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HENRY A. PARSONS, Jr., Editor and Publisher. NIX, DESPERAJSTDTJM. . Two Dollars per Annum.
YOL. III. BIDGWAY, ELK COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, FUBBtTAHY 12, 1874. yo- 5Q Rejected. " Peril dps she's dancing eomeTvhflrft How ? " The thoughts of light and music wake Bharp jealousies, that ridw ami grow Till silence and the (lr.r1;uewi ache. He sees her step, B0 proud mid gay, Which ere )e foke, foretold despair j Tims did sjo look on such a day, And s-jch the fashion of her hair. And thus she stood, when, stooping low, Trie took the bramble from her dress : And thus Bhe laughed and talked, whose " No," Was sweeter than another's " YeB." He feeds on thouhgts that most deject ( He impudently feigns her charms, Bo reverenced in his own respect, ClaBped dreadfully in other arms. And turns and puts his brows that ache, Against the pillww where 'tis cold : If only now his heart would break But, oh, how much a heart can hold 1 HALF AX HOUR TOO LATE. Half an hour too late 1 I have heard these words oftener than many others in the English language. They possess for me a deep significance. How many trials, troubles, mortifications and dis appointments have followed in their train. I never could explain why these few syllables had had so much influence vover my whole life. I know of no better reason than that I was born half an hour too late; for I cannot help think' ing that had I made my appearance on the world's stage just thirty minutes sooner, all would have been well. But it was manifest destinj.nd I must submit with as good a grace as pos Bible. Some ill-natured people have asserted that it was my own fault, and I could overcome it; a bad habit, and nothing more. mistaken souis I it would be just as appropriate to say that the sun had a habit of rising in the East, when everybody knows that that luminary is obliged to rise in that direction. My mother says I had no teeth until long alter the Age in which such appen dages usually appear, and ftlso adds Al. 1. -1. 1. 1 t i . mat sue iiau iears lest j. should never walk alone. Now I leave it to competent judges, a -Uid possibly nave exer cised any 'influence over those two mat ters Oould I have teeth before the timi, or could I walk before my limbs ere strong enough to support my Vody 1 I think not, and have therefore decided that destiny decrees metocome after everybody else; the two instances in point which 1 have quoted, proving, beyond a doubt, that I have no control over the fact. As I became older I was sent to school. I was invariably called twice by my mother, before l could be per suaded to leave my bed.ind, of course, was half an hour too late for breakfast. and proportionably tardy at school. It always happened so, and the results were uniformly the same; a scolding from mv mother, threats from mv fath- er, and generally something- worse from rnv teacher. I tried to reform in this particular ; but as often as I made a good reso lution, I found my shoe-string in a hard knot, my comb and brush were missing, my cap was not to be found. or some other impediment stood in the way ; and to this day I firmly believe the worthy pedagogue used frequently to set his watch along half an hour, on purpose to vex me. 1'he classes for 11? 11 1. . recitation was canen long beiore L was prepared, and I spent the whole dav in trying to overtake the minutes I had lost. " Gilbert," said my father, " go up to jur. nan s, ana ten him that l will take tha twelve barrels of apples looked at, at the price he named. Go directly there, and don't forget your errcvna. " And, Gilbert," added my mother, stopping me at the door, "if you should want your new coat made to-morrow, call and speak to Miss Graves about it. I believe she is disengacred lust now. You had better go in on the wav to Mr. t-T,.ll' J I promised compliance, and determin ing to acquit myself creditably, inline diately set out. About half way there, a sudden gust of wind blew off mv hat. and I spent some time in recovering it; then I went on again, only stopping a few miuutes to admire "a little ship which a boy was sailing by the road. V"icKeniug my steps, i knocked at air. Hall's door, and told him my errand. "ion are too late, my lad; I sold tha lot half an hour ago." lie replied. My countenance fell as he spoke the v t woras that i had heard only too often. " Don t look so disappointed," he added, k'ndly, " there are other apples Al. A i ... mui, yuui muier can buy. This remark ionsnlrl ma Vint, littlo for I was thinking of my race after the hat, and tho time I had spent at the tiny ship. As I walked slowly home, ruminating on my bad luck, my new coat and Miss Graves popped into my mind. I would at least do one errand successfully, and accordingly made known my business. "If you had called a little while ago, I could have done it : but I have just made an engagement of a fort night," was the reply of the lady. Half an hour too Jate, as usual Why did I not stop on my way as mother had advised me, and as I had purposed do ing ? I