HENRY A. PARSONS, Jr., Editor and Publisher
Two Dollars per Annum.
TIIDGWAY, ELK COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, MAY 12, 1881.
Ebb and Flow.
Life throbs with tides that obb and How,
With tilings that como, and things that go.
Tho mists that rise when morn is fair,
That rise and float, then melt in air,
Are nut more transient in their stay
Than ure the, hours that speed away.
For often life seems like a dream
So quickly flush with glance and gleam,
A thousand things that come and go,
And cause the tides to ebb and flow.
A sad, sweet strain that's borne along
!y breath of w ind; n bit of song,
A few fond words when dear friends meet;
The music of a laugh that's sweet;
The sympathy that prompts a sigh;
A win-,iric .to that parses bv;
ISrief joys, flint stay their littlo while,
A kindly glum e, a loving rmilo.
Those evei come ami ever go,
And like the lidos they ebb and llow.
A lovely hiniUrapc, fair ami bright,
One moment seen, then lost to sight,
The gorgeous clouds at set of sun,
That crown the day when it is done.
The frosty pictures on the pane.
That fade and come, and fade again;
The euilinj; smoke that tlonts away;
A snow wreath on a winter's day;
All these like waves that ebb and llow,
With ceaseless throb still come and go.
THAT AWKWARD GIRL.
Colonel lialeigh felt really indignant.
The iiloa of imy one's expecting him to
dunce with that gawky, ill-dressed girl,
Julin Pinch ! it was as irritating as it
was ill 'Mu d. However, he had no choice
in such a matter, his hostess' will was
So he found himself, with his feet in
the first position, opposite the young
lady, bowing as he requested the pleas
ure' of the waltz, and in his heart an
athematized both the music and his
Julia rineh was only seventeen, and
had the angular, unformed appearance
of a younger girl. Her dress was old
fashioned and unbecoming, and as she
nervously accepted the flattering pro
posal of' the handsomest man iu town,
she pulled n torn glove over her red
wrist, and stood up expectant, with as
little grace certainly as was well con
ceivable. The first round of the dance was ex
quisite torture to the gallant colonel -unspeakable,
but scarcely definable,
delight to the girl. It was" such an un
expected honor for her, poor little neg
lected wall-Hower! Her invitation to
this her first bull had been altogethei
She knew no one, and her coming had
been "brought ubout by a singular con
catenation of circumstances, which she
afterwards called "fate." She was an
orphan and lived with her old aunt,
whose stinginess increased with her
Old Miss Deborah Brown was re
spected in Hillsborough, but her visit
ing days were over, and she had
been gr'nlly surpiised a week be
fore the (d)icers' ball by a call from a
far-away elderly cousin, who, in passing
through the town,' had remembered her
existence, lie was remaining for the
ball, and, as he took his farewell, his
eye rested carelessly upon the awkward
girl who had retreated into the furthest
corner of the room during his visit.
With a good-natured impulse he took
a ball ticket from his pocket, and,
throwing it down upon the table, said:
" There, young lady; if you like to
go I'll fetch' you at 8 o'clock! "
And so, to Julia's intense surprise, she
was to make one of the select company
invited to the officers' ball.
Aunt Deborah had strange ideas of
the fitness of things, and it is not, per
haps, very remarkable that Julia's ap
pearance was scarcely creditable even
to her position.
The best-chosen toilet would have
scarcely redeemed her awkwardness;
bnt with the old-fashioned garment her
relative had had "made over for her,"
and ill-litting gloves and boots, she was
as little beautiful as she was ever des
tined to be.
Colonel Ualeigh's anger calmed down
somewhat as, after the first round of the
dance was over, his partner, more at her
ease, proved to be an admirable waltzer.
She was light as a feather, and her step
was so springy and free that in his own
mind he reflected that it covered a mul
titude of sins.
He was inclined to patronize her, and
when he led her breathless to her seat,
btood for a while beside her, and finally,
with a sudden impulse of good nature
at which he marveled himself, offered
to take her to have some refreshment.
Silly little Julia ! how her heart beat,
to be 'sure. She felt ready to shrink
iuto tho smallest atom of herself as she
walked through tho beautiful rooms
with her handsome partner.
When he left her at last her eye fol
lowed him, and her foolish heart beat
high with hope that such another treat
might be in store for her ; but this was
not to be.
