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The Elk County advocate. (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, September 29, 1881, Image 1

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7
HENRY A. PARSONS, Jr., Editor and Publisher.
NIL DESPERANDUM.
Two, DoMars, per Annum. I,;.;
VOL. XI.
That Swamp of .WcaiU. ,
A CITf pallad;
re, lt'a itmtKlit nd true. Rood preaolicn triitj wotf
that you hive mid : .1
Po not think tbeso tears nnmauly-thny'r. tha first
(bat I li.voaliod.
But thoy kind of proaaoil and rounded 0(1 my aching
heart and brain,
And they would not bo lot fro of, aail, ther fjv ma
extra pain.
I'm an limorantday-worlior worli ffor foort and rain
and Bleep
And I hardly know the object of tlifc lif. we alar to
keep ;
But I knowwhevi daya are cheorjr, or my hfart la
mailo of lead's
I know Borrow when I ce It and I know my child la
dead.
No, the Isn't much io look at, In t a ilalnish bit ol
clay.
Of the sort of porlshed children yo n arc Booing every
flays
And how the could break a life ur. yon'd be alow to
undcmtiind !
But "lie held mint. Mr. Preacher, in that little
withered hand. "
I ain liml a laborinR-man, sir, of. tho kind that d!i;a
and dolvea,
Cut I've learn od tint human nailnrea cannot atay in
by theinBolvoH ;
They will wander out for aotnotli bb. bo It good or bo
It bud.
And my heart with licra had sett) cd, and the eirl TO
all I had.
Thero aro lota of prett. childroii, with a form, and
face more flue
Let their parents loro and pet them-but thi littlo
one w:w mint.
Tlicro was no one else to clinic 1o when we two were
cut apart,
And It'H rnuirh till amputattoa of the atrong anna
of tho heart!
lis eoiiaolinj, Jtr. Treacher, au1 it'a maybe aa you've
tald-
Ood loves children while '.heT'rW llvinit, and adopta
them when they're dead ;
But my brain won't cjtiit coutriVlnn, do the very best
That 'twaa not God'a mercy took her, but tho aelflsh
ncss ol man.
Why, Bhc lay here, faint and jrasplns;, moaning for a
bit of air,
Choked and (strangled by the foul breath of tho
chimney, over there ;
For it climbed throuRh ovcry window, and It CTopt
beneath the door,
Audi tried to bar against it, and she only choked the
inore.
Sho would lie here with the old look that poor
children Bomthow get :
She had karucd to use her patience, and she did not
cry or fret ;
Cut would lilt her ralo plnehed face up, full of early
cricf and care,
And would whipcr, "I am dying for a little breati
of air."
1 the'd cone out with the zepbyra, 'twouldn't have
seemed ao hard to me.
Or among the cool fresh breezes that come rushlnit
from the sea ;
But it's noihiu less than murder when my darling's
every breath
Chokes and strangles with the poison from that
cursed swamp of death.
Oh, 'tis not enouph that such men own the Ten
grouud we tread.
And the shelter that we crouch in, and the tools
that earn odr bread :
They mut put their blotted mortgage on the air and
on the sky.
And shut out our little heaven, till ourchildrcn pme
and diel
Tea, we wear the cheapest clothing, and our meals
are scant and brief,
ind perhai those follows fancy there's a cheaper
grade of grief ;
But the people all around here, losing children,
friends and mates.
Can Inform them that affliction hasn't any under
rates. Oh, the air Is pure and wholesome wher some babies
crow and rest,
And they trim 'em out with ribbons, and they feed
'em with the best i
But the love they get's an Insult to the God of love
on high
If to earn those children's living some one else's
child must die. . .
I'm no grumbler at the rulers of " this free and
happy land,"
And I donl go round explaining things I do not
understand ;
But there must be something treacherous In the
steering of .the law
When re get a dose of poison out of every breath tte
draw.
I have talked too much, good preacher, and I hope
you won't be vexed.
But 1' in goiui; to make a sermon, with that white
faco for a text j
And I'll preach It, and I'll preach It, till I set our
people wild
'Gainst the heartless, reckless grasping of the men
uho killed my child. ,
Will Curleton, fn flarper't Weekly.
THE COUNTESS.
A ,Tn;ia ruorniDg of last year fouud
Marshal Lester and myself on the good
r.hip Herder, en routo to the Passion
Piny at Oberamruergan, via tho Free
City of Hamburg. As traveling com
pauions vro were admirably mated ho,
optimist; I, pessimist he, full of the
roc "-colored illusions which tint the
fln ialf ol tho twenties; I, in the for
ties, in tho sun of life hot and feverish
he, with life before him; I, already
commencing to glance back at the
milestones on a weary road. Soaroely
old enough to bo his father, I was a
good, heavy brother to him, and confi
dence at its implicit best reigned se
renely between us.
