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1 1- 1 H J J, 1 liVJUUJJU.BBWI BtlU -LU.J , Deuotcfr to politics, Citcraturc, Agriculture, Science, illoralitu, anil eucral ihitclliaauc. VOL. 34. wa. in Pnblishcil by Theodore Schocli. -r. (nf,--Tvro dollar n riar in advaneo and if not h-f.irs th "f tnc 7C3r tTVO dollars and fifty will heehawl. . , ce" N-,t ,(vier dWeontinued until nil arrearages are ? lecett at the option of the Editor. P a j- VivertNements of one square of feiedit linos) or oMfl or thr.s insertions 51 ."'. Each additional in- ,f rtion. '."iO cents. Ionizer ones in proportion. jOS PBSXTISG OF AI.I. KINKS, rrMutJ iu the hi-hest style of the Art, and on the nmst reasouahUi term. 1) U. NATHANIEL C. MILLER, Physician and Surgeon. 03;s and residence: Comer Main and Pocono Street, SxnocDSBCRO, Pa., Office hours from 7 to S a. m., 1 to 2 and 7 to 3 p. Oct. 25, 1376-tf. J. Ol'Oni IIJM -" ........... ............ ;nJ dvjr we-.i of Hicisite Quaker Church. Oihee hour s to n a. i i l- " " l" i " M iy -', lSTi-tf. D:i. s. ?i i s k it, STROUDSBURO, Pa. Oft.. f-.r-nrly occupied y Ir. Sip. JVsidener with J i".'. M'il -r. on- d or b.-lj'v th' j'j.rrrioiii.ni Oilico. hour. 7 t. :t, VI to -i and l t.j 9. M y 1 1 , 1 ST.'.. t r. Surge oa LJeriiJs. OS --: iu .T.s. Ivli'i;.'r"s new huii3;nj, ln-irly opposite tli.: Sir iu !!n r;; llauk. Oas aJiuiiilerid tor extsetiiit: (rr.,jiiurf, I'a. ' fJan.C'TC-tf. panic. ix, saaEox and ArcauniEiR. rj-2r in 2iiu 1 TToi.i's bt buildin?. nearly op-p-in p t u,'j;o. Kfsid:jcc on Sar-h .stroi-t, ri vrf Frsn '-cli n. I) One d.nr aSive tlio "Strondsbiirg IIoiiFe,' flirou Ish'irj:. Pa. V )!lirti'i5s prornptlv made. (Holier 1S74. ?zl Estate an'i Tivsarance Agent and CONVEYANCER. T'.tlei s'.irrhzi nnd Covvrynnring in all its bru!ics car rjj.il if and promptly attended to. Azk.ioxlc-igm-znis taken for other States. OS.'i, Kitler's P.rick Hailding, near t'aeR.R. Dep-Jt, E VST STK0UD3BUEG, PA. P. O. B-ix 23. Eeptftn j-.t 2 ISTo. tf. WILLIAM s7rSE3, Sjrvsyor, Conveyancer and Esal Estate Acrent. Itrzi3. Timber Lands and Town Lots FOR SALE. 0e m?nr!v opposite American Hones ni '21 (1 or b?lv the Corner Store. March lS73-lf. DR. J. LA N T Z, SURGEON & MECHANICAL DENTIST. lir!! ha his o!!i .n Main str.-ct, in th sft-orid story f l'r. S. Walton's brick liuildin?, ni-aily opposite the !r-urir!f Hon ;. and he flait-r.i'hiiiv; If t hat hy rijZh totn years (.-onstant prai.-tiiv an t ha most eariut and :irful attention to :il! tsiattcrs P'-rtainii'? to his pro Wop. ri.at h - is fnliy aliie to p'-rf.rin ail o'M'rations 3n tlie i( utal line in iuc ino-t careful and skillful man ner. tp?iui attention siven to savins the Natural Teeth ; s'si. tr ti? inter!':. n of Artificial Teeth on flullrr, Geld, silver, or Conticuous limns, and perfect fit iu all injured. M et D'r.-ins Vnaw th: ereat folly and danT of -n-tnitin,j I heir work.to the iiiexpe rieii"ed, or to those li v j n; at t distaitec. ' April !'!, 1ST4. tf. Opposition to Humbuggery ! Tkf unlersined b?rehy announces that he has ro ixu'd luisines at the old .stand, next door to Knsti-r's H-jthin Store, Main stre.-t, Si rondsjurr. Pa., a!d is fuly prepared to accommodate all iu w aul of BOOTS and SHOES, wade in the latest style and of good material. Kepair pro:nrth' attcntcd to. Giv me a rail. i''c.9, lsTo-iy.j c. li;wis WATERS. PAPER HAKCiEIi, GLAZIER AND PAINTER, MONKOE STREET, Nearly opposite Kautz's Blacksmith Shop, Strocdsduko, Pa. The undersigned would reppecifully in form thecitizens of Strondsburg and vicinity that he is now fully prepared to do all kimits of Paper Hanging;. Glazing and Painting. Promptly and at short notice, and that he keep constontly on hand afinet-tock ol Paper Hangings of all descriptions and at low prices. The palronage ofthe puhli ' earnestly solicted. May 16, 1872. Dwelling House for Sale. A very desirable two .tory Dwollinsr House, contain jK evn rooii'w, one of which i-s mi table l -jf x rr a More i'.oom, si'iiaic ou .iiaiu m- i, in the lioroutch of StromNburir. The II jibSfil building in nearly new, ami very part S5L.fj, of it iu cuod condition. I,-or terms Ac, Cl" at this office. f Dec. !, 1375-tf JOB PRINTING, of all kinds neatly ex ecuted at this office. MflSOKl TIBIj PREPARE FOR DEATH. THE CHEAT DANCER TO WHICH WE ARE EXTOSED THE SUN IN FLAMES OU SOL TO IJLAZE UP AND SCORCH THE INIIA1UTANTS OP THIS WORLD TO A CINDER THIS TERIJII'.LE CATASROPHE TO TAKE PLACE