The colonel had done his duty
much more than done it, indeed, he con
sideredand her light waltzing could
not even commend a second experience
to him. So Julia sat, unnoticed and
alone, until Miss Deborah's cousin was
ready to leave. He had promised to see
her home and when he came to fetch
her, said, good-naturedly:
"Capital ball! Hope you enjoyed
" Yes, indeed, thank you," was the
" Have you been dancing much ?"
"I danced with Colonel Ealeigh,"
Eaid Julia, in exultation.
' Ah, indeed ?" said the elderly cousin,
with what she thought scant considera
tion of her bliss. Well, come along.
Your aunt will think you are lost."
And Julia's first ball ended, and the
quiet monotony of her life was to re
commence. Never again, though, to be quite the
same, for cow Julia had an object in life.
This object was to watch for, dream of
and romance about the handsome colo
nel. One a week the regiment to which he
was attached passed her aunt's house.
On Sundays she knew that for one bliss
ful moment she would behold her hero
of the ballroom; for that one moment
she endured much.
No persuasion of her aunt could in
duce her to dress for church, or move
from a certain window, until after the
event to which she looked forward
throughout the six days of the week.
Old Aunt Deborah never imagined any
deeper reason for this obstinacy, as she
called it, than general admiration of the
soldiers, which, to her mind, was suffi
ciently foolish. Had she known the
truth she would have considered that
Julia had lost the little sense with which
she credited her.
The colonel never saw her, neveronce
glanced at the house, never even knew
where she lived; and, alas ! for her, had
he known, would not have cared.
He was a fast man; not bad in the
ordinary acceptation of the word, but
of no particular principle or character.
He was accustomed to the admiration
of all his lady friends, and was in many
respects a very spoiled man, as little
likely to think twice of awkward Julia
as to stop to pick a daisy at his feet.
At least, so he would have said. As
it appeared, he knew nothing and
cared nothing, and certainly, had any
one pointed out the silly little girl
watching for his passing, would have
failed to recognize her as his partner
for one dance, which was only remem
bered by him as an annoyance.
Time passed. The regiment was
ordered abroad ; its quarters filled by
6omo succeeding corps, and Julia's
object in life taken from her, she re
lapsed once more into the old languid
conditions of her life.
Some weeks later, when spring had
come and gone, and summer was at its
height, Aunt Deborah died, leaving her
little property to the lonely girl, whom
she had suffered to live with her under
a sort of protest. As soon as she was
laid in the grave Julia surprised all
those whom her sudden inheritance had
interested, by declaring her intention of
going to a finishing school.
"Aunt Deborah," she said, "would
never pay for my education while she
lived ; but I know my own needs, and I
intend to learn."
There was no one to eainsav her.
She took her own way, and offered her
self as parfor-pnpu to the Misses Jones,
who kept the finishing school in the
little town, and who were glad to re
ceive her, promising her tho comforts
of home and every advantage from mas
ters that her money could procure.
There were two other parlor boarders
of her own age in the school, and each
had their romance. Each had a lover,
or a friend who was to become such, but
Julia had none. Deep in her girlish
heart she treasured the memory, of the
one man who had come, as it seemed to
her, right into her life.
It was the thought of him that stimu
lated her to self-improvement. In her
day-dreams she imagined meeting him
again, when he should be to her what
all the other girls claimed for them
selves. She had been told so often that
she was plain and awkward that she be
lieved it ; but still in her heart she
boped that in the future she might, at
least, hold her own with others. It was
a year since her memorable evening. A
school friend of hers, Amy Chase by
name, had invited her to her house, tell
ing her that a dance was to celebrate
" Not a grand affair, you know," she
said ' just a carpet dance."
Julia lelt very little excitement about I
it; she accepted because she had no I
reason for declining, and was about to
ask some questions as to her dress,
when to her intense surprise Amy con
tinued: " Colonel lialeigh is staying with us,
and he is such a man for dancing that
on his account we must have some."
"Colonel lialeigh!" exclaimed Julia,
involuntarily. "I thought I thought "
" Do you know him?" asked Amy, in
quisitively. " Isn't he handsome and
delightful, a perfect dear !"
"I I don't know," said Julia, hesi
tatingly. " Don't know ! Well, then of course
yon can't have seen him," laughed Amy.
" No one ever forgets him; but I'll intro
duce you ! He's just sold out and
como iuto a fine estate."
Julia's feelings at this unexpected
disclosure can scarcely bo conceived.
Tj her this man had been the idealized
hero of every day-dream.
Now all her languor was gone. Her
interest in, in everything connected
with the coming event, was intense.
