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"Bloos Patent" NOISELESS, LINK MOTION, LOCK-STITCH Sowing Machine Challenges the World in I'erfcction of Work, Strength uml Ilea t.v of Mitch, Durability of Con struction ami Kap.d ly of Motion. Call and exam ine, and fur Aj;enc os and Circulars, apply AT PI! I NCI PAL OFFICE, 623 Broadway, New York. 4 2Sly-a UHVT TV NEW.TU1NU, for gentlemen's urn uoonly. Sent by return mail on receipt of 30 cents Agents wanted everywhere. AddiiM-i, J Ml NKOK & CO., 4 31 Zu T. O. Box 32iil, N.Y. City. T,AF4TP3 The KwiENiBlstha most Useful ar jjxiiyj.jjsj tieleever invented for your use. Circulars free. Mis. Morgan, P. O. Box2-iaK,N.Y,Sm GENTLEMAN The (IliATiT ClOAH Til' is a novellv and a itleriiii-n Samples SO cents. A. Grant, P.O.Box 43ilU,N. V. 3m $1140 How I made it in 6 mos. with .stencils. Sample mailed dee. A.J.FuuM,N.Y.6m A GREAT OFFER. HORACE WATERS, No. 4S1 Iiroadway, New York "TTTlMi(Hspn'--p of One HuNDKCn Pianos, Mis W lopeons and Organs, of six first class ma kers, including ('bickering it (Sons, at extkrmki.y LOW l'UICES KOK CASH, IHiUINfl THIS MONTH, or Will take from V to ' monthly until paid. 1 17 ly a LONGEST ROOF In the United State is on Rinck's Sons' Factory Easton, l'a.,onc third of a mile long, and is cov- "ready roofing, CIIKA1", 1)1 .'UABLK and easily applied. Send for circular and samples to the manufacturers. BEADY KOUF1NU CO., 4 23 lya No. CI Courtland St. New York. tOBIXG'S DOLLAK BOX OF INITIALi;) FBEN'CH NOTE PAPER Mailed to you on receipt of $1. Address 1 mo 4 41a LOBINO, Publisher, Boston,Mass, COOO MEN WASTED 1 lOO PER CENT, profit, on three best tiling out. 60,000 club and combinat ion premiums to agents. Catalogue and terms free. Address lmo4 41a M. L. BYBN, 80 Cedar St., N. Y. listen to the Mocking Bird. The Prairie Whistle and Animal Imitator can be used by a child. It is made to imitate the song of every bird, the neigh of a horse and the bray of an ass, the grunt of a bog, birds, beasts and snakes enchanted and entrapped by it. Is used In Dan Bryant, Charley While and all the minstrels and warblers. Ventriloquism can be learned in three days by Its aid. Kent anywhere upon re ceipt of 10 cents; 3 for 25 cents; 7 for 50 cents: 15 for 81. Address T. W. VALENTINE, lmo 4 41a Box 372 Jersey City, N. J. $5 FIRST PREMIUM IMPROVED FAMILY $5 Sewing Machine. $12.50 clear profit per day. $75 per week. $300 ?ier month made easy by any UAy or gentleman introducing this Ceuuiaa and Original Old Favor ite. With Its many new and practical additions, making the most completa combination of valua ble and useful improvement ever effected In any one machine. The embodiment of extreme sim plicity, efliblency and utility, entirely different In model and design from any low priced machine. It is the most serviceable, elegaut and reliable Family Sewing Machine ever invented, gives per fect satisfaction wherever introduced. Has re ceived Premiums. Stood the test of ten years, and is fulls approved of by every family who have them in use. Is noiseless, makes the strong and beauti ful Elastic Lock Stitch, with wonderful rapidity and certainty. Sews anything a needle will go Muuugu, iiuin iiio uuest tu inn iuu:ivrb liiui iu,llllll and neat, with ease. Uses all kinds of silk or thread direct from the spool ; is improved with new and self-acting feed, spring tension, self-guldor, and uses the adjustable straight needle, perpen dicular motion, with powerful lever action. Pos sesses all the good qualities of the best high-priced machines condensed, without their complications or faults, Samples of sewing sent free on receipt of stamp. For certificate, &c, see Descriptive Famdlilets, mailed free. A thorough practical sewing machine for family use. 1'ribune. A very strong, reliable mackine, at a low price. standard. This beautiful sewing machine is one of the most Ingenious pieces of mechanism ever invented. Democrat, Ga. Worth many times its cost to any family. N. Y. Weekly. It is quite a new machine with Its many late Improvements, and sews with astonishing ease, rapidity and neatness. Hepxtit Uvan, N- Y. Single machines, as samples selected with care, for family use, with every thing com plete, sent to any part of the eounlry per express, packed in strong wooden box, free, on receipt of price, $500. Safe delivery of goods guaranteed. Forward cash by registered letter, or P. O. money -order, at our risk. Agents wanted, male or femalo everywhere. New panipelets containing extra liberal inducements, sent free. Address Family hewing Machine Co., Oflice 86 Nassau Street, New York. . i .1. .. 