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. NIL DESPERANDUM. Two Dollars per Annum. VOL. V. 1UDGWAY, ELK COUNTY, PA., THUltSDAY, FEMIUA11Y 10, 1876. NO. 51, If They Kncw.lt. If little flowers knew it, The sorrow on my hart, Their tears with tnioe wonld me it, And less would be the smart. If nightingales could know it, My trouble and my grief, They wonld sing me to undo it A musical relief. The golden stars and tender, If they could know my paiu, Would step from out their splendor To bring mo pesos again. They know it by no token Only one knows and she Herself it is has broken And torn my heart for me." THE DYING OUTLAW. A True Btory. My pauds are almost run. My lamp of life is faintly flickering in its socket. I have escaped once more the hounds of justice, but they have given me my death wound; and ere the rising sun reaches his meridian I shall have looked my last on earth. A few more pulsations of the heart, and this old mountain cavern, which has been the scene of so many wild riots and midnight orgies, whose deep est recesses have often rung with the loud shouts of revelry, and the hoarse cry of rage, shall become my tomb. A few more labored breaths and this deep strong voice, which has so long been used to command a ruffian crew, shall become silent forever. Oh, earth, thou hast never seemed so dear 1 Oh,, life, thou hast never been so sweet as now I Yet, why should I seek to prolong a life so fraught with peril, so abandoned, so futile, so profligate. Already fifty years have gone over me, and how have I consumed them f Whom have I be friended ? Whose distress have I re lieved ? Whose conditions have I bettered ? Whose grief have I palli ated t or what tone of pity ever moved my heart The last twenty years I have passed ns chief of a bold and reckless gang of robbers and desperadoes, who have long infested tbis region, ravaging villas, plundering houses, waylaying ud robbing the luckless traveler by uight and by day, sparing no rank, heeding no cry, hearing no prayer. For twenty years I have been branded a felon, and hunted like a beast of prey. Large rewards have been offered for my capture, and troops of armed men have scoured the country in search of my " stronghold. And many a brave fellow has been hurried to his last account while daring to search for my retreat among the mountain passes. Thus far I have baffled all pursuit, and our ren dezvous has remained a secret with the gang. But to-day, after a desperate conflict with a body of troops, the last of the band has been slain or captured, aud I have escaped only to die in soli tude. Oh, how miserable a life I have ledl I would not recall the past, but it will pass in review before, me. Gladly would I draw the veil over all save that of early life, which rises before me like a blissful vision, rendered tenfold lovely by the sweet faoe of my sainted mother, radiaut with love for her merry happy boy. Ah, those were halcyon days days in which my mother strove to guide me in the way of truth aud virtue; and with tho sacred volume open ou her lap, oft drew me to her side, placed her soft hand upon my boyish head, and toying with my curly locks, taught me from its priceless pages, urged me to obey its precepts, aud emulate the wise and good whose names were written there; then with a kiss upon my ruddy cheek, told me how much it would solace her declining years should I become a man of houor, truth and worth. I grew to manhood; and then my mother's teachings were unheeded and forgotten. I formed evil associations, I drunk, I gambled, I fell. One drear and starless night I robbed a traveler on the moor; tightly clutch ing his purse of gold, I hurried to my chamber, snatched a bundle from a re- cess, crept softly down the stairway, gained the bedside of my mother, press- -ed one last kiss upon her wrinkled brow, and, receiving a murmured "God bless you " from her dreaming lips, fled, and never saw her more. When she heard of my guilt, with a bitter wail she sank beneath the stroke, and they laid her in tho valley. For two years I traversed the conti nent, roving from place to place with i o definite aim or object except to con ceal my crime. I had gold, but there was a curse on every farthing. I drank from every cup of pleasure which human ingenuity could prepare; but terror ond remorse embittered every draught. The grim aud relentless phantom which ever follows guilt pursued me every where. At length I joined a band of brigands, shared their peril and their plunder, and, by my daring and success, ere log became their leader, and thus a source of fear am. apprehension to the peaceful traveler, of dread and anxiety to the quiet home. in various guises I frequented so ciety, moving in the higher circles as a foreigner of rank and wealth. I sat at the festive board of merchant princes, I chatted in the drawing-rooms of the richest nobles of the land. I danced in halls where pride and beauty met. I whirled in tho giddy waltz with diamond decked belles, who never dreamed their gallant, dark eyed partner was the dar ing robber chief. Once, while on a brief visit to a pretty rural