AT ANY MINUTE. Mr. Richard A. Proctor writes to the London Echo as follows: "We have with in the last lortnUiht had new evidence in the star depths of the danger to which our own sun, and we along with it, would setra to be exposed. There arc some astronomical subjects of inquiry which, though they relate to bodies inconcervably remote, con cern us inhabitants of earth very nearly. It is, for instance, a question of considera ble interest to us whether the evidence we have about the sun suggests or not the probability that tlte orb the fire, light, and life of our system is gradually parting with its energies, in such sort that our descendants will be less thoroughly warmed and lighted than we arc ourselves. It is a question of interest again whether there is any truth in such a theory as was once thrown out (to the amazement of astrono mers be it remarked) by Sir Y. Thomson, that the fragments of destroyed planets might be the vehicles by which the seeds of life are carried to new worlds, and that mr earth, visited in remote ages by such fragments was thus supplied with the germs of that life which is now so abundant on her surface, so she, in her turn undergoing de.-tructii'u will be sent in fragments through space, scattering about the germs of life for the benefit of other words as yet unpeopled. Another question of very great interest was that started by Sir Isaac New town, iii tiie well-known suggestion that should a comet fall upon the sun there would be a tremendous outburst of solar heat, whereby this earth and all the other worlds which circle round the sun could be destroyed, or, i.t least, all life caused to perish from their surface. T his idea h;;S not, indeed, of late received much favor, bet Jiuse astronomers, noting the small efietts produced by comets upon even the interior members of the solar system, such as the moons of Jupiter, have come to regard comets as bodies of very little weight, whose material, therefore, failing upon the sun, could produce but insignificant fires. More over, we have learned to consider the probability ofthe downfall of a comet upon the stin as exceedingly saut'l. Vt'e know that a;i!oi;g those whose paths have been properij determined during the pat few years, only two have made a very near ap proach to the sun though by a strange coincidence, one of these was the first ever wealth with on the Newtonian principles viz., Newton's own comet of the year 1SGU. That one approached the sun within less than the sixth of its diameter, and its very inucleus mast have swept the summits of the red fi.imr-s which we now know to ex ist ail round the sun we see. The other was the comet of IS 13, which, on the 'J7th of February of that year, was within (10, f '00 miles ofthe sun's surface ; so that the bulk of its coma or hair must have swept over the sun, and the outermost parts of its nucleus must not only have met the solar flames, but even have reached the low lying bed of flame seen during solar eclipses, and called the sierra. Still, these two comets only, among all these of the last two hundred years, have made a very near ap proach to the sun, and, as no mischief has followed, astronomers are encouraged to the belief that whatevery danger we may have to fear from changes in our sun s condition, comets arc scarcely to be regarded as the probable cause of such danger. But the news just received from the star depths concerns us more nearly. It tells us of a sun. doubtless in general respects like our own, which has met with some great catastrophe, whose cause we cannot at present determine, but whose real nature is unmistakable. Our sun is one among hundreds of millions, each of which is probaaly, like it, the centre of a scheme of circling worlds. Each sun is rushing along through space with its train of worlds, each bearing-; perhaps, like our earth, its living freight, or, i"ore probably, each, at some timeor other of its existence, becom ing habitable for a longer or shorter period. Thus the suns may be comparted to engines, each drawing along its well-freighted train. Accidents among these celestial engines seem fortunately to be rare. A few among the suns appear suddenly, (that is in the course of a hundred years, which in celestird chrouometry amounts to a mere instant,) to have lost a large part of their energy, as though the supply of fuel had somehow run short. Mishaps of that kind have not attracted much