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Philadelphia Advertise in enls. Philadelphia Advertisements. Philadelphia Advertisements. HUMOROUS-ITEMS. BOOKSELLERS & STATIONERS. MILLER & ELDER, ISoo3tc!3cr.i ami Stationers, J1LAXK J1UOK MAXUFACTU11E118, And Dealers In WINDOW CURTAINS AND WALL IMPIXE, No. 4o0, Market Street, SI PHILADELPHIA, PA. CILVULKS HAGAKUK & CO., Wholesale Dealers in 'JPsiper, 12.si.x, No.l. 39, .",2, ami 31, Smith Sixth .street, PHILADELPHIA, PA. t.t. Paper any Size, Weight, Color and Quality, mado lo order, at snort imt.ee. lolyii SOWEil, I1AKXES & POTTS, S52irii'3Jvr:4 & filial iDisei"M, Ami Dealers in C U R T A I N AM) WALL-PAPERS, Nos. 531 .Market and 023 Minor Streets, PHILADELPHIA, PA. 3- Publishers or Sanders' New Headers, and HrooKV Arithmetic). Also, Robert's History of the United States, Feiton's Outline .Mays, tV.e. II LA?; It Always on Iriml, ami maile to Order. 31t Tills I' LI II) is warranted EQUAL to Arnold's. and is sold at inue.i u-s priue. Xlie money will lie relumled m those buying it, if it does not prove entirety sat.Sjaetoi y. .a. For sa.e liy F. ..loiumcr. New llloomtield. MILLEJl Si ELDER, Solo Agents, 430 Market Street, l'liiladuilila. 23031 Glass and Quecnswarc. A. L. KAUB. J. E. FllEVMIHE. KAUR & FHSY3IIKE, IMPORTERS AND JOUUKRS OF Chin g.i , O- 1 :i s s AND QUEENS WARE, 301 and 303, Cherry St., between Arch & Race, PHILADELPHIA. 1D Constantly on hand, Original Assorted Packages. 3. 9. ly ll) MISCELLANEOUS. pumps : PUMPS ! FOll PURE WATER, USE tub celkhhated Made of wild encumber wood, en tirely (imMms, ihinihli: (dul jvWuVc; the wood old-fashioned woodcupump, made liy machinery, and therefore pel led and accurate In all ils parts, laming an ecpial amount of water, and cost! nit less than half the money. lOaslly arranged so as lo lie noil, freezing, and in construction sosim p!c that tint one con mil it iii anil fi it in rrimlr. After thorough trial it is acknowledged the Best and Cheapest. CHARLES G. BLATCIII.EY, MANUFACTURER. X3- OHIce and Ware-room, Nos. 624 and liiii Filbert Street, 4 15 Onifil .PHILADELPHIA, PA, S-These Pumps can bo ordered of the Mann, acturer, or F. Mortimer & Co., New Itloomlield. ESTEY'S Cottig"o Orgrixus, GREAT INDUCEMENTS offered to Churches and Sunday Schools. Organs and Melodeons lor Bald on monthly Instalments. K. M. BRUCE, No. 18 North Seventh St.. 141tf PHILADELPHIA. mm mi DRUGS, MEDICINES AND PAINTS. John iiucas & Co., Sole and THE ONLY MANUFACTURERS OF THE IMPERIAL FRENCH, AND PURE SWISS GREEN, Also, Pui'o While Lead and Color MAyUFACTUPERS, Nos, 141 and 113 North Fourth St., Philadelphia. SIDDALL Si MARKLEY, Wholesale Druggists AND DEALERS IN Patent Medicines, 110 MARKET STREET, NEAR FRONT, Philadelphia, Pa. A Fl'I.T STOCK of everthing connected with J.. tlie business, of the best cuiality, and at very low prices. A good location for business, with a ow rent and light expenses, enables us to offer In ducements to buyers, and makes it worth their while to give us a trial. Philadelphia, 3. St f. NAVKS LAIIOB ! Waves Time ! SAVES 320XEY! AINRTCIIT & CO'S Labor-Saving Soap Will be found the best in use. With this Soap washing may be done with half the labor required when any other is used, and the saving in wear to clothes Is really astonishing. It will cost only Fif teen Cents to try it, and after that you will use no other. 