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I o- 1 rf ovist Vputton. lit rVHU-iili:i EVEUY TUKSDAY, BY v;. a. DUIIII. D.Tlc la Knox's DuilJlngi Eln Street. Itatcs cf Advertlsiarr. One R icnrn '1 Inch, one In " r I on . fl (:V "l; One tup "!! f'lli- S; t;:'ri yiur 1 Soi l.i o t 'i;.' ; H.iT t mo i ' !. . r.i o i Mo ev Forest Republican. J 1 TERMS, $2.00 A YEAR. No Subscription received for n sltortor period tiiin tiirco ui'iiilln. Correspondence, snlicitud from nil parts of the t!otnitt-y. No nciVico will ha tukon of miiioii yn i m communications. J.l n i iiioi mi l Dentil noticed Inserted gratis. DUSIHESS DiriuCTORY. TlONESTALODGE.NO. 477, I. O. Or. T. II f .eta every Vedtiosday evening, lit 8 III o'clock. W. U. DUNN; W. C. T. M. ,V. TATE, W. H. . WKWTOX Minn, MII.K4 W, TATK. PETTIS A TATE, ATT0RNEY3 AT LAW, jtb S!rtt, ' TI0SKSTA,'PA. Isaac Ash, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Oil City, Pa. Will practice In tho varloua Courts of Forest County. AH business entrusted to .ail csro will receive prompt aitcuticu. ill ly W. E. Lathy, TTORNEY AT (,AV AND SOLTCT V TOIt IN HANKKTPTCY, Tionesta, Forest Co., Pa., will practico In Clarion, VonimKo nml Warren Count lea. Olllce on F.liii street, two doors abovo I .nwreiice'a grocery .tore, tf. V. W. Mason, TTORNEY AT LAW. Office on F.lm Street, above Walnut, Tionesta, Pa. V. Giimian, AT LAW, Franklin, Ve Vh. tf. A TTORNEY t V uuito Co., N. B, Smiley, ATIOttNEY aT LAV, Petroleum Con tra, 1'a. Will practice iu the several Courts of Forest County. S5-ly Holmes House, nMONF.STA, PA., opposite tho Depot. Jl C. 1. Mahlo, I'roiu iotor. Hood Sta liiitiK connected with the house, tf. Jos. Y. Saul, IJRACTICAL Harness Maker and Pad illtr. Three doora nonli of Holmes Hours, Tionesta, Fa. All work is war ranted, tf. Syracuse House, TIDIOUTF, Pa., J. D Maokk, Prople tom. Tho house has been thoroughly refitted and innw In the tirst-olas order, with the beat of accommodations. Any iforination eoncorninir nil Territory ut this poiul will be ehoerfullv furnished. -ly J. A D. m.ujee, Exchange. Hotel, IOWKR TIDIOUTE, Pa., D. S. Rami J Ohm. A Son I'rop'a. This house hitvinn been r.titod is now the moat desirable stop ping place In Tidioute. A good llillinrd Koo, n attache 1. 4-ly National Hotel, TRVINETON. PA. W. A. Hallenbaek, Proprietor. This hotel ia Proprietor. Tliis hotel ia Xkw, and is ,1 open as a first class house, nituittn at eejunction of tho Oil Creek A Alleirhonv jtiveraml lliiladeipina cV j-.rio l.aiiroaus, ooosite the Depot. Parties havinir to lay ver trains will lind this the moHt oonven- nt hotel in town, with first-class accoui lod.tiont anil reasonable chariies. tf. TifTt Sons 4 Co.'s VTIIVV ENCilNF-S. TheunderHlpnedhave IN forsale and will receive orders for the above Kn trine. Messrs. Titlt Sons A- Co. er. now . sending to this market their VI Hoise I'ower K.ncrine with 14-llor.se Power Jtoiler pecu:i:ii lv u hiotecl to deep wells. (li l li'Ksat Dinicaii A Chitlliint's, dealers fn Well rixtiires, imnlwure, Ac., Mam St, iit door to Chuse Mouse, l'leiisanivill, an t ul Muiihiou I (onve, I nosviiio, tf. V., P.KKT 1' A SON, Agents. John. K. H.il'.ock, TTORNKY AT LAW and Solicitor of V.'cuts.No. f,i"i l'reni'h m reet(opposito l iioute) l.ne, I'a. V. ill practice in t -esiveial S-iite Courts mid tho United fiia.ta Coin-In. Spi'ciat attentinn triveu to ooeilii-' patents for Inventors ; iiifriimo- uienln, re-issiio unit extension of pii'ents '4'elul:v attemttd to. llclcrcucos: jioii. James Cumpbell, Clarions Hon. Joint S. Jic aiinoiit, l'i Hiik lin ; II. L. A- A. II II clmwnJ, Meadville; W. E. Lathy. Tl onesta. i 7 Dr. J. L. Acorrb, pHTSiriAN AND Rl'RGKO.Y, who has a nail litiecn vcni's exis i leiicem a lartte and succoN'Inl practice, will aticnd nil Profssional Calls. Oilico ill his Druir and Grocery Store, located in 1 idioute, near Tiuioute House. IN HIS STORK WILL RE FOUND A full assortment of Medicines, Liouors ' Tobacco, Cigars, Stationery, Glusx, Faints, Oil., Cutlery, and line Unioeries, all of the bast quality, aud will be .old at reasonable raies. II. R. BURGESS, an