village, I rescued a beautiful peas ant girl from drowning ; and as 1 bore her fainting form to the cottage of her widowed mother, near at hand, I thought I had never seen a-, face of such marvel- ous beauty and loveliness. Being re " stored to consciousness and learning the situation she thanked me with such a depth cf earnestness and sincerity, and such a look of gratitude, as thrilled ' me with exquisite joy. I requested permission to call next day, which was ' granted, and thus began an acquaint ance; which grew to friendship and ripened into love. I became a daily visitor at the Cottage. I found her in telligent and educated beyond most of her clans ; artless and pure as the tin designing infant. " Oh I how bitterly my conscience hardened though it was reproved me for the deception I praoticed. Ignorant of the deceit and craftiness of the world, she placed implicit trust in me, believing me the soul of honor. Ah 1 little did she think as we rambled in the leafy grove, or sat beneath the spreading vine; as we strolled beside the moonlight stream, or lingered near the cottage door, that her tall and conrteous com panion, in whom she plaoed such child like trust, was the bold outlaw of the Alps. I told her I had rank and wealth, I told her of my vast estate and my castle on the Rhine. I asked her to be mine, and share my fortune and my gorgeous home. She consented, and we were married. On pretense of taking her to my boasted palace, I brought her to my cavern. Then, as deception was no longer practicable, I revealed the start ling fact that her husband was an out law the famous bandit chief and this cave must henceforth be her home. Ou hearing this, she gave me a look of ter ror and despair never to be forgotten, and with a cry of horror threw herself at my feet, begging me to tell her it was not true; that I was only tenting her love for me. But as the terrible truth be came more apparent from the surround ings, she grew almost wild with grief. She knelt before me, and with her hands clasped upon her bosom, implored me amid a torrent of bitterest tears to forsake this awful career, to leave this dismal place, and fly with her to some far distant land, and there in future lend a life of penitence and peace. She soon became exhausted, and with a heart broken cry of anguish sank senseless on the ground; When at length aroused she appeared more calm and tranquil, but the sun light of her young life was gone for ever. The roses never came back to her cheeks. Day by day she slowly lan guished. She always tried to wear a smile when 1 was near, though grief was gnawing like a canker at her heart. She often tried to persuade me to abandon my evil course, and hourly prayed for my reform. A year passed, and like a tender flow er plucked from its parent stem, she had drooped and declined. One day I as sisted her to the entrance of the cave, and as I took a seat beside her, I ob served that she looked paler and lovelier than usual. Leaning her head upon my breast, she said : "I feel that I am dy ing. The autumn leaves will soon strew my forest grave; but I could go happy, and sweetly rest, did I believe that yon would quit at once this wretch ed place, and lead henceforthau upright Christian life. Oh I promise me ere I die that you will grant this last request of her who never ceased to love you, even through your deepest degradation." My heart was moved as it was never moved beforard hardly knowing what I said I gave the required promise. She clasped my hand with a look of joy ou her face that had not rested there be fore for months. That night she sweetly breathed her last. And within that woodland grave my earthly happiness was buried. Instead of keeping my promise I be came more reckless than before ; aud my name becume a by-word of terror throughout the surrounding country. Thus have I lived, an enemy to myself, and a curse to mankind. And thus I die, neglected, friendless, aud alone. Rev. I. P. Booth. A Terrible Encounter. The Journal du Havre recounts a terrible encounter between the lion tamer Bidel and a number of wild beasts. Bidel's custom was to go iuto the chgo of the: e ferocious animals, accompanied by a sheep, which was by his presence kept safe from attack. ( 'n a recent oc casion he proceeded to the lion's cage, and his first act was to place tho sheep on the back of a lioness, as he had fre quently done before. No sooner had ho accomplished this than a powerful lion sprang upon the poor sheep and buried his teeth deep into a vital part o.f its body. There wai a large number of spectators present, and, as may bo imagined, the sudden act of tho lion created an instant and general panic. Bidel stepped forward, and, with tho ut most coolness, struck the lion a blow on the mouth with a heavy stick, which made him crouch and yell with pain and thvw his bleeding victim trembling at the feet of the courageous performer. In - another moment, however, all the wild beasts were lashed into fury by the sight of the blood, and no one in the as sembly believed that Bidel could possibly escape. Preserving his pres ence of mind, however, ho