ThhWeek
By Arthur Brisbane
I A DR. WORK WHO WORKS.
! BE PATIENT WITH STATIC
! “XMAS” A SACRILEGE.
) CHRISTIANITY A FAILURE?
I .. —nit.- tt
| Dr. Work, Secretary of the In
terior, »ay» of the 1927 outlook?
-There is not a tingle distress
sign on the whole coonomie heri
tor?.”
Secretary Work doesn’t sit at his
dealt, guessing. He travels oyer
the country constantly, studying
II opportunities for national improve
| ment. He knows conditions, and
his opinion is important and en
couraging.
1 Should millions of women read
. of the death of Sir Oliver Lodge,
I Marconi, Millikin and a doten
other great scientists the majority
would say, “That's too bad,*
I be not much interested.
' Every- one of millions will be b»
i terested to hear that Jean Phillipe
( Worth, the famous dressmaker, has
1 gone to a land where there is no
i sewing.
• His house dressed queens and
empresses of state and finance, aleo
' young ladies with whom their sons
ran around in Paris. His word
meant more in real authority to the
world’s women than all the deci
1 lions of a thousand high judges.
4 m '
• Re patient with static, when it
• interferes with jazz music or prize
f fight news coming sweetly over
e your radio. Professor Pupin, of
Columbia College, says static and
‘•fading,” enemies of radio en
thusiasts, really indicate that other
planets are trying to talk bo us.
They send powerful messages that
interfere with our feeble radio, and
Vopin thinks we shaM understand
. those messages within twenty-five
. years.
Our age listens indifferently to
4 ihafc news, but no man can exag
gerate ito importance.
if planets millions of years older
than our earth could tell ui= wluu
they know, our science might jump
ahead as rapidly as a child ad
vances in knowledge after it turn
learned to taik and read.
We light little bonfires, hca
steam, and thus obtain power.
Mars might teach us to harness the*
power of the sun, and transmit en
ergy without wires, which would uo
away with engines or fue. on fly
ing machines, and give us unlhmt: 1
power.
It is said that in this c^v ’’v
there is more commercial “flying
mileage” than in any other.
flFor that thanks are due to Pres
ident Coolidge and Postmaster
General New, who have encour
aged air mall routes. But flying;
back and forth by mail carriers,
most desirable, does not mean
building up national aerial defense.
And for our commercial flying
we depend on private initiative,
citisens building planes that will
"get by” and enable them to make
money aarrying mail. That isn’t a
Government programme for pro
moting aviation.
Clergymen are protesting against
the abbreviated "Xmas," which re
duces the name of Christ to "X.”
The abbreviation is disrespectful
to the most beautiful word in his
tory. and It is disrespectful to the
English language. Anybody who
was hi too much of a hurry to
write out "Christmas” should not
use the word.
Wise men in Milwaukee will de
rate three days to discussing high
Questions, including this, “Can
Christianity be of any parctical use
in ehanging existing conditions?”
Christianity has been changing
existing conditions for about nine
teen hundred years, there is no
reason why it should break down
now. To “love thy neighbor aa
thyself,” trying to help him, In
stead of trying to rob him, will al
ways Improve conditions if men
mean it.
Another suggestion before Con
gress is to forbid experiment with
an scientific study of poison gases.
The peak of absurdity is to sug
gest that we must not KNOW
about poison gases. Can we not
trust ourselves. Is it not idiocy
to say that our scientists shall not
keep this country informed about
important warlike weapons?
We are not planning to gas any- '
body, but we should be- ready to •'
answer gas with gas. To tie our ..
hands would be idiocy*
About Ifout* |
I
M
Thing? You Should Know i |
oy John Joseph Caines, M. D j j
A FIRESIDE CHAT.
“Keep the feet warm, the head
cool, and, the bowels open.” I was
told by the old college professor,
that strict obedience to this com
mand would insure a healthy body
at all times. *
I can think of at least fifty seri
ous disorders, including fatal dis
ease of the kidneys, and dangerous
liver disorders, that have their ori
gin in constipation. From ordinary
auto-intoxication we go from bad j
to worse; the kidneys break down, |
In their futile attempts to carry
away the body-poisons; the gall- •
bladder becomes infected; the stom- , ■
ach rebels; the blood becomes more ]
vitiated; the heart, finally weakens
dangerously,—and all because of
neglected bowels. A stitch in time |
is worth nine applied too* late. ;M
The question of cold feet is in- j
creasingly evident in these winter 1
days. The low-pattern shoe is the
correct thing in fashion; but I am ,!
yet unconvinced that the low shoe jl
is not a ahortener of life, and I , |
know it ia a menace to health; es- ;
pecially for women. The, silk stock- | j
ing, the “goose pimples” beneath !|
and the congested lung make the ■
thoughtful physician wonder if the
added attractiveness is worth the
price! A
Light head dressing should be ;
wora, summer or winter. Tight
fitting hats are conducive to bald
heads, which are perhaps minor ef
fects of head-wrappiag; both scalp
and face are freshened and invigo-'
rated by contact with winter air.
