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1 II If I ILLdJJ 1 I 'i M ScuotcJrta politics, Citcraturc, gricnlturc, Science, illovalitij, nni (Scneral Intelligence.- VOL. 34. STROUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA., JANUARY 4, 1877. NO. SO. 1 t Published by Theodore Sehocli. Ter To dollars a year in advance and if not ...... i,. ..n,I nf the vear. two dollars nd fifiv pnauci"1" - - ., . . .i:j..A.ttiiA1 unfit .11 iriri4pivAi v a ill be charted iJ except attlic option of the Ivhtor. .iri.rtisnii'iits of onesonare of (eurnt line or t., one r thn:e insertions f 1 50. Each sulditional In sertion. SO cents. Longer ones in proportion. JOB PRIXTIXQ OF ALL KIXIW, E(cutdia the highest styln of tho Art, and on the most reasonable terntrt. D 11. NATHANIEL C. MILLER, Physician and Surgeon. 03e aod residence: Curuer Maia and Pocono Street, Strocdsbcrg, Px., Office hours from 7 to S a. m., I to 2 and 7 to 8 p. nt. Oct. 20, l$T6-tf. J. II. 31. 1). Secm-l doir below Tturnett IIou.e. Residence ,i dir wl of Ilirfcit? Quaker Church. OSice ktn S li H ni., 1 to .". p. M., ti to 3 p. m. Hi 2, is;s-!f. D Iii3 sichin und Surgeon, STR0UD3BURG, Pa. Offi" f ir'n'-rly omipifil by Dr. Seip. Residence with J. It! Mill r, "" l-r Lol w the Joarsoiiiau Office. ,li" h lur-i, 7 to i, 12 to Z and G to 9. Jlirll, l.K'tJ. tf. D u. .v. i's:cri, Siirgcon Wentlst. Offi-ein .T;s. Klii-r" new hiiiMtng, nearly opposite tl trin l-bur liauii. Ga-s adiuuistered for xtuctii) wh-'ii ! ir--'I. Sirt-barr, i'i. Jan. 6,'76-tf. D parsirnx, scbgeox and accoucheur. OrV.i in SimuM Hood' new buildin;. nearly op-jw-.it; th) i ! o.'iioi:. Roidnce on Sjrah street, aS 4 Franklin. DiVIX S. I,CK, Atturncy at Law, One door above the "Stroudslmrg House," Stroud-!j'irir, Pa. Collections promptlv in a fie, 0;tolier -2, 1874. ixrai,s3. PGIRSO., H ."Votary I'iiIjIIc, Ral Estate and Insurance Agent and CONVEYANCER. 7V'' ."ieV7 and Corirrynncing in all it bra n'm curcfuilj atid promptly attended to. Ac'imrfcJgimnU taken for other Stoic. Office, K'utler'a Drick Building, near theR.R. Depot, E VST STIIOCD.SBUIIG, PA. P. O. nor 1). September 2?, 1S76. tf. WILLIAM S. REES, Surveyor, Conveyancer and Esal Estate Agent. Farms, Timber Lands and Town Lots FOR SALE. 0!5e m?arly opposite American Iloue and 2 I d )r hlow the Corner Store. March 2 ), 1873-tf. DR. J.LANTZ, SURGEON & MECHANICAL DENTIST. ti!l hi his office on Main street, in the second story f Dr. S. Walton's brick buiMinj, nearly oj.jxtsite the Siroudb.jr IIus. and he fiatrs himself that by eigh Wea years constant practico and tho nnt earnrst and 'riful attenti.-.H to all matters pcrtainimr to his pro Mion. that he is fully able to pcrforui all operation in the dental line in the most careful and akillful man nr. f peial attention given to saving the Natural Teeth ; alir to the loertion of Artificial Toeth on Rubber, Cold, Silver, or Continuous Gums, aad perfect fit in all tun insured. Mmt prjous know the jrreat folly and danper of en truKtinj thir work to the inexperienced, or lo those lir jtt at a distance. April 13, J 874. tf. Opposition to Humbuggery ! The undersigned hereby announces that he lias re ' busi:ie.i at t lie old tand, next door to Ruster'a Clothing .Store, Main street, si roudsburg, I'a., and is filly prepared to k'.coniiQ'xlata all in want of BOOTS and SHOES, made in the latest tvle and of good material. Repair- lae areiumly aueated to. (iive ine a rail. ., l,5-iy.j c. LEWIS WATERS. PAPER HANGER, GLAZIER AND PAINTER, MONltOE STREET, Nearly opposite Kautz's Blacksmith Shop, Stroudsbirg, Pa. The undersigned would respeci fully in iorm the citizens of Slroudsburg and vicinity lhat he is now fully prepared lo doall kinds of Paper Hanging. Glazing and Paintinjr, Promptly and at short notice, and that he ill keep constantly on hand a fine stock ol per Hanging of all descriptions and at price. The patronage of the public. earnestly solicted. May 16, 1872. Dwelling House for Sale. A ery desirable two story Dwelling !! ouae, eontaio- '"t; -ven roni, one or wuich i4Vte fCiT.A'lL. for a Store Rnnm uit notion Maiuktrol. in the Boroujfh of Strjudsburg. The I building U nearly new, and every part tofitia good condition. Kor terms Ac, 'atjJnaoffie,. , fDec. 9, 1875-tC JOB PRINTING, of all kinde neatly ex V ecuted at thia office. MASON TOOK, 1 Hi.