attention, though manifestly it would be a serious matter of our own suu were suddenly to loose three-fourths of its heat, and as happened with the middle star of the Plow, or ninety-nine hundredths, as has happened with the once blazing, but now scarcely visible, orb called Pta, in the keel of the star-ship Argo. But when we hear of an accident of the contrary kind a suu suddenly blazing out with more than a hundred times its usual splendor ; a celestial engine whose energies have been overwrought, so that a sudden expansion has taken place, and the fires, meant to work steadily for the train, have blazed forth to its destruction we are im pressed with the thought that this may possibly one day happen with our sun. The circumstances are very curious, and though they do not show clearly whether we are or are not expossed to the same kind of danger which has overtaken the worlds circling round those remote suns, they are sufficiently suggestive. On Nov. 2Jth, quite early iu tie even STftOUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA., JANUARY .,JL.'!. ,.l.J ing, Professor Schmidt, the well-known director -of the Athens Observatory, ob served a star of the first magnitude in a part of the constellation of the Swan, where no such star should be. At mid night the new star's light was seen to be of u remarkably yellow color. The news was, of course, spread about among the chiefs of the principal observatories, and as soon as clear weather permitted, the new comet was submitted to the searching scrutiny of the spectroscope. Unfortun ately, it had already dwindled down to the fifth magnitude hy Dee. id, when first it was thus examined, and its light had be come greenish, almost blue. It was not until Dee. 5th, that really satisfactory observations were made. Then M. Cornu obtained the following very curious results : The light of the stars showed the usual rainbow-tinted streak crossed by dark lines, which forms the spectrum of a star or sun, but on that rainbow-tinted streak, as on a d.irk background, there was seen the bright ligl ts of hydrogen, a bright line belonging to magnesium (in the state of glowing vapor), and two other bright lines, one of which seemed to be identical with a bright line shown by our sun's corona during a total eclipse. Now, a point to which I would call special attention is, that all the elements of the catastrophe, if one may so speak, which has befallen the remote sun in the Swan exist in our own sun. At times of marked disturbances parts of our sun's surface show the lines of hydrogen bright instead of dark, which means that the flames of hydrogen over those parts of the sun are hotter than the glowing surface of the sun there. V'e h ive all heard, again, how Tadchini and Secelii, iu Italy, attributed some excep tionally hot weather wu had a few years ago to outbursts of glowing magnesium. And, lastly, our sun is certainly well sup plied with that clement, whatever it is, which gives the bright line of his corona during eclipses, for we now know that the whole, ofthe streaked and radiated corona occupying a region twenty times greater than the globe of the sun (which itself exceeds our earth 1,250,000 times in volume) belongs to the sun. Again, though the suu has shone steadily for thousands of years, "et so far as can be judged, tli 3 stars which, like the one in the Swan, have burst out suddenly blossom ing into flames of hydrogen, within which the star's heart-core glows with many hun dred times its former heat, have also been for ages shining steadily amid the star depths. knuw that the one which blazed out ten years ago iu the Northern crown was one of Argclander's list, a star of the tenth magnitude, and that, after glowing with S00 times its former bright ness for a few days, it has resumed that feebler lustre. We have every reason that analogy can furnish for believing that the new star, which was not in Argclander's list simply escaped record by him on ac count of its fuiutntss. It is now fast losing its suddenly-acquired lustre, and is already invisible to the naked eye. It appears, therefore, that there is nothing in the long continued steadfastness of our suu as a source of light to assure us that he, too, may not suddenly blaze forth with many hundred times his usual lustre, (the con flagration being originated, perchance, by some comet unfortunately too directly to wards hiru). Though he would probably cool