Newspaper Page Text
HARVEY SICKLER, Publisher,
VOL. VII. tlpniitg Bnnarrat. A r.m-cratic weekly - „ ( . loi :od to Pelt jbsfcia /' ' 1 ' !he Arts JIPRYAJ j & -nee,- .to. Pub- *"!B jGITg" 1 ( ~ rv Wodi.es- JpS; 1 ■ ; unkhunnock fpj? I _-< 'inty, P* / \ V kJ. .j' l jy hARVEY SILKIER T" Turn!" —1 copy 1 year, (in a Dance ) i 2,00; if. M j . ! within six months, >2.50 will be charged >'o paper will be DISCONTINUED, until all ar jwri: re pii 1; uuloss at the option of publisher. J K \TKS OR ADVERTISING. TLX' LINKS COSSTITI TK A SUUAKK. r -c square one < r tbr.'e insertion* SI eO , IfSSj isbwiya lit ir.-ertiou TRTI.ESTATE. PURS-.SAL PROPERTY, and GENERAL! AuvLitrisrxG, as may be agreed upon, PATINT MLMCISES unJ other advertisements oy ' the coluinti: One column, 1 year, SCO li i; column, I year 35 Thiol column, 1 year, -5 1 arth column, 1 year, 20 KiisiniCards of one square or less, peryear , a, paper. S3, i ** K: IT 'in al or T.OCAI. TTFM advertising—with ■eit l5 ets. per line. Liberal terms t .le w.:h permanent asivertisers. c\■ 1 MU-, ADMf NIS I'll A I'UltS andAUDI ; - ,\• !'IICES, of the u-ual length, 5'2,50 ' ; ' Villi-". - "xeeeding ten lin s, each ; It EL I ; - ml LITER ARY NOTICES, not of general ! . one halt toe regular rates. VBT A Ivertiieiwents mrt be banded inly Tccs tiv b n, to insure insertion the same week. .toil WtMIK 'An!; neatly executed and at jrioe to suit , niANSTENT ADVERTISEMENTS and JOB r ilk ii u.<t be paid for, when ordered ifris ia ess Xo I /ces. it K..CVV ELIIT LE ATTORNEYS AT U LAW o;see on Tioga Street Tunkhannocfc Pa if !hCOOPER, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON |it, . i. f'eiitic. Lu/crno t'ouiity Pa. II ! . I'Viit:i>ii, ATTORNEY AT LAW. it '• i t , i.t the Court HoUiC, iu Tutikhaiioek 1. C:. P.. i, k, M. i'IATAOKMEk ,v i i..v v( it . -lark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tunk i I ■> .1 DIiSL. AIT'dtNEY A.NJi ' oI'NSEL-j | LOR -.1 LAW, Niebohna, Wyoming Or, Pa l-.c i.i utteuin a given to settlement of vieeo-i Si.:, I. Pa. Dec 5, IS^7— v"ul9yl AT d. V, II>ON, AT 10 .NEY AT LAW, Co'. • pie • ting and Real EsUte Agent, lewa Lends ! h ult. * Scruxew, Pa. sStf- T . UHOAIM, PHYSICIAN A 3UR LO v i P mil attend promptly to all calls in tn.> pro 9. Mav be hau l at hi- "fti e at the Dru" ■ ■■ ■ , > t, ,• put man Sreet, formerly 1 i by A. E. Pe.-khani E.-q. ftPTIOTRV —v~ Ui ■ !v'■ .* 1 i n - '• : t -y . j : ' • ■. .p; . ..>e —* P.?.. I. T. BURNS has permanently locate! in lankb Borough, and respectfully tenler* , Bi pr : -i ami servu-r- to it.- eilixco*. )f - ~n second floor, fo.marly ooou. iod ty Dr. j ' fOBTRAJT, LAUBSCAPg, A.Nl> f\ **r rr "A,"" ~C *"** **c* v ATi ,-- AI'X. XJ> *L"S A As I 7iy ;i\ /.re/:/:, a, t i.-..-.er the Wyoming National bi nk,in Stark's is s 1 k, TUNKHANNOCK, PA. L'■ ,• 1' rtfaits painted froin Ambrotypes or !.• _■ :X- - Pho'ographs Pairtsd in Oil Ce tors, — ( niers for paiaAing* gscltsl accoidingto or t" ' t i a irge made. SVU i - rations given in Drawing; Sketching, t rtr i ■ 1 Landscape Painting, in Oil or water ! '■•r a:. 1 iii ,11 brunches of the ait, 1* July 31, 'pT -vjjnoU-tf. BOLTON HOUSE. llAHlilsHl'ltO, I'KNNA. T nil r-igncl having lately purchased the b : TI.EU HOUSE " property, has already com-' I-:. .- i !i alterations and improvements as will • ir this old and |*ipuUr House equal, if not supe ' • t , any Hotel in the t'u.y of Harrisburg. ,'i tin nance of the public patronage is refpeot • v solicited. GEO. J. BOLTON WALL'S HOTEL, LATE AMERICAN HOUSE, TU Sb.il VN NOCK, WYOMING CO., I\V Til' c,t i' li.hmcnt has recently been refitted an ? la- i-h'd in the la'est stylo Every attention ' vn to the comfort and convenience of tho.-c '1 .";iiiic the I'oii'e. T. B. WALL, Owner and I'roprietor : _J : ir - >-k, .September 11, 1361. MEANS' HOTEL. X'^V.. Ik li. BART LET, oft- "brsinarh Horsn, EI.MIRA, N.Y. I'ItOI'KIETOR. •> MEANS HOTEL, i- one of the LARGEST '■ LL-T AUK A A'li ED lb uses in the country —It *■ i f up in ihe most mo ieru and unproved sty le 1 1 ; sins are spared to make it a pleusaiitund •pwo.le stopping ppaee for all, vaa2l-ly. JmMidll Cwllcge.-*Tb -u, c.