HARVEY SICKLER, Publisher,
VOL. VII.
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i ** K: IT 'in al or T.OCAI. TTFM advertising—with
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c\■ 1 MU-, ADMf NIS I'll A I'UltS andAUDI
; - ,\• !'IICES, of the u-ual length, 5'2,50
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.toil WtMIK
'An!; neatly executed and at jrioe to suit
, niANSTENT ADVERTISEMENTS and JOB
r ilk ii u.<t be paid for, when ordered
ifris ia ess Xo I /ces.
it K..CVV ELIIT LE ATTORNEYS AT
U LAW o;see on Tioga Street Tunkhannocfc Pa
if !hCOOPER, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON
|it, . i. f'eiitic. Lu/crno t'ouiity Pa.
II ! . I'Viit:i>ii, ATTORNEY AT LAW.
it '• i t , i.t the Court HoUiC, iu Tutikhaiioek
1. C:. P..
i, k, M. i'IATAOKMEk ,v i i..v v(
it . -lark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tunk
i I ■>
.1 DIiSL. AIT'dtNEY A.NJi ' oI'NSEL-j
| LOR -.1 LAW, Niebohna, Wyoming Or, Pa
l-.c i.i utteuin a given to settlement of vieeo-i
Si.:, I. Pa. Dec 5, IS^7— v"ul9yl
AT d. V, II>ON, AT 10 .NEY AT LAW, Co'. •
pie • ting and Real EsUte Agent, lewa Lends !
h ult. * Scruxew, Pa. sStf-
T . UHOAIM, PHYSICIAN A 3UR LO v i
P mil attend promptly to all calls in tn.> pro
9. Mav be hau l at hi- "fti e at the Dru"
■ ■■ ■ , > t, ,• put man Sreet, formerly
1 i by A. E. Pe.-khani E.-q.
ftPTIOTRV —v~
Ui ■ !v'■ .* 1 i n
- '• : t -y
. j
: '
• ■. .p;
. ..>e —*
P.?.. I. T. BURNS has permanently locate! in
lankb Borough, and respectfully tenler* ,
Bi pr : -i ami servu-r- to it.- eilixco*.
)f - ~n second floor, fo.marly ooou. iod ty Dr. j
'
fOBTRAJT, LAUBSCAPg,
A.Nl>
f\ **r rr "A,"" ~C *"** **c*
v ATi ,-- AI'X. XJ> *L"S A As I
7iy ;i\ /.re/:/:, a,
t i.-..-.er the Wyoming National bi nk,in Stark's
is s 1 k,
TUNKHANNOCK, PA.
L'■ ,• 1' rtfaits painted froin Ambrotypes or
!.• _■ :X- - Pho'ographs Pairtsd in Oil Ce tors, —
( niers for paiaAing* gscltsl accoidingto or
t" ' t i a irge made.
SVU i - rations given in Drawing; Sketching,
t rtr i ■ 1 Landscape Painting, in Oil or water !
'■•r a:. 1 iii ,11 brunches of the ait,
1* July 31, 'pT -vjjnoU-tf.
BOLTON HOUSE.
llAHlilsHl'ltO, I'KNNA.
T nil r-igncl having lately purchased the
b : TI.EU HOUSE " property, has already com-'
I-:. .- i !i alterations and improvements as will
• ir this old and |*ipuUr House equal, if not supe
' • t , any Hotel in the t'u.y of Harrisburg.
,'i tin nance of the public patronage is refpeot
• v solicited.
GEO. J. BOLTON
WALL'S HOTEL,
LATE AMERICAN HOUSE,
TU Sb.il VN NOCK, WYOMING CO., I\V
Til' c,t i' li.hmcnt has recently been refitted an
? la- i-h'd in the la'est stylo Every attention
' vn to the comfort and convenience of tho.-c
'1 .";iiiic the I'oii'e.
T. B. WALL, Owner and I'roprietor :
_J : ir - >-k, .September 11, 1361.
MEANS' HOTEL.
X'^V..
Ik li. BART LET,
oft- "brsinarh Horsn, EI.MIRA, N.Y.
I'ItOI'KIETOR.
•> MEANS HOTEL, i- one of the LARGEST
'■ LL-T AUK A A'li ED lb uses in the country —It
*■ i f up in ihe most mo ieru and unproved sty le 1
1 ; sins are spared to make it a pleusaiitund
•pwo.le stopping ppaee for all,
vaa2l-ly.
