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THIRTY-FOURTH YEAR. LAMBERTVILLE, N. J., WEDNESDAY, JUNE li(», 11)07. WHOLE NO. 1808 00 Y°U KNOW nr 1 *1*0 have" 0K^*:nrs t ;v-iC= H. i %r ‘••ansi? y/ The “New a„„.r'^“»">•• C"a'"1'■«'to. rp Problem of hi, T 'Vork of ten The “New A„„ „!"■'"-«*• C"a"d ■'»<>'to. N°w is the Km- . . M . M’ouhJ j,av 11 vatOl ^°w «the time t„ . .inva"®< Ceresota Flours:'- '^^7 CoaJ IOUr and Mill j iade8,n stock, j Repaid for °f al> kinds *,"co« »ouVr-« -.l^^'nes. ^£-.. nn ,,n v> Cl T I\1 *r. r—-^1°^"’, /IV TWO a,,°r» j,, hI„„,_ Kood style. p,a,n s-»". :rr B2CuVre7"te f,,r Scho”' -J5SL?*E5r^ Lanbertvilie, n. j ALBFKT 1). AN DKKHON, ('ounscfor-at- Lair, Solieitor» Master in ('haucery and Solan/ Public. Office 33 Bridge street, Lambertville, N. .1. YY ALTER F. HAYHUliHT, <<buns* /lor-ut-Laic, Solicitor, Mauler in ('humeri/ and Sot art/ l*u Id ie. LawberMile Hank Hu it ding, /.ainto r/ril/c, X. ./. y W. LARI SON, Physician and Surgeon, Corner Mum and J* //< rson streets, La nilurtril/e, X. J. Law Office Of OLIVER I. BLACKWELL, E»taten, Loaim, Real Estate, Co ectioua, CouveyaucinK Coknkh Union ani> Hkidiik Htm., NKW HANK 111 ll.liiNU 1,AMHK11TVII.I,K, N. .1. W. P. THORNTON, RUBBER STAMPS, 4i> mi l I UN W<H>1> HTUEET Denier in Fine Rubber Fruiting Stamps, Wax Seals, Seal Freshen, Burning BrainIh ainllStencils. Catalogue for the asking. a 1-418. C.C. B. JOHN & CO. Fire Insurance Agents, With 13 year h experience, representing first clans companies only. Solicit a share of your patronage. See them before placing your policies 69 DELAWARE AVENUE. JOHN K. LABAW, FUNERAL DIRECTOR and UrUOLSTKKKK. All kinds of furniture repaired. Work ami prices guaranteed to give aatisfaetiou. Night Bell ou oftice door. J. K. LABAW, No. 03 North Union street, I.auibertville, N. .1. JOHN C. MOORE, Fire Insurance Agent, 64 BRIDGE ST., LAMBERTVILLE, REPREHENTING THE UNION INSURANCE COMPANY [OF PHILADELPHIA This ia one of the very beat Companies. Losses paid since organization, 1S04, over uoo.oou. Rates as low as can|be?written by any rel • ttble company. E. H. HOLCOMBE, Real Estate and Insurance Sol.I,IDAY lillll.llING, Cor. Bridge and Union Streets Keal Kxlitli1 Itouglil, Snlil ami K\« li»li|fe'l. I'll'hl I'lllHN IIIMII I'HIK')' 141 l(etlMI»tlltl»l« ItalfH. Airrnl for F.xl• nl <»eo >1. Ilolcointie, tier'd liiti ^aiiK lor luwxIni'N or home huyei'M on 4‘MN.V lo I'lOM' f‘Ntal«*. CRITICAL SMOKERS KNDOHHI. “THE JOHN HAY, Jr.” CIOAk A Three for a Quarter Grade for only 5c- each. SOM) AND OUARAN I KKD BY J. F. 3vIEOX3SriTES, No. lU'J N. Union Street, . 1.AM11KKTV1LLK, N I Telephone Notice. THE M F.IU’H ANTS’ AND FARMERS’ i Ml. Fd’HONE ANI> TKI.FUKAI'II COMPANY Imve now Guilt th»*ir linen into alnued all parts of Hunterdon County am! are ready to rereive HUhacriptionH for telephones at the rate of per year for unlimited service throughout the county. The Hysteni now reaches New Hope, Lain hertville. Stockton. Idell, Kinj/wood, Her ^eantaville. RiuKoeM, Locktown, Croton, Flem inifton, Three KridtfeH, Kaptist town. Konh liiont, Frenrhtown, Milford, Kloomiddiry, Little York, Mt 1’leaHant, Everittstown, 1'at tenhuru, Quakertown, Pittatown. Clinton, Annandale, l.ehanon, Potteratown, White hoiiHe and Whitehouae Station Applications for telephones al.onld he made to Charles* N. Reading, Frenrhtown, N. .1 , or Eiitfene Wilaon, Kertfeantaville, N -I which will receive prompt attention THK NKBCIIANTS’ AND PAKIKKS' TKLKPHONK AND TKLKliKAPH C01PAN1. INTERESTING INSTRUCTIVE “Correct English, How to use it.” A MONTHLY MAGAZINE DEVOTED T_ THE USE OF ENGLISH. Jostphinc Tuack Baker, eoitoh. I'AKTIAI. COM ENTs FOR THIS MONTH Course in Ehglish for the Beginner. Course in English for the Advanced Pupil. How to Increase One’s Vocabulary. The Art of Conversation. Should and Would: How to use Them. Pronunciations (Century Oictionary). Correct English in the Home. Correct English in the School. What to Say and What Not to Say. Course in Letter-Writing and Punctu ation. Alphabetic list of Abbreviations. Business English for the Business Man. Compound Words; How to Write Them. Studies in English Literature. hum. sini) 10 cts. rot saipli copy Correct English, Evanston, 111. |vum%uum«tuuuuvumti( > I AN | UNPROTESTED CHECK. Edith Pf. Tioane. I’op) righted, lltC.b) M. M. i'uuuiughaw. When all tin* legal formalities wore oiulotl and tin* fortune that hail boon Hubert Maxwell's was dually handed over to his "beloved daughter Eliza both." that young lady regarded her new found responsibilities In dismay and promptly proeeedod to shift them to other and broader shoulders. James (Jordon had been her father’s see re tar > ami his shoulders were presumably bet ter fitted for the burden. Hut you eannot hand me over your fortune to tarry, as if It were a book or a pareel," said (Jordon distractedly, though inexpressibly cheered by this profession of confidence. "You do not understand” "Oh, yes, 1 do." returned Miss Max well serenely "1 understand perfectly. 