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Zht gcpuMiwn. nTBi.isnrD kteiit wdem.vy, by W. T?. DUNN. TTK n ttnmrooif 4 nownta-s Brrru)io, ELM BTREET, T101TB8TA, PA. TKRMS, f3.l0 A YKAR. ! BabeerlpMon rpcelvod fur a shorter period titan three luontU. . - Oarreapotutfloe sol lot ted from all parts of aba eonntrv. No notice will bo Ultra of Rate Of Advertising. : fl f! t. . . Ono Hqudre (1 inch,) ono inortion - 1 00 OrioHuuai o " one month ' - 3 on wan. One HrUro " three months - fi 00 tta isqiiftre " one yar - - 1005 VPwo Squares, one year ...... 15 CO Quarter C"l. ' - W 00 Half V " . . , rIH Ona " ' ". , - - . ie ta I.rnJTl notice at established rates. Mnrrintro and death notices, gratis. All kill. t'.i. ...). . 1 .... .r.i.n TI,,'. ril.rJH.riHnilll Ici-totl nunrlcriy. Temporary ailVertisp. incuts iniiMt It pnid for in advance. VOI. VI. ISO. 4G. TIONESTA, PA., F'EBRUAHY 25, 1871, $2 1'KR ANNUM, iTmom communications. 4011 worx, cannon iioiivery. n ipinnn n U-! . . '. 1 BUSINESS DIRECTORY. TIONESTA LODGE . Xo.309, i. o. of o. jp. MIKTYt everv Friday evening, at T o'clock, In Oie Hall tbriuerly oocuplod hf tba Wood Tom pi am. J AS. WOODINOTOX, N. O. A. B. KELLY, Sec y. 27-tf. Samuel D. Irwin, ATTORMRT. COUNSELLOR AT LAW and RltAL K3TATK AUKNT. LeKal tnlBes promptly slteuded to. Tionesta, a. IT tf4. MlLBa W. TATE. ATTORNEYS AT LAW, Almr. TTOXKSTA.PA. W.W.Ksssa, , Crwrpi. Jmki, ikm r. ' . , t. Maton. A JanW ' ATTORN ETS AT LAW. Offlee an Kim SXr t, boots Walnut, Tionesta, Fa. F. W.MaTa,' ' ; ATTORNBT AT LAW, ami JfoTABY Pouo, KarnoUla ltukllt Co.'a . Bleak, ec HU, Oil City, Pa. 8iMy . a, mitiTi ., jcz.vjfiiJjitJkftJtr, I Attarwri at Law, Franklin, a. PR ACTICR In the aeveral Coarta of Ye- aas;o, Crawford, Forest, and adjoln taa; eeantiaa. ; SV-ly. , : ; . Bnaaia, . t . n, AsisVr, ITARnia S TAM3KTT, 1 " ssemeya at Law, TttaeTluV Penu'a. I PRArTICKIn all the Courta of Warren, Crawford, FerMtaad Venango Coun Hee. V -t . J. H. Helvly, . 1 SCRQCOX DENJI8T, n Schonblom's Htiitdina-, between Centra aud Syca aore Mts., Oil City, Pa. All operatlntia done In a careful manner ami warranted. Chloroform and ether ed aainlaterad whan required If the oae wilt permit.. : , 13-ly Charles B. Ansart. , ., , ' DBWTIST, Ceatre Street, Oil Cty, fa. la lineaa' JSlook. i ' ' Lairrenca House, .;" TroifMTA, PA., O. U.;.RUTTBR FIELD, Vaorai rtor. Thla hone ta eentrallT located. KTrrytlilnff naw and well furnished SJuperlor ooorotnoda Moaa and strist attaniion siren to guests. Veicetsblee and Fruits of all kil!iaBervod . kt Uieir season. bauipU nomTor Com aaerclal Agents. FOR.EST HOUSE, DJU.ACK PROPRIETOR. Opposite Caurt Houae, , Tionesta, Tw. , Juat paai. Kvarvtliine new and clean and f)asa. The beat of liquors kept constantly n hand. A portion of the public patron age Is respectfully solicited. ,, .4-17-1 y Tlonesta House. " pi T. LATIMER Lec, Kim Rt. Tio- Vi aeata. ra., at the niouin or innrreea, jMr. L. has thomiiffhly renoTntml the Tlonaata fejouaa, and ra-fiirnlahed II com alately. All who patrouine him will 1 wall antartainel at ronHiHinbie rauw., s-iy - National Hotel, ' ' TIIMOnTE, PA., Benl. Elliott, proprio t. TIiIh house Lu boon newlv turn. llUoil and i" kept In ttnod ntyle. Quotfe jwill be mnda coin ftirtable bare at reavona- ble rate. lyj Dr. J. L, Acom.b, PMYSICI AS AN! KUROKOX.'who haa bad tlftaen Taara ex Mriinoe In a larpo and auiv-vMirul prarltno, will atuvit nil I'rofraKiiinal t'alln. tXTli-a In bia Druir arid Jircx-ary Store, located n lldiouto, near Tiaioute liouae. , I IN HIS STORE WILL BE FOUND "' A full aartineut of Mediolnea. " Llnuora Tobin, I'lnrH, Stationery. Ljl, Psillta. will