was greatly troubled, and ready to cry, at this seoond failure, for I had set my heart upon wearing my new coat at a party which one of my school com- bum jur Biuiy. iiuu lurKotuuK to men 1 1 . .i. L I 1 1 : i tion my chase alter the nying hat. oon- nnrirt? mat n Hiimmftrit iiiHtinrnr.inn in y uciuv. ' Just as I expected I said my father, ; l i t 1 1 m i i , Hr llll III'I.IIHI 111 I 1 M 11H. IIP II I1H U i i t T in l i8 ail xi is aays. - ..,,.41 a.t it T IT iuuiuct jiicicir CwniADU lilinu At M A rirniiGrnt. mv nut. tn hor fn naTA Tia H11UKD DCVTCU Uli.'UU DUD UBU UUWKHI U1Q nM I-- l, 1, J 1 the day before, that trouble would have i i i mi 1 1 ii p.eiuu, ttyoiaea. ,iuu who mi uuiu fort I got from her. She well knew that being obliged to wear the old coat two weeks longer would be quite punish ment enough for negleoting her advice. My father's temper was not improved, upon learning, the next day, that apples naa risen nity cents per barrel, making him a loser of six dollars, by my being half an hour too late. At last my lather thought of a happy expedient. He would put me in a store; there I should Lave another master, and would feel mynulf called upon to please him. As if I did not try to please everybody 1 It was the whole aim of my life ; but incessantly counterbalanced by the evil genius that attended me wherever I went. For a week I escaped any severe reprimand for my habitual failing. Natnrally enough, I felt grati fied, and determined to make myself useful to my employer, who was an active business man, and liked industri ous clerks. "A number of pieces of those dress goods must be sent for Mrs. A to examine to-day," he remarked, early one morning. " She is a good custom er, and will probably purchase some forty or fifty dollars' worth." I was about selecting the goods, when I recollected that it was imperatively necessary that I should make out sev eral accounts without delay. Some considerable time was consumed in at tending to this duty, and it was noon before I was aware of it. Dispatching my dinner as quickly as possible, I hastened back to the store, and com menced assorting the different fabrics for Mrs. A . I stopped a moment at hearing my employer's voice. " That letter was copied and mailed, of course ?" " I believe so," respondsd a fellow clerk, and went quietly on with his work. It was a mistake. The letter had not been copied. I had been told to do it; but customers were waiting, and con sidering them of more consequence than a mere letter, I had put it off the night before, designing to accomplish the task the first thing in the morning. But I had forgotten it, until reminded of my remissness by what I had heard. I hurried to the desk, on some frivolous pretence, and speedily copied the U t ter, superscribed it, and seizing my hat, hastened to the post-office. The mail had been gone an hour, and my efforts availed nothing. It was the old story, and I felt discouraged and dis heartened. Hiding the letter in my pocket, I re turned to the employment which had been interrupted, resolving not to leave it until Mrs. A was in safe posses sion of the goods. The errand-boy be ing otherwise engaged. I took the pack age along myself, rang the bell, and de sired to see the lady. After some delay, she appeared. "Goods for yon to examine, from Brown & Burt's, I said, with a respect ful bow." I thought Mrs. A looked some what out of humor, and her reply con vinced me that I was not mistaken. " You can take them back again," she rejoined, coldly. "I .supplied myself half an hour ago at another place. I desired them to be Bent this morning ; and if your employer does not in any measure govern himself by the wishes of his customers, he must take the con sequences. I waited until I was out of patience." The lady turned away, and I trudged back with the goods. Twice m one day ! It was too much to be borne. And so thought my employer, who coolly dischared me, after assuring me that through my want of punctuality he had lost one ol his best customers. 1 then frankly told him about tho letter, He was more angry than before, and vehemently asserted that the delay would prove fatal to his credit. Jeered by my fellow clerks, and con founded by the unexpected resentment which I encountered, I went home again, only to have the scene renewed, My mother looked unhappy, and my father met me with a frown, an indica tion of displeasure which I so often re ceived, that I had become used to it. I was now eighteen years of age, and old enough, he said, to put away childish things, and become a man. " Gilbert," he added, with emphasis. "why don't you overcome this propen sity to oe always late? Mate an effort, my son, a strong effort." An effort ! Had not my whole exist ence been a continued, tremendous effort to throw off the spell that weighed me down ; that stood in the way of my prosperity ; that lost me friends, and gained me enemies ; that was a source of disquiet to myself, and everybody wno nad tue mistortune to be connected with me. I wished much to go to sea. My latner nad an acquaintance, who was an old