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VOL. U STROUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA. JULY 20, 1854. NO. 3G. Published by Theodore Schoch. TERMS Two dollars per annum in advance Two dollars and r quarter, half yearly and if not paid be fore the end of the year, Two dollars and a half. No papers discontinued until all arrearages are paid, except at the option of the Editor. IO Advertisements not exceeding one square (ten lines) will be inserted three weeks tor one dollar, and twenty-five cents for every subsequent insertion. The charge for one and three insertion the same. A liber al discount made to yearlv advertisers. IE? All letters adJreised to flic Editor must be postpaid. JOB PRINT IX G. Having a general assortment of large, elegant, plain and ornamental Type, we are prepared to execute every description of Card. Circulirs, Hill Heads, Notes, Dlank Receipts Justices, Legal and other Blsnks. Pamphlets, ic. printed with neatness and despatch, on reasonable terms, AT THE OFFICE OF THE JEF FERSOS 3 A IV. Only Two of Us. BY MRS. ROBINSON. 'I've made an engagement for you to spend a day out this week,' observed Squire Crosby, as his wife was placing dinner upon the table. 'Have you? I'm sorry, for fear I shall bo toousy to fulfil it,' she rejoined, in a elight tone of regret. 'Busy about what!' testily exclaimed the speaker. 'I would respectfully in quire, for somewhat less than the hun , dredth time, what you can possibly find to do? It seems to me that you must really suffer from want of exercise.' I do, undoubtedly,' said Mrs. Crosby, dryly. It can't be otherwise,' continued tho squire; decidedly. 'It is a comparatively idle life for a woman to attend to a few household cares.' 'A few household cares.' Yes. mv dear Mrs. Crosbv, and the washing put in into the bargain. "What . -a laborious business!' Squire Crosby looked very wise, and spoke with a slight degree of irony. 'You talk like one who is acquainted -with this subject; but at tho same time I ! am willing to allow that you know as ! much about it as the generality of men; i and that can't be construed into a com pliment to the sex by any means.' j 'But isn't the fact a seJf evident one, j Mrs f;rnhr7 Hnrpn f. I nroi! nnn nnn t I cant! I sec observe look about me j compre- j ienar aemanaea tue cquire. m . 'You might without doubt; but wheth- ,r rnn nn la nnnthor t nntr rnninnn m i wife. 'Be that as it may, however, I am sat isfied that I can fiud enough to do to keep me out of idlenes.' 'When there's onlv two of us.' 'Only two of u$,' added Mrs. Crosby, quietly; 'for it is just as necessary that two should eat as four.' Well, it certainly must be a great un dertaking to cook a little food, wash a few dishes and lay the table three times a day! Why, I could accomplish the "whole in less time than two hours!' 'Those duties you have named donot -comprise the whole of housekeeping, Mr. Crosby. lT--.t i T 1 1 J. )i -1 il rernapb ibuuuiaumaiurow- in ninrr ji nd a while. But it ccrtainlv appears laughable to hear a woman complain of the work when there is only two in the family. 1 verily believe it is nothing but habit,' quoth the squire, with becoming gravity.' 'Suppose 'ou ty it for one day,' pro posed Mrs. Crosby, with like seriousness 'I'll go to the office and do your work, and you can remain at home and do mine.' 'It's rather a novel proposal, and I don't at this time recall to my mind any .,, -i i , celebrated men who have done housework. y, ,. , . .- . , . MfivfiTi r i in nr nnr hi i.r i.rv i rr ir, i - 1 a B t ci.n i,i,; tie the easiest days work 1 shall nave this , . . , .,J . , , , year,' rejoined the husband. i Jioth being agreed, the next day was I i ij r 7 i -r i l A quiet smile lurked upon Mrs. Crosby s O . mouth, and the squiro thought it a fine joke; one which would afford him a large fund of merriment, and be the means of proving to his wife that housework was nothing more than a pleasant amusement. The deluded woman thought her time was fully occupied in keeping a good siz d houso tidy, and in devising new means of gratifying the palate of the squire; who etTange to stay, liked good food, and a bundance of it. He seemed to think that this jumped upon tho table ready cooked, and that Mrs. Crosby (or some