ue aom ai reaaoifaoia rio, I lit. CIIAS. O. DAY, an etfperienood riirainla'ii and Drum 1st from New York. vbai'o '( lUa.fcujre. All proaorlptioua 4utuauateiy. ,' 0 a. t. no. r. ria. a. a uuv. XI A Y, PARK B CO., B A HKBRS Corner of Klin it Walnut Sta. Tioneata. ilank of rHvxmnt aud Oapoait. In Ureal allowed qT)ie Depoeita. lleMnnf madeonall the Principal pointa or the U. . Collectiona aoiioitad. . . ;18-lr -NEW OILLJARD ROOMS! DJOlKlNU thaTionoaU lloiiao, at the Jt iiouth of TioiiMla Creok. The table and room are new, and everything kept in nriUr. To kke of the ame a cordial tnvitatien la eaUDd4 W tuin a and play jn ma new room. i7 if tt. T. LATIM ER, Lowiee, D.W.CLARK. Vuail ra'a rur.aa, roacaTco., r.) R P.. I T XS TA TE Ad EST. HOI Bits and Ix4a for P tlaaiid nEXT Wild lamia for ale. 1. I b" .uperiar facilitu'S tor awnrtuiniii; 4ti roml'liou i, I m and Ux dea, drrM l siu ll.i r fvi iMnlilkt'd to ai' iiiti-lll-'iJ)' vl luut liiiMK at mac eu v. vw V'V '" u U i t juijty. .'it.. w Bn.mii'ivts liuoiv, Court rl im, i I'lni-xa, l a. 4-al-ly. H. W.CLARK. Dr. J, E. Blaine, OFFICE and resldonre opposlto the Ijiwrence llonso. Utile days Wrdnes Unvs and 8aturdava. M-tf, F. WE1TK, JUa eatnbliahed a new nndromnlote LI VERY STABLE In the barn In the roar of the I.awrewe Mon and la prppnrnd to furnish rinsofsll kind on short notlm. Ordors loll at the Law- roni;o Houmo Mill roocive prompt atten tiyn. ' 3-ly. THE BOOT & SHOE STOKE N. E. STEVEN'S. PronrleUir. Partlea . In want of FIN4 Ikiota and 8hoea will always llnd a ptood aaaortmont atHtevena'. When you call, just say "From Tlonaata" and tou will ba ldierally dnalt with. (Mini w i v i viJt K. STKVEN8. FINE GROCERIES, , CHOICE CIQARS, TOBACCO, CAXNED FRUITS, STATIONERY,' AND NOTIONS, for aalaat J. B. AgneWl Btor Room, In Bonner A Agnaw'a Block. 1 FRESH OYSTERS, by the can or aerrtd to order. I 1 . 29 tf. Frank Robblns, PHOTOGRAPHER, (aUCTBaaon TO pBMIXO.) Piaturea In Tory styleof tho art. Tlewa of the oi( regiona 'for Bale or taken to or der. CENTRE STREET, near R, R. crossing. SYCAMORE STREET, near Union De pat, Oil City, Pa. ' ' ao-tr LOTS FOR SALE! " ' . BOROUGH OF TIONESTA. Apply to GICO. Q,SICKLES, ; - 78,NaaBanSt,, Kew York City. : WM. F. BLUM, Slj J 1.TH ' and ? ; . I yr A O O N - M A K E R . .. i Corner of Church and Elm Stroota, Thla firm la prepared to do all work In Its line, and ill warraut vflrythHg done at their aho)a to rIvo NBtiabMHiouj par ticular attention given to . .' I ..nil p; fllve tharu ,a trials and you will not re Kretibi i 13-ly. tHOTOGRAPn ALLERY, V ? x ? W a VTs iA'S'tl'' 1 ; PVER JIILBKONNER A CO.'b STORE,, ' " Tioneata; Pa., . , U. CARPENTER, . , . Proprietor , ricturas taken in. all tho Intost atvlca Uioait. :i -m : i-..-1 i-rt . ae-tr n.'.'i.-l : i i ' : , S. .im i ii. i: TimouTK, Pa. Pwler n, . ! ' riasWateaai, '' Clocks, fswslry, ' Bpaetaelatta, -All repairing; In this line1 neatly d"ne and warranted. Par ticular attention paid to J he repairing of uri..i.A T GROCERY MD PROVISION STORE IN TIONESTA. GEO.W.BOVARD&.CQ. II AVE just brought on a complete and carsiuuy aeieciea atocK of t FLOUU, T : GROCERIES. " , I'HO VISIONS, and CTerythiiiff neceaaary to the complete stock ofa firNl-claHaUrocury IIoue, which they have ofionod out at their catuhlish iiiont on Kim St., flrst door north of M. K. Charch. TEAS, COFFERS, sy BUB I KU AHS, FRUITS, Wr?Si IPl HAMS, ' ' LARD, 4 KD rilO ViSJOXS Of ALL KINbS, yt the lowest caMi prices, floods warrant ed to be ol the he.it quality. Call and aiuiae, and wo U'lwve we can mi it you. fiEO. W. BOVARD a pO. Jan. 9, 'Ti. A m i: i. at sr i. It wa fearful night at