sea-captain, and he was willing (for I was of no use to him), provided pre liminaries could be arranged satisfac torily, that I should accompany him on his next voyage. No objection was made to this proposal on the part of the captain, and, much delighted, I com menced preparations. My mother was serious, not sad. With her accustomed kindness and ma ternal solicitude, she disposed my wardrobe in a large trunk, gave me good advice, besought me to obey the captain in every particular, and hoped the change would be for my benefit. " Endeavor to conquer your besetting sin, my child," she added, with a moth er's earnestness. " Make a good reso lution, and keep it ; respect yourself, and others will respect you. If you fail, try again, and persevere until you obtain the victory. A man is a slave so long as he permits a bad habit to rule him imperiously." I was sorry she brought up this disa greeable theme to dampen my exuber ant spirits at such a time : but recol lecting her interest in my welfare, I promised (that was easily done) all she could ask. I put my imagination at active employment, and pictured scenes of grandeur far surpassing everything l nad seen. My highest anticipations were now about to be realized. I could hardly control my joy, so greatly was X elated at the prospect before me. I promised souvenirs of my travels to my less for tunate friends, and stowed away large quantities of writing materials, which I purposed to use in inditing long and interesting epistles to those behind. The captain of the vessel had written to my father word when he expected me on board, and in pursuance of his direc tions, I took leave of my parents, and started for the city, whioh was some two miles distant. On the way I hap pened to think of an intimate aoquaint anoe, to whom I had not said one part ing word. Confident that I had plenty of time, I diverged a little from the main road, and chanced to nnd him at home. My good fortune was repeated for his edification, mutual good wishes were interchanged, and with ft light heart, I resumed my walk. The dis tance was at last accomplished. I stepped upon the wharf hurriedly, and entered the office to look after my bag gage, which had been sent on before. 1 soon had it in safe keeping, and then began to make inquiries concerning the vessel in which 1 was to take passage. Judge of my sensations on being told that the ship had sailed without me I actually left the wharf precisely half an hour before I arrived 1 He could wait no longer. Thus were my expec tations again frustrated, and my hopes crushed. 1 had certainly started from home soon enough ; it was the unlucky call that had done the mischief. In my excitement I accused the captaiu of un fair dealing, denounced myself in no measured terms, and charged every body with injustice. I apprehended nothing so much as facing my parents dejected, humiliated and humbled as I was but there was no help for it ; it must be done. I reluctantly set my face homeward, and with dispirited step moved along at a snail's pace. I dr ?aded my mother's reproachful glance, my father's bitter and cutting words, but more than all the mirth and ridi cule of my acquaintances, when they should learn of the downfall of my air castles. These reflections were not very gratifying, yet I could not rid my self of them. It was no use trying to do anything, or to be anybody ; that ominous half an hour too late haunted me at every corner, and met me at every turn. " Gilbert !" ejaculated my mother, looking the picture of astonishment, as I timidly entered the house, having in effectually tried to put on an air of boldness. "I'm discouraged it's all to no pur pose I" I exclaimed, sullenly throwing myself into a chair. " The ship had sailed, I suppose ?" said my father, interrogatively, display ing no more surprise than though he had anticipated my return. I nodded in the affirmative. " No mere than I expected," he re joined, taking up his book, and begin ning to read just where he had left off upon my entrance. It was the most severe remark he could have made under the circum stances. I fathomed the feelings that gave rise to it, and they were far from complimentary to myself, and I smoth ered my rising resentment, and retired to my own room. That night my kind mother talked with me a long time ; but I was in no mood to be benefited by her words of counsel, and only grieved her tender nature by my mo roseness and ill humor. I did not soon forget the merciless joking of my com panions, nor the ridicule they so un sparingly heaped upon me. But at last it grew to be an old story, and I was gradually freed from their persecutions. I was named for a wealthy bachelor uncle, and often had hopes that he would make me his heir. He visited our family but seldom ; knew but little about my brother and sister, and less about me, who was the youngest. A letter came to hand, however, about twelve months after my futile attempt at traveling, saying that he should spend some time with us. He was ec centric and whimsical, but good-hearted and oenevoient. lie observed