11 . . 1 . . . 1. ; I . ii ' . JAMES IB. CLARK, MANUFACTURER AND SEALKU IN Stoves, Tin and Sheet Iron Ware New Bloomfield, Perry co., Pa., KEEPS constantly on hand every article usually kept in a Itrst-class establishment. All the latest styles and most Improved Parlor and Itilclicu Ntovc, TO BCBN KITH KB COAL OB WOOD! WB. Spouting and Hoofing put up In the most durable manner and at reasonable prices. Call ud examine Ms slock. ,1 1 Use Dr. Frederick's Lightning lie lief. THE MEDICAL WONDER! C ures all Pains and Aches In from 1 to 10 Minute. JUT Sold by Druggists and Country Store Keep ersund V, MOKTIMEB & CO.. New Bloomfield, i'a Jt I. SINGElt & CO., Wholesale Ageuts, viewport, Perry County, Pa. raws so cents im Ml BOTTLE 441 SUNDAY READ ING. Only a Glass of Ilccr. 4 OME, ROBERT, take a glass of J beer only a glass of beer j for it cannot harm you." " 1 never drank a glass of beer life," was the low reply ; " I think not drink it." " Why, what harm will it do ?" said the temper. " Do you think in my I will glass of beer is agoing to kill you or make drunkard of you ? What a fool you are Robert Barnes? I think that you had better go around delivering temperance lectures." Robert could not bear ridicule, and he wished very much too keep on friendly terms with Mark Bently ; and so lie said ; "1 am not afraid to drink it, Mark, and to please you T will do so." lie drank the beer to please his friend, and also two or three more for tho same purpose ; but in a very few weeks he be gan to drink it to please himself. Ah ! it was a sad day when he first yielded to partake of " only n glass of beer." lie was hardly a man when he thus, yielded to the tempter's voice' and so, being young in years, he was easily led iuto sin and temptation. Soon he drank something stronger than beer, and in a short time nothing but rum would satisfy that terrible appetite. The eyes of Robert Barnes lost their gleam of truth and nobleness, his cheeks their rosy glow of health, and once noblo from its spright ly activencss. Alas ! for poor Robert Barnes. A year ago, I stood by an open grave, that was to be filled by a poor wretched drunkard one that had dicdiu his shame and misery. A weeping mother and aged father bent over that dark grave, and, as the sod and stones fell on the coffin, I heard the words, " Oh ! why did my boy not die in his infancy ?" and then the saddest groans I ever heard came from tho hearts of those parents. " l'oor boy !" I heard the father say, " ho died a drunk ard; but I never taught him to drink liquor ; for a drop of the deadly poison was never found in my house.' Oh 1 why did my noble Robert yield to the temp ter?" This was the end of Robert Barnes, and it was the " one glass of beer" that led him to ruin, lie died in tho prime of manhood, in consequence of drinking one glass of beer ;. for it awakened the tires of an appetite that never could be quenched. 1 sometimes wonder if Mark Bently fully comprehended what a deed ho did when he held the beer-glass to the lips of his victim. Perhaps ho does ; but still he tempts the weak ones of earth to drink tho awful poison, nud his own red glaring eyes betray the fact that ho is also on his way to ruin. " Only a glass of beer !" Bewaro, boys, and do not touch it any sooner than you would a crested serpent, for it is far -more dangerous. Do not for a moment listen to the voice that tells you that it aannot harm you ; for it may lead you to ruin, as it did poor Robert Barnes. Boys, never, never touch a glass of beer ! Spurgcon on Preaching aud Preachers. At the annual session of the Baptist Union at Cambridge, the other day, Mr. Spurgeon said : " I recommend every young minister to make preaching his first business, lhe pulpit is tho Ther mopylae of Christendom. Your people may grumble that you don't go about and drink as many cups of tea at their houses as they would like. If you give them good food on the Sabbath, they will put up with great deal. If the Sabbath joint is only a grim scrag of mutton, with plenty of divisions and nothing to divide (laughter), you will soon discover that your people will not be satisfied. In the next place do uot neglect visitation. It is true