sea, and the wild winds howled in furry, and the road wavci 1 allied themoelves into a tumultuous chaoi, at if the tempest mid the occasion were rivals, each striving to prove the greatest power of destruction. ' ' i , Yet through the long, anxious hours of the stormy night the brave echooner Idle Waif nobly breasted the fury of the gale, her officers hoping against hope almost, that (he would be able to survive the terrible dangers through which abe was struggling. A month before, she had failed 6p ea ker voyage to Vew : York from a Routh American port, and among her Easinngert was her owner Robert Gra am, of the wealthy firm of Graham A Co.. accompanied by hia wife and daughter Conuua, a lovely maiden of i. ..L i , eiguieen, accompiiaoea, purs' in thought, and aa innocent aa a. ohild. Mr. and Mrs. Uraham idolized their only child, aud when tho father, found tliat lie bad to visit South America on business for the firm, Corinne at onoe begged to accompany him, and, yield' ing to bcr entreaty, a lew days alter found the mother and daughter com fortably "at home," in' the commodi ous cabin of the Idle Waif, a large three masted echooner, ably ' com manded and with sn efficient crew, . . ' The captain of the Idle Waif wan a man of about thirty-five, and of stern nature. He had a man-of-war manner with his crew, which he had acquired when an ouicer in the tuglisu navy, from which, it haJ been said, he was dismimcd in discrace. for allowiue a lavcr, when it was coitain, bad he not been torlbbed, he could have captured the craft trading id human flesh, . At any rate, bo waa an able eom mauder, and the five years' he had beno in the service, of Graham & Co., Captain Hart ' WoodrufT had proved himself most trustworthy irTVery re spect. - j, Tho' first PHU of the Ule Waif was a young man of twenty -five, -who' had become an "officer of 'the' schooner while she was in South America,' In place of the mate, who bad resigned to accept the captaincy of a vessel of fered bjm.' :-',: - . . ; Gervaisa WUde had oflWed to take the place of the resigned officer.' but he fraobiy told Uraliam he could oner no testimonials aa to his character and ability ; that he was an American a Blarylandor had been for seven years an officer in the United States Isbtt, from which he had resigned in a foreign port, fur reasons he did not care to mention. Mr. Graham gared into the strange ly handsome faca of the man i before him, beheld the dark, fearless eye for moment, and then glancing' at the Blight but elegant figure, replied: f "I will trust yoo, hlrt lYDJc. Go aboard the schooner as soon A3 possi Wef-.i . I . . - i ' 1 ) y j , .,The Idle Waif sailed ,. upon her homeward bound voyage, and it ' was evident to all on board that no better seaman than ' Gervaise ' Wilde ever tred a vessel's deck f and yet between him and the c&ptaiu there iu.accr tain restraint. From the first of the home trip Hart Woodruff had treated his first officer ''with an overbearing majaoer noticeable to al), and which the mate received wita eoid at. a4if fvreut politenesB. : .- m ' - ' c ' Corinne Grajiam narrowly1 watched the two officers, and her woman'a eye soon read the secret cause: of the cap Iain's feeling toward his matQVtMtwas jeaMusy;- lor' liart Wooiirnn Jiad from the first loved the. maiden, and seeing that she accepted the polite and gentlemanly attention cf Qepraisa with a reeling of pleasure, . ha deter mined to rid himself of a roan he be lieved his rival. On sailed the . noble vessel until wheu neariug the waters of the gulf, a terrible storm burst upou her, and in creasing toward night, (hreatpned her with