me closely, and evidently detected my weak point at once. By his actions, I felt sure 1 did not please him, and being iretted at his constant watching. took less pains to secure his good will than I ought. The evening before his departure, he requested my brother, my sister, and myself to go up to his room, as he wished a little social con versation with us. I anticipated a lec ture on my short comings and staid away purposely ; but afterward, think ing I might possibly be mistaken, con cluded to risk it. Vain attempt I I met my brother and sister on the stairu, each in possession of a hundred dol lars a eift from mv uncle, who de clared that if I did not respect his wishes enough to be present, I must go without my share. I was too proud to tell him the cause of my non-appearance, and with the luckless half hour vanished all hopes of becoming an heir, or receiving a present. Well, I attained my majority. I was twenty-one, and must begin to look out for myself. To be brief, I contem plated matrimony. I had long loved a charming girl (she wasn t aware of it, however), and I decided to pop the question at once. I intimated the fact to my father; he liked my choice, and promised me capital to commence busi ness with, obviously being of the opinion that it would be for my interest to marry. Thus encouraged, I sought the lady, wnose attractions i nave never seen equaled. I found her alone, looking lovelier than ever. With much trepida tion, the all important declaration was made, and 1 awaited the issue in des perate suspense. My charmer looked both surprised ana perplexed, was painfully embarrassed, and colored ex cessively. As noar as I could deter mine, the svmrjtoms looked favorable. and my heart beat high with hope. But X was mistaken; her first words unde ceived me. Bhe stammered something about " a misunderstanding, wrong im pressions, regret that her conduct had been so construed, thanks for the intended honor," and the like, con cluding by saying " that she had en gaged herself to somebody else half an hour before" I was answered. Half an hour be fore I If there was ever a man to be pitied, it was surely myself. But I might have known better than to have made the foolish trial. The experiment taught me a lesson; I have never spoken of love to a woman since. 1 am a cross, fretful old bachelor now. What has made me so? Nothing but the half hour too late. II I attempt to go to church, the minister has invariably oommeneed his sermon beiore X enter, leaving me entirely in the dark as to his subject. If I go to a concert to hear some landed singer, X hare to take a seat under the gallery, where I can see nobody, and hear nothing. Thus 1 exist, continually harassed by vexatious delays and disappointments. The patience of my former friends is exhausted; they tolerate me, and that is all. If I say positively, " yon may expect me I will certainly be there, they look at each other significantly and smile in a provokingly incredulous manner. That I am an unfortunate man, none will deny who have a spark of sympathy in their souls. What do Tour Children Read! A bad book, magazine, or newspaper, is as dangerous to your child as a vici ous companion, and will as surely cor rupt his morals and lead him away from the paths of safety. Every parent should set this thought clearly before his mind, and ponder it well. Xiook to what vour children read, and especially to the kind of papers that get into their hands, for there are now published scores of weekly papers, with attractive and sensuous illustrations, that are as hurtful to young and innocent souls as poison to a" healthful body. Many of these papers have attained large circulations, and aue sowing broadcast the seeds of vice and crime. Trenching on the borders of indecency, they corrupt the morals, taint the im agination, and allure the weak and un guarded from the paths of innocence. The danger to young persons from this cause was never so great as at this time; and every father and mother should be on guard against an enemy that is sure to meet their child. Our mental companions the thoughts and feelings that dwell within us when alone, and influence over our actions these are what lifts us up or drags us down. If your child has pure and good mental companions, he is safe ; but if, through corrupt books and papers, evil thoughts and impure imaginings gets into his mind, his danger is imminent. Look to it, then, that your children are kept as free as possible from this taint. Never bring into your house a paper or periodical that is not strictly pure, and watch carefully lest any such get into the hands of your growing-up boys. Divorce Lawyers. A bill has been introduced in the Illinois legislature providing heavy penalties against professional divorce lawyers. Doubtless many half-fledged and unprincipled legal gentlemen in Chicago have found a very lucrative business in the divorce line. A little knowledge of court practice, familiarity with the local statutes and a few precedents are all the qualifications necessary to be added to a great amount of audacity