exnertcncedXrus pist from New York, baa charge of the More, ah prescriptions put up accurately, W. P. Mercilliott, Attorney at Law JUSTICE OP THE PEACE, Ann II Hi I, ESTATE ACS EXT. TIONESTA, PA. 7-tf JOHN A. OALt, SNA. eROPER, VICEPMEST. A.H.STEELI, CAtHR, TIOHESTA SAVING S DANK, Tiouesta, Forest Co., Pa. This P.ank transact, a General Raukintr t'o'.:,ictniir and l-.xchane Iusiiioss. Iirans on the I'li.icipal Ciliea of the L'n.terl St iles and Europe liouuht and sold Gold and .Silver Coin and Govrrnuiont rti.cuiities hntiu'ht lind Mild. 7-itU liouds rfn'ei toil on tlie niosl favorable terms. Interest allowed on time deposits. Mar. 4, tf. XOfflCE. DR. J. N. ROLARD, of Tidioute, has ruliirusd U his practice alter an ab sence of four months, spout iu the Ho. i talsofNow York, where l will attend ealls iu his profession. Oitico iu Kui;cka Druir Stora, 31 door aoove the bank, Teii onto, Pa. 411 TANTE. Land in Pennsylvania for caelt uid t-"K(l Btocks, Townstjid Hww,HHMaiO 'Uttri Ha, Phlrt, '.'4- "Lot ua havo Faith VOL. III. NO. 45. GREAT EXCITFMENT1 at theStoro of D. S. KIT OX, & CO., Elm St., ionesta Pa. W are In daily receipt 01 tha argeattnd MOST COMPLETE stock caiocr.iiiiiM and PROVIRIOXN, EVER DROUGHTTO THIS MAIltET B00T3 & SHOES ! FOR TUB MILLIONS! which w. ar. determined to sell regardless of prio.a. AXD House Fnrnikhing Goodsi, Iron, Nails, Machine tools, Agricultural Implements, Ac, Ac,, Ac, which we offer at greatly re duced prices. FURNITURE ! FURNITURE ! I of all kind., PARLOR SUITS, CHAMBER SETS, LOUNGES, WHATNOTS, 6PRI.a RF.DS, MATRESSES, LOOKING GLASS ES, Ac, Ac, Ac, In ENDLESS VARIETY. Call and eec, 7-tf D. S. KNOX, A CO. (i KN I S WANTI.D Knit THE A 1,1 Kit A It Y OF POEI'IIY AND SONG. Tho handsomest and cheapest work extent. It lias s. .icthinir In it of the best for every one. for the old, the mid-d!e.-!ii;cd and the younir and inn become universally wpulnr. F.xeeptiim the It. hie this will be the book moot lovisl and the most freiincni i v reierrctl to iu thelimiilv. Every imfje has passed under tho critical eye of tlie .Tout poet, WM. CI LI. EN BRYANT. Rare chance tor best airents. The only book of its kind ever sold by Biibtcriptioii. Send at once for circular. Ac., to ti Ml. MACLEAN, Publisher, ?.fl-4t "l'J Smisom St., Philn leiphia. Pa. SEASON OF 1S70-71 MASON & HAMLIN CABINET OIIGANS. Important Improvements. Patent June Slst and August 2'M, 1870. REDUCTION OF PRICES. The Mason A Hamlin Oriran Co., have the pleasure of anKoiincing important im proveinonts in their Cabinet Ortruns, for which Putcnla were ifiHiilod them in June and AuiiUHt last. Those aro not merely meretricious attachments, but enhance tho substantial excellence of Uio instruments. 'i'hey are also enabled by increased tacil ities a Iutko new manufactory, they hope herealler lo supply all orders promptly. The Cabinet Or cans made bv this t'oiit- pany are of such universal reputation, not only throimhout America, luilalso iu Eu rope, that few will need asouranoo of their suiieriority. 'l'hev now offer Four Octavo Cabinet Or gans, in quite plain cases, lint equal accord ing to their capacity toan thing tlicy make for i 0 each. Tlie same, Doub'e Reod, t5. Five Oc tave Double Uocd Organs, Five Stops, with Knee swell and Tremulant, In detrain ease with several of the Mason and Hamlin improvements, fU5. The sinue 1 xua with m'W Vox lliimana, Autoiualie Swell etc., 8U,0. Five tettivus, three wis Reeds, seven stops w ith Eujhonej a splendid in siruuieiit.s, J-"-"i. A new illustrated eataloiruo with full information, and rcpuced prices, is now ready, ami wil be sont free, wall a testi monial circular, presenting a reat muss of evidence us to tlie superiority of these in struments, to any one Kcudiu his address to MASON A HAMLIN UltGAN Ct., 151 T remold Street, liostou, os tRi itroadwuy, N. Y. UtMt 1.00 P. M. Freight and Auejiiiin i Lition daily. liv ltiov. T. Dii Wri t' Tai maok, Tho most Popular Preacher in America. Af.'ents wanted everywhere, male oi fe male, to sell tills irreut work, ia belter than Mark Twain, and no trouble Id mil. Iii Prolils. Send lor terms an id illustrated i iih 'o circular. Evans. Mm litduii-M. n. 710 Koilnom St ' sUk that Right makos Might; and TIONESTA, PA., TUESDAY, FEBRUARY i2J, 1871. Sincerity. Ci ve me sincere fricnd.J.or none. This hollow glitter of smiles oml words compliments that mean nothing pro testation of affection its solid as '.'