JmMidll Cwllcge.-*Tb -u, c.-sof Gard- j
BSMRMM and Ladies' Academy, at '
' n, ha* nUrpjssel all expectation. The coterte !
" J ly l- more thorough -the terms are cheaper— '
•2 ' better satisfaction than any other College |
J tid in Northern Pennsylvania Life Schol- |
- 5 00, i whs tl r-lu-fl rites Send tor'
- - 'per giving full particulars. Address J.
'' finer. Pnnc.pal, Scranton, Pa. u7nltlyl
INFORMATION.
-f.L-ti. -itir,n guaranteed to produce ft luxuriant
r * - I hair up,ai a bald head or beardless face.
'f ? ipt for tlnj removal of Pimple*, Blotches, ,
~ u i', •n..\ et c | ( , n j| ie gi(in t leaving the same sott
and licautiful, can be obtained without charge
< d Jresing
TH')J, F CHAPMAN, CherniK. j
92 Broad ,NwvYork. J
TUNKHANNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA. -WEDNESDAY, MAY 6. 1868.
getricli's Column.
Spring Trade for '6B
Will open on or about the Ist of May,
AT TUNKHANNOCK. PEI'A.
O. DetricK,
(SUCCESSOR TO BUNNELL A BANNATVNE,)
Proposes to establish himself permanently
in trade at this place, at the Brick
store house in Sam'l Stark's Block,
where by fair dealing and fair
prices be expects to merit and
receive tbc public patronage.
Attention is called to the following in
Dry Goods :
SILKS,
POPLINS,
ALPACAS.
LUSTRES,
DELAINES.
GINGHAM?,
PRINTS,
SHAWLS.
I,VI)1E* SAKU'IXG*,
l)It ESS TRIMMINGS,
BLEACHED AND BROWN MUSLINS,
CLOTHS AND CASSIMISRES
GENTS' FURNISHING GOODS,
TOILET ARTIC EE M .
NOTIONS, AC.
Groceries.
SUGAR,
TEA,
COFFEE,
MOLASSES,
P.ICE,
SYRUP,
CANDLES,
SOAP,
STARCH,
FLOUR,
FEED,
SALT,
PORK,
BUTTER,
CHEESE,
DRIED BEEF,
HAMS,
FISH of all kinds,
BEANS,
AC., AC.,
Hardware,
A FULL ASSORTMENT.
Cutlery
OF ALL KINDS,
MEN'S AND BOYS'
Hats and Caps.
:ot
Boots Sf Shoes,
A FULL ASSORTMENT.
Thig branch of business male a speciality. A lot of
SEWED ARMY SHOES,
A GREAT BARGAIN,
SOLE LEATHER.
CROCKER V.
STON E,
noon AND
TIN TVARE,
in great variety.
All kinds of Produce taken io eiohange for Good*.
The above articles will be kept in full assortment.
I mean to make the experiment of good* sold in
quantiles cheaper than ever before in this vicinity,
I shall be happy to see you, and you can depend up
on Coding bargains tn every department. Goods re
ceived every week.
Respectfully yours,
c. !
From the Scrantyi Daily Register
AT LAST.
BY STELLA, OP LACKAWANNA.
At last, at last, oh waiting life ;
At last, oh languid, throbbing heart,
The crocus lifts its starry'eyes
And the green hedges start :
Oh never mom so dreary-browed.
Or never sky so clouJed-o'ercast,
But somewhere, 'inong the hills of hope
The sunshine breaks at last.
At last, at last, oh weary one,
That thought the Summer ne'er wo'd comc ;
The robin makes his wulcoino bow,
And bees are all a hum ;
And blue-birds dip their slender wings
In rival dalliinee,Jto and fro, .
And chorus forth a thousand things
Our hearts knew long ago.
The rills, like school-freed children shout
An J babble to the silont shore,
As if there never talked a wave .
So uierily before :
And the tall wiliows downward plunge
To I'sten, if they rightly hear
The monotone of other years,
So far, and yc t so near-
Oh dews as cool as sweet moselle !
Oh spiny brccre that stirs the heart !
Oh fringing woods, ye somehow thrill
The blood to quicker start:
It seemed so long, so long to wait,
When icy fetters bound us fast,
Tot never sky so desolate
But sunshine breaks at last.