in such a character. Chicago has gained a somewhat unenviable notoriety in years past from this class, and all good citizens would like to see such a law as this succeed. We think we know another pretty good field of operations for it. Every day advertisements appear in certain newspapers of this city to the effect that certain " attorneys " will procure divorces without publicity. If there is no case, they can make one. By the use of regular spies, miscalled detec tives, they can easily draw men or women into situations where naturally they would never be found, and under such circumstances that, the whole truth being known, they are not culpa ble Then the professional witnesses, who only escape the consequences of perjury because the persons against whom they appear would not stoop to impeach them, are brought in to finish the " overwhelming " testimony against the defendant. If there is any way to get rid of these professional mischief makers, it ought to be tried. New York Evening Post, Liquor in the System. An English authority, Dr. Brunton, gives some itemsof importance to wine drinking persons. His hypothesis is that alcohol produces a successive par alysis of different parts of the nervous system. First, the vaso-motor nerves are affected, and the blood-nerves con sequently dilated. That is, the hands, for instance, become red and plump, showing that arterial blood is flowing freely through the capillaries, and at the same time the veins are dilated. Sometimes the vessels of the stomach are dilated, and the blood is abstracted from the brain, the individual becom ing sleepy ; sometimes the arteries of the head are filled first, and the intel lectual faculties are excited. Different portions of the btain also are stimulated or paralyzed. Thus the centre, or the convolutions which govern the co-ordinate movements, may be paralyzed, and the man may be " drunk in his legs though fnot in his head," while the cerebral lobes may be less affected, or the reverse may take place. It often happens that the cerebellum is paralized while the spinal-cord is unaffected, so that a man, who cannot walk, may be able to ride, owing to the reflex con traction of the musoles of his thighs against the pressure of the saddle. The final paralysis is of the spinal cord, producing the extraordinary nervous diseases so common now, and of the medullaoblongata which causes general paralysis of the whole system. Influence of Food. An excellent hint is given in the fol lowing item : Dr. Hall relates the case of a man who was cured of his bilious ness by going without his supper and drinking freely of lemonade. Every morning, says the doctor, this patient arose with a wonderful sense ol rest and refreshment, and feeling as though the blood had been literally washed, cleansed and cooled by the lemonade and fast. His theory is that food can be used as a remedy for many diseases successfully. As an example, he cures spitting of blood br the UBe of salt ; epilepsy, by watermelons ; kidney affec tions, by celery ; poison, by olive or sweet oil: erysipelas, by pounded cran berries applied to the part affeoted ; hydrophobiaj by onions, etc. So the way to keep in good health is really to know what to eat and what medicines to take. Every member of Congress from Minnesota was raisedm Maine. The Kindergarten. The Kindergarten, or " Child's Gar den," system of instruction, which is now established throughout Germany, is practiced to some extent in this country. Nothing, says M. Bonrleton, a French writer, is more interesting than a visit to a German Kindergarten. It consists of a large, well-ventilated structure, to which is attached a garden planted with trees and flowers. The children occupy its various rooms ac cording to age, the boys on one side and the girls on the other ; a child is admitted as soon as it can walk ; they number all sizes from two to six years of age. Frcebel, the originator of the system, was averse to sending children to regular schools before the age of seven. The children of the rich have Kindergarten of their own, for which a charge of seven dollars a year is made, while the Kindergarten for the poor are free excepting an average charge of one and a half cents per day for two meals supplied to them. Froebel's educational system is based on experience. All infants like to play; give them, then, as curious playthings as you can. They soon tire of curious things which they do not comprehend, and before which they remain passive spectators ; infants accordingly break toys to pieces and in turn fashion some thing else, a restless activity ever ob taining out of fragments new materials for more interesting objects. The fash ioning of something new out of some thing old or chaotic, is a natural in stinct. Froebel devoted himself to regulating this creative infantile in stinct, the recognition of which is so important in the development of the faculties of observation and imagina tion. He accordingly organized the Kindergarten with a view to an exercise of the infantile hand and mind by easy work and simple