The idea of enveloping the neck •
and head in fur and feathers, and ■
the lower third of the person in I
thin silk, carries little appeal
the healthy race standpoint. r v‘ »
it v *. Next Week ■'** -.&} j
LAW, FRANCE,
MEAR THE SITE
OF THE BIG
OcPTHA
MEUTA, A
MOJOCLASS
CABIN SHIP
MOTRE.
DAME, PARIS
Mouse, ' _
Stratford-oh-Aw
England. Holland. Belgium and
France are the popular countries
for collegiate tours during the
summer of 1926. and the St. Law
rence route seems to be the popu
lar short route for many students.
The idea of being able to cross
the ocean and get back home
again at the price usually paid tor
one way, seems to be the necessar
ry inducement to college people,
and, according to the Art Crafts
'Cuild, Chicago, which is organiz
ing these tours in connection with
the Canadian Pacific, bookings are
'much ahead of last year.
No one should attempt to see
Europe without a background of
England. The experienced travel
lers arranging the collegiate toura
realise this, and plan a week visit
ing Oxford, the great intellectual
. entre. Stoke Pogea end other biti
of rural England,^«nd London.
London, so full of Interest histor
ically and with many nooks and
crannies filled with the ghosts of
famous literary personages!
France cornea next to England
in popularity witl college folks.
Some there are who become so
# •* M ..
Ann Hathaway* Cottage
thrilled with life in Paris that a
second trip across the ocean would
be incomplete without at least a
weel in the gay boulevards and
art galleries of France’s capitol.
But there are others to whom the
somewhat superficial atmosphere
of the chic Paris is less attractive
than the wooden shoes and quain'.
caps and flaxen braids of the Hol
landsise,
Very few in America have not
some keen personal interest in the
battle areas of France snd Bel
gium, and so most of the collegiate
tours embrace an extensive motor
trip through Be Ileau Wood,
Chateau Thierry. Soissons. Senlis.
and Rheims.
The idea of the collegiate^ tour*
is rapidly becoming an accented! *
thing. At first, to travel third
class did not appeal even to the
enthusiastic graduate unable to doJ
travel without a substantial reduc
tion in even the second class fares.
But, realizing the increasing num
bers of professional people willing
to travel at reduced rates, the
steamship companies inaugurated
the tourist third rate, put rugs on
bare stateroom floors, revised the,
menus to suit American tastes in
stead of foreign, and the rssult
was that students and professors
last year hobnobbed with each
other below decks. This yeai ever
increasing numbers will'follow the
example set by the venturesome
onqp of Jast year. ^ . J_...
! r BEGIN HERE TODAY
| •' A* yfitiN W. BROOKE, widower
| 'and father of three grown chil
dren, Constance, Billy and Al
ice, has been away for several
weeks since arranging with n
Arm of efficiency experts to
manage his home. He returns
j 1 unexpectedly to And his Fifth
' Avenue mansion ablase with
lights, strange servants In
: : attendance and strange gnests
| | celebrating the engagement of
L ! Constance to H. Hedge, the man
who Is supposed to be running
the household on aa economic
| basis.
1 He tells the butler at the
1 door that he la the owner of the
} \ place and is held captive pead
1 lug the arrival of the police.
| Hedge, who has never met
Brooke, tells Constance about
the Incident at the door, and
from a description by Hedge
she assures him that the sup
posed lunatic la undoubtedly
her father.
] NOW GO ON WITH THE STORY
| npHIS was hia day 6f reckoning;
l _ J. this the hour for him to render
* 1 an account of his stewardship.
| He made a swift survey of the revel
ers about him and of the glories that
= had been achieved by dollars. Then,
i setting his shoulders stiffly, he fol
§ lowed Constance into the hall. He
{ found her hugging the lunatic.
••What in Sam Hill has struck this
I place?” demanded John W. Brooke,
j after submitting to the enthusiastic
I salutations of his daughter. “Who
I are these servants here? What do
they mean by throwing me out of
^ my house?”
“They didn't know you, father,”
I said Constance soothingly.
“But what are they doing here?
I And who are all these people?”
“We’re giving si party, father
dear."
j “A party? What for?"
I - “Why—Just for _ fun," filtered
} Constance.
