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The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, September 06, 1870, Image 3

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Ijc imc0, New Bloomftcttr, )a.
"Blees Patent"
Sowing Machine
Challenges tho World la rerfectiou of Work,
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4 2Sly-a
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'" ,vlIt T , MASL'ltY & WJIITUN,
Olobeilto Lead nnd Color Works, 111 Fulton
K'!Aliwlor,Kstabll5ll(!d 136. lleware of
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Cix r r i a c: c
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Slcigiis of every Style,
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rruiiavun? superior workmen, ho Is prepared
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S-llEFAlltING of all kinds neatly and prompt
ly done. A call Is solicited.
3 lit
A Story for Young Married Folks.
ton and Kato Sedley were going to
marry. Indeed, the parties most inter
ested made no secret of the matter. For
months, piles of snowy linen had been
steadily growing beneath Kate's nimble
hngers, and as for V ill, he was equally
And, for a marvel, most people seem
ed satisfied, and agreed in saying what a
good match it was, and what a fine cou
ple they would make. Kate was so neat
and industrious j not strictly beautiful,
but with that natural loveliness that youth
health, and a sweet and cheerful temper
give to every woman. And Will was a
steady, sensible young man, with aj stout
heart and broad shoulders, with which to
push his way in the world.
Ihcy both brought into this mutual
partnership, together with the wealth of
loving hearts and strong, helpful hands
a little of worldly gear. Will's consisted
ot a new and pretty cottage every stick
of which was laid with his own hands
for he was a house carpenter and every
room constructed with an eye to the com
fort and convenience of its expected mis
tress. Kate's dowry consisted of a few
hundred dollars, left her by an uncle, and
which was to bo hers at the age of eigh
teen, or on the eve of her marriage.
Kate thought tho best use to put the
money to would be to furnish the house,
and so go at once to kousckeeping, and
Will agreed with her.
Then came the all-important subject
of selections, for Kate had only a certain
amount, and was anxious to lay it out to
tho best advantage. She had neither
mother nor sister, but fortunately, Aunt
Sarah, a kind-hearted, sensible woman,
with no little experience in such matters
was on her annual visit to her brother's
house, and she determined to avail herself
of her counsel and assistance.
Tho old lady had been but a few days
in tho honsc, but her sharp, kindly eyes
had been sufficiently observing; so she
was not at all surprised when her ncice
said, with a slight blush.
" I'm going to be married next month
" So I judged, from the appearance of
things, my dear. And unless my old
eyes deceive me, you will have a good
" Will is one of the best and kindest
of men," returned Kate, with a pleased
and happy smile. " I only wish ho -was
sure of as good a wife. You know tho
money Uncle Eli left me ? Will has built
a beautiful little cottage, and I think of
furnishing it, so that then we can go di
rectly to housekeeping. And as I ehall
have to buy a good many articles, I
Bhould like your advice in arranging and
selecting them."
" I think your plan a very good one
niece, and shall be glad to give you any
assistance in my power. It will bo less
expensive than boarding, besides being
much plcasauter."
The next day Kato showed her aunt
over the house, which had just been
papered and blinded. The lower story
contained four rooms parlor, sitting
room, kitchen and wash-room and above
threo chambers.
They looked very pleasant and con
venient, and Aunt Sarah duly admired
them, to Kate's great satisfaction.
" I shall have enough to furnish it very
nicely," sho said, "and shall take so
much pleasure in selecting and arrang
ing it."
" You will have enough to make you
very comfortable, my dear," returned
Aunt Sarah, " but you must not count on
spending a great deal for outside show.
"Oh, no aunt; I intend to do with
things that are plain and inexpensive, un
til we can afford to have better. I think
we will go to Brown's first. I saw some
nice carpeting aud curtains there, that
will bo such a nice match for tho parlor
ana paper, ana very reasonablo they are,
too." .'
As they were walking along, Aunt
Sarah suggested that before purchasing
she make an inventory of what sho in
tended to get, together with tho price
.loiuis ivato agreeu, though she was
quito confident she hud ample means to
carry out the plan sho had lain down,
bo Kate began to select furuituro : first
for the parlor, then tho siting room,
then tho parlor chamber, jcdlng down
tho price ot each article. They then
went homo to dinner.