-sof Gard- j BSMRMM and Ladies' Academy, at ' ' n, ha* nUrpjssel all expectation. The coterte ! " J ly l- more thorough -the terms are cheaper— ' •2 ' better satisfaction than any other College | J tid in Northern Pennsylvania Life Schol- | - 5 00, i whs tl r-lu-fl rites Send tor' - - 'per giving full particulars. Address J. '' finer. Pnnc.pal, Scranton, Pa. u7nltlyl INFORMATION. -f.L-ti. -itir,n guaranteed to produce ft luxuriant r * - I hair up,ai a bald head or beardless face. 'f ? ipt for tlnj removal of Pimple*, Blotches, , ~ u i', •n..\ et c | ( , n j| ie gi(in t leaving the same sott and licautiful, can be obtained without charge < d Jresing TH')J, F CHAPMAN, CherniK. j 92 Broad ,NwvYork. J TUNKHANNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA. -WEDNESDAY, MAY 6. 1868. getricli's Column. Spring Trade for '6B Will open on or about the Ist of May, AT TUNKHANNOCK. PEI'A. O. DetricK, (SUCCESSOR TO BUNNELL A BANNATVNE,) Proposes to establish himself permanently in trade at this place, at the Brick store house in Sam'l Stark's Block, where by fair dealing and fair prices be expects to merit and receive tbc public patronage. Attention is called to the following in Dry Goods : SILKS, POPLINS, ALPACAS. LUSTRES, DELAINES. GINGHAM?, PRINTS, SHAWLS. I,VI)1E* SAKU'IXG*, l)It ESS TRIMMINGS, BLEACHED AND BROWN MUSLINS, CLOTHS AND CASSIMISRES GENTS' FURNISHING GOODS, TOILET ARTIC EE M . NOTIONS, AC. Groceries. SUGAR, TEA, COFFEE, MOLASSES, P.ICE, SYRUP, CANDLES, SOAP, STARCH, FLOUR, FEED, SALT, PORK, BUTTER, CHEESE, DRIED BEEF, HAMS, FISH of all kinds, BEANS, AC., AC., Hardware, A FULL ASSORTMENT. Cutlery OF ALL KINDS, MEN'S AND BOYS' Hats and Caps. :ot Boots Sf Shoes, A FULL ASSORTMENT. Thig branch of business male a speciality. A lot of SEWED ARMY SHOES, A GREAT BARGAIN, SOLE LEATHER. CROCKER V. STON E, noon AND TIN TVARE, in great variety. All kinds of Produce taken io eiohange for Good*. The above articles will be kept in full assortment. I mean to make the experiment of good* sold in quantiles cheaper than ever before in this vicinity, I shall be happy to see you, and you can depend up on Coding bargains tn every department. Goods re ceived every week. Respectfully yours, c. ! From the Scrantyi Daily Register AT LAST. BY STELLA, OP LACKAWANNA. At last, at last, oh waiting life ; At last, oh languid, throbbing heart, The crocus lifts its starry'eyes And the green hedges start : Oh never mom so dreary-browed. Or never sky so clouJed-o'ercast, But somewhere, 'inong the hills of hope The sunshine breaks at last. At last, at last, oh weary one, That thought the Summer ne'er wo'd comc ; The robin makes his wulcoino bow, And bees are all a hum ; And blue-birds dip their slender wings In rival dalliinee,Jto and fro, . And chorus forth a thousand things Our hearts knew long ago. The rills, like school-freed children shout An J babble to the silont shore, As if there never talked a wave . So uierily before : And the tall wiliows downward plunge To I'sten, if they rightly hear The monotone of other years, So far, and yc t so near- Oh dews as cool as sweet moselle ! Oh spiny brccre that stirs the heart ! Oh fringing woods, ye somehow thrill The blood to quicker start: It seemed so long, so long to wait, When icy fetters bound us fast, Tot never sky so desolate But sunshine breaks at last. A Bachelor's Defense Bachelors are style by married men who have jot their foot in it. as only half per fected beings, cheerless vagabonds, but half a pair of scissors, and many other ridiculous titles are given to them; while on the oilier band they extol their state as one of such perfect bii-s that a change from earth to heaven would be somewhat of a doubtful good. If they are so happy, why don't they enjoy their happiness and hold their tongues about it ? What do halt the men get married for? Simply that they may have somebody to* darn their stockings, sew buttons on their shirts, arid trot babies; that they have si m> body a> a married man said once, "to pull otl their boots when they are a little haltny.,' These fellows are always talking of the lom liiuss of bachelors. Loneliness, in deed ! Who is petted to death by ladies wtih nirdPriag-ahln daughters invited .to tea and evening parties, and told to drop in just when it is convenient /—the bache lor. Who lives in clover all his days, and w hen he dies lias flivvers strew n on his grave by the girls that could not entrap him ' —the bachelor. Who strewed flowers on the married man's grave — the widow ? Not a bit of it; she pulls down the tombstone that a six weeks' grief had set up in her heart; she goes and gets married again, she does. Who goes to bed early because time hangs so heavily on bis shoulders ?