..c froth upon clianipagnc invilutioiis that nro hut pretty scnteuccs, uttered becnuse sttcli things aro cnstoinarv, are worthless to me. There is no need of them. It is proper to he civil and courteous to the most indifferent stran ger; but why aspume friendship's out ward how when no reality underlies it? en one feels friendship, tlie ob ject iat sentiment cannot suffer, and li. .e our hearts untroubled can not be slandered, leaving us unharmed. To see ouj friend successful, even be yond our own powers of success, is a great joy to us ; to hear that friend ap plauded is a pleasure. 1 ct, every day men who fancy themselves frte.ids, show mean envy of each other's lucky hits; anil women, who kiss on both cheeks when they meet, will whisper treacherous little stories of each other yes, and whipper them to men. So that, when msot women say to me, "We were talking of you just now!" 1 wonder only lor one is not sincere enough to say it out whether it lias been possible to squecie one drop of scandal into the humdrum story of my life; or, failing that, how many times they have been multiplying my ago by ten, to prove me older than I con less myself to he. But it is lint sin cere to praise everybody. It sounds amiable; but men cannot all be "charming," and women all "so sweet." I like to know from tho Fpeccb of a man or woman that this one is a friend; that, a mere aciiiiiintance. I think warm heaited people are never gener al admirers. All cannot bo loved siu cerely; all cannot bo really even pleasant. Constant laudation of eve ry body may be a pleasant form of in sincerity, but it is insincerity, after all, forme. It heaven will help me, I will be siuoere. I wi.l not abuse my inti mate friends when their backs are turn ed ; I will not praise any one I do not like; I will not kits women I hate, nor give men loving looks aud loving smiles when I do not like them. Aud as I do unto others, may they do unto me, for I deserve no better. Ex. t . Thirst Quenched Without Drinking.' It may not be generally known lo our rentiers tht water, even salt water, imbibed through the skin appeases thirst almost as well as fr.sh water taken inwardly. In illustration of this subject, a correspondent has sent us the following abridged quotation from a "Narrative of Captain Kenne dy's losing his Vetscl.and his Distresses afterwards," which wus noticed in "Dodsloy's Annual Register for 1769:" "I cannot conclude without making mention of the great advantage I re ceived from soiiking my clothes twice a day in suit water, and putting them on without wringing. It whs u consid erable time before I could mnkt tne people comply with this measure, al though from Feeing the good ellects produced, they afterwards practiced it twice a day on their own accord. To this dicovcry 1 may with justice attri bute the preservation of my own life I and six other poisons, who must have perished it it hud not been put in use. The hint was first communicated to me from the perusal of a treatise writ ten by Dr. Lind. The water absorbed through the pores of the skin produce J in every respect the fame effect as would have resulted from the moder ate drinking of any kind of liquid. The saline particles, however, which remained iu our clothes became in crusted by the heat of the sun and that of our own bodies, lacerating our kius and being otherwise income n ieut; but we found that by washing out these particles, and frequently w t ting our clothes w ithout w ringing tw ice iu the course of a day, the skin be came well in a short time. After these operations we uniformly found that the violent drought went off, aud the parched tongue was cured in a few minutes after bathing and washiugour j clothes ; and at the same time we found ourselves as much refreshed as if we