Mr. Brooke surveyed the unex
I am pled richness of his environment
and fastened a steely blue glance
| upon his daughter.__
“So, ft’s a party, IS It? That's a
1 tine way to welcome your father
I home—lugging several hundred peo
1 pie into my house with a strange
\ gang of servants!".
“But. father, dear, we didn’t ex
pect you. Not for ever so long. You
see. It’s nowhere near the 19th of
February. It's only a little after
New Year’s.’’
Constance was Infinitely more ner
vous than was her wont, even with
i John W. Brooke in a tantrum.
“So!" he barked. “Just because I
j come home unexpectedly I catch you
at It, do I? And you call this a
party! I call It a riot."
Constance cast a nervous glance
at H- Hedge, who was a pace In the
I background.
i“Do you know what they did to
me?" demanded Mr. Brooke. "They
led me into the library, before I knew
what was happening, and some
flossy little pony In a pink dress tried
I to get me to dance. Me! And when
1 told them I was boss here they
sent for a couple of strong-arms and
j tried to pitch me out of my own
? house."
John W. Brooke, still garbed In
I hat and overcoat, paused, panting.
“Where’s Alice?” be demanded.
1 “In bed?" , . w
Constance shook her head faintly.
I Alice was dancing somewhere, revel
i ing in new-found liberty. y,
“Where’s Bill?" j
“Oh, he’s around somewhere. Shall ]
I call him?"
Mr. Brooke made a gesture of dis
gust.
“None of my children at the door
to meet me," he declaimed angrily.
“Nobody but a peck of strangers—
and a party!”
“You’re* looking awfully well,
father.” said Constance soothingly.
“You look younger."
"Cut It out!" he commanded per
;::!!!fliiiiiiiiMfninnimniniimiimiiimii8dnji
emptodly. "I’vo heard that stuff be
fore. I don’t look awfully well, and
I’m not younger. Do you hear? I’m
older, by several weeks. And I feel
sick.”
"Father!”
"Sick of all this tomfoolery, I
mean. I came back, looking for a
quiet life, and I might as well have
butted into a Coney Island mardi
gras.”
H. Hedge stepped forward.
“Please consider that the party Is
in honor of your homecoming,” he
said. "A sort of house-warming."
John W. Brooke turned a baleful
glare In the direction of the speaker.
He placed his hands on his hips,
spread his legs wide apart, and
studied H. Hedge from head to feet.
1 (gp 1
"Engagement I You d/i
gagtd T*
"Who In blaam are yeuT" be de
manded.
"This la kfr. Hedge, fatbei," Mid
Constance hurriedly.
••Hedge? Why. that's the upstart
who ordered these Aunkles te throw
me out!"
"Just a part ef the eorprlee. Mr.
Brooke.” observed H. Hedge with a
winning smile. "Of course are didn t
really mean It, you know."
The smile was lost uroo the owner
of the mansion.
"Oh, you didn't mean It!" he
echoed meagaly. "Well, you wait
till I get hold of the police and youtfl
And out whether I mean something.
By jingo, there’s a couple of cops
now!"
Two men In uniform had entered
the ball.
"Where’s the nut?" asked the fore
most. "Somebody ’phoned they had
an old party with an empty attic."
H. Hedge Stepped quickly forward
and whispered to the officer.
"Escaped, ehT*' said the policeman
"Which way did he go*"
•■Ran north a block, and nheo
around the corner." answered Hedge
briskly ,r7ou may get him if you
hurry.'
Tha two odiwra were retreating,
whan Mr. Srooke broke loose from
hta daughter’* grasp end ran after
them.
"Hey!" he crod "If you're look
ing for a rut. here’s one.‘*(,
He pointed to U Hedge. ■ —
"Lock him up"' he cried. "He tried
- - _ 1
!nnminiiiiiiiiiniiiii!ir""i!”!:”:m".:.~.‘1
s
to throw me out of .ay u.... .. j
Maybe he’s a burglar, too.’’ * •
Constance interceded hurriedry
"Father! Now, don’t make a i r-o .
about things. You don’t understand
at all. Send those officers away i.. i
then let mo explain."
"I don't intend to have that man ...
in my house one minute lunger." ~
stormed Mr. Brooke “And I’m going v
to clear out the whole crowd, too. -
"S-sh—father! Officers, please f
away I am Miss Brooke, and every* ?
thing is all right. My father doesn't
understand the situation yet." =
“You bet 1 don't!"
"Come, father we're going into the A
library to have a talk."
"The library's full of maniocs j
dancing," bellowed John W Brooke. ■?
"Then we’ll go upstairs in your \
rooms. Come now like- a dear old ^
daddy."