-lW asm Great Bargains! H. D. BUSH, The down town Dry Good Merchant will sell his itumcn.se stock of GOODS befor the first day of January, A. D. 1877, to make room for a different line of goods. Goods sold at cost and less than cost ! Hid stock consists of all kind.s of Ladies' and Gents Furnishing Goods, Notions, &c. The public is invited to come and examine his Htock as it will positively be sold cheaper than it can be bought elsewhere. H. D. BUSH. Stroudaburg, Nov. 23, IS76. lm. THE New York Store, STILL DOWN TO THE OLD PRICES in sj'ite of the advance in prices at whole sale, AND OUll STOCK LARGER AND MORE COMPLETE THAN EVER. We have scoured the market for thinirs Interesting and Profitable FOR OUR CUSTOMERS, AND CAN NOW OFFER GREATER .INDUCEMENTS TO CASH BUYERS THAX EVEE ! Dress Goods, Cloths and Cassimcrcs, Flannels and Blankets, bleached and brown MUSLIN, Prints, Shawls, Underwear for For Ladies', Gents' and Children. Gents' Furnishing Goods, HOISERY, KID GLOVES, Ribbons, &c. &c. We propose to MAINTAIN our REP UTATION for being the Cheapest Store BY BEING JUST WHAT the TERM IMPLIES, AND IF ANY THINK THEY HAVE REASON to DOUBT IT WE WOULD VERY KINDLY INVITE THEM TO CALL AND INVESTIGATE, AT The New York Store. Stroudsburg, Oct. 12, 1876. 3m. Caution ! Take Notice! THE public arc hereby cautioned against harboring or trusting any person un der any pretense whatever, from this date, on my account. a;Tl am determined to re sist, to the full extent of the law, the pay ment of all debts contracted by any one in my name without regard to person, except upon my written order LiIAIiLr-r) U. nAiuutrv. Stroudaburg, Pa. urg, Pa. ) 24, 1876. j Au WOOD n i i.- V. .A riimmhr .nil Cntftn. fa.'t PUP, Willi M innftx-iuriBC "' r-ilviwrl;iwkind mwtwkm TJAHGE.trw6MAr.Ii. Vi.ltoc. nmltniM tl,TT'T lcli , rcncx1illt l u."i.wh In mirn to Hi U F.xhiWtloB, " ' ! elini w- or -n.l r..r r-il n frifh priri". rt lermfc C.G Bl ATCHLEY, Kanuf r, 506 Commerce SL.Philat Sept. 23, '76-6m TOWN, " v 151 PUMPS Sailer's Health-Lift. They arc in the midst of a big lawsuit in a neighboring village between Dr. Smiler and the rest of the population of the town. The doctor, it seems, had a large tank placed on the top of his house from which to supply his bath-room, and so forth, with water. The water had to be pumped up about fifty feet from the cistern in the yard, and the doctor found it to be a pretty good sized job, which would cause him constant expense. So after thinking the matter over very carefully one day an idea struck him. He built a room over the cistern and put the word "Sanitarium" over the door. Then he concealed the pump machinery beneath the floor and he rigged up a kind of complicated apparatus with handles and hinges and a crank, so that a man by standing in the middle of the machiue and pulling the handle up and down would operate tiie pump. Then the doctor got out circulars and published advertisements about '-Smiler's Patent Health-Lift," and he secured testi monials from a thousand or so people who agreed that the Health-Lift was the only hope for the physical salvation of the human race. Pretty soon people began to call to see about it, and Smiler would rush them out to the 'Sanitarium" and set them to jerking the handles. And when a customer had pumped up fifty gallons or so, Smiler would charge him a quarter, and tell him that three months of that kind of thing would give him muscles like a prize fighter. He would push the project among his patients. If a man was bilious, or had the toothache, or was afflicted with rheumatism, or croup, or yellow fever, or cholera morbus, Smiler would turn him at the Health Lift and get a quarter each time. The thing became so opular that he had to cidarge his tauk and put in a smaller pump ; and he not only got all his pumping done for nothing, but the people who did it paid him about 1500 a year i'ur the privilege. It began to look like an uncommonly soft thing, and everybody was coutcnted and happy. ' One day however, old Mr. Maginnis, who had been practicing at the Health-Lilt every day for months in order to cure him self of indigestion, jammed the handles down a little too hard, and broke the board upon which he was standing. As the board gave way it rlunged Mr. Maginnis into the cistern, and just as he was sinking for the third time Smiler fished him out with a crooked nail in the end of a clothes prop. As soon the water was drained out of him Maginnis said : "I didn't know 'ou had a cistern under that floor. What did you do that for?" "Why, to keep the air moist. It is healthier than dry air." ' "It looked to