A distinguished graduate of Harvard,
and being of independent fortune, Les
ter betook himself to books and travel,
and, having first paid tribute to his own
magnificent land, he Rpent three years
in travel abroad, during which he
picked np as many languages and the
flotsam and jetsam which render the
fellows who have been there" such de
sirable and enjoyable companions.
Our voyage was absolutely colorless.
We touched at Plymouth, from thence
crofsed over to Cherbonrg, steaming
inside tho gigantic breakwater, and the
morning of the twelfth day fouud us
slowly winding our way up the Elbe be
tween high banks of mud, from behind
which peeped the red-tiled houses, set
in a framework of trees, the foliage of a
vivid and luminous green, and oh I how
refreshing to the ocean-wearied eye.
From Munich we journeyed by rail to
Mui nau, where we put up at the hostelry
now known, to many a " Passion Pil-.
grim" as IIw Kottmuller's, and -in the
glittering sunlight of the' following
morning started for Oberau, an infini
tesimally small village at the foot of tho
giant JJugspite. .
' . The road for a little way lay between
'rows of thady trees and beside a stream
that " zippled a song of welcome." Past
this scene of greenery, what a glorious
sight burst upon ns, causing even my
very heart to leap in very ecstasy. Ris
ing majestically in front were the peaks
of the mountains outlined with snow ;
to the right, the Ettaler range, with the
Ltaller Mandl over five thousand feet
high ; to tho left, the HeruogenBtand
and the Krotten Kopf, over six thon
jand feet, while direotly in our road,
barring the end of the gorge, stood the
Zngspito, ten thousand feet, cameo-cut
against the full blue sky. The sunlight
flashed among tho Titanic crags, laying
bars of gold across dark pine woods,
and illuminating patches of vegetation
till they Bhone in gilded green ; while
delicate shades of pink passed over the
face of the virgin snow-like as Marshal
Lester exclaimed, the first blush in
the heart of the bud of the moss-rose."
I mtiBt hurry up that stoep hill, the
wood enshrined in trees, tho wayside a
fringe of ferrs and mosses, tho clear
littlo river like a silvern thread a thou
sand foot below on our left, the pine
dotted mountain sheer two thousand
feet on our right, and come to the sum
mit, whero the surprising loveliness of
tho Ammerthal gradually unfolded it
self. " Let us take to the fields," observed
Lester ; "the village of Oberammcrgau
must lio behind the shoulder of yonder
hill." ;
" Not until I get a cup of coffee. Here
is the once famous monastory of Ettal,
now a hostelry. Let us go in and taste
the monastic coffee."
Opposite the fortress-like gate of the
monp.6tery stands the house formerly
tho quarters of tho Lord Abbot, to-day
a gristhof. A smiling, rosy-cheeked,
yellow-haired Bavarian maiden, plump
as a quail in October, greeted us with,
"Grus Gott" (God be good to you),
as we entered, and in a trice placed two
cups of coft'ee beforo us on an Oaken
tabl, black as ebony from age.
As wo sat quaffing tho coffco Lester,
who faced the window, suddenly started
to his foot, exclaiming :
" What beautiful girls 1"
Two ladies stood in the roadway;
both wero young, both very beautiful.
They were attired in Ehort skirts, re
vealing rough, hob-nailed boots. ()u
their heads wero dark-green Alpine
hnts, adorned with cock's feathers.
While wo wero incontinently staring,
a gentleman strode into the apartment,
attired in a short gray friczo jacket, with
bright green velvet collar and culTs,
black leather breeches reaching to
nbovo tho knee, and gray worsted stock
ing enveloping tho calf of the log. His
conical felt hat was graced by the ynms
barl, or beard of tho stag chamois. Tho
qnaint old silver buttons on his jacket
wore worth a fortune.
If blue blood and gentle lineage
ever told a tale, it was written upon
tho oroan-white tkin of the young
chasseur, who bowed to us with the
i-tatelv grace of the court of " Bonnie
Prince Cbovlie."
He addressed us in German, with
which v.o were tolerably well ac
quainted. " Come to see the Passion Play, gen
tlemen ? '
' i8 ; wo have traveled exprestly
fron New York to witness it."
"From New York?"
Tbis f.iet seemed to astonish him
considerably, and during our brief con
versation he frequently alluded to it.
"Is there not a pathway through the
dele's to tho village?'' I asked, for Les
ter was gazing at the two girls who
stood merrily chatting outside, evident
ly wailing for the chasBeur.
' Yes ; it runs by the river. Yon
cannot miss it. We are going to fish
in the river," he naively added; "and
it is very diificult to obtain permission
from Giaf zn Pappenheim."
Wo Faw him join the ladies, and it
was quite evident that ho ffas telling
them of the two Yankees who had
como expressly from New York to wit
ness the play.