had received some actual nour ishment. Four persons in the boat who drank salt water went delirious aud died; but tnoie who avoided this and followed the above practice exper ienced no such symptoms." Confidence. Yesterday a couple of chaps, going east on the express, made the acquain tance of a gentleman from Utica, Ve uango county, before reaching this point. They explained to him their business, telling him they were mer chants, dodig busiuchs iu this city un der the firm name of More ton Tick & Co., and wished the old gent. email to lend them some money on a cheek. He finally gave them eleven dollars, for which lie was allowed to hold a check for eight hundred dollars. They monopolized his lime until tho iraiu left, when they got oil safely. The Utica man begMi to see clearly by this time, and untitled Chief U.iyd, but the stun was not deemed stitiicient to look nfier, and bo just left his check for 1 rrnaTfr, ia that Faith lot U3 to tho end, Tho Whitford Arrest. We characterised yesterday morn ing, as we felt tlie wrong deserved, the arrest, at Krie, of II. C. Whitford for tho murder of James II. Wisner. Yesterday afternoon, boys were crying "Iho Erie IHxpa'ch Full account of tho arrest of Wisncr's murderer!" through ur streets, the columns of which contained a string of circum stances, and a chain of evidence point ing to Whitford as the assassin, as im potent and infamous as the addled b i . ,i i ,i .. . ,w.,ii Ortllll Ol a Uioou llllisiy iciMjliei I make them. Very few of our citizens . . .. i...:. i ... .i i ... i: i ...t... caught tho bait, but thoije who did lake it in, did so simply to see bow big a fool the Erie City D'mpatch could make of itself. The job was accotu- f dished in a masterly manner. Near y a column and a half of witless spec- ulations, dark in uendors.st range move ments of poor lialf-demented Whitford, and unaccountable expressions from the same individual were given with remarkable preciseness and wonderful adaption to the lixing of this deed up on tlie unfortunato victim of "a detec tive's" shrewdness 1 See how plain a tale sliall put the schemers to flight, and set their cap tive free. On the night of tho Wis her murder, Henry C. Whitford was miles away from ntusville, where he bad bad been for nearly two weeks, en gaged in chopping wood. He knew nothing of the murder until he return ed here on Friday last, a week after the occurrence, and we are told, never knew tho man, or of him, until told who he was ! The infamous charge set up that Whitford killed Wisner be cause of his inlinmcv with his wife, months or years ago, is so base a libel upon the dead, that we marvel that the Dispatch should publish it. The con clusions and ifucpicions, from begin ning to end, as set forth by the Via p'ttrh with so much particularity, are of tho same valueless character, un worthy of sober thought, save in the direction of regret for bo shameless a prostitution of tho public press. Cour ier. The Home Paper. One of our city exchanges makes the following truthful observation con cerning local papers, and the duty of giving them wholesome support : The local paper is an absolute neces sity to the county and community where it is published. All the city papers cannot supply the first love of every man or woman, for with the pa per i"s the locality identified. The pa per gives tlie county and town, where printed, much of their importance in the world, and gives in detail the local news, which cannot be gained by any other source. Every-day's issue of the paper is an much local history, and the rise, growth and development of the town and county can bo meas ured aud recorded only by tho local newspaper that constantly is gathering its items. People do not properly ai- preciate their house newspaper. I'hey measure uie vuiuo ot u pnpoi i much by the number of colu una it contains. The home paper utauy price is tlie cheapest paper one can take, for iu it is found matter that cannot be had from any other source. Another thing to be taken into consderatiou. Every county has one or more newspa pers. Hen-e, the circulation of