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ThhWeek By Arthur Brisbane I A DR. WORK WHO WORKS. ! BE PATIENT WITH STATIC ! “XMAS” A SACRILEGE. ) CHRISTIANITY A FAILURE? I .. —nit.- tt | Dr. Work, Secretary of the In terior, »ay» of the 1927 outlook? -There is not a tingle distress sign on the whole coonomie heri tor?.” Secretary Work doesn’t sit at his dealt, guessing. He travels oyer the country constantly, studying II opportunities for national improve | ment. He knows conditions, and his opinion is important and en couraging. 1 Should millions of women read . of the death of Sir Oliver Lodge, I Marconi, Millikin and a doten other great scientists the majority would say, “That's too bad,* I be not much interested. ' Every- one of millions will be b» i terested to hear that Jean Phillipe ( Worth, the famous dressmaker, has 1 gone to a land where there is no i sewing. • His house dressed queens and empresses of state and finance, aleo ' young ladies with whom their sons ran around in Paris. His word meant more in real authority to the world’s women than all the deci 1 lions of a thousand high judges. 4 m ' • Re patient with static, when it • interferes with jazz music or prize f fight news coming sweetly over e your radio. Professor Pupin, of Columbia College, says static and ‘•fading,” enemies of radio en thusiasts, really indicate that other planets are trying to talk bo us. They send powerful messages that interfere with our feeble radio, and Vopin thinks we shaM understand . those messages within twenty-five . years. Our age listens indifferently to 4 ihafc news, but no man can exag gerate ito importance. if planets millions of years older than our earth could tell ui= wluu they know, our science might jump ahead as rapidly as a child ad vances in knowledge after it turn learned to taik and read. We light little bonfires, hca steam, and thus obtain power. Mars might teach us to harness the* power of the sun, and transmit en ergy without wires, which would uo away with engines or fue. on fly ing machines, and give us unlhmt: 1 power. It is said that in this c^v ’’v there is more commercial “flying mileage” than in any other. flFor that thanks are due to Pres ident Coolidge and Postmaster General New, who have encour aged air mall routes. But flying; back and forth by mail carriers, most desirable, does not mean building up national aerial defense. And for our commercial flying we depend on private initiative, citisens building planes that will "get by” and enable them to make money aarrying mail. That isn’t a Government programme for pro moting aviation. Clergymen are protesting against the abbreviated "Xmas," which re duces the name of Christ to "X.” The abbreviation is disrespectful to the most beautiful word in his tory. and It is disrespectful to the English language. Anybody who was hi too much of a hurry to write out "Christmas” should not use the word. Wise men in Milwaukee will de rate three days to discussing high Questions, including this, “Can Christianity be of any parctical use in ehanging existing conditions?” Christianity has been changing existing conditions for about nine teen hundred years, there is no reason why it should break down now. To “love thy neighbor aa thyself,” trying to help him, In stead of trying to rob him, will al ways Improve conditions if men mean it. Another suggestion before Con gress is to forbid experiment with an scientific study of poison gases. The peak of absurdity is to sug gest that we must not KNOW about poison gases. Can we not trust ourselves. Is it not idiocy to say that our scientists shall not keep this country informed about important warlike weapons? We are not planning to gas any- ' body, but we should be- ready to •' answer gas with gas. To tie our .. hands would be idiocy* About Ifout* | I M Thing? You Should Know i | oy John Joseph Caines, M. D j j A FIRESIDE CHAT. “Keep the feet warm, the head cool, and, the bowels open.” I was told by the old college professor, that strict obedience to this com mand would insure a healthy body at all times. * I can think of at least fifty seri ous disorders, including fatal dis ease of the kidneys, and dangerous liver disorders, that have their ori gin in constipation. From ordinary auto-intoxication we go from bad j to worse; the kidneys break down, | In their futile attempts to carry away the body-poisons; the gall- • bladder becomes infected; the stom- , ■ ach rebels; the blood becomes more ] vitiated; the heart, finally weakens dangerously,—and all because of neglected bowels. A stitch in time | is worth nine applied too* late. ;M The question of cold feet is in- j creasingly evident in these winter 1 days. The low-pattern shoe is the correct thing in fashion; but I am ,! yet unconvinced that the low shoe jl is not a ahortener of life, and I , | know it ia a menace to health; es- ; pecially for women. The, silk stock- | j ing, the “goose pimples” beneath !