Ojo of the girls turned as if to got a
look at us tho smaller of the two. She
was of medium height, of light and ele
gant form. A profusion of chestnut
hair framed the oval of a charming
visage, pink and white like the month
of May ; a delicate aquiline nose, a pair
of dark-blue eyes.and a rich.rosy month,
completed the attractions of a faoe
whose expression may be described by
the single word, "winsoiae,
' Is she not worthy of a poet's droam
ing?" gushed Lester, as, with his face
glued to the diamond-shaped pane, he
gazed at her, his soul in his eyes. " Pay
for tho coffee, Noel. I'll wait for you
outside."
When I rejoined him he was already
across the clear and crystal Ammer.
"There Ehe is!" he observed, "They
are going to fish. Let ns get into con
versation with tho young chasseur
again. He's inclined to be very
civil." .
The chamois-hunter, however, gave
us, if not exactly the cold shoulder,
a reception which boded ill to Lester's
wooing, ana as uio young iaaies were
busy with their fly-books beneath the
shade of a tree some paces off, my
stricken friend, to use a vulgarism,
' got no show."
" I will find out who she is," mut
tered Lester. "Ay," he added, half
aloud, and speaking at her, "I will get
an introduction to you if I have to re
main in this valley for twenty years."
She looked up suddenly. I thought
sho smiled as though she had heard and
understood what had been said. I
lifted my hat and passed on, Lester
reluctantly following.
"What's the hurry?" he growled.
" The village won't run away."
"The beds may, though."
" I'll stop here, Noel. My fate is at
work."
" Don't make an ass of yourself 1"
"I tell you," he said, gravely, "I
have been hit badly. You may laugh
at me if you will. Go ! I'll find you,
never fear. Oberammergau isn't New
York.".!
The quaint little village the home
of the Passion Play I found to be rich
in deep eavod houses, all-unexpected
galleries and gables and coignes of
espial, brave and coquettish in new
coats of paint, whitewash and varnish.
Lodgings were not to be had for love
or lucre. I repaired to the home of
Herod, but he would not listen to me.
St. Peter denied me admittance. Judas
refused my pieces of silver. Pilate
wanked bi3 hands of me. Joseph of
Arimathea was three deep. After a
weary searohing I found sanctuary be
1UDGWAY, ELK COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 29,
neath the roof of Oaiaphas, access to
my apartment being gained by a ladder
through a hole in the ceiling of the
principal sitting-room. ' ' -i
Happily for myself, I Was not In love,
and a glance from a pair of dark-blue
eyes, however bright, would go but a
very little way toward satisfying my
inner man. The climb np the hill had
whetted a vigorous appetite; so, leav
ing word for Lester, I repaired to the
GosthofJ Stern, where, in a little boW
window, I played havoc With liver soup
and a veal cutlet.
I was smoking my post-prandial cigar
when Marshal Lester joined me.
"I have found out who she is I" he
exclaimed, the words leaping from his
lips. "She is the daughter of Count
Starnberg; their castle is np in the
woods. You might have soen the flag
flying when we were crossing the river.
They aro no end of swells, and have
their town hosse in Vienna. They only
come here in summer. The young chap
is Count Alexander Starnberg; he is in
the Austrian Horse Guards. I got hold
of him after yon left, and gave him a
couple of those Reinas that we bought
in New York. He is a delightful fel
low. They are coming to the Passion
Play to-morrow. Have yon got seats ?
Where? We must go to the eight mark
seats they are the best."
Later in the evening we sallied forth
in quest of places, and, to Lester's
chargin, could only obtain seats in tho
open air, and among the peasants.
" You always mauago things badly,"
he angrily observed " very badly. If
you had left it to mo, I'd have had
front seats. I won't sit among those
greasy sausage-eating Bavarians. I'll
give ten twenty dollars for a seat in
the best place. Como and sco if Cook's
or Gaze's men can help ns."
Lester found Mr. Cook's agent, a very
polite and anxious personage a mem
ber, by the way, of tho English bar.
This gentleman eventually succeeded in
inducing a braco of Oxford men of his
acquaintance to sell ont to us.
" By Jingo," exclaimed one of them,
as ho chinked the golden prcminru,
"our expenses in Oberammergau aro
paid."
The villugo was thronged with Pas
sion pilgrims, the English clement
mustering in great strength. Every
long-haired man was treated with
marked respect, as ho represented
somo character in tho play, while all
hats were doffed whenever Joseph
Meyer, the Chrintus, passed on his way.
The great tragedy was the one universal
theme, and tiny children lurked in quiet
corners rehearsing their parts for tho
coming tableaux.
As Lester and I strolled through the
place tho crack of a coachman's whip
was heard, and the road cleared for a
carriage to pass.
" Yes, sir ! there she is 1" exclaimed
my companion, convulsively lightening
hi3 clasp on my arm. The young count
was driving, a servant in Alpine dress
seated betide him. The two girls wers
iu the carriage, and, with his back to
the horses, sat an elderly gentleman of
very distinguished appearance, whom
we at once adjudged to be tho head of
the house of Starnberg.