A Bachelor's Defense
Bachelors are style by married men who
have jot their foot in it. as only half per
fected beings, cheerless vagabonds, but
half a pair of scissors, and many other
ridiculous titles are given to them; while
on the oilier band they extol their state
as one of such perfect bii-s that a change
from earth to heaven would be somewhat
of a doubtful good. If they are so happy,
why don't they enjoy their happiness and
hold their tongues about it ? What do
halt the men get married for? Simply
that they may have somebody to* darn
their stockings, sew buttons on their shirts,
arid trot babies; that they have si m> body
a> a married man said once, "to pull otl
their boots when they are a little haltny.,'
These fellows are always talking of the
lom liiuss of bachelors. Loneliness, in
deed ! Who is petted to death by ladies
wtih nirdPriag-ahln daughters invited .to
tea and evening parties, and told to drop
in just when it is convenient /—the bache
lor.
Who lives in clover all his days, and
w hen he dies lias flivvers strew n on his
grave by the girls that could not entrap
him ' —the bachelor.
Who strewed flowers on the married
man's grave — the widow ? Not a bit of
it; she pulls down the tombstone that a
six weeks' grief had set up in her heart;
she goes and gets married again, she does.
Who goes to bed early because time
hangs so heavily on bis shoulders ?—the
marrii <1 man.
Who gets a scolding for p eking off the
softest part of a bed, and for waking up
the baby in the morning ? —the married
man.
Who has wood to split, house-hunting
and marketing to do, the young ones to
wash, and lazy servants to look after ?
the married man.
Who is taken up for whipping nis wife ?
—the married man.
Who gets divorces ?—the married man.
finally who lias got the Scriptures on
his side?—the bachelor. St. Panl knew
what he was about when he said ; "Jlo
that marries not dots better,"
llow to Cot"kt ix Curßcn.—A very
young gentleman, happening to be at a
Church in a pew adjoining one in which
sat a young lady for whom he had con
ceived a sudden and violent passion, was
desirous of entering into a courtship on the
spot, but the place not being suitable for a
formal declaration, the case suggested the
following plan :
lie politely handed his fair neighbor a
Bible opened with a pin stuck in the fol
lowing text:
Second Epistle of John, verse oth.
"And now I beseech thee lady, not as
though I wrote a new commandment unto
thee, but that which we bad from the be
ginning. that we love one another."
She returned it, pointing to the second
Epistle of Ruth, verse 10th.
"Then she fell on hei face and bowed
herself to the ground and said to lrra :
"Why have I found grace in thine eyes
seeing I ain a stranger ?
lie returned the book pointing to the
thirteenth verse of the third Epistle of
John :
Ilavjng many things to write nnto you,
I would not write with a pen and ink, but
I trust shortly to come unto you, and
speak face to face that our joy may be
full.
Fr>m the above interview a marriage
took place the ensuing week.
A witness being called to give evi
dence in court in Connecticut respecting
the loss of a shirt, gave the following :
" Mother said that Ruth said that l'olly
told her, that she saw a man that see a
boy run through the street with a streak
ed flannel shirt, all checker, checker, check
er ; and our gals wont lie, for mother Las
whipped them a thousand tUnes for lying.
44 To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right. "
HOW HE GOT A WIFE.
A FRENCH ROMANCE.
One of those little romances of which
the French are so fond, has lately taken
| place in Paris, and is thus described in a
journal : M. Robert, an immense!? wealthy
and highly accomplished ELEGANT, well
know not only for his valuable collections
of paintings and mt-diseval relics, but for
rare skill as a designer and painter, hear
ing that one of his tenauts, a Mr. 8., whom
he had never seen, kept one of the most ex
tensive ateliers of fancy boxes and orna
! mental objects iu France, called on him
I with a view to make his acquaintance.
Entering the counting room he found a
good-natured, eccentric gentleman of mid-
I die age, who greeted him and exclaimed :
! 44 1 suppose that you also have seen my
advertisement and come to apply for that
j situation as designer ?"
For a joke M. Robert replied that he
j had. M. B. supplied him with paints and
j brushes, and requested him to produce a
design for a casket. M. Robert soon found
what M. 15. really wanted was an artist
who would strictly carry out his own ideas,
and that these were pure and formed on
jan extensive knowledge af art. In a short
; time he produced a sketch which suited
! the employer to a dot-- 44 A POINT."
