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i J raff i , HENRY A. PARSONS, Jr., Editor and Publisher. NILi DESPERANDUM. Two Dollars per Annum. VOL. XII. RIDGWAY, ELK TOUNTY, PA., THTJllSDAY, APEIL 13. 1882 NO. 8. The Silver Lining'. There's never a day bo sunny But a little cloiul appears t There's never a life so happy But has its timo of tears ; 'et the sun shines out the brigbtor tVlicuover tho tompest clears. There's rievor a garden growing With rcmes in every plot ( There's never a htart so harileed But it has one tender spot : We have only to pruno tho border To find tho forget-me-not. There's never a sun that rises But we know 'twill sot at night J The tii;ls that gleam in the morning At evening ere just as bright ; And tlia hour that is the sweetest Is betweon tho dark and light. There's novcr a dream so happy But tho waking makes us sad ; Thero's never a dioam of sorrow But tho waking makes ns glad ; We shall look some day with wonder At the "troubles" we have had. THAT GREEN SILK. Mrs. Deacon Lewis and Mrs. Davi3, the postmistress, were conferring to gether in mysterious whispers as they leaned over their mutual back-yard fen?b. Said Mrs. Deacon Lewis : 'Seoin' is bclioTin or else I should say jest ns you do, that it, couldn't be truo; but I ji'tt stepped into Miss Badger's to see what she'd ch arge to fix over my black alpaca I wa'n't in any hurry for the alpaca, but I kind of got an idea that there was fomethin' in the wind and I thought meb be Icould find out what it was there and there I saw it with my own two eyes, all over plait ia's and ru film's that itsecmedabarnin' Bhame to cat up good thick silk into, and fixed up in the back so't I couldn't have tho heart to set down on it. And Miss Badger, for all she's so close mouthed, she up and told me who it belonged to, and savs I, 'You don't say so I' and enys sho, 'Yes, I do,' and then she pursed her lips up kind of pro vokin', as if she could tell a great deal more if she was a mind to. But I've got wit enough to put two and two to gether, if foils s is clo?e-raonthed, and pays j, right out for there ain't nothin' nly ubv.t me--says I, 'Then Cordilly Brew ter is u-poin' to get married.' And Mias B.idjuer nhe never ebsnied it." " Wull. it. dues beat all," said Mrs. Daviw. "TbiH las been a sing'lar year, wh it with ihecruet and tho terrible liapppuin's all round; and now Cordilly Brewbter sett in' up to have a green silk dress, w hen he 1 asn't worn anything but borubnz;rie and alpaca and her one old black si k fur v.'p upon twenty years. It's t-nousrh t.i u.iset anybody's ideas altogether, and make 'em thick tuo wo)ld's er;ruii) to en cd. Though I can't, v hatsnch ixtaganee looks much like tl-emi Ionium. " M s 1). m-nti Lttnia hUuck her head in nolemn censure. ' A good black f ilk would hive been much more siiitiiblo aud becouiiu' to a woman most forty years old, to say notliii.' of the vpnr m d tlm makin' over, and for a minister's wife " " You clou't s iy tlint she's goin' to mavry the ruinLterl" exclaimed Mrs. Davis. " Why, I suppose so, of convse. Who can it ba if it isn't the ruinistei?'' I never saw any sign of their keepin' company. Parson Greeley is too speritual to marry a woman that crimps Ler front hair with hot slate pencils; and the rover put more than three eggs into those custards that she carried to the donation party. I should think more likely 'twas somebody that ahe pictiednp when she was down to Haverhill visitin', or John Parmenter, that usrd to keep corcpany with her when ihcy was joun, u-l l:ai J-ind o' becu doiu' it, cfl nod on, ever senco." Oil, sho wonldu't have J hn Par menter, even if he hid spunk enough to ask her, whi''h ho hain't. He is a good fellow, Join in, but he'll never set tho world atira, t:nd he's been runniu' down hill terribly lately; has had to mortfnpe his farm, they do say." 'CordiUy's monoy would come in just right, then; but, as you say, I don't euppeso sho would have him. It's likely that's what's made John turn out so poorly, Ler not haviu' him. But I can't really believe it's the minister. There's Sammy; let's ask him." Sammy Greeley, the minister's young est hopeful, who was engaged in " shin ning up" a neighboring telegraph pole with the ambitious design of attaching his lite to the wire, descended some what reluctantly to the earth and obeyed Mrs. Diviu' beckoning finger. Sammy was a freckled-faced urchin with a turned-up nose, the expression of which was contradicted by a pair of preternatnially solemn and innocent looking blue eyes. In spite of his eyes Sammy was generally regarded as a "limb," and he and his three brothers, Moses, Hosea and Joseph, caused the old proverb concerning ministers' sons to be often repeated with somnle head shakings by the townspeople. " Simmy, is your father goin' to be married ?"'asked Mrs. Davis, with her hand affectionately placed on Sammy's shoulder. " The old gent? He couldn't remem ber to. Nobcdy would have him, either. He's ns bald as a door-knob, aud ho asks a blessin' anywhere along between the meat and the puddin'. And Joo and me would fix her, anyhow." " Wouldn't you like to have him marry a nice, kind lady like Miss Cor dilly Brewster? She would teach you how to behave " " Enow how good enough sow, and I'd wriag her old parrot's neck I I don't believe it, anyhow, but I'm goin' to find out." And off went Sammy, regardless of his kite, and buret, breathless, into his father's study. 