each paper must be limited. There is, there fore, the greatest need of activity and interest on the part of the people, to give their own paper good vigorous and substantial support Harmony cf Colors Many ladies wiih small fortunes lav ished on their drcs", lock dowdy ana and gawky ; while others, with only a scanty purse to fall back upon, out shine' them in every particular, be cause the harmony of cfilnrs was stud ied in the latter case, ami disregarded in the former. Women should study, individually, the colors that are most becoming to them. The real secret of success in dress is to wear those colors which horuionize with the hair, eyes, complexion, ami general appearance. It u not so much tlu style or texture of a garment, as the colors. If only our American ladies would be more independent and select for tbems Ivrs whatever t most becoming, without regard for what is worn abroad, they would soon establish for themselves a reputation for taste in dress, which ran never beattaintd by blindly following the fashion set for them by the dame, of the Continent. Mark Twain has this adviie for young men with literary aspirations : "Write without pay until .niucbndy offers pay. If nobody offers pay within three years, the candidate may look upon tlie circumstance w ith the most implicit coiifidtuce as the igu that saw ing wood is w hut he was iiiltlnled for." John I'aiidolph was once, on a race Course, solicited to bet by u stranger, who said, "Smith, here will hold the! stakes. "Just so, replied the deseen- dant of Pocahontas, "but who'll hold lkmithr' daro do our duty as we understand The Uttl Church Around the ner. Cor- The story of "The Little Church Around the Corneri" illustrates from what apparently unimportant events in the afliiirs of men most important results will follow. At the solicitation of a committee of actors, Joe Jefferson called on the llev. Mr. Sibine to ar range vith him for reading the funeral services over poor George Holland. Mr. Habine had consented without hes- nation, auo tjcueisnii wua nuuui, nc- i t . ii' - -i .1- .. . , , , , , . J;ar,.1"'-W I VV" r h 7 T- V, . t' I''"' ! fcabme might not understand who Holland was. and Jef- j lersoneai.i: .ur. no i mnu was actor , . will that make any ri.itercnce to your Mr. feabtne hung his head and a mo- ment ana t .en repjteu, lesu win i nonii.tt earn I in At. V firm t.,f ail ut.tl ' V . " ! Mr Jellersou then inqu.red can you , tell me who will ? to whieli Mr. Sa- bine replied, "iheresa i.ttic emiren , . """' "" -'" -y , tilings jenerson ooweu anu quiet y I remarked, "All Honor to Hie lime church around the corner,' and bade Mr. riahine good went around the corner and secured thc services of the Rev. Dr. Houghton. Jeflerson made no mention of the event save to the committee, and the whole affair seemed likely to pua by without the slightest publicity. x day or two after' however, one of the committee, in conversation with one ot the editors of the Globe, chanced to repeat tho incident. Iu the next issue of the Globe the story appeared headed "God Bless the Little Church Around the Corner." The next morning papers took it up, and during the day Jell'er son was besieged by reporters, none of whom,-however, gained audience, Mr. Jeflerson declining to aid in the pub licity of the atiair. But it was too good to keep and, nnd the "Little Church Around the Corner" has been made immortal. The great prejudice against the dramatic profession has crumbled at one blow, and the true spirit of Christianity stems better un derstood than ever before. The change is wonderful, and no hater of bigotry or lover of the good can refrain from exclaiming with Jeflerson, "All honor to the church around the comer." X. Y. Vlube. A Cure for Catarrh. Take one part finely pulverized salt petre, and mix with two parts white sugar reduced to flour. This is an ef fectual remeday in all stoppages of the head, catarrh, etc. It must he entitled up the nose a dozen times or more a day, according to the severity of the affection. Persons frequently die from catarrh in the head, the disease becom ing so