She consulted the leading dress
maker in the town, and put herself into
the hands of the hair-dresser, whose ex
ploits were renowned. After all she
was to be congratulated in having secur
ed the assistance of real artistes, for
their choice did credit to their taste.
Her dress was ' veiy simple white
tarlatan over white silk and by the mil
liner's advice a bunch of field daisies for
her hair and bosom were her only orna
ments. " So simple, miss," said the woman,
"and simplicity is the best for a young
Julia herself did not know how much
she owed her for her suggestion. The
awkward, ungainly girl did not realize
the change that had transformed her
into a sweet-faced and not ungraceful
Her fair hair hung in curls about her
neck, the expression of her blue eyes
were so childlike and her whole appear
ance so modest and retiring that, with
the pure white dress, relieved only by
the daisies in her hair and bosom, she
looked like some lovely child, and
might have stood for a representation
of Innocence itself.
The finishing touches had been put
to her dress by her admiring compan
ions, and she proceeded with a beating
heart to her friend's house.
Dancing had already commenced,
and Julia, who depended upon her
friend's mother as chaperon, waited in
an ante-room till Amy should come to
"How lovely you look, Julia!" ex
claimed the latter, as she ran in. " You
will be the 'belle of the ball,' I de
clare 1" She turned to her mother, and,
introducing her, continued: "Now,
mamma, be sure and introduce Colonel
lialeigh to Julia. He's just splendid!
But I hope you can dance, for he will
only take good dancers as his partners;
but come along."
The dancing-room was full as they
entered, but Julia saw onlv one figure.
The handsome colonel of her memor
able ball, the hero of every day-dream
since, was leaning against the mantel
shelf, iu earnest conversation with a
To Julia's eyes he was handsomer
than ever. She had no desire to join
iu tho dancing; she felt as if
the mere sight of her hero was
enough. Sho took a seat, by her friend's
desire, on the sofa, but was soon to re'
alizo that her wall-flower days were
She did not think what a pretty pic
ture she made as she sat there, all the
admiration in her innocent heart shining
in her eyes as, without any idea of
attracting notice, she enjoyed the real
ization of her longing to see him once
She accepted one partner after
another, always hoping that fate would
ot last bring her old friend, as she con
sidered him, to her side. What fate
might not have accomplished her own
attractions brought about.
" Deuced pretty girl, that," said the
colonel to the lady with whom ho con
versed. " Dances well, too. Introduce
me, won't you ?"
" I've a great mind not to," said his
friend, laughing. " I haven't forgotten
your scowl last year at your own ball,
when I asked you to dance with that
friend of old Lane's."
"Well, I might scowl!"
the colonel, laughing " that
ward girl! You certainly
to make every amends in
power by giving me a better chance to
night." And he followed her across the
room to Julia, whose partner had just
" Miss Pinch Colonel Ealeigh," she
heard, and trembling at the realization
of her dream, she held out her card
almost mechanically. She scarcely
heard his first words. When she re
covered from her nervousness, he was
" Mrs. White threatened to punish
me for an old offense by not introducing
me, Miss rinch. It would have been
too cruel don't you think so V
"I do not know what the offense
was," said Julia, in her .childish voice.
"But" and she hesitated " I don't
think it could have been very bad."
And the great blue eves were raised
to his face.
" I will tell you," he said, "only your
kind heart would be hurt if you had to
' Perhaps I shouldn't have to blame
you," saiil Julia, wistfully ; but the
music was tempting, and his reply was
merged in the first steps of a waltz.
"How divinely yon dance, Miss
Pinch,' said the handsome colonel, as
he bent over her at the conclusion of
the waltz. "You are as light as a
feather. I never danced with any one so
light before, exeept--yes, by Jove! except
the time I was going to tell you about,
when I shocked Mrs. Whits. Why, it
was in this very town so it was at our
own ball. She would introduce me to
a gawky girl whom nobody knew, and
I scowled over it, lean tell you ! But
sho danced well, I must give her that
credit uncommonly well, she did !
Lightest waltzer I ever knew except
Poor little Julia: llow ner heart
beat ! She took courage.
" Who was she ?" she asked.
" I don't know; never saw her be
fore nor since she was all angles ! I
remember I was surprised to find that
she could dance at all. I wonder how
she learned. Strange it's; no compli
ment to you, but do you know, Miss
Pinch, you rather remind mo of her ?
Please forgive me," he added, hastily,
thinking her deepening color arose
from annoyance. " She had lieautiful
eyes, I remember, and might have been
good-looking, only she was so awkward
and oh ! so ill-dressed !"