Aunt Sarah had promised to make out
a list of what kitchen furuituro sho would
need, and after dinner sho sat dowu to
rcaecui it. m the meantime, Kate at
her suggestion, began to add up tho long
row of figures that had been the result
of her morning's work. Her cheeks
flushed as she proceeded, and the result
seemed very unsatisfactory, for she went
over it twice.
Aunt Sarah noticed her perplexity.
" Ilow much will you have left for
your kitchen furniture 1"
" Three dollars nnd fifty cents !"
Tho old lady smiled.
" You will have enough to get a cou
ple of tin plates and half a dozen knives
and forks."
" I don't understand it. I thought I
had quite enough to furnish my house
" and so you have, my dear ; but in
your selection you have had ' your eye
more to show than to comfort. I con
cluded to let you have your own way,
but I knew very well how it would ter
minate, for you did not begin at tho right
" I don't know what you mean, aunt."
" Why, you should have begun with
the kitchon, and thus have secured the
things you must have. Then, if thcro
is anything left for the parlor, it could bo
easily got."
Kato looked aghast at the list of arti
cles handed her.
"Shall I need all those things, aunt?"
" If you wish to do your work well
and economically, you cannot get along
with less. Never stint the kitchen and
make a show in tho parlor."
" i aon t see that l shall have an'-
thing left for tlie parlor," said Kate,
after a few minute's calculation of tho fig
ures beforo her ; " the kitchen sitting-
room and chambers will take the entire
" And supposing it should remain un
furnished, at least for tho present?
Ihoso who come to see you will not ob
ject to be received in your sitting-room
and those who come to sec your furni
ture are not worth being received at all."
" But then it will look so odd; so diff
erent from what other people do. Mrs.
Weston has her parlor very nicely fur
Mrs. Weston was an old schoolmate
who had married a few weeks beforo.
" les, and I happcu to know how it
was paid for Mr. Weston mortgaged
his house : l persumo your Husband can
do the same."
Kate s natural good sense recoiled at
this suggestion. " I would rather never
havo any parlor," she exclaimed.
" Perhaps we can do with less sitting-
room furniture," she suggested, as she
ran her eye over the list of articles.
" I suppose that the sitting-room wil'
do the place wiicro you will spend your
evenings and most ot your spare time I
" Then take the advice of an old mar
ried woman, my dear, and make the room
in which your husband spends his evca
ing the pleasantcst room in the house.
Kato followed Aunt Sarah's advice and
never has had reason to regret it.
rive years later, Mr. ueston s mort
gaged house was sold under the hammer
and all his fine furniture with it.
Kate has now a very prettily furnished
parlor, and enjoys it none the less that
none of its ndornmcnts have been pur
chased at the expense of tho happiness
ot home and tho comlorts ot hie.
A Deceived Family.
A very pretty Oakland, Ilhodo Island
girl not over eighteen years of age,
orougnta suit ior breach ot promise
against a young merchant who had
changed his mind, and taken a richer
bride. The trial came on, and the girl's
mother, a lat, red iaced old dame, was
present to give moral effect to the rccita
of her daughter's wrongs. Tho counse!
for the plaintiff, in summing up declaim
ed at length, with moving pathos upon the
enormity of tho defendant's guilt in
creeping into tho bosom of this family
here tho old lady pinned her shaw.
closer , and deceivingaud disappointing
this young girl. Here the venerablo
mother could contain herself no lon:
but with gushing tears, exclaimed
" Ho deceived us all, gentlemen ! Me
aud all the rest we ami all the rest!
The effect was magical, but not just what
tho old lady expected.
W A story is told, illustrating how fast
cities are built in tho West, to tho effect
that a traveller laid down on a vacant lot
in Chicago to sleep, and in tho morning
found himself in tho collar, with a five
story building built over him. Occasion
ally you will (lud an old fogy who doubts
that story.
