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The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, April 06, 1854, Image 1

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JDcuotcb to Ipcfitics, literature, Agriculture, Science, JHoralitn, awb (Scncral Sntclliqcncc.
VOL. 14.
Published bj Theodore Scliocli.
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The Time to Die.
I asked the child whose prattling tongue,
With sweet and silvery accents rung;
"Who gambled through the livelong day,
.And careless whiled the hours away
"Tell me, sweet child, the-time to die,"
Thus did that careless boy reply;
"Oh! tis not time for one so young,
Whose race in life is just begun;
Whose hopes within the bud yet lie
Oh! 'tis not time for me to die!"
I ashed the youth whose panting soul
Defied all bonds and spurned control;
Whose heart was filled with boyhood's fire,
And gushing o'er with chaste desire
"Tell me the time when you would die."
Thus did the ardant youth reply;
"When I have bravely battled life,
And conquered all, and gained the strife;
When on Fame's list I've mounted high
Then, only then, 'tis time to die!"
I asked the man whom fleeting time
Bespoke as one in manhood's prime;
Whose thoughtful look and knitted brow,
Proclaimed him in life's warfare now
"Tell roe the time when you would die?"
Thus did the hardy one reply:
"I would yet live and have my health,
To grapple with the yellow wealth;
To guard my wife and family
No, I'm not yet prepared to die!"
I asked the man whose careworn look
A weight of grief and age bespoke;
Whose slow and trembling accents gave
Tones borrowed from the silent grave
Tell me the time when you would die."
Thus did the hoary one reply:
'Though I am old, life yet is sweet,
I am not yet prepared to meet
The monster Death; I know not why
But still I'm not prepared to die !"
Ah me ! 'tis ever thus with man,
Who hugs the life that's but a span ;
Who fleeing from Death's rude alarms,
Is quickly hurried to its arms.
When asked the time that he would die,
'Tis ever thus he will reply:
I am too young, too fair, too blessed;
Too weak, too old, too much oppressed;
Too rich, too poor, too low, too high
And I am hot prepared to die!"
'Get the Testament, Isaac and see
what it says about the 'New basket bill,'
eaid Mrs. Partington, as she came from
church the other Sunday, and folded up
her long shawl, and placed the bonnet in
,, nix j- vi, , , j ,T.
the old Indian basket under the bed. 'It
don't say nothing about it,' said Ike, who
was reading the story of the 'Avenging ,
books!' Ike said not a word but kept on ,
devouring the 'Avenging Sword,' with as '
have preached about it, and on a sabbath
day too. it must ue in tne liioie. irer-
haps it in the Hypocrisy, Isaac. At any
. .fjiji;. tlwJ nnA uA;(nimllf
rate if it ibn tin the good book it ought
to be, for what right has a minister to (
dispense with the Gospel if it isn't in the j
Scripture?' She said this to Isaac, but
the boy had got just where the 'Avenging
c . - . f 0
feword' was begm.ng to awMge-where
the thrilling part came m and was ob-
Jivous. She might as well have talked to
tho ancient corporal who hung there in
rigid perpendicularity upon the wall.
JSoston Post.
Hypocrites first cheat tho world, and
then themselves.
If thou wilt reap comfort in adversity,
eow it in prosperity.
The original of all men is the same;
and virtue is the only nobility.
. If every man had a window in
breast, blinds would be in demand.