amusements, while he disciplined the understanding by sing ing and by games of ever increasing complexity. In carrying out this plan never did he depart from the scope of infantile accomplishment. Ler us visit one of the kindergartens for the poor. It is 9 o'cloek in the morning, and the children enter, bring ing along with them a small bit of bread to eat before the midday meal. An inspection for cleanliness takes place no large spots, holes or rents are allow ed. all this, indeed, being forestalled by tlie pride as well as interests of the parents. Each child passed to its place at a table on which playthings are dis played ; the smallest occupy themselves with little wooden blocks, building walls, gateways and houses, each com peting with the other. An idea of lines, shapes and proportions every concep tion, in fact, necessary in the perfection of a high or complicated edifice is awakened in their little brains. Each observes his neighbor's work and, when invention nags, copies and imitates, Talking is permitted, and, thanks to every one being occupied with his own work, there is no noise. The more advanced pupils are given more difficult tasks, borne weave to gether strips of paper of different colors and of symmetrical design, like squares, circles, stars and other shapes which require closer attention. 1'rac- tice renders the children skillful, it be ing surprising to see how rapidly the paper glides through their fingers and issues iroiu mem iu proper huuo. Others fill up with a lead-pencil pro gressive geometrical designs traced be forehand, and, which are afterwards re produced without the model with re markable accuracy. Others execute in transparency, with the point of a pin, houses, dogs and flowers, or repeat the outlines of these objects in worsted work. An hour of physical exercise always follows an hour of labor. Then comes singing, which is learnt by ear; then marching about the floor, turning and winding as in a ballet; then sporting in the garden with small spades, consist ing of digging in the ground and build ing up or excavating tenements of all kinds. A part of the time is devoted to gymnastic exercises. The children are made to stretch their arms and fingers, and stand on tiptoe; play soldier, and finally practice games, devised by Froe bel himself specially to exercise the or gans of hearing, touch and sight. Many a time, says our author, the results have astonished me. On visiting a Kinder garten of sixty pupils X have witnessed a sort of blindman's buff, in which every ohild in turn had to guess, by an exclamation, the name 01 the child who seized its hand. Not one in so large a crowd made a mistake. These exercises develop, to a remark able degree, perspicacity and thought- fulness, while a love of labor under this form becomes seductive. The children are eager to get to a school where all is frolic; and every evening they take back some new acquisition to their families. Children are naturally open and com municative, and are consequently cheer ful; the child who is supposed, apriori, to be of a good disposition, is led wholly - by gentleness and kindness. Bovs and girls are treated alike. The children are not taught either reading or writing; but when they leave the Kindergarten and go to regular schools their progress is much more rapid than that of other children; the schoolmasters all agree that the Kindergarten gradu ates excel others in vivacity of intellect. Froebel's aim was to make children thoroughly understand that which is ordinarily only indicated to them; they are obliged to talk and get excited, their intellect, in a word, being ren dered active in matters where it is usually passive. There remains one point more on whioh to say something, and that is the philosophy of punishment. In princi ple, punishment is not considered tither as curative or with a view to make an example. It is avoided as much as pos sible. Never is the child whipped ; on the contrary it is placed in a corner, away from the playthings, and when convinced that it has done wrong, the punishment ceases, lasting but a short time and ending when repentance shows itself. The object is to let the ohild see that labor, far from being a trial, is really a pleasure, true punishment con sisting of a privation of work. Children are never praised on account of their dexterity, skill being regarded ss the natural result of labor ; there is no smiling at awkwardness, no word being uttered that will provoke rivalry. Such are the principles and operation of the German Kindergarten. When one considers the mischief done to youth through the slinmlating oi precocious taieut ttuu niomjuijr w the brain by forcing it to entertain in comprehensible abstractions, both being evils in the bringing tip of our youth, it is well to study a system like that oi Froebel's, which seems to insure a sound, healthy, natural development, by not bending tho twig in a wrong direction. The Arkansas Classic. WTiflnAver th history of American humorous literature shall be thoroughly and justly written, it must show that many of