Newspaper Page Text
UNFINISHED TALES. litorl*** Thut Author* Ri>kIu nnd Flu«] It Iii.|)o*n1I>1<‘ to Flnl*li. '1 In' Inability of an aulbor to tliiish : piece uf work Ibaf lie lias engaged ti ilu anil lias nlreaily actually begun li nut sn very uncommon a thing. It h Kit III Unit Dickens began "The Mystery of Mil trill Brood” without any cleat conception in his mini] of how the story was golii* to turn out ami thill lmil lie lint illcil, leaving It uufllilslieil, lie woiihl have fouml almost any emlliig difficult to reconcile wltli certain hints i on(a 11 ieiI In the earlier chapters. We reineinher a rather curious iustancc of the same sort as having liajipeueil a gooil many years ago, when the elder Homier was editing the New York Hedger. A very Impecunious literary man sent In Homier the llrst chapters of a most exciting story which gave promise of being Just the sort of tiling which readers of The Hedger used to like. The story was accepted and run on un interruptedly and very successfully for about four weeks, when ail of a sudden the author's Invention gave out. For the life Ilf him he could not go on with the tale, and he had to go to Mr. Itoii ner nnd say so frankly. The next number of Tile Ledger ap peared without the expected Install incut of the story, but with a brief note to the effect that, owing to the sudden Illness of Its author, Its further publication was temporarily suspend 111. This was to give that embarrass ed person a chance to recover Ids In spiration. Mr. Bonner asked him to dinner, took him driving anil In vari ous ways tried to brace him up for further work, but it was of no use. He simply could not go oil, and so the rest of tile story never saw the light. New York t'ommerelal Advertiser. HE GOT THE INTERVIEW. \ Stor> of Amo* ( nmiuincN nntl See r«*tnr> of Siali- Seward. li was while Amos Cummings was the Washington correspondent of the New York Hun that lie had a memora ble interview with Lincoln's secretary of state, Howard. Cummings received orders one day to get certain iufortuu tlou from Secretary Seward without fall, and accordingly lie went to the secretary’s otllce to see him. Mr. Seward did not receive the newspaper man very cordially. "I won’t talk to a representative of The Hun on that subject,” said the sec retary. ”1 am very busy. You are taking up my time, young man, and I can’t be bothered with you.” In an Instant Cummings was boiling with auger and hurt pride. He drew himself up, looked the secretary straight In the eyes and said: ‘ You forget, sir, that there are three parties to this Interview.” "ThreeV" queried Seward in surprise. "How do you make that out?” “First, sir, there Is you, secretary of state and one of the foremost tigures In the world of men of the day; second, iUmi-m U the correspondent of the New' York Sun, who has come to you on a perfectly proper errand in the service of his newspaper, and, third, sir, there is an American citizen who considers himself the equal of any man on earth and who will not he Insulted by you or any man alive!” The great Seward looked at Cum mings and smiled. "Sit down,” he said, "and tell me exactly what you want, young man.” The Sun not only got the news It wanted, but also one of the best inter views with Howard ever published.— Saturday Kveiling Cost. Simplicity of Fail. "The funniest thing I ever saw or heard,” says Chauncey M. Pepew In Success, "was the lecture of Artoinus Ward, then quite unknown, on Mor mons, delivered at Albauy. The audi ence was fashionable, conservative and proper to a degree. Ward, discour aged, dually stopped and suhl, after one of his best things, which had met with no response, ‘There's a Joke.' Suddenly, the fun of the whole enter tatnment came like an avalanche. Tin audience began to titter, then to laugh, then to roar and at the end of 15 miu utes was posltlvel}’ In a hysterical con ditlon. It was an Illustration of tin psychology of association and seutl incut, precisely the same as that whleli produces panics, when there are m commercial troubles and no tluauclu! difficulties." John Mi v »• in i« n on III in m ** I f • A politician who was very near to Senator John Sherman In tin* campaign of 189- sitn i he will never forget the effect that the tlrwt kodak picture of himself had upon the senator. Mr. Sherman had been speaking the night before In the Academy of Music, Phil udclphlu, and the newspaper artists liud taken some lifelike snap shots of him in many attitudes. To the poll tlelau the senator said, upon lookiug over the new papers the following day: “Well, well, our time for criticising the newspaper men Is over. They have us to rights now. Here l am just as 1 am, and I’m a caricature of what l have always thought I was" Sutur da\ livening Post. U lull He l.o*t. The nervous commuter had ouc min ute In which to catch Ids train, lie Was hastenin' exceedingly when the vilest f a small boy smote upon his car. "lley, uib.ler’.’’ shouted the urchin. “Ycr’vo lost somcthlu!" '1 lu* commuter stopped and hastily count* • l his bundles. “What have 1 lost " he panted. "Why.” said the boy. “yei’xe lost that shine I put on yer shoes .visibly. “PII give yer another fur a nickel " Philadelphia Press. <urL* I'loat. “Phwas Ivory place covered in Noah’s flood, DlunyV’’ “All hut tli* city of Pork. lairry.” Chicago News. m«t»y Had No OrUvauer, “Where do you take command of the fleetV" a lady friend asked Dewey Just before he left for Manila. “At Hongkong,’’ he replied. After a silence the lady said: “Aren’t you aggrieved, In view of our possible trouble with Spain, over hi%ig ordered to the remote Asiatic station, which can hardly be In tin* picture lu case of war?” “Sailor’s luck!" refilled Dewey, “Moreover, 1 haven’t entertained griev ances for years." And then he added, evidently as an after thought, “Besides, you know, Bpain owns the Philippines."— Ladles’ Home Journal. _(6E3IJMB I CASTQRIA AVegctalilc Preparation lor As - sWnilating the Food andllcgula I'uig the Stomachs ami Dowels of PromoteaDigeslion.Chcerful nessafidlfesi.Contains neiUux Opium.'Morphine nor Mineral. MOT NAKCOTIC. Anti* or out Ik-SAMLIZrUUMJi J\uritJiut St*<£ ' 4/x .Usviu I ftotAit/* Sails - dinist S*td * Jhfrnmmmi /// CtMiarui&SmJu • fUrwfSetd - r/gnAad Sugar • hmiUtynmn tUnor / A perfect nemedy forConstipa lion. So ur.S tomac h. Diarrhoea. Worms .Convulsions.Feverish ness mid Loss or Sleep. Tat Simile “Signature of t NEW YORK. B EXACT COPT OF WRAPPED. ■ GASTORIA For Infanta and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears the » Signature of • The Kind You Have Always Bought. GASTORIA THI CtNTAUB COMMNV, NtW »OM CITV. Pennsylvania Raliroad. THE STANDARD RATI,WAT OK AMERICA. ! I’KOTFOTKD TlfHOlWIlOUT BY TIIK Interlocking Switch anil Block Signal Sjsle^ m:i.vidkiik Division. fraini fee S:u k .»r k ar.l /'ft If ad 4c t»n and after November 19,1899. Leave Manunka Chunk 7 22 and 9.67 a. in 12.27, 2 45 ami 5.20 |» in, Sunday, 7.22 a ni. Leave Bel flue re 7 ..'to and 10.04 am, 1? ’!, 2.51 ami 5 261* m. Sunday, 7 30 a in. Leave rhiHipahurg 7.12, K.Ou and in :i a m.I.iM*, 3 28 and 6.65 |i in, Sunday, 8.on a in. la ave Frem blown 7 17 an 1 It.*9 h rn, I 83, 3 56 : and 30 p ni. Sunday, K‘22 a. m. Leave l leiuliicton 7.15 a in, 12 36 and 8 56 pin i week-alaya. Arrive Lauit*erl ville 8.to a in, 1.25 ami I. 1 pm wrek-dayn. Leave l.amtiert ville 7.00, 8,22, 8.45 ami tl II a in.. 2.16. 4 3<» niul 7.00 p. in. Hiiuday8.45a.nl. Arrive Trenton V.35, S .'•* 9.09 a in, 12.17, 5.08 and 7.28 |> in. Sunday, 9.09 a in Arrive I'hlladelpliU (Keii»lm<lol») 9 17 a m. '!.3*2 4.54, 6.25, p W. ► umlay, 10.02 a in. Arrive Philadelphia (Broad Street Station) 8/ 10 on, lo.oi a in, 3.48, 6.00 ami 8 22 pm. Sunday, 10.01 am. Arrive New York, via Trentun, 9.23, lo ■ ’• and It 83 a ui, 2 13. I 53. 7.13 and 9.30 p in. Sunday 11.38 A HI. Trains from J'hiiadelphia ami New l'or/. Leave New York, Peabmaae* St . via Tri llion, M io, 11.00 a ni, l.oi), .( no, 4.50, and 6 00 | in Sun day 6.ini p in Curtlandt Street 8 <m), it.Oft am, l .< 0, 3.00, 4 I and 6 00 p in. Sunday* 6.00 p ui. Went 'Twenty-third Street station, 7.'5. 10 55 a in, 12 65,2.55, I 25 ami 5 55 p ui. Mundaf»,6.65 p ni. Leave Philadelphia (Kensington) 6,45,7.40, lo.ue | a u, 12.15.*2.50,4 HO and 6.14 p ui. week-day*. L' uve Philadelphia (Broad Street Station) 6 5 ; ami 9.U6 a hi. vimn »*»>..u, 2.30. 8.52, 5 on and 7.nv pm. Sunday, 7.02 p in. Leave 'Trenton 7.62, 9a 5 u ill, 1.00 3.27, 4.12, 5.50 mu) 7 53 p in Sunday, 7.68 p. in. Arrive Lambert ville 8.33, 10.20 a m, 1.37, 4.02, ,5.o7, 6 28 mid 8..’3 p in Sunday, 8.23 p in. Leave I.auihertville fur Fleuiiiigton 8 46 aiu,2.07 and 5 09 p m, week-days. Arrive Fleiuliigton *9.15 a ui, 2.62 uml 6.33 pm, week-day*. l.filYC I Mill III'I 1 V I I If IMI 1*1 ailUMBU « «.*•■• 10.20 a 111, 1.37, 5,o7 and 8 23 p in. Sunday, 8.23 p hi. For Phillipshurg and KunIou only 6.28 l> in week-days. la-ave Freuchtown 9 05, 10.47 a m,2 09. 5.30 and 3.49 p m week-days, 8 49 p in Sundays. For Phll lipsliuig and Fusion only, 7.02 p in. Arrive at Phlllipahurg 9.40 and 11.22 a. in., 2.42, r> 58, 7.00 and 9.20 ji. m. Sunday 9.20 p. in. lu-ave Phillipshurg 7.25,9.45 and 11.27 a in, 2.47 li.04 and 9.25 p in. Sunday. 