An editor in Ncw-IIampshire offers to
bet his head against a sixpence upon some
political question. A brother editor ac-
ccpts the bet; says ue tuinKs it an even
one, and asks who hold thc Flakes ! j
Sword or the Ghost of the lied Tower of coupled with the warm and atlectionate ! iou may do sure ueiore you nave oeen wuoao irauues ana ioioies wc uau uearu
Lunnenburg,' and didn't want to be dis- i welcome of Mrs. Frazer and her daugh- j five minutes with them that Mrs. Twitch- ; so freely commented on. I was disap
. k a - ters, made me rejoice that I had not al-' er rules at 'The Llms," as they call their pointed in my friends, for I saw that the
turbed. 'Dear child said she admiring- owea the rain to prevent our visit. The j cottage; he does so pet and befool her, ' precept. "Speak not evil one of another,
ly, 'he is so busy with his bunday school twQ jrla Acnea, who had been our and give up everything to her in such au ' brethern," was not present to their minds;
l. ..:.i: o n RnnAv - whom L had not before seen, a cracetul Janci; no uouot you nave taiien in love but believe tuey Had
. ,T. n i and lovely eirl, a year or so younger , with them too," said Mrs. razor. and uncharitable view
S7V 1 - , , i were so attractive in their appearance, ' "Yes, indeed," I answered; "I am sure those of whom they
lUB lulv "aav" "l vul "J4""4 "u and so warm n the r rece
A few years ago no matter how many
or how few they might be, for the circum
stance which I am going to narrate might
1 have been equally likely to occur at any
1 J J ""j
i i! i i i" i t f
tune or at, any piacc Deing ueprivea or
the beloved home in which I had passed
j my earlier years, I retired into a neigh
, borhood with which I was wholly unac
j quainted, and the inhabitants of which
were to me entire strangers. I am some
what of a snr.ial t'irn. nnrl nlsn nf rt s.inor-
. , . . i ,
ume temperament: and, as is natural to a
minA nf Hint, einmn T hnA fr.rmr.rl mnnr '
. - " J
very picasant scnemes ior my iuture ure;
and having heard that there was a circlo
nf verv nrrreeablG snr;ipf,v in the nlaco. to
which I had several satisfactory letters of
introduction, not a few of those schemes
were based on the valuable friendships
and pleasant acquaintances I expected to
form. Mv comfortable cottage home was
situated in the outskirts of a populous
! town: and, pending the delivery of the a-
foresaid letters I was very much interest
ed in speculating on the habits and char
acters of the people I met with in my
walks, and who I hoped would in time be
among those friends, concerning whom I
had been building so many castles in the
air. I am no gossip; indeed, I shrink
from the whole system of busy-bodying
and scandal-mongering, and feel it to be
a very just remark that for every tale of
scandal that is told, at least three persons
are injured namely, the speaker, the
listener, and the person spoken of. But
there is a difference between watching
one's neighbors with a view to find out
their private concerns for purposes of tat
tle, and that natural interest with which
we observe those who are to form our
future associates, and with whom our
home and social comforts are to be close
ly interwoven. It was with this latter
feeling, and with a cordial desire to like
and approve, that I was watching my fu
ture friends and associates, and amusing
my rather speculative mind by imagining
a great deal about them, especially about
some few individuals whose appearance
was particularly attractive, when, to my
surprise, and no small pleasure, I one
morning encountered an old schoolmate,
with whom, in early days, I had been
closely intimate, although since that time
we had seen little or nothing of each oth
er. Our pleasure in meeting was mutual,
each lady gave the other a most affec
tionate greeting; and in the course of our
walk for we instantly joined company,
as in days of yore, and gave ourselves up
to chat each communicated to the other
the outline of her history since we last
met. My friend, Mrs. Frazer, had mar
ried an officer in the army, and during
the time of her married life had lived
chiefly abroad. She was now a widow,
and with a son and two grown-up daugh-
ters, had been for Eome years resident at
j Morton, and was, in fact, one of my
; nearest neighbors. A cordial invitation
to join her and her girls at their tea table
was given, and most willingly accepted; a
dear young niece, who had just arrived
! on a visit to me, and had shared our raru
j ble, being of course included in the invi
I tation.
I The lovely morning had turned off into
' a pouring wet afternoon, but Lizzie and I
were not the least daunted, and with
clogs, cloaks, and unbrellas, sallied forth
just before dusk on our expedition. Tho
briSbt sea-coal fire, with a fine crackling
log of wood on its summit, and the pleas-
, , , f1 , J. -1
ant and cheerful aspect of everything a-
oout tne at,orjo 0f mv friend, were most
cxhilerating after our dripping walk, and,
comnanion in our morning's walk, a fine !