Marshal Lester was on my right, and,
as ho pulled me close to him, I could
feel his heart fluttering like a newly
caught bird,
A quarter to eight found us within
tho theater, which, when considered in
its relation to architectual beauty, pre
sented nothing of importance sivo its
simplicity. Occupying an area.of 20,000
square feet, it was capable of conveni
ently seating between five and six thou
sand people. There were five distinct
plrccs of action for tho players: first,
the proscenium for tho chorus, proces
sions and tho like, second, the central
stago for the tableaux vivants and the
U3ual character scenes; third, the palace
of Pilate; fourth, the palace of Annas;
fifth, the streets of Jerusalem. But,
oh, the background 1 Did any theater
ever possess the like? That glorious
wall of sottest green towering to the
sky I On the leit tun valley of the Am
morgan, with its flower-dappled meads
and its silvern stream stretching away
in the. distance; behind, the cross
crownod Kofel, two thousand feet sheer
ebove the nestling village.
Thanks to the Oxonians, wo had capi
tal cane-bottomed seats in the middle
of the reserve, and beneath a roof. Les
ter remainedstandiog, watching the en
tianco and consulting his watch at least
three times in each tisty seconds.
. "There they are I" ho cried, growing
as pale as death, thon flushing np into
tho roots of his curly hair.
By a etrantre cast of the die their
seats were exactly in front of ns. The
party consisted of five the Count and
Countess of Starnberg, the son and the
t wo girls. "
The young count bowed and shook
hands; the girls gazed at us in an in
quiring sort of way, and the chorus
entered.
A dead silence fell upon the vast audi'
ence, which lasted until the end of the
seventh ect the Garden at Gethsemane
when the burgomaster announced a
recess of one hour and a half.
"What do you think of it?" asked
tho younger Starnberor.
"It is awfully realistic," replied Les
ter.
Then the party rose and swept out.
" Isn't she adorable ?" demanded my
companion as we discussed the inevita
bio veal outlet. " What a beautifully'
shaped head and graceful neck 1 How
deliciously her hair was done t Such
little pink ears Did you observe her
hands how dainty ana white and blue
veined and the rosy fingers and al
mond shaped nails? Did you hour her
speak ? SVhat mutic I Oh, Noel, she is
a revelation 1
" You'd better ask the young chap to
dinner, Lester, and perhaps he'd return
the compliment by inviting as to the
parental $chlogs." I suggested.
" A dinner here I Sausage and veal
outlet ! : I wish I had him within ten
miles of Delmonioo's, or the Bruns
wick, then Let us hurry back, Noel."
The seats of our noble friends were
vacant when we returned, nor did they
reoccupy them. Poor Lester was in
despair, and he kept steadfastly watch
ing the entrance instead of the awful
tragedy being enaoted before him, and
which he had traveled so many thou
sand miles for the purpose of witness
ing. 'As for rflysolf, I never was so
wound ' np in all my life, and at the
Crucifixion soene such a state of ten
sion was I in that, when my companion
accidentally touched me, I actually
cried aloud as If In bodily prdn.
"I guess they come here pretty
often," he murmured, as we returned
to our lodgings; " and take it in act by
act they are so near. That is the rea
son of their not reappearing."
After dinner he proposed a stroll
toward Ettal. Evening in tho Bavarian
Tyrol is divine, and this particular eve
was a perfect glory. Bain-washed and
luminous, the sunsot sky held Hesper
trembling in a solid green of beryl,
whilo high np in the heavens the snow
capped mountains were flashing In a
dozen shades of pink, the valleys glow
ing in a deep, soft pnrple.
It is scarcely necessary to say that
we struck the mountain road for the
Schloss Starnberg, and -an hour's saun
ter brought ns to tho great gilded
gates, the pillars adorned with the fam
ily arms on brazen shields supported
by rampant boars.
"It's no use, Lester," I laughed.
"Your republican simplicity won't
hold water Against that, my boy. You
must bo ab'.o to show that a Lester
rode with Ludwig, tho Bavarian, up the
hill at Ettal in 13:10, when the miracu
lous "
" Hnshl there is some ono at the
gate. Perhaps it's Count Alexander."
Tho stately portal slowly swung back
to permit the exit of au old man in ft
Tyrolean suit. Tho old man smoked a
pipe, and on perceiving m, respectfully
lifted his hat.
Lester was for moving rapidly on, but
I crosfcod tho road and entered into
conversation with tho venerablo re
tainer of tho honso of Starnberg, for
such ho proved to be.
Presently I culled ont to Lester.
"Hero's news for you," I cried.
" Tho whole family huvo flitted."
" Whot 1" and he actually staggmed.
" Went off for tho 3 o'clock train to
Mumau for Munich."
"No. I I cannot, will not believe
it."
"Ask tho old chap yourself."
Lester poured a wholo broadside of
questions into tho gatekeeper which tho
other answered seriatim. He knew that
tho noble family had gono to Munich,
hut whether they intenile.l remaining
io could not say. The housekeeper at
tho scWiiss could tell. Wouldn't the
well born sirs walk up and auk hor?