1 shall appoint you” "Chairman of the llnanee committee,*’ suggested (Jordon. "Yes,” saitl Miss Maxwell. "1 will be the committee.” "Well, 1 shall do my best.” saitl (Jor don. laughing "Hut the committee will please remember that it has cer tain active duties.” "I don't see why It should have any/’ she retorted "Practically, you have already managed the estate for the past live years. You were Invaluable to father.” ‘•Perhaps 1 was,” (Jordon returned, “though I don't rcmeml>er It, and he never mentioned It. However, 1 appro elate your eoulldeuee and will serve you faithfully; but igruvelyi what if 1 should make mistakes? Is It wise to intrust tin* handling of so much money to one man?” "1 should think It might depend a good deal upon the man," said Miss Maxwell softly So (Jordon titled up an office In a downtown skyscraper, where he sat at a table strewn with papers and pink taped, legal looking documents, figur ing and writing Into into the nights, and Miss Maxwell, having arranged her financial affairs to tier liking, annexed a meek, elderly relative as chaperon and turned her attention to other dif Acuities. Hi r first, ehlcfest and most ImmiHll ate difficulty was her cousin Tom (’or nlsli. "It isn’t that I do not like you,” she painstakingly explained for the hun dredth time. "You know 1 do. As a sister, now . I" "(Hi. drop It!” retorted Tom Inele gant l> “And anyhow 1 shall never marry." “Ho It’s all lip?” "I think I have been telling you that for the past the minutes," said Miss Maxwell impatleutly "You know what l meant all along,” he said sullenly "Home one has been giving you a resume of my vices.” "Your vieos are nothing to me nor your virtues either If you” The words died on her lips For the first time In all their lives Ills arm closed around her. Convulsively he held her to him, bending Ills bead till his lips met her soft hrowu lutlr "Hetty, I—I’ve got to tell you I'm in no end of trouble. 1 need you 1 need your help 1” lty a single vehement effort Hetty re leased herself. “Ilow dale you? How dure you?” she raged, then came to a dead stop. Her eyes grew wide with dismay and fixed upon the doorway at the end of the room. "Mr. (Jordon/1 she said in u eon strained voice. It was (Jordon Indeed lie was quite at the other end of the long room, hut not so far that the late tableau eoulil be unseen by him, anil the distress of tier face was Intensified lu his as lie bowed hurriedly and the yellow por tiere fell behind him Hetty blushed furiously. A person looking on and not understanding might, of course she turned suddenly to Tom, who stood staring at her un easily. "Now go!” she cried desperately. Meanwhile Gordou had found Ids hut and tin- sidewalk and walked Mindly down the avenue, forgetting tin* papers lie had gone for forgetting everything except a Kill’s Unshed, dismayed face. It was scandalous that she should he allowed to drift Into complications with that fellow It was all very well that Cornish was her cousin, hut what of the fellow’s character a gambler, a fortune hunterV Vet what could he doV All day he had looked forward to seeing Hetty Well, he had seen her And she must have been in earnest. Sin; wasn’t tin* kind of gill to let a man and as memory gripped him he plunged gloomily on. It was several days later that Miss Maxwell, blue gowned and demure, turned Into the entruuce of a hunk ou lower Broadway and walked cnlinly to the paying teller's window "I suppose you know that this over draws your account, Miss Maxwell," said that gentleman, handing out a packet of fresh hank notes The girl stared at him In nstoulsb ment. "No, I did not know'. I had not thought," she said nervously. "That last check was rather large ten thousand” '‘Ten thousand!” repeated Betty wea k ly "Yes. We did not question it. of course. U*vause Mr. (Jordon so often draws large amounts.” lie looked at her keenly "It was all right, I sup pose V" "Yes; oh, yes,” said Betty uusteudlly. "It was all right I I suppose Mr. Gordon cashed It?” "He sent a messenger, as he usually joes." Betty nodded. The hank swam and for an Instant her brain reeled ns she turned away, perplexed and vaguely conscious of