—the marrii <1 man. Who gets a scolding for p eking off the softest part of a bed, and for waking up the baby in the morning ? —the married man. Who has wood to split, house-hunting and marketing to do, the young ones to wash, and lazy servants to look after ? the married man. Who is taken up for whipping nis wife ? —the married man. Who gets divorces ?—the married man. finally who lias got the Scriptures on his side?—the bachelor. St. Panl knew what he was about when he said ; "Jlo that marries not dots better," llow to Cot"kt ix Curßcn.—A very young gentleman, happening to be at a Church in a pew adjoining one in which sat a young lady for whom he had con ceived a sudden and violent passion, was desirous of entering into a courtship on the spot, but the place not being suitable for a formal declaration, the case suggested the following plan : lie politely handed his fair neighbor a Bible opened with a pin stuck in the fol lowing text: Second Epistle of John, verse oth. "And now I beseech thee lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment unto thee, but that which we bad from the be ginning. that we love one another." She returned it, pointing to the second Epistle of Ruth, verse 10th. "Then she fell on hei face and bowed herself to the ground and said to lrra : "Why have I found grace in thine eyes seeing I ain a stranger ? lie returned the book pointing to the thirteenth verse of the third Epistle of John : Ilavjng many things to write nnto you, I would not write with a pen and ink, but I trust shortly to come unto you, and speak face to face that our joy may be full. Fr>m the above interview a marriage took place the ensuing week. A witness being called to give evi dence in court in Connecticut respecting the loss of a shirt, gave the following : " Mother said that Ruth said that l'olly told her, that she saw a man that see a boy run through the street with a streak ed flannel shirt, all checker, checker, check er ; and our gals wont lie, for mother Las whipped them a thousand tUnes for lying. 44 To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right. " HOW HE GOT A WIFE. A FRENCH ROMANCE. One of those little romances of which the French are so fond, has lately taken | place in Paris, and is thus described in a journal : M. Robert, an immense!? wealthy and highly accomplished ELEGANT, well know not only for his valuable collections of paintings and mt-diseval relics, but for rare skill as a designer and painter, hear ing that one of his tenauts, a Mr. 8., whom he had never seen, kept one of the most ex tensive ateliers of fancy boxes and orna ! mental objects iu France, called on him I with a view to make his acquaintance. Entering the counting room he found a good-natured, eccentric gentleman of mid- I die age, who greeted him and exclaimed : ! 44 1 suppose that you also have seen my advertisement and come to apply for that j situation as designer ?" For a joke M. Robert replied that he j had. M. B. supplied him with paints and j brushes, and requested him to produce a design for a casket. M. Robert soon found what M. 15. really wanted was an artist who would strictly carry out his own ideas, and that these were pure and formed on jan extensive knowledge af art. In a short ; time he produced a sketch which suited ! the employer to a dot-- 44 A POINT." M. Robert very gravely engaged him- I self, exacted good wages, and insisted on j having several new articles of furniture placi d in the room which was a-signed him. But when he was introluced to the work rooms and fotrr.d one hundred and fifty girls, many of them young and beautiful, | busily employed, and was informed that he would he required to supply them with I designs and show the young ladies how ; they were to be carried out, the young artist began to feel as if he should have to be carried out himself—being very | susceptible. ( " W'oik for a living, " said he to himself, j 4 is not entiielv devoid of attractions. Let i us work " JM. Robert being an accomplished artist, I delighted his emplover. and he soon found a remarkable fascination