"Can't you remember her name?"
asked Julia- Then she added: "I was
at that ball."
" You !" said the colonel. " " Impossi
ble ! I couldn't have forgotten you if I
had once seen you !"
" Oh, yes, I was !" ii. sisted Julia. " I
remember it because it was my first
ball." And she looked down and
The colonel considered.
" I thought I knew every pretty girl
in the room that night," he said. " You
must be mistaken. I'm sure I should
have danced" with you if you were there
if vou would have permitted me, that
" You did dance with me," said Julia,
in a low voice men suddenly becom
ing very bold, she added: " You didn't
want to, but you did, and and I en
joyed it very much."
The liandsome colonel looked an
noyed. The idea of his forgetting it,
if, as she said, he had danced with her !
" What dance was it?" he asked, after
" A waltz," said Julia, softly, as the
delicious memory of that evening came
"A what?" asked the colonel, with a
sudden and unpleasant idea in his mind
" A waliz," she repeated, with a blush,
and again she looked up at him with
those lovely, innocent eyes of hers.
" Miss Pinch," he said, " you are
laughing at me. Do you want to make
me believe that I met you, waltzed with
you and forgot you ?"
"Yes," said Julia; then after a pause
she half whispered: " But I didn't for
get." The colonel pulled his whiskers. He
was very much put out.
This "girl was so pretty how hateful
she must think him ! Well, there was
no danger of his forgetting her again.
What lovely eyes she hail What a
sweet, innocent baby face it was ! He
felt annoved as another partner coming
for her whirled her off in the dunce.
He stood watching her. How grace
ful the light, girlish figure looked!
Yet, as he gazed, some vague remem
brance came back to him, rendering
him uneasy and annoyed.
" It can't be," he muttered " impos
sible ! that awkward girl"
Just at this moment Amy came up.
"Have von been introduced to Julia
Pinch?" sho asked. "Isn't she
pretty ? "
Meryl" lie saw. "Who is she?
Sho declares I have met her. I am sure
I never have."
"Oh, yes, by the way!" said Amy
I remember, she did say somethinir
about knowing you. Where can it have
been ? Here she comes again; let's ask
her," and going up to her friend, Amy
put the question, to receive the same
An unpleasant idea still remained in
the colonel's mind so unpleasant that
ho persistently refused to pay any re
gard to it.
He was so charmed with this pretty
Julia he danced (yin and again with
her devoted himcdlf to her whenever
her nuruefous partners left her free for
a moment, and was as completely her
slave as if he had known her for W'eeks.
He could not divest himself of that
shadowy, undefined resemblance to
Quite late in the evening she was
sitting down after a dance; and as he
Btood beside her, in rapt admiration of
the sweet face down into which he was
gazing, a sudden movement of her hand
arrested his attention. Her glove had
eome unbuttoned, anJ, as she pulled it
up her wrist, she suddenly tore it
asunder; and, annoyed by the accident,
blushed deeply as she involuntarily put
her hand to hide it.
Her sudden movement supplied the
missing link in his memory. He remem
bered the torn glove on the red wrist of
that awkward girl, and at the same
moment so did Julia.
She looked up, half-laughing, half
annoyed, and said:
" When we met before, I had a torn
glove, I remember."
"Impossible," said he, in 'his sur
prise, " that you can be "
" That awkward girl V" she asked.
" Yes, indeed, I am. Are yon sorry?"
The colonel never knew what answer
he made; I doubt if she did, either.
But it is a suggestive fact that years after
ward I found iu his wife's drawers a
little packet labeled " That awkward
girl's;" and, opening it, I found it to con
tain a solitary glove, soiled and roughly
torn about the wrist.
Horidn Oranges and Alligators.
"For three hundred miles south from
Jacksonville, along the St. John's River,
and still further north and east,"saidJay
Gould to a New York reporter, "the coun
try is dotted over with orange groves of
from twenty to twenty-five acres in ex
tent. It takes about five years for on
orange grove to mature so as to produce
fruit for the market, but nevertheless
new groves are constantly planted, mid
are looked to as a sure source of revenue.
When an orange grove begins to bear
fruit it apparently never wears out. I
heard of one tree which bears annually
from six to eight thousand oranges,
but that is above the average."
"What is the cost of an orange grove?"
