. She will be attacked to-morrow by monaieur theCapt. Wins low, of the Eearsarge, and you may hare an opportunity of observing the battle from the tower of yonderprison, to whieh it is my duty to escourtyou." The aext day Lieut. Gillmore did see the battle from the prison tower.? Newark Ledger. Confederate Lonei. Pickett'a divisinn of confederatea lost at Gettysburg more men in 20 minutes tban the Brltish hare lost_ killed, wonnded aad captured ? in Bouth Afriea ainee the war began. ! Heth'a dirision of Lec'? army at Get tyaburg lost 2,700 men ln killed and wounded in 25 minutes. ? Chictg-o Chrontcle. I Aa Old Tale RertreS. 6*lt nsed la sweeplng carpets keeps rat the motha atava of Ona'a Xelarhbor. JCaa Qaylord?I htar there are to be ssraral noreltiea at Kiss Catekem's weddlng. S^AJtalr-One rery pratty and fBasrtHaaJ one would be te take np r sfc^wtlam for tha brMegrootro-JB BOLD 6IRL SHEEIFP. L tah Woman Who Has Preved a Terror to Crimlnals. Bbe Haa Had Some Adveatnrcs Wklck Woald Rit? Te*ted tbe Ifervea Ot tbe Bravrat Maa-Kxpert Serelver Sb.t. No occupation, however daring, daunts the wdmau of the west. Even ln days when woman ia invading aimoat every tield whieh man has so long ap propriated, it comea aa a shock and a surprise to learn that there ia at least one woman, young, beautiful and re fiued, whoseduty it ls to execute acrim inal at a moment's notice, to arrest the most recklea* desperado aad to spend much of her time in conveying lunatica. single-handed, to asylums. The story of this girl's life reads more like a chap ter of daring romance than a page of sober fsct and experience. MIbb Claire Helena Ferguson, who rigbtly claims to be the most daring woman ln the world, waa brought up ln a home cf refinement. Her mother is a practicing pbysician of repute, and it waa while assisting her mother in the operating room that Miss Ferguson acquired the nerve whieh now staeds her ln such good stead. Two years sgo, when she was barely 21, Miss Ferguson, wbo seems to have been born with a craving for risk and ndventure, spplied for and obtained the post of asaiatant to the sheriff of Salt Lake City. When Sheriff Lewis handed her hei ' commlssioc he told her thst it might ba her duty at any time to execute a crim inai, and that she had better start re volv*r practice at once. It is tbe custom in Otah to allow a condemned man to choose whether he will die by the hangman'a rope or the bullet; and if he electa to be shot he ls led out to a lonely place among the hills snd a piecV of white paper is pinned over his heart as a target for the bullet. Miss Ferguson, nothing tiaunt ed by such a terrible prospect, immedi , TT TOU BfAKE ANOTrFER MOVE IXL. 8HOOT." ately began to practice with her re vdlver, and sooa became so proflcient that she could rely on hittlng a small plece of paper, nine times out of ten, at a dlstsnce of ten yarda. Happily, how? ever, she ha? not yet been called upon to execute this part of her art. One of ber earliest adventures was such ss would have tested the nerve snd coursge of the bravest man. She was ieft for a time ln charge of one of the most daring burglars In Utah, a hand some, unprincipled scoundreL, who had already aerved five terxns of lmprison ment and who goes by the nsme of ? "Bandsome Qray." The man was band cuffed, but contrived to pick the lock of his handcuffa with the help of a piec* of wire. Miss Ferguson only detected what he was doing when the hsndcuff* fell en the floor and the burglar waa in the act of springlng on her. With the rapidity of lightning she seized her revolver, and, coverlng him with it, said: MIf you take snother step I'll shoot." The man quailed before the polnted revolver and the deterniined look of his pretty jailer, a.nd thua the | strangeiy matched pair atood, facing each other for eome momenta, until. provldentially, hia captor, a man of | great strength and courage, entered the . room and secured him from behind. Miss Ferguson during her two years j of offlce haa conveyed no fewer than 106 lunatics, many of them homicidal, to | the ssylum. As the asylum is fiO miles from Salt Lake City, a two houra* ride, I and as Misa Ferguson always accom panies them alone, the terrible atrain on her nervea may be imaglned. On more than one occasion she haa been vlolently attacked by her wards, many of them much bigger and strong er than herseif, and she haa had many narrow escapes from loaing her life. With one dangerous lunatic she had a life-and-death struggle