M. Robert very gravely engaged him-
I self, exacted good wages, and insisted on
j having several new articles of furniture
placi d in the room which was a-signed him.
But when he was introluced to the work
rooms and fotrr.d one hundred and fifty
girls, many of them young and beautiful,
| busily employed, and was informed that
he would he required to supply them with
I designs and show the young ladies how
; they were to be carried out, the young
artist began to feel as if he should have
to be carried out himself—being very
| susceptible.
( " W'oik for a living, " said he to himself,
j 4 is not entiielv devoid of attractions. Let
i us work "
JM. Robert being an accomplished artist,
I delighted his emplover. and he soon found
a remarkable fascination in seeing his de
signs real zed in steel, silver, enamel, or
wood. lie took a pleasure hitherto un
known in seeing his works in shop-windows
and finding tlnm :n the bourdoirs of his
friends. This workshop life was of course
carcfnllv concealed from "society," nor
diu his empioyer suspect that his artist
was his landlord. But M. Robert soon
| found a more intens- object of fascination
in the daughter of Mr. 15.. a young lady
who al-o took part in the duties of the
atelier. This dsinsel was remarkable for
ae ompli-hments, as far her extraordinary
beau'v, and M. Robeit soon found that
as regaided taste and culture in all mat
ters which specially interested him he
had never met with any one like her. —
Step by step, the pair fi 11 in love, and
little bv little, the artist ingratiated him
self with the father that the latter, after
due diliberation, ccnseutcd to their un-i
ion.
Previous to the marriage the old gen
tleman one day spoke ola dowry. 44 I
shall give Marie fifty thousand francs, "
said he, with a little air of boasting. 44 Eh,
MON GAKCON ? "
" And I suppose, " added M. Robert,
gravely, " that I. too, must settle something i
on rny wife. W c-U I will."
This caused a peal of laughter, which
was redoubled when the artist added :
44 And I will settle this piece of property :
house and all. with the building adjoining,'
on her,"
But what was their amazement when M',
Robert drew forth the title deeds, and i
! said :
41 You seem to forget that I am your
! landlord ?" Isn't my uame Robert?
The young lady did not faint, but papa
i almost died with astonishment and joy.
j There was a magnificent wedding, but the
| bridegroom has not given up business. —
He declares that there is as much amuse- j
ment in being useful as in amusing one's i
1 self.
NIGGF.R VOTING STOPPED IN OHIO. —In
Ohio the Supreme Court of that State de
cided that the clause of the Constitution
which restricted the right of suffrage to
white men, did not preclude those niggers
who had a preponderance of white blood,
from voting. I nder that decision Radical
election boards allowed simon pure Guinea
niggers to vote last fail. The (democratic
Legislature has decided to put a stop to
that, bv passing a law declaring that nl
one with nigger blood in his veins shal
vote.
4 TEAR DOWN THE FLAUNTING LIE."—
Scrgt. Bates, who walked from Vicksbtirg,
Miss., to Washington, carrying with him
the American flag, was well received ev
erywhere on his way till he arrived at the
National Capitol, which radical policeman
forbade him to enter. This insult to the
flag occurred on Wednesday last. At the
same moment that Sergt. Bates was push
ed rudely back, tbe rotunda of the capitol
was half full of vagabond niggers, who bad
entered unchallenged. Comment is su
perfluous.
The Radicals bought up the Fenian
Head Centre in Connecticut. He tried
to coax the Irish from the Democratic
faith. Result, 1,700 Democratic majority.
When the Hudson flows into Lake Cham
plain, the Radicals will succeed in indu
cing the Irish to vote for negro equality
and white slavery under Congressional
rule.— World.
The Liability Act.
The following act, which is of impor
tance to railroad companies and the pnblic
generally, was approved by the Governor
on the 4th inst :
An Act relating to railroad companies and
common carriers, defining their liabili
ties, and authoiizing them to provide
means of idemnity against loss of life
and personal injury.
Be it enacted, That when any person
shall sustain personal injury, or loss of life,
while lawfully engaged or employed on or
about the road,works, depots,and premises
of a railroad company, or on or about any
train or car therein or thereon, of which
company such person is not an employee ;
the right of action and recovery in all such
cases against the company shall be such
only as would exist if anch person were an
employee. Provided, That this section shall
not apply to passengeis.