me as if there was some kind of a pump under there." "Oh no," said Smiler, "those are only the levers of the Lift." "Mighty queer," said Maginnis thought fully. "If that isn't a pump then I don't know one when I see it." So a few days later Maginnis came around with a lot of other patients, and found the doctor out. They determined to investigate. They pulled up a couple of boards, aud ascertained the facts about the pump. Then they cross-examined Smiler's servant-girl, and learned about the truth, and then they went home mad. A consultation was held, at which every bilious and rheumatic individual who had been working the doctor's pump used violent language, and talked about murder and sudden death. Finally they resolved to prosecute Smiler for damages and for obtaining money under false pretences. It is thought by good judges that by the time the court gets through with Smiler that will be about the unbcalthiest Lift for him he was ever interested in. Max Alder. Farms and Wages in California. The San Francisco Alia says : "Our attention has been called to the members of farms and of agriculturists or persons engaged in farm labor in the Union and in California, and we find that though the farms have on the average three times as many acres in this State, there are rela tively fewer laborers to the farm. The nation has 2,050,000 farms and 5,922,000 farmers, while our State has 23,000 farms and 47,000 farmers. Ohio, Connecticut and Nebraska have about the same propor tion as California, or two agriculturists for each farm; while New York, Pennsylvania and Illinois have three for two farms, and Alabama and Georgia have four for one farm. The larger average size of the Cali fornia farms is caused by the fact that 2,700,000 acres out of 6,200,000 acres in closed are used for pastures of wild grass; and that on account of the dry character aud light, clean soil of most of the farms, a man can cultivate a larger area than in the moist, weedy and heavy soils of the Atlantic States. There has been no not able change in the rate of California for several years. Mechanics get from $2 to 85 per day ; unskilled white male laborers, from 1 to 83 ; and Chinamen from 60 ceuts to 81, without board. Masons, plas ters and plumbers receive from 84 to 85 ; carpenters, blacksmiths and wagoti-makers, from 83 to 84 ; servant girls for general housework, 815 to 825 ; farm laborers, from 825 to S30 in winter and 830 to 850 in summer, per month, with board. The same work is done for half so much on the Atlan tic slope and Australia, and one-third in Europe' and provisions ireaerally are cheap cr in California. 4 Marrying a Ghost. ' HOW A VERMONT JUDGE WAS REUNITED TO HIS DECEASED WIFE. Quite an interesting and some what start ling event transpired at Terre Haute, Ind., one evening, at the seance given by Mrs. Anu Stewart, a noted medium, under the auspices of a committee of gentlemen com posed of Dr. Pence and other spiritualists of this city. Mrs. Stewart's phase of power consists principally in materialization of disembodied spirits. On this occasion some twenty persons, ladies and genltemen, as sembled and were seated around the rostrum in close proximity to the cabinet. In this semi-circle was Judge A., of Vermout, a gentleman of acknowledged talent aud cul ture, and a recent convert to the faith. This gcntlcmau claims to have received through the mcdiumship of Mrs. Stewart the most convincing evidences of the fact that his late wife was actually returned to earth and bearing tidings from the ar.gel world, held sweet communication with him. Some few weeks sicre the judge received impressions that see had a surprise in store for him ; to go to Terre Haute and she will again meet him there. In obedience to these summons, he became singularly con spicuous in a thrilling scene enacted during the progress of the evening's seance. At seven o'clock Mrs. Stewart entered ' the cabinet, the lights were turned down and quiet prevailed, broken only by the sweet and trembling vibrations of the doctor's music-box, a condition necessary to assist the controlling spirit to more full)' materia lize. Some twenty minutes were in this manner whiled away, when the door of the cabinet opened, disclosing an angelic figure arrayed in a complete bridal costume of snow white texture, indescribably beautiful. The veil, which appeared like a fleecy vapor, encircled her brow, and being caught at the temples, fell in graceful folds, and seemingly