kept the other animals at bay until he had sub dued tho lion and chased him back to his cage. He then fought his way back through the other animals, and, amid the bravos of the assembly, came out triumphantly, carrying his wounded sheep with him. The poor animal, which was a great favorite of the lion tamer, died of its wounds. Ten Millions of Gold in One Pile. A San Francisco correspondent of the Philadelphia Preta gives the following information: Speaking of gold, reminds one of a very well authenticated rumor that the great bonanza kings, Messrs. Flood, O'Brien, Mackay and Fair, are going to send one hundred and fifty tons of the gold and silver bullion from their Consolidated Virginia mine to the Centennial, and pile up the glittering bars in some conspicuous spot, so that all the world can see what one mine pro duces in five months. The value of the bars will be ten millions of dollars in United States gold coin I If the idea is carried out it will be the gra dest sight among a million of grand sights, and I venture to say more people will visit this " mountain of wealth " than any other single thing in the building. Five mil lions of the bullion is now boxed up for shipment, and the balance will be ready In due Beason. Few people ever saw such a vast sum as ten millions of dol lars in gold and silver, nil in one or sev eral piles, and I think the proposition of Messrs. Flood Co., if-carried through, will add much ' o 1 he charm, the wonder, the eclat, and the success of the exposition. A Notable Work for the Centennial. The city of Mexico correspondent of the Son Francisco Chronicle writes as follows: .Undoubtedly one of the roost interesting, novel and unique works of art exhibited at the American Centennial will bo jiff architectural plau of this liis torio city. Tho dimensions are 330 feet from north to south and 231 feet from east to west. All the characteristics of the capitol will be portrayed with tho greatest fidelity, as, for instance, the ir regularity of the heights of buildings, the color of the fronting, the signs of the business houses, the number of doors, windows and balconies on each street, the pavements and sidewalks. This model city will be peopled by 60, 000 human figures of good size, made of lead and adorned exquisitely, represent ing men in various fashionable national costumes and otherwise, ladies elegantly dressed for the opera, ball and social party, besides types from the common people. Fruit venders, ice cream ven ders, porters, water carriers, etc, with their fautastio outfits, will be given true to life. There will be no less than 1,900 coaches and an equal number of other vehicles, besides artillery pieoes mount ed on carts. Nearly all the noticeable buildings will be visible, the grand cathe dral, the principal Catholic churches, the mint, offices of the railroads, the national library, the school of fine arts, the Hotel Itnrbide, and others. The national palace and other notable build ings are not constructed in the plan, but proper steps have been taken to get per mission to do so. When included the wori will be complete. The idea of this novel undertaking originated with Don Francisco Tajardo, Antonio Fomas, Francisco Cervantes, Manuel Acosta, and Andoqmo Sanchez, all well known and enterprising citizens. They have as sociated with hem Don Vincente Her uaandez, an eminent mechanic and artist. Wheu the project was at first broached, nearly two years ago, it was thought that so daring a piece of enterprise could not be completed in time, but the gen tlemen having it in hand went to work energetically and will have it ready at the proper date for shipment to Phila delphia. A Mexicau writer speaking of the work says, satirically, that the dis tinguished foreigners who believe thot the Mexicans still dress in feathers and f:hoot with arrows will bo astonished to gaze upon the magnificent toilets of the ladies, the walking canes of the fashion ables, and the love of handsome, pic turesque costumes which characterizes the descendants of the Aztecs and the Spaniards. Wheu the whole plan allud ed taicompleted and set up according to the model in the Centennial building, it is certaiu that no other notable object can attract greater attention. Courage and Fear'of Death. The Chinese of the southern deltas, wlio have little active courage, though the Chinese of the north and west have plenty, will iiie for a bribe to save a rich er criminal from the sentence he has earned. The Bengalee, who alone among mankind says, calmly, "Arme bheroo," " I am timid," as if cowardice were mat ter of moral and social indifference, or rather creditable than otherwise, goes to execution, as Macaulay noticed, like a hero, and will encounter an inevitable aud agonizing death without a flutter of the pulse. His nerve is as great as Waiuwright's, who died without a per ceptible change in the steadiness of his heart-beats, but who unlike the Ben galee with an object before him would probably have rushed upon the cannon. The Malay, w' ;o cannot bo induced or compelled to facn rockets, dies as tran quilly as Casablanca; and the Cingalese