'You ain't goin' to marry Miss Brewster and her old greea parrot that swears, and have her always clearin' up and dustin' and losin your papers, are yer?" demanded Sammy. The minister turned from his sermon wriling and regarded Sammy with mild amazoment. Gradually his expression changed to one of perplexity. He re moved his spectacles from his eyes to the top of his head and then he tapped his forehead with the tips of his fin gers, as if to summon forth some stray ing r, collection. " That must be the very thing I was trying to remember! Wait a moment. I must have set it down somewhere." And Parson Greeley drew from one of the pigeon holes of his desk some loose sheets of foolscap paper which had evi dently been used as a diary. Several pages were devoted to memoranda; there the minister read aloud: "" Mem. To confute tho infidel ped dler's argument by St. Paul, and "'Mem. To tell Deborah, mildly but firmly, that so much saleratus is not conducive to health. " Mem. To punish Joseph and Samuel for unseemly oonduct at prayer time. " Mem . To admonishBrotherBatos (gently) that he is becoming unsound in doctrine. " Mem. To endeavor so far as lies in me to restore peace to the singing seats, '"Mem. To endeavor to exercise such a measure of wholesome restraint over Moses and Samuel that they may not become a cause of scandal to the neighborhood. " ' Mem. To devote a greater meas ure of attention to worldly matters, such as applying blacking to my boots, and brushing my raiment. "'Mem. To consider prayerfully whether the use of hair-dye is incom patible with tho principl es of the Christ ian religion or the duties of the Christ ian ministry. "'Mem. That the singing r eats are in the hands of God, and that He causes even the wiath of man to praise Him. " ' Mem. To consider prayerfully the subject of contracting a matrimo nial alliance with Miss Cordelia Brow Bter.' " That's it 1 I knew I was not mis taken ; and I felt that I had leadings from the Lord in that direction ; aud yet, in the xuidet of manifold cares and distractions, it wholly slipped my mind, weak and erring mortal that I am. But it may not yet be too late." And the minister seized his hat, giving it a husty bmsh with his sleeve, and hur ried to the door, turning, however, to lay his hand with unwonted tenderness upon his son's head, saying, solemnly: "3amuel, 1 thank yon for this sugges tion, and I would that I could perceive in you as lively signs of tho workings of grace as I do of wisdom and discern ment beyond your years." Samuel, left alone, looked after his father with a most lugubrious face. " For a feller to go and do it himself, that's the worst of it I I hadn't better let on to Mose and the rest that I did it I No moro fun if she comes litre; she'll want a feller not to tear his clothes and have his hair brushed every minute, and no pie or cake be tween meals. We'll make it lively for her, though Mose and Hoso and Jo and I." All r.nconscious of what w.is in store for her Miss Cordelia Brewster was en gaged in inspecting and admiring her green silk dress, which had ju st been sent home fiom the dressmaker's. Miss Cordelia was a plump little woman, with a pinkish bloom still lingering upon her cheeks, and no trace of time's frosting upon her chestnut locks. Why site had never married was a mystery. For ten years after her father, the vil lage doctor, had dUd, leaving her a modest competence, the gossips had been on tho lookout for signs of matri monial intentions on her purt. When she had passed thirty and was still Miss Cordelia, people gradually ceased to speoulate about her. For some inscrut able reason they decided that Miss Cor delia meant to be an old maid to the end of the chapter. It was observed that even John Parmenter, who had somewhat indeSnitely "hung round" her for years, "kind o' dropped oil';" ho no longer 6at in the singing seats, where Miss Cord alia still serenely kept her p'.aco, despite the rivalry of younger choristors ; so they were not so fre quently thrown together, und he was seldom seen to waik home with her from tho weekly prayer-meeting ; his old sorrel maro was very rarely seen fastened to the hitching-post before Miss Cordelia's door of a Sunday night; and only once or twice had he been seen shyly to offer her a nosegay of southernwood and cinnamon pinks, which grew to great perfection in his garden, and of which, in