bad that the mucus, instead of discharging through the Hose, as it should du falls down the throat and lodges oil the uings, producing many a sore throat, the cause of which is not Siispected, aud terminating fatally, in man v instances, in that most dread ed of all diseases, coi.suniptioii. Dr. Guthrie says: "Before Go 1 urnl man, In-fore the ('iiiin h ami theworid, I impeach intemper. nee. Iiharge it w ilh the murder of innumerable souls, In this country, blessed with freedom and plenty, the word of God, and the liberties of true religon, I chargu it as tho cause whatever tie the source elsewhere of almost all the poverty, and all the crime, and almost all the ignorance, and almost all the irreligion that disgrace aud ulllict the land. 'I am not mad, most noble Festus. I speuk the words of truth and soher neai.' I tin, my conscience, believe that these intoxicating stimulants have sunk into wretchedness more men and woineu than found a grave in that deluge which swept over tho highest hill tops, engulphtng a world of which but eight were saved." Did any ever think f a surgeon's troubles when a pretty girl is his vie tim? The people of Fort Dodge.IowH, voted that Miss Kitty Underwood wus the most beautiful young lady in town. Kitty had a felon mi her lkud, and a surgeon was called to lance it. The glitter of Kitty's eyes caused his hand to tremble, and iu a second Kitty's blood spurted into his face from a ar tery he had severed. The Republican says the wound bleeds so profusely that it is feared the arm mtut be am putated. While a Mississipj i Mam hunt was taking on some like stock, a mule re I'liood to hudi'.P, so the mate told a deck hand to twist hi. tail. He twisted his tail a twi-t or two, or perhaps three, when something appeared to give way there behind tiie mule, but the man never knew what it was. It was a l t of mule heels, and the dock bund left a wile and two chiidau iu Ne Or leans. An Illinois postuui-ter gives notice as follows: "Af er this date evert body must lick their own stumps, for luv tongue's given out." It is a rein irable fact that however well voting ludies may bo versed in j grammar, very few are tuallcd to I afioe matrimony. it."--LINCOLN, 82 PER ANNUM. Max Ring, the German author, 1ms published a new book, entitled "Louis Napoleon Itonnpnrte," in which he gives the following anecdote f tlie early years of Hie ex-hniperor : W hen a very little fellow, he used to pa,on his way to school, a blacksmith shop, around which he sometimes loiterrd. One day he made the discovery that the blacksmith was in the habit of lighting his pipe with a long rod of iron, and, watching for a favorable op portunity, he drew the rod out of the lire and replaced it with the hot end left sticking out. so that when the v v . v.v v..v ,. ...... 8mith retur"LMl in n ftw 8RCon,,S af,cr ,tr,,mrn on,t -.!. of the ci,unc took bold of the rod to draw it out of ti,e fire, to light his mm hc hatned hi8 i,.uid i,atl T nh est,amatioll of paia nnd gur, ,,rifie was responded to bv a burst of 1 . . . . .t t . uncontrollable laughter Jrnm the irre IirrRHil)ll, Lo1, who hi)1(len llim WHV 8()II1(,wilcre to cnjny thc lc, TOffl of ni(,0 iittle prm,tical joke, alui W, thus, despite ot himself, had vtBe(l i,ia .ct.rct all(1 lis hiding. !ln The ronsenuencfl wna that he ' ;..j ,i, I,,,,, i : ,i,, u ,i n-Lcnrn n'c mov ucuiiu tuai. ou j lov ably ever got iu Ins life t,Ndan except ed; from the old smith, whose name was Mavor, and who is still living and well to do near Elhing How much greater is the power of an old song, n ith simple air and words, than of those more dm, cult and art is tic ones winch sometimes throw the professional musicians into ecstacies of delight. It nmy not be because there is more music or more feeling to them; but they are endeared to tho hearts of the common people through familiari ty, and associated with home scenes of love and affectioli.and appeal to sen timents and feelings thatcould not be awakened, no matter how artistic, or sparkling w ith gems of beauty. When these have become familiar, and asso ciated with the loves