I Section 2. That in all actions now or here
after instituted against common carriers or
companies owning, operating, or using a
railroad as a public highway,wherein steam
or other motive power is used, to recover
for loss and damage sustained and arising
either from personal injuries or loss of life,
and for which, by law, such'carrier or cor
poration could be bcld responsible, only
such compensation for loss and damage
shall be recovered as the evidence shall
cleatly prove to have been pecuniarily suf
fered or sustained, not exceeding in case of
loss of life the sum of five thousand dol
! lars.
Section 3. That it shall be lawful for
such carrier or corporation to insure the
lives and persons of passengers against loss
or injury from accidental causes, and how
ever happening, while in their charge, and
for that purpose to issue and sell to such
passengers applying for thejsame, tickets or
policies of insurance, specifying the name
of the insured, the premium charged, the
particular trip or time covered by the poli
cy, and the amount insured, not exceeding
(except at the option of the said carrier or
corporation) the sum of twenty five dollars
for each week of disability, for a period
not longer than tweutv-six weeks, in case
of personal injury, nor more than ten
thousand dollars in case of death, and all
premiums so received shall be kept sepa
rate and apart from the other receipts of
said carrier or corporation, and shall not
be liable for any other claims, debts or de
mands against such carrier or corporation
than those arising out of said policies, and
the amount of said premium ; and the se
curities in which the same are invested for
the benefit and protiction of such policy
holders shall be reported to the Auditor
General annually as a part of the opera
tions of such carrier or corporation as is
now provide I for by the act entitled "an act
to require railroad companies to rrake uni
form reports to the Auditor General," ap
proved April 4th 1859 ; provided, never
theless, that it shall be lawful for any such
carrier or corporation, iu lieu of issuing
tickets as aforesaid, to keep on sale at their
ticket office the policies of insurance or in
demn.ty again-t persoual injury or death
resulting trora accidental causes, issued by
insurance compinies incorporated for any
such purposes as shall have an actual bona
fide cash capital invested in secuiities ap
proved by the Governor, State Treasurer,
and Auditor General of this Common
wealth of at least two hundred thousand
dollars ; provided that a recovery upor.
any policy issued or solu under the provis
ions of this act shall he no bar to a recov
ery under the provisions of the second
section of this act.
Section 4. That all acts or parts of acts
inconsistent herewith be and the same are
hereby repealed, and any provisions in the
acts incorporating such common carriers or
corporations inconsistent herewith shall be
repealed upon the acceptance of the pro
visions of this act by such carriers or cor
porations, and upon the acceptance of the
provisions hereof by any carrier or corpor
ation, the same shall become a part of its
act of incorporation.
A Story from Paris.
A Taris letter tells the following story
of a Twelfth Night fete in that city. A
wealthy (amilty in the aristocratic boulvard
Malesherbes were amusing themselves in
seeking the King's portion, or the ring in
the festival cake, when a lady of the com
pany says to the hostess :
44 I wish my poition to be given to the
poorest little boy we can find in the street. '
The servant was dispatched on this
freezing night, and not far from the house
he found a ragged urchin, trembling with
cold and hunger. He brought him up,
was ordered into the saloon, where a
thousand lights glittered, and a sparkling
fire gladdened and surprised him. He
drew his portion which the benevolent
ladv had promised, and as luck would have
it, the little fellow found the "ring"
( beans they use in Taris instead,) and, of
course he was "King." They all shouted out
that, being a £ing he must choose a
Queen. He was asked to do so, and look
ing around the company, ho chose the
very lady who had proposed to cede her
portion of cake. He was asked why he
chose her. .He said :
I don't know ; she looks the most like
ray mother."
44 Mother! whose mother ? "
44 My mother. I never knew her, but
was stolen away fiom her, and here is her
portrait ! "
With this he drew from out of his rag
ged coat a likeness, which pioved to be
that of the very lady herself, who, in Italy,
had her child stolen from her, and he
now turns up a poor little Savoyard, drag
ging along a miserable existence in Paris,
wbile his mother, by n intuition, perhaps
felt that in the air near to where she was,
was one so dear to her.
The ll Moral Idea" Party.