Wo adopted tho suKircstion. 'Uio
housekeeper a staid, mreue, clderlv
lady, who wore spectacles, and scruti
nized us over them received us in a
great oak hall surrounded by a gallery
and adorned with trophies of the chase.
kajgies in armor primly confroireu us,
and a couple of stuffed wolves seemed
reaJv to go for the calves of our legs,
fixing ns with their glittering eyes as
the Ancient; Manner riveted tho wan
dering attention of the wedding guest.
r roui tuo grim jamtress we learned
that the family had departed
for Munich, on routo to Vienna; that
tho countess as en service was maid-of-honor
to the empress of Austria; thtt
the imperial lady, who had been visit
iDg her mother at tho Garden of Hoses,
on Lake Starnberg, had telegraphed
for tho young countess to come into
waiting at Munich, and that the young
lountess had had but a few honrs, no-
tic?.
Well, Maishnl?" I exclaimed, as
we emerged into the moon-lighted car
riage drive.
' 1 m on to icnna, ho said.
"Bosh!"
" Vou may pooh-pooh me as you will,
N03I ; but one glauoe passed between
that beautiful girl and myself which
has sealed my fate."
1 should liko to see her glance if
yon asked her to become Mrs. m l
go into a French cat in JSew XorK?' I
laughed. :T
Sho would go. into a shanty with
tho man sho loved."
' Ye3, with a prince, or a margrave,
or an elector, or a gran a duke, or a
serene high mightiness."
" Love levels all rants low, .Noel. "
" 'And lays the scepter beside the
shepherd's crook.' Claude Melnotte
takes tho stand, if you please."
I reasoned, bullied, cajoled and
eventually laughed Lester into abandon
ing the idea or toiiowmg ins ignus
fatuus.
I could get presented at the Aus
trian court by our minister," ho urged.
That would not present you to the
Countess Starnberg."
I could at all events see her, bo
near her, bathe in the ennshino of her
beauteous presence.'"
The imperial family are now going
to Ischl, I see, by the Ksirablatt. There
they live in complete retirement. Any
how, wait till the court season next
January. Try and get on the legation
staff. A secona secretary is someooay.'
We visited Vienna, and spent a day
at Schonbrunn. A young officer with
whom we got into conversation at this
charming palace, and who dined with
ns in the evening at the celebrated
Ronnachor's, had tho honor of being
acquainted with the Btarnberg family,
and when he announced that the young
Countess Katrinka was engaged to the
grand duke of some place with a yard'
long name, I thought poor Marshal
Lester would have fainted.
He actually drooped from that honr
became silent, moody and morore,
and I was glad when we struck Havre
and the good ship St. Laurent on our
return trip.
On board was Mr. Dysart, the banker,
of Wall street, a very agreeable gentle
man, and the only American on board
with ourselves. His family, consisting
of his wife, a son ana daughter, accom
panied him.
Miss Dysart did not show until the
third day, as . the weather bad been a
little disagreeable and miserably cold,
' Might I ask you to spread this rug
on that aecu cnair, , sain jar. uyean,
banding Lester, wno otooa near, a gen
nine Culloden plaidie.
Lester, with bad grace enough, flung
it over the chair, and was about moving
forward when Mr. Dysart and daughter
barred his passage,
" Good heaven 1"
This exclamation came from my com
panion as he reeled against tho bul
warks. -
" Are yon unwell, Marshal ?" I anx
iously inquired.
I followed his gaze.
There, right in front of ns, leaning
ob Mi'. Dysart's arm, and blushing a
rosy-red, stood the Conntess of Starn
berg, or, rather, Miss Florence Dysart.
She had been on visit with the
Stainbergs. The other girl was the
countess.
I am to be Marshal Lester's best man.
Town Versus Country.