foran liour, and when flnally the brave girl succeeded in mastering the lunatic she had to hold herhands, bleeding and fainting though she waa, for the remainder of the Jour ney. | It ls some tribute to the remarkable courage of thia young girl that ahe was Invited by the most desperate gang of cattle thieves and higbwaymen j in Utah to visit them in their fastness, known as "Robbers* Roost," and aa a souvenir they promised her the "finest horse on the range." Miss Ferguson did aot accept tffia strange, if com plimentary, invitation, but there ia little doubt that she would have been most hospitably and gallantly treated. j Miss Ferguson haa none of the phya ical equipment one would associate with a life of such risk and hardship. She is very slight and girliah. with no suggestion of jither strength or en durance, and her face is ss reflned as It b beautiful. It is not surprising to lesrn that during the last two yesrs she has had no fewer than 15 offera of marriage, her lovera ranging from a Dakota cowbjgx_ taaChlcagp lawyer. Mot aa IwcBwdlarr. "Mr. 81ocum," said little Totnmy to Sister Mary's young man, **you never play with matches, dc you?" "What makes you aek that funny Bjuestion, Tommy?** "Nothin*. only pa says he guesses you won't ever set the river on flre.**--N. Y. World. Had f U? at FlraB tlarbt. *T underatand it was a case of love at nrst sight," he aaid. **It wasv" rtplied the dtearest friend of the woman in question. "It had to be. If he had looked a aecond time he stever could1 have fallen ln love with her."?Chioago Foafc. VERY CLOSE SHAVE. A Burglary Story Whieh Is Qolte Out of the Ordiuary. Oramnaer Carrlea a GolS Watch aa the Soareair of ma ucriaioa That Came Near Vndlng Him to tbe Pealtentlaxjr. **Thia watch was part of the spoils of a burglary in whieh I participated in 1881," aaid a guest in the SU Charlea lobby to a New Orleans Times-Denio crat reporter, drawing out a handsome gold timepiece with a curioua spiral pattern engraved in heavy relief on the lid. "It waa my firat affair of the kind, and I regret to say 1 bungled it and got caught almostimmediately. What ia the joke, did you aak? There is no joke; it ia perfectly true. It happened like this: ln the fall of'81, when 1 waa quite young and green, I got a job trae eling for a Chieago grocery houae, and one of the first placea I visited waa a amall town in northern Ohio. I arrived about 11 at night, and went out to take a stroll and smoke a cigar before going to bed. Passing through a side street, I noticed a light in the little Jewelry atore, and also tbat the door was ajar. That reminded me I had recently brok cn the mainsprlng of my watch, and I aauntered in to leave it for rcptirs. Aa I entered a young man arose from the further e"d of the counter. He seemed startled, ..'hich was not unnaturaL at such a late call, but he regained his cemposure while I explained the pur pose of my visit, and told me he had closed some houra before, but happened to rexaember some thinga that had been left out of the- aafe, and returned to put them baek. When I handed him my watch I asked him to give me an? other to wear in the meantime, and he gave me one at random from a tray on the counter. This is it oa my chain now. "Next mornlng,"continued the s*ory teller,"T waa lounglng in the hotel of *LET ME SEE TOUR WATCH. flce, when the town marahal tapped me on the shoulder. -** 'Let me see your watch,' he said. "I pulled lt out mechanically, and waa at once placed under arrest on the charge of robbing the Jewelry atore. I It aeemed that lt had been burglarized during the night, and somebody in the hotel had noticed my peculhtr-looking watch and reported lt to the police. It waa promptly identifled aa part of the stolcn gooda, and, needlesa to aay, my atory of its acquisltion waa laughed to acorn. I was obloged to admit that it aeemed a little gauzy myself, and I can't aay 1 blame the authorities for de clining to give it credence. At any rate, I found myself in the deuce of a flx. My old watch had been carried off by the thief, and there was absolutely nothing to conflrm my atatement exeept the bare fact that none of the other goods waa found ln my possesaion. That, however, went for very little, for it waa I argued that I had abundant time to conceai my plunder. In my agitatlon and excitement I musthare preaented a perfect picture of guilt, and the towns people came near mobbing me on my wsy to jaii. They kept me there exact ly three houra, the agony of