A writer from North Carolina who has
been luxuriating at the "Moral Idea" con
vention, gives the following account of the
closing scene.
"Just prior to adjournment a "delegate"
struck up "John Brown's Body," with
great unction, lining out the song from a
Freedman's Bureau missionary hymn book.
Iu joined the saints and up rose the cho
rus. At first the negroes in the gallery
looked on in amaze, but pretty soon they
too began to sing and the uproar grew
tremendous. "Old John Brown" gave
way to "Hail Colnmbia," and that in turn
to "O ! say yeller gal can't yer come out
to-night," and then all were swamped in
tho roaring air of "Hog Eye," a favorite
negro corirshocking melody which begins
•'Sal's in the garden siltin sand" and has
for its second line a rhyme too indecent to
repeat. Fired by this, the saints joined ail
hands round and executed a war dance to
the chorus,
"And a roly. sholy, bool,
An a hog-eye,
And a roly, sholy, bool,
An a hog-eye.
For Sal's in de garden sifting sand," &c.
And thus did the North Carolina con
gressional redestruction "convention" dis
port itself in its closing hours,"
GEN. GRANT BF.FORE TIIE PEOPLE. —So
eager were the Itadicels to make an issue
on Gen, Grant and test his popularity in
the late Connecticut election, that
*"1. They nominated hira for the Presi
dency in their State Convention.
2. Their journals and speakers an
nounced him as their candidate, and ap
pealed to the voters to cast their ballots
for Grant and Jewell,
3. They declared that the resnlt in
Connecticut would be a verdict on the
nomination of Gen. Grant.
4. They printed a portrait of General
Grant on their ballots, so that every Rad
ical elector should deposit a likeness of
Grant in the ballot-box, thus making the
vote specially significant on the Grant
issue.
Result: Democratic majority of 1807
doubled in 1868.
THE BLOODY CHARACTER OF THE KC
A'LLX KLAN. —That we have not overesti
mated the bloody character of the Ku
Klux Klan, is evident from the following,
for which we are indebted to an exchange :
44 The Kn Klux Klan is said to number
seventy-five thousand members in Alaba
ma. The Lieutenant Grand Cyclops has
his hindquarters in the saddle, and head
quarters in Sacred Serpent's Den, and his
camp in a graveyard near Montgomery.—
His staff consists of Col. Black Cat, Col.
Grand white Death, Major Rattling Skele
ton, Captain Fast High Giant and Lieut.
Red Dagger. The Ku Klux troops are
very fond of nigger meat, and the Great
Grand Beef Major has just issued ten days'
rations of Union Leaguers, which destroyed
the Radical majority in two whole coun
ties,"
The Tribune hangs General Grant in
advance of his sentence, hardly a good
thing for an opponent of capital punish
ment to do. If Grant 44 really made the
promise the President alleges, " says the
Tribune " then he must be u fool or a
knave.'" Now, as the fact that General
Grant 44 made the promise the President
alleges " is established i>y the evidence of
no less than four responsible witnesses,
the Tribune has thus committed itself to
the support of a candidate whom it de
nounce as a fool or a knave. Stick a pin
there.— World,
Illinois Washhurne, Grant's political
keeper, rides to the Capitol nearly every
day upon a Government horse, sometimes
attended by an orderly ?o take the 44 ciit
tor " back. There are scores of other
Radical preachers about economy who
are taking their ease, at the expense of
the Government to a much greater extent
than this.
SEVENTEEN YEAR LOCUSTS.— This is
the year for the re appearance of the sev
enteen year locusts. These insects made
their first chronicled appearance here in
1799, and returned every seventeen years
after that time. They last appeared in
1851, of which many of our readers doubt
less have a distinct recollection.
The Radical Governor of New* Jersey
has vetoed the appropriation bill because
it contains an item of $13,000 for station
ery yet this item last year was 822,000.
Then, however, the Legislature was Radi
cal—now it is Democratic, which makes
all the difference in the world to a mon
grel.
gg* Tbe Washington correspondent of
the World unearths a letter of April 19,
1867, which shows thai \Y r adc, Chandler,
Caret, Julian, Herbert, and other Radicals,
had then formed a coalition to oust Stan
ton from the War Office in order to instal
Ben Butler. Matters have changed vastly
since then.