that I cannot visit my four thou sand' three hundred and fifty, members. But my visitation is done by my elders. Next let me say a word or two to the people. It is a remarkable fact that min isters of tho gospel are not able to live on much less than other people. Laugh ter. They cannot mako a shilling go as far as other people can make a sovereign. Some of them try very hard, but they do not succeed. A member once said to a minister who wanted a little more salary as his family increased : I did not know you preached for money." " No I don't," said tho minister. ' I thought you preached for souls." " So I do ; but I could not live on souls laugh ter , and if I could, it would take a good many the sise of yours to make a meal." Renewed laughter. ' teir We may desire, but cannot com mand success. Tho Dutchman gets Married. I RELIEF dat's so, vou vill pe trcad ful oxtonished ven you ish founded out vot I vas now going to dell mit you. I hardly didn't like to told you vot dis dings ish, on acgount dut maypo you vill dink I ish a largo pig fool, mit out no sense mit mine head, und also dat you vill nniken funny dings apout me, uud dalkcn right out pefore everypody of dat ; und, pesides, I dinks you vill laughen over me pehindniine pack ven you years about dat dings vhich I have done. So dat's do vay vhy I vas a drifle pashfull mit mincself, und don't liken to spcakeu mit you out quick apout dat, undill some odder fool pesides me, pegins to vhisper und dalkcn over it. Yell den I told you. Lasd Montag night dar ish a vedding dings dooken blaco py mine poarding haus. Veil I pe lief you dinks, vot's dat? Holt on a drifle, den you saw dat. Mit dat ved ding marriage mine lantlady, Mrs. Schmidt, vas in mit. Still dat's noding voutcrfull. Stop a lectle, den you know vot you vill know. Also dat's not every pody vot ish mit dat vedding. I ish dar. Yaw, dat's drue. But I von't pelief, if you dry a vhole huudrct years, dat you can guess who de doo becplcs ish dat dis vedding vas got ub for. l'esuro dat's so. Mrs. Schmidt vas one of de bartuurs in dat marriage ding, but who ish dat odder one? Dat's vherc de guessing ish vanted. One vouiin can't mako ub a vedding party alone py herself, mitout she vas got some help mit a bartner. Now dor ding ish, who vas dat bartner ? You know him ju.st so veil like a prudder. You can guess him out in dree minnutls, if you vas a lectle smart, but asli I don't pelief you can do it, I vill told you who dat vas. II I dell dat, und you makes apout some funny dings und laughen over him, I vill uothabon never somdings more to do mit you, und I dreat him ash a tisgraceful scountrel, no more fit for mine nodice. You know ven I speaks I say somedings; uud ven I vas mad, dat's no fooling mit mo. You know dat ish it? veil so dat's do vay mit me. I don't care. Dat man vot marry mit Mrs. Schmidt, or vot she marry mit veil dat's all de same in English ish named Now I dinkens you are getting readie to laughen mit me, Don't you do that. If dat is so, I get so mad ash I can got, und den veil you know how it is mit me, und I don't care. Veil den I speaks hira right out quick. Mrs. Schmidt gets married mit me, und I gets married mit with Mrs. Schmidt und dat's do vhole blain cir cumstances of the matder; und ven you can saw anyding fnnny mit dat to laughen over, you can't inshure ncidcr one of us. So ve don't care go ahead. Martha and Mary. COMMEND us to our good breth ren the clergy for anecdotes of pith and delicacy. . At the house of the late Dr. Archer, in London, there was a gath ering of friends, and among them Dr. Harris, author of " Mammon," and Dr. Philip, Maberly Chapel, anthor of " The Marthas," '" The Marys," etc. In the course of conversation the question was mooted, which was the most amiable of the two sisters of Bethany, Mary or Martha ? Dr. Archer replied : " I prefer Martha for tho unselfishness of her character, in being more ready to provide for tho comfort of her Lord than gratify herself." " Pray," rejoined Dr. Harris, address ing Dr. Philip, "what is your view? Which of the two do you think would have made tho best wife ?" ' Well, really," replied tho good man, " I'm at a loss ; though I daro say, were I making tho choice for myself, 1 believe I would prefer Mary." Dr Archer, turning to Dr. Harris, said, smartly, " Pray, Dr. Harris, which of tho two should you prefer." The author of " Mammon" was only