whieh will dwell with me if I live to be a hundred. Meanwhile the sure-enough burglar had been bagged in an adjoining town, with all the loot, lncluding my time? piece, in hia valiae, and when I was tinally releaaed he waa bundled into my eell. If he hadn't been caught 1 don't know what mieht have happened. I don't like to think about it. The au? thorities made groveling apoWUs, and the jeweler was especially abject. To placate me he offered to let me keep the new watch in exchange for my old one, and I accepted the proposition. I carry it aa a sort of tragi-comic souvenir." KCxploaive Keataeky Potatoea. A peculiar explosion occurred the other day at the home of Mrs. R. S. Gar nett at Owenton. She had some pota toes baking in a stove. In the oven was also a roast of beef and other good things. Without warning an explosion occurred, blowlng open the oven door. The roast came tumbllng out of the oren. followed by other eatables. Upon ' inrestigatlon it developed that a mkld eyed Irish tuber had swelled up and let go. A similar accident occurred near Monterey, in whieh a potato exploded in a kettle, throwing hot water on the lady of the houae and seriously aeald ing her. Myaterlona Waya. A correspondent of the Atlanta Cot stitution from Clinch county sent the following the other day: "Brother Jones prayed for rain six daya on a stretch, and when the raia came he was the first man to be drowned ln it. The waya of provideace are past findin* out.** Bwalaeaa Tranaaetloa. "I aee by the papera that old Bulr I1ob*s helreas was married yesterday to that French ^-ount.* ?That ao? Who gare tha brida away?" "Nobody. She was soW. Itwaadis eorered thia morning that he la not a oounf-Omahs World-HeraM. Wo? Reaileaa. "I theught you said thia waa a real latlo novel." "Ian't It?" "Judge for youraelf. It contaias the atateicnent that they were manded and Hred happlly erer af terward."?Chlcaao Paet. rs?~ i. Ai.an?nr *"*asJBjL 1,000 REWARD. # Dr. &t\ea, Marveloxls Medtrur; Otves th* name* of dead snd living trtaodi tell who and whan you will marry, ala* of huslneas Journeys. lawsuiU. absont Crieoda. healtb or anythlng you know, no matter wbat it ls. H* can call up your spiiiB friends and show them to you. Can make them rap a'' aroand the room. He aaks no questions don't aak you to wrtte nnmcn for hira. Don't tryto pump you ln any way, but tella you right oft. He ia thorough.lv en dorsed by leadlna: splrltualists every whsra. recerved from them a gold medal and spee lal license to practice nls wonderful powera: credentialH no on* else can show, ean glve thonsands of referencea to both white and eolored patrons. Twenty-flve yeara pracBte* ?seven in Brooklvn?will show you that h* can do all that be can tell of. Can tell wbat business ls best for you and where, how to wln 8peedy marriage with tho one you krve. How to bo succesefal toalt your doing* ia short wbat ls best to do. H? suceeeds when all othera fall. Posltlve satlsfactlon or no pay. Call and see. You will nnd lt lueky to consult thia Chriatian gentleman. He has a medlclne that will cure drunkenneaa, cad be be glven patlent not knowlng lt. Thoawnda througb him are now SJ RICH, HAPPY AND 8TJCCB88FTJVi. ?> with all their undertaklngs, whlle thoaa whc neglect his advlce are still laboring *rp*~-? poverty. Through his perfect knowledg* of chemlstry, he can impartto vou aaecrot that will overcome your enemles and wln your rrlends. His aid and advlce has of ten been sollclted; the result has alwayr been the ae~ curlng cf speedy aad happy marriage* aad all your wishes. In lovo affalrs he never falls. He has the aecret of. wlnnlnjg^tk-e a?. feotioaa ofjthe opposlte sex. It ls the curse of spirltnaltsm that in all large dties thera are a class of men aad women who elaUa p^wers they do not posseaa Tboy hav* neither alfte. eredentlala nor referencea. Sarely the colored people are not so wanMnar ln sense as to throw their time and money wW.R,T onJtuch Dr Bh'* ">'*,r* to the Hob. william D?nmore, Araaltect and bolHer 49 Cleve'.and Ave., and Anher Sewell, HMn bnilder, Houth Brooklyt. AU baveknowo hlnifor tho past seven year*. He sive* ? free test of hia powerto ad. Th* dooBor haa practiced flve years ln Mew Orleana, 8*. Lon ls, Bfemphls and Loulsvliic; undersSands thoroughly the dlaeaaea, spells or lafluenoe* th e raee ls subject to. He ls now and alwayv had a large patronage frwm them. PLKASS READ THR FOLLO WINOt, Brooklyn. Aug. 15. WS1 ?This Istooerttfy that came to New Yort fr*m Albaay. I