09-For sale by all Grocers, and by F. Mortimer, New llloomlleld. Pa. 317 Worth its Weight in Gold ! T HIS is what everybody w ho has used it says of For Rheumatic Pains it will give Instant relief anil eliecta permanent cure in a short I, me. It is also Hie best remedy in the World lor Cuts, Sprains, Bruises and Burns, and not only giving prompt relief from pain, hut he.ils without leaving any sear. All who nave tried it, say no family should be without it, for it is worth its weight in gold. 9. Try a bottle of It! No cure, No Pay. 31" For sale at F. Mortimer's. JEXXSYLVAXI4 ELASTIC SPONGE CO. No. 1111 CHESTNUT STREET PHILADELPHIA. ELASTIC SPONCE, A Substitute for Curled Hair, FOll ALL UPHOLSTERY PURPOSES. It Is cheaper than feathers or haul and much superior, being the lightest softest and most elasliu material know n FOR MATTRESSES. TILLOWS, CARRIAGE, CAR, ANI) CHAIR CUSHIONS. Itislndestriutahle.fiec from dust, perfectly clean ami for the sick is uuequaled.iui if soiled it iseusily cleaned. IT DOES NOT PACK And is entirely free from Moth Person ore rotwstfil to examine the Cushion Sionte at Hut oice oj the coniuini, Feb 8tf -No. 1111 CHESTNUT STItEET, Hardware, c. LLOFD, SUPPLEE, & WALTON, WHOLESALE HARDWARE HOUSE, No. 62o Market Street, Philadelphia. loft WW DRY GOODS HOSIERY & NOTIONS John Shaffner, Jr. E. S. Zlegler. Theo. Rumel SIIAFFXEll, ZlEULEll & CO., Successors to SHAFFNER, Zl EG LER & CO., Importers and Dealers in Hosiery, (ilovos, SSihbons, Kusjeinlers, TUBE A D S , CO M JJ S, and every variety of TRIMMINGS a"fancy GOODS, No. 30, North Fourth Street, PHILADELPHIA, PA. Ayentsfor Lancaster Combs, BAHCROFT & CO., Importers ami Jobbers Of Staple and Fancy DRY - GOODS, Cloths, Cassimcrcs, Blankets, Linens, White Goods, Hosiery, &c, Nos. 4(i5 and 4(17 MARKET STREET, (Above Fourth, North Side,) H'hiiadelpSiia. Hoots, Shoes, Hats and Caps. F. 1). Miller. T. Riekert. C. II. Miller. MILLER, RICKERT & CO., SUCCESSORS to GRAYBILL & NEWCOMER, Manufacturers and Wholesale Dealers in HATS, CAPS, FURS, fgriSAW-BS, No. 313 North Third Street, 2cL Floor, PHILADELPHIA. 4 11 ly 10 V. F. KOS3LEK, JOBBER IX Hats, Caps, Furs, AND N t i : t w - O- o o 1 153 NORTH THIRD STREET, SOlylO PHILADELPHIA. W. W. Paul. D. J. Hoar. II. L. Hood. A. Trimble. WM. W. FAUL & CO. WHOLESALE BOOT AND SHOE WAREHOUSE, 623 Market St. and C14 Commerce Street, Philadelphia, Pcnn'a. MISCELLANEOUS. J-JRADBURVS AND OTHER millor tf Farley's and E. P. Nccdham it Son's 0B3AN3 AND MELODEOWS. WM. U. FISCHER, Ur.neral Mliolcmle. Afient, 1018 Arch Street and 21 North Eleventh Street, 3 42 Bill. PHILADELPHIA " The Rod Ilorso Powders" ARB rjMIE BEST POWDERS In tlje World for HORSES,. CATTLE,. HOGS, OR POULTRY. They will'not only prevent, hut will Curedlseases, and are the Cheapest, as well as the best Horse Powders in use. Try them. For sale by Stores and Druggists generally, and by F. Moktimuk, New Illooinlleld, Pa. 33utl TOBACCO SECARS &.C. W. B. METCALFE, AVITII James llusscl & Co., Wholesale Dealers it Tobacco and Cigars, JYo. 11, South rront Street, Philadelphia. 9W Agents for Celebrated Star Navy. 4 221y Thomas Ronn. . J. JIcConkey. ROBB & McCONKEY, oiiai3iii.sioii Merehants, And Wliole.salc Dealers in LEAF ANI) MANUFACTURED TQ8aCC0StSEGABS,&C, No. 13 North Tifth Street, (Between Market and Ar;:h,) PHILADELPHIA, PA. mm A. B. Cunningham. J. H. Lewars. J. S. Gleim. Cunningham, Gleim & Co., Wholesalf, Dealers in Tobacco, Scgars, fcc, NO. 4, NORTH FIFTH STREET, PIIIIiABlM.PIlIA. 310 GROCERIES AND PROVISIONS. Vrholesale Denlcrs in FISH, Cheese AND Provisions, 114 South Dclavuro Averinc, Below Clicslnnt St., PHILADELPHIA, PA. Agents for Collins, (ietldes & Go's fanned Fruits. lOlllf H. 15. TAYLOK, WITH WAINWRIGHT & CO. WHOLESALE GROCERS AND TEA DEALERS, North East Corner of 2nd and Arch Street?, Philadelphia Pa W. A. At wood. Isaac AV. Hawk. ATW00I), IJAXCK & CO., Coniiuissioii Merehanls, AND Wholesale Dealers in all kinds of Fleklud and Sal IP I S II , No. 210 North Wharves, above Race Street, 3 40 GlilO PHILADELPHIA, PA,. PATTERSON & MEWLIH, Wholesale diroeerN, AND COMMISSION MERCHANTS No. 120 ARCH STREET, Philadelphia. 9 The sale of Eggs, Seeds, Grain and Wool,, a specialty. 1'lease send for a Circular. 