Impending evil. Ten thousand dollars! I'ven to Betty’s vague business rea soning $10,000 seemed a good deal to lose track of. But there inuHt lie some good reason w hy Gordon had filled In the check for so much, for Miss Max well’s methods of dealing with the management of her estate had not changed, uml, though she still signed all her checks, she serenely washed her hands of further responsibility, and Gordon usually tilled them In Ouce at home she hurried to her desk She had a prejudice against keeping her cheek book In order, and an appalling number of hastily scrawl ed stubs confronted her. She worked busily, covering a pad with ligures and counting up totals on her fingers Hut It was slow work, and near the end one stub stared out from the rest pro voklngly. It wan blank. Sho leaned her elbows on the ileak and. resting her t hin In her hands, stared hard Into space. There was the cheek unaccounted for. and he had filled It out for $10.nu0. No one knew how many others he had used He was welcome to the money. She would not fight It If she could Hut he had seemed so different, and she had trust ed him. Slowly her head sank on the desk, and the heiress of tlm Maxwell millions cried her eyes out like any ordinary lovesick girl. It was ten hours later ten dreary. Interminable hours that the clock oil Hetty’s dressing table chimed 1 Hetty shivered No sleep had come to her eyes. (Jetting out of lied, she slipped Into a dressing gown. She would read Anything would be ln*t ter than lying In bed open eyed and sleepless moaning over James (Jordon Her book was In the library She opened her door and ran hurriedly down Into the hall below. l'ushlng open tin* library door very gently, she entered the room, then uttered a faint scream The room was lighted by the faint rays of a hullseye lantern. Standing at her desk with his lan k to her. o|N*nlng her eheck book, was — Toni Cornish Starting convulsively at sound of her cry. he turned and confronted her, white to tin* lips “Hetty,” he stam mered Miss Maxwell stood very still. •‘Tom.” she said, "why did you do It?” Hut Tom had fallen into a chair and hidden Ids shamed face In his hands. “It’s all up.” he said hoarsely. “I'm dead broke, and 1 thought 1 stood a chance to stake myself once more I’ve had the devil’s own link latch. 1 lost every cent of that other cheek " Hetty looked at ldtn as If In a dream. “The eheck your check. I was dead broke debts everywhere and I got hold of your cheek ls>nk. 1 knew (Jor don 11 id almut as he pleased and It was your signature all right I meant to give It hark to you. Hetty, as soon as tin luek turned. I really did.” Hut to Ills mysllfieation Helti was looking at him with shining eyes. “It was you who eushed the eheek for ten thousand,” she repented softly. “It was you It was you.” It was weeks before sin* told (Jor don. and he, being a wise young man In Ids generation, said no word of her bygone In just lee, but bis arms went round her. and In* held her close, while she. crying quietly, hid her face against Ills coat. "No other miiu would have under stood.” she whispered softly Her Very Good Reaeon. The two wives were discussing the pecuniary |»eciilhil'ities of tlielr respec tive husbands, and they coincided with great unanimity until they reached the point of their own relation to the purse strings “My husband never gives me a penny unions la* growls about my extrava gam e,” said one. "Mila* does tla* same thing,” attested the other. "Hut I get even with him." And her face showed the color of satisfaction. “How do you ever do It?” "I go through his trousers pockets when lie's asleep.” “(business gracious!” exclaimed the other. “I wouldn't do that for any thing ” "\Vh> not? Haven't we a right to the money as well as they have?” “Yes, hut I wouldn’t go through lay bus hand's trousers pockets for It ” “I’d like to know why'.'” said the first, quite Indignant at the apparent reproof. “Hecaitse,” blushed the other, ‘ he carries his money in his waistcoat pocket." IVarson’s Weekly Whan Banks Are Bitten. “Speaking of had cheeks,” said IIip cashier of a downtown hank, “don’t you believe for a moment that most of tla* expert foi‘K«M tin* la*himl burn or frightened Into Inactivity The dis tluguishcd professionals those noons touted to play for a fortuup at a sin gle throw am pretty well In hand, hut then* are others. “Ah a matter of faot. the public would Is* HurpriKed to learn how imin> bogus checks. perfectly exeouted, got past the hank officials every week In this elty " “Iton't hoc many of 'em in the poliee court eases,” a IlHteiier suggested “Of course not. Most of tin* oheeks are for smull amounts and are made good hy the hank otlleers Why? Well, because It does a hank no especial good to have It known that forged oheeks run pass through its windows. So the mutter is hushed up. Even when a man Is caught in the not he is often allowed to go free If he is merely an agent and will tell who his principal Is. It's business policy.” New York < I lobe. Every one Is bound to hear patiently the results of his own example.