"As I said," replied Mr. Gould, "thev
vary in extent from twenty to twenty-'
live acres, and are worth from $50,000 !
to 8100,000. But thev yield a handsome j
percentage. For instance, Mr. Hart,
who lives lust
above mo here, owns a !
grove of about twenty-live acres, and he
informs me that it yields him a net in- !
come of from $15,000 to 820,000.
"Is this interest growing?"
"Decidedly so, and I think that with- i
in the next five years Florida ought to
be able to supply tho entire demand of
the United States for oranges. I believe
that the sweet orange is not a native of I
Honda, but has to be grafted upon the
tree which bears tho sour orange. On
one tree you sometimes see oranges,
lemons and limes growing together. Of
courso the several fruits have been graft
ed ; but it is interesting and peculiar
to a Northerner to see these fruits grow
ing in a happy family on one tree. It
suggests a horticultural paradise."
"Is orange growing the chief industry
"By no means. Not to speak of cotton
and live oak and the like, you must not
forget the alligator, said Mr. Gould,
smiling and evidently thinking of his
alleged "alligator farm."
"But is the alligator a sufficiently val
uable animal to make his cultivation re
"No ; his hide is the valuable por-
i '. e i l . ii . i . l
uuu ui mm, uiiu ceu mai is worm com-
paratively little, though I believe they
make it into boots iu England."
"But does Florida cultivate these rep
tiles?" "That is not necessary. The alligator
cultivates himself and produces quickly
and numerously. The whole swamp and
river country is filled with them."
"And are thev dangerous ?"
"Well," said Mr. Gould, "it is as well
not to get in tho way of their tails. I
think they strike their victims chiefly
with their tails. Nevertheless.the eleven
inch jaws of some of them are not at
tractive. My son killed one which
resembled a whale on four legs. Our
party killed over thirty of them. Wheth
er I killed any or not myself is a diffi
cult question for mo to answer. I saw
some live ones just before I fired, and
some dead ones just afterward ; but as
several rifles went off at the same time,
I cannot assume that it was my gun that
killed an alligator. But alligator shoot
ing was not what interested me in the
South ; the blossoms, our wedding blos
soms of the North, you know, were on
the trees, and yet the ripe, golden fruit
was there too.
Population of the West.
At the beginning of the century the
population of the great West, which is
now about 20,000,000, was a little more
than 50,000. The following interesting
table shows the growth of that popula
tion: Per cent, of
1810 203, 109 475
1820 858,957 193
1830 1,610,173 87
1810 ; 8,581,542 120
1850 6,582,413 57
18IJ0 8,715,692 75
1870 13,971,021 45
1880 19,131,810 37
That table is a very interesting one.
It is one of the most remarkable features
in this remarkable age.
FOU THE FAIR SKX.
Nrulnes" III Women.
A woman may be handsome or re
markably attractive m various ways ; i
but if she is not personally neat she
cannot hope to win admiration. Fine
clothes will not conceal tne siattem. a
young woman with her hair always in
disorder and her clothes hanging about
her as if suspended from a prop, is
always repulsive. Slattern is written on
her person from tho crown of her head
to the soles of her feet, and if she wins
a husband he will turn out, in all proba
bility, either an idle fool or a drunken
ruffian. Tho bringing up of daughters
to be able to work, talk and act like
honest, sensible young women, is the
special task of all mothers, and in the
industrial rank there is imposed also
the prime obligation of learning to re
spect household work for its own sake,
and the comfort and happiness it will
bring in the future.
New Turbnn Kniinrl.
The new turban bonnet is of a low
crowned shape, setting close to the head
and covered with old gold colored satin.
It is trimmed with a scarf a yard and
a half long of black Chantilly net, upon
which are embroidered tiny crescents
iu gold thread. It is finished by a hand
made fringe of mingled skein silk and
gold thread two inches wide. WThat dis
tinguishes this bonnet from other styles
is the disposition of the scarf, which is
confined in the exact center above the
forehead by a small and very finely
wrought crescent in gold filigree, having
a plumo-like ornament in crimped gold
thread, which is placed upright. It is
two inches high and so set as to be by
no mean-- conspicuous, seeming merely
to serve to give a turban-like look to the
loose folds of the scarf. At the back
the folds of lace and the fall simulate
the arrangement of the turban ends in
The present style of church weddings
says a New York letter, does not admit
of bridemaids and groomsmen entering
the church arm and arm. The grooru
chooses his best man and his ushers,
generally six in number. Tho ushers
are in attendance early and seat the
guests. When the hour for the service
arrives tho clergyman takes his place at
the altar, followed by the groom and his
best man. The organist starts the
" AYedding March," and the ushers, two
and two, enter the clmrcfi door and walk
up the aisle followed by the bride
maids. Then comes the bride on the
arm of her father or whoever is to give
her away. Upon reaching the altar the
ushers take places at the right and left ;
the bridemaids also move to the right
and left, standing next to tho ' altar rail
and a little forward of tho ushers. Tho
central place is occupied by the bride
and groom, who meet at the altar. The
service over, tho newly-married people
turn from the altar and leave the church
by the middle aisle, bridemaids and
ushers following in reverse order.