9.25 p in. Arrive ltelvidere 7.58, 10.22 and 11.53 a in, 3.19 17.32,9.51 p in. Sunday,9.51 pm. Arrive Mauunka Chunk 8.05,10.80mid 11.59 am, 1.25, 6 38 and 9.58 p in. Sunday, 9.58 p in. Additional irains leave ltelvidere for Manunk* I hunk 7 oil and 9.30 a m, and 2.20 n ui. Sunday 7.00 a in. Returning, leave Mauunka t hunk for ltelvidere 8.25, 10.48 a Hi , 4 20, 6.40 and 10.00 p. HI. Sunday, 10.(81 p in. Freight or mixed trains having Mauunka Chuuk at 0 00 a m. ltelvidere ii.15 am, Marlin's Creek 6.35 a in. arriving l.ehlgh Junction 6.53 a m, will carry passengers and make stops at flag »ta Ilona north of Phillipshurg. Passengers for Itroad Street Station, Philadel phia, hv trains leaving Mauunka Chunk 7.22 a m daily and 12.27, 5.2 i p in week-days, and leaving I Phlllipshurg 8 1,0 a in daily,I .(Hi and 5.55p m week- j days go through without change at Tren ton. A through car lor Manuuka Chuuk is at tached to trains leaving Broad Street Station at 6.09, 9.06 a m, 12.00 noon, l ot ami 3 52, pin. By all other train* passengers to oi 11 mu Broad si. Slutlon change tars at Trenton. Connection It made at Mauunka Chun* with iWmn-, I.aekawanna A Western Railroad; L*w hlghJuucliou with l.th'gh Vail«y Lvhlgh A Sun auehauua ,Morris A Fas* x, and N-w Jersey Centra Railroads. At Lambert vllle with Fiemlngtou KaR road At Trenton with trains to aai from Ne: Turk,Camden, Ac. For further I uformation tee tima-Uhlae, whlel ma ha •bullied at me ticket oflkeee . J. R. WOOD, Oeneral Passenger Agent. j. it, uprt'iiiNsoN, tleneral Manager •THE BOOK OF THE YEAR.* “The Bow-legged Ghost and Other Stories,” il U C11 O 11 by America's IreateMt poet, amen Whit comb 1Uley. Au illustrated vol ume of original humorous ■ketches, verse, facetious para graphs anti col loquies. A book ihat will not disappoint the reader, as it suters a new and heretofore - unei piored Belli of humor. A book to be read aloud and aujoyed among When Kim Hang First Bass, 'Tho Man Who Couldn’t laugh, " ltwaihle Titlea of Futura Book*,” "Selling Locks of Hair." "No Woman, Nu Fad ” "Society Actresaea," ate., etc. Thla 11 rat •ditUm bound in cloth, printed on extm tln« paper, and ataolmeiy the beat humoroua book pub tehed. Worth $».(<), mailed postpaid for $1.0Q, truer at once. Send for our pew special illus trated catalogue mailed free, (Urea you the low tat priced on all good book*. Address all order* tc o the WERNER COMPANY, « fabllikara an* MauafaaWrara. AlcrOU, Olljq, ITUa Waauat Company UUwatughiy rrllaUa.)—Bdttuf. Uoa't Tobacco Spit nml Sui.ile ». *ir life Away. To quit tobacco easily r.n.i forever, be mug uctic. lull of life, nerve and \ i. take No-To Uac, the wonder-worker, that mulct, s weak met strong. All UiukkUia, We or tl Cureguarun teed Booklet unU aauiple free Addreai Sleeting Be mod y Co , Chicago or Naha Y$rfc AT THE “Larabertville Record” Office, WE I1AYK Sl'I'EUIOU EACILITIKH KOI; I'ltIN I'lNd AND ESTEd ALLY WHERE LA HOE Ql'ANTI TIES ARE WANTED! A first-elax-s Sti ri'n typing Machine en ables us to duplicate forms, and large of ders may therefore be quickly printed. Fine Printing, Bronze Work —AND — Work in Colored Ink is extensively done at this office toy-SALE 1111.t.S AND ALL OTHER WORK DONE IN A SATISFAC TORY MANNER Write for Prices, &c. .6*FECT* SCA; I AST FOWCVf n. M * STEEL TRUSSED L LV ; COPPER PLATE iV, • j .A UIN AT IO N KUlAM V.tVil OX C*r*lObUE r.:t JON tS OF Bl N<\H A »' »:.* uiNano tw roti. r. In Chancery of New Jcisey. TO EDO Alt M (lOlilU)N, ESQ Take notice, that by virtue nf nil order of tin1 Court of Chnncery of New .It rsey, made on the tiny <d tin* date hereof, in a cause, wherein kuna Gordon is petitioner and yon are defendant, you are required t<> appear, plead, answer or demur t<* the petition of said petitioner oil or before the Niniimmm I»\y «»r Jink next, or the said petition will be taken as confessed against you. The said petition is tiled by said petitioner for a divoree from yon, and you are made de fendant, because you are the hushaud of said petitioner hated April f itnm n s kPUL, Solicitor of Petitioner, I lemin ton. New dor* ey April itNki 1Anvi.no sending n sketch and description may quickly nseeriaiii ear opinion free whether an Invention is prohnhlv pat vu> table. rOBumtnlen, 11.ms strictly confidant lal. Handbook on Patents sent free, oldest agency for seeming patent*. I*,pent* taken through Muna A Cm receive ; without charge, in the Scientific American. \ h:-.T'J*«tm« Iv Ubmi rated wiVMr. 1 -rcost elr. Cdtul. m of .in . rctcntiH-- .loaned. 'IVitus, $ • a i lenr to o1 ti.etd !.o, f l. Sold t-y all newsdealer*. I f|2w York A FAIR FACE CANNOT ATONE FOR A UNTIDY HOUSE.” USE SAPOLIO Thomas C. Hill & Son, BAKERY, C0NFFCTI0NFRY1 LUNCH PARLOR. 