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Philadelphia A dvertiscmcnts. Philadelphia Advertisements. HUMOROUS ITEMS- Philadelphia Advertisements. BOOKSELLERS & STATIONERS. MILLER & ELDER, I&ooltscllcrs mart Slalioncrs, BLANK BOOK MANUFACTURERS, And Dealers in WINDOW CURTAINS AND WALL PAPER, No. 430, Market Street, 31 PHILADELPHIA, PA. CHARLES MAGARGE & CO., Wholesale Dealers In Paper, Xsit-;, c3., Nos. 30, 32, and 31, South Sixth Street, PHILADELPHIA, PA. fi Paper any Size, Weight, Color and Quality, made to order, at short notice. Iuly4l SOWER, BARNES & POTTS, ISookseilcvs & Stationers, And Dealers in CURTAIN AND wall-papers, Nos. 530 Market and 523 Minor Streets, PHILADELPHIA, PA. Aft. Publishers of Sanders' New ltc:ilpvs. nml Brooks' Arithmetics. Also, Robert's History I uio uuilcu otiiies, return s uuuiiie Maps, &e. Always on hand, and made to Order. 3H IjOCBiaiAX'S "Writiaia: lluid ! THIS FLUID is warranted EQUAL to Arnold's, and is sold ut miii'.n ltss nncn. Thi imtiiui- will be refunded to those buying it, if it does not uuve tMiuieiy sai.isiaiaory. tiA-For saie by F. lUoriimcr, New Bloonilield. MILLER & ELDER, Solo Agents, 430 Market Street, 23031 Philadelphia. Glass and Queensivare. A. L. Kaub. J. E. Fketmire, KAUB & FRY3IIRG, Impoiiteks AND JOBJIEllS OP China, O- laws AND QtTEENSWARE, 301 and 303, Cherry St., between Arch & Race, PHILADELPHIA. 5D" Constantly on hand, Original Assorted Packages. 3. 9. ly 10 MISCELLANEOUS. ruMrs t TUMI'S I FOR PUKE WATER, USE TUE CELEniUTEp.. CUCU3HJ5EK PUUIP Made of wild Cucumber wood, en tirely tasteless, duriUile and rrllalile ; the good old-fashioned wooden pump, made by Machinery, and .therefore perfect and accurate in all Its parts, raising :u equal amount of water, and costing less than hall tin moiicv. Easily arranged so as to be noii freezing, and in construction hosuii ple that any on van nut it up and keep it in rejialr. After thorough trial it Is acknowledged the Best? a.nd Cheapest. CHARLES G. 11 LATCH LEY, MANUKAUTUUin. B- Ol'llce and Ware-room, Nos. 624 and 62ii Filbert Street,. 4 15 61116 PHILADELPHIA, PA. These Pumps can be ordered of the Manu. actmer, or F. Mortimer & Co., New lllooiutleld. ESTEY'S Cottngo Organs, GREAT INDUCEMENTS offered to Churches and Sunday Schools. Organs and Melodeons fr sal on monthly Instalments. E. M. BRUCE, No. 18 North Seventh fit,. Hit! PHILADELPHIA. DRUCS, MEDICINES AND PAINTS. Jolin Lucas & Co., Sole and THE ONLY MANUFACTURERS OF TUB IMPERIAL FRENCH, PURE SWISS GREEN, Also, Pure White Lend and Color MANUFACTURERS, Nos, 141 and 143 North Fourth St., Philadelphia. SIDDALL & MARKLEY, Wholesale Druggists AND DEAT.EKS IN Patent Medicines, 119 MARKET STREET, NEAR FRONT. Philadelphia, Pa. A FULL STOCK of everthlng connected with the business, of the best iuality, and at very low prices. A good location for business, with a ow rent and light expenses, enables us to offer In ducements to buyers, and makes it worth their while to give us a trial. Philadelphia, 3. 8tf. SAVES LABOR ! Saves Time ! SAVES 3IOXEY! AINKIGHT & CO'S Labor-Saving Soap Will be found the best in use. With this Soap washing may be done with half the labor required when any other Is used, and the saving in wear to clothes is really astonishing. It will cost only Fif teen Cents to try it, and after that you will use no other. a.For sale by all Grocers, and by F. Mortimer, New ISloomlleld, Ta. 317 Worth its Weight in Gold! rjTHIIS is what everybody who has used It says of XESJIITirS LIXI3EEXT. For Rheumatic Fains it will give instant relief ami cnecia permanent cure 111 a snoii time. It is also tue best remedy in the World for Cuts. Sprains, Bruises and Burns, and not only giving prompt relief from pain, but. heals without leaving any scar. All who have tried it, say no family should be without it, for it