almost enveloped her entire form. Thus, like treading on clouds, the form walked softly out upon the rostrum. The judge, who had received spiritual intelli gence as to what was about to occur, at once recognized the materialization as that of his departed wife, and exhibiting con siderable feeling mingled with dignity of manner, approached her with affectionate greeting, and placing within her gloved hand a boquet of rare flowers, imprinted upou her lips a fervent kiss. "Are you ready ?" inquired the doctor. "We are," responded the judge. Justice Denehle, of this city, then stepped upon the rostrum and joining the hands of the couple, in a few well chosen words, in the name of the great over-ruling power, united the mortal to the immortal, vows of eternal constancy were exchanged ; pledges of love were made anew. At the conclusion ot this ceremony the spirit bride received the congratulations of the company present, then slowly re ceded. As she crossed the threshold of the cabinet a dazzling light flooded its pre cincts, revcaliug to the audience a spirit face of marvelous beauty. The music box sent forth its nervous notes airain as the writer sat in patient waiting, trusting that the next materialization might prove to be his "Uncle Dave." He failed to put in an appearance. Cincinnati Commerical. CREMATION IN GEORGIA. From the Augusta Constitutionalist. In Augusta, on Saturday evening last, the body of a man who died on the 3d ult Atlanta, was cremated under the direction of "The Oriental Order of Humanity." The coffin, a handsome rosewood, upon which was engraved upon a silver plate, "William II. Suppus, age, 42 ; died Novem ber 4th, 1S76," was placed upon the pile, and the order was then gathered in a cir cle, solemn, grand and peculiar, around the mortal remains of the deceased brother. After the singular prayer of the order had been delivered by the Junior Friar, the torch was solemnly and deliberately applied to the pile, and at ouce the flames leaped upward. The coffin was soon enveloped m flames and thousands saw what had never been seen here before, a human body cremated. Balconies, windows, housetops, trees, awn ing, to say nothing of the living mass that thronged the street, were filled to witness the proceeding. While the fire was lap ping in angry fury the body of this great man, the Friar delivered in the peculiar language of the order, a most touching ora tion. Soon the coffin began to crumble, and a ghastly spectacle was presented to the' eye. The body, blackened, burning,, hissing, smoking, was clearly visible, and as the strong odors filled the air, the cries and shrieks of the men, women and children, were heard rending the air on all sides. After the funeral fires had burned down, all that was mortal of W. B. Suppus was gathered in the urn by the "Most Worthy Keeper of the Sacred Relics," and the so ciety, headed by the band, playing the dirge specially written for the occasion, entitled, "He has gone to his long, long home, un soaked by water," returned to the hut where the ashes were deposited iu the vault. Then the society dispersed. A jrood bunion remedy is to use pul verized saltpetre and sweet oil ; obtain at the drujrjrists nve or six 'cents' worth of saltpetre, put into a bottle with sufficient olive oil to nearly disslove it ; shake up well, ami rub the inflamed parts night and morning, and more if painful. This is a well-tried remedy " ' . Two things in this world that should not be trifled with a wotucn & opinion and the businc3 eud of a wasp. ' '" Advertising a Lost Dog. Mr. Kcicshapernutn : If you vill told die pccblcs - dat I haf my tog, Snyder. loosed, una everypody vot has dot tog vill prought him pack to Meinherr Kobse's der fat Post O facers, I vill' pays you dirtecn cents by Express office orter, mit der briv iiich to examine him pefore you got it to sec if it vas may be coundcrfeets. If dot vas so, here is der tog inscription of him- sclv : His name vas Snyder, mit only vone eye, on accoundt of a olt pladk cat vot pelongs to a servant Irish girl mit red-headed hair. Und also he haf only dree legs, by accoundt of a mocolotif-cngines mitoud any pull- ketcher. He vas a pov to;r vas Snyder, so. He vas bald-headod all ofcr himselv, gonse- quense of red-hot vater, on accoundt of fighting mit a olt raaidt s cat. On vone end of himselv vas situatct his head und his tail it vas py der oder endtof him. He only carries apout vone half of his tail mit him at vonce, on