11 BROAD STREET. THENTON. N. J. Wedding receptions, dinner* and lunches a I specially. Table ware to hire to responsible parties. First-class work only. Out-of-town ord- ' er* a specialty. Telephone connection. ‘JONES HE PAYS THE FREIGHT" 1sm ‘‘PERFECT" wacon scales. L'nlted States Standard. All Sizes. All Kinds. f.’nt made by a trust or controlled by a com jL.uUoo. For free llook and l'rlce List, address, JONES OF BINGHAMTON, * BINGHAMTON. N. V. THIS PAPER KISS Kr.wspfiper Artvertlflfng Bureau (10 8pruco ««^i|FWY0RK t/tt ifaSitln top it ii P.'flttWff 9 Wllav-A Keltsble persons of a mei hnnlcsl or Inventive mind desiring a trip tottie Purls Exposition, with good salary and expenses paid, should write Thu PATENT KECOKlt, ftaltiinorc, Mil. J. K. LaliAW, ft, • « r . VIVAV. - .'I • FUNERAL DIRECTOR, 63 N. Union StM Near York Ot., Lambrrtvitxr, N. .!. Night Bell on RKSimeNf-K Adjoining. llorae* and Carriage* furnished for funerals. Upholstering and Repairing of Furnltare. r,rlr"* eusran,"rd ._ m wi ■!— i———-— nr ~ . ■■ ■ ni■ i —a— W. ROUGHTON’S Steam Dyeing and Scouring! Establishment, 33 Swan St., Lambkrtville, N. J. Ladies’ and (lentlemen’s Wearing Apparel of ery dfncripl ion, from a Kid Glove to an Ovcr a!, i leatieil or dyed, and warranted to give saf factioo. April 7,1BS0. UKOKLK fc. FKTTEK, i>. v. .s'., m. />. r., VTERINARIAN. Graduate of the National nn<l Harvard Veteri nary Colleges. Also late 1 louse Surgeon of the Harvard Veterinary Hospital, Host on Ittofl1;;:::™.! } Hopewell, N.J JMegraph address,) L Oet.13 in, 1897-8 NOTICE TO CREDITORS. Estate of Martha M Naylor, J)eoeakei». . Pursuant to the orderof l’anl A. Queen,Huf^ rogate of the County of Hunterdon, made on tin* Twentieth day i March, A 1) , one thousand nine hundred, notice is hereby giv en to all persona having claims against the estate of Martha M Naylor, Into of the County of Hunterdon, deceased, to present the same, under oath or affirmation, to the ‘mbscriber. Administrator of said deceased, within nine months from the date of said order; and any creditor neglecting to bring in rind exhibit his <»r her claim (under oath or iffirmation), within the time so limited, will he forever barred of his or her action there for against tin'said Administrator. Dated March •.*«). A D . luuo HARRY A MONTGOMERY, Administrator. March 31, 1900. NOTICE TO CREDITORS. Estate of John Wkksh, Deceased. i’ursuant to the order of O. 11. Kpronl, “Surrogate of the County of Hunterdon, made .ii the Sixth day of November, A. J)., »ne thousand eight hundred and ninety nine, notice is hereby given to all persons having claims against the estate of John Welsh, late of the County of Hunterdon, de ceased, to present the same, under oath oraffir ination, to the snbgcrilier, Administrator of ■mid deceased, with incline months from the date ;»f said order: and any creditor neglecting to bring in and exhibit his or her claim (under ->ath or affirmation), within the time so limited, will be forever barred of his or her ict ion therefor against the said Administrator Dated Nov. A D. 1899. JAMES T. PETRIE, Administrator. November 15,1899. THE “NECESSARY” MAGAZINE The best-infuimed men and women In the world use the AMERICAN MONTHLY REVIEW OF REVIEWS to keep well informed, and call it the 11 necessary ” and “ indispensable ” magazine. In the busy rueh of to-day ambitious men and women must know about the important questions of the month, and not only this, they want to know about them at the right time. When the whole country is puzzled over the gigantic combination of trusts, a well-informed article Is printed In the AMERICAN MONTHLY, giving the facts, and its editor discusses the theory ; when the Dreyfus affair Is in everyone’s mouUl, the best story of Dreyfus and the great case comes out in this magazine. Every month, in " The Progress of the World,” Dr. Albert Shaw gives a comprehensive picture of the world’s history during the pre vious thirty days. In the departments, the valuable articles and books that have been published during the past montn ara reviewed and quoted from, so that the readers of the AMERICAN MONTHLY can get the gist of them. In every issue nearly a hundred pictures are printed, including the portraits of the men and women who are making the history of the month. -*► • To be thoroughly well informed helps any man or woman in his or her work. A subscription to the AMERICAN MONTHLY REVIEW OF REVIEWS represents an investment for the best kind of profit, as well as entertainment. One subscriber ha9 Just written : ‘‘Count me a life subscriber, and when you send me a number beyond the limit of my subscription and secure no renewal from me, consider it a uotice of ray death.” Price 25 cents per number, $2.50 a year. A sample copy will be sent on receipt often cents in stamps. THE REVIEW OF REVIEWS COMPANY ! 