other per son) had to utter but a few magical words jand everything was done. Jut to hear these trifling duties termed enormous, when there was 'only two of them' to look after, seemed a great absurdity to Squire Crosby, and he inwardly resolved to write an article on the subject, and let the sterner sex know how much they wcro imposed upon. While reflecting on this laudable deter mination, Mrs. Crosby had occupied her self in jotting down a list of tho duties which demanded attention the next morn ing. This she folded and quietly handed to -her husband, requesting him to make out a Bimilrr paper, so that no misman- agement might ensue. 'Tho list is no longer than usual,' said ii r.,:i:-. . i. -ili. ri Anv the lady smiling at tho earnestness with happen so often as they do! which he surveyed it. 'I go through tho I 'What a woman this is to remember, to name performance every day. It is nec- , be sure! Anybody would suppose that cssary, for they cannot be omitted. But she had kept a dairy of my unlucky ob- don't be frightened; you can take your ' ecrvations for a year. Why, she has own, time;'6hc added in a bantering tone, j them all at her tongue's end!' thought tho Feigning the utmost indifference to tho results, he remarked that he should prob - j ably 'make quick work of it,' and placing , Tho squire had but little appetite; his ' the paper in his pocket, returned to the wifo remarked the fact and hoped 'that 1 office. (the simple exercise of getting a breakfast The liege lord of Mrs. Crosby practised had not taken it away, as one person who law in a suburban town, and had acquir-'should be nameless, was in the habit of ed considerable property by tho same. asserting. 1 His wife had independence enough to do1 The gentleman winced, and prepared her own housework, but could not help himself a generous slioo of bread and but that she deserved some credit for so doing, ter, which ho proceeded to dispose of as She had no particular desire to be praised; though ho had lacked food for weeks. j 'justice where justice is duo,' was her mot - iu, aim uui ieuuors wiu peruupa uoiuciuo j ueu, iurs. vrosDy uonnca ner uonnet ana ; leuiptiuing uis sooty nanus. with her belief that it was rather hard to shawl, and remarking that she would send j 'Excuse the disorder of my dress this work busily a whole morning, and then 'home the dinner, left tho house. Our , morning, Miss Ilaynes,' he added. 'I ; be told that 'she had done nothing com-j hero was now alone, and could carry on was so unfortunate as to upset tho ink paratively.' It was not encouraging to operations without an eye witness; which stand just as you rang, and you see the say the least, and she awaited the experi- he observed 'was much more pleasant.' . effects of the accident.' ment of the next day with much interest, j 'Now we'll consult the list,' he added, J This, it must bo confessed, was rather ! Morning came, and the squire aroused aloud, 'and have things go on in regular a departure from the truth. But the I his wife, and informed her in a significant order. Here goes: 'Get breakfast, squire couldn't think of any other way to tone 'that it was quito time to dress andj clear table, wash dishes, put closet in or- j excuse himself from tho dilemma; and he make a fire.' Mrs. Crosby did not wait (der, wipe down shelves, cleanse sink, rub was not disposed to confess tho exact for a second bidding, but remarked, as silver, black stove, keep fire, attond to stato of tho case to his fair eyed friend, she left tho chamber, 'that ho might put door bell, sweep hall, brush stairs, sweep 1 who, after making a few common place .himself in readiness to see about break- parlor, dining room and kitchen, dust fur-! remarks, took her leave. fast.' niture, trim lamps, do chamber work, I 'What an ingenious excuse that was! Our heroine had taken tho precaution i the night previous to prepare the kind - lings, and in a short time had a brisk fire, tertain visitors, if they should happen to ; She allowed herself to do just what her call.' husband had been in the habit of doing, I 'Bless mo is that all?' cried our house and no more. He usually left the coal-J keeper, 'I call that making a great fuss dust and cinders for her to sift and clear about a little matter. It sounds larger , away, as well as the remnants of wood and i shavings to pick up; and she didn't fcef inclined to limit his privileges at this time, i The dining table stood in tho middle of the room, also covered with books, pa - ; pcrs, writing materials and other articles ' used the evening before. These she did not molest, and without pulling up the , shades, or putting back the chairs, she took a newspaper and began to read. land kitchen, which necessarily consumed The squire had evidently completed his considerable timo. Tho dishwashing toilet quicker than common, but it was proved rather an awkward affair and nevertheless nearly an hour before he! didn't progress so rapidly as ho could made his appearance. It was something jhavo wished. He couldn't wipe the cups novel to see his wife reading before break-i handily, the saucers seemed bungling, fast, and he could not help smiling to wit-; ness he-r perfect sangfroid. Tvo been up a long time, and renew - ed the fire twice, Mr. Crosby,' she remark- ed, without looking up. Tbis was the squire's favorite saluta - tion when his wife happened to take an extra nan of five minutes. mi 4l j i t.Li iuv giriiueiuiiu ujuub liu jupiy, iui iw , understood what the remark meant with-! out the aid oi an interpreter. lie pro- j ..... . . ' i , I think I should relish a piece of beef steak, Mr. Crosby,' remarked- the lady in the rocking-chair. 'Ah, then you shall have it,' remarked the house keeper of the day, patronizing ly as he busied himslf with napkins, cups, saucers, plates, knives, forks, etc He tried to recollect how Mrs. Crosby arran ged them, but in spite of all his attempts he could make no application to that la- " dy for advice; as she apparently was ab- suiucu iu iiui luaum Adjourning to the kitchen, the squire attended the making of a 'delicious cup piling the books and papers upon chai rs, But the black spots wero deeper set than t and nearly spilling some oil, by carrying; he imagined, and required the exhibition ; a lamp the wrong way; and by allowing 'of more elbow grease than ho had any i the kettle to boil over, some five minutes Idea of. Ho contended longest with the i before he got ready to tako it out, he sue-j carving knife, which, inconsequence of ! ceeded in getting the cloth laid, though .being awkwardly bandied, inflicted a in rather an awkward manner. 1 deen cut. as a slight token of remem- or cotiee,' ana-naa a long struggle wiuijho thought, consulting his memorandum, beefsteak, which refused to broil to his 'Ah stove to black! Well, I must admit satisfaction. When returning to the din- that the coffee which boiled over hasn't ing room, after a long abscence, looking , improved its appearance much. I'll look heated and impatient, Mrs. Crosby re-jup the brush.' marked, consulting her watch, 'that he i So saying he prepared the polish and had been absent long enough to make a, beefsteak.' The .observation the squire remember- uv, iy Li u uuttiu MblWlb. uuw U1U uuu UJKUU ;f A, , rvn ,it apparent. At length the coffee and . . i brought in, and all things were pronounced ready by the officiating BLnrnnnt- master ot ceremonies. . , , , - c. u " ueBfu to curve; me sauire tooic uis mace at tne i hour nf Win 1, L .J i. ... head of the tableland proceeded to pour out the coliec. 'The bread, Mr. Crosby,' suggested the pouring out a quantity, applied it to tho t 'I m squire to-day, lom, and you are lady. " 00 j refractory stove. That didn't mend tho my man of business. Mr. Crosby, told 'Bless me, I forgot it!' he exclaimed, matter much, and the smell of burned mo that you had a moraorandum of to droppiug the coffee pot, and jumping up milk began to bo quito disagreeable. The day's work. Produce it if thore's such a so hastily that he came very near over-.room was filled with smoke, the floor a- thing. turning the table. I round the stove was dotted with littlo j Pettifogger fumbled about awhilo a- The bread was soon procured, cut in' spots of blackening, and tho squire's mong the papers, and sucoecded in find slices varying in thickness from a wafer, hands were cortrinly not the cleanest that , ihg the document in question. With tho to a junk of four inches. J ever was, when a violent ring of tho bell ( faintest possible Bmilo that a woman 'The butter, Mr. Crosby,' suggested resounded through the house, waking our could produce, Mrs. Squiro Crosby read his companion, when he was again fairly , uero Etart as though ho had been surpris- " as follows : (seated. 