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THIRTY-SECOND YEAR. WHOLE NO. 1696 THIS IS THE TIME TO GET Best Values in SPRING CLOTHING OUR stocks are now most complete and we can offer you an unprecedented assortment of the latest styles in light OVERCOATS, SACK SUITS -AND TROUSERS at prices which seem almost too good to be true. You are absolutely assured of getting not only the highest class materials and tailoring, but faultless fashions. Remem ber that “good things” in Spring Suits go faster than “good things” on Spring tracks. Don't let the other fellows take away the , best by getting their money down first. MEN'S SACK SUITS FOR SPRING mule of the latest approved patterns in tweeds (fin AA 4/\ (P/IQ AA cheviots and worsteds. These are the most tpD«vw IU tPlOiUU stylish Sack Suits we know of. In single and double-breasted models. Coats made with broad, athletic shoulders, perfectly ft tting, yet loose and easy in hang. Fashionable straight fronts; collars and lapels beautifully moulded. LOOK OVER OUR ATTRACTIVE DISPLAY of new Spring Shirts, Neckties, Belts, Hosiery and general Haberdashery at attractive prices. JOHN R. TREWIN, CLOTHING. HATS, SHOES. FURNISHINGS FOR MEN AND BOYS Corner Union and Coryell Streets, Lambertville, N. J. A FEW OLD STYLE Perry Spring Harrows, UKS|' HARROWS IN EXISTENCE. L. Spike Harrows, Land Rollers, ...Corn Planters, Weeders, &c. Walking and Gang Plows. Ont> man wit'i a Gang will plow 4 or ri acre, par day ) and tin it Rcttor. ! Fertilizers from $15.00 to $32.00. f^rCORX FERTILIZER $20. Feed of all kinds, Repairs a speciality. BARTON HUFFMAN. RINGOES N. J. 21 llridge St., Lainbertvillc, Saturdays. 4-2T, •(15. ^LBERT 1). ANDERSON, ('ounselor-at-Laic, Solicitor, Master in Chancery and Notary Public. Office—88 Bridge street, Lambertville, N. .T. YY’ ALTER F. HAYHURST, Counsellor-at-Law, .Solicitor, Master in Chancery and Notary Public. No. .'ll North Union street, Lambertville, N. J. jjli CHARLES H. FALLON, DENTIST, OFFICE COR. UNION and ( ORYELL STS, (Second Ploor.) P W. LAIUSON, Physician and Saif/t on, t orn* r Main and Jf ffi rson xtvet tx, Lamltrrtvilh\ A. */. LAW OFFICE OF OLIVER I. BLACKWELL, Estates, Loans, Real Estate, Col lections, Conveyancing. Corner Union and Bridge Sts., SEW BASK BUILDING LAMBERTVILLE, n. j. W. p. THORNTON, RUBBER STAMPS, 40 BUTTONWOOD STREET, Dealer in fine T’.ubber Printing Stamp*, Wax Seals, Seal Presses, Burning Brands _ andfBtencfl*. Catalogue for the asking- al-r3’ CASTORXA. Bear, the ef T!ie Kind Y33 Ha,e *lwaIS B«# rr JOHN K. LABAW, FUNERAL DIRECTOR and VPUOLSTEKER. All kimln of furniture repaired. Work and prices guaranteed to give satisfation. Niglit Bell on ofllee door. J. K. LABAW, No. fl:i.North Union street, Lambertville, N. J. BLACKWELL’S -Insurance Agency (Successor to late Geo. M. Holcomde, dec’d), SOLLIDAY BUILDING, CORNER OK BRIDGE AND UNION STREETS, LA >1 BERT VILLK, N. J. Horn**, Sun. Plicenix Assurance, New Hamp shire, Liverpool and London ami Globe, Hartford. standard. National, Fire Asso ciation. Phoenix. Queen, North British and Merchantile, Caledonian, Fireman’s Fund, Spring Garden, Hanover, Phenix, New Y t»rk Underwriters. Niagara. All safe and reliable companies, licensed ami approved by the ('ommisHioner of Hanking and In surance of the Mate of New Jersey. Los ses paid promptly. Hates are reasonable. You cannot afford to take the risk, when some one else is willing to carry it at small cost. Are your buildings insured ? Nave you a poli cy on your furniture ? Do not wait until after the tire. REAL ESTATE FOR SALE. Two Large Manufacturing Plants with power. Eleven-room House, corner Jefferson ami Clinton streets. Seven-room House corner Delevan and George streets. Seven-room House, on Dele van street, be tween George and Union Htreets. Three seven-room Houses on Elm street Eight-room House, Buttonwood street Eight-room Hotue,Clinfon street. Two new Houses, Delaware avenue. All im impovements. Seven-room House, Y'ork street. Seven-room houss. Lambert street. Six-room House Union street, below Ferry, Large Double Brick House. Coryell street. Several desirable farms for sale near Lam bertville containing from 30 to ISO acres. Three lots near Lambertville. MONEY WANTED. •2,000, #1.900, $1/j00. $1,200. #600. $200 -all first mortgages on city propeity and desirable in vestments. Money to loau in large amounts on irn proved Real Estate. Office open evenings 7 to 