-.4*hue drua. MAGAZINE READERS SUN1CT MAOAZIRI bcaullulIjrilliMtuled, food Mafia. £ 1 rr\ ud uncle. tkm Crlilarai* *' ud *11 d>e far Wert. • jrui TOWN AH COUNTRY JOURNAL * aoalkljr pubbcalio* devoird *A tn lo tkr laraiaf Inn* ol the Wra. * yea ROAD or A THOUSAND WOHMRA a book ol 75 pagee, contauun* 120 coUred phuofapha of pKlurarqur apau 1* CrUoi iu* _ ud Ongo*. .... ToUl . . . $2.75 All tor.$1.50 Col out thu •dvertiormeol ud mmd with $1.50 to SUNSET MAGAZINE JAMES FLOOD BLDG . SAN FRANCISCO $0.75 HUMORS OF WAR. A Federal Lieutenant Who Was Wort# Than Surprised. Puring the civil war tin* comiuuuder t»f n marchingdetachment looked along his lliii', scowled at Its irregularity, then shouted aloud: ’Vlose up! t’lose up. you follows! Why, if tho enemy ; were l«> tiro on us now they couldn't hit oiu* of you." Another commander, tvhilo a battlo was In progress. came upon a straggler who was running away, with toars streaming down Ids cheeks. My man, don’t be a baby!" tho general remonstrated. thinking to shanio tho renegade "Hoo hoo! Wlslit I was a baby, and a gal baby at that,” was tho unswor that showed him the rase w as hopeless. That Is less humanly amusing than the answer of a guileless lieutenant who with half a eompany had la*en captured and paroled by the ubiquitous John Morgan. I’pon reaehing Federal territory the lieutenant made haste to report to the nearest post eoinmander. who, after duly welcoming tin* new coiner, said: •‘Tell me how all this happened Were you surprised?” “Surprised! A heap worse’ll that 1 tell you, l was plum astonished to see them gray fellers. 1 was, for a faet, colonel,” the lieutenant answered, with the air of one who fully covers tho ease Success Magazine BONANZA POKER. A Game That Staggered a Haughty Commercial Traveler. I'oker, say those who cun remember bark to the times of the old west, has seen Its best days. No longer are such royal battles waged over the green cloth as when the newly Hedged min lug millionaires met with money to hunt and with plenty of sporting spirit to burn it. "It was la the famous Silver How club ut Helena. Mont , that they used to play big poker,” says a man who re members. "At the game one night sat Marcus Paly. Senator 1 burst and .1. It llaggtn when there hurst In a radiant New York drummer who hud a two weeks’ eutd to the Institution, lb* mar« lied up to tlx* players and po litely asked If he might take a hand "‘Why, yes. come light In.’ said lhily "The drummer threw a hundred dol Inr note on the table. 'Let me have chips for thill,’ he said gravely. "lb1 went to hang up his coal and lint When lx* returned the bill still lay mi the table. "‘What’s Hu matter, gentlemen Y the traveling man haughtily inquired "Ain’t my money good?’ "Why, y os, to be sure,’ said Paly. Hear? I, ul\e the gentleman one white t hip ’ " Scrap Hook Schopenhauer on Hypocrisy. < Hi, fur some Asmodeiis of morality to make not only roofs and walls (runs parent l*» his favorites, hut also to lift the veil of dissimulation, fraud, hypoe risy, pretense, falsehood and deception, w hit li Is spread over all tiling . to show how little true honesty there Is in the world and Imw often, even where It Is least to be expeehsl, behind all the ex terior outwork of virtue, secretly and In the innermost roeesses, unrighteous ness -its at the helm! It Is Just on this account that so many men of the bet ter kind have four footed friends, for, to be sure, how Is a man to get relief from the endless dissimulation, falsity and malice of mankind if there were no dogs into w hose holiest lares lie can look w itlioiit distrust ? It Blew. \\ In ii a British battleship was lying ill New York IiiiiImm a Itciitclinlit of till Visiting VCHHcl WIIH discussing ioii^Ii wen 1 her with a group of Amerl hiii naval olhcors, our of whom re peated lln* tali* of (In* day (hat was ho windy Hint tin* crows had to walk “Still, thal wind was nothing to one we encountered In the hay of His cay/' laughed the lieutenant. “Why, It hiew so hal'd that it took four men to hold i'lince Louis’ luit on, and even then it hlew the anchors