of the coaf, who will fight nobody, meets death without a murmur or a pang. An English sailor of the old type, who would face anything earthly except a black cat, has probably twice as much fear of death as the cultivated woman who can endure death by a deadly oper ation resignedly, yet faint in the pres ence of any noisy danger. The wild romaucer, Gustave Aimard, states, as a fact, within his knowledge, that a Spanish officer shot himself dead rather than cross a rope suspension bridge; aud we can vouch for the following story, though we inu't not give the names : An Engish ensign, just joined before the first sikh campaign, went to bis commanding officer, a relative, and told him that he could not face the shot, that he should disgrace himself, and must resign. His relative comforted him kindly, told him that he was only nervous, and thought he had soothed his fear; but the lad, as he stepped out of the tent, shot himself through the brain, invitiug death rather than a call upon his courage. An Expensive Breakfast. Long years ago, way back to 1814, when our wives, daughters, sisters, and sweethearts wore calico dresses, the ma terial of which was cheap, and made from seven yards, and it oost as many shillings, three young men of capital and high standing, indulged in a night's debauch at a hotel in Northampton, Mass. In the morning they summoned the landlord to their presence, and or dered a breakfast, which they stated must be the most expensive that had ever been given in the State. The principal dish ordered was ham and eggs, of which they would go to the kitchen and superintend, personally, the cooking. When the fat was hot, they each deposited in it their cold watches; chains, lockets, and signet rings, which were fried with the ham and eggs. The cost of the jewelry alone was at least $1,500. All of the parties are dead now, but they lived long enough to know the want of their foolish extravagance. On a Spree. A correspondent of a Terre Haute pa per who accompanied the recent " edi torial " excursion, says that among their number were " mayors, clerks, grocers, livery stable keepers and doctors, ' de clares that at Altoona, where they stop ped for (free) lunch, " as the party hur ried out of the room, it was amusing to see the proprietors counting their spoons," and Bays that though it wasimJ possible to say how they spent Sunday "the generally bunged-up appearance of all the party at night spoke vol MIKE WALSH'S (CANDIDATE. ! How Mike Made m. Colored Mm't Chrvkm for Third Assistant Doorkeeper his Prr nonal Matter. Did yon ever happen to hear how Mike Walsh conducted a canvass for his candidate for doorkeeper, onoo when he was in the Assembly I says a correspon dent of the Albany Journal Once when poor Mike came to the Assembly to be sworn in as a legislator, ho was met at the Dolavan or at the Mansion House of those days, by a colored gen tleman of fine address, who requested his influence in getting him appointed third assistant doorkeeper. The office seeker was received with that urbanity with which Mike treated everybody, and after he had exhibited sundry indorse ments from several prominent citizens, he produced, evidently as his best card, a long and beautiful specimen of chirog raphy, which he informed his listener was his own letter addressed to the As sembly in behalf of his own nomination. Mike took it, hastily read a sentence or two, and then, lighting a fresh cigor, to the delight of the would-be doorkeeper, proceeded to read the whole of it. When he got through he was taken with a hearty fit of laughter, and on coming out of it, to the joyful astonishment of the other, lie said : " Mr. Bensen, leave your canvass in my hands. I'll make it a personal matter. Mr. Bensen wrung his benefactor's hand aud departed. In the evening at the caucus Mike present ed no name for doorkeeper, or for first, second, or third assistant doorkeeper. Poor Bensen, who, from his place in" the gentlemen's gallery in the Assembly chamber, saw the prize which he coveted, and the obtaining of which for him Hon. Mr. Walsh, from New York, had prom ised to make " a personal matter," given to another was sorely angered and grieved. Mike spied him, and just as soon as the caucus was adjourned, but before any of the members had dis persed, he asked for order, and ex claimed in a loud voice : "If Mr. Ben sen, who was a candidate for third assis tant doorkeeper, is in the building, he is wanted at the clork's desk." The caucus saw that something good was up, and not a man moved from his place. Presently the mystified Bensen ap peared, and in response to Mike's re quest took his place at tho clerk's desk. Mike rose and with a great show of sol emnity informed the caucus that he had a personal explanation to make to them and to a late candidate for the third as sistant doorkeepership. Then, turning to BenBen, he said something to this effect: "Mr. Bensen, on the occasion of your coming to see mo this morning and asking -my Humble influence to se cure you the position on which you had foou-ed, I informadWjon: that. I would make your candidacy my personal