'I ueclare! what a poor memory I, have got.' And setting down tho cup which he had taken up the second time, j ho started for the missini? article. Plac- ing it in triumph by the side of his wife's , nlate. he renewed his attempts at coiiee I j .n Hmq finiA wns siinrflssfiil: but it must be confessed that he eyed the . dark looking beverage with some uncer-! c ha nnQsorl if. nfiross the table. 'Muddy coffee again, Mr. Crosby!' ab ruptly said tho lady. The squire hadn't a word of reply y j. A. uv oi.o nn?;naA 'nncl,. have you ve youuoue iu i; duo , : i : f f l.r t n-4,a g p. , . ,tr i t. extremely careless, or such things couldn't .A F 1 nr nlold " nil III llhL UU 'individual addressed, though ho did not !see fit to make any immediate rejoinder. j When tho morning meal was conclu- wash meat for oven, clean vegetables, ; stew cranberries, make pudding and en than it really is. I think I'll dear the table, to begin with, as that is put down j next.' j So at it he went, knocking things hith- cr and thither at a great hazzard of their ! demolishment. As tho idea didn't occur ' to him that he should carry a waiter full ! of articles at one time, ho made a great many journies between the dining room and tho plates would slip back into tho j water; but after breaking a costly cut ! glass tumbler, (which he felt certain of matching tho next day,) kuocking a largo (piece out of the platter, (which he rcsolv- ed to paste together while dinner was j cooking,) and cracking a pet dish of his i wife's, while setting un a nilc of Dlates. u . , m. ' me matter was Drougut to a ciose. J.ue knife oleaniug was another thing altogeth- er; there wouldn t be any danger of brcak- a ' O . , 7 . fa rauce. This was a mistake that caused many other mistakes during this day, ow- ing, undoubtedlv to the clutnsv bandage i which the squire wrapped about his hand. J It may be well to remark that the a- foresaid list was oarefully laidina conspic- j uous position, and frequently referred to. ' He attended to the silver and then glanc ed at the clock. The hands pointed to an hour which admonished him that 'time waited for no man,' and no sympathy for unexperienced housekeepers. 'What's next on tho doket, I wonder?' set about the operation at once. Tho stove was quito hot, and he couldn't work to any advantage. The more liquid he UU1U Willi UU LUU 1UU1D lb TVU1U DUUWl , a k -h i- tj t and fly off with a cracking noise. He thickened the liquid, but it would not ad- ' here to the stove, and he began to think , a i j it was bewitched, w" 4 lX . " e . . , -- --b - , --n " recouecu mat souieuouv uuu sam that milk was the best thing to wet tho powder intllr ipse Hia liaiMliinn fn runt t with: so he hastened to the pantry, and led m some dishonorable act. " looked towards tho door, then at ms bands, and finally at a large stain on 1 his shirt bosom, which bore a strong re- semblance to blacking. 1 i won c go l mey may rmg un uay n gainst w armer oones. writ or atiacn thcy like !' he exclaimed impatiently, go- ment in the case of Brown vs. Smith. ing to the wash basin and trying to bring bis hands to their accustomed color; but a second ring warned him that some per- son without was not inclined 'to give up so.' 'Confound the titinabula ! I suppose ; it's somo old man for boots, clothes, grease or rags. If he does it again I'll bring a suit of assault and battery !' cried our in- u ut ri,.ii. ci mem nouseKecDcr. iiiaiuug n iuv uua- TiorafA rlnfilips at. Mm dish elnfch. which ha p- -- 1 " mistook for the towe and hurrying to- ,waras tne uoor, wmcu no opuuou w iu a i ' ... , r trembling hand. 'Ah, good morning, quire !' said a well droBsed, good iooking young lady, who evidently expected to seo eomebody telse appear. 'Mrs. Crosby in ?! 