her girlhood, Miss Cordelia had been very fond. Many other admirers had Miss Cor delia, but she had turned a cold shoul der upon all, and seemed perfectly con tented to live on in her comfortable old house, with trim box-bordered flower beds in the front yard, and lilac bushes crowding in at the windows, with her handmaiden Tryphosa, who was not, as her name suggested, a blooming and romantio young maiden, but an ancient ana angular spinster, wno believed in signs and omens, and always "felt" coming events "in her bones." Try phosa was now gazing at the green silk wit a a melancholy expression of coun tenance. "Green means forsaken; there ain't no denyin' it. And Seliny Wilson, that was merried in green, was laid out a corps e in it before the end of the year; and Mertildy Lyman, that was merried in a white muslin sprigged with green, and green bunnit strings, she had a drunken husband that fell off the hay mow and dislocated his spinal column, and everybody knew her twins wa'n't bright; and" " But I am not going to be married in it, you know, Tryphosa," said Miss Cor delia, turning a merry face up to Miss Try pbosa's doleful one. Perhaps it is only unlucky as a wedding dress. As for being forsaken, there doesn't seem to be anybody left to forsake me but you, and I am' not afraid that all the green dresses in the world could mako you do that." "There ain't no luck about green nohow," said Tryphosa. "K 'twas lay. look, now, or a handsome brown " " I suppose I really ought to have had black," said Miss Cordelia, medita tively; " but some way the spring com ing on, with everything so fresh and bright, made me feel as I used to long ago, and I've made believe to myself I wouldn't own it to anybody but you, Cryphosp but I've made believe I was a girl again. And that's why I had this green silk." "And that's why you'vo been putting posies in your hair. Well, it beats all what a difference there is in folks. Now spring puts me in mind of houso clcanin' and soap-bilin' and bitters Land sakes I if there ain't Parson Gree ley a-comin' up the walk, and nothin' but the old cropple crown for dinner, and all skin and bones at that, and he a-comin' in the yard this blessed min ute!" Miss Cordelia whisked the groon silk out of sight, and smoothed her crimps demurely down, as she hastened to greet her visitor. It happened that Miss Polly Watkins, who went abont the village peddling a concoction known as Watkins' Unap proachable Liniment, was so fortunate as to be passing just as tho minister opened Miss Cordelia's front yard gate. " There I I knew well that there wa'n't never so much smoke without some fire. Miss Badger needn't think she could make me believe that green silk gown with a train didn't mean something. So it's the minister. Well, men-folks is terrible short-sighted Me ters. There is them in Westfield that would make him a good sensible wife '' Miss Polly was eo unhappy as to go on for nearly a quarter of a mile before she met anybody to whom she could tell her news, and then it was only Dr. Ramsay, jogging along behind his old white horse, and between him and Miss Polly " there wa'n't," as she expressed it, " no great likin', no more'n there was apt to be between two of a trade." But still news was news, and Miss Polly could not resist the temptation of an opportunity to share it. "Well, things do turn out queer I" said the doctor to himself, meditatively flicking a fiy off his old white horse as he jogged along again. "I wouldn't have thought she would have had any body, let alone the old parson. If I had thought Why, I'm ten years young er'n he is and a sight better calculated to please the fair sex. And that's a snug bit of property of Miss Cordilly's, and she's a wholesome-looking, good tempered woman, to say nothing of be ing handsome, which don't signify. I believe I can cut out the parson if I try. I always said I would die a bach elor, but it'd a wise man that changes his mind." And the doctor actually whipped Lis hcrso ut of his accustomed jog into a lively trot, and everybody ran to the window, for the doctor in a hurry was a sight that the oldest inhabitant had never seen. In the meantime Misa Polly had met Abner Phillips, one of the "black folks," who lived three miles from the village. But Abner could not have been more interested in Miss Polly's news if he had lived next door to the possessor of tho green silk. His homeward way led him past John Parmrnter's house, and John was hoe ing in his garden. "Wa'al, now, Parson Greeley i3 goin' to do a pretty good thing for himself, ain't ho?' drawled Abner, after the usual comments and inquiries c -incoming crops had been exchanged. "11 knows which sido his bread is buttered on. Parsons ginerally doo3." " What is he going to do ?" inquired John Parmenter. "You don't mean to say you hain't hoard? Wa'al, I declare, you don't know what's goin on so well as black folks doos t