off the hilt tons on his cont.” Woman's Home < 'ompanion Wanted Help to Be Thankful. The minister's children were out In the field one day. while visiting on a farm, when suddenly a ram came to ward them all ready to “Imtt In.” Lit tie Arthur, aged live, said to J>orothy, ajfeil three, “Oh, Horothy, Hay your prayers!'' She said, I can't think of any," so her brother told her to say any one that she heard their father say The rani was getting closer, and In her fright she said the only one she could think of “ft Lord, help us to he thankful for what we are about to receive.” Got Mixed. Alice She's angry Kate Why? Alice He asked her for a lo« k of her hair Kate Well? Alice Then, aft erward, she asked him to send It hio k to her Kate Well? Alice And he sent her a lock that wasn't the right color. Somerville Journal. Be Prepared. In every avenue of life great opportu nitlcs an* constantly confronting its Who are n*udy fol* them? Who will 1111 the positions? It Ih the prepared men, those who are eijiuil to the places, who generally g<*t them. SueeesH. Strong Influence. ITIend You have great Influence over your husband lie never left your side all yederday How did you man age It? Wife Oh, I Just sat flrmly on the tall of his coat; thiit'H all Meg gendorh r lilutter. He who despises small things never becomes rich. I mulsh I’roverh. Quick Finger*. The dexterity of a mod tii virtuoso’s lingers made a deep Impression on an old farmer who was among tin* uml! ence at a piano recital, flapping both hands suddenly down upon his knees, he was heard to exclaim. “I'd give $100 to have that mail pick peas for me!" Mischief comes by the pound uml goes away by the ounce. French Proverb. Cotton cloth made in India Is nifcii* tinned by Herodotus, K (' 400. ROBBERY IN PARIS CAFES. No Prices on Bills of Fare, and Waiters Impose on Guests. 1 tt ll you.’’ said the returned Kuro pcan traveler. taking up tin* 1*111 of faro. “It’s a good deal of relief t** get to a plate where mu* tail Know the exact t ost t>i things 1.1 oat ami tlrink When on the othei sitlo 1 narrowly cs rapetl nervous prostration herause t»f tin* latltmle hi the prh os of Items on tlu* menu Paris Is about the worst of fender among I’luropean titles In this res poet In restaurant after restaurant I hero priees are t>initti*il from the bill of fare simply to gl\e an opportunity to rltV the pt»ekt*ts of the unwary. Take my advice ami have as close an approaeh to an Ironclad agreement as possible with your gurcon regarding! the 'doinuitlou total’ of your meal be fore giving your order. If you don't, there’s trouble and pet uniary hiss ahead. The waiter, with the eonnlv a nee of the proprietor of the eafe, will tlo all In* can to impose upon you. “One tragic story that l tan votieli for may he of Interest to \nieriean tourists. It..shows one vaiiety of res taurant robbery in l‘aris illustrating luehlentally French Ingenuity An American wt iiiai. gave a Mini I lunch eon at a well known plate to a half dozen friends She had i.o intention of ituvklug It an elaborate atVnlr Sin* knew I-Teiieli ways and hud a earefill estimate made of the eost of the repast ordered Alter the second eourse she noticed that the waiters were pressing upon her guests delicacies for which she had not stipulated, and sin* ob served. too. that a point was made of asking each person If she would have some of this, that or the other thing. Of course ihe viands were accepted These extras were succeeded by oth era, the poor hostess not being able (or felt siie was unable, which amounts to the same thing! to stem the tide rap Idly overwhelming her pocket honk. When sin* lmd a stormy session with the proprietor sin* could get im satis faction Tin* things were offered; they were eaten. ‘Of a surety, iiiadame had ordered them, else they would not have been served. II Is Impossible that iiiadaiiie would wish to have eon sequences most unpleasant?' She wisely paid the hill, hut the experience cost her dear “So. you see, holdups are not eon tilled to our beloved country. In fact, I think that our polite contemporaries aver the Atlantic know thing' about the game about which our desperadoes are In entire Ignorance.