The new plush gauze comes in tho
lightest and softest tints, and has a
silvery luster that is very becoming.
Old Pekin striped basques are brought
out, furbished up and worn as new
striped garments, superseding the old
Collars of white linen embroidered
with small dots to match the color in
the dress are to be woin with gingham
The shirrings at tho upper part of
dress sleeves sometimes run around the
arm and sometimes from the shoulder
to tho elbow.
The black spun silk originally made
for Jerseys is used for making draper
ies, and is combined with plain and
Colored sweepers are not to be worn
with long dresses tliis summer, and even
with short dresses creamy lace will be
preferred to any other border.
Six or seven two-inch tucks set above
a side-plaited flounce are used to trim
the skirts of white dresses, and the back
draperies are also occasionally tucked.
The scoop hats are the best of the
small shapes for summer wear. They
really protect the eyes although they
I leave the cheeks and nose to be merci-
i les y
The half-pointed basmies are now
made very short, and are cut into ten or
twelve points. Plaitings of plain satin
are set between the points, and some
times a full point of Spanish lace is
A substitute for the soft drapery at
the back of a dress skirt is a succession
of fan plaitings reaching from tho edge
of the basque to the hem. These plait
ing are lined with crinoline and are stiff
Muslin embroidered with a color
makes the prettiest of summer dresses.
They have plaited underskirts, Grecian
overskirts and surplice waists, and are
trimmed with a great many satin bows
matching the embroidery.
Side pouches and chatelaine bags for
summer use are very dainty affairs, and
are made of tinted satin, hand-painted
in delicate sprays of fkwers and trim
med with flutings of lace.
Elbow sleeves will continue through
the spring and summer months, not only
for evening but for afternoon dress.
With out-of-door toilets very long gloves
will be worn, edged at the top with lace
A remarkable incident occurred at
East Baltimore the other day during a
rain-storm. A large flock of swallows
suddenly made their appearance and
began to descend the chimney of the
residence of police officer Wolff. They
followed in such numbers that the lead
ers were driven to the base of the chim
ney, and tne noise they made led Mr.
Wolff to remove the fireboards, when
the birds quickly filled the room seek
ing exit. The doors and windows were
opened and they flew out. There were
thousands of birds engaged in this
strange demonstration, which lasted for
some time, when the swallows, finding
they could not make a lodgment, wont
off in a great black mass to seek shelter
FACTS AND COMMENTS.
The advantage of living in a country
so vast that no crop can be a failure in
all partii of it is illustrated by late re
ports from the wheat fields. Cool
headed men in Minnesota are predict
ing a largo yield of the best quality,
owing to the reserves of moisture
stored in the soil at au unusual depth,
while from Ohio word comes that the
crop of 1881, contrary to premature re
ports, is likely to bo above the average
and may be the largest ever harvested
in the State. So far as Kansas is con
cerned the Leavenworth Timos frankly
admits that the wheat crop of that Slate
will undoubtedly fall very much below
the average. According to that journal
there has been no little unwarranted
boasting of an enormous yield, but it is
more honest and n better policy to face
a disagreeable fact.
The American Inventor always man
ages to come to time when he is needed.