waa * stranaar ta a strangeclty, out of work and out of money. I haa no luck ln anySBtnjr ! undertook, wnattcdol did not' friend advlsed me t<? go and seo ? I did. Hetoldme tho cauaeof myi b* t<>ok me ln and troated me utU, ThrouRh him I jrot a vrood posltlon that vary weok. I bad been u> others: they Book nry money and did me no good. I bleas the day 1 firat met l>r. Shea, I would advlse all tn bad luck, Rick or tn trouble to go to him aS once, sy Slncerely, a Albirt Atebs, a?7 Atlanttc Ava" South Plalnfleld, Aug. 1ft. 18S1.?Tknw la to certify that mv husband bad goue away and t>een abaent two yeara. I mouroed furbim nlKht and day. I gave him up as dead. *) Hearingorthe wonderful thlngs Dr. Sb*a was Uolnar, I reaolved BoconauTt him. He told mo my husband waa alive and well and where ho was; told me he would come hoano and when. To my Joy all or lt came true. He ls home now, come baek like one frooi the dead. I aleo wlah to aay toat tbls month I lost the sum of SSO. I am a poor woman and I was most lnsane I went to Dr. Bhea. and he told me 1 would flnd n \ money and to my lntenso Joy I did flnd lt as he told me I thank (1<k1 there la a man ao girted ln our mtdatthat can hetp people and tell them what to do. Slncerely, Mas. Mabt Mixleb, South PlalnSeld,.N. J. A SENSATION IN .BROOKLYN--A BTINIS TRR'S 8TATRMKNT. I wlsh to state that one or my partshoner* was sick and ln trouble ror a Iook time, Mr* Hmwn, 37 Oay Street. No oneaaemad to un derstand her case. She had scveral docBors, but noue ot them seemed to know what waa tho matter. Non* could do berany good IS waa my duty aa her pastor to call and aee her. HearlnKortho wonderful work belna done by Dr. 8hea the laat tew years, 1 tboa?ht I would call and see him myself. I found him a kind ayrupatbeiic Kent.lt-man. He gave me a wouderfnl test of his powers; told me to send him a look of patlent's halr, wtrkeh 1 did by her dauKhter He told at once what was the matter aad ln a short time cured her sound and well. Hor famlly had seomlngly been u..d*r a cloud Now all ls changed. All are wei! and prosueroua. I can truly andtoeartlly reoom mend Dr Hhea to all thoaeln aicknaan or dla treas of any kind, Kev. William Jahnaon Pastor Lebanon Chureh, Brooklyn. aj> Dr. Sheacan show thonaanda sueb ~* m* above. DK. 9HKA has been carefully eduoated ln the Homce pathlc and Rclectic Schools of Medlclne His succesa la wonderful ln eurlng paralyala Kheumatlam. Asthma, Sora Ryaa, Tnmora Can^rs, ConstlpaUon. Ague, Dyapepaia Tape Worms, Llver ComplalnBs, Dearneaa Catarrh, Dropay, Pllea, Nervoua DaMUty Moart Dia^aae. Comsumptlon, Ptsoauro of women and ehlldren, Flta, Kidney Dl^eaaa, and all straag* myateiious dlaeaaea whlch others don't nnderataud. All dlaeaaea, no matter w hat they be. Nothing but honora ble treatment. He oan and wlM honeatly tell you if you can be cured Has all new remediea and new succoaa Haa had ample experience ln public hospitals and private cllnlcs. No trlnlng with htunan life. Call at once. Do not deUty. Dlplomas hang ln parlors. Is a reglstered physician. A new remedj ror RheumatlMm just dlscovered, not a llaa ment. Hope'^-o v aaea und those that others cannot cur* sollclted to call. Fat folks thia the childleaa made parents All letters muat oontaln $1.00, twostampa, age, lock of halr. For conaultatlon, advlce and dlagnoats. Ne posaal cards. Charges for medlcal treatment only. ?Tc^ tlonthla paper. a 861FIJIATON STREET, ? BROOKLYN, N. Y. WONDERFUL ? DISCOVERY Curly Hair Made Straight By TAKBN FBOM UTB. BSrOBB AXD AFTKB TRBATaTEBT. 0Z0NIZED 0X MARB0W THS OBIOIBAX?COPYBIQBTIO. Tkla woadarfo! halr paaiaa* la tka only aafa Strala*Bt aa ahown abowa. It aourtahaa tha aoate. rrow. 8?JdoT?raoyaartAa^aa^Bytha?aa?ala. Warraatad aarmlaaa. Trrffurnislt fraa aai m. oaaat. ItwaathaSrat .r.ur.flc? wwVTaSd fc? rtrfffctanlajkUtkyhaTr. a,wa?To"InittaataaaT OetTha OHiiaai OaaalMS Oi BanwT as tha raanma ar ror falls to kwep lae hafrpUaSla *n* baaoUfat. * toUat necarafty for laafaVaad f*?^*????; *???*B?iy_B?rf??a<L Th. areaa aaV r?a4aa? of UtU wonderful poaaaaa ia tkat by ?? aa* yon caa atralgb'^n yoojr owa katrat aaaaa. 0wi?? to iu ?up*rTor and laatlnr aaaltty r? to tha moat eeoaomleal. Iv U not poaalbl. for aayaody Jo arodaae a praataraUon aonalto Jt. Fall Staae tloar with er?ry bottla. Oaly SaBoaata. BaM by daaiers or aaaa aa S140 Poatai or Bsvraas Boaay Ordar far a boBUaa azpraaa paBS. STnt? yoar aaaaa aad aadraia plalnly to ^^ OZONIZBD OX MARROW CO.. ?* WaUsak Ara,. CtUcage. BB. C