down again to his present condition in a few weeks, no terreslial observers would be alive, at any rate, to note the . fact, though the whole series of events might afford subject of interesting specu lation to to the inhabitants of worlds cir cling around Sirius of Arcturus. Fortun ately, we ma' legitimately reason that the risk is small, seeing that among the mil lions of suns which surround ours, within easy telescope distance, such catastrophes occur only ten or twelve times per century." An Army of Water Rats. Dr. Van Per Ilork, the German travler to the Artie, says : On one occasion we had a curious adventure. While crossing a lacustrine part of the river called Kjoalme juare, in the early part of the knight we were suddenly surrounded by swarms of lemming (M yodestorqustus), an animal like the mountain rat. They swarmed around the boat and attempted to clamber into it, s that it was witlrthe greatest difficulty we could keep the fierce little creatures from boarding us by beating about with the oars, at which they would set up sharp, shrill screams similar to those ofthe muskrat. After some time we succeeded in passing them. These little animals come unexpec tedly down from the mountains uo one knowing exactly whence and appear in millions, swarming over the whole country, eating up almost everything that comes in their way. Neither river nor lake seems to deter them, both of which they swim with ease, usually keeping in their destruc tive path until reaching the open sea, which they vainly endeavor to cross, never swerv ing from the direction once taken until they sink exhausted beneath the waves. Thus perish countless numbers. They commit great ravages, and are as dreaded in the North as the locusts are in Egypt. Years, however, elapse between their reap pearance, or until they suddenly descend from their rocky retreats. The Lapps tell us that they rain from the sky, many of them stating that they have actually seen them fall. To know a man, observe how he wins his object rather than how he looses it; for when we fail, our pride supports ; when we euecced it destroys us. COUNTERFEIT COINS. THE COMPOSITION OK THE LATEST SPUR IOUS SILVER MONEY SPECIMENS OF I ERASED GOLD TIECES AT THE SUR TREASURY. The N. Y. limes of the 13th iust., con tains the following : A great many complaints have been heard recently of the inconvenient and un comfortable abundance of counterfeit silver coins in circulation. Pining-saloon keep ers, car conductors, the corner grocery man, and even the usually careless bar-keeper, have all become suspicions, and will not even accept without scrutiny the fairest and most genuine-looking pieces of silver To ring a coin does not appear to be a sufficient test to these careful worthies, for they have found out that dociet has been so ingenious that the true ring has been obtained in some of the basest counterfeits. All silver coins are eyed "with care," and the conduc tor refuses to "punch in the presence of the passenger" until he is convinced beyond a doubt that the quarter or half dollar he presents is really a good thing to make change for. Inquiry was made yesterday at the Sub-Treasury in this city as to the quality and quantity of counterfeits known to be in circulation. Mr. J. F. Tandv, chief coin detector, who has held his posi tion for many years, and is now one ofthe most competent judges of coiu in the coun try, was referred to for information. Mr. laudv saws that there are a great inanv spurious coins in actual circulation, the in genuity of counterfeiters who formerly studied to produce imitations of paper cur rency having evidently been turned to the manufacture of mental tokens. A great many good coins have been mistaken for bad ones owing to the imperfect work done at some of the mints in the haste to supply the demand made when the paper currency was withdrawn. Many coins are found with the edges between the milled rim and the outer ring on the face beveled off as if by machinery. This appearance is doubt less caused in many instances by a careful paring of the coin for the small amount of silver obtained, but the quality ofthe silver is not of suflicient fineness to make such a practice a very lucrative one. The coun terfeiters have devoted themselves almost exclusively to the production of imitations of half-dollars and quarter-dollars. No false dimes that were at all likely to deceive have vet been seen. Several