4 138 WHOLESALE ,S, 7 f3 GROCERS January 1, 18G9. fla?" Ilartl drinkinn- sittirnr mi n rnnlr and sipping cold water. fi Without Women tlin s-nrlil Tcnnlfl he in a bhil'tlcss condition. 5?" What tWO Sciences nrft omnln-rod by teiunsters in driving oxen '( anticul ture and 6'tology. JCSWlmt is the difference hntwnrn a printer and a tailor? The one works press, and tho other, presses work. SO"" Jo. Case, defines the exact height of a young lady's ambition to be two lit tle feet. EST " Isu't my shirt clean ?" quotli one ISohemian to another. " Well, yes," was the answer, " it's clean for brown,, but it's awful dirty for white." JCS"" A cruel man out West, sneaking of the singing nf tho village choir, cays. " It is like Unit wood, in a stream: it dr ngs on the bars, yet don't amount to a dam." J5:S"" Sure an' it wasn't poverty that drove me from the ould country," said Michael, the other day, " for my father had a yoke of oxen and a cow, and they gave milk the year round !. tfSv" A Philosopher says, if you want a pair of boots to la.st four years, melt and mix four ounces of mutton tallow, apply while warm, place the boots in a closet din to barefoot. JCS?" The question why printers do not succeed as well as brewers, is thus answered ; " Decausc printers work for the head, and brewers for 1 the stomach and where twenty have stomachs, but one has brains. JGSr "Tappa," said a small urchin with a mischicveous eve: " I sav. nanna ought the master to flog a fellar lor what he didn't do ?" " Certainly not my boy." " ell then he flogged me to-day when. I didn't do my sum." A little girl who was watching (he balloon ascension at Lewistown, Me., suddenly exclaimed; " Mamma, I shouldn't think God would like to have that mango up to. heaven alive." 2?" Tho following epitaph may be seen by any ono visiting the old grave yard at Hallowell, Me. : " ncre lies the body of Jones a poet, That is, hh thought bo, and tried to show it, But before ho made the world believe It, The devil called and he had to lcive it." JS3"Tt is asserted that there are so many children in Indiana named after Schuyler Colfax, that all the stone-cutters in the state keep gravestones on hand carved, " Sacred to the memory of Schuyler Colfax 'ready to insert the patronymic in the blank space- when the order is given after tho funeral. RfS" We heard a joke recently on two Portsmouth drummers; While passing a, house in Virginia, observing a very pe culiar chimney, unfinished, and it at tracting their attention they asked a flax en haired urchin standing in the house, if it, " drawed well," whereupon the aforsaid urchin gave them the stinging report : " Yes, it draws the attention of all tho d d fools that pass this road." As a steamboat was about to start from Cincinnati, one day, a young man came on board, leading a blushing damsel by the hand, and approaching the polite clerk, said in a suppressed voice. " I say, me and my wife has just got married, and I'm looking for accommo dations." "Looking for a berth?" hastily in quired the clerk, as ho passed tickets to another passenger. "A birth ! thunder and lightning no!" gasped the astonished man ; " wo hain't but just got married wo only want a place to stay all night, you know." CQ A country pedagogue had two pu pils, to ono of whom he was partial and to the other severe. One morning it happeued that these two boys were late and were called up to account for it. ' You must have heard the bell, boys; why did you not pome V ' Please, sir,' said the favorite, ' I was dreamin' that I was goiu' to Californy, and I thought the school bell was the steamboat bell, as I was goin' in.' Very well,' said the master glad-of any pretext to exeme his favorite. 5 And now, sir,' turning to the othor, what have you to say?' ' Please, sir,' said the puizled toy, 1 1 I waiting to see Tom off J,'