I O 1 l
and intelligent girl of about twenty;G race, I
ption of mv Liz-
ze that I fell quite in love with them; '
ana wuen piacea in a luxurious easy-cnair
by the fireside, and in close proximity to I
a tea-table well spread with all those
fl ament3 which be 1
thafc mcal in houseg whcre the inmatC8
dine early. I speedily began to feel my-!
self quite at home, and fell into a state of
bigb enjoyment, no doubt greatly en-
hanced by the circumstance of my bav-
for Jme preyious weeks spenl every
evening in solitude. , As usual, I took the
first opportunity that was offered me by
a lively talk which was being carried on
by the young ones, of noticing those a- '
round me. Mrs. Frazer was, I at onoe
saw, a clever and shrewd woman, with a
strong sense of the ludicrous, and consid-
erable quickness in detecting absurdity or
inf-nnsistencv in others, with little disno-
eition to reserve in exposing them. Agnes'
fine high forehead, and tbe thoughtful ex
pression of her clear, dark eyes, indica
ted a mind of a high intellectual stamp;
and in sweet Grace, there seemed a com
bination of the characters of the mother
and sister, her lively blue eye catching
and reflecting with singular rapidity eve
rything of a mirthful character; whilst at
times, when other subjects arose, I could
dnfPrtf. in hnr chanceful countenance a
ready appreciation of the more weighty
; points in them. Agnes' mind seemed full
of thought, Grace's full ot feeling and
sympathy; Agnes was reflective, Grace
demonstrative at least such were thc
The Scandal Monger
theories formed from the first hours of
our acquaintance. Our meal progressed,
and the hot buttered cakes, and fresh
cream, vanished with celerity, our appe
tites no doubt stimulated by the flavor of
the fragrant tea, which the elder of the
young ladies most gracefully dispensed.
"Come' said I, acting under the in
ebriating influence of the lively society,
and without the most refined discretion,
"now, as you have been resident here, do
tell me a little about my neighbors, who
they all are, and whom I shall best like."
I have since learned three excellent
rules, which all who enter a new neigh
borhood would do well to learn and prac
tice, but which then, alas! I had not my
self discovered: 1st. Remember that ev
ery character has its strong and its weak
pointe, its good and its bad qualities, and
t iaVfc ls'our wlsdom to tr' and dl300vcr
i the former and be a3 blmd as yu can to
latter. 2d. Never ask any one to
I luu Jou "nvcuing auouo your neiguoors,
as you will be sure to hear more of the
I bad tban ,thf g?cL ,?d- .If 7" wisb
to love and be loved, to live in peace and
be useful, never tell to one neighbor any
thing rou may have observed or been told
that is objectionable in another. "The
least said is soonest mended." I would
that I had held by these rules, but, as I
have said, such was not thc case.
"Well," replied Mrs. Frazer, "it is al-
ways a good thing to know a little of the
people one is with, and to be sure who
one may trust; so I will give you a few
hints that maj' come into use hereafter."
"First, thou," said I, "tell a little about
two sweet-looking old ladies who called
on me yesterday. I think the address
on their card was "The Grove."
"0 yes, Mrs. Grey and Miss Park.
They are very nice people indeed most
benevolent and amiable ladies," replied
Mrs. Frazer.
"And agreeable also, I thought," said
"0 Mrs. Douglas, did you really,'said
Aenes. "We think them such tiresome
people, and so will you, when you know
more of them; they do so run on, and tell
you so many old stories."
"Well perhaps they were a little
uiuav. x iuuuuu; uuti x xiiuat unu.
thoujrht them verv wininir and attrac-
tive, and such thorough gentlewoman." "And as to Mrs. Loyd," said Agnes,
"Yes, and that they certainly are," an- , "she is as proud and self-satisfied as hc
swered Mrs. Frazer. "How that came ; can live, and even more fond of money
about, I can scarcely tell, for they are not than he is."
of very exalted descent; their father made ' "They say so, my dear, certainly, said
all his money by cabnet-making, or some Mrs. Frazer, she ha3 never any civility
such trade. I fancy you will not much towards those who do not pay well: how
like them; for, as Agues says, they are ' ever, it may not be so, we are not inti
sad twaddlers, and I have heard that, mato with her."
with all their large fortune, they are rath- j DC2ail- to sec my error: I had thrown
er stingy. a spark into a bundle of combustible ma-
"Well," said I, "there is a nice looking terials, and I was obliged to wait patient
old man who walks about with a lame ly till the fuel was burnt out, till I could
lady I suppose his wife. Who are they? divert the flamo into a more safe direction.