destruction. Bravely did the crew siand at their Eosib, and twice during the night did lervaise ascend the riecinir, when fi99 hearts hesitated, aud socuoly turl some sail that the wind bad torn from its sastenincrs. . Mr, . Grabam, with Lis wifo Hd Corinne, had ascended to the deck, and were grouped togethe. anxiously watching the black olorni and raging ocean, while at the same tinio Uiey ppuld not but admire the cool manner ot Oervaise, added to his daring man uer of spriugibg ut once to every post of danger, and the comparison drawn between the captain and pis mate ? re douuded to the latter's credit. ' ' Ail that human skill and courage could do to save - the ' schooner proved useless, for she waa dismasted, became a wreck, aud leaking in many places, it was found that she could no 'auger hold out agaiust the storm, which, though abating t dayliglH, was (.nil raging. "There is but one course. Mr. Gra ham. , The Louts, excepting ouc are washed away, the schooner can remain only a few hours afloat, so I will at once set about building a raft which can hold all of us," said Gervaise turning to Mr. Graham.: i..- v ' "We are all in your hands, sir; but what says the captain?" - "I say," and Hart .Woodrtifr step ped forward, "the mate ifr mistaken, and the schooner will float - many days. Abd yet I would expose Mrs. and Miss Graham to r. so I propose, that you, sir, with your wife and daughter, accompanied by myself and fo.ur of the crew,' take the life boat. In two days, at least, we van reach some of the Carribean Islands. While Mr. Wilde, with the remainder of the crew, can remain with the ves sel, wVicJi, under jury masts, can be run into the nearest port. -"A good plan, perhaps, captain, but as I agree with Wilde regarding the ability ot the schooner to keep afloat many hours, I think we had all better trust to the taft. ' . 11 A frown passed over, the captain's brow, which was not unnoticed, at Mr. Graham's words, but he added : "The schooner will not sink, sir ; the pumps will keep her up." i "Captain, I do pot wish to shrink from any duty devolved on me, so I will abide by tho decision of the men. Call them and ask them if. thesohoon er can be kept above WUr for half a day," said Gervaise. "Here, my men," called out Mr. Graham, "come hither a moment and give us your opinion. How long can we keep our heads above water by re maining on tbjs vessel f"; "A few hours,' sir, perhaps half a day," rejoined the man, and as if sat isfied with their answer, Mr, Graham said : ,.,,, . V- . "Mr. Wilde, commence the' raft at once ; and captain, please see that our baggage and all valuables are brought on deck, with sufficient provisions to last us two weoks." - ' "" Six hours after a large and stout raft was built which was capable of sustaining three tunes the number on the schooner, aud upon, it Gervaise bad securely bound the caboose, to serve as apartments for the ladies, and otherwise, protect thec centre of Ate raft in such a way as to keep the ' bag gage and provisions secure.'" ' '-A All being in readiness, Mr. and Mrs. Graham, with Coiinne, got on board, and were followed by the cap. tain, mate and orew, and the bulwarks amidships baring been cut away, they waited the coming' of a wave to wat.li the in off the schooner, whioh was sink ing rapidly to a watery prave. boon it came a', huge, fbam-capod mountain of water, and ' the raft was lifted on its shoulders and borne off upon the Ocean,, while the ' ill-fated schooner was buried by- the same large wave, new more to reappear. "' 'Eight days the huge raft drifted about on the mighty deep, and no suo oo r coming, the larger, part