'Yes I no, she isn't in' ho stammer ed, for truth to tell, the squire was think ing more of his personal appearance than his wife's absence; besides ho imaginod that tho young lady looked at him with some curiosity, and this embarasscd him tho more. Now it must be observed that our hero was remarkable for tho neatness of his dress, and the stain in upon his linen as sumed enormous dimensions under the searching glanco of his visitor. lie drop I pod his eyes, and forgot the stain in con- t Nobody but a lawyer would have thought of it 1' soliloquized our hero, clancincr complacently in a mirror pertaining to tho hat tree. Imagine his mortification at descerning a black streak across his face which gavo it a most ludicrous as pect. No wonder the young lady looked at him with curiosity, for nothing proba- bly but good manners xestrained her from a -hearty laugh. Squire Crosby went back to tho kitch- en with a slow step. To his utter aston- ishment it was twelve o'clock, and ho had indeed quite forcotten dinner. Tho fire was entirely out, the room was in a sad plight, the list of duties not half comple ted, and the neat, vegetables, etc., re- mained untouched. His zeal had cooled amazingly since morning, and he half repented acceding to his wife's proposition. Lie had expec ted to see her enter every moment, ex press herself satisfied with tho experiment, and desiro him in a very humblo manner to go back to the office and resumo his legitimate sphero of action. But Mrs. Crosby did not appear, and he was at length obliged to collect his en ergies for the purpose of making tho fire. After wearing out his patience, he sue- ceeded in his undertaking, and consigned , deed for styles, iu popped Captain Saun thc meat to a cold oven. It was too late ders to take advice concerning an action to think of a pudding, Mrs. Crosby must for damages brought against him by Jas. excuse that item, although ho had alwavs Jones. expected it-of her, under all circumstan ces. Ho began to think that it did re quiro some ingenuity and calculation to dispose of so many duties in a morning, and to have some faint suspicion that housekeeping wasn't such a fine joke af ter all. He wondered how Mrs. Crosby prospered, and whether she didn't wish herself safe at home; busied himself in anticipating how much work had been laid out, and how completely nonplussed she must inevitably appear, it a clieut should happen to call for advice. This last was such an amusing idea, that our lawyer rubbed his hands together and laughed to himself at the ridiculous figure which ho fancied Mrs. Crosby was about that timo making. 1 Leaving tho squiro to work out tho rest of tho items, wc will attend the foot- certain times, sundry quantities of corn steps of Mrs. Crosby to her husband's ' and potatoes, and to indemnify himself, office, and noto her experience there. he had shot ono of said quadrupeds, for Tom Pettifogger, tho lawyer's clerk, which aot the owner had brought an ac starod somowhat persovercingly when he : tion. saw Mrs. Squire Crosby enter the offico , J can tell you what to do in this case with an assured Btcp, and proceoded to ; precisely as well as tho squire himself,' hang up her bonnet and shawl with a sa(j iV8. Crosbv, smiling still more genuine business air. 'Tom,' said Mrs. Crosby, snapping her fingers carelessly, 'is this office iu perfect vjiuh i v, 'les ma'am,' replied the infant bar- rister, inoro surprised l peg leave to timer witn you sir. uo you sco theso papers scattered all about hero ? Pick them up and filo them in proper order. IW in id tlin cnnirn ?' niiL-nil Petti- fogger, with mouth agapo. Items. Habeas corpus for Levi Low- iS. A writ of replevin for the distress ot Simeon Snooks. Fill out a quit-claim deed for John Styles. Advise Captain Saunders about action for damages a- Examine letters respecting Mrs. Bright's breach of promise case. Get up an issue between Townsend and Ferris. Distress the Widow Sanburn. Make out costs and damages in case of Folgor and Fol som. Examino tho title of land lying north of the Misleto lliver, claimed by Talbot and Tompkins. Kick Bill Buz- zlfiton (firm of Buzzleton and Buggs) out ui tuu uuiuu. jjiumucuu iuu, uuuhuioi for her landlord Hoggin. Tweak John son's nose. Tho above to bo donj, bo sides attending to incidental office busi ness, as it may occur. 'Well, here's work!' thought our lady, her ardor considerably cooled by this formidablo array of duties. 'Tom do you know much?' she asked, recovering her self-possession. Tom didn't seem to know whether ho did or not yawned twice but express ed no opinion in words. I mean, are you any part of a lawyer?' resumed our fair barrister, 'I know all about the squire's business ma'am.' 