I have taken quite a fancy to them; they But it wa3 in vain that I tried to turn the
look so very cheerful and happy." j conversation into another channel, altho'
A merry glance from Grace was fol- my efforts were strongly seconded by my
lowed by a general laugh, and Mrs. Fr'a- niece, to whom thc subject under discus-
zer replied: "Oh, they are General and
Mrs. licher: we call her Mrs. Iwitcher: as wc would we could not succeed. My
not that she can help being lame, poor ' friend and her daughter produced thisskir
thing, but she looks as if her mouth and 1 mishing warfare, slashing at and wounding
leg were tied together; for every time she every character with which they come in
takes a step, she wriggles her lips and contact, and cutting down ono by one all
twitches her face in the funniest way." j my hopes of finding any to love or respect
"Oh, they are odd people, I assure you, 1 amidst the large circle of humane being?
Mrs. Douglas," said Agnes. "You may
be sure there is plenty of rosemary in
their garden."
Rosemary! said Lizzie "what has that
to do with their oddness ?"
"Why, did you never hear," replied
Agne3 laughing, "that where the lady
rules, the rosemary always flourishes?
absured way."
"Then there are Mrs. and Misses Ilart-
1 snail iikc tnem. i nose gentle pretty-
looking girls, Lizzie, wo spoke to by the
-"ia iuuniiu.
"0, yes, aunt," said Lizzie, "most at-
tractive looking girls."
"They seem so united and affectionate,"
j rej0ined.
"They scan so, certainly," said Mrs.
Frazer; "but it is not all gold that glit-
ters If all tales are true, they are not
much more loving than poor Mrs. Ques-
nel and her son, who, people fancy.be-
cause they are always together, and
neither ot them can ever go anywhere
without the other, are perfect angels; but
those who are behind the scenes tell a
different tale. But really, tho llartlands
are excellent people on tho whole, though
one does hear a few things about them
that are rather odd. But it is a wonder
to me how they bear with that invalid
girl; if she were my daughter I would
soon mane tier rouse uerseit a nttie. '
"0 yes," said Grace, who, I soon saw,
was an excellent little mimic. "ucre
she lies on a couch in her bedroom :
"Gertrude, love, will you be so kind as
to give me that book? Thank you dear
est;" and then: "Julia, darling, will you
give me a little water?" and so on, first
11 . . . it 1 n 1
to ope, and then to the other, instead or
UbkllJ up ami iciuuui ntitiu auvy nauu
for herself. I have no patience with her!"
'But can she?" I said. "I thought
she was unable to walk."
"She could walk well enough if she
would but fry, I have no doubt;" replied
Mrs. Frazer. "Indeed, I know her doc- had received tboso hints; and when the Parisian Sketchi
tor wishes her to do so." ' poor lady had twitched her mouth in ad- , r . " , , i,rt ,t
"It is pretty and interesting to be an dition with her foot, I could not help A fnend llV," ,U the FjubourS du
invalid," rejoined Grace as she threw her- thinking of her as Mrs. Twitcher; and as Tt-'nPle went out afc a late bour ofa Wln
self in a graceful attitude on the couch; a few of the peculiarities, perhaps foiblep, tor evening, to take a pistol without a
it is an opportunity of showing such a of this good couple peeped out, I am a- look to the gunsmith's,
pretty hand and foot as Alice Hartland's shamed to say that the effectof the Frazcrs Turni tlie corner of thc cana hc waa
to great advantage. Now, do not thtnk satirical remarks was so strono- on my1 , . . - . ,
me ill-natured, dear Mrs. Douglas," ad-,' mind, that I allowed myself to be a. stopped by a man of ferocious aspect, who
ded she; "but really I do not think she is ( mused with a sort of quizzing feeling, in- demanded his life or his purse. It is re
a bit ill. Thero arc half a dozen such stead gently trying whether there might lated that Ordy escaped, when placed in
young ladies here, all of whom faucy it not be some chord in the mind of one or a similar predicament, by a pun; our
intercsthis to have weak backB or delicate the other of them which miht resnoud to r i j i n i- . i c i
i 'l c i n t t i c i- n i c i 1 , friend adopted the readiest plan of taking
chests: it is quite a fashion." (the touch of a kindly hand, and make!