Ho's agoin' to marry Miss Cordilly Brewster. Ho's turriblo tejus, tho old purson is, and she'll have to step around lively to fetch up them boys. Bat women-folks always doos set by a minister." After Abner had gone John Par menter dropped his hoe and stood wiping his forehead with hU handker chief with a bewilJered look. "I don'c know why I shouldn't have expected she'd marry, but somehow I didn't. I never thought of such a thing. I don't know why I should feel so about it. If I hadn't the courage to ask her when I was young and prosperous surely I couldn't now. I always began to be a coward the minute I came in sight of her. I never felt so before any other woman; but then I never cared any thing about any other. Anyway, I can't rest until I find out whether its true or not. Cordelia can't object to telling an old friend. Madame Humor rules this village, and sho's very apt to be mis taken." So John set out to call on Miss Cor delia. As he passed the bed of cinna mon pinks he found that, although it was early in the season, three had blos somed that very morning, and ho made them into . a little nosegay with some sprays of fragrant southernwood. And he was in such haste that he forgot to conceal them from the public gaze by a bit of paper, as feeling that it was somewhat ridiculous for a stout old bachelor of forty-five to be carrying about little bouquets he had done on other occasions. The doctor was driving away from Miss Cordelia's door as John approached it, the horse going at his old-fashioned jog, as if there wero nothing in the world that was worth hurrying for. "I hope she isn't ill I" thought John, and then a sudden suspicion seized him. Here might be another rival, and a more formidable one than Parson Greeley. Were rivals spring ing up around him like mush rooms, when he had never thought of the possibility of the existence of one ? Mits Cordelia's cheeks were much flushed, and they grew reelder still at sight of John's nosegay, JoTln, strange to say," did tot blush or stammer us he presented it. Rivals seemed to be a wonderful stimulus to his courage. "Uoraolia, I heard that you were going to marry Parson Greeley. It isn t truf", is it ?" There was something in the tone of nis voioe that made Miss Cordelia start. Was John going to speak, after being dumb so long? "No, it isn't true," said Cordelia, and oast down her eyes. " "Nor nor anybody else?" John was stammering now. Was his courage going to fail? " Ho, nor anyuociy ciso," said Miss Cordelia. ' That is" Trvrhosft. coming into the kitchen from the back yard at that moment, saw a sight which caused her to drop tho cropple crowned roostor, but just deceased, into nor pan oi dcugii. "Elviry Kimball needn't have knocked mo up at 5 o'clock this mornin' to inquire if that green silk dress had a train. I should think it did havo a train I" said Tryphosa, grimly. liazar. Electric Tower. Among tho serious obstacles that encounter the plan of securing illumina tion on a grand scale by means of pow erful electric lamps raised on lofty towers, are the expense and difficulty of erecting fcuch towers, and the awkward ness of tho machinery required to lower the lamps for trimming and returning them to their lofty position. To do away with the latter diiliculty entirely and to materially lesson the former are the objects of a light tower invented by William Golding, of New Orleans, of which tho Scientific American furnishes an illustrated description: Mr. Golding dwpenses with stagings and the usual machinery of tower build ings, and raises his tower into the air by additions made at the bottom. The tower is a cast-iron cylinder, built up of short sections, and kept vertical while iu process of erection and after ward by means of guys. The top sections to which the lamps are to be perma nently attached, are put together first, and by means of an ordinary derrick are set vertically over a hydraulic press placed upon the intended foundation of the tower. Hat hydraulic lift raises the top section until a new section, say, nve feet long, can be set underneath. While the lift is returning to ad mit a new section, the raised tower is held in position by a clamp and kept vertical by means of the guys. When tho new section has been securely bolted on the whole is lifted another length; and thus by successive lifts and additions at the bottom the tower is raised until the required alti tude is attained. Each section of tho tower will be bored out before it is put in place, and have a diameter sufficient to allow the easy passage of a circular platform carrying the lamp trimmer, who will be lifted to the top of the tower by means of a piston operated by compressed air supplied by pumps or a rotary blower. The inventor thinks that tho pressure need never exceed half a pound to the square inch. The cost of a GOO feet tower complete (with out the lamps) raised in the w.iy de scribed is eetirc-.ted