| and the congested lung make the ■ thoughtful physician wonder if the added attractiveness is worth the price! A Light head dressing should be ; wora, summer or winter. Tight fitting hats are conducive to bald heads, which are perhaps minor ef fects of head-wrappiag; both scalp and face are freshened and invigo-' rated by contact with winter air. The idea of enveloping the neck • and head in fur and feathers, and ■ the lower third of the person in I thin silk, carries little appeal the healthy race standpoint. r v‘ » it v *. Next Week ■'** -.&} j LAW, FRANCE, MEAR THE SITE OF THE BIG OcPTHA MEUTA, A MOJOCLASS CABIN SHIP MOTRE. DAME, PARIS Mouse, ' _ Stratford-oh-Aw England. Holland. Belgium and France are the popular countries for collegiate tours during the summer of 1926. and the St. Law rence route seems to be the popu lar short route for many students. The idea of being able to cross the ocean and get back home again at the price usually paid tor one way, seems to be the necessar ry inducement to college people, and, according to the Art Crafts 'Cuild, Chicago, which is organiz ing these tours in connection with the Canadian Pacific, bookings are 'much ahead of last year. No one should attempt to see Europe without a background of England. The experienced travel lers arranging the collegiate toura realise this, and plan a week visit ing Oxford, the great intellectual . entre. Stoke Pogea end other biti of rural England,^«nd London. London, so full of Interest histor ically and with many nooks and crannies filled with the ghosts of famous literary personages! France cornea next to England in popularity witl college folks. Some there are who become so # •* M .. Ann Hathaway* Cottage thrilled with life in Paris that a second trip across the ocean would be incomplete without at least a weel in the gay boulevards and art galleries of France’s capitol. But there are others to whom the somewhat superficial atmosphere of the chic Paris is less attractive than the wooden shoes and quain'. caps and flaxen braids of the Hol landsise, Very few in America have not some keen personal interest in the battle areas of France snd Bel gium, and so most of the collegiate tours embrace an extensive motor trip through Be Ileau Wood, Chateau Thierry. Soissons. Senlis. and Rheims. The idea of the collegiate^ tour* is rapidly becoming an accented! * thing. At first, to travel third class did not appeal even to the enthusiastic graduate unable to doJ travel without a substantial reduc tion in even the second class fares. But, realizing the increasing num bers of professional people willing to travel at reduced rates, the steamship companies inaugurated the tourist third rate, put rugs on bare stateroom floors, revised the, menus to suit American tastes in stead of foreign, and the rssult was that students and professors last year hobnobbed with each other below decks. This yeai ever increasing numbers will'follow the example set by the venturesome onqp of Jast year. ^ . J_... ! r BEGIN HERE TODAY | •' A* yfitiN W. BROOKE, widower | 'and father of three grown chil dren, Constance, Billy and Al ice, has been away for several weeks since arranging with n Arm of efficiency experts to manage his home. He returns j 1 unexpectedly to And his Fifth ' Avenue mansion ablase with lights, strange servants In : : attendance and strange gnests | | celebrating the engagement of L ! Constance to H. Hedge, the man who Is supposed to be running the household on aa economic | basis. 