mat ter. Mr. Bensen, I have done so. Be lieve me, sir, I haven't met a Democrat since I parted with you but I have taken him by the button hole and said, with earnest voice and moist eye: " What ever you do to-night, don't vote for Ben son for third assistant doorkeeper." To a man, Bensen, they said they would go back on Bensen, and for the kindness thus shown me by my fellows I am, I hope, duly grateful. This is one of the proudest moments of my life, for I re alize as I never did before the sincerity and warmth of my political friends in their relations to me. By this time the defeated candidate, the perspiration running down his face, was so torn with his emotions that he didn't know whether he was afoot or horseback. He probably realized only this one thing clearly that public life had lost all its charm for him. The cau cus, too, was in a state of complete be wilderment, since nearly every man composing it had, indeed, gone back on Bensen at the earnest solicitation of Walsh, whilo Walsh now admitted that he had promised to make Benson's can vass his " personal matter." When Mike had got to this point in his speech, h? requested one of the boys on the floor to briug him a gloss of water. Wheu it was brought ho drank with great delib eration, wiped his mouth very slowly, and then, in the midst of the most in tense silence, took from one of his breast pockets Bensen's letter and read it aloud. He had a pleasing, sympathetic voice, and the letter, good in itself, gain ed immensely in Mike's rendering of it. When he had concluded he suddenly struck an attitude and vehemently ex claimed, with the letter held high in air : " I tell thee, Benpen, that when I bad read that eloquent document three or four times the conviction with which I became possessed on first reading it deepened and crystallized until it took shape in the resolve that I would not in sult such an accomplished scholar, such an eloquent and polished writer, and such an earnest and effective patriot by tendering him the comparatively incon sequential recognition that attaches to the office of third assistant doorkeeper. No, Benson, I oonld not do it, I could not do it. Justice to thee as a pe culiarly gifted individual and to the policy of the party whom we both so absorbingly love alike forbid it." The caucus just howled, and even Bensen himself joined in the bursts of laughter that set the pendents of the big chandelier jingling. The next day the Senate proceeded to elect officers, ond Mike, when the office of third as sistant doorkeeper was reached, amid ap plause which tho speaker did not try to check, moved to nubstitute for the Democratic caucus nomination " the name of Mr. Bensen." The caucus nominee, by Alike s arrangement, was a man of straw, and his motion was car ried by acclamation. The performance was brought to a fit termination by Mike's rushing from his seat to the lobby, and profusely an! with the ut taost ostentation congratulating the re assured, the proud, the happy Bensen. How to Raise Pize Squashes. A farmer at Orriugton last season, the Portland Exprets says, fed a squash, in the hope of being able to bring it up to two hundred pounds. The feeding was done by cutting off the vine about six foet from the squash, and putting the end in a pan into which fresh milk was daily poured. By this means the vine absorbed about two quarts of milk per day, and the squash gained about a pound a day in weight. CONFESSIONS OF A SELFISH MAN. A lilt ol Hnrriulln Advlre Given Frre lo All. To-day I am Beventy-flve years of age, and I have been reviewing my life. Of all men in the world we think a selfish man is to bo tho most despised. It is tho se'ifish mnn who aims to gratify his owu pleasures aud dosires, regardless of the consequences which may befall oth ers. , At the age of nineteen I married, and candor compels me to say that my partner for hie was one of the loveliest of God's creatures. Though previous to our marriago she had received many offers of marriage from men of wealth and high position in the world, still this true noble-hearted woman preferred me above all others, though fully cognizant that she wan marrying a poor man. Three years after our marriage a legacy of $10,000 was bequeathed to my wife. In those days a man was looked upon an wealthy who could command $10,000. In a short time I purchased a fourth in terest in the firm with which I had been engaged for a number of years. The profits were immense, and at the age of twenty-six I was, indeed, a wealthy man. At the age of twenty-eight six children had been added to the family, and right here is where my selfishness began to show. Though our business was still in a flourishing condition, I began to im press upon every member of the family the necessity of being economical. The children were denied every pleasure when a pecuniary expenditure was neces sary to contribute in any way to their enjoyment. My family dreaded to ac quaint mo with their slightest wants, knowing that the reply would be: "You must practice economy." How many times have I insisted on my wife wear ing the same bonnet and dress "just one more season," and have seen her wear ing the same cloak four or five winters; but I must have a new overcoat each Bpring and winter and a new beaver as often as the styles. I must also have the bnest patent leather boots and shoes, but my wife almost feared to mention that she needed a new pair of gaiters. I have seen her economize in various ways to enable her to purchase some article phe fancied and, in truth, actually need ed. My children grew up in ignorance, because I could not spare (?) the means to properly educate them. It was my own useless expenditures that prevented my doing full justice to my family. My children are all of a good old age. My wife is wrinkled and gray, and we are both "passing down the hill of life." The hand that writes this is a trembling one. More than once have I had to wipe my "specs " so that I might see the lines more clearly. It is too late to make atonement for my cruelty au'd past neglect; but I make this true and bon: est oonfession as a warning to all mean- y, selfish persons, that they may not follow in my footsteps. For forty-five years my expenses have varied but little each year. My night lunches have cost me each week for one year, Sl.iO. I have often attended the theater five nights a week, and my expenses in that line have cost mo not less than $125 per annum. When not at the theater 1 spent the remaining nights in some billiard hall for, much to my regret, but few of my evenings were spent with my family and added $75 more to my expendi tures each year. Sty tobacco bill was $25 per year. My cigar bill (fonrperciem)wai 146 per year. My bar bill was 175 per year. Chanip&gne, twice per month, was gu per year. These figures may seem startling, but ihey are, nevertheless, true. It really appalled me when the sum total was added up. To recapitulate for lorty-hve years: Night lunches per year $130 45,850 Theatricals per year 224 5,625 Milliards per year 75 3,875 Cigars per year 140 0,57il lidr bill per year 175 T.Ma Champagne at table per yeart . 60 '2,750 Carriage line eaoli year l0 u.skxj Total per year $786 $35,420 Suppose, at the age of thirty, I had put the $786 ont at interest, and com pounded it for forty-five years, a calcu lation would astound any man to see what a wealthy man it would make me to-day. Let those who are following in my foot steps take warning in time. He Borrowed No Trouble. He was an elderly man, says the Louisvillo Courier-Journal, but his well-preserved couutenance expanded in a genial smile that made him look ten years younger, as he said: " I never al low myself to borrow trouble. Some people are trying to effect that loan, but I am not of their sort." And again he smiled, diffusing light and cheerf uluess over the group with whom he conversed. Some five hundred miles away, the poor, overworked sister of the happy man was boarding, and striving to bring under control, his six worthless and troublesome children, and at the same time seeking to teach her own ill-clad, ill-fed and numerous progeny to walk in tho way of righteousness. This was why the elderly man with the genial smile spoke so cheerfully, and when his good sister's health finally departed from her, and she lay down aud died, he still bor rowed no trouble. Matcu-Making, The Binghamton Times says : There is no class devoted to intrigue whose labors are more dangerous to the com munity than the professional match makers. There is in Binghamton a woman whose efforts have in less than a year brought about three marriages. The first was so manifestly lacking in affinity that the parties separated after an unhappy experience of a few months. In the second case the wife is now an in mate of the insane asylum, and is known to have lived unhappily after marriage. The third marriage was between a man of sixty and a girl of twenty-five, and ended before time was given to learn the natural result, in the accidental death of the man. These are facts. A gentleman in - company with Dr, Johnson, to some of the usual arguments for drinking, adtd this : "You know, sir, drinking drivb away care and makes na Iiin4 U T tl us 'u"g wumoYw is uiBttgreeuuio. Would you not allow a'man to drink for that reason ?" Johnson replied : " Yes, sir, if he sat nigh you 1" A Girl's Strataorein. A story is told of a lady who acted strangely at the altar, and with good rea son, for she made it serve her well. She was a girl who had been gently reared and well educated, but on account of family misfortunes had been forced to earn her own living. Not fancying tho course usually Liken by such unfortu nate ladies she determined neitht-r to write for the magazines nor teach school, feeling that she would never ex cel in either vocation. She studiod bookkeeping, and then secured a place in the office of a large factory in one of the manufacturing towns of Massachu setts as assistant bookkeeper. She paid strict attention to her business and no cured the respect of every one, and the love of two men. One was unfortunate ly unworthy of her, but being her em ployer's son, he was enabled to perse cute her cruelly. She persisted in her refusal