Mr. Brooke suffered himself to be I
led upstairs, and the policemen, at a §f
peremptory sign from H Hedge, de
parted. _ A
The sitting-room of John W 5
Brooke presented a normal appear
ance to his eyes, but when he stepped =;
into the bedroom he stopped short. I
"Who owrns those pants?" he de- |
manded, pointing to a garment hang- |
ing over the back of a chair "Not -3
mine. Who owns those neckties’ |
Those are not my hairbrushes. |
What the devil. Connie—”
Constance who had been follow
ing, hesitated.
"And say. where’s the man in f
charge of this house’’’ demanded her f
father, suddenly remembering. ;1
"I’m the man," said the voice of
H. Hedge, who had also followed up
stairs. Brooke wheeled upon him -.
with a bellow. J
"You!" I
"That is, I was until this morning. §
I sent in my resignation."
H. Hedge was calm and still smil- I
Ing.
“You want me to understand that I
you’re the man sent here by tho j
Economy and Efficiency people?”
"There are my credentials. You j
signed them," said Hedge, placidly,
exhibiting the document.
Mr. Brooke swallowed once or
twice as he glared at the paper.
"And is this the way you’ve been 1
running my house?”
"No; not the way 1 did run It. But,
as I said, I quit running It this
morning; that Is, running It on that
plan." I
"Are you running this shindig I
downstairs?” Inquired Mr Brooke I
ominously. 9
'1 was—for a time. But it’s run
ning Itself very nicely now.’-'
"Ho ran tho house berutlfully.
father," said Constance nervously
"Truly."
H. Hedge grinned at her j
"Well, by the eternal!'* exploded g
John W. Brooke. "I hired a man to g j
run this house on the basis of econo
my, and I got a guarantee with It j «
And I come home to find myself In
suited and thrown out. with a lot of
strange servants on the place and i
my money being spent as If I was the
government treasury. Where do I
come In? What does it all mean’
That's what I want to know. Who
authorised this blowout?"
“Oh. I authorised it," said H
Hedge promptly. "And organized
It. It's a sort of double-barreled
affair, you see. On one hand, It's a
surprise party for you, sir."
"And that’s no llei" boomed Mr.
Brooke.
"On the other hand, It celebrates
the announcement of your daughter's
engagement."
John W. Brooke turned purple and
whirled upon his daughter.
"Engagement.’ You engaged?" '
Constnace nodded and blushed> j
"Who In blazes to?"
"Me," answered H Hedge., ate**
"Well, I'll bo—'* _
Mr. Brooke finished the sea twice H»
a fit of choking that alarmed Ms
daughter
"Engaged." he repeated dully, after]
be had recovered speech "My
daughter engaged—and to this thing
here. 8ay. let's all go down to Belle j
vue and have our heads easasMed ]
Engaged, hey? WoM, youet hereby
disengaged; and an for you, young
man. If you’re not out of thle house
la thirty seconds you’ll ho dtoomj
bodied.** _
NEXT CHAPTER* Hedge Uhl
Haiti! late a Jeb.
Ai Smith’s Birthday Cake
It may have been mere coincidence, and then again it may not—
but Chef Ryolchi Hida, in making a birthday cake for 3overnol Al
Smith of New York, modelled It after the national capital. The
‘weighed 250 pounds. _ ,
Daring
This little speedboat was
meant tor quiet waters. Bat, to
win a bet. R. R. Stevens and J. 8.
Oakley drove it all the way from
San Francisco to San Diego—600
jailer in the open ocean. They
made an average speed of 24 milee
ab hou». ^
I— "■.I—.—... I. . —■
Coolidge Appointee
—
Cyras E. Woods who has
appointed to the Interstate Com
merce Oommiaoion by Pna Coot
4dfe in place of F. I. Oox of New
Jersey; whose term expired. A
fight in the senate is expected te
raoolt
Long May He Live
Latest photo of HIrohite former*
Print* Regent who become* the
new Emfferor of Japan, th ough tb*;
wnl faith *1 hi* father.
. ■nf
Fur Collar
A nice fur collar ■ "ts oit any
coat, and the bigger it is the bet
ter does it. This tweed coat
with billowy fur is one of the lat
creations for cold weather.
I
Government ran a i>cakea*y Irt
New York to get evi.j. on rum
runners. Got the evidence. but,
ran place at a h< ivy toss. Gor
‘ernnient operation is sure a
bloomer
Nine-Inch miowf ill "paralyzed
traffic” in Ohio city. \v nder how1
that sounds to people i Medicine,
Mat.
Jesse Janu ■ usi wife of
southern prohibition .. t. We've*
known of bou»I< c* at must*
he Jesse v> own r
•
American sail- I Mod in
Nicaragua, but ;hi marines'll,
probably get all the credit.