specimens of the half-dollars found at the Sub-Treasury were shown. In appearance they were very good, the impression being considered excellent by Mr. Tandy. Iu weight they were light, when compared with genuine coins. Submitted to the test ofthe scale, the genuine coin weighed 102.0 grains; the counterfeit, 142 grains. The test of the crucible showed the spurious coin to be composed of antimony, lead, and zinc, which really makes a fine imitation of a well-made silver coin. Most of the counterfeit coins are dated back, the gleam of new silver being very difficult to imitate. Even with experts the difficulty of detecting these light coins among piles of silver of thousands of dollars is acknowledged to be very greut. The counterfeits are evidently not all made by the same persons, as they are by no means of uniform excellence of workmanship. A number of debased gold coins were shown that had recently been detected. A $20 piece, with an exterior fair to look .upon. and apparently as "good as gold," was pro nounced a vexatious fraud, worth but 60. It had been carefully split, hollowed out, and filled with plantinum. When submit ted to the scale test it weighed all that the law demanded. Its spuriousness had been detected by the eye of an experienced hand ler of coin, and its "true inwardnesss" ex posed by a slight chipping of the edges, where the parts had been pressed together. A quarter-eagle that had come from the Bank of England had been served in the same way, and when broken it was found to be packed with charges of plantinum deftly fitted to the cavity made by the abstruction of the gold, its edges carefully .remilled, and it had undoubtedly changed repeatedly, before its wickedness had been detected. A California counterfeiter has recently invented a new way for mining gold that may have proved more profitable than hunting for nuggets in the mountain streams, although it can hardly be as com fortable a means of securing a livelihood. From San Francisco was shown a $20 piece, bent and broken, from which projec ted the ends of silver cojiper wires. A hole had been made in the middle edge of the coin, and from this central opening branch ed several galleries, reaching almost across the inside of the coin. The gold had been abstracted, and its place filled up by copper wire. The weight of the coin was reduced, and by the use of scales this defect could have been detected at once. But apparent ly the coin was good, and the only ready eye of an expert could catch the marks of tampering on the edge, or understand the measure ofthe raised lines on the surface, where the drill had approached too near the edge and the wire had crowded the gold when it was driven into the aperture. The paternal author of an heiress was approached by a youth who requested a few moments' conversation iu private, and be gan : "I was requested to see you, sir, by your lovely daughter. Our attachment " "Young man," interrupted the parent, briskly, "I don't -know what that girl of mine is about. Your are the fourth gntle man who has approached me this moining on the subject. I have given my consent to the ot.iers, bless you." and l give 1 TT it to you ; God 25, 1877. THE NEW REPORTER. lie was a bright looking young man, with unexecptionably good clothes, and a bright eager way with him that inclined the chief to take him in and let him see what he could do. Ho felt, the young man said, that he was born to be a reportor, like Horace Grccle- and Mr. Bennett. He knew he had it in him, and all that he want ed was the field, and he would make his own opportunities. He worked on the Ilnirk-Eye one day, and we do not know what has become of him after that, but we arc sorry he is gone. There was so much life and sunlight about the office during his brief stay. He hadn't been on the street an hour before he came rushing back into the office, radiant with enthusiasm and a whole hat full of fights iu his note book. Then he dashed out and went around the block, and came tearing up the back stairs li lc a houst a-nre with a first-class, ilt- edged, lavender scented scandal cass. lie started off to dinner, but came dashing back to write up a runaway, an apopleptie lit, a small robbery, and a street ear colli sion he had encountered on the way. We never saw such a man to gather up news, lie could hardly find time to eat his meals, on account of the constant rush of items. And when he got to writing