of his offers of marriage until he managed to place her in a position where it was thought that her reputa tion was compromised. The poor girl thought so herself, and saw only one way ont of her trouble. She encouraged her persecutor, and when he again offered to marry her she accepted him. After the usual pre liminaries she appeared iu the church and stood at the altar with him. The news of the wedding had spread, and all her friends were present. She was very pale, but when she was asked, " Wilt thou take this man ?" her voice rang out like a bugle call : " No, not to save my life would I marry him." Of course there was a scene, but as she hod promptly fainted, any explanation was at that time entirely out of the question. The willingness of her persecutor to marry her had demonstrated the untruth of the stories he had threatened to tell, and when, the next day, the other of her lovers called on the clergyman and ex plained to him the exigency which had forced her to such an act, and asked him to solemnize her marriage with the man of her choice, the reverend gentleman's wrath was appeased. A Wonderful Wheat Country, The Portland Oregonian says : We have been in the habit of supposing that the Willamet valley was the greatest wheat growing country on the habitable globe, and have felt like indulging in an indefinite amount of vainglorious boast ing over the record of fields producing fifty bushels or more to the aero, and whole farms averaging thirty-five or forty bushels. But we recoive some in formation concerning wheat raising in eastern Washington Territory which sur passes the best-showing we remember to have seen. O. Maler, living near the base of the Blue mountains, in Walla Walla valley, in 1873 raised on a sixty-acre field 4,020 bushels of wheat, an average of sixty seven bushels to tho acre ; and in 1875, from a sixty-acre tract, 3,420 bushels, or fifty-seven bushels to the acre. Mr. Masterson, residing four miles south of Walla Walla, raised on ten acres 850 bushels, eighty-five bushels to the acre. Mr. Kennedy, whose farm is on Dry creek, six miles from Walla Walla, har vested 5,252 bushels from 150 acres, thirty-five bushels average ; and this was a volunteer crop, that is, the second crop from one sowing. These crops, says our informant, were produced on ordinary wheat land land that is "no better than hundreds of thousands of acres now lying vacant in Walla Walla and Whitman counties, especially north of Snake river, where there is a country vast enough to pro duce more than 25,000,000 bushels per annum, and where a failure of crops has never been known." Suicide on a Good Dinner. One evening, says a writer, 1 saw a crowd in front of a Paris restaurant, and learned on inquiry that a man had taken his own life inside. It appeared that he had installed himself in a "cabinet, and ordered a regal repast, dwelling with unction on each course. His repast occupied a couple of hours, and when coffee, cognac and cigars were furnished toward the close of it, he informed the waiter that he would require nothing else, and he need not return until he rang for him. About fifteen or twenty minutes afterward the time to sip his cognac and smoke a cigar the repott of a firearm was heard proceeding from his cabinet. On opening the door he was found lying on the sofa dead, with a smoking pistol at his side. On search ing him, not a sou was discovered in his pockets. The inference was that being nearly starved, he determined to regale himself in a sumptuous maimer for once, and then canceled this and all other debts by paying with his life. The proprietor of the restauraut said he would have willingly given him his ain ner if he had only killed himself else where than on his premises. This was the practical side of tho question. The man who paid such a price for his din ner was evidently a disciple of Brillat Savarin. An Illustration. The Rev. Dr. Ritchie, of Edinburgh, though a very clever man, sometimes met with his match. When examining a student as to the classes he hod at tended, he said: "Aud you attended the class for mathematics ? ' "Yes." " How many sides has a circle ?" "Two," said the student "What are they " An outside and on inside." The doctor then said : "And you at tended the philosophy class also ?" "Yes." "Well, you would hear lecture-- on various subjects. Did you ever hear one on cause and effect ?" i . "Yes." "Does an effect ever go. before a cause ?" "Yes." " Give me an instance." " A man wheeling a barrow." , , The doctor then sat down. , :,, , ' It's a curious incident of matrimony, says the Cincinnat :lmes, that if you tell your wife to get up and build the fire, she exhibits her dutiful obedience by forthwith proceeding to fire up. Too Late. Each on his own strict line we move, And some find death ere they find love. Bo far apart their lives are thrown From the twin soul that halves their own. And sometimes, by still harder fate, Tho lovers meet, but meet too late. The heart is mine. True, true ! ah ' true Then, love, thy hand. Ah, no ' adiea ! Items of Interest. A man can find fault in any direotion he is pleased