8 o’clock. Lock Box 164, O .L BLACKWELL. E. H. HOLCOMBE, Real Estate and Insurance Office, No. 51 North Union St. Real Estate Bought, Sold and Exchanged. I t First class Fire Insurance at Reasonable Rates. Agent tor Est. of Geo. M. Holcombe, dee d. Bargains for Investors or home buyers on easy terms to close estate. WHY PAY I^ENT when you ran liny one ol those new 3-story 10-room bricks, with all improvements, including laundry tubs, lor $500, balance on easy terms, on S. Hermitage Ave., near State St.; will be open to-day from 2 o'clock till 5 F. M. Also building lots for sale on Stuyvesant Ave., on the installment plan; fto down and $10 per month. W. 12. STEWART, 62 S. Hermitage Ave.. Trenton Inter State idiom* 9H0.V Rubber Goods are an indispensable arti cle of the household. I lot Water Bottles, lee Bags, Syringes, hard and soft rubhber, Combs, Brushes, Sponges, Tub ing, Etc., arc in great de mand and always useful. We carry a large stock of these goods and sell them at prices to suit t he times. E. W. CLOSSON, MAIN ST. Pll A I! MACl, COH. MAIN AND CHURCH STS. Lamukktvillk, N. J. A full line of Pure OriiKH and ChemieaK ThomasC.Hill&Son, BAKERY, Confectionery & Lunch Parlor ii Broad Street, TRENTON, N. .7. Wedding reception*, dinnora and lunohea a apocialty. Table ware to hire to r' apoimildi' Perth's. Firat-clAMH work only. Ont-of-town orders a specialty. < W ** INTERESTING INSTRUCTIVE “Correct English, How to use it.” A MONTHLY MAGAZINE DEVOTED TO THE USE OF ENGLISH. Josephine Turck Baker. coitoa. Partial Contents for this Month Course in English for the Beginner. Course in English for the Advanced Pupil. Howto Increase One’s Vocabulary. The Art of Conversation. Should and Would: How to use T hem. Pronunciations (Century Dictionary). Correct English in the Home. Correct English in the School. What to Say and What Not to Say. Course in Letter-Writing and Punctu ation. Alphabetic list of Abbreviations. Business Englsh for the Business Man. Compound Words; How to Write Them. Studies in English Literature. $1 A UAL SEND I0CTS. FOR SAMPLE COPY j CORRECT ENGLISH. Evanston, III. TAKE NOTICE! That the manager* of Mount Hope Cemetery A*rtociation are determined to prevent the stealing or spoiling <>f flowers, vaae* ami re cepticle* for flowers, and the breaking of or nament*, or any spoliation of the ground* t»f the cemetery, that have been net aside for a sacred use; all of which i* strictly pro hibited. They will give a reward for the arrest and conviction of any one guilty of the violation of the cemetery rules and regulation*. By order of the BOAIiD OF MANAGERS. I-ambertville, N. J., May 10,1904--tf. One Minute Cough Cure For Coughs, Cold* and Croupr -- ■ ■' ■ *1 .I Their Scarlet Thread By KEITH CORDON Copyright, 1UU5, l>> T. C. Mot lure l*> In Iris heart of hearts the handsome young principal of tin* high school Sometimes characterized the young peo l»le under his charge In highly unpro Sessional language as “little beasts.” Teaching was by no means his voca tion, l.»ut simply a compulsory grace l»y which he hoped to obtain two coveted years of study at Heidelberg. lie did so now with a vleiousness that would have horrified their parents, for as he and Miss Cornyng entered one of the smaller recitation rooms to look at a globe they were confronted by their own names scrawled upon the blackboard and bristling with the can celed letters common to both. By counting first the canceled and then the remaining letters to the formula 'T’ncndship, love, indifference, hate,” the youthful tormentors had diseov ered and duly published to the world that Miss Cornyng's feeling for him was a compound of friendship and in difference. while his on n for her was unadulterated love. But Ibis was not all l.est the in scription should by any means escape the attention of its objects, warningly scrawled beneath It was the admotii tiou, "Change the name and not the letter, and you change for worse and not for better.” Curtright glanced at his companion swiftly, lie devoutly hoped she was not one of those mawkishly sent linen tal young women who blushed and quivered at occurrences of Ibis sort, thereby giving him an uncomfortable feeling that possibilities hovered in her mind. But this time In* need have had no fear. Miss Comyng took the matter niueli more coolly than her predecessor had done under similar circumstances. She faced the scrawl a moment with puckering