in seeing his de signs real zed in steel, silver, enamel, or wood. lie took a pleasure hitherto un known in seeing his works in shop-windows and finding tlnm :n the bourdoirs of his friends. This workshop life was of course carcfnllv concealed from "society," nor diu his empioyer suspect that his artist was his landlord. But M. Robert soon | found a more intens- object of fascination in the daughter of Mr. 15.. a young lady who al-o took part in the duties of the atelier. This dsinsel was remarkable for ae ompli-hments, as far her extraordinary beau'v, and M. Robeit soon found that as regaided taste and culture in all mat ters which specially interested him he had never met with any one like her. — Step by step, the pair fi 11 in love, and little bv little, the artist ingratiated him self with the father that the latter, after due diliberation, ccnseutcd to their un-i ion. Previous to the marriage the old gen tleman one day spoke ola dowry. 44 I shall give Marie fifty thousand francs, " said he, with a little air of boasting. 44 Eh, MON GAKCON ? " " And I suppose, " added M. Robert, gravely, " that I. too, must settle something i on rny wife. W c-U I will." This caused a peal of laughter, which was redoubled when the artist added : 44 And I will settle this piece of property : house and all. with the building adjoining,' on her," But what was their amazement when M', Robert drew forth the title deeds, and i ! said : 41 You seem to forget that I am your ! landlord ?" Isn't my uame Robert? The young lady did not faint, but papa i almost died with astonishment and joy. j There was a magnificent wedding, but the | bridegroom has not given up business. — He declares that there is as much amuse- j ment in being useful as in amusing one's i 1 self. NIGGF.R VOTING STOPPED IN OHIO. —In Ohio the Supreme Court of that State de cided that the clause of the Constitution which restricted the right of suffrage to white men, did not preclude those niggers who had a preponderance of white blood, from voting. I nder that decision Radical election boards allowed simon pure Guinea niggers to vote last fail. The (democratic Legislature has decided to put a stop to that, bv passing a law declaring that nl one with nigger blood in his veins shal vote. 4 TEAR DOWN THE FLAUNTING LIE."— Scrgt. Bates, who walked from Vicksbtirg, Miss., to Washington, carrying with him the American flag, was well received ev erywhere on his way till he arrived at the National Capitol, which radical policeman forbade him to enter. This insult to the flag occurred on Wednesday last. At the same moment that Sergt. Bates was push ed rudely back, tbe rotunda of the capitol was half full of vagabond niggers, who bad entered unchallenged. Comment is su perfluous. The Radicals bought up the Fenian Head Centre in Connecticut. He tried to coax the Irish from the Democratic faith. Result, 1,700 Democratic majority. When the Hudson flows into Lake Cham plain, the Radicals will succeed in indu cing the Irish to vote for negro equality and white slavery under Congressional rule.— World. The Liability Act. The following act, which is of impor tance to railroad companies and the pnblic generally, was approved by the Governor on the 4th inst : An Act relating to railroad companies and common carriers, defining their liabili ties, and authoiizing them to provide means of idemnity against loss of life and personal injury. Be it enacted, That when any person shall sustain personal injury, or loss of life, while lawfully engaged or employed on or about the road,works, depots,and premises of a railroad company, or on or about any train or car therein or thereon, of which company such person is not an employee ; the right of action and recovery in all such cases against the company shall be such only as would exist if anch person were an employee. Provided, That this section shall not apply to passengeis. I Section 2. That in all actions now or here after instituted against common carriers or companies owning, operating, or using a railroad as a public highway,wherein steam or other motive power is used, to recover for loss and damage sustained and arising either from personal injuries or loss of life, and for which, by law, such'carrier or cor poration could be bcld responsible, only such compensation