to look for it.' The art of life is to know how to en joy a little, and to endure much. It is said that 15,000,000 boxes of blacking are annually manufactured in the United States. Tragio satire 1 Tho author of " The Art of Becoming a Millionaire" has just died of starvation in France. . An exchange wants to know, since w-o-r-k is pronounced wirk, why pork should not be pronounced pirk ? The Carthaginian inscriptions to the number of 2,084, which went down in the Magenta, have been all safely recovered by the divers. The governor of Virginia pardoned a criminal on condition that he shall never use ardent spirits, wine, or any other in toxicating beverage. . An English medical journal says that women are getting the monopoly of neu ralgia because so much of their heads is exposed to the air. Said a dry goods dealer : " Of course we lose money on every piece of these goods, but, my dear madam, we sell such enormous quantities of them." The "leap year necktie" for gentlemen has a spring which, being touched, moves a thickness of silk aside and shows a disc inscribed " No." A gentlemen was directing an English gardener to put his hedge in order. His reply was : "Ah, yes ; yon gest want me to cut the hedge of the 'edge." An Atlanta pastor died a few days after his Snnday-school children placed on their Christmas tree a present for him in the shape of a life insurance policy. A thousand dollars of conscience money was recently received at Wash ington in one day, notwithstanding this is a dull year in the conscience business. A breed of dogs without tails has been discovered in Africa ; and how the mis chievous boys there utilize old tin kettles and fruit cans, we cannot pretend to say. It has been suggested that if young men will marry on tho twenty-ninth of February they will be able to save many presents expected .on weaaing anniver saries. A bill has been introduced into the Pennsylvania Legislature making it a penal offense to " point" a pistol or gun or any firearm at a person, whether in jest or in earnest. "What do thev alwavs nut D. C. after Washington for I" asked Mrs. Qnilp of Mr. Q. " Why, my dear, don't you know that Washington was Daddy of his Century ?" said Quilp with a snicker. In Germany 1,520 out of every 10,000 of the population pro under school in struction ; in Great Britiau, 1,400 ; in Fiance, 1,160 ; in Belgium 1,140 ; iu Austria and Hungary, 840 ; aud in Rus sia, 150. A bald man was sadly astonished to find his French barber's charges so hi"?h : " Ten fraucs," exclaimed he, " for cutting my hair 1" " Oh, no, monsieur, not for cutting your hair, but for finding de hair to cut. ' Mr. Drum, of Beatrice, Nev., has ever so many little Drums in his house, be sides a drum in each ear, and yet he is not a drummer, says an exchange. But it would seem that such a family must lead a humdrum sort of life. In the lost illness of poor Hood he was reduced to a skeleton. As he noticed a very large mustard poultice which Mrs. Hood was making for him he cried : " Oh, Mary 1 thai will bo a great deal of mustard to a very little meat !" Two men seeing a naturalist in a field collecting insects, thus spoke of him : "What's that gentleman?" "Why, he's a naturalist." "What's that?" "Why, one who catches gnats, to be sure." " Maria," observed Mr. Holcomb, as he was putting on his clothes, "there ain't no patch on them breeches yet." " I can't fix it now no way ; I'm too busy." " Well, give methe patch, then, an' I'll carry it around with me. I don't want people to think I can't afford the cloth. fi There was consternation at Verona, N. Y., one Sunday, when an old barn -vard ram was found standing, like an angel with a flaming sword, at the door way of a Presbyterian church, butting fiercely at everybody who attempted to enter the sanctuary. Finally two of the brethren seized the intruder ty the fore lock, and returned him to his fold. A Danburv couple have a nice little 1 daughter of some five summers. A lady visitor observed to ine motner: what a pretty child yon have ! She must be a great comfort to you." " She is in deed," said the fond mother. "When I'm mad at John I don't have to speak to 'him. She calls him to his meals, and tells him to get the coal, and other things that I want. She is real handy." The Courrier de Lyon quotes an ex ception to the rule that only people with emntv Dockets drown them selves. A ; spinster of the tender age of forty-seven threw nerseii into the saone, having previously tied her pet pug to her waist. The act was noticed, and the two insepa rables were rescued, when, to the amaze ment of all, 40,000 francs in bank notes, and 1,500 francs in gold were found on the person of the erratic young lady. Two boys, aged six and twelve years, entered a Cincinnati police station one night, and the eldest told an affecting story of parental abuse. They had, he mf, been driven from home, and were exhausted with wandering, besides being hungry. They were fed and housed. In the morning their frightened mother found them, and the truth came out. They had left a comfortable home, having made up their minds to travel as tramps.