“ New York POINTED PARAGRAPHS. Trouble nniH'H natural to some pen |»le. just like freekles nr rurly hair llnw ddlTreutly our side m' a fuss Hounds when presented hy our enemies! Tin* » hain es aiv f people distrust you tin* fault tins largely with your Self A man ih'vci oniv* a t deal for the plelurvw taken of lifin when ho was rriio Idea that there are two aides t-i every ipieslion didn't originate with any of the parties direetly Interested It Is ritflit to atari out In life with an anildtion. lad don't overlook the Im portanee of enjoying the seenery on When a man pinks up a pair of pan tuloons he has not worn in a loon time, he always feels in the poekets In see If lie has left any money In them Ateldson (Jlohe Changed His Motto. A Hoiithein representative In eon KI'onn Is reputed t*» he ot in It a per Nunaive manner that, no matter what party may he In power, lie outdoes his colleaKues in proeurliitf favors for Ids eonstltuents. One afternoon the atalesman was met hy a newspaper man 'Well, tna Jor," asked the hittei "how many ap point meats and appropriations have you arranged for today 7 We all know your way of ^ettini' everythin^ that you K'» after ” ‘‘Nothing today,” responded the lep resentatlve rather wearily "Mv ex pel'lelne this time reminds me of the old < 'onfederate soldier that I knew hi Tennessee I went Into this war,' said he. 'with the motto "Vent, vldl, vlel," and I eame out vho versa’” St. Louts Itepuldh*. How Thuy Fooled the Preacher. When our grandmothers arranged lo him* chiekeii for Sunday dinner for the preuchei they picked out llie big gest mid fullest mid loneliest old lieu on I In* place Saturday afternoon and had the bojs and dogH "run la-r down ” A tough old lien that Is chased all ovi the plan* and frightened out of her life Im ah lender as a spring land* when cooked. bright makes any animal, bird or fowl tender, no the hooks say, and It appears from this that our grundinot hers knew what they were about when they had tin- tough old hens eliased before killing Ml 1 *orndo (Kan i Kepuhlieiin It Killed Him. “1 should fancy the laundry business was about as easy iih any to start.” “What makes you think so?" "All you have to do Is to lay In a sup ply of starch “ "Yes ” “Well, that'll stureli you all right." Three days after there was a burial London 'I II Hits A Brilliant Thought. Mistress il<» maid alter the party! Ho I-'rau X called this afternoon What reason did >011 give for my not seetii| her? Maid I told her we had a 1 *fg wash on Meggendorfer Hinder Assume hi adversity a roiintemiin i of prosperity and In prosperity Hinder nte thy temper Idvy. Enriched by an Earthquake. "With all the harm that earlliquakes do," Nuld a rug dealer, “it Is plea ant to hear of an entire town that an earth quake enriched. The town I mean Is Ouzoun Ada. on the Caspian sea, the terminus of the Transcaspian and Sa inurknnd railway. Ouzoun Ada hi the past had a miserable port, hut a few years ago an earthquake visited her, anil on its departure she found herself the richer by a liarl*or deep enough to float the largest ships Since that for tunate visit Ouzoun Ada's population anil wealth have trebled.” IN A SUBMARINE What Happens as the Vessel Takes the Plunge Beneath tho Sea. I iuI«t ordinary e-omlitlons as soon ail tin* hood Is closod for (ho plunge tho raptain opoiis Iht1 fnueets and a «|uanll t\ of water, w hle li makes the ship hea\y cmiugh to sink, rushes into the reservoirs loented at tlie sides of the vessel, liven the most hardened of the Bailors say that the noise of the water rushing inti* the boat gives a lugubrious impression, and it requires men gifted \\ ith eool heads and possessing tested eourage for tin* hazards involved in operating these little boats. Hut. In spite of their fragile appearunee. they are terrible instruments of war. and notwithstanding their diminutive size they are eontrollod by twelve men, oneh of whom is Indispensable to their navigation. Tho hood onee elosed, the submarine la absolutely eut off from tin* world its shell, eab ulated to support a pressure of seven or eight atmosphere's, gives It tin* ability in theory to go down to a dlstaiiee of thirty to forty meters, hut In praetiee It Is considered sutlleient to drop to a depth of fifteen meters, and at sta ll a level it is in no danger of be ing flooded. I he most strongly armor ed vessels of the ordinal*} type* e*\!end downward only ten meters. 'Pile' ve'ssel is directed by two verthal governors, one above and e»ne lielowr the stern, as they are always plaeesl on submarines. To govern the' coming up and going down of a boat there* are two horizontal governors, om* tit the stern ami one at the bow Metropoli tan Magazine. PROPER BREATHING. More Essential Than a Beautiful Voico For Perfect Singing. 