The laws passed within the last few
years to prevent body-snatching have
faded to accomplish tne desired euci,
and a number of patents have been
issued recently that will ' operate much
more effectually than any laws on this
subject. One of the patents is lor a
clock that gives a loud alarm if any at
tempt is made to open the grave in
which it is deposited. Another pro
vides for the sudden explosion of a
dynamite bomb whenever the burglars
move the coffin. The last patent, re
marks an exchange, should be gener
ally applied. The friends of deceased
persons could slumber in much greater
security if they knew that tho first body
snatcher who attempted to disturb the
remains of a loved one would be blown
The Mudical and Surgical liyrkr
publishes from a medical contributor a
very interesting and suggestive account
of a man who was an habitual periodical
drinker, accustomed to get upon a two
or three weeks' drinking spree every six
or eight weeks, and who insisted upon
being bled freely from the arm at the
end of his spree as a means of " sober
ing up." At one of these bleedings an
attendaut holding the vessel to receive
tho blood " was struck by the odor of
the blood being so strongly alcoholic,
and concluding to see for himself if it
was alcohol in the blood, he set. the ves
sel containing tho blood aside for a
couple of hours, when there was found
floating upon the coagulated blood a
liquid resembling alcohol, and which
burned with the characteristic flame of
alcohol." " This is additional and sig
nificant evidence," says tho National
Temperance Aftiwcrtlp, "as to the in
utility of alcohol as food. Not only has
alcohol 110 food value, but it is so for
eign to the human body as to work
therein serious derangement of its nor
Colonel Roberts, tho inventor of tho
nitry-glycerine torpedo named after him,
who died in Western Pennsylvania re
cently, left an estate valued at about
$2,00(1,000, to bo divided among his
nephews and nieces, to the exclusion of
his own children, whoso mother had
sued for a divorce on tho ground of in
compatibility of temper. All the per
sonal estate was devised to Owen M.
Roberts, a nephew. The colonel hr.d
been urged by his brother and legal ad
viser to modify his will and had express
ed an intention to do so, but tho con
summation was prevented by his death.
Hero was a chance for some costly liti
gation, and it would have been improved
had not the dictates of common sense
prevailed. Tho parties interested got
together, and in view of Colonel Robert's
declaration previous to his death made
an equitable division of the estate among
themselves. It was a decidedly wise
Of the many curious things certain
to be seen at the forthcoming exhibition
of electricity in Paris, not the least re
markable will be the electrical cooking
range of M. Salignac. That ingenious
gentleman is going to fit up his op
paratus in the grill room of the m:
taurant, and intends to furnish a great
variety of meats which have been cooked
by heat generated from the electric
current. At the last Paris exhibition
M. Mouchot roasted mutton in con
densed sunshine, and literally turned
his split on the hearth of tho sun-; but
an enthusiastic admirer might say that
M. Salignac had far surpassed this in
broiling steaks by lightning and warm
ing coffee with the aurora borealis. As
a matter of fact the electric current is
as well fitted to produce heat as it is to
produce light, and just as electricity
will, in all probability, be made to yield
the principal artificial light of the
future, so will doubtless it be applied
to household heating. The same ma
chines which light the house by night
will heat and cook bv dav, besides per
forming other duties, such as driving a
coffee mill or a sewing machine.
Giovanni Bettocchio, a master sad
dler of Turin, having been summoned
to Nice by business engagements, took
with him his only daughter, an intelli
gent child of seven, whose fondness for
music prompted her father to purchase
seats in the theater for the performance
which terminated so tragically. He
secured places in the front row of the
gallery, and was occupying them with
his little girl when the alarm of fire rang
through the house. Snatching the child
up in his arms, he endeavored, and suc
cessfully, to break through the panic
stricken crowd to the gallery door; but
during the struggle tho girl was torn
from his grasp. By an almost super
human effort he contrived to re-enter
the gallery, by that time plunged in all
but total darkness, and while groping
about among ttio overthrown seats,
caught hold of a little girl insensible
from fright whom he carried out into
the street, fully believing her to be his
own daughter, blie proved, however.
to be a strange child. Hastily settiDnr
her down upon the pavement he dis-
perately fought his way for the second
time into the burning theater, frcm
which he never again emerged alive. His
charred corpse was found two days Ltjr
; aii .1 ,
wvuf iwe ruins yj me gauery staire.
I go on a journey far away,"
He said -and he stooped and kisSPd mo then
Over the ocean for many a day
Good-bye," and he kissed mo once again.
Hut onlv a few short months had fled
When again I answered my husband's kiss;
I could not tarry away," he said;
"There is never a 1 ind as fair as this."
Again I stood bv my liuoband'g Bide.
'I go on a journey, sweet, to-day;
Over the river the I oatmen glide
Good-bye; I shall linger long away."
' Ah, he will como back soon, I know,"
I said, as ho stooped for tho parting kiss:
" Ho cannot tarry, ho told me bo;
There is never a land bo fair as this."
But many a month and many a year
Havo flowi since my darling went awf.y.
Will he never come back to meet me here?
Has he found the region of perfect day?
Over tho ocean he went and camoj
Over the river, and lingers there!
Oh, pallid ljoatman! call my namo
Show me the region bo wondrous fair.