brows, then transferred her gaze openly to his face and laughed outright at tin* dawning look of relief sh<‘ surprised there, and when she spoke it was with a great demureness. “1 don’t feel a hit embarrassed,” she remarked. “No one, I'm sure, need feel ashamed of feeling 'friendship and in difference* for a colleague. But candid ly”—her tone changed and became I rank and matter or fact isn t it amazing that in all those young heads from which I he pigtails an* still dan glltig, ns well as the clipped and rum pled ones on the other side of tin* room, the romantic idea should he dominant? You and 1, being neither very old nor very ugly" her lips twitched "will play the leading roles in a living drama for the next few months, one hundred and twenty pairs of keen eyes will ho watching iis daily, awaiting some sign of our admiration for each other It’s It’s simply appalling!" "Appalling!" he echoed. "I should say It was and some of them are still In the stage where they spell future with a vh' and busy with an ‘I!* But I don’t mind If you don’t." Ik* added mag nanimously She was sitting on the arm «»f one of the chairs in a thoroughly girlish but rather undignified attitude. Cartright noticed with satisfaction that her teaching had not “sunk In" as yet. "Mind! Not I. Why, it’s as good as a play. Now, if you come into my room to speak to me during a recitation, es pccially if you should happen to smile at me, the r.ir becomes electric with meaning. Minnie telegraphs Jennie a swift ‘Did you see that?' and even the hulking, overgrown hoys who have been sitting like bumps upon legs arouse to something like life." "I’ve half n mind to show you some thing I found on the floor today," she remarked slowly, and from tin* hag at her side she took a slip of paper and held it out to him. “It's extremely flat tering to you, anyway." He looked at the slip. “I bet she’s in love with him" was written in a wab bling. unformed hand “I dmi't see how she can help It, he has such fear fill fires in his dark eyes. They’re just like Hoehester’s." There was a moment’s silence, and then the two young Instructors broke Into a roar of laughter that wiped out the last sense of strangeness between them. "Now that you know that I know, and I know that you know," was Dart rigid's somewhat Involved explanation. "I don't see any reason why we can’t be friends. Nothing that those young cubs do can possibly make us shy. We ll show them that the thread of ro mance doesn’t run through every friendship between a man aim a wom an.** "As the scarlet thread through every bit of rope used by the British navy," she supplemented saucily, and then tin* talk reverted to school matters. But the pupils of the Central High school were not slow to discover that there was a new ease and undeistand Ing between the Incoming teacher of algebra and physiology and the prln cipal whom every girl in the room se cretly raved over. Once Jennie Buscom met them walk ing in the park, and notwithstanding the fact that on this occasion they were deep in the discussion of pedagogy she described the meeting to Minute Brown, her chum, the next morning somewhat after this fashion: "They didn’t even see till I was close to them they were so interested in each other. Her cheeks were all pink -you know how lovely she looks with tho color shining through that down on her face and he was looking at her, and his eyes were shining with a great hap piness." Here Jennie dropped dream ily into the words of her latest novel— “And words of love fell from his lipa.” “lint how do you know? You didn’t hear them, did you?” demanded the practical and unimaginative Minnie. ‘ Hear them!” was Jennie's scornful retort. “There are some things you don’t iiave to hear to know them. I’ll bet you that he was proposing to her. Just wait and watch the third linger wf her left hand.” Hut, though they waited and watched with a patience that deserved reward, the tapering fingers of Ruth Comyng’s loft hand remained unadorned. Had they shown any sign of a mlaunder Handing all might have been forgiven; lmt on the contrary, they were up* patently the best of friends, and Min nie Brown formed a mean habit, twit ting Jennie like this "Yes that will happen just about the time that that ring appears on Miss Comyng’s left band!" And poor Jennie was forced to listen in silence, for bad she not asserted positively that wo s of love were falling from his lip She was