'Very good! You must co-operate with me to dispatch all the items here named with the least possible dolay. I will test your knowledge a little if you please. What is habeas corpus V 'A writ for delivering a person from false imprisonment, or from one court to another I' said Tompromptly. Very good. What about this Lewii case !' 'I made it out last evening, ma'am.' 'You acted very proporly. Next comes a writ of replevin.' 'That's all reddy finished it just aa you come in. 'I'm glad that you attend to your bus iness, Tom. I'll speak a good word for you to my husband.' 'Thank you, Mrs Crosby.' 'Two things are disposed of, then habeas corpus and the writ of replevin. Do you know our pretty Tom V seamstress, Mr. Pettifogger colored to the very climax of his forehead, and said, in a very peevish manner. 'Help me, Tom, and 1 11 help you. 1 Have you had a quarrel with that young lady lately V j 'Day before yesterday and and ! I'm afraid she wont come around right again.' 'Never fear; I'll warrant you in that quarrel; we'll bring her round in no time, Tom; but but I must get through with Til put you clear through it by- by-' 'Ah, Tom don't swear !' 'Well, I don't know what all this means: but blast me that ain't swear- ma'am if I don't do my best for: you m any way you name. 'Margaret is a fine girl next comes the quit-claim deed. You have got blanks ready to fill up doubtless V 'Exactly !' 'Dip your pen and dash it off,' added Mrs. Crosby. While Pettifoggcv was filling up the 'My husband is not in at this moment, Cartain,' said Mrs. Crosby. 'Please sit down and wait a little while.' iSow, our heroine was s. very pretty woman, and had exceedingly captivating manners, which were generally pleasing to the other sex. Tho captain was not at all averse to 'waiting awhile' with much satisfaction. 'Please tell mo something about this difficulty of yours, Captain. I should for do you like to know tne particulars, know that I have studied law extensively myself?' continued the squire's wife. j Saunders was quite ready to relate ui3 troubles to such a listener, and so straight way unbosomed himself. It appeared that his neighbor Jones swine had tres passed upon his grounds, destroying, at pleasantly.' 'What was the animal worth, do you suppose V sho resumed. ' J ust about six dollars, Mrs. Crosby. 'What do you imagine the whole affair will oost if goes to trial V 'Twenty-fivo or thirty dollars, per- i haps.' I hnn t hn n minnef TrS tr trill no ffl leave mo ten dollars, and I'll settle the case, Captain,' added tho lady, with a smilo that was really bewitohing. Tho captain mused a moment, and then replied, 'I'll do it! Blow mo if I don't believe you can settle it if any body can.' The captain loft the money and do parted. The moment he had gone, a note was dispatched to Farmer Jones, request- ing mm to step ud io mo omce. u un Tom was engaged on the writ of Brown versus Smith, Jones made his appearanco, and tho swine affair was settled for seven dollars. Thc letters of Miss Bright were exam- ined, and nothing liko a promiso of mar- riage could be made out of them. Mrs. Crosby immediately wrote to that young younf lady, advising her to drop the proseou tion of the case, as there wa3 no reason able hope for her succeeding if tho letters were tho only evidence in the promises. Higgen s bill was sent, and Tom wrote a threatening letter to Thompson; but how' was she to 'tcrnty doe Itunuer tne . i T" . I item next on the programme? 'Nothingeasier,' said Tom. White and tell him his case will come on in a fow days; that will bring him right to a set ii i. Pettifogger was instructed to write a . note to that effect, and also respectfully j invite Col. Drummer, to call and settle Major Green's bill. As the witness h"ad; notcomo to deposo in the slander oase,' Wigfing versus Briggs, the fait lawyer! and willing clerk passed to the p.ext item. 'To get up an issue between Townsend , i.iHiiiHiir.. t Don't that mean a quarrel, -A. NS I J I 'Just that,' said Tom. 'Well then, let us prevent it by all moans.' 'We have only to let it stand as it is, then, for they aro peaceable fellows that won't quarrel for themselves.' 