what are deemed the novel types of local charactor, back-woods comedy, and " dialectical" speech in present comic writing, had their first exposition in the native facetire of years ago. It is worth while, then, for liter ary journalism to revive occasionally some of the earlier comicalities of do mestic print ; and amongst these the inimitable sketch of "The Arkansas Traveler" herewith restored to cur rency deserves particular credit for its racy human nature. The scene is that of a dilapidated log cabin in Arkansas. Its characters a trapper seated upon an inverted tub, playing the first part of a familiar air upon an old violin, and nis wiie ana children. A stranger enters, and the following colloquy ensues : Stranger flow do you do, sir t Are you well ? Trapper stranger, km you can a man who eats three square meals a day, drinks hearty and sleeps sound "well?" fFiddles.' Stranger I think I could. How long have you been living here ? Trapper uye see mat mountain thar? Stranger Well. Trapper That worh'yar when I come hyar. (Fiddles.) Stranger Thank you ior tne mior mation. Trapper You are welcome. Stranger Can I stay here to-night ? Trapper Well you can't stay h yar. Stranger How long will it take me to get to the next tavern ? Trapper Well, you'll not get there at all, if you stand thar xooiin with me all night. (Fiddles.) Stranger How far do you call it to the next tavern t Trapper I reckon it's upwards o' some distanee. Stranger Do you keep any spirits in this house ? Trapper I guess thar is plenty down in the graveyard. (Fiddles.) Stranger How do you cross the river ahead ? Trapper The ducks swim across. (Fiddles.) Stranger How far is it to the forks of the road ? Trapper The roads ain't forked yet in these diggings. (Fiddles.) Stranger Where does this road go to? Trapper Well, it ain't moved a step since I've been h'yar. Stranger Why don't you repair the roof of your house ? It must leak. Trapper 'Cos it has been raining like all creation for three weeks. (Fiddles.) Stranger Why don't you mend it when it's not raining ? Trapper 'Cos then it don't leak. (Fiddles.) Stranger Why don't you play the second part of that tune ? Trapper 'Cos I don't know it ; kin you? Stranger I can. Trapper You km ! Look h'yar, stranger, any man who can play the seo ond part of that tune kin go right into Congress onto it. Strange Give my the fiddle. (Takes fiddle and plays the entire tune.) Trapper (yelling with joy) That's it.by golll .Do it again, stranger. Yahey, yourself at home. You can stay a week liv an' die h'yar if it's agreeable. H yar, Sal, bring out that jug, an go an dig some saxatrack root, an make the stranger a cup of tea. Shake hands again, stranger ! l$y goa, you re a trump you are ! X'lay it again ! Judging by Appearances. Resting over night at a pretentions hotel, and breakfasting very heartily there in the morning, was an aged stranger whose unspeakably seedy at tire, while it had been unnoticed in the dark hours of his arrival, excited the dire distrust of the officials of the house s revealed by daylight. Sorely bus icious was the superb clerk of the es tablishment that the latter was to be wronged of its dues by some trick or plea of this venerable shabby guest, and ween the latter, having dispatched his meal, presented himself at the desk with an admonitory cough, his doubts became a certainty. " I have had my breakfast," began the aged man, deliberately, " and can dor compels me to say " " Hand over the money, you old rascal," interrupted the clerk, in rage. " As I was saying," resumed the stranger, placidly, " candor compels me to inform you " " uau a policeman! roared the cierk to a bull-boy. " We'll have our twelve shillings or you go to the lock up." The boy started upon his errand without apparent notice from him of the seedy costume, wno, taking nis own time to draw forth from some obscure pocket a vast and greasy wallet, quietly repeated: " As X was saymg, X ve had my break fast, and here's your twelve shillings ; but candor compels me to inform you that them mashed potatoes was lovely perfectly lovely, sir; and I dont miuu inrowiug tu a suiuing extra ior em. According to the account of a recent visitor in bU Petersburg, winter in lius sia is quite ainerent irom winter in America. It commences early in No vember, when the days and nights are almost of equal temperature. The sun is not on dutv long enough to anonm, plish much; he rises about 'nine and sets before three. The snow is not deep, nor are the storms severe: but it snows a little almost constantly. Do Ton Want to Buy a Dog I fcn Advertiser's Eiperlence-How Buffer wu Mnde to " Bee ' I can't see it," lays Buffer. "No body reads all these nttie advertise ments. It's preposterous to think of it" But." said the editor, " you reaa what interests you. Yes And' if there's anything you par ticularly want you look for it ?' " Certainly. " Well, among the thousands upon thousands who help to make up this busy world of ours, everything that is printed is read. Sneer as you please, I da assure you mat printer s ins is mo true open sesame