A Dutchman Attends nriculcaud Shooting
"TTEN VE get out py dat
garten bark
Y you vouldn t pclicve
vhero all dat
beeples vas come from. Dar ish vomans,
children and blcuty men beeples mitpoth;
cverypouy snust iook asn napby und ash
ight as a den cent paker s loat of pread.
On der dhird tay, in do nfdernoon, I
vas vatehen do mcmpers of dat Viladelfee
llifle Company ven all of dhcin ish
schcutzen at der darget porrd, trying to
knockon the bulls eye out. V hile 1 ish
a vatehen, I dinks it looks so easy to dako
a nice asm und knock der eye out of dat
darget, Do more I looks at desc fellers
mit dat scheutzen, do more I vas sure dat
could do dat. So I hunt ub dat Bresi-
dent Kolb do head mcmpcr of dat rifle
glub und I told him mine idoa. I dells
him ven he vants to done a favor mit mo,
ho vill allow me der briveilege of haben
shust one shot mit a gun at de darget
bull's eye poard. Ven he do dat I vould
po sadisfied. Veil, he axen me vedder
I pelongs mit any rillc clubs ; und ven
dells him no, he scratch his head und
plow his nose, und den dells mo I can
haben a shot. I den porrowed a rifle-
gun from one of der mempcrs, und puts
in him a pig load ot bowder, und right on
dop I dhrow in sieks musket palls.
1 do dat, so ven I schute off dat rifle
gun, der palls vill spread out, und one
of dhem must knock dat bull's eye out.
Afder I ish all readic, I stands ub at a
good vays from dat darget, und ven I
gits a nice aim, I pulls der driggcr, und
let fly. Mine gootness gracious ! dat rifle
gun vent pack on me, und kick me vorscs
den a shackasscs. I ish knocked over
packvards apout atecn feet right on mine
pack ; und ven I get3 ub, I find mine
arm ish done mit mine hole pody. Und
de vorst ding of it ish dat not a single
one of dem palls go mitin den feet of dat
darget poard. One shot liker dat vill last
me for apout a year. Mine arm ish now
tied up mit a sling, und bains me more
vorse den der doothake.
Badly Sold.
OT many days ago there was a rath
er " loud woman down here, says
the Capo May Wave, rich and vulgar,
swooping around with her daughter and
putting on more airs than you could grind
out of a hand organ. One man, who was
disgusted at the aristocratic pretensions
of the couple, thought he would have a
little fun at their expense. So one day
ho pointed out a good-looking fellow who
was passing the hotel, and mentioned to
the woman, in a sort of a careless off
hand way that the good-looking fellow
was a lord, who had just arrived in the
country and was stopping for a while at
Uape May. 1 his woman, you under
stand, wanted an introduction, so that sho
could set her daughter at work to rope in
tins scion ot a noblo house. Ihe stran
gcr was presented the next evening in tho
parlor ; and this designing being ot o
mamma, began to gush right over him
She kept on exclaiming how much she
had always admired tho English nobility,
and how much sho longed to see them in
their own beautiful homes ; and then she
asked this man if ho did not sometimes
long for his island home, and hate the
society of the vulgar Americans, and
sigh for his high-born campanions ! At
last tho man turned around and said sho
must have made a mistake ; he didn't care
a red cent for aristocracy ; ho had no is
land home, for he camo from Germany ;
and he had no high-born companions, uu
less somo of his friends were born in t
garret. So this woman rose right up and
pranced out to tho fellow who introduced
her to tho aristocrat, and sho said :
" Seo here ! I thought you said that
man was a lord !"
" So ho is was the reply ; "ho i3 the
land-oT(l of tho Dutch hotel, round tho
corner there. Nice man, isn't ho 1"
Walk On !
A traveler bound to a certain village,
passing by Aesop's, thus addressed him
" Can you tell mo how long it will take
mo to reach B 1
" Walk on," was tho laconio reply.
The traveller, not comprehending this
answer, repeated his question. Again
the reply was :
" Walk on."
Disgusted with his manner, tho travel
er did walk on, when suddenly Aesop ex
claimed :
"You will reach B in two
" And pray," retaliated the wanderer
" why did you not tell me before I?"