1 cannot too foivlhly Insist that the mere possession of a lovely voice is only the basis of vocal art. Nature oe easlonally startle's one by the prodl gahtv of lu*r gifts, but no student lias any right to expect to sing by Inspira lion any more than an athlete may expect to win a race because he Is nat urally Meet of foot Methods of breathing, "attack” anti the use of registers must all be perfect ly understood by tho successful singer, vv ho should likewise he complete mas ter of all details relating to the* struc ture* and use of those parts above* (lie* Volt e ho\ ami he* cotiv lltce'il of tile* lie* ce'sslty of a peilVi'tly e-emtrolleel ehe'st expansion In the1 produe-tlon of tone'. I o| J *e*l‘ f e *•11 slnglllg, eeUTes t 1 lie'll til lug, strange' as It may somiel, Is e*ve• 11 more' I'ssenthil than a Im*ii lit I fill voles'. No matter how e*xepllslte the* venal organ may he*, Its Inanity cannot be* aeli 'piatedv ele'inonstnile'el without prop e*r breath e-oiitrol. lb-re* Is one* of the? oltl Italian se*cre*ts which many singer* of toilay wholly hmk, he*e'ause* limy are unwilling to give- the* imie'ssnry time for the* full ele-vedoplimul of hre>athiiig power ami eeudrol. I’hrnslng, tone*, re'Homilies'. e*\pre*SHion, all de*pe*iiel upon ii- piralietii. ainl. In my opinion, liillsle'ill Mtiiihsils, e'ven vvlmii toe* young lo he* allowed llm Ires* use* of (lie voles*, should In* Ilioieiiigld.v taught the* prill e-lph-s ed' hl'e-atlllllg Nellie* M«*lh|| 111 e 'out in \ Tho Trouble With Decorator*. Pin- gre-a! Iroilhle with the* eleeorutor who fails to Klles-e-esl He'S in Ills preell le-etion for one- partie’iilar se’lmot of eh* sign III- bes-oine'S a llioliolllll lllue, eh* e-lare*s I titcrior I lecnmtloii, em the* suh jes t of some Hpe*e*lal selieml of decora tloll lie- gtH-S ill for alls llliel eTilfIs ami knows nothing edse* lie* he*e.*e*nie*H eoloulal mail or he* 11 111 I in t «*h with the* l,iviie*h se'hool, ami nothing is right that isn’t I re-iie h, or pe*rhaps, hediig ti e;ei l11llll Hllel <!e*l*lliaii hy t*ellie'iltloii, lie? • spouses <b*rmaii of l‘le*iiilsli art. or, hediig English ami English hy e*elueu 4 loll, nothing Is entile* e*e>m*e I that Iri mil FJizabe-lhaii or (hmrglun. --- The Early Bird. UMlOp I'lVU MliT of < *C»||||«><'tl«,|lt Is iiolnl for liis fiimi> stories, nml IIIh latest Ik mi ill l<» In* about an old repro halt* who derided to repent and ail noiini-i'd to every mu that whatever wrollg In* li:i11 doin' should hi* imido right, '• a mail whom In* had i heated out ol i large sum of money went around at midnight to demand It. “But w hat did you mine at this hour for and wake me upV Why not wait till tomorrowV" said the old sinner ‘ I mine now." replied the inau, “to avoid the rush.” Harper s Weekly A Dogs' Academy. There Is an aeadem\ for eanlneH In a certain South London hnrotigh whleli Is known to all the prominent elivurt people of lairope, and which Is tin* “old school" ol many of the perform* Im? doirs In Ureal Bill till at the pres ent time. I he interior is fitted up with trape/i etc and day hy day all soil ol pei I on 111 n K canines are taught their e|i-ver Irhks. II is per haps linnet e ar\ t<» tidd that the pro prietor ell jo' the heiield of II llfst i him I net line London Captain. ('ll loinei do I. i ml! a * I > i Will you tell me W ||\ there Icldd he two Hies III my imp I liei e i none in that man's over theie I amlla l\ till. It's lust U ipn (ion < f lot I sir. I'llegende Blat ter foreital l»H. Mrs. i i.i |«»i l Whv \va your hus hand intti'c inary than usual when lie mine holm o lale? Mr- < 'rahshuw - \ oil sec, dear, I woke Up he fore lie had time to ei the t loci, hark Harper's. His Motto. ■ fnihlev ' .i> hi motto i . ‘f.1 \<* and learn ' " "Well, if he isn't more suec. sful at the former than the latter we’ll he go ing to his funeral soon.** Lxehange. Both Out and In The Needy One I say, old man, eouhl you lend me a dollar for a day or t wo7 The Other One My dear fel low, the dollar I lend is out at present, ami I've several names down for it when it come* hark Harper's Weekly. impertinent “When I wa coming home last night." said .Miss Skerry, I saw a mail skulking along in the shadow. Oh, how I rail!" "An’ eouldn't you eateli him?” Inquired her little brother in nocently. Cleveland Leader. YOUR NERVES. The Most Untiring of All Are Those of the Heart. Tin* most easily tired nerves in the body an* tin* luu'vrs of smell. They rau detect tin* faintest whiff of per fume. As you pass a rose in the gar den the quantity of perfume Unit gets into your nostril must he many mil lions of Pillions of time.; smaller than tin* tiniest grain of sand. Hut rub the strongest perfume on your upper Up ami In a few seconds you fail to no tice it. the nerve of smell