for loss and damage shall be recovered as the evidence shall cleatly prove to have been pecuniarily suf fered or sustained, not exceeding in case of loss of life the sum of five thousand dol ! lars. Section 3. That it shall be lawful for such carrier or corporation to insure the lives and persons of passengers against loss or injury from accidental causes, and how ever happening, while in their charge, and for that purpose to issue and sell to such passengers applying for thejsame, tickets or policies of insurance, specifying the name of the insured, the premium charged, the particular trip or time covered by the poli cy, and the amount insured, not exceeding (except at the option of the said carrier or corporation) the sum of twenty five dollars for each week of disability, for a period not longer than tweutv-six weeks, in case of personal injury, nor more than ten thousand dollars in case of death, and all premiums so received shall be kept sepa rate and apart from the other receipts of said carrier or corporation, and shall not be liable for any other claims, debts or de mands against such carrier or corporation than those arising out of said policies, and the amount of said premium ; and the se curities in which the same are invested for the benefit and protiction of such policy holders shall be reported to the Auditor General annually as a part of the opera tions of such carrier or corporation as is now provide I for by the act entitled "an act to require railroad companies to rrake uni form reports to the Auditor General," ap proved April 4th 1859 ; provided, never theless, that it shall be lawful for any such carrier or corporation, iu lieu of issuing tickets as aforesaid, to keep on sale at their ticket office the policies of insurance or in demn.ty again-t persoual injury or death resulting trora accidental causes, issued by insurance compinies incorporated for any such purposes as shall have an actual bona fide cash capital invested in secuiities ap proved by the Governor, State Treasurer, and Auditor General of this Common wealth of at least two hundred thousand dollars ; provided that a recovery upor. any policy issued or solu under the provis ions of this act shall he no bar to a recov ery under the provisions of the second section of this act. Section 4. That all acts or parts of acts inconsistent herewith be and the same are hereby repealed, and any provisions in the acts incorporating such common carriers or corporations inconsistent herewith shall be repealed upon the acceptance of the pro visions of this act by such carriers or cor porations, and upon the acceptance of the provisions hereof by any carrier or corpor ation, the same shall become a part of its act of incorporation. A Story from Paris. A Taris letter tells the following story of a Twelfth Night fete in that city. A wealthy (amilty in the aristocratic boulvard Malesherbes were amusing themselves in seeking the King's portion, or the ring in the festival cake, when a lady of the com pany says to the hostess : 44 I wish my poition to be given to the poorest little boy we can find in the street. ' The servant was dispatched on this freezing night, and not far from the house he found a ragged urchin, trembling with cold and hunger. He brought him up, was ordered into the saloon, where a thousand lights glittered, and a sparkling fire gladdened and surprised him. He drew his portion which the benevolent ladv had promised, and as luck would have it, the little fellow found the "ring" ( beans they use in Taris instead,) and, of course he was "King." They all shouted out that, being a £ing he must choose a Queen. He was asked to do so, and look ing around the company, ho chose the very lady who had proposed to cede her portion of cake. He was asked why he chose her. .He said : I don't know ; she looks the most like ray mother." 