and joys of a lifetime then, they will also beconio "household words," and awaken the same feelings ; but until such is the case, the simple songs of yesterday will be the most popular. "There is no such thing, my wife tells me," said a professionel man to me, lately, "as obtaining a good cook w ith a good character at anything like reasonable wages. And I believe it. We bail one, a very pluin cook, botb in accomplishments and manners, to whom we gave $100 per annum. Find ing she knew nothing, 1 paid (15 to have her properly instructed at a cookery. This done, she immtdiate ly demanded that her wages should be doubled. As we declined to comply, she left us, and obtained easily 8200 elsewhere. Reflecting on the loss of our $15, my wife proposed that she should herself take a coti.se of lessons ut the said school, to which I jovfolly agreed, and never has our money been better invested. There is a story cxtnnt of an absent minded man who had the toothache. He was a quarry niiin by profession, and he concluded that the lust way to rid himself of the afflicted tooth would be to blast it rut. So he filled his mouth with powder, fired a slow match and ran around the corn r to get out of the way of the rsult. When the explosioti'oceurred l.e was surprised to find hotv (dose it seemed. I; wits very successful so far as the tooth was con cerned; but when the Mount Con is tun nel chap went home the general aspect of his mouth resembled that of the Dclawaie gap. The dentist says he would not undertake to fit him with a set of teeth, of the necessary size, for less than a thousand dullars. Many a man of respectable intellec n rt I powers bus gone down to ruin, and died mi-erably, because of his limp ness, which made it impossible for him to break new ground or to work at anything whatsoever, with the stimu lus of hope only. He must be bolster ed up by certainly, supported by the walls of his groove, else he can do bothing; and if he cannot get into his his friendly groove, ho lets himself drift into destruction. Iu no manner are limp people to be depended on; their very central quality being fluidi ty, which is a bad thing to rest ou. At a late meeting of the Farmers' Club, in New York, there happened to be a peculiarly tine apple ot one vari ety, which the chairman whs requested I to" present to the handsomest lady I pre-ent. This was rather a p iser for the chairman, hut with his customary readiiuss, he tilst bowed graciously to the ladies, and then p icketed the fruit, remarking that he dared uot introduce an apple of discord into such a har monious and intelligent assembly. A gentleman ut Elmira wanted to build a warehouse ou the ( In tilling ri.er, and found it necessary to drive it lot of piles, so ho wrote to Horace lirch v to lind out v. l.tit he could gel a diivcr for in New Yoik. Horace wrote lo him that l.e had been inquir ing of the pr.'prit t els of the stage lima tle rc. and found ti nt he could ret one for Si!-") u inoiilh, and hourd and wash ing, but hu advised him to employ some countryman todtixe for him as the city drivers were always gittin-' drnulr. ii I-:. h- ( ' not lin : t :-n :ix;h in len.-.'.i, I0 )" r J ear. 1 c -ill rv'l n! c-trtU'sni"! T'.' These ntoH are .e.v, nod no deviation vill he in i ie, or (t:.,-i,mbiitti'ii iiini I eti-.ois. Tie1 rites o!.fe,t nro stu h. "is will mal;e it t i the i lv:mlaeol ini-idoi bu 'im -s in the limit "1 il,i, circulation of tne paper to advertise liberal! v. huiii.iiiowii ' iiiin nil " """" Miscellaneous. Law is like a sieve ; you may see tlironrrh it but von must be considerably j . . reduced before you can get through it. The difference between a country a. id a ritv greenhorn is that the oms would like to know eVcrthing, and the other thiuks he can tell him. A little Boston girl joyfully assured her mother the other day that rhe had found out where they made horses she had seen a man in a shop just finishincr one of them, for he was nail ing on his lust foot. Little Jimmy WenB, a New l ork newsboy, is the inventor of "walking ofl on his car." He throws his heels into the air, places