13 Astor Place New York An $8.00 Dictionary for $2.00 The New Werner Edition^ of Webster’s Dictionary. Newly and magnltlcently Illustrated. Wo oiler you the l>e«t dlethmjtry ever put un the market at a low prlee. This is au American lilctlonary of the English Lam guage, contalnlug the whole vocabulary of the dial edition, the entire corrections end improvements of the Second edition, lo which is prefixed an Introductory dts tertatlon on the btstory, origin, and con nections of the languages of Western abi* and Europe with an explanation of the principles on which languages nre formed this book contains every word that bosh Webster ever defined, and ihu following SPECIAL FEATURES: An At. fiendix uf 10,non words, Pronouncing Vo abulary of Scripture names. Greek and i I atin Proper Names, Modern Geographical tiamea, lilctlonary of Antonyms and Syu nnyins, Dictionary of Familiar Allusions lexicon of Foreign Phrases, Dictionary of Abbreviations, etc., etc , together with 4 BEAUTIFUL COLORED PLATES, show ing In their actual colors the Flags of the Various Nations, US. Naval KlagsJ'llot Sig. ualaof Various Nations,'Yacht nubSIgnsis, and Shoulder strata for Officers. THIS IS HOT THE CHEAP BOOK hut a beam* fully primed edition on tine paper with thnnuniU nf ml uni.In n.i.iiti, ...4 ... . << . . I ublishers and Manufacturers. AKRON OHIO lThe Werner Company is thoroughly reliable.}—Editor. * * TRADESMAN: 1* THIS NBWRMtR ( CIRCULATES IN THE HOM^ j or PEOPLE DlMN(f the- j KIND or (500DI) Tbu Mfi/ | I MA\/b TO SELL. \ MORAL: 5 INVITE MM TO yourStore ; $500 I Ml I We pay the above reward for any case of Liver Complaint, Dyspepsia, Sick Headache, Indigestion, Constipation or Costiveness we cannot cure with Liverita, The Up-to-Dafe Little Liver Pill They are purely Vegetable and never fail to give satisfaction. 25c boxes contain 100 Pills, 10c boxes contain 40 Pills, 5c boxes contain 15 Pills. Beware of substitutions and imitations. Sent by mail. Stamps taken. Nervita Medical Co., Corner Clinton and Jackson Sts., Chicago, Illinois. For sale by UKO. M. SIIAMALIA, Pharmacist, BRIDGE ST., LAMBKRTVILLE. DUE TO A GRAMOPHONE. HELP TO A BASHFUL MAN. “Well, well, ray boy, wliat Is th* matter with you of late? You are not your real self, because you are uot half as jolly as you are accustomed to be. Perhaps you are not well, or - excuse me If 1 am too abrupt—you might he In love.” The speaker was a tall, good ma tured, futhci ly looking old gent. lie was sitting In an old fashioned urm ebair, his elbows on his knees, and his chin resting In the palms of his hands. Ills nephew, Harold Martin, was sitting opposite the old man, and from all appearances one would thluk. as did his uneLt, that he was not In the best of health, but ns we shall later perceive, he was not physically In jured, but Cupid had made Its appear ance. “Well, Uncle Jack, seeing that yon have struck It right, 1 will be frank with you. The fact Is 1 am In love, and ah, uncle, she is u dream. 1 can uot describe her in words, but one thlug I am sure of, and that is 1 love her, and I am quite sure she returns m.v affections.” "Why not marry, toon,” said her un cle, "if she loves you and you love her? Wliat Is It that stands between?” "It Is the simple reason that 1 do no know how to ask her to he my bet let half.” "Ha. ha!" laughed the old man, fall ing hack in his chair and letting the pipe which he had been smoking fall lo '.lie floor. "Thut reminds me of when l was a bashful youth of uliotit your age. 1, too, was in love. She was not u dream, however, as you describe her, hut one who would mnke any mnn happy. tie mm uecn Keeping company ror two years, ami at the etui of that time 1 thought 1 would learn my fate. "It was ulmut two weeks La-fo^e inj twentieth birthday, ami mother busy prepnrlug a reception which was to celebrate the occasion. ur course my lady love was to he present ami I had determined on that night to have a decided answer. As I said be fore, I was bashful and did not know bow to present myself, so In the after noon of the eventful day I Went In tlie pnrlor to rehearse wliat I would say to her that evening so as not to be clumsy. Well, I had my rehears al all right, and thought myself pre pared. "It was early In the evening and many guests had arrived, among them ray Indy love. They were In the recep tion room looking at some plants which mother had brought from abroad. While they were