for a moment disconcerted, aud replied, in a style, that set the tablo in a roar ; " Oh, I think I should choose Mrtha leoro dinner and Mary after it." Take any variety of grain, fruit, or potato, and give it a queer name, con coal its faults carefully, publish its vir tues liberally, and you may make a for tune out of a humbugged community. ' UaT" An English farmer by picking over his seed wheat with the utmost eare and planting a grain in a place, at inter vals of a feet each way, produced 162 bushels to the aero. Sleeping with the Landlord's Wife. WE give the annexed incident in re gard to Rev. Zeb. Twitchell, a Methodist minister, in full and regular standing, and a member of the Vermont Conference: At one time he represented Stockbidge in tho Legislature. Zeb., says our in formant is a man of fair talent both as a minister and a musician. In tho pulpit ho is grave, solemn, dignified, and a thor ough systematic sermonizer ; but out of it there is no man living more fond of fun and drollery. 'On one occasion, he was wending his way towards the seat of the annual conference of ministers in company with another clergyman. Pass ing a country inn, Zeb. remarked to the other : " Tho last time I stopped at that tav ern, I slept with the landlord's wife." In utter amazement his clerical friend wanted to know what he meant. " I mean just what I say," said Zeb., aud on went the two travelers in unbro ken silence, until they reached the con ference. In the early part of the session the conference sat with closed doors for the purpose of transacting some private busi ness, and especially for the annual exam ination of each member's private charac ter, or rather conduct, during the past year. Por the purpose, tho clerk called Zeb.'s name. " Does any one know aught against the character of Brother Twitchell dur ing the past year ?" asked the bishop, who was the presiding officer. After a moment's silence Jeb.'s travel ing companion aroso with a heavy heart and a grave countenance : he said he had a duty to perform one he owed to God, the church and himsclt; he must there' fore proceed to the discharge of it fear lessly, though tremblingly. He then re lated that Zeb. had told him while pass ing the tavern, that he had slept with the landlord's wife, etc. The grave body of men were struck as with a thunderbolt, ulthough a few smil ed first at Zeb. then at the presiding offi cer, knowingly, ior they knew better than the others the character of tho ac cursed. The bishop called upon brother T., and asked what he had to say in relation to such a serious charge, Zeb. rose and said : " I did the deed. I never lie !" Then pausing with awful seriousness, he proceeded with a slow and solemn do liberation : There is one little circumstance, which I think make the act justifiable, I did not mention to tho brother. It may not have much weight with the confer ence, but although it may be of trifling importance, I will state it. When I slept with the landlord's wife, as I told tho brother. I kept the tavern myself." Couldn't Spell. UTY)ESTICKS" says oa comins J down from a town that is sit uated " a small few of distance" up the Harlem railroad the other day, I was first annoyed, then amused, by the writhing antics of a green-looking chap who oc cupied a seat just in front of mo! lie observed closely every person that came in, scrutinized their dress, manners, style, and conversation, and seemed to solve all social problems to his satisfaction, until at last he began to take a strange and peculiar interest in those posts that are set up at tho approach of every station. These are painted white, and bear some of them the letter " W," others " R," that the engineer may " whistle" or " ring," us the case may bo for the warning of the station master. My verdant genius looked with ever in creasing curiosity at these mysterious posts. Town after town wa3 passed, station after station slipped by ; at every one he beheld the posts with cabalistio inscriptions ; he could iuako nothing of of them. At last curiosity overcame his bashfulness, and ho turned to mo and asked for an explanation of the puzzling hieroglyphics. I informed him, with all my customary politeness, that the letters were directions to the driver of the en gine when he reached the " W" post he was to whistle, while, as he was passing the " It" he was to ring. The anxious inquirer turned away with a muttered word of thauks, but present ly he turned to me and said : " Stranger, I s'pose you're right ; but blamed if I can understand it. I know that, 1 W-r-i-n-g' spells ' Ring,' but how ou can spell ' Whistle' with an R eats all my district schooling." I give this for a fact. jjWintl ildcrtuws. INGENIOUS WJp Ci:...'