conscious of a fearful disappointment with lift*, and she watched this unao countable hero and heroine with hit ter, resentful eyes. Meantime the school year drew to ward its cl >se, and Cnrtright. with a dancing heart, saw his dream of two years at Heidelberg about t<* material | i/.e Into a real experience. ‘Think of it." he said to *' ss Cornyug as they rowed upon the i die lake In the park one dusky spring evening, "after Juno 1I'm free. Then, ho, for (lie vaterland! No more refractory boys, no more pert, half Hedged girls, no more tinkling of bells, no more wast ing of life and energy on a life I'm ut terly unfit for no more ebalk. no more Latin"— lie paused abruptly, as if some un expected thought had arrested him. and. trailing Ids oars, he looked curi ously at her. She. too, appeared ab stracted, lmt she aroused herself and smiled. “AVellV" “I've had an awful thought." he re sumed soberly. “It never oeeurred to me until this moment, but don't you see- there’ll be no more you. either. And I’ve gut s.» so aeeustomed to you, you know !“ His face showed a puzzled amaze men! that this should be so, and the girl opposite, seeing it. smiled lnvolun taril\. She. too. was n trifto bewildered at a certain ipiick constriction of the heart that his talk about going abroad had given her. They had been the very best of friends and companions, but was that any reason why she should feel a «piiek, overwhelming sense of desolation at the mere mention of bis going away? (‘artright rowed on absently, median ieally. Then, as the dusk melted soft ly into darkness, he made for the shore. The girl opposite him was a mere blurred shadow. 'The boat poked its nose into tin* shore, and he Jumped out. The action seemed to shake ofT the be imnd ! amazement that had fallen upon him, and In Its pla.ee came a great, glad certainty. He held out a hand two hands, in fact to help Miss Cornyng ashore, and as sin* put hers into them tie miir mured. “My dear, my dear It’s the scarlet thread after all!" \itpoltMiii anil Il«*ct Hinrnr. Although tin* great Napoleon was not tin* sort of man whom it was ordinarily safe to laugh at, lu* was ridiculed and caricatured on account of his faith that sugar could In* made profitable from beets. In IS 11 the emperor promised the French people that they should have sugar from beets If he excluded from I'ranee the commerce of Faiglund, including the sugars of the British West Indies. This promise led to the publication of a caricature in which the « nip* rur and his little son, the king of Home, were represented. The cm peror was shown sitting In his hoy's nursery, squeezing a Isn't root Into a cup of coffee. The baby prince sat near him hard at work sucking a beet root, while the nurse, standing close by, was represented as exclaiming, ‘ Suck it, dear, suck It; your papa says it is sugar!” 'Fills biting sarcasm did not prevent Napoleon from spending several million francs at a time when his empire was under a tremendous strain of expenditures In bounties for sugar made from beets. of l*rof«*M«iioii. Old Bunco M iguig.in as as well know n on his “sweep *-; Y’ as the bluccoals on j|„. b ut. A his work became somewhat hill'd* cue with the Increase of years the , ideals of the neighborhood urged to cm pin;, meat of an assistant. Barney did mil look upon the suggoi lion with I’m or M savored too strongly of tin* time when lie should he “laid on the shelf’" lint he consented to the trial of a new hand at last, and a stout youth was engag' d whose broom made quick work of the leaves and litter. “Yes, sir,” Barney admitted reluc lantl.v a few mornings later when ask ed |»y an old friend If lie did not find his assistant a good worker “yes, sir, there's no denying he's got the muscle to swing a btvoni in the open; hut, man alive, when It comes to the fancy touches round a I post or si sewer mouth, why, lie’s i ><>d at all!” VVV I I I II 14 1 011 IIM II Wit. Although I! cannot he si ! that the I Mike of Wellington shone I • any great extent as a humorist, lie wa quite eit pa hie of administering a crushing retort when occasion demanded, as the f<>! lowing story, called from a biography of the Iron Inike, shows l.mis 1*1)1 llppe once Introduced the duke to one of the French marshals whom lie had de feated In th'* peninsula. With unpar donahle discourtesy tic* mar-luil turn ed his hack on his old foe during the presentation. The king apologized with what