at about $30,000. The project of erecting such a tower for the purpose cf illuminating the crescent-shaped water front of New Orleans is beine agitated. Indians' first Stent of the Ocean. Tha Zuui chiefs were driven to the New York Mutual buildirig tn Milk street, and from the summit of tho marble tower, which is 185 fret from the ground, they caught their first glimpso of (he ocean. On en. erring trom the tower upon the bulconv which surrounds it .Mr. Gushing pointed out iLtothebay, end informc-rt the chiefs that the ocean was out there. Amid many exclamations of delight, they re peated, verjf many times: " Show a hat" which Mr. Cnshirig states is a superla tive term, indicating tho most pro found veneration and surprise. At first they seemed a little dazed, but as soon as they realized that they were at length in the presence of the much-longert-fcr "ocean of sunrise," they all fell simultaneously to repeat ing, in a sing-song undertone, certain prayers. These lasted several minute?, and during their continuance they threw to the wiud-j hnndfnlsof ' prayer Hour; they had br. light with them a mixture of line sea f hells and white corn llour. Having completed their dcvotioun, the chiefs commenced to expatiate upon what thev saw around ttietvj, particular ly upon tho tremendous extent of the pueblo of Boston. Pointing to tho line of.the horizon of the bay, tlie cuiei oi the llvo said " That is tho black blue of the ocean, and that is the foam thrown up when it is angvy. We have waited for many generations to see this which our fathers have told us of. Wo now see it. Pass ing wonderful ore tho things we see here. On one side the ocean, and on the other a world of houses. The whole world is filled with different tribes of men." Boston Post. SCIENHFIC XOTES. Experience proves that less injury comes to the eyes from the electrio than from gas light. Colonel Vcniukoff, a Russian traveler. estimates that a third of Asia, as well as a thirteenth . part of Europe, still re mains to bo explored. The milky sap of many plants con tains caoutchouc, suspended in the form of minute, transparent globules, these being frequently as small as 1-20,000 to 1-50,000 of an inch iu diametor. Dr. Wm. A. Hammond finds over heated apartments to be a potent cause of nervous irritability. If we would preserve our amiability and our tran quillity of mind we should live iu well ventilated rooms kept at a temperature Of about sixty-five degrees. Of the sense of taste Professor Mo Eendrick states that the base of the tongue is most sensitive to bitters, and the tip to sweots. A substance must be soluble in the fluid of the mouth to create taste, but no definite relation has been found between tne chemical condi tion of bodies and their taste. Stars seen through the tail of a comet seem to increase in brilliancy. The French astronomer Ch. Andre explains this by an hypothesis that the comets are assemblages of bodies with solid nuclei which reflect and multiply the light, and suggests that the average dimension of these nuclei can be deter mined by studying the amount of increase in the brilliancy of the stars behind them. LIFE AT THE WHITE HOUSE. How Huslnessls fiomliii-lpd at lb Nation'! Henilanarteri. Wo find in the Washington Evening Star the following interesting descrip tion of how business is now condncted at the White House: The White House under the present administration is truly a place of business, and is run on thorough business principles. President Aithurhas set apart certain days of the week for special purposes, and all the employes know that nothing can bo allowed to inteifere with the regular work for each day. One day in every week the President has reserved for himself. Few people can realize the constant strain to which the President subjected. It is absolutely neces sary that he should have some relief from the pressure which is brought to bear upon him from morning until midnight. President Garfield gave himself day and night to the duties cf his office, and tho constant strain on his nerves and strength told upon him very apparently even in the short time that ho held the office. At first Saturday was the day chosen by Presi dent Arthur when ho should seclude himself from the crowd of sight-seers and business callers who daily besiege the White House, but as that day is the one when Senators and Representatives are most at leisure to look after affairs which necessitate a call upon the Presi dent (both houses ot Congress usually adjourning over that day), he decided upon Monday as "his" day. Tuesdays and Fridays have long been "cabinet " days. Members of Congress, however, are received on these days from 10 until 12 o'clock, The latter hour is the time for the regular cabinet meeting. Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays are what are known as business days, when those who have business to lay before the President, or who merely wish to see him and shake him by the hand are received from 11 till 1 o'clock. The President generally breakfasts about 7:30 o'clock, lunches at 2, if the pres sure of business allows him, and dines at 7:30 o'clock. About 4 o'clock he goes out driving. During the evening he almost always has a number of call ers, either personal, friends or officials, with whom he has appointments. When the last caller has departed the Presi dent usually devotes several hours to matters which he has set aside to be considered at this time, or which have been crowded over during tho press of the day. It is at this time a decision is reached on many matters of weight, in cluding frequently important appoint ments. The rules which have been laid down in the White House are not devi ated from except in case of special ap pointment. In fact, business is done somewhat as it was under the Jackson and Grant regimes. It will be remembered that President Garfield's private secretary, J. Stanley Brown, acted in the same capacity for Presi dent Arthur for a timo. Owing to the request of Mrs. Garfield that ho should take charge of and arrange certain pa pers with a view to their use in the biography of the late President he was obliged to sever connection with the White House. Fred J. Phillips, a per sonal friend of President Arthur, suc ceeded Mr. Brown. Although President Arthur has a much smaller force of assistants than his predecessors, the work at the executive mansion is dis- putehed with remarkable promptness and accuracy. This is owing more, perhaps, to the signal abilities of Mr. riiillips than to anything else. He is thorough man of business. Tho President has implicit confidence in him, and relies on him a great deal, and consequently Mr. Phillips succeeds in relieving him of much that would otherwise occupy his time and annoy him. The many callers whom he is obliged to see are dis posed of with rapidity and satisfaction. I lie hnncrv ollioa-seeker is r,ot lured by a falso hope, becmse of a disinclina tion to say no, but he is told at onc9 whether there is any chance for him or not. When he is told no he under stands it to mean no. Mr. Phillips' time is more than occupied. Ho is rushed. He has no relief and no time for recreation. No matter how busy, he always has a pleasant word for those who opproach him. He is not onlv recognized as a thorough business man, but a3 a thorough gentleman. Mr. Crump is the steward of tho White House. He came there with Hayes, and rendered valuable assistance during the late President's il tness. Mr. Crump ond the new French cook make the President's dinner parties. The President s doorkeeper, Charles Loeiller, knows every person of any prominence. He never forgets a face. He is daily passed by crowds of people desirous of audience, but he knows how to discriminate, aud his phleg- matio temperament keeps him level headed. He came with General Grant. Arthur Simmons has been the door keeper'of the private secretary's office since 1866, and he is likely to remain there for a good many years. Edgar Beckley, doorkeeper of the reception- room, came with ueneral Grant. There are several messengers connected with the office. The President s mounted messengers, James Sheridan and Thos. Dolan, are daily seen riding through tne streets. Albert, tne driver, and Jerry, the footman, must not be forgot ten, 'iney were well Known under General Grant's administration, when they looked well behind a fine team. They didn't seem to take much pride in President Hayes's tnrn out. It is very doubtful if President Arthur, who has a turnout befitting a President, will allow his driver to hold tho reins in one hand and large umbrella in the other, uhere is one man about the White House authorized to make arrests, Sergeant Dinsmore. Two other policemen are on duty at night. A police officer was first placed on duty there in 1864. Very little of Sergeant Dinsmore's time is ocoupied with police duty, however. He and the ushers, Messrs. Thomas F. Pendle, who came with Lincoln, and J. T. Riokard, have about as much as they can attend to in receiving callers, and showing what can be seen and answer ing innumerable questions. SUNDAY HEADING. I'nylng Debts. One of our religious exchanges Las the following strong remarks on this subject. They dmu the nail to the head and clinch it : "Men niny so phisticate how they please. They cm never make it right, and all the iniqui tous laws in tho universe cannot make it right for them not to pay their debts. There is a sin in this neglect ns clear and as deserving church discipline r.s is stealing or falso swearing, lie who violates his promise to pay, or wilholds the payment of a debt when it is in his power to meet the obligation, ought to feel that in the sight of all honest men he is a swindler. Religion may be a very comfortable cioaK under wnicu to hide, but if religion does not make a man