.;-JX What Is called " utiiil.nr H, n i...r.., , horse," In chanlm? tin) bjgl.inlii f words, la thus cleverly Illustrated : Oh I for some deep. noalu.Iid d-1, Where brick and mortar I'iim may e-ino : To sit down In a pot of grca in No, no I mean a grot of peace I I'd choose a home by Erin's wave, With not a sound to mar life's lot j I'd by the cannon have a shot No by the Shannon have a cot t How far that rocky isle around. That wide expanse to scan it o'er ; I lovea shiver with a rear No I mean a river with a shore I Boinantic Erin's sea-girt land, How sweet Willi one you love the moit ; To watch lhe cocks upon Cie roast No I mean the rock up.ui tho contl 'Twcre sweet at moonlight's my t!e hour, To wander forth where few frequent, And come upon a tipsy gent No, no I mean a gip-iy tent I Or, In your solitude to meet, Some long-lost friend, surprised and pleased, And ilnd you're by Ids sarsc pan grca;cd No I mean his grasped hand seized I In that retirement alone I would Pursue some rustic industry. And mako myself a boiling lea No, no I mean a toiling bee I Beneath a shadowy sycamore, How sweet to breathe love's vow, Your dear ono bitten by a sow No I mean sitting by a bough. A Ship Found in a California Desert. BY many it has been held as a theory that the Yuma desert was once an ocean bed. At intervals, pools of salt water have stood for awhile in the sur rounding waste of sand, disappearing only to rise again in the same or other local ities. A short time since one of the sa line lakes disappeared, and a party of In dians reported tho discovery of a ; big ship" left by the receding waves. A party of Americans at once proceeded to the spot, and found imbedded in tho sands the wreck of a largo vessel. Near ly one-third of the forward narrs nf Mm ship or bark is plainly visible. The stump of the bowsprit remains, and por tions of the timbers of to.il- nr norfnf The wreck is located forty miles north of CI T 1- . oan ncrnanaino and l-'ort Yuma road and thirty miles west of Los Palmos a well-known watering nlacG nn thn Wrf The road across the desert has been trav eled ior more than a hundred years. The history of the ill-fated course never be known, but the discovery of its decaying timbers in the midst of what has Ions been a desorr will ft..n;,i. savans with food for discussion, and may Pii,.iIl;Ii imnAl.,l .. ! 1 ' il , , . . " .uwiion .uipnaui, uiu m me calculations of science. The Garden of Eden. A traveler in the East writes that tho site of the Garden of Eden, is, according to tradition, located at the junction of tho Euphrates and Tigress at an Arab village called Kornch. Scattered along the banks are about two hundred houses, made of reed and thatch, whilo on tLo treme point, where the rivers meet, a shanty has been built for a telegraph sta- i.: i Ti f ,1 rt uuu ; n is says tiie UUureliman-wsome-what curious to think of toWrnnl. patches being sent to tho Garden of Edett and it removes a certain halo with' which our imagination has surrounded the spot. But modern progress has pen etrated those countries of tho East which have been m decay and they are doubt less destined to undergo a wonderful rc. urcction. Artesian Well in Nebraska. The labors of tho parties who have been boring for the last eighteen months in Lincoln, the capital city of Nebraska, for salt water, were crowned with success. At the depth of GOO feet below the' sur face, in a strata of sandstone, a lead to the great subterrauean sea of salt water was recently struck, and tho briny tor rent came struggling up nround the augur shot into the air some eight or ten feet. It has since flowed strongly and steadily, and with great force and in creasing strength, forming a briny rivu let. It is believed by experts who have seen tho flow, that when the augur is withdrawn and tubing inserted, a stream of water will be projected from the well to tho height of fifty feet making it tho most magnificent artesian well of salt water in the world, Pair There is a base ball club called " The Silont," at Iowa City, composed entirely of deaf mutes.