grace he could. "Forgive him. sire,” laughed the Iron Duke. “Why. It wa I who taught him to d » that in tic* peninsula!” All “Stlcka." Manager There wasn’t a stick left after the tire in uiy theater. Sympa thizer What! I»o you mean to say that all the members of your company were burned to death V When a woman begins to watch at tcntlvely a man's ads. gestures am! speech, you may he sure sic* has Iwc gun either to love or to hat • him. Mortal Mao. It \v.i -• perhaps ordained by Provi dence t > hinder us from t ranulziOK’ over o.ie another that no individual should ho of so i ;iieh impo lance as ; to cause h ■ liis i'e!irement or death urvv chasm in tfie wo'id. .John- o Some* F.-rnrl) Din iiio, '!m. 'I lie I reel'll furnish r v. tli «win* well eut dlan aids: ‘ihitieiie* s the art of hoping.*’ \ ..uvenai^iies; Truth U j the skeleton of appearances,' He Mine ! set; “All how to virtue and then walk away,” Imrans. j We are m: often dtiped by 7 idfidentn , as by confidence rheste* fiel \. &--11 QUEEN’S CHOICE Bj CAMPBELL MACLEOD Copyright, 1006, by 1>. Mucl.nod (•> Tin* jester bowed low before the throne. The king extended n mtieh be jeweled hand. The Jesler bent over It reverently and slyly bit it. The queen laughed behind her fan and beekoned tin* elown to bet* side, lie sank on the steps at her feet. “ This is my throne ^>i tonight." he nnuounood. gayly Jingling his hells. "I shall surrender it to no one l or one night I shall speak only the plain, un varnished truth, your majesty " “One who would speak the truth, Sir Cap and Hells,” replied the queen sage ly. “must needs have some previous experlenee." “Ha. ha!” ehuekled the king, beam lug at the vision at Ids side “Well said, my lady. Previous experlenee, Sir Fool!” Age jangled in the vuiee of the king; youth huhhled ill tin* laughter of the Jester. The queen uneouseiously lean ed on the arm next to the down and closed her eyes for a moment to rest them from the bewildering sight be fore her. To he queen of one of the most splendid Mardi liras balls is something to turn a girl’s heart. Hut tlds one, to judge by her weary eyes In spite of the magnitleeiiee surround lug her and In fact* of the king’s open devotion was bored. And the even iug was only beginning. The Jester at her feet played with Ids hells and hummed “If Fver I Cease to Love” In time with the mil sldans far overhead. As he sang he watdied the face of the queen. Slid denly she turned to him. “Sir Fool,” sin* said gently, “that air goes not with that get up. Save your voice for “Tell Me, Pretty Malden." “Would she listen If l told her, think you’.'" he whispered eagerly. “There has never been but one pretty maiden for me. your majesty." “A maid Is but a maid," the queen returned -lowly, “and a man but a man, and love is blit" "Everything!’’ the Jester Interrupted seriously. “Love Is all.” The king called the second time, then had to touch the arm of the queen be fore she heard him. Two strange primes stood waiting to be presented, behind them came a train of Cupids, Lohengrin* and monks, each bearing a tray of compliments. The queen's eye* were big and suddenly bright. The king sat with his fat hand on his heart and listened to her bandying repartee with cat h in turn. Tim Jester’s hells were silent. He was attentively studs ing tin1 queen's pink nulls on the hand resting on the vase of magnificent roses near the throne. "You slumld have been a queen," the king anmrunccd ponderously as the last troubadour moved off. "You were horn a queen,” the jester whispered eagerly "This splendor shall always he yours,” the king continued in business tones. "Everything shall he yours that money can buy. but you were titled for a real throne.” ” ‘K ind hearts are more than coro nets.’ ” the Jester sang softly to the ulr of ‘‘I'nder the I tarn boo Tree.” "And the truest throne is a throbbing heart, lady.” The queen frowned at him im patiently and turned to the king, who was presenting two foreign generals, nhlutte with decorations. No, she was not dancing, she told them. The King couldn't dance, a ltd It llattered him that she was so well content on the throne beside him. The Incident w*s full of significance, lie It;id wealth, so clal position, everything hut her, and now It seemed that his pa Hence was to he rewarded at last What woman could hold out In Mi'll a tight? The queen sighed and brought him hack to earth. II** turned eagerly to her. She was