of the crew arose in mutiny, and, seizing' the life-boat which had been brought along, took the greater part of the provisions and deserted' their Com panions in distress ; but; their ,' deser tion was not a bloodless one, for -three of their number fell dead befoje the unerring aim of Gervaise Wilde's pis tol, for he stoutly resisted them fp t)ie last. Five more days passed, and then itarvation stared ,' the shipwrecked crew ia tho face, fur the provisions and water left them by, the .deserters had all been consumed. Then it was that the captain, Hart Woodruff, and the remaiuing four men of the orew became troublesome, and seeing that Gervaise alone could be trusted,' Mr. Graham, with his wife and daughter placed their only , hope in him; and hia noble conduct won their admiration aud Corinne's love. '- Aaother day passed, and night set tied again ajpojaxib -but a rull moon arisiitgvniadc the sen 'silvery with its light,- r ' ; . " ; .. Huddcniy Hart Woodruff started up from forward on the raft.,' and ac companied by four seamen, came aft torward Gervaise Wilde, who, seeing their hostile advauce, whoclcd and said stcruly : "Back! back, I say! all of you or I'll send a bullet into your ru'uUt." The men hesitated, and Hart Wood ruff exclaimed : "Gervaise Wilde, you are the one I seek, You have stolen from me the love of that girl, amid iuteud to slay : and your vile flesh shall be our fund until succor shall reach us. We are starving, and yet I would enjoy a love feast alon j with yqnr body, tf Ctfiuue Grahaij) is niiue, mine, ntiuo." A thrill of horror mu through thoso that heard h'm, hut Juj mate's firm eyes never ouailod ai4 there was uo tremor in his voice 44 he irpjicd : "Could the sacrifice of uiysolf save Miss ijrahaui and bur pa re u la, i( would be freely given; but it caunut, and if you advance upon me your life shall pay Iho I'm left. )'uu and Cup taiu WujJiuuh", I liar cauuul live to gether upon this raft, so let there not be unnecessary bloodshed ; you are armed; the moon is bright; so take your stand yonder on one side of the raft, while I stand here. Let Mr. Graham give the word, and then let tho best man win." "Ha. na. ha I rrladlv I accent." laughed Hart in a tone that made his hearers feci that Ins reason bad left him, and in vain-' did Mr. and Mrs. Graham and Corinne plead with Ger vaise not to expose his life thus, but he was determined, saying: , ' "It is the only course, sir. The men are wrought up by hunger to a pitch that makes them ready for blood shed, and as the captain ia armed we would have no rest for him ; so give the word, please." "But you may be slain, Gervaine,H and Corinne turned .her loving gate full upon the young man, whose face brightened as be said ; 1 "Never fear, my aim is only to true ; Captain, are you ready ? Mr. Graham give the word, please." The raft rolled lasily open the ocean and the moon shone brightly upon the strange scene, with Mrs. Grabam and Corinne crouching down in the window of the caboose by which' Mr. Graham stood ; while the four serflen, eagerly exceptant, were grouped togeth er forward, watching with staring ryes their captain and his mate, as they stoed only twelve fppt apart, calmly waiting the word to firo wards that must be the death knell to ouo of them, perhaps both. "Are yon both ready?" Suddenly asked Mr. Graham. .1 - "Yes," came the replies. : "fire !" and with the word the pis tols flashed, and with a shriek hardly human, Hart WoodrufT fell bock into the ocean, which became his grave, . . , - "Mr. Wilde, are you hurt?" ex claimed Mr. Graham, as he run for ward,,,. ..1, . ii v ::,.'