is so quickly fatigued. The heat nerves and cold nerves, which are quite distinct from the ner\es of ordinary sensation, also give over working very quickly. A bath that seems quite hot when you step into it very soon reuses to cause |iny part i* iliar feeling of heat. Nerves of hearing and sight can go through an enormous amount of work. For sixteen hours a day they work hard and are still willing to do more. The nerves id' the heart are the most untiring of all. From tin* first dawn of life until (lie last gasp they work without stopping for one instant. And even after death If some salted water Is pumped Into the heart it coni mem os to beat again, showing that the nerves are still willing. Pearson's Weekly. HE REVISED IT. Young Author Was Anxious to Comply With the Editor's Request. “Your story imssosses merit,” wrote the kindly magazine editin' in return ing a manuscript to a shuffling young author of Washington, “but you have embellished it with too much descrip tion. atmosphere and other irrelevant matter Wlmt we want Is a story set ting out the simple facts facts. Just plain facts. If you will revise your story according to our ideas, we will be glad to pay you $l!o for it." A few days later the editor got tlio following from the struggling young author of Washington: “Herew ith revised story. Please send cheek lq return mail, as 1 need the money." And this was the story as rewritten: ‘Monas loved Eliza, but he was poor, and wealth\ papa kicked. Jonas went into Wall street and made a million, lueldentalh bankrupting papa. Then Eliza weld fishing, fell oil’ a log Into the mill pond, and Jonas fished her out. Papa relented and borrowed a hun dred thousand from Jonas. Marriage." Washington Post Explosion of Gasoline. A gasoline tank rarely explodes, it cannot unless it contains gasoline va por and air in explosive proportions, wlii' li latter condition Is almost never present. It does not explode because It con tains too little nlr or too null'll gaso line. Even If a tank of gasoline were to burst from heat applied to lls ex terior I he eouliued heavy gas would not explode If In eoiituct w ith flame or fire, but would burn Instead. True, a tank of gasoline with no vent eotild do eoiisldoraMe damage were It to burst and throw burning oil and tlamiiig gas about, but polio gallons of gasoline in a vessel's bilges would not Ik* so dangerous from explosion us a ItiimlreiKli of that amount. The larger quuntlly would burn rapidly, w hile the smaller would be sutllelent, if mixed with tin* proper amount of air, to ut ferly demolish almost any boat.—Sci entltie Ainerieaii. Aldrich's Birthplace. Tl»«* *|ii• ii111 old town by tin* Hen rail ed Portsmouth is |lie only seiieoust town in New Iliini|»sliire and Is one of our \ ei \ oldest sellleinents, for it was founded in (lie year lblid, and it lias a history worth knowing. It was au old town when Thomas Halley Aldrich was born in one of its quaint and Ulieleiil houses on the 11th of Novem ber In tie* year 1Ndd, and he has writ ten n very delightful book about Ports mouth called “An (»Jd Town by the Sea," while Ids famous “Story of a Had Hoy’’ Is a very true account of Ills boyhood in the New Hampshire seaport. .1 I. I lai hour In St. Nicholas. Cut Rato Contributors. In a certain parish of (Ireater New York the rector, while admonishing his Hock on Sunday last that the collection basket receipts were steadily growing less, took occasion to declare that “cer tain parishioners contribute according to their means, but others give in keep ing with their mealiness.’* He added that in measure such exhibitions of false pretense reminded him of the story told of the pilgrim fathers upon their arrival at Plymouth Hock, “First they fell upon their knees; then they fell upon the aborigines.** It Is one of the strangest things In life how few people have settled 111 their own minds w hat It is they really want or who will take tin* trouble to be happy. “I have often thought how luiK'li I should like to d<» so and so," we hear people say, and nine times out •>! ten It Is something they cotlld vi*r\ easily have done, only they al ways put It off. London Spectator. My Hair Don’t have a falling out with your hair. It might leave you! Then what? That would mean thin, seraggly, uneven, rough hair. Keep your hair at home! hasten it tightly to your scalp! You can easily do it with Ayer’s Hair Vigor. It is something more than a simple hair dress ing. It is a hair medicine, a hair tonic, a hair food. The boat kind of a testimonial — “Sold for over sixty years." The Folly of Delay.