to all business sue- CH8." And still Buffer couldn't see it. He didn't believe that one-half of those lit tle crowded advertisements were ever read. " Suppose you try the experiment, said the editor. " Just slip in an ad vertisement of the want of one of the more common things in the world. For the sake of the test I will give it two insertions free. Two will be enough, and you may have it in any out of the way nook in my paper you shall select. Two insertions of only two lines. Will you try it ?" Buffer said of course he would try it. And he selected the place where he would have it published crowded in under the head of "Wonts." And he waited and saw a proof of his advertise ment, which appeared as follows : " Wanted A good house dog. Ap ply to J. Buffer, 575 Towser street, be tween the hours of 6 and 9 p. M." Buffer went away smiling and nod ding. On the following morning he opened his paper, and, after a deal of hunting, he found his advertisement. At first it did not appear at all con spicuous. Certainly so insignificant a paragraph, buried in such a wilderness of paragraphs, could not attract atten tion. After a time it began to look more noticeable to him. The more he looked at it the plainer it grew. Finally it glared at him from the closely-printed page. But that was because Tie was the person particularly interested. Of course it would appear conspicuous to him. But it could not be so to others. That evening Mr. Buffer was just sit ting down to tea (Buffer was a plain, old-fashioned man, and took tea at six) when his door bell was rung. The ser vant announced that there was a man at the door with a dog to sell. " Tell him I don't want one." Six times Buffer was interrupted while taking tea by men with dogs to sell. Buffer was a man who would not lie. He had put his foot in and he must take it out manfully. The twen ty-third applicant was a small boy, with a girl in company, wno naa a raggea, dirty poodle for sale. Buffer bought the poodle of the boy and immediately presented it to the girl, and then sent them off. To the next applicant he was able truthfully to answer, "Don't waDt any more ; I have bought one." The stream of callers continued until near ten o'clock, at which hour Buffer locked np and turned off the gas. On the following evening, as Buffer approached the house, he found a crowd assembled. He counted thirty-nine men and boys, each of whom had a dog in tow. There were dogs of every grade, size and color, and dogs of every quality of whine, yelp, bark, growl and howl. Buffer addressed the motley multitude and informed them that he had purchased a dog. " Then what d yer advertise for r And Buffer got his hat knocked over his eyes before he reached the sanctuary of his home. Never mind about the trials and tribulations of that night. Buffer had no idea there were so many dogs in ex istence. With the aid of three police men he got through alive. On the next morning he visited his mend, the edi tor, and acknowledged the corn. The advertisement of " wanted" was taken out, and in the most conspicuous place and in glaring type, he advertised that he didn't want any more dogs. And for the advertisement he paid. Then he went home and posted on his door, "Gone into the country." Then he hired a special policeman to guard his property, and then he locked up and went away with his family. From that day Josephus Xsuner has never been heard to express doubts concerning the efficacy of printer's ink ; neither has he asked, " Who reads ad vertisemets ?" An Editorial Story, A good story is told upon some of its readers by the Dayton (Ohio) Journal, in the following: " We had a mind to invite somebody to write some solemn, dignified editorials for the Journal, but we happened to remember that we once employed one of the ablest editors in Ohio to do that sort of thing for the Journal, and three-fourths of our read ers who observed the change at all wanted to know why we allowed the Journal to be so awfully dull. It would amuse the publio if we should tell them who was employed by us and who they thought was so very dull. But we paid the bill, and allowed people to wonder how the Journal could be so dreary ; sna tne man wno wrote for ns at so much a column is one of the best edi torial writers in the country. We shall ten him the joke some ot these days, if we think he will stand it. But it was a funny experience to as modest people as we of the Journal are. Our editorial corps has chuckled over that experience several times." Gov. Safford, of Arizona, describing the clasB of people that don't get along in the West, says that " gentlemanly farmers who commence without means and have hired all their work done, will undoubtedly be obliged to quit the business ; and those whe have invested the largest portion ef their crops in gin or whisky at twenty-live cents per glass, will hardly be able to meet their obligations and inspire sufficient con fidence to obtain credit in the future." The Worcester Gazette eays that bank defalcations hang on like the polonaise. They are not ccnUned to the outskirts.