looking far away. Her thoughts, even to a casual observer, were far re moved from tills crowded ballroom "You sighed, your majesty.” he begged humbly. "You share my throne. Let me slntre your trouble, whatever If Is." The queen laughed mei ' ll.N The Je t er touched ills bells. “Margot!" he whispered eagerly. "Margot!” The queen ignored the appeal. \ merry crowd of troubadours w ap proaching, and she paid for their com pllments wltJi a fire of smiles and pret IV spi'cciies. “If you would marry m»t” resinned the ojd king suddenly \\i;m the *rovvd departed with lurk w irl how < and obeisance and 111«■ y \»« r«• alone save for the Jester, whom lie did not see, “you h1ui.I1 he queen In a palace as henutiful as even you eould dedre.” "Margot!“ ent rented Hie Jitter Lo\ e Is everything!” The qii<*-n fr *\vn*d at him Inipat lently “Marry me," plenh-d the old king hoarsely. “You are n >t one w.\o can stand |H»verty. Your nuin-<ioii shall he u jiahiee; your Jewels shall rival a queen’s.“ “Marry me.” whb 7*• ■: f•' tlie jester, catching: hold of the hand behind the rose. “Today I boii/td a house, Mar got. True, there are !m( four r »»rns in It. lif t no plane eonl I he half so dear. You eould transforn it Jnlo a home. Muntot. 1 lmv«» no >• ;vels hut those of my love to give you. Margot, hut you know that Is true” “You shall rniisc in a yuHit on sum mer seas/* continued .*Jie deaf old king, “and all Paris and I ndon shill rave of your beauty and yoor splendor.” “We could slip off togeJJier to the park,” whlufK^reil flu* Jester, “to listen to the licitif.i on Sunday evenbig-. I>rm*t you rejneniU-r what you told me under those moss dra| n*d trees that night'/” The queen toy* »l with her fan and slglasl. “I love you! I love you! I love you!” chan led the jerter passion ately. “As my wifi t," resumed the king, “you will alw ays he tine queen of fteeuex like thin.” The e,\»*s of the queen* tfwejit th .‘house hefiom* her tier upon tier of b mutiful wottiwn in gor geous gowns ir oid Jewels, men whoso admiration ami preference minuted for a great deal, ai >1, above ail else, tin* at inoqpbere of • wealth and culture and beiguty. Coul/ inshe atlord^do reject It «UA _ _ , __ "1 am old." tlu* king continued sadly. ' All that is loft In life for me Is you. j Surely for the few yours remaining • 1 could you not share them with me? ] Think" gently "what it would mean to you uf tor ward. I ask no lose" * 1 am young." the jester whispered eagerly. **l love you. Things are be ginning to change for the better with me. Tan you afford to sell yourself. Margot, for gold ' What are the king's millions to my love, Margot '.*" Into the eyes of the queen a great light suddenly leaped, hut sin* sight'd again when she looked at the king. One hy one the maskers won' strag gling up to say good night. Tar over head the inuslelaus wort* playing again “If Tver I Tense to l.ove." the carnival air. Tho king bent wearily toward her. "Shall I come for my answer tomor row 7“ he asked patiently. Then, with fresh ardor, "You will not walk the world's way weeping when tin* coach man bids you ride, your majesty7" he questioned pleadingly. "My love" the Jester's lips touched her hand “if you choose the palace, who will keep my home7" Tho queen suddenly caught tin* clown's fingers with a thrilling grasp. Quick as thought he slipp<Hl a ring oil the third finger of her left hand. The king and queen had risen to depart. "I shall come for my answer at 4 to morrow," he reminded. "Why why not take It tonight7" the queen asked shyly. "1 can never mar ry you, your majesty, because 1 am to wed another." "To wed another?" the king faltered pitifully. "To wed another?" "Tills Is he, your majesty," the queen replied, turning to the jester. "Think," tho king pleaded. "Think" "Tin* queen has thought," the Jester announced In manly tones. And he knelt and kissed tin* cold hand of the k ng A Cheerful View. When (talas Hansomo of Tottorvlllo saw the hill rendered hy the physician who had ministered to his ills f<v three days in New York he puckered his lips and ga \ e a shrill w hist lc. “M\ stars. Ozi. you aren’t going to give that man any such sum of money as that, now, are you?" demanded Ids wife, with much spirit "You know It's extortion you know" Hut. to her amazement. Mr. Hansoine placed Ids hands In Ids pockets and tipped hack the hotel chair In a position that Indi cated pence of mind. “Now. see here, Kudory." lie