accoundt of a circular saw-miils. He looks a good deal more olter as he vas alaeady, but he aiu't quiet so olt as uudil der . Birthington's Washday vas. Der vay vot you can know him vas, if you calls him "Shack" he von't said no- dings, bud.vcn auypody named him Snyder he says "row-wow I und in der meandime vagging half of his dail dot oder half vas cut off und he don't vag him some more al- recd'. Also, if you d'row some sdones on dop of him, he vill run and holler "Ki-ji I ki-yi I" Dot vas . der vay you could alvays told my tog. He looks like a cross petween a pull-fonnt- landt und a cat-mit-nine-dails but he ain't. He got not efen vone whole dail, uud he ain't cross not a pit much. I haf been eferyvhercs looking fot dot tog. Yhcn I vas in Canada last veek, a pig lofer-mans comes ub to me, und said he : "Don t you know I know you ?' "No, you don't. Do I know you ? If I know you, told me vonce who I vas ?' 'You vas- Mr. Ross," says he, "und -ou vas looking for your leedle poy Sharley." "No, sir ; I vas Von Boyle," says I, "uud I vas looking for my leedle Snyder." Anoder vay dot you could told if it vas Snyder is dot he vas almost, a dwin. He vould pe half a pair of dwius dot dime, only dexe vas dree of dem a pair of dwins uud a half. Also he haf got scars on dob of him, out side all der vhile, vhere he haf scratched himselv mit a Thomas cat bud dot Thomas cat nefer recover himselv any more already. You could also told Snyder on accoundt of his vonderful inshtinct. He can out-in-shtinct any tog vot you nefer saw in my life. Vor if you bat him on der dop of bis head mit 'our hant, he knows right avay you like him, but vhen you bats him on der head mit a bavement shotues or der shtick of a proom, den he vill suspect already vot you cared not fery much apout him all ter vhile. Dot vas my tog Snyder. Wiluelm Von Boyle. SHE KNEW THE BEST. "You see that hoss, don't you Tr cald out a woman about forty years of age, as she drove up to a Grand River avenue blacksmith shop yesterday. The smithcame out and said that his sight was good. "I want a shoe on that right hind foot right at once," she continued, and she jumped down and had the horse almost out of the wagon before the smith reached the curbstone. She led tho beast into the shop, sat down on the bench and prepared to take a smoke, and as the blacksmith took down a shoe she observed : "No fooling, now. I want that shoe to stick to that foot for a whole year. You can't impose on me 'cause I'm a woman." After the hoof had been prepared the horse suddonly , became restive, dancing around and bothering the blacksmith so that he could not proceed. "You don't seem to have had any ex perience with horses," remarked the wo man, as she rose up and laid her pipe aside. "I know this beast from Dan'l to Berthcsda, and you jist git back a little." The smith retreated a few feet and the woman caught the horse by the' gave him a two hundred pound kick in the ribs and yelled : "Whoa! Charles Henry git around there stand over and take that and this and some more ! " Nov? come up and toe the mark ! Charles Henry kk-ked the anvil off the block as she kicked his ribs, but she kicked the hardest, and when the blacksmith stuck his head into the shop, the horse was half way over a bench, but as quiet as a lamb. "Now proceed," said the woman, as she picked up her pipe.- "When a hoss goes to fooliu' around me and aching for a row, he's laying up a sorrow for his gray hairs." "DATS HIM." A rather elderly darkey was inquiring of a policeman if he kuew anything of his son Pete. The policeman replied that there was a young darkey iu the lock up, who had a mouth like a stable door, and a piece bitten out of one of his ears, that was locked up for breaking up a prayer meeting with an axe handle. ''Dat's him," exclaimed the overjoyed pa rent ; "he told me as how he was gwine to muse hisself." A clergyman in Northern Indiana ascend ed the pulpit the other Sunday aud said : "No- man can serve the Lord while he has tlio jumping .tpojhache. ,1 therefore dis rciss the congregutionv" . ;. v1 -r : t . A WONDERFUL ilSH. The Scientific American gives the follow ing account of a peculiar species of fish, heretofore comparatively unknown to na turalists : "Mr. Giilett, of Martin, Oillett &, Co., of Baltimore, Md., has just returned from Japan, bringing with him a beaatiful and rare fish, n?ver before seen in this country, and which he has kindly loaned to the New York Aquarium. The peculiar features