thus engaged l went to I’enrl (that was her name), and after receiving her congratula tions anil many happy returns of the day I escorted her to the parlor to see my presents. "Well, we were laughing and enjoy ing ourselves, such as lovers do, when suddenly her eyes brightened, anil go ing to a corner of the room, she ex claimed: “Oh. Jack, do make this in strument talk. I'd Just love to hear It’ “1 went to where she was starting and tliero In the corner was a granite opbone. I hail not seen It before, bat as 1 afterward learned, it was a pres ent from a friend, and mother had put It there that morning so ns to surprise me. “1 fixed It so that It wei'M talk and We sat down to be on term • I. Von o»n imagine the plight 1 v.in, boy, when It repeated word a'u- word tlio rehearsal 1 bad that afternoon. Ureal ns was my astonishment, It was noth ing compared with Pearl's. Well, boy, I will not go Into particulars, and to make n long story short we were mar ried shortly after and a happier eon pie never lived." \\ hetlior Harold followed Ids uncle's method of proposal or not It Is hard to say, hut nevertheless lie was ace. id l'd, because one month later the mar rhtge of Miss Vera Stapleton to Mr. Harold Martin was announced, anil soon after the wedding took place. Many valuable presents were lavished upon the pair, nmoug them Uncle Jack's grnpbophonc. Brigands in the Causasus. The Russian government lias at last adopted wliat promises to bo nu ef fective measure for suppressing the lawless bands of rubers who have for years past held various districts of the Caucasus Iu a state of terror. Some two years ago the military au thorities at Tiills came to the succor of the people by distributing arms and ammunition among them; iu many Instances machine guns were furnished to the chiefs of mountain villages and Isolated ettlcments iu the plains. For n time the raiding ban ditti suffered severe losses, but by or ganizing regular pitched battles against the villagers and settlers they again got the upper hand. A tody of ff.ffOO military and mounted police, all picked men, has now been orgaulzed for the special purpose of exterminat es Hie pest, which Is particularly prevalent in the two governments of Kulals and Kars. No quarter will be shown to the brigands offering resis tance, amt those taken prisoner will be tried by court martial aud shot or Imaged offhand. Ice Plants. In the dry South African region where every green thing gets nibbled down in the rainless season certain lee plants and milkweeds have the trick of forming tubers or stems exact ly like lb.' pebbles among which they ! grow, so that when the leaves die down In the dry weather the tubers are not to he seen apart from the stones. These tubers carry tbs plant over till the next rainy season. 1 THE HEARTS MEMORY. - U A 8TORY OF A KING’8 LOVE. The kingdom was In desolation. The young King, since he had lost his wife gave no attention to the affairs of state, but spent bis days and nights weeping before n portrait of the dear one. This portrait was the work of his own baud, lie had learned to paint for the express purpose of executing It. One day he flew into a towering rage and threatened to kill one of his elmmberlaius who had dared to hiut that the deepest grief should not be eternal and that It would be well for blin to think of marrying some young girl- the niece of an Emperor or daughter of u peasant, as he might choose. “Monster!” cried the Inconsolable widower, "do you venture to advise me so basely? Would you wish uiu to lie unfaithful to the best of Queens? Out of my sight or I will slay you with my own baud! Hut before you go learn this and make it known to all — no woman will ever seat herself up on my throne unless she Is. In every particular, like the wife I have losL" And well he knew that In saying this lie risked nothing. As she still lived In her frame of gold dead, alas! — tlie Queen was so perfectly beauti ful that, search the world over, tier equal could not be found. She was a brunette, with long, glis tening hair, flowing down like liquid ebony, forehead a little high and of rich ivory tint, eyes deep and black as night and lips parted In a smile which displayed all her teeth. Many mouths slipped away—more than a year—without hrlugiiig any change for the better In the sad stale of affairs. Once, however,—It was ut the hour when the dawn paints the windows with rose and blue—he turned toward the window, listening to tho song of a passerby a song, airy and flesh, pretty and clear us the thrill of a lark. lie stepped torward, astonished, pressed Ids forehead against the glass and looked