said tranquilly, “I didn't sense il at first, hut when you consider that in Totter xillo I’d have had to he sick most six months to run up a hill o' that size we’ve got something to he thankful for that 1 was took with that spell here 'stead of at home “ Mrs. Uausomc pressed her hand to her forehead. "Hut supposing you had only been sick those three days at home, and" she began w ith a bewildered air, tlrnl ing small comfort in her husband's rea soiling “why, then" "We've no need to suppose," said Mr. IJansoine. with cheerful llrmness. "We've gt»l to take the decrees of Trov Idence Jest as they come. You dwell on the thought of my being saved six months in bed right In the heat o' sum mer " M iicli More riMvrrfiil. lTofessor Smith was onir lecturing on natural philosophy, anil in the course of Ills experiments lie intro dtn». a most powerful magnet, with which he attracted a block of iron from a distance of t wo feet “Can any of you conceive a greater attractive powerV’’ demanded the lec turer, with an air of triumph. “I can,” answered a voice from the audience. “Not a natural terrestrial object." “Yes, Indeed." The lecturer, somewhat puzzled, chal lenged the mail who had spoken to name the article. Then up rose old Johnny Soworby. Said lie: “I will give you facts, pro fessor, and you can Judge for yourself. W hen I was a young man there was a little piece id’ natural magnet done up In a neat cotton dress as was called Betsy Marla She could draw me four teen miles on Sunday over plowed land no matter what wind or weather there was. There was no resist in’ her. That magnet o' yourn Is pretty good, but It won't draw so f <r as Betsy Marla!" \ IliiNixInu ( iihIoiii. “That man." said the photographer, “owes me **J0 for a dozen cabinets. 1 Wish I dared to Ircal him as lie would he trented In Russia. “In Russia If you don’t pay your pho tograplier’s bill lie hangs your picture in his window upside down, livery Russian photographer’s window has five or six of these reversed pictures In It, and there Is always a little crowd of people outside mining their necks and saying: “‘Oh, that Is Vasili ropolTsky Won’t he be ashamed!’ 'And look at Anna OHiisk.\ You’d think slic'd b«» able to pay’ Is that Sonia tlogoi there? It certainly is What a pity!’ ■ Russian photographers, thanks t: Ihls unhpie method of theirs, have few unpaid hills ir only their method was In use here!" Chicago Chronicle 'I'li«* IlnlKPlioe'M I'roHM. A hedgehog mi ls itself up h.v a frown that is, hy muscles like those wlileh produce a frown and it frowns se verely or gently, according to circum stances If It is poked hard it “sighs” itself tighter If really hurt it frowns into a tight hall. The prickles can lie erected In a measure, though as they point all ways this Is not needed. They an* as sharp as needles. We have only known one dog. a large black ami white setter, which would deliberately bite a hedgehog till It killed it. Hut this <log was (juite mad and shared some of the anaesthesia common to certain lu natics. London Spectator. Books In flic Home. Some curious remarks are sometimes overheard at the counters of public li brarles. At Hull a young girl was heard to whisper to her sister: “l>on t get one of Miss Hraddon’s books. Mil will want to read It. and we shall have to wash up the supper things." In another ease a hoy went boldly up to the counter and said: “A book, please. Anything will do; it's for father.”- Westminster Gazette____ _ FACTS ABOUT TIME. How I lie Flu Mire Momenla Have lleea \ lowed b> Many Wrltern. Time is hard to deline. According to the best poets time has a heavy foot, a tooth, a forelock and breakable legs. It travels in divers paces; it ambles, trots, gallops, runs, rolls and stands still. It has whips; it crops roses. So far it seems like a horse, ltut it lias a forefinger; also a reckless hand that writes wrinkles. This explodes the horse theory. Furthermore, time tlies; hence "a bird of a time." Time is mon ey. 1 *>eing also a bint, time is a gold eagle, perhaps. Money is the root of all evil, and procrastination is the thief of time. Therefore procrastination Is ill a chicken thief, CJi a good tiling. The wickedness of time is beyond question. It is vindictive. "I wasted time," mourns King Richard, “and now doth time waste me." Time waits for no man. 