The London Agricultural Uazette, in
speaking of the rivalry of town and
country people, says that the assump
tion that country people are neces
sarily of loss refinement and narrower
mental resources than the dwellers in
cities is not generally true, whatever
may once have been the case, and goes
on to say: "
Bnt leaving tte professions, and coin
ing down to the wage-earning classes, is
it possible to declare that the artisan
paid by the week has a larger stock of
" know than has the skilled agricul
tural laborer ? It was once pointed out
what a really accomplished man an all
round husbandman of necessity is how
much training of eye and hand goes to
gniding straight a plow and turning a
proper furrow. But this is the smallest
part of what a horseman on a farm has
to be master of. He has to so far assert
his command over his brute comrades
that they yield implicitly their strength
to his will, and obey instantaneously
tho tones of his voico and the bending
of his wrist; and he has so far to famil
iarize himself with the effects of rain
and frost and wind upon the special
soil which he cultivates that ho can tell
when labor bestowed npon it will cause
tho clods to crumble into a mellow
eced-bed and when it will only tend to
convert the top earth into a hasty pud
ding al mud, and ho has, too, to be
come acquainted with tho various seeds,
so as to recognie how fast they will
inn through the colters of the drill,
and how much will be needed to furnish
a B-.ifllcient plant. Nor is this all. If
ho bo to take his sharo in other work
besides mere following the horses he
has to learn how to feed and keep in
health, under purely artificial treat
inect, the various kinds of live stock;
to know at a glance, in chopping out the
root crops or trimming hedge-rows,
which plant or bow to sacrifice and
which to spare. And all this in addi
tion to tho ordinary weather-wisdom,
which, even in oldt-n. times, was admit
ted to bo the prerogative of the hus
bandmen. This rough sketch will show that,
although the sum which represents all
that the townsman has learned may vcrv
possibly seem larger than that which
would express what fills the mind and
memory of the rustic, yet if ono were to
be allowed to deduct from the store of
each what eich has of barren, unprac
tical acquisition of that sort of which
it may be said that " it was not worth
going through the trouble which it took
to learn " then it is exceedingly doubt
ful on which side the balance of mental
wealth would be found to be. In short,
borrowing, with a variation, the conclu
sion of tho policeman in tho "Pirates
of Penzanco," it is pretty 6afe to say
that, "Taking one consideration with
another, the Rustic's head is not an
empty one."
Saved by a Bonnet.
The ether day Colonel Fizzletop, of
Austin, took his wife out for a drive.
Ho was driving a very, h'gh-spirited
horse, when it occurred to Mrs. Fizzle
top tint oho would liko to drive that
kind of an animal. Sho remarked:
" I have often heard yon say, colonel,
that a woman did not know now to
drive; I want to show yon how badly
mistaken you are. Give mo (he reins.
"Not with this buggy," replied Fiz
zletop, trembling all over. " I know
you can drive splendidly, bnt wait un
til to-morrow, and I'll borrow an old
second-hand buggy from a friend for
yon to practice with. I saw where a
woman iu Ualveston smashed no a new
buggy, so that it cost 10 to repair it,
so that it could be used for kindling
wood. Let ns keep this buggy to go to
our funerals in.
" So you think I can't drive."
" I know you can drive well enough,
but before going down tho avenue lot's
drive back and kiss the children and
your mother good-bye, and then go over
to the marble yard and pick ont a
tombstone, and then down to the nn
del taker and get measured, and then '
." Out to the lunatic asylum and leave
you there for awhile. Yon are talking
like you didn t have good sense."
All right. Just take the reins and
give the people a chance to fresco the
wheels with their brains."
" You are in no danger of losing any
brains. (Jet np 1" said Mrs. t lzzletop.
as she took the lines.
" How polite people are to get cut of
the way," she remarked, as the near
wheels scraped a flying drummer's
pants, the end of one of the shafts
knocked the hat off the head of a promi
nent banker, while a life insurance agent
Was acting as a brake for the off-wheel,
without intending it at all.
J ust at this moment, when Fizzletop
had given np all hopes, just as the
buggy was about to telescope a street
car full of paasengers, just as the drivers
of other teams were whipping np their
teams to escape from the Fizzletop ava
lanche on wheels, Mrs. Fizzletop saw a
new hat in a store window, and in spite
of the frantic efforts of the frenzied
animal, held him as in a vise, until Fiz
zletop had purchased the hat, and thus
the danger was averted. When a lady
has made np her mind to have a new
bonnet, two locomotives cannot pull her
past the store window Texas bifUnga,
"Oh, Charley 1" exclaimed the elderly
Miss Prim, "I've learned lota ol things
this summer been studying' botany
and geology and " Charley" What,
more new wrinklts, Miss Prim?"
Charley meant no harm, but Miss Prim
was heard to remark, as she gazed into
her mirror that evening, "The ideal
More new wrinkles, indeed I The
saucebox I"
i v
' .-.1
Nevada's flriancos are In a bad cond -tion.
Her taxes ore said to be increas
ing, while the assigued value of prop
erty diminishes. She rinds it nam to
pay current expensos, and has a funded
debt of $557,017, on which she mufct
pay nine and one-half per cent, interests
It is affirmed by the collectors of
statistics in regard to intemperance that
in the year 1879 there was paid out for
intoxicating drinks by the people of
Germany the sum of $1)50,000,000 ; and
by those of Franco 9580,000,000, ; of
Great Britain, 8750,000 000 ; and of the
United States, $720,000,000 ; making
2,700,000,000.
The arrival in England of a steamer
from Australia with 120 tons of meat in
good condition, indicates that American
cattle raisers must henceforth expect
competition from that quarter. The
distance traversed is, however, so great
as to give American producers important
advantages in the matter of less freight,
greater security and qtvicker returns.