"Yes, indeed," said her mother; "what sweet melody; and I kept the conversa-, tho PistoJ frora bis Pocket and PlacinS lt
Grace says is perfectly true, and there is tion at low ebb, and suffered my visitors on tbo highwayman's breast.
quite a host of such girls; and thc doc- to depart without discovering that be-i "Follow me to the next cuard-house, or
tors humor their fancies. I trust I shall (neath a rather unattractive exterior there J'H pUj the trigger," he exclaimed.
never see either of my daughters givo in-, lay hidden hearts full of tenderest svm-1 A 7 , u" ' ,
. i i j , ,i , ,i m J . As it was dark, tho robber did not pcr-
to such whims. 1 1 pathies: that the gentlemen was possessed ' 1
"My dear friend," replied I, "hope it of a fund of information which needed ccivc tbnthe was catened by an unag
may pleaso God to spare you the grief of but the touch of a cogenial f-pirit to iuary lock. He had recourse to the sup
seeing one of your children prostrated as , bring it into use, a spirt I had certainly lications unusual in such cases.
poor Alice appears to ue. l leit sau-
.1 J TM T x 1 i- i?J
ucueu. h ultu was x to nope 10 unu any in me. lurs. iicuei s iamene.-'s, i aiter
of thc valuable people of whom I had wards learned, originated in an accident
been told? "But surely Doctor Loyd, she had encountered whilst following her
who attends Alice Hartland, h a man of husband through scenes of war and suf
too high principle to encourage such de- fering, and the twitching was a spasmod-
ception as you describe; he is as wi'je as jic affection resulting from the injury.
he is kind," I said. IIow often have I thought with shame on
"Oh, you quite mi&tSke there," said my first interview with these good people! ,
Agnes, "for it is he who upholds hor inj It was long ere I called on Alice Ilart
all her nonsense, 'Doctor Lyod objects to .land; but when I did I soon found reason.
; such a thing, and Doctor Lyo'd strictly
! forbids the other, is forever on the lips of
! thc whole party. You know it would!
j not do for doctors to be too clear-sighted,
! what would become of their fees?"
j I confess I was a little nettled as well
as vexed at all this; I had conceived a ve-
j ry high opinion of thc llartlands, to whom
' I had some special introductions; and I
also meant that Dr. Lyod should bo my
, sheet anchor, having heard as high a re -
! port of his general excellence of character
as of his skill. I suppose my countenance
ill. 1.1 !"
i suowca tnat sucn was my lecnng, ior
Mrs. Frazer, as if stimulated by the dc -
sire of establishing her statement, added.
"Oh, it is well that Dr. Loyd loves ruon -
he is all that is kind and attentive to
j those who can pay well, but his gratuit -
; ous patients are sadly neglected. I have
u iii"ii iuuuuu iui unu, uui vuu nm uuu
that he is not all hc appears.,'
sion was as displeasing as to myself: strive i
with which I was surrounded
The evening was now far advanced, and
I gave the signal of departure, which Liz
zie was by no means sorry to hail- I felt
much disposed to say on parting: "Be an
merciful to us when we are gone as you
j can," for I felt that we had no more rea-
i son to expect immunily than any of those
i I was disappointed also in my hopes for
the future, because, although I could not
taKen a one-sided
of tho conduct of
had spoken, yet the
1 r -1
j arrows tnoy nad snot stucic last; and my
; ideas of each individual whose character
had been discussed were lowered, and an
element of distrust had been distilled in
to my mind.