them up in the evening, ho had to lock the door to keep new cues said : from rushing in on him. We "The office has got a treasure. That man is worth a million dollars a week." And the rest of the boy's stood around with their meagre note books, complaining that the town was awful dry, and fairly bursting with envy. We had to run a supplement to get ail the young fellow's city news in. The next morning the chief had a very impressive interview with the new reporter. The business office was filled with a mis cellaneous crowd of citizens, and two or three policemen, and a few ladies. The boys leaned up against the door of the private office to hear how much salary the new man was going to iret, and if lie would accept an interest in the paper. They heard the chief say : "And this long item about Jerome C. Plastonburg. That is a paid notice, as you were told : it is worth $05, and you have spelled his name the vital part of the no tice wrong every time. Once you have called him James L. Longherty, one Jabez O'Phuiarity, and in all other places Jacob 1). Piathcrsburg. What on earth possess ed you to make such absurd and injurious blunders as that ?"' "Well, good land !" exclaimed the young man, "how was I to know how he spelled his mime ? lie's a stranger to mo. Be sides, I did my best to get it right. I look ed all through Zell,s Encyclopaedia and in Webster's Dictionary, and couldn't find any such name anywhere. How's any man going to get along without mistakes if the office library hasn't got a reliable book of referuce in it ?'' There was a pause, and then the resumed : "And here is this item about Rev chief Mr. Miss Throonledvke, whose marriage to Minerva Possonby you notice very neatly, and then append the outrageous statement that the reverend gentleman has a wife and nine children in Indiana, and it is thought he has one or two more somewhere in Wis consin. Why " "Well, that's so" broke in the new man ; "I tell you hi? has ; a man on a train told me so down at the Union depot yesterday. I got that all straight. That's true as gospel." "Who was the man ?" "I don't know ; he was a stranger to me, and it looked too fresh to ask his name." "How did he know Mr. Throop'cdyke ?" "He didn't know him ; he just told me about a preacher he knew that had a wife and nine children in Indiana, and I asked him to describe him, and his description hit old Throopledyke to a T. O, it's him, I know." "Then,' continued the chief, after a very painful pause, during which the boys held their breath, "here is an item stating that Christopher K. Hoflan. a Bogus Hollow sneak thief, knocked a child down near the railroad crossing and stole a tin bucket, ten cents and a milk ticket from her. This is atrocious. It is terrible." "Why, asked the new man, 'wasn t that lloflan." "No," said the chief, with some asperity "Mr. lloflan is President of the Young Men's Christian Association, and a citizen of the highest repute. Now where did you get that item ?" "Well, the item is all right, but I wasn't sure, of the name; but 1 told a hackman about it, and asked him if he knew who the first man was, and he said he guessed it must be old Pmflan, and I found the full name in the Directory." The boys could hear the chief sigh clear through the door. "Then," he continued, "what made you say that old Mrs. Malavers committed sui cide while in a state of despondency, bro't on by excessive use of intoxicating liquor ?" "Well, didn't she?" "Didn't she ? She is alive and down in the counting room now, and is President of the Women's Temperance League." "Well, well, well," said 'the new man in a tone of amazement. "I must have got that mixed up with some other item." "And then look here," continued the chief, "you take occasion to say, in an en tirely uncalled-for manner, that Hon. George J. Barnwell owes a grocery bid of r?7 15:r. Sinrrbv's. that has been run- rdn-T nnarlv two years; and that he blews o " NO. his nose with his fingers, and picks his teeth with his-fbrk, and only changes his socks once a week. Now "Well, by George," .shouted the new man "that's the truth. Now, I'm willing to own up whei'r I'm wrong, but, by gun, you ca;:"t corner me on that iten. That's the solemn truth, and I got it nil straight. A girl that worked in his family four years told me all about it, and I could have put in lots more, ever so much worse than that if I'd had room. He "Do you know," said the chief, that