Few sights at tho great industrial fair
In Boston attract more attention than
the appearanco and work of two pupils
from the Hampton institute. One of
these is an Apache Indian, who sur
prises all spectators by his skill in mak
ing shoes. Beside the bench at which
ho sits are two pair of luced shoes, neat
and substantial, ono made after only
six weeks' instruction at the institute,
and the other produced within two or
three days at the fan.
By law marriago in EnglunJ, except
by special license, is not legal if the
ceremony does not take place in tho
morning that n before noon. A special
license, obtainable on payment of a cer
tain fee to the Archbishop of Canteibury
(that is to one of his clerks), legalize? a
marriage at any honr of the day or
night. Of late it has become rather
fushionable to purchase these special
licenses, and to have the ceremony per
formed in the afternoon or evening.
Three years ago the total number cf
steamships in the United States was
4,7172,221 belonging to tho Atlantic
coabt, 310 to the Pacific coast, 'Ji:i totho
likes and 1,22 j to tbo Western rivers
The cumber of these engaged in ocean
commerce with foreign ports, other than
thece cf tho West Indies, Mexico, etc
wa. insignificant and surpassed by the
smalloHt maritime blatea. Oreat JJrit-
ftin hai 3,000 steamers, mainly engaged
io ocean commerce, with a total tonnage
f.f 2 500,000 tons. Duririg the year
1880 317 FtecmeiH were built in the
United States. One hundred and
eighty-two of these were for the lakes
and Western livers, and Ml for Atlan
tic and gulf ports. Tho Boston Globe
points ont a singular feature of the
business of building and controlling
steamships which is, that Scotchmen in
this respect are in an overwhelming
majority.
Lieuteusnt D. A. Lvle has eaten
grasshoppers out West, and he lately
ead a paper before a fcpimgneid science
association prauing them as 100a. Al
though they naturally have a disagree
able smell, he savs that when cooked
they become pleasant to both smell and
taste, no disguise being required. They
can be eaten alter boiling two hours,
with pepper and salt , and thus prepared
ro not easily distinguished from beel
broth. Fried in their own oil they
have a nutty flavor. One drawback to
their use as food is the bones 111 the
small locusts, though in tho larger ones
these can be easily removed, borne
residents of St. Louis have tried a
inner of theso skillfully prepared,
and liked it very well, and after becom
ing accustomed to the llavor they were
considered a desirable addition to the
bill of fare by 6ome. These loensts
feed on vegetable matter, and so may
properly be clas ied n3 clean food.
The Southern States are awaking to a
realization of the riches which exist in
th&ir vast forests. The New Orleans
Democrat estimates that Louisiana con
tains more than 17,000,000 acres of
wooded land. Tho sawmills have made
littlo impression upon this vast supply
of timber, which comprises a large va
riety of valuable woods. Most of it,
too, can bo easily marketed, luanKs to
the bayous and watercourses with which
the State is liberally provided. Since
the increasing scarcity of Western tim
ber became apparent large purchases oi
timbered lands have been made in Ala
bama, Tennessee; Georgia and North
Carolina. It is to be hoped that this
splendid possession, the importance of
which the South is just beginning to
comprehend, will be managed with more
care than has been bestowed upon the
forests of the North and West. This
country must learn tho science of for
estry sooner or later, and now is a good
time to begin.
A table of statistics prepared by the
census bureau shows that the judges of
the supreme court and court of appeals
are elected in twenty-eight States of the
union. Their tenure 01 otnee is as 101
lows: In Vermont for two years; in Ohio
for five ; in Georgia, Indiana, Iowa,
Kansas, Nebraska, Nevada, Oregon,
South Carolina and Texas for six ; in
Minnesota for seven ; in Arkansas, Ken
tucky, Michigan, North Carolina and
Tennessee for eight ; in Colorado for
nine ; in Missouri and Wisconsin for
ten ; in California, Virginia and West
Virginia for twelve; in New York for
fourteen ; in Maryland for fifteen ; in
Pennsylvania for twenty-one years ; and
in Rhode Ibland for life. In all the
other States the judges of these courts
are appointed, in JNew Hampshire,
Delaware. Florida : and . Massachusetts
for life ; in Louisiana for twelve years
in Mississippi for nine ; in Connecticut
for eight : in Maine for seven ; and in
New Jereey for six years. The majority
of the States eleot the judges of these
courts, and as to the length of their
tenure of office tbeib lis very great djt
versity of policy, ranging from two
years in Vermont to a life) tenure in
several of the other States,
1881.
NO. 32.
' Tho Cows In the Corn.
.:i "
It fwrnn almost as if smnmor was gone,
To soo this cow in tlii? Hold of corn;
Tlipro's Brindlo with rod skin and crumpled
horn, : ; .';
Who rambles tho fiolJs in carol os mowl .
And gsthers tho best tho grounds afford. .
Then thoro is IScssin. the spocklcd one, ' '
Who follows on wliero the other has gono;
She isn't a cow that sn-1 and forlorn.
Not sho. Khe's mock snrt patient. I like her
best,
Sho isn't selfl.-di like all tho rest.