Booth's new theatre in New York
is to cost $600,000, and will be completed
in November
It is stated that Fessenden is to be
given tbe mission to England, for his vote
against the President,
TERMS, $2.00 Per. ANNUM, in Advance.
ftJist anb
Does aow beeomt; real-estate when she
is turned into a meadow ?
Sunday is the strongest day in the week.
The rest are all week days.
/•sh Billings says if a man is going to maltd
a business of serving the Lord, he likes to see
him do it when he measures onions, as well
when he hollers halleluyer.
There is something sweet about little girls.
—Exchange.
And it grows on 'em as they grow bigger
—Louisville Journal.
— —>..—. —
A Western editor says that a girl lately
sent him word, that if he did'nt shut his
mouth about bishops, she'd wrap him up in
; a rag and make a bustle of him.
A gentle man rode up to a public house in*
' the country, and asked, "Who is the master
'of this house ?" "I am, sir," replied the
i landlord, "my wife has been dead about threS
weeks;"
j "Sure, an' it wasn't poverty that drove me
from the ould counthry," said Michael, the
other day, "for my father had twenty-oae
yoke of oxen and a cow, and they gave milk
j the year round."
Hearing a physician remark that a small
blow would break the nose, a rustic exclaim
led : "Wal, I dunno 'bout it. I've blowcd
my nose a number of times, and I've never
! broke it yet."
The following is a sign over a shop, out
West :
Blow o blow ye gentle breeZes,
All among the leaves and treezes.
Sing o sing ye heavenly muses
And i will mend your boots & shuses.
Two boys fought out a quarrel the other
day, and the bigger proved the "best mailt"
"Darn ye,'' said No. 2, when he found he was
j used up—"darn ye, if I can't lies ye,l'll make
, mouths at your sister."
Wonder what makes papa] tefl such nice
stories about hiding the school master's rat- 1
tan when he went to school, and about his
running away from the school mistress when
she was going to whip him, thcn_,sbut me all
dat' in the dark room because I tried just
once to be as smart as he was 1
"llow do you get along with your arith
me'.ic ?" asked a father of his little boy.
"I've ciphered through addition, partition,
subtraction, distraction, abomination, justifi
cation, hallucination, darnatiofl, amputa
tion. adoption.
He'd do for aa engineer on a "short line
railroad.
Said Bill, "Since I've been abroad I've eat
en so much veal that I'm ashamed to look a
caif in the face." "I suppose," said a wag
who was present, "then you shave without a
mirror."
The reply is not recorded.
"Mother," exclaimed an affectionate young
lady just home from boarding school, "moth
er,here is a grammatical error in the Bible 1"
•'Law sakes," replied the old lady, adjusting
her "kill it ! kill it right off, for
it's the pesky.thtrg that's been eatin' up the
bookmarks."
A NATURALIST. —Two countrymen seeing
a naturalist in the field collecting insects,thus
spoke of him of him :
"Vol's that 'ere gemm.an ?"
"V}', he's a naturalist."
"Vol's that ?"
"Yy, von who catches gnats, to be sure."
IRREVERENT AND IRISH. —The other day a
Jew was quizzing an Irishman, and kept at
him until he was somewhat aggravated, when
turntug round, lie tartly remarked :
"Yes, dotn yer sowl, if it hadn't been for
the likes o' yees,the Saviour would have been
alive now an' doin' well."
V
WITTY. —"Ma," said the pride of the fami
ly, who had seen some summers, "do you
know why our torn cat is like a poet?"
Ma did'nt know.
"Why," said the precocious pet, "doesn't
he go out nights and invoke the mewa t"
"Bell, Mr. Snow, I wants ttfc ask you a
question."
"Propel it den."
"Why am a grog shop like a counterfeit
dollar ?"
"Well, Ginger, I gibs dat right up."
"Does you gib it up ? Kase you can't
pass it."
"Yah 1 yah ! nigger, you talk so much
'bout your counterfeit dollars, just succeed to
deform me why a counterfeit dollar is like a
apple pic V
"O ! I draps de sabject, and doesn't know
nothing 'bout it."
"Kase it isn't current."
"Oh ! crackie, what a nigger J Why #tn
your head like a bag ob gold dollars 7"
"Go way Irom ine—why am it ?"
"Whv, kase dare's no sense (cents) in it."
"Well, yon always was de brackest nigger
I eber seen—you always will hab de last,
wofd."
NO. 39.