.'i ' . "Not at nil. Men, forward there and remember, "if one of you coines aft I will shoot him down like a dog." . "Aye aye, sir."- answered the 1 men thoroughly cowed, r.nd thou ono of worn suddenly cnea outr-' 1 : "Sail, oh !" With a glad cry, all on - tho -raft greeted tho -appearance of a large steamer ooroing directly down toward tbera, and upon which they soon were warmly welcome;! by the caplaaud A week more and the shipwrocked party landed in New York, aud then Gervaise became the' guest of the Grahams aye, more, he soon after led to the altar (lie1 lovely col! and heiress, (Joriuue Graham, for he proved to the old merchant that his reason for resigning from the navy was a dis agreement with his commanding officer, for which his good .sense afterwards. showed him aa was to blame. " TUB I.OTUUB.HT OF UKIt HKX. A Western correspondent Writes as follows : I also conversed with a love ly squaw. It she was the lovpliest of her sex, Lord Cornwallis help the fest. Her knapsack differed somewhat from , John frown's. It was a .little war rior about two feet ''in length. . His mqther grew up to have a beau, ' and he'll have a bow before he grows up. She wore for a rediugote an old army ovewoat, and her 'diamond, pocklaoe was a string of tomato cans. Indians dou't have dictionaries,.,. There is only one word in their language it's an oglyword. It's "ugh." Says I, "The pale face greets the valley rose and gives her a cordial welcome," handing per my whisky flask for a cordial wel come. -She drank; the whole of it, chewed the pork, aud said "Ugh." Says I, "Do the winds of the valley too roughly deal with you, fuir daugh ter of the mountain?" Says she, "Ugb." Says L'SLaU aJ favored with yeur hand for, the laRCfrs, and do you. pre fer. Jain 011 or vanilla?" fuays 1 ghp, "Ugh.". Says 1,'iDo you think it bet ter to be' Immolated on the alter of your country than to die of a shad Lite on board ofa fishing smack?" Says she, "Ugh." I asked her how she voted. She said "Ugh." a ' 1 .1 A . cold-blooded exabAoge tells c,S an incident which ccJfcd in Read ing tho other day. A prim spinster, a-bo still had "hopes," was reading the daily paper, when her eyes caught sight of tho head-line "Lett day for proposal." . With a shriek that carae witliiu an ace of rending the skies she toppled on her - chair, .knocked over her toilet table, and decoyed the box ia which she kept lies blushes. She kicked arouud the floor at an amaaing rate, and brought every body is) the building-to ' the room. IeTr silr of nJifcf upea being loll that the article referred to proposal fur fur- uiahiug post i likened to the Jiol.-e of a steamboat bloving on steam. rix black foxes were caught in Cum berland county, Nova Scotia, last fall. These animals are very rare, and their tkuib hdj ,il liibulous price?. k V.NKXrKCTtiW WISDOM. How should a women fasten her stockings so as not to interfere with the circulation or the blood, or spoil the shape of the la let us sea of the "honi suit qui mal y pense." After the most careful research, as, far as our limited facilities Would alloy, wq arise from our humble explorations, and humbly tender the following sug gestions: . , . , .' ; !!'