lion. George J. Barnwell owns more of this town than he can sec, and is a bank director, and president Of heaven knows ho?? many business associations, a pillar of the church, and a prop of society? Don't you know that you ain't expected to pub lish every bit of gossip yotr hear about people i "Ain't !" echoed the young man ; "what's the paper for then ? What of it anyhow ? Is old Barnwell mad about it ? Did anybodv tell him of it?" The chief made no reply, and the boys scattered to their wofk. A casual watch was kept on the door of the private office, and late in the afternoon it opened, and the chief came out. He was alone. There was dyspeptic look about his eyes, like a man who had eaten too much ; and nobody ever saw the new reporter or heard any thing of him again. But we often miss hint and when the town is quiet and the after noons are long, and there are no election news to stir the fever of our blood, we wish that he would come back and shake up tho town once more. Burlington Haickeyc: Spoiled His Piety. Horace Greeley used to affirm that news paper men were the most patient people, as a class, on earth ; and he was not far from right, though there are times when patience ceases fo be a virtue witii the most endur ing. Nearly everybody in Michigan knows Burr, who used to start a newspaper about once a month the year round, generally bringing them out in Grand Rapids, but some times making a flying trip to other points. Burr could stand to be told that he lied about circulation, was on the fence as a politician, and that lie didn't, know any thing about publishing a paper ; and when men threatened to sue or thrash him, he only smild a sad smile and wished that mankind wouldn't get encited. During a religious revival in Grand Rapids, Burr was converted, and it frequently happerid that religious people called at his office to talk with him. One day a minister came in, and, after talking a while, he proposed prayer. He was in the act of kneeling, when his foot struck one of the outside form, which was leaning against a leg of the stone, ready to be lifted up, and over it went, making half a bushel of pi. Burr looked at the ruin wrought, thought ofthe two weeks of overwork, and commenced taking off his coat, saying: "I'm trying to be a Christian, and set a good example, but rac my buttons if I can t lick you in just two minutes !" The clergyman backed down stairs in no time, dodging the lye brush on the way, and Burr backslid at once, and sent down for a pint of stimulant. The Forty Thieves. An inebriated Jersey man in New York led by flaming posters advertising the play of "The Forty Thieves" at Niblo's, went to the box office and called for a ticket at the same time throwing down a $5 green back. On receiving in return $3 and a. ticket (he had expected to pay about fifty tents), the astonished countryman, looking first at the money arxl then at the ticket, exclaimed : "II h how much d'yer ask to (hie) sec these Forty Thieves?" The ticket seller informed him that the price was $2. " Well'said the Jersey man, thowing back the ticket, and looking sharply at the offi cial, "you may k k keep ycr ticket I don't care about seeing tire other thirty nine. Poor Old Grimes. At last we have an irrefragable testi money from Ogdensburg that old Grimes' pulse lias finally ceased to beat. A few mornings since, when tho ther mometer was nearly played out, a ragged little beggar stopped' at Judge J's, and plaintively suggested vfcti.aLr. As the be nevolent lady of tho house was emptying a. few into his basket, she asked : "What is your name, my son ?" "My name is Grimes." . "Is your father living?" "Yes, marm." "I thought Old Grimes was dead long' ago "That was my grandpa." And the youngster waddled off, think ing what a good soul the lady was. A party met at a public table, and the' conversation turned on the subject of trans migration. Mr. K. was a firm believer in the doctrine, end expatiated largely on its points. He was interrupted by a gentle man with, "K., what do you suppose your self to have been before you were K ?" "1 do not know," replied K ; "I might have been a pig, for aught I know." "Well," rejoined his friend, "yon have not altered much only get upon your hind legs." ..2:v Two valuable trotting horses collided during a trotting carnival at Poughkeepsie, N. Y., on Saturday last, and both were killed by sleigh shafts piercing their breasts. Loss $2",500.