Time passed on, and thc results of this
evil communication showed themselves. Mr. Wade, of Ohio, replied, that he knew,
The poison worked. I had promised, on ; Gf nothing to prevent the Senator from '
my first visit at the llartlands, that Ij taking his "mammy" with him to Nc-
would occasionally go and bit with the sick jbraska, except that he cmihlnt sell her
girl, to whom a little society was tm cn- when hc gnt hvr there. Mr. Badger, with
joyment, and they had kindly said that, all his readiness at repartee, was quite
iuuu iyi anjuaiiiLiiuui;. uui a.
did not co. Day after day passed, and I
felt disinclined to seek the society of one
of whom I had received the impression
that she was botli deceitful and selush,
and I feared to encourage the folly in 'like?'
which she was said to indulge herself. II 'God knows we do!' said poor Caudle.
rnr.nvnRM Mrs. rr.iv s visif; mir, rnnn
Miss Park began to tell me some
anecdotes of past days, with which, if I
bad been unprejudiced I should have been
really much amused, I rather perversely
withheld my interest; and instead of
throwing mv mind into tho subjects which
f mu hrniifflifc fnrtvnrcl I nlii n.1 l,m-Kv
silence, made myself rather repulsive, and
put off for a time an intimacy which I af-
j 0- - - -, - - --- j
terwards found was one well worthy of nauie ia probably John, lie is 111 a lair
cultivation. It was much the samo with a' to bcoome as celebrated as Alexand
all the rest of those who had been wound- er :
ed by tho arrows Mrs. Frazer and her
daughter had shot, and which I had cal-1
led forth by asking for hints about my 1
neighbors. General nnd Mrs. Ticher
paid mo their first viit the day after I
not leu mm to expect that tie would hud
ir. II'T l 1 ..... T r.
to suspect that the insinuations against
her were wholly without foundation. 1
The little foibles of manner which had1
1 been so severely condemned, certainly cx-
isted. There were too many "dearest"
i and "darling?," but the poor child ap- j The robber was obliged to follow our
peared to be a genuine invalid, and mott friend to thc aurd house. They arrived
desirous of becoming otherwise, using all tiere ;us as a Tjatrol came in. Our
i means perscribed for her recovery, and;-. , 1 td 1 h t ' Tie rober
' ready to own with thankfulness all pro-1 nend rela e UI3 is ory. le ro er
gres3 towards that evidently desired end.was examined, and discovered to be an
. She had been for many years confined to escaped convict, of whom the police had
her couch, but her complaints were neu- 'been for a lone time in search.
11 .l 1.1ill
raigic: anu nenco arose tne iaea tuat sue i
jcould shake them off if she would, but!
'that she liked to be ill. Dr. Lovd was1
1 named; and the burst of affectionate grat -
itude which awaited the mention of him,
1 was such as to show that I had not been "I regret to say, I shall be under the ne-
! altogether mistaken . in my originnl viewjceagitvofbri j' H - fc
ui uio
character. But when I learned
that this fee loving man had for seven
long years watched over this would be in
valid, bestowing on her his unvarying at
tention, coming, sometimes for weeks to
gether, and at his busiest seasons, daily,
or even twice a day, and this "all for love
and nothing for reward;" and that though
pressed and urged repeatedly to accept
some remuneration, he had never been
prevailed on to take a single fee during the!
whole ot his attendance 1 began, indeed,
to feel how unwisely I had acted in allow
ing a doubt of his worth to enter my mind.
It was years before the wounds inflict-j
ed on that gossipping evening were all
healed, years before I fully discoved, that!
uiuugii muuii ui wuai .is &uiu, hus suu-
stanuaily truo, yet irom tne mode inj
which all that was faulty or foolish in
each character had been placed in a
prominent position, everything good and
bright had been lost in obscurity, and as
totally false an impression had been left
on my mind as if actual falsehoods had
been stated.
My readers, take warning by me-
have been sti
similar hints were
circumstances descri
new neighborhood,
sucn didq; aim n auy one suumu prouui ,
iacif ior tnese ana i obt;lined iu a wa t an g
i- i - .1 . - " j r
given me under the nnf f, !imr .
ibed. It you go into ah,, f,, ..-A 1
never ask any one prbccn known to glaud luQt
the doubtful kindness, reject it as yoncr WM th0 rumark beard to escape tho
would a tempting fruit that you knew was j y of CII am s lati in l,unis
of a poisonous quality. It is more than!Each wcnt on the principle tb;at ,fhc who
probable that the information you . would , wftS st;1 obtainc(1 tho sw1, d
cet would be
sufficient to mar all
. A ....