HUMOlt OF T1IE DAY.
Old as the hills -The valleys between
After some jocular remarks the Senate
adjourned. New Haven Ifrgister.
The editor of the Oil City Derrick
claims to have a country seat. It is a
Miss Annie L. got married, and now
they speak of her as an Annie-mated
Soldiers are always tho most adept
lovers, because they learn to present
arms and salute.
It is peculiar how sound a man sleeps
when his wife crawls over him on her
way to the kitchen to make a fire.
Tho maple sugar days have come, the
sweetest of the year"; when sugar is
down cellar made, and sold so dreadful
Since 180(5 0,000 divorces have been
granted in Italy, Milan being set down
for no less than 3,000. Since 1870 Rome
has had 000.
It is a noticeable fact that a hog has
to be killed before he is cured. This
is true of two-legged hogs as well as of
quadrupeds. Ilnston Post.
Tho New Y'ork Sun says that a man
with mutton-chop whiskers need have
no fears of the future. He can always
strike a job as coachman.
The New York A drert h w believes that
men would have more luck fishing if
they bought live trout and put 'em in a
bathtub and fished with a sieve.
The first man to try to fast forty days
was a horo, the second an imitator, and
of subsequent ones the public simply re
mark : "The poor deluded fools."
" The harp that once through Tara's halls
The soul of music shed,"
Upon the street now caterwauls,
lo cam a paurone s nreau.
Indian npol is Hera hi
Births, marriages and deaths are re
ported bv an Illinois paper under the
head of ' 'Hatched, Matched, Snatched."
But it could save type and expense by
using tho words "lied, vted, .ueaa,
Dampening! Old Triggs " Hello,
Jones, got your feet sopping wet,
haven t you ? hy don t you wear
rubbers, as I do ? ' I haven't wet my
feet for six months." Jones" Well, 1
should think vou'd be ashamed to say
The New York (iraiiliic has ' about
banished tho nuisance of tall hats at the
theaters. It remarked that homely
women looked best in high hats, and
now all the ladies aro trying to snow
that they aro not dependent on tall hats
for their beauty.
"Mr. Gilhoolv," said a diminutive
bov with a handful of bills, "when are
you going to' pay this bill for them
boots vou got on ? " ' ' How old are you,
sonny?" "Ten years old." "Go tell
your pa you have got too much curiosity
for your age. uatveston mews.
A Rapid Exit from China.
The Chinese, said Professor Draper
to a New York reporter, paid great at
tention to astronomy in ante-historical
times, and they have always linked
their knowledge of astronomy with
astrology. Historical events were noted
by their writers as taking place while
the stars held certain relations to each
other. Speaking of astrology in China,
I am reminded of the unceremonious
way iu which the lato lamented Profes
sor Watson, of Ann Arbor university,
Michigan, was compelled to quit the
Chinese empire about the time of the
transit of Venus a few years ago. Pro
fessor Watson, with another well-known
astronomer, was at the Chinese capital.
The emperor of China was taken sick
with the smallpox, and he died after a
short illness. The event was looked
upon, as all great events are in China,
as influenced by the stars, and it be
came noised'abroad that the two distin
guished astronomers had so influenced
the stars as to causo the emperor's
death. The viceroy, who did not share
the popular belief, quietly informed the
astronomers that they might lose their
lives if they did not go away. They de
parted in the night.
Four Years of Industrial Progress.
The following interesting statistics
are taken from a treasury department
statement of the financial and economic
transactions of the United States dur
ing the past four years:
For year end- For year cud -I'd
NUr. 1,'78. fcd M ar. l.'7D.
ExiHirU ot live Mock, ;
hxi'orts of other tood, i
Total t-ip't iut-rcbaudiae
Total iniu'ts mercliaudUe
4. Ml, MS
Cotton, No. of hales,
Woul, No. ol IKillIJi Is.
W beat, So. of biiHlit-ui,
Corn, No. ot buln-ls. i
1'iK lrou. No. oi tuiiH, '
Coal, No. ol tous.
Vor year eud- -For year end
ed Mar. l,,t.,rdfar. 1,'sl.
Export of live ftock, i
Exiwirtt of otber food, j
Total exu'ta lucre haudige;
Total iuip'U incrchandW
Cnttou. No. of bales.
Wool, No. ol iouudn.
W beat. No. o! buHbt'bi,
Corn, No. of bushels,
I'iK lrou. No. of tow,
Coal, number of tout,
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