his ear on the floor ami propels himself rapidly across the room by his hands, A Detroit girl, who wears a leaver and carries a cane, tried to kiss a hottl w aiter t'other day. The insulted youth complained to the landlord, who in formed the oti'encr that sho must re spect the men about the hotise.or leave. A gentleman of Washington, hard pushed for a compliment to a lair lady, whose face was marred by an uudiuia ble flat nose, n marked "Madnm.you tire a fallen angel frcin Heaven, Lilt yott fell on your nose." Jno. Jacob Astor was addressed bv a poor person once like this: "I wn-li I had your wealth." "Would you take caro of my propeity for your bread and clothes asked A-tor."No."exciaim-ed the querist. "That is all I get:" replied Ailor. A printer ilitnned a man for the amount of his bill. The debtor aid he was "Sorry cry sorry, indeed that he couldn't pay it.'" "Well," said tho printer, "I took you for a man that would be sorry ; hut u you are sorrier than I am I'll knock under." . A frenllemnn littv'iut? a t0nv that - -. b - , started and broke his wife a neck, a neighbor told him that he wished to purchase it for his wife to ride upon. "No," says the other, "I will not sell thc little fellow, becauso I inteud to tnarrv ngain." Mr. Hoffman, of Texas, was in a barber's chair, getting shaved, when an unknown man entered and shot him dead.' The gross impropriety of such familiarity, without the form, ality of an introduction, will be wo think, universally conceded. At Cedar Falls, Iown, says an ex change they get mad if a man goes in to the theatre with a cigar in his mouth aud puts bis heels on the shoulders of the man in front of him. A man got arrested just for that out three. '1 hero is no socibility about some people. A sirong movement is afloat at Boston for the relief of the needle women and othei working girls, ninny of whom are now out of employment. Boarding places wlnr living may he had at small expeme will be istublibhid, and other iihiliintl.ri pic piutis will souii be carried uiit. And now Phil. Pheridan is tumirg bis intention to legal ucquirum ids. He is to be married on his return from Europe to Miss Bessie Law, one of tho belli a of Zam svillo, Ohio. He evi ih nt!y wants his diU of relat'ioin in law, A father in lu a- Law, a mother in law Law, a sister-in-law Law La i Frank Bueliitti'.d, the well-known naturalist, says the lust way of secur ing one's portiiienteHti a speedy transit through any custoni-houtc, British or foreign, is to have a live snake cu the lop of tho articles contained in it. This is about the first suggestion for utilizing suake since i'nir A .years ago, had a pit tore of a Kentuckiau clean, ing his meersehani pipe by "walkiug a live rattlesnake through it." A countryman was standing on one of the w harves the other duv watchiutr the progress of hoisting au anchor of a schooner, winch we getting under weigh, and as he saw the huge iron rise from the water to the "Yo heave oh!" of the sailors, he remarked : "You mm houvA liiidi and heave low. but you will never get that crooked thing through that Iittlo hole I I Know Bet ter." Harrison county can beat the mean est man iu Indiana. A farmer in the north part of that county has his aged father living with him, and employed at low wages. Last week the farmer's child died, and na'urallv enough the old nisti attended the funeral of his grandchild. The duti'.'til son in set tling w ith his father a f w davs after the funeral, docked him for tho timo be hud lost in attending tho child's burial. A worthy old gentleman in a nei;.h boriiiir tow n is verv absent minded, and I has a short memory. It is a mimm :i habit with him in the pulpit to to-, 1 soineihii.L'. nnd iht n al;critlir." uowu I to i ise up ugain, and hegiu ll ! lo ! ineiiiuiy riiurrk wilh tlie x j.r " u : "By the wav." A few Sumt-i. jle'g't 1, nil' way tl.rot.eh a jiayir, ! when he hisitllt'ed, h r.nt wlicl l.e vrs ! about, tt tut sat down ubruptly will nut ilos:i ;j. In a i o iiKi:! or two, he je.-e ai d 'f'i I - ioiceio r -iu Ue auu iiic'. i i. ' i ti, 1. 1 tu.d : "Oh I ly the way Amen."