is worth its weight in Biu. - Try a bottle of it! No cure, No fay. 317 r or saie at r. .uortimcr s. J1ENNSYL.VANIA ELASTIC SPONGE CO. No. 1111 CHESTNUT STREET PHILADELPHIA, ELASTIC SPONGE, A Substitute for Curled Hair, FOR ALL UPHOLSTERY PURPOSES. It Is cheaper than featheus or HAiii, and much superior, being the iightcst softest and most elastic material Known FOR MATTRESSES. TILLOWS, CARRIAGE, CAR. AND CHAIR CUSHIONS. It Is Indestiuctablo.free from dust, perfectly clean and for the sick is uuequaled.as. it' soiled it iseasily cicaueu. IT DOES NOT PACK And is entirely free from Moth Persons are- requested to examine the Cushion aiioniie ut tue ojite aj me common, Feb 8tf -No. 1111 CHESTNUT STREET Hardware, &c. . LLOYD, SUPPLEE, & WALTON,. WHOLESALE HARDWARE HOUSE No. 625 Market Street, Philadelphia. DRY COODS HOSIERY it. NOTIONS John Bhaffncr, Jr. E. S. Zicgler. Theo. Kumcl SKAFFNER, Z1E0LER & CO., Successors to SHAFFNEU, ZIEGLEB fc CO., Importers and Dealers in Hosiery, CJ loves, ISihhons, Suspenders, THREADS, COMBS, and every variety of TRIMMINGS AND FANCY GOODS, No. 36, North Fourth Street, PHILADELPHIA, PA. Agents for Lancaster Combs. BARCROFT & CO., Importers and Jobbers Of Staple and Fancy DRY - GOODS, Cloths, Cassimeres, Blankets, Linens, White Goods, Hosiery, &c, Nos. 103 and 407 MARKET STREET, (Above Fourth, North Side,) Philadelphia. Boots, Shoes, Hats and Caps. F. D. Miller. T. Rickert. C. II. Miller. MILLER, RICKERT & CO., succEssons to GRAYB1LL & NEWCOMER, Manufacturers and Wholesale Dealers in HATS, CAPS, FURS, STUAW-flOODS, &c., No. 319 North Third Streot, 2d Floor, PHILADELPHIA. 4 11 ly 10 W. F. ItOIILEll, JOBBER IN Hats, Caps, Furs, AND Stra av - 3r o o 1 s 153 NORTH THIRD STREET, 3 0 ly 10 PHILADELPHIA. W. W. Paul. D. J. Hoar. II. L. Hood. A. Trimble. WM. W. PAUL & CO. WHOLESALE BOOT AND SHOE WAREHOUSE, C23 Market St. and 614 Commerce Street, Philadelphia, Pcnn'a. MISCELLANEOUS. JRADBURY'S AND OTHER PI AX OS. jay lor A Farley's and E. P. Needham t- Son's ORGANS AND MEL0DE0N3. . WM. O. FISCHER, (Jenural Wholesale Agent, . 10B Arch Street and 21 North Eleventh Street, 3 426m.. PHILADELPHIA "The Red .Horse Powders" AltB fJIHE BEST POWDERS in the World for nORSKS, CATTLE, HOGS, . OR POULTRY. They will not only prevent, but will Cure diseases, and are the Cheapest, as well as the best Horse Powders in use. Try them. For sale by Stores and Druggists generally, and by F. Moiitimeu, New lilooiiillcld Pa. 3.'totf TOBACCO SECARS &.C. W. D. METCALFE, WITH James Husscl & Co., . Wholesale Dealers is Tobacco and Cigars, No. 11, South Front Street, Philadelphia. Agents for Celebrated Star Navy. 4 221y Thomas Robb. A. J. McConkey, ROBB & McCONKEY, Commission Merchants, And Wholesale Dealers in LEAF AND MANUFACTURED TOBACCOS, &C No. 13 North Fifth Street, (Between Market and Arch,) PHILADELPHIA, PA. 1041tf A. B. Cunningham. J. II. Lewars. J. S.Glcim. Cunningham, Gleini & Co., Wholesale Dealers in Tobacco, Segars, &c, NO. 4, NORTH FIFTH STREET, PHILADELPHIA. 32310 CROCERIES AND PROVISIONS. C P. IUIGUT & KltO'S, Wholesale Dealers in FISH, Clieeso AND Provisions, 114 South Delaware Avenne, Below Chestnnt St., PHILADELPHIA, PA.. Agents for Collins. Gcddcs & Co's Canned Fruits. 1041tf S. IS. TAYLOK, WITH . WAIN WRIGHT-& CO. WHOLESALE GROCERS AND TEA DEALERS, t North East Corner of 2nd and Arch Street?, Philadelphia Pa W. A. Atwooil. Isaac W. Ranck, ATWO0D, RANCK & CO., Commission Merehants, AND Wholesale Dealers In all kinds of Tickled and Sal FIS II , No. 210 North Wharves, above Race Street, 3 40 6m0 PHILADELPHIA, PA. PATTERSON fit NEWLIN, Wholesale Grocers, .AND COMMISSION MERCHANTS No. 120 ARCH STREET, I'hlladelph ia ... tor The sale of Eggs, Seeds, Grain and Wool, a specialty. lauy. Please send for a Circular. 