.' Wear them short ; and let tho. tops, bubble over the shoe jn the form, of lace, a ia beer mug. If you have 'em long, put mucilega insid and stiek 'era to you. ' Have them long enough to tie about the waist, and use the top forapanier. Edge the tops with steel and . fasten a loaostone to your corset. ' : las ten a strap to each stocking, ex tend them gracefully up each, side of the body aud attach with blue ribbons, to the earrings, . Tin them in soma other article of clothing in the immediate vicinity. : Fasten them to pail and go bare: footed. " ., v- 1 1 0 '.i . .' i . Attach a small . balloon, ; to... each, slocking. , , r ' Make them out of material that will draw tip. : ' ' - If you are thirty-five and onroarried make a bolo near' the top of each stocking and button it to your knee "P- ' ; ' " . . These are all the methods that sug gest themselves to us at present,' an of the number some one or more may be deemed worthy of adoption, ; We have taken a sudden and lively inter: est in the matter, and shall ,-not rest until the needed reform 1 brought about. Woman'a-limbs shall not bo hampered, and knotted and deformed, if me have enough inventive.! faculty to bring about the new and .healthful ways' of wearing he stockings, and we think we have. " We shall continue our invettigntiout into ' this ' subject. What the women of this. country moat need is riot suffrage, hut .aymroptry ; not rijl'ttSi hut rationality.; pot a place in; legislative halls, but a pjape in fas ten their stockings.1 cVnsnmRif Conj? mereiaL -'d i-' ; :" L " ' '- "'I. ..t., -. i . . i aw i 1 ' ' fi j 1 . Tbo following dialogue. (between s high falu tin lawyer,. and, a plain j wit neas is a good hit at. tho. Cisjijon of big crooked words: ,i, :r-.;;- ''Did the defendant knock the plain tiff down with malice prepense?!!: "No, sir; be knockeel hil down with a flat iron."; -,i -., .1. ; )i "Vou niicundprstand me, my friend ; I wish to tnow whether he attacked him with any intent?" ' a ...'i:t "Oh, no him it was outside the tent." ; ( '.'No, floy I wish to kuowif It was a preconcerted affair?" ; "No sir 1 it was not a free coueert affair, it was at a circus." . . ; 1 : A pew plan U to pe tried .. with Michigan convicts. The striped gav ments are to be abolished. The pris oners are to be allowed to correspond with their friends. ' Those who are uneducated are to bo taught; and, when liberated, each, man b td receive a suit of clothes, and whatoyor t)e hni corned by over-work.' ' ' J . The Te tchors' Association in Wor cester spent an afternoon ia listening to an essay, "Are the. nupiU of our ptiplio schools, overworked ?" and a discusaioB theron. The opinion seemed very decided that late hours, .foolish dressing, bad ventilation, tic., had more to do with the poor health of pu piJs than bard study. ...... ,, , A man was recently lodged on so mo petty charge in the jail at Dallas, Ore gon. The first night after his incar ceration he escaped, and went eight miles en foot to find a man to go his bail..: The following morning tt re turned to , Dallas with his bond ail signed, and was released on bail. Said a professor in a college to a iQr torious laggard who was once, for 4 wonder, promptly in Ills place s( morning' payers, at the appointed time, "I marked you, sir, as punctual, this morning. " W hat is your excuse?" "S-s-slck, six, and couldn't sleep," was the reply. .,' ii KotribuJove justice sometimes fol lows faster than we could expect. An evilmluded Brooklyn boy propelled a snow ball at his aunt lately, and, dodging into a neighbor'"? area, saj down oi) a scntt)9 full of hot ahes. A French gentleman, lwJnc thi pnglish to some purpose, roplieil tiius to toe saluiatious; "How do you do, monsier?" "Do vat ?" "How do yog find yourself Jf" "I never loses myself." vBut how do you feel?",, "Smooth, yot just feel me." . George Washipton could not tcUPa lie, and the Boston papers followed ( his example by not issuing a paper or) his birthday. An exchange contains an obituary liutjcu ut' a gentleman who accumulat-. etj a Iii'(;i! lortitijo nnd Ihirtecn rliil-dicn.