deal justly, it is not worth having." Religions News mid Xolrs. The Presbyterians in Minnesota num ber 7.419. The bishop-elect of Cuernanaca, the Rev. Prudenzio G. Hernandez, of tho Reformed Mexican church, is a pure- blooded Indian. The Rev. G. Hubert, a Baptist minis ter in Norway, has been sentenced to pay a heavy fine for having baptized a young person, both of whose parents were already members of the Baptist church. According to the Irish church direc tory for the current year there are now 1,708 clergy in the Protestant Episcopal cbnrch of Ireland. In the census of 1861 there was 2,265, and the decrease, therefore, in the twenty years has been 550. The will of the late Leonard Church, of Hartford, is not to be contested, Mrs. Church agreeing to pay the con testants $25,000. The estate is valued at $400,000. Two Congregational so cieties and the American Tract society will receive $4,000 eaoh. The annual statistics of the Moravian church in the United States show that there are now 9,607 communicants, a gain of 136; non-communicants over thirteen years of age number 1,530, and there are 5,307 children. During the vear twenty-five were excluded and 943 " dropped." Bishop Peterkin fays that, contrary to the assertions of some, it is a very com mon thing for ministers to decline churches that are offered to them, with much larger salaiies than they are re ceiving, because they are unwilling to give up a work in which they have be come interested. There are in the United States 3,239 Lutheran ministers. Of these, the largest number in any one State is in Pennsylvania, which has 550; Illi nois has 365; Ohio, 340; Wisconsin, 265; Minnesota, 228; New York, 180; Iowa, 168; Indiana, 135; Michigan, 118. No other State has a hundred. There are at the present day estab lished in the Fiji islmds about 900 Wesleyan churches and 1.400 schools. The communicants are numbered by thousands. The schools aro attended by nearly 50,000 children, and out of a population of about 120,000, over 100,0(10 aro reckoned as regular at tendants at the churches. Idolatry is scarcely known, and cannibalism, for which these inlands were eo famous only fifty years ago, has boerr"volun tarily abandoned save by a single tribe. The Capitalist and the Editor. " I eanie in to ask," bsgan a little old man in a whisper, looking as if feauul of beiug overheard, und drawing his chair close up to the editor, "if you know anything of tho condition of the Nevada Bank ?" 'No special information," replied the editor. 'Then you ihink it solvent-per- fectlv solvent?" demanded the little man, with intense easernoss. Certainly." ' Mifcht I ask what its capital is its naid ud capital ?" " Three millions, I believe," said tho editor, beginning to wonder what man ner of man had floated against him. 'And," continued the man in black, tugging in nervous excitement at his thin onl straggling iron gray beard. whats the Nevada Uank'a reserve- its reserve that's what I want to find out?" "Four millions, I think." "And how is it invested how is it in vested?" He fairly gulped with eager ness as he glued his eyes upon those of the editor and awaited tne reply: "In United States bonds." " Ah." he said, with a great sigh of relief, " I'm glad oi that. Then " - here ho looked all around to make sure there were no listeners "then you think a man could safely intrust his money to it?" " Why, certainly. There is no safer bank in the world. It has unlimited backing." The little old man cuuesled and took the editor's hand, which he shook almost gleefully. " lou nave done me a great favor, sir," he exclaimed, " a great favor and I shall not forget it." " It bothers you to be sure that your money's safe, I suppose, sir ?' said the editor with that respect in tone and manner which every independent citi zen instinctively assumes when address- ins a wealthy man. well er no, not lust yet. The fact is," he cried with a burst of confi dence, " I'm about to change my man ner of life. I'm fifty-five to-day aud have formed a resolution that hence forth I shall save my money instead of spending it. as I have done from my youth up, and I have suffered consid erable anxiety about where to put my money when I get it In point of fact, he went on, his cadaverous face beam' ing, "I am just now excessively hard up, and if you could oblige me, sir, with the loan of a dollar until I am started on my new career you would lay me un aer a neavy obligation." The editor staggered toward the club in the corner, but when he turned he was alone. lirginit wy aev Vnrontcle, Tears. Is it rainy, little flower r Be glad of rain. Too much sun would wither thee J 'Twill shino again. The clouds aro vory b'aelj, 'tis true ; But just behind them ehinos the blue. Art thou weary, tender heart ? Be (1 id of pain. In sorrow sweetest things will grow, As flowers in rai l. Cod watehos, and thou wilt have snm When clouds thoir porfect work