4 138 WHOLESALE January 1, 1809. BSy There is a farmer in Yorkshire who lias a mile of children. His name is Furlong and he has four boys and four girls. Eight furlongs make one mile. JBST Two Ohio editors are reported to have arranged their duel thus : The one having choice of weapons, .names the gruhbing-hoo. Principals to stand back to back, each walk ten paces, then face about and fire at the word. 8y An ignoramus had been taken sick and, on recovering, was told by the doctor that ho might take a little animal food. " No, sir," said he, "I took your gruel easy enough, but hang me if I can eat your hay and oats. BS?" A gentleman the other day asked a young lady what she thought of the married state in general? " Not knowing can t tell, but it you and I were to put" our heads together, we could soon give a definite answer," was the reply. A lady who advertised for a wet nurse was much astonished at the youth ful appearance of an applicant. Have you ever been a wet nurse '( she asked. No inarm replied the girl but I would like to learn to be one. B " Pat," said Judge Sniff to his neighbor, in a sleeping car, you would have remained a long time in the old . country before you could have slept with , a judge. Yes, yer honor, and ye would have been a long time in the old country. belore ye d beeu a judge. One of the most original of ju- - venile inventions wasthatof little Fanny, , who, instead of saying her prayers at night, spread out her alphabet on the bed , and, raising her eyas to heaven, said, ,l O Lord L here are the letters; arrange them to suit yourself." BSS" A dull boy being, asked by the teacher who is the Dey of, Algiers ? Re plied " Thunder and Mars ! I've heard of the day 01 1'enticost, I hanksgiving. day and the day ot Judgement, but 1 ni darn ed if I ever heard of the day of Algiers . afore-.. BS5 " So you would not take me to bo over twenty said a lady to a young man who she was walking with. " What would you take me for then ?" " I would take you for better or- worse so long as we both do live, 11 you consent was the reply. Kcal nice, way that,-to " pop the ques-. tion," isn't it girls ? ,5T"Jake," said a blooming young lady in Indiana to her lover, cue Sun day evening, " if you mean business by coining hero twice a week, I want to know it, for I've just had an offer from another feller, aud shall take hini up in . two days if you don't pop. Jake instant ly " popped" and the wedding day was . set. BO? One of the physicians in Burling-, ton, Vt., driving into town on election , morning, was met by a friend who hailed , him with the question "Have, you, voted 1" " Not yet," replied the. doctor , " but I have been out all night after a, voter: I got him safe too." " When will, he vote 1" " Oh, about twenty-one years . from now." BQrOld Captain Moon (of Western steamboat notoriety,) was sitting one night on the capstan, keeping a sharp., look-out ahead, when, lulled, by the dri ving machinery, . he went fast asleip, . which was no sooner perceived than 0110 of the hands gave, "him a turn round," facing the boiler fires, then stuck a pin in him. Opening his eyes, he gave, one jump and shouted Buck her! stop her hero's a big steamboat right onto us." figy Negro- Wit. "How much ya charge Massa Magistrate, to marry mo.; and Miss Dinah V " Why, Clem, I'll marry you for two dollars." " Two dollars what you charge to marry white folks, massa '(" " We generally charge them five dollars, Clem." " Well, ya marry us like white folks, and I will give ye five dollars, too." " Why, Clem,, that's a curious notion, but as you desire it, I'll marry you like white folks for five dollars." The ceremony being over, and Clem and Dinah made one, the Magistrate asked for hiB fee. " Oh 110, Massa, ya no come up to de greement yano kiss dehride." "Get out of my office you black ras cal." And so Clem got married for nothing. v.