out. A cry of delight al most escaped him. lie had never In his life seen any thing so charming as that little shep herdess leading her flock to the mead ow. She was a blonde, her hair so gold en that It seemed to lend new bright ness to the sunshine rather than to 110now lustre from tt. She liud u forehead a little low and pink ns n rose, luminous eyes, bright as the morning, and a smiling mouth so small that even when her lips part ed as site sang they revealed only Uve or six little pearls. The next day, In admiring the por trait the King received n painful sur nrlcn He thought a moment uud said to himself: "This Is very strange. It must he that the hall is damp that the air we breathe Is not good for paintings. For I remember perfectly that my Queen's hair was not so dark ns it looks now. No. surely, It was not black like liquid ebony. It shone here aud there with the tints of the morn ing, not of the night.” He called for tils brushes uud pal ette. and hurriedly corrected the por trait, which had been so injured by the dampness. "There! Behold now the golden hair which 1 loved so desperate ly. which I will always love!" Three days later he was compelled to acknowledge that the picture had again suffered great deterioration. Why was tlint forehead, like amber Ivory, so high? He had n good memo ry, thanks to (Jod! He was sure that the Queen lmd a low brow, rosy and fresh as the wild rose. With a few strokes of his brush he brought the golden nlr lower and tinted the brown a clear pink. And his heart was full of an luflnitc tenderness as he gazed upon the picture thus restored. But the day following matters wore still worst-. It was evident that the eyes aud mouth of the pictured face Uud been changed hy some accident or some mysterious power. Ills daillng hail never had those dark eyes, black as the night, nor that mouth, which opened to as to show’ nearly all of her teeth. No! On the contrary, the blue of the morning sky could not equal the azure of the eyes which sweetly lookad upon her love, aud as to her mouth, it was so small that even when opened to slug or for a kiss It disclosed only a few little pearls. l'or an Instant lie could have des troyed and cast at his feet the lying image. But a second thought con trolled lilm and ha grew calm again as he reflected that the Injury could be repaired. Instantly he set himself earnestly nt his task. His brush was guided by his faithful memories and a few hours later there smiled from the canvas a young girl, with' eyes as blue as the distant sky and a mouth so small that, If it had been a flower, It would hard ly have held three drops of dew. The King looked upon his work In a painful ecstasy. “It Is she! Ah, It Is really she!" he breathed. And, quite naturally, he had no ob jections to offer when one day the chamberlain—who had taken observa tions through the keyhole—advised him to take for his wife a little shep herdess, who passed the palace every uinrulug singing a song. Surely, why not? Kor she resembled In every particular—except that she was. perhaps, a little prettier—tha portrait of the beautiful Queen.—Cor nell Magazine. Two hundred tbonsand families. It has been calculated, are living lu Lon don oa about <9 a week The culprit Is not a court fixture; M’e just on trial. THE WIT. Henry—Of course, it is no business of mine, but since you have changed doctors the neighbors have noticed that your wife has been constantly growing w’orse. Slapford—I know, but then this phy sician is ever so much cheaper than the other one.—Boston Transcript. "What a pity," said the first germ as he clung frantically to a window sash as they went around a curve, "that in sleeping cars we have no op portunities." "Isn't it," said his companion des pondently, "a great field if only we had air enough to get about in."—Life. Mrs. Kiddlet—Why. children, what’s all this noise about? Little Jamie—We've had gran'pa and Uncle Henry locked up in the cupboard for an hour, an* when they get a little angrier I’m going to play "going into the lions' cage."—Tid Bits. Pedagogue (severely)—Now, sir, for the last time, what’s the square of the hypothenuse of a right-angled triangle equivalent to? Boy (desperately)—It's equivalent to a lickin' tor me, sir. Go ^head.—Boston Traveler. "I am going to take a little run out west." said a Kansas man to an ac quaintance. "Colorado or California?’’ inquired the acquaintance. "Neither," scornfully replied the Kansas man, "Manila."—Kansas City Journal. "Pat." paid his young wife, "I wish you wouldn’t put your knife in your mouth when you eat." “An’ phere would ye* hev me put it." said Pat in astonishment—"in me eyes?"