have done. M. F. Built. HUMOR OF THE DAY. There ia one thini to bo said in favor of knee breeches they don't bag at the knees. Tho nine that none of the league ill clubs care to taokle strych nine. Rome Sentinel. A man who was formerly a nigh watchman refers to it as his late ooou pation. Lowell Citizen. Philadelphia has an artist named Sword. When eight years of age he was only a little bowio. Persons desirous of learning insect fe shonld interview tho bee. He can always give you a point. Salum Sun beam. Palti is thirtv-nine years old, and has been just that old so long she is used to it, and it doesn't worry her a cent's worth. Some epicures object to duck as a re freshment, because if tho bird isn't well picked the consumer is very apt to feel down in the mouth. Why. of course a dress coat is the proper garment to waar at a swell din nor. It doesn't button in front, and gives you a chance to swell. " A Bk no woman her age," says a recent writer on social ethics. Of course not. ask uer next best iaay friend. She will never fail to give the information. You aro right in objecting to the principle that the bulldog is entitled to the whole of the sidewalk, but if he wants it you'd better let him have it. Boston I'oft. " I am beside myself," said Lorenzo, as he stood by a portrait of himself in the artist's studio. " It isn't the first time though, Lorenzo, sighed his wife in martyr tones. An Italian lady knows forty lan guages and talks tuirty-two, yet when she gets right mad this knowledge is of no use, for her husband can only un derstand one of them. The 222d asteroid has been discov ered, and the world moves right along as if man had no further mission here than making snit soap or whittling up shingles. Free Prix. Our exchanges contain frequent men tion of pound sociables." We have no idea what they r.re, unless they are the kind of entertainment Sullivan and Ryan indulged iu lately. fiiftinga. A statistician computes that one hundred and fifty tons cf human hair nnually clianco owners iu Jt ranoe. We are unablo to gi'e tho figures for this country, as the Indir.ns keep no re cords. " Intelligent!" said the man of his setter dog, " He knows a heap, sir. Why, once ho took tv dislike to a man nd went and induced the man to kick him so I would lick the man! Fact, Bir!" 1'oslon Tin nscript. At a high school examination the teacher asked tho son of an old ice dealet how inanv ouueos tlicro was iu a pound. And tho boy said it depended on the extent of the ?rop, the length of the summer and the heat of the weather, varying from 5 1-2 to 113-4, but never reaching as high as sixteen. Uawkeyc. The duties of tho genuine dyed-m tho wool, simon-pure eJitor are multi farious aud multitudinous, ms worK is not only to "doalittio writin, " as is sometimes supposed, but to cull, to glean, to select, to discriminate, to de cide, to foresee, to observe, to grasp, to explain, to elucidate, to inflate, to boil down, " to be, to do and to suffer," and several hundred other verbs, with a arge number of districts jet to hear from. Newsdealer? Bulletin. Amending the Itepoitp. Our Continent proposes that the prosy Congrenshnal Record be occasion ally veiled witu rnymmg paraphrases oi tho .honorable members' speeches- something, for instance, afterthis style: Then up roee Smith, of Florida, the bent of the d bateri, And epoke abont his measure for protecting alliga tors; lie showed how tourists shoot at them without re- . pard for reason, And asked to have It made a crime t kill tbrm out of season. Then Brown he moved amendment by lnsen.ng a Drier clause Compelling alligators not to operate their jaws; isut Mumi ne up ana earn oi mm wuo luougui toe suhiect comical. That nature, when she gave him sense, bad been to economical. And brown, responding briefly, wished to say 1b this connection, That Smith, in guarding reptiles, had an eye to self protection; Then Smith be flung a volume of th Hessage and iteports, And Brown was laid upon the floor a good deal out or sorts Supplying a Demand. A Philadelphia reporter has recently mado a tour of the shops in that city where modern timber is turned into antique furnituro for the benefit of per sons wno long to possess something to indicate that they had ancestors. One of the dealers said to him confidentially: " xue neit will be old lumuy portraits. There's a man some here iu this city who has been to Euroreand bought up. in junk shops and other places, a lot of old canvases wita lie.ids on them. He got two or three clever young men to dress them up and copy them and make, them up into sets, thus: Knights in armor, fifteenth cei tury; man iu a ruff, sixteenth century; jouth as a cavalier or Puritan, seventeenth century; Pil grim father, eighteenth century; Mr. Brown, of Spruce street, nineteenth century; sot complete in harmonious frames, say SI, 000. Cheap and excel lent idea and are sure to take. Call again."