So sh 1 notice tho rooplo ahont,
Thoy are Brindle and Beswo, out and out;
Ronio want tho green corn, and havo it too,
And leave what isloft when they get through.
Vermont Watchman.
IlliaiUR OF THE BAT.
The man at the telephone office al
ways has a " holler back."
Blest be tho tie that won't work
around under one's left ear.
It was a schoolmaster who wroto "The
Vacant Chair," soon after a boy left a
bent pin in it.
"An that's the TilJar of Hercules?"
sho said, adjusting her silver spectacles.
Gracious I what s tho rest 01 nis Bed
clothes like, I wonder ?"
An exchange asks: "What wonld a
twenty-five cigar amount to if yon had
no match ? Just a quarter 01 a dollar,
brother. Give ns another.
'Che very heart and root of sin is an
independent and selfish spirit. We
erect the idol self, and not only wish
others to worship it, but we worship it
ourselves.
" It is very muggy here" remarked
the man in the barber shop as ho glanced
at the display of china uponthe shelves;
and then the barber lathered mm and
made him shut his mug.
"I'm afraid you'll be -late at the
partv," said an old lady to her stylish
granddaughter, who replied: "Oh,
you dear grandma, don't you know in
our fashionable set nobody ever goes to
a party till everybody gets there."
"The mainspring of Italian musio in
the eighteenth century," says a recent
writer, " was the ex elusive and passion
ate worship of the human voice." Bnt
Italian music has experienced a change.
Its mainspring is now in a box, and is
worked with a handle.
A dentist presented a bill for the
tenth time to a rich skinflint "It strikes
mo," said the latter, " that this is a
pretty round bill." " Yes," replied the
dentist, "I've sent it round often
enough to make it appear so; and I have
called now to get it squared."
Under the heading of "Gems of
Thought," an exchange has it: "Have
tho courage to piy a debt while tho
money is in yonr p'ccktt." There is a
great deal of that kind of courage in
this world. And can n man pay tho
debt and keep the money in his pocket?
Let ns havo the recipe for tho benfit of
our readers. Ti:cis liftings
Thrillingincident: Adolphus' courage
was np. . Falling on his knees he cried,
" Angelina, dearest, make me the hap
piest of men by accepting my heart and
hand." Casting one look at the great
paw Angelina thrilled in every fiber as
sho replied, sweetly: "Oh, Adolphus,
this is more than I expected.'' Boston
Transcript.
A Craze for Diamonds.
Tho passion for diamonds is increas
ing, says a New York paper. Trobably
at no previous time in the history of the
American world of fashion were so mony
of these precious stones worn aB now,
nor so large a proportion of them of such
excellent quality. Here and there tho
popular taste may select the fanciful
gem tourmaline or zircon bnt the fire
glancing from the facets of a diamond
has a charm for the multitude not pos
sessed by any other gem. Most of the
diamonds come from the Cape of Good
nope, a few from Brazil, and some from
Siberia and Borneo. The discovery of
the African diamonds Bix or seven years
ago npset the market, but it has einco
recovered its equilibrium, merchants
in this city claim that imitation dia
monds have not materially injured their
interests. Such stones depend npon the
glare of gaslight to avoid detection, as
sunlight readily exposes their real char
acter. The domuud for fine stones is
increasing, and fcr stones finer cut than
it is generally possible, to obtain in
Europe. Many diamonds brought to
America are not cnt in prismatic pro
portion and have to be cnt over by Amer
can workmen to bring out their real
beautv. .
A diamond has thirty-six facets on
top and twenty-four facets below. If
the distance from the table to the color
is more than one-third of the stone its
life is lost and it should be recut. The
bottom of a good diamond tapers almost
to a point in the cutting, which is finally
taken off. Of all the diamonds the
white translucent stone that is free
from flaw and perfectly cnt is the most
valuable. Pink diamonds are rare, but
bright yellow, brown and jet black dia
monds may be easily fonnd ' in the
market. While a dull tint injures a
white diamond a marked color of red
or green adds considerably to its value.
Nino-tenths of the bluo diamonds are
milky, while all the fine white stones '
have just a snggesticn of blue in their
composition. . i .
Diamonds cost more than they did
ten years ago. - A perfect brilliant of
the first water is worth about $50 ; one
half carat, $175 ; one carat, $550 ; two
carats, 800. ' Diamonds of a larger
size bring whatever may be obtained
from the purchaser, aa no fixed price
can be stated. As a diamond loses
nine-twentieths of its weight in cutting,
the valne of a rough diamond may be
calculated per carat as one half the esti
mate mentioned. Diamonds imperfect
or thin are usually reduced to' powder
or utilized in tools for drilling puiw
poses,
$000.
Three-carat stones often bring
-The. United States has nearly, fifty
per cent, more paper mills .than any
other country in the world, and it con
sumes about as much paper aa the mills
manufacture.

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