—Hurper’s Baser. Vaudeville manager—I am going to leave my money to an Institute for the feeble-minded. Legitimate manager—Same kind you are running now?—Indianapolis Journal. First Guatemalan—She comes of an old family, I believe. Second Guatemalan—Not very. She s a Daughter of the Last Revolution but Two. or Three at the outside —Detroit Journal. "Have you been Interviewed recent ly?" inquired the friend. The man of International eminence looked a little hurt and then wearily inquired: "How can I tell?"—Washington Star. Tramp—I ain’t had er bite fer free days. Jes’ ben livin’ on wind. Unsympathetic citizen—Well, why don’t you go out west where there's plenty of It?—Ohio State Journal. The kid—Say, mister, kin I have de apples wot's on de ground? The farmer—They ain't none on th* ground. The kid—I’ll fix that all tight.—New York Evening Journal. Lady of the house (to peddler)—It you do not go away I'll w histle for the dog. Pushing peddler—Then let me sell you a whistle, mum.—Tit-Bits. THE CYNIC. It requires a cool huml to de.i.vr Ice. Some men are known l>y the company they don't keep. The chimney Is one of the few smok ers that Is easily sooted. Women are usually In a hopeless ma jority at the summer resorts. The seventeen year locusts should come under the head of time dies. Man once ate the cream, but now they cremate the man. To the deaf and dumb man actions speak louder than words. In the game of life the one armed man always plays a lone hand. There Is no sympathy between a proud mind and a beggar's purse. The sexton makes a grave mlstaks when he digs It In the wrong lot. Always pay your milkman spot rash. Never request him to "chalk It up." Beauty Is nature's first gift to wo man. and It Is the first one she loses. The man who does’nt put his hand to tire plow will get none of the plow shares. The man who is shadowed Is apt to have a good deal of light east on hit character. A good housewife never wastes good bread by trying to transform It Into bread pudding. A physician practices on his own pa tients; an amateur musician practice* on the patience of others. Large heads do not always indicate genius. Too often they are monuments of the previous night's foolishness. The young man who can take a pret ty girl for a sail and content himself with hugging the shore has wonderful self-control.—Chicago News. Minimum and Maximum of Sleep. "The old rule of eight houra' sleep Is sheer nonsense." said a New Or leans physician, chatting after office hours. "Natural sleep is something that can’t be regulated by any formula. The body takes w hat It needs, be It much or little, and the necessary amount varies with the Individual. In n general way 1 would say that four hours Is the minimum and ten hours Ihe maximum for people In fair health. Either more or less Is a pretty sure sign that something Is out of gear— usually something in tha brain. I have two patients who sleep only four hours, and keep In tolerable good con dition. Both are middle-aged men and neither of them work very hard. They are simply so constituted that nature can repair its losses In four hours of unconsciousness. In many other peo ple nearly three times as long Is re quired; the nerve cells work more ■lowly—why, nobody knows. The queerest case that ever came under my personal observation was that of n bookkeeper, who used to sleep two or throe hours a night through the week, and on Sunday would catch up In a twenty-four hour nap. "That Is no exaggeration, but an ac tual fact, well known to all hie inti mates. He seems to be able to store away nervous energy as a camel stores water. His general health dur ing the twelve or fifteen years 1 have known him was excellent, but ho final ly died from an attack of pneumonia. All the lower form of animal life re quires more sleep than man, with one exception, and that Is the ant. Aa far as we know, the ant doesn't sleep at all.”—New Orleans TImes-Democrat. Sebastian, a big black cat owned by a Cumberland (Md.) woman, wears a diamond earring in each ear. Tough Enough. "Oh, Henry, don't cut your pie with a knife." "Well, Eliza, you ought to be thank ful I don't call for a can opener."—Chi cago Record. Of the Canvas back Variety. Nell (at the football game)—Chollie Dropktck la a perfect duck. Belle—Yea; a sort of canvasback on the gridiron.—Philadelphia Record. Not Particular. "She does all her own cooking, but she says her husband baa the appetite of a bird." "Goodness she must mean an a* tricb."—Philadelphia Bulletin. A Fraction. "What Is a fraction?” "A part of anything, sor.” "Give me an example" The slTinth of June."—Melbourne Times.