'Distress the Widow Sunbury, cornea iiext. Is that nnht, Tom V 'Tho Squire had orders to lay an at tachment on all hor things,' said Tom, by way of explanation. 'For what?' 'Because she can't pay somo kind of a humbug bill brought against her by that swindler Sampson.' 'Can't this unjust action be quashed?' It ought to be, at any rate. It can bo put off long enough to give the Widow warning of vhat is going on, that she can put her th'.qgs out of his reach.' re plied Tom. 'Pettifogger, you trc a treasure. J ust run over and give the ridow a sly pieco of advice, and then I help you to make out damages in the caze of Folgcr and Folsom.' It was thus that Mrs. Crosby w-nt on i and by noon, with the able assistance of lom, had reached three last items, vizt- , 'Kick Bill Buzzlcton (of the firm of Buz zleton & Uuggs; out or tue omce; brow beat Mrs. Chandler, and tweak Johnson' no.se.' 'Now ss none of these persons aro present, what am I to do ?' inquired Mrs. Crosby, looking archly at Tom. 'Why just as the squire would wait till they come in.' 'Exactly; but it is now about the hour of dinner, and if peoplo can't come in at 'proper business hours, how can they ex jpect to be kicked down stairs, browbeat : en, or tweaked?' So my young friend, wc will go to dinner. You will not bo wanted this aftereoon, therefore you need not return to the office but amuse your self in any way you please by going to see Margaret, perhaps. Lock the office and give me the key; I won't forget your services. On her return our gentle attorney met her seamtres3, and having some work to consult her about, asked her home to din ner. As soon as she entered tho house, she knocked at the door and said, lacon ically, ready for dinner V What a ludicrious spectacle met her vision, Mr. Crosby with a segment of & squash in one hand and a potato in tho other. 'I have brought a friend home to din j ner, Mr. Crosby,' added the lady, 'The deuce you have!' cried the squire, ; elevating two notoriously smutty eye brows, half in vexation and halt in won der, at bis wife's gravity. 'How soon will dinner be ready?' sho continued, drawing forth her watch with the air of one being in a hurry. 'Judging by present appearances, it will be on the table in about an hour and a half from this time,' said the new house keeper, opening tho oven door to look at the meat, which wa3 not yet blistered with the heat. 'As there is only two of us, Mr. Cros by, I cannot listen to any excuse for this unnardonablo delav. For mv part I can't see what you have found to employ yourself about ! 'Come, Mrs. Crosby, don't exult until your task has been inquired into. There is such a thing as crowning before ono is out of the woods. 'If you refer to my office business, I am very glad to bo able to inform you that ! it is successfully accomplished, and I havo i half a day to sparo,' replied tho lady, consulting her watch. 'The habeas corpus ' began Mr. Cro3- And tho writ of replevin?' interrup ted Mrs. Crosby. And the Saunder's case?' resumed the 111 MA 'And the threatening letter emmou in the lady. 'The land case, and tho breach of promise affair ?' 'All attended to sir, as well as Buzzlo ton, of the firm ofBuzzleton & Buggs.' 'Ha, ha! no, no! you oaut pu that load ou to me ; Mrs. Crosby ! Where' Tom ?' 'Locked the offico and scut him off did not want him ho will bo back U- a morrow. 'The deuce, Mrs. Crosby ! 'I said Tom, sir. And how havo you 'atteuded to the cases which I left for you 'Ahem ! let's see. Are the dishes wash- Jed, closets in order, shevels wiped down, knives cleansed, stove blacked, fire kept, hall swept, stairs brushed, parlor swept and dusted, lamps trimmed, chamber- worK done 'Hold on, Mrs. Crosby, for Ueaven sake ! No woman alive could do. all that in one forenoon !' 'Bef vour pardon; before you is a wo- man who has done it every iorgpoon for years. For only two of us ? 'For only two of U3, Crosb . 'Are you a wo-Q of veracilVt m Urosbyr asked lb, Souire. with a smile. L0 gentleman ua3 yet presumed to. . .. Ca " 10 .tion,' respond the lady,with a inclination of the body, Then I give ii up, and make a grace-, - ul surrender of these premises.' 'And only two of us?' 'Mrs- Crosby, I.beg your pardon. I t5nlc tb;it 1 am a ,mle wer tban 1 - (concluded on iovrtii pags.) and Ferri3. Trtr,, 7' 1