intcrcouse with your neighbors; W it is I
highly improbable that it would help you ;
to steer clear or any one uiuicuity or in-
11 111 v i mi - in r i
Durinr? the contest in the Senate on
tho night of the passage of the Nebraska ' merchants in an adjacent town. Hurry
bill, a culogium upon slavery was given lniS alonS he overtook a person whom ha
by Mr. Badger, of North Carolina, and . recognized as a brother clerk, of another
referring to the affection which existed j finnt wlw was mounted for the same er
between master and slave, he mentioued rauu' as himself
his old "mammy," the negro woman who "Well," said Charley, as he rode up, "I
had nursed him, and complained that if don'(e but we're the first ones out this
slavery should be excluded from Nebras- morning. What sends you out so ear
ka. he could not carry this old neirro wo- ly?"
,nan with him if hc went there. To this
, non-piusscd at tins reply, anu quietly
subsided into his seat.
'You quarrel with your wife, my friend;
! and why: Uo you not think and wish a
nnrh nt na wnntc fn hn mnofnr '
BEg" Patience is very good, but perse-
verance is much better: for while tho for
1 nier stands as a stotic under difficulties,
the latter whips them out of tho ring,
I n T . . T rill 1 1 - il. -
iUACIUNF. 1 OETIIY. 1 lie aiUIier 01 Uiu
followiug lines is said to be a distant rel-
tivp to Alcxandee Smith thc poet. His
Ahiirail isrown
With a bran new gown,
Went down to see her sister. ;
When Jonathan Leu,
As hrtFk as :i flea,
J limped right up ud killed her.
NO 22.
uo- j0 not mep
"It is to save you, on the contrary, that
I lead you to the guard house;'
"I am the father of three children."
"I have six."
"I have a wife who depends upon ma
for support."
"And so have I."
"Indeed lam not in reality a wicked
'either am I. Gome it is late and
, . , . ' - i -r . i
or 1 sha11 firc"
Our friend was duly congratulated up
on his presence of mind and the energy
' be bac displayed.
i But," added the officer in command,
"Why so?"
"Because it appears from your own a
vowal, that you carry arms upon your
person, without authority to do so."
Our friend then exhibited his postol,
and showed to the officer, that without;
a lock it wss no arm at all.
"Xot so," said the officer, "a pistol is
always a pistol. I must put your name
on the charge-sheet.
The robber, turned to our friend, said
to him: "Sir, -ou have deceived me.
May what happens to you uow teach you
that bad faith and lies always receive,
sooner or later, their puuishmeut."
There is a good deal of what may bo
termed "Yankee Cunning" in the follow
ing :
A number of years ago the demand in
the ftast for dried plums so advanced tha
I price of that fruit as to induce merchants
all that could bo
ApAM v sl,;irn nt nl11TTIh v:nor vnf nl,.
tainlv nrTiifid thnt hc. wnnlrl hc. rthlf
inonopolfze tbe pllini.markctf erc lonfor
a Ulile onmn(L
. , , . , ,
One inormnc. a shrewd nlnrk nf the
firm of-
bestrode his charger early,
I i iii ( . t . 1
aml saillcU lortil t0 tlJ ot the country
"I've t'ot 1 small note against a man, a-
bout ten miles out here, who is rather
"slow," and I'm going to give him a jor,,r
was f he reply.
They trotted along, and Charley mads
out to inform him that he was going the
Bame wav. but tht hi. hnsinns wis to
suppoona a witness, a meachant ot 1 m.
As they drew up before the store of this,
country merchant, Charley carelessly
threw'to his companion the rciua of hi
horse, requesting him to "just hold thstr
fast" until he ran in and served bis sub
poena, lie waited patiently, until Char
oy came out, and in turn asked him to
hold his horse, as he believed the mer
chant could tellihim where the maker of
the note lived. Going into the store, h
inquired if they had not a quantity o
dried plums.
"Yes," said the merchant, libni I've
just sold them all to a y
have got his money.
oung maiij ad
"What! To my friend but there?"
"les, sir," said tho merchant.
"Then I'm 'sold' too," said he, leaving
thc store.
"I say, Charley, if you've got any moro
I witnesses to subpona, .I'll take aylior
road!' and hu dUl take another cujidihjiifc
it wis tlif ro'd towards fcowv
I nnd others tn ilhnv nn

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