44 Mother! whose mother ? " 44 My mother. I never knew her, but was stolen away fiom her, and here is her portrait ! " With this he drew from out of his rag ged coat a likeness, which pioved to be that of the very lady herself, who, in Italy, had her child stolen from her, and he now turns up a poor little Savoyard, drag ging along a miserable existence in Paris, wbile his mother, by n intuition, perhaps felt that in the air near to where she was, was one so dear to her. The ll Moral Idea" Party. A writer from North Carolina who has been luxuriating at the "Moral Idea" con vention, gives the following account of the closing scene. "Just prior to adjournment a "delegate" struck up "John Brown's Body," with great unction, lining out the song from a Freedman's Bureau missionary hymn book. Iu joined the saints and up rose the cho rus. At first the negroes in the gallery looked on in amaze, but pretty soon they too began to sing and the uproar grew tremendous. "Old John Brown" gave way to "Hail Colnmbia," and that in turn to "O ! say yeller gal can't yer come out to-night," and then all were swamped in tho roaring air of "Hog Eye," a favorite negro corirshocking melody which begins •'Sal's in the garden siltin sand" and has for its second line a rhyme too indecent to repeat. Fired by this, the saints joined ail hands round and executed a war dance to the chorus, "And a roly. sholy, bool, An a hog-eye, And a roly, sholy, bool, An a hog-eye. For Sal's in de garden sifting sand," &c. And thus did the North Carolina con gressional redestruction "convention" dis port itself in its closing hours," GEN. GRANT BF.FORE TIIE PEOPLE. —So eager were the Itadicels to make an issue on Gen, Grant and test his popularity in the late Connecticut election, that *"1. They nominated hira for the Presi dency in their State Convention. 2. Their journals and speakers an nounced him as their candidate, and ap pealed to the voters to cast their ballots for Grant and Jewell, 3. They declared that the resnlt in Connecticut would be a verdict on the nomination of Gen. Grant. 4. They printed a portrait of General Grant on their ballots, so that every Rad ical elector should deposit a likeness of Grant in the ballot-box, thus making the vote specially significant on the Grant issue. Result: Democratic majority of 1807 doubled in 1868. THE BLOODY CHARACTER OF THE KC A'LLX KLAN. —That we have not overesti mated the bloody character of the Ku Klux Klan, is evident from the following, for which we are indebted to an exchange : 44 The Kn Klux Klan is said to number seventy-five thousand members in Alaba ma. The Lieutenant Grand Cyclops has his hindquarters in the saddle, and head quarters in Sacred Serpent's Den, and his camp in a graveyard near Montgomery.— His staff consists of Col. Black Cat, Col. Grand white Death, Major Rattling Skele ton, Captain Fast High Giant and Lieut. Red Dagger. The Ku Klux troops are very fond of nigger meat, and the Great Grand Beef Major has just issued ten days' rations of Union Leaguers, which destroyed the Radical majority in two whole coun ties," The Tribune hangs General Grant in advance of his sentence, hardly a good thing for an opponent of capital punish ment to do. If Grant 44 really made the promise the President alleges, " says the Tribune " then he must be u fool or a knave.'" Now, as the fact that General Grant 44 made the promise the President alleges " is established i>y the evidence of no less than four responsible witnesses, the Tribune has thus committed itself to the support of a candidate whom it de nounce as a fool or a knave. Stick a pin there.— World, Illinois Washhurne, Grant's political keeper, rides to the Capitol nearly every day upon a Government horse, sometimes attended by an orderly ?o take the 44 ciit tor " back. There are scores of other Radical preachers about economy who are taking their ease, at the expense of the Government to a much greater extent than this. SEVENTEEN YEAR LOCUSTS.— This is the year for the re appearance of the sev enteen year locusts. These insects made their first chronicled appearance here in 1799, and returned every seventeen years after that time. They last appeared in 1851, of which many of our readers doubt less have a distinct recollection. The Radical Governor of New* Jersey has vetoed the appropriation bill because it contains an item of $13,000 for station ery yet this item last year was 822,000. Then, however, the Legislature was Radi cal—now it is Democratic, which makes all the difference in the world to a mon grel. gg* Tbe Washington correspondent of the World unearths a letter of April 19, 1867, which shows thai \Y r adc, Chandler, Caret, Julian, Herbert, and other Radicals, had then formed a coalition to oust Stan