are several brilliant colors and three separate and distinct tails, all of which the Japanese claim are the result of many aud successful years of the most careful breeding. A number of attempts have been made to introduce this fish into American waters, but this is the only instance of suc cess. A tank, suspended like a compass, to avoid the ships motion, was especially constructed, and then, notwithstanding the greatest care, attention, and constant watch ing, out of eighty-eight only seven survived the journey. The remaining six that 5lr. Giilett has have spawned, resulting in fifty young fry, which exhibit all the peculiar ties of the originals. It is Mr. Gillett's in tention, as soon as he has a sufficient stock, to give some of them to persons who will endeavor to raise them. The fish loaned to the aquarium is a magnificent specimen, and exhibits all the several beautiful colors in perfection." CORN AND HOGS. From carefully conducted experiments by different persons, it has been ascertained that one bushel of corn will make a little more than ten pounds of pork gross. Tak ing the result as a basi, tin? fallowing de duction arc made which all cur farmers would do well to lay by fjt a convenient reference, that : When corn sella at l2 cents per bushel pork costs If cent per pound. When corn costs 17 cents per bushel, pork costs 2 cents per pound. - When com costs 25 cents per bushel pork costs 3 cents per pound. When corn costs 3l cents per bushel, pork costs 4 cents per pound. Wheii corn costs 50 cents per bushel, pork costs 5 cents per pound. The following statements show what the farmer realizes on his corn when sold in the terms of pork : When pork sells at 3 cents per pound, it brings 25 cents per bushel in corn. When pork suite at 4 crrt-s per pound, it brings 32 cents' per bushel in corn. When pork sells at 5 ceuts per pound, it costs 40 cents per bushel in corn. " - V So long as a man drinks every minute, he has but little opportunity for sober se cond thoughts. A Newark policeman had a pair of boot3 half soled last full with a boarding house beefsteak and he hasn't had we't feet all winter. 'Ola, go down on your hands and knees a minute, please." "What on earth shall I do that for pet?" "Cause I want to draw an elephant." There is a lady in New York who is such a stickler for polite formality that when she can't attend church she sends her card to the clergyman A shrewd Yankee said he didn't believe there was any downright cure for laziness in a uran.- "But," he added, "I've known a second wife to hurry it some." A little five-year-old of Dorchester some what surprised his mother, a few days since, with the remark : "God is every where ; he is all over me. and when von spank me yeu spank God." A prudent man adrrsed his drunken ser vant to put by his money for a rainy day. In a few weeks his master asked how much of his wages he had saved. "Faith, none at all," he said, "it rained yesterday aud it all went." "What do you charge a quart for your milk?" asked a woman of a milkman the other morning. "Six cents," was the rer3;f "Ain't you got any for five cents ?" "No," said the milkman, "but I cau make you some." Their little girl gets confused. After being tenderly tucked up in her crib, mam ma said : "Now your prayers, Janet." The response came froa the little one, half asleep : "Now I lay me down to sleep, when the wiud blows the cradle will rock. Amen." A quaint minister once said, "Now, brethren, I propose to throw this hymn book at the man who used profane lan guage yesterday." He made the necessary gesture, as though he would hurl the book, and, curiously enough, every man iu tho congregation ducked his head. "Pa, what does it mean to be tried by a jury of one's peers ?" "It means my son, that a man Ls to be tried by a jury com posed of men who are his equals on au equality with him, so they will Lave no prejudice agaiust him." "Then, pa, I guess you'd have to be tried by a jury of bald-headed men !" At the breakfast-table of a certain board ing house, the landlady gave Mr. Jones a severe look, and said : Mr. Jones, I under stand you have beeu circulating injurious report about my house." "How madam ?" "1 understand that you said you had used better butter than I have here to greaso cart-wheels with." "I did so, madam, but not to injure your house. I have used better butter, madam, to grease cart-wheel but I wouldn't do it asiain. I'd siJ! t. tA you'.", She accepted the apobgy. "