'Time shall throw a dart at thee Time robs ns of our joys. Time will tell. Time is unthinking. Time presses Its debtors. The time is out of Joint, and well may it he. considering what a nuisance it Is. Time Is a sea, a sandy beach, a bank, a shoal and an abysm. Also it is a whirligig, which seems odd when we recall that time is quiet as a nun Time is good, bad, high, tine, rough, hot, Christmas, spring, waltz, common and lovely. Among good times may he mentioned quitting time and dinner time.—Newark News. HEAVY LOADS. Wonderful ( urr> Ihk Power of the lllll >1 on or Tibet. There are these famous weight car rlcrs, known to ail travelers, the Swiss mountain women, who walk up the steepest slopes with pack baskets of manure on their hacks, and the porters of Constantinople, one of whom will hike a small piano on the curious sad die he wears. Perceval Lundon, Lou don Times correspondent in Tibet, speaks of hill country carrying that is most extraordinary. on tin* Indian plains porters carry eighty to a hundred pounds, blit hill men when working by the Job take three times as much up frightfully had paths. -1 have myself seen a man carry into camp three telegraph poles on his hack," writes Mr. Landon, “each weighing a tilth* under ninety pounds. Farther east the tea porters of Se chuan are notorious, and loads of 1150 pounds are not unknown. Setting aside tin* story of a I Unit la lady who carried a piano on her head up from the plains to Darjeeling as too well known to tie likely to he exact, the rec ord seems to la* hold by a certain Chi nese eooly who undertook in Ills own time to transport a certain casting, needed for heavy machinery, inland t;> its owner. The casting weighed 570 pounds, and tin* carriage was slowly but successfully accomplished WON WITH A REVOLVER. All lliollleilt Ilf till* tall III III IIIK Hall* it t Monti* t iirlo. Mtit'll excitement was caused a num ber of .years ago at the public gambling establishment at Monte Carlo by an elderly man who was said to be an American named Captain Clyde. Hav ing lost $<1,(100 at the tables, he ques tioned the fairness of the play and abused the croupiers* whereupon or ders were given to debar him from playing again. When he returned on tin* following day the doorkeeper at tempted to prevent bis entrance, but he drew a revolver, walked In and took Ids seat at one of the tables and began to play. One of the inspectors who at tempted to eject him was knocked down, and when a ring of the attend ants was formed around the captain with (lie object of bustling him out be retreated In a corner, drew bis revolver once more and after denouncing the managers as thieves and swindlers de clared that lie would not leave the place until the $U,000 be bad lost on the previous day was restored. After some hesitation the managers, seeing that bo was determined and finding their employees unwilling to expose tlioimelves in the tire of Ids revolver, complied with the demand. I.o** i* 11 mill Muling.*. James Russell Lowell and Professor MahatTy met for the first time at a friend's house in Birmingham, Eng land, and talked together for four hours. When Lowell drove away In the carriage la* exclaimed to his host. "Well, that’s one of the most delightful fellows I ever met, and I don’t mind if you tell him so!” The friend did so, and Mabafl'y received the compliment with equal grace and modesty. "Poor Lowell!" lie exclaimed. "To think that be can never have met an Irishman be fore!” Tliri*#* I)n>w ll<* III*!n't l.lke. Lord Burleigh once said: "Though I tillnk no day amiss to undertake any good enterprise or business in hand, yet have I observed three Mondays un lucky the first .Monday In April, when Cain was born and his brother Abel was slain: the second Monday in Au gust which day Sodom and (Jomorrah were destroyed; the last Monday In nccenibcr. which day Judas was born, who betrayed Christ.” Ayers If your blood is thin and im pure, you are miserable all the time. It is pure, rich blood that invigorates, strengthens, refreshes. You certainly know Sarsaparilla the medicine that brings good health to the home, the only medicine tested and tried for 60 years. A doctor’s medicine. “ I owe tnjr life, without doubt, to Ayer's Sarsaparilla. It Is the most wonderful medi cine in tli** world tor nervousness. My cure is permanent, und I cannot thank voii enough. Mas. Delia UcWell, Newark, N.J. 91 00 a bottle. J. V. aver «'0., mehm£mbmmhms for ** Door Health Laxative doses of Ayer’s Pills each night greatly aid the Sarsaparilla