ton from the War Office in order to instal Ben Butler. Matters have changed vastly since then. Booth's new theatre in New York is to cost $600,000, and will be completed in November It is stated that Fessenden is to be given tbe mission to England, for his vote against the President, TERMS, $2.00 Per. ANNUM, in Advance. ftJist anb Does aow beeomt; real-estate when she is turned into a meadow ? Sunday is the strongest day in the week. The rest are all week days. /•sh Billings says if a man is going to maltd a business of serving the Lord, he likes to see him do it when he measures onions, as well when he hollers halleluyer. There is something sweet about little girls. —Exchange. And it grows on 'em as they grow bigger —Louisville Journal. — —>..—. — A Western editor says that a girl lately sent him word, that if he did'nt shut his mouth about bishops, she'd wrap him up in ; a rag and make a bustle of him. A gentle man rode up to a public house in* ' the country, and asked, "Who is the master 'of this house ?" "I am, sir," replied the i landlord, "my wife has been dead about threS weeks;" j "Sure, an' it wasn't poverty that drove me from the ould counthry," said Michael, the other day, "for my father had twenty-oae yoke of oxen and a cow, and they gave milk j the year round." Hearing a physician remark that a small blow would break the nose, a rustic exclaim led : "Wal, I dunno 'bout it. I've blowcd my nose a number of times, and I've never ! broke it yet." The following is a sign over a shop, out West : Blow o blow ye gentle breeZes, All among the leaves and treezes. Sing o sing ye heavenly muses And i will mend your boots & shuses. Two boys fought out a quarrel the other day, and the bigger proved the "best mailt" "Darn ye,'' said No. 2, when he found he was j used up—"darn ye, if I can't lies ye,l'll make , mouths at your sister." Wonder what makes papa] tefl such nice stories about hiding the school master's rat- 1 tan when he went to school, and about his running away from the school mistress when she was going to whip him, thcn_,sbut me all dat' in the dark room because I tried just once to be as smart as he was 1 "llow do you get along with your arith me'.ic ?" asked a father of his little boy. "I've ciphered through addition, partition, subtraction, distraction, abomination, justifi cation, hallucination, darnatiofl, amputa tion. adoption. He'd do for aa engineer on a "short line railroad. Said Bill, "Since I've been abroad I've eat en so much veal that I'm ashamed to look a caif in the face." "I suppose," said a wag who was present, "then you shave without a mirror." The reply is not recorded. "Mother," exclaimed an affectionate young lady just home from boarding school, "moth er,here is a grammatical error in the Bible 1" •'Law sakes," replied the old lady, adjusting her "kill it ! kill it right off, for it's the pesky.thtrg that's been eatin' up the bookmarks." A NATURALIST. —Two countrymen seeing a naturalist in the field collecting insects,thus spoke of him of him : "Vol's that 'ere gemm.an ?" "V}', he's a naturalist." "Vol's that ?" "Yy, von who catches gnats, to be sure." IRREVERENT AND IRISH. —The other day a Jew was quizzing an Irishman, and kept at him until he was somewhat aggravated, when turntug round, lie tartly remarked : "Yes, dotn yer sowl, if it hadn't been for the likes o' yees,the Saviour would have been alive now an' doin' well." V WITTY. —"Ma," said the pride of the fami ly, who had seen some summers, "do you know why our torn cat is like a poet?" Ma did'nt know. "Why," said the precocious pet, "doesn't he go out nights and invoke the mewa t" "Bell, Mr. Snow, I wants ttfc ask you a question." "Propel it den." "Why am a grog shop like a counterfeit dollar ?" "Well, Ginger, I gibs dat right up." "Does you gib it up ? Kase you can't pass it." "Yah 1 yah ! nigger, you talk so much 'bout your counterfeit dollars, just succeed to deform me why a counterfeit dollar is like a apple pic V "O ! I draps de sabject, and doesn't know nothing 'bout it." "Kase it isn't current." "Oh ! crackie, what a nigger J Why #tn your head like a bag ob gold dollars 7" "Go way Irom ine—why am it ?" "Whv, kase dare's no sense (cents) in it." "Well, yon always was de brackest nigger I eber seen—you always will hab de last, wofd." NO. 39.