" How could I tell you beforo I had
seen your rate of walking ?" returned
Anecdote of Old Ironsides
FT! HE most brilliant naval action of the
X last war undoubtedly was that of tha
old American frigate Constitution, 4-4,
commanded by Commodore Stewart, whea
she captured the two British corvettes,
Cyane and Levant, of greatly superior
forco each of them being equal to tha
old-fashioned 32 gun frigates. The hand
ling of the A merican frigate was through
out scientific and unexceptional, by no
mancouvering could either of the British
vessels obtain a position to rake tho Con
stitution. Shift their ground as they
would, Old Ironsidoa was between them,
blazing away upon both vessels at tha
same time. During the whole action
Stewart, instead of mounting tho horse
block, sat in a more exposed situation
astride of the hammock nettings, the bet
ter to observe the manoeuvcring of hi3
antagonist. Cyano was the first to strike to
Brother Jonathan not an unusual thing
with British vessels during that war.
Tho first Lieutenant came in haste to the
Commodore to announce the fact.
" The starboard ship has struck, sir,"
said the officer.
" I know it, sir," replied the Commr
"The battle is just won."
" Shall I order the band to strike ut
Yankee Doodle, sir ?" inquired the lieu
tenant. Hero the Commodore took a huge
pinch of snuff and then answered quick-
" Had we not better whip the othe
first, sir ?"
" Ay, ay, sir," replied the lieutenant,
taking the hint, and went to his quar
ters. In a short time afterwards the Levant
lowered the cross of Old England to the
stars and stripes, and the battle was end
ed. The lieutenant feeling somewhat re
buked at his premature exultation upon
the surrender of the first vessel, was
rather shy of approaching his commaa
der again ; but Stewert, beckoning to
him said with a smile :
" Don't you think tho band had better
strike up Yankee Doodle now, sir ?"
In an instant that spirit-stirring strain
was floating in tho breeze, played as no
other than a l'ankeo band can play it,
and the gallant crew shouted forth their
cheers ol victory, as no other than a
Yankee crew can shout.
Little and Nothing of it.
Old Johnny McGill resided, during
the war, in East Teunessco. Guerrillas-,
representing both parties, kept it so warm
in that forsaken region that it was dan
gerous to belong to either side. McGill
had, in trying to rido both horses, gotten
several boot jackings from first the reb
els and then the Yankees. As all gueril
las dressed alike, ho made several mis
takes in trying to pass for either Union
or Southern, as he thonght would suit
the crowd. At last ho was overtaken bj
a party whoso politics ho couldn't even
guess at, and tho following dialogue en
sued :
" Sir, arc you a Union man ?"
" No sir," responded McGill.
" Are you a rebel then ?"
" No sir, I am not a rebel either."
" Then what in tho devil's name, are
you ?" roared the captain.
" Well, sir," hesitated McGill, " to tell
tho real truth, I'm nothing aud but
d d little of that !"
ltatlier Singular.
A young man who lost an arm in the
Eric City Pa. Iron works, a couplo of
weeks ago, still insists that ho feels pain
throughout the entire arm and fiugcra.
Some twenty-four hours after tho acci
dent, when the mutilated limb lay ia the
cellar, nearly beneath the bed where he
lay, he would tell when any one was
handling it, by the painful sensation he
felt. At one time a block was placed on
the fingers to keep them straightened out
and, although ho knew nothing of the
transaction, ho at onco contended that
something was pressing down his hand,
and insisted that it should be removed nt
once. After the block was removed ho
said ho felt easier, and was contented.
CW Thoro is an ccccntrio old man who
frequently delivers religious discourses to
the passengers on tho Jersey Ferry boats.
His latest freak is walking tho streets and
holding between tho linger and thumb of
his right hand a silver dollar, and exclaim
ing in stentorian toncH, "Oh, how we love
it, this root of all evil."
tA Couplo wcro recently married n
Coventry, New Hampshire, the lady boing
twelve years old and tho geutlomau four
teen. They aro now keeping house.

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