1 He tells the butler at the 1 door that he la the owner of the } \ place and is held captive pead 1 lug the arrival of the police. | Hedge, who has never met Brooke, tells Constance about the Incident at the door, and from a description by Hedge she assures him that the sup posed lunatic la undoubtedly her father. ] NOW GO ON WITH THE STORY | npHIS was hia day 6f reckoning; l _ J. this the hour for him to render * 1 an account of his stewardship. | He made a swift survey of the revel ers about him and of the glories that = had been achieved by dollars. Then, i setting his shoulders stiffly, he fol § lowed Constance into the hall. He { found her hugging the lunatic. ••What in Sam Hill has struck this I place?” demanded John W. Brooke, j after submitting to the enthusiastic I salutations of his daughter. “Who I are these servants here? What do they mean by throwing me out of ^ my house?” “They didn't know you, father,” I said Constance soothingly. “But what are they doing here? I And who are all these people?” “We’re giving si party, father dear." j “A party? What for?" I - “Why—Just for _ fun," filtered } Constance. Mr. Brooke surveyed the unex I am pled richness of his environment and fastened a steely blue glance | upon his daughter.__ “So, ft’s a party, IS It? That's a 1 tine way to welcome your father I home—lugging several hundred peo 1 pie into my house with a strange \ gang of servants!". “But. father, dear, we didn’t ex pect you. Not for ever so long. You see. It’s nowhere near the 19th of February. It's only a little after New Year’s.’’ Constance was Infinitely more ner vous than was her wont, even with i John W. Brooke in a tantrum. “So!" he barked. “Just because I j come home unexpectedly I catch you at It, do I? And you call this a party! I call It a riot." Constance cast a nervous glance at H- Hedge, who was a pace In the I background. i“Do you know what they did to me?" demanded Mr. Brooke. "They led me into the library, before I knew what was happening, and some flossy little pony In a pink dress tried I to get me to dance. Me! And when 1 told them I was boss here they sent for a couple of strong-arms and j tried to pitch me out of my own ? house." John W. Brooke, still garbed In I hat and overcoat, paused, panting. “Where’s Alice?” be demanded. 1 “In bed?" , . w Constance shook her head faintly. I Alice was dancing somewhere, revel i ing in new-found liberty. y, “Where’s Bill?" j “Oh, he’s around somewhere. Shall ] I call him?" Mr. Brooke made a gesture of dis gust. “None of my children at the door to meet me," he declaimed angrily. “Nobody but a peck of strangers— and a party!” “You’re* looking awfully well, father.” said Constance soothingly. “You look younger." "Cut It out!" he commanded per ;::!!!fliiiiiiiiMfninnimniniimiimiiimii8dnji emptodly. "I’vo heard that stuff be fore. I don’t look awfully well, and I’m not younger. Do you hear? I’m older, by several weeks. And I feel sick.” "Father!” "Sick of all this tomfoolery, I mean. I came back, looking for a quiet life, and I might as well have butted into a Coney Island mardi gras.” H. Hedge stepped forward. “Please consider that the party Is in honor of your homecoming,” he said. "A sort of house-warming." John W. Brooke turned a baleful glare In the direction of the speaker. He placed his hands on his hips, spread his legs wide apart, and studied H. Hedge from head to feet. 1 (gp 1 "Engagement I You d/i gagtd T* "Who In blaam are yeuT" be de manded. "This la kfr. Hedge, fatbei," Mid Constance hurriedly. ••Hedge? Why. that's the upstart who ordered these Aunkles te throw me out!" "Just a part ef the eorprlee. Mr. Brooke.” observed H. Hedge with a winning smile. "Of course are didn t really mean It, you know." The smile was lost uroo the owner of the mansion. "Oh, you didn't mean It!" he echoed meagaly. "Well, you wait till I get hold of the police and youtfl And out whether I mean something. By jingo, there’s a couple of cops now!" Two men In uniform had entered the ball. "Where’s the nut?" asked the fore most. "Somebody ’phoned they had an old party with an empty attic." H. Hedge Stepped quickly forward and whispered to the officer. "Escaped, ehT*' said the policeman "Which way did he go*" •■Ran north a block, and nheo around the corner." answered Hedge briskly ,r7ou may get him if you hurry.' Tha two odiwra were retreating, whan Mr. Srooke broke loose from hta daughter’* grasp end ran after them. "Hey!" he crod "If you're look ing for a rut. here’s one.‘*(, He pointed to U Hedge. ■ — "Lock him up"' he cried. "He tried - - _ 1 !nnminiiiiiiiiiniiiii!ir""i!”!:”:m".:.~.‘1 s to throw me out of .ay u.... .. j Maybe he’s a burglar, too.’’ * • Constance interceded hurriedry "Father! Now, don’t make a i r-o . about things. You don’t understand at all. Send those officers away i.. i then let mo explain." "I don't intend to have that man ... in my house one minute lunger." ~ stormed Mr. Brooke “And I’m going v to clear out the whole crowd, too. - "S-sh—father! Officers, please f away I am Miss Brooke, and every* ? thing is all right. My father doesn't understand the situation yet." = “You bet 1 don't!" "Come, father we're going into the A library to have a talk." "The library's full of maniocs j dancing," bellowed John W Brooke. ■? "Then we’ll go upstairs in your \ rooms. Come now like- a dear old ^ daddy." Mr. Brooke suffered himself to be I led upstairs, and the policemen, at a §f peremptory sign from H Hedge, de parted. _ A The sitting-room of John W 5 Brooke presented a normal appear ance to his eyes, but when he stepped =; into the bedroom he stopped short. I "Who owrns those pants?" he de- | manded, pointing to a garment hang- | ing over the back of a chair "Not -3 mine. Who owns those neckties’ | Those are not my hairbrushes. | What the devil. Connie—” Constance who had been follow ing, hesitated. "And say. where’s the man in f charge of this house’’’ demanded her f father, suddenly remembering. ;1 "I’m the man," said the voice of H. Hedge, who had also followed up stairs. Brooke wheeled upon him -. with a bellow. J "You!" I "That is, I was until this morning. § I sent in my resignation." H. Hedge was calm and still smil- I Ing. “You want me to understand that I you’re the man sent here by tho j Economy and Efficiency people?” "There are my credentials. You j signed them," said Hedge, placidly, exhibiting the document. Mr. Brooke swallowed once or twice as he glared at the paper. "And is this the way you’ve been 1 running my house?” "No; not the way 1 did run It. But, as I said, I quit running It this morning; that Is, running It on that plan." I "Are you running this shindig I downstairs?” Inquired Mr Brooke I ominously. 9 '1 was—for a time. But it’s run ning Itself very nicely now.’-' "Ho ran tho house berutlfully. father," said Constance nervously "Truly." H. Hedge grinned at her j "Well, by the eternal!'* exploded g John W. Brooke. "I hired a man to g j run this house on the basis of econo my, and I got a guarantee with It j « And I come home to find myself In suited and thrown out. with a lot of strange servants on the place and i my money being spent as If I was the government treasury. Where do I come In? What does it all mean’ That's what I want to know. Who authorised this blowout?" “Oh. I authorised it," said H Hedge promptly. "And organized It. It's a sort of double-barreled affair, you see. On one hand, It's a surprise party for you, sir." "And that’s no llei" boomed Mr. Brooke. "On the other hand, It celebrates the announcement of your daughter's engagement." John W. Brooke turned purple and whirled upon his daughter. "Engagement.’ You engaged?" ' Constnace nodded and blushed> j "Who In blazes to?" "Me," answered H Hedge., ate** "Well, I'll bo—'* _ Mr. Brooke finished the sea twice H» a fit of choking that alarmed Ms daughter "Engaged." he repeated dully, after] be had recovered speech "My daughter engaged—and to this thing here. 8ay. let's all go down to Belle j vue and have our heads easasMed ] Engaged, hey? WoM, youet hereby disengaged; and an for you, young man. If you’re not out of thle house la thirty seconds you’ll ho dtoomj bodied.** _ NEXT CHAPTER* Hedge Uhl Haiti! late a Jeb. Ai Smith’s Birthday Cake It may have been mere coincidence, and then again it may not— but Chef Ryolchi Hida, in making a birthday cake for 3overnol Al Smith of New York, modelled It after the national capital. The ‘weighed 250 pounds. _ , Daring This little speedboat was meant tor quiet waters. Bat, to win a bet. R. R. Stevens and J. 8. Oakley drove it all the way from San Francisco to San Diego—600 jailer in the open ocean. They made an average speed of 24 milee ab hou». ^ I— "■.I—.—... I. . —■ Coolidge Appointee — Cyras E. Woods who has appointed to the Interstate Com merce Oommiaoion by Pna Coot 4dfe in place of F. I. Oox of New Jersey; whose term expired. A fight in the senate is expected te raoolt Long May He Live Latest photo of HIrohite former* Print* Regent who become* the new Emfferor of Japan, th ough tb*; wnl faith *1 hi* father. . ■nf Fur Collar A nice fur collar ■ "ts oit any coat, and the bigger it is the bet ter does it. This tweed coat with billowy fur is one of the lat creations for cold weather. I Government ran a i>cakea*y Irt New York to get evi.j. on rum runners. Got the evidence. but, ran place at a h< ivy toss. Gor ‘ernnient operation is sure a bloomer Nine-Inch miowf ill "paralyzed traffic” in Ohio city. \v nder how1 that sounds